So I took a couple years off and then started getting back into it but then got pregnant so I took another year off. I started back riding and going to a few races here and there but not consistently. I just recently this fall started wanting to get more serious with it come spring time when the weather was better. Also started getting my child into riding and going to fun days. It was a hit from the beginning. Fast forward to 2 weeks ago one of my best friends, mentor and just one of my most favorite people in my life was killed in a barrel racing accident. Every single bit of my "want to" is gone. And the thought of even putting my child back on a horse scares me. Because this proved no matter how careful we are bad things can happen. Maybe I'm about to make my self sound crazy. Maybe I am lol. Since it happened I can't sleep good. I have constant bad/realistic dreams every night involving either her or horses in general. I couldn't live with my self if something happened to my child doing something I kinda pushed him into. I'm aware things happen in every sport but I'm also aware horses are more dangerous just because they're horses. Right now if someone offered ne a decent amount of money for my 2 horses I'd sell them. This has rocked me to my very core and I don't know how or if I can bounce back from it. Im ready to quit, sell out and find something else to do but at the same time that doesn't seem like the right answer. I don't know what kind of feed back im looking for. I just needed to vent.
Hugs to you, it sounds like you just need to take some time and process everything. GOD will provide your answers in time.
First, hugs to you! Second, I would recommend going to a therapist/counselor and talk through your feelings and thoughts. A lot of times just talking through it will help you sort things out. I wouldn't make a quick decision to sell them just yet. Take your time, all the time you need! Maybe just hang on to them until you have had time to let the shock wear off and really think things through. There is no right or wrong answer to how you work through this. One last thought, what would this friend tell you to do? Whatever decisions you make, I hope they bring you peace and comfort.
SO very sorry. Traumatic events are no fun even for the most hardened of individuals. Being cautious is one thing, but being overly protective and reactive is another. You will never protect yourself or your child from every mishap, including when God wants either of you.
I would suggest counseling for you. It never hurts to talk to someone and if it's affecting your sleep, then it's also affecting your judgement because your mind truly can't turn off and heal itself.
Give yourself time to recover. There are no timelines for how fast you or your child has to return to riding. I agree with the above poster, what would your friend tell you to do? I highly doubt this person would tell you to run away and change your entire life due to one tragic event, especially when it made you incredibly happy in the past. You might simply have to go love on your horses for awhile until you feel like you're ready to feel the wind in your face.
Hugs I'm so very sorry you are going through this. In March of 2020 my mom suddenly passed away. She got sick & within 26 hours she was gone. We were very close. That caused me to have to deal with a horrible horrible step sister and brother in order to settle things. Then 6 months later my mom's sister my wonderful special aunt was killed in a terrible farm accident. I just wanted to cover my head up in bed and not get up. I made myself do small things that were fun and brought joy to others. Thinking about them and planning them kept my mind busy and made me think about something else. Bedtime was the worst though when I laid down to sleep that last 26 hours of my mom's life ran through my head over and over again and if I got that out of my mind I would think about the hateful things my step sister and brother did or how my aunt died. So I would say the 23rd pslam over and over to myself till I fell asleep I couldn't remember the words it and think about other things at the same time. I don't know if either of these things will help you but I hope you find your comfort somewhere. I do know people are going to die no matter what we do. They die in bed every day. Also I know if this is God's plan for you, you will be ok. At the beginning of that year a dear friend of ours passed away of cancer & he told his daughter this. If this is what God has planneed for us it will be ok, I will be ok and you will be ok. I said that to myself everyday so times. 20 times and hour some days. I really believe God gave me that at the beginning of a tough tough year to get me through. TIme does make things better & it will be ok God is with you
Loco_Coco - 2023-01-23 12:51 AM
The best thing to ask yourself would your friend want you to quit because of her accident which resulted in her death, I personally think no she would want all to learn from what happen and if preventable how to prevent something like this happening again.
Don't do anything right now. Allow yourself time to grieve.
I'm so sorry. I quit riding several years ago, mostly because of my ex-husband. I bought another horse, but my nerve was gone and ending up selling her. I miss riding, but I know I wouldn't be doing me or my horse a favor, unless I was mentally ready to get back on. Hang in there. Don't make any hasty decisions. The same thing happens when someone is in a bad car wreck. I am a 911 Dispatcher and I have seen first hand people that get physically ill after being in or witnessing a traumatic car wreck. God will provide answers. I will be praying for you.
Loco_Coco - 2023-01-24 12:51 AM
there is a lady on here who wrote a letter or poem it stayed with me ,, i put my daughter on the horse that killed her.
i myself went down in alley way freak accidents happen.. like to ur friend. does not make it easier. great advice on here. but maybe go trailriding
like scout and her mom have been doing. . horses are wonderful.fyi i am a quad 21 years since my horse fell.
grieve talk to god he is there for you
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