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Dealing with someone with Depression?

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Last activity 2013-12-15 9:47 AM
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cavlier
Reg. Feb 2009
Posted 2013-12-13 9:41 PM
Subject: RE: Dealing with someone with Depression?


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yellowhorse1 - 2013-12-12 3:57 AM

BARRELHORSE USA - 2013-12-12 2:15 AM

I think everyone had better believe his letter and send him to a rehab place for 24/7 treatment ... first thing drug tests ..

He is 24 years old and time to be weaned into the real world and none of the family means anything to him other than to manipulate everyone and keep your lives in turmoil ... It will take professional help to accomplish any changes.

TUFF LOVE WORKS .. but at the same time with his mental state towards the family .. always beware and careful in his presence and do not fall for his woe is me type of actions!!

I would classify him as a professional manipulator and lazy ... everyone has to agree that he is beyond the families help and send him away to find his own way to happiness ... and he should seek help on his own and not bankrupt your parents by running home each time his coffee is too hot or he does not want to do what is required of him at the rehab ....

Only he can help himself ... !!


I have been thinking about this post and came back to say basically what this poster has said.
This guy is 24 and he is being enabled to some degree to be able to act like this by still being able to live at home.
Your family is not doing him any favors! Yes, he needs tuff love! If he were out trying to figure out how to keep a roof over his head more than likely he wouldn't have the time or energy to "brood" so much! I would strongly suggest to your parents that they need to tell him it's time to look into other living arrangements that HE pays for.
Having said all this, prayers for you. You sound like a very caring sister who wants her brother to be happy. Hope your family can find the strength to make this guy grow up. Good luck

I keep going back to the fact that he works out and he goes shopping for his food etc. Etc. Where does he getting the money for all of this. I agree with y'all he has the family foole.
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cowgirlchic
Reg. Feb 2005
Posted 2013-12-15 9:47 AM
Subject: RE: Dealing with someone with Depression?



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He works out because we have an at home gym. No one pays for a gym membership. We've had all the equipment for years.

He does the grocery shopping because everyone works full time, so it's easier for us to give him the money to do the shopping. He buys healthy food and does most of the cooking. He does not buy any "extras". He gives my parents the reciepts and they check their debit card to see where it's been used. He's NEVER purchased anything extra with it.

My parents don't give him money. He has some saved up. They pay for his therapy and the gas to get him there, that is it.

He has lived on his own and bought everything he has on his own.  He moved back in a little while ago. My parents aren't going to kick him out because as the therapist has stated, that's only going to make his issues worse at the moment.

My brother will tell you if you ask him that his goal is to overcome everything and get back on his own as soon as he can. He knows he needs help and he wants it. He is the one who came to my family and asked for help because he knew something was wrong with him. 

I find it funny that you all think that he is lazy. He was military.. how dare you call our military, someone who fought for YOUR freedom, lazy. He loved being in the military and that had been his dream since he was a child. He had that taken away from him, and after that is when the depression began. He has a lot of anger built up from his dreams being crushed. 

No, he isn't working currently, but he has been putting in job applications like crazy. I know this because he uses my laptop to put them in. His anxiety gets bad, he gets overwhelmed and feels trapped, and that's why he gets fed up and quits a job. 

And obviously, like I've stated, he is in therapy and has been officially diagonsed with OCD, Anxiety and Depression.

I didn't come on here and ask for your opinion on my brother, someone that you don't know, nor do you know his whole life story. I asked for opinions on how to understand and deal with his depression, and maybe some ideas on how to get him to open up. For you all to attack my family is absolutely ridiculous.  Thank you to those of you who didn't attack, and for the helpful PM's that I did get.




 


Edited by cowgirlchic 2013-12-15 9:52 AM
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