Does this sound familiar ???? THINGS MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
- "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION. - "You better pray that'll come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. - "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC. - "Because I said so, that's why!"
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
- "If you fall out of that swing &break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. - "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
- "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. - "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. - "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. - "You'll sit there until all that spinach is all gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
- "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
- "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
- "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. - "Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
- "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
- "Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
- "You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
- "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, They are going to freeze that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP. -"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
- "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
- "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22 My mother taught me GENETICS.
- "You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. - "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
- "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favorite: my mother taught me about JUSTICE. - "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"
Get rid of annoying pop-up ads with the new MSN Toolbar – FREE! <http://g.msn.com/8HMBENUS/2752??PS
|