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Please critique

Moderators: gotothewhip, crossspur
Jump to page : 		Last activity 2014-09-29 11:27 AM
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GoinJettin
Reg. Feb 2005
Posted 2014-09-28 11:31 AM
Subject: Please critique



Night Watchman


Posts: 5516
5000500
Location: Central Montana		Please critique my ad.  I know I need to get new video up, just waiting for someone to be able to come and take it.

Other than that.....what can I add/change on the verbiage?

http://barrelhorseworld.com/horsedetail.asp?ID=202062
 
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Morab76
Reg. Feb 2008
Posted 2014-09-28 1:23 PM
Subject: RE: Please critique


Military family

Ms. Manners


Posts: 1820
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Location: Oklahoma		From the description, I cannot see most trading a started reiner for her.  She is a good looking mare and I like the pictures you have used.  A video will certainly increase interest, but you already know that.  Even if you can just get a clear, decent quality video of all three gaits in a round pen and show her legs as well, her ad would get a lot more traffic.

My two concerns are . . . you may want to remove "we got in trouble for that" after mentioning she has kicked when a horse came up on her rear end.  It is not hiding anything and, in my opinion, only serves to create more questions.  Your description of where she is at under saddle is a little fuzzy to me.  What does she know other than trotting the pattern?  How much saddle time has she had and where is she at?  How are her ground manners?

Otherwise, very solid ad.  If you have more good quality pics and can add them.  The video will help.
 
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GoinJettin
Reg. Feb 2005
Posted 2014-09-28 2:51 PM
Subject: RE: Please critique



Night Watchman


Posts: 5516
5000500
Location: Central Montana		Thank you!  I will edit and make it more clear.
 
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Whiteboy
Reg. Jul 2012
Posted 2014-09-29 11:27 AM
Subject: RE: Please critique


Military family

That's White "Man" to You


Posts: 5156
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I'd take out the line about the video... 
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