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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 486
 
Location: CentralTexas | So I got engaged over Thanksgiving! We won't be getting married until probably spring of 2016, when I graduate Tarleton State. I have a few questions for the married people out there, so here we go!
1. When should we send save the dates?
2. When should I start looking at dresses?
3. How did yall ask your bridesmaids/maid of honor to be your bridesmaids/maid of honor?
4.What all should I start planning/doing in preparation?
Thanks for your input! Just kinda stressing out about this a little :) |
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 Expert
Posts: 1479
Location: rabbit run | Go to www.theknot.com It will answer every question you have and then some....
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 Expert
Posts: 2097
Location: Deep South | Congratulations!! I'm not married yet, but will be soon! Almost have my wedding completely planned except for a few small details left to go. I really hasn't been that stressful at all. We had plenty of time in our engagement also, and I just knocked out the big decisions early and one thing at a time.
1. A lot of people's opinions vary on save-the-dates, but generally between 6-12 months. I chose 6 months and invites at 3 months, I think if you have a pretty good idea of your guest list you will know if people need more/less time. All of our guests are local, so they really don't need a one year notice, but guests that have to travel from really far away plan vacation time etc, might.
2. I wouldn't start too soon on this. If you start you will likely find one, and you don't want to buy a dress 2-3 years in advance, your tastes or body could change. BUT mine did take about 4 months to come in after I found it in the store and ordered it, then you also have to allow time for a fitting and alterations. I found mine right about a year away.
3. I asked all of my girls to dinner one night, which is actually normal for us, and then gave them a wine bottle with a cute label poem I printed on the label asking them. There are so many ways to do this though! I've been asked with a card and a picture frame from other girls.
4.The one thing I would suggest you do first is find your venue. If you are going to rent a place they can book up fast! The place we went with was already booked solid for one year out and was filling up weekends for the next year already. |
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 Money Eating Baggage Owner
Posts: 9586
 
Location: Phoenix | Congrats! Check Pinterest! They always have those handy graphic how-tos and guidelines. |
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 Cute Little Imp
Posts: 2747
Location: N Texas | 1. I sent save-the-dates about 3-4 months out, and invitations roughly two months out.
2. You can look at dresses all you want, but you want to make sure and have one ordered AT LEAST 6-8 months before your wedding. They take time to get in and get alterations done, so if you wait till the last minute, you'll have to buy an off-the-rack dress. While looking online is fun, it can also be exhausting, so I wouldn't get really serious about dress shopping until about a year before your date. You'll need to know the venue/time of year/theme, etc so that your dress will match. Or you can pick out your dress and build your wedding around that.
3. I asked my sisters and my husband's sisters. Mine, I can't remember if I asked in person or over the phone...they pretty much assumed they were involved, so it wasn't a big deal. I asked my husband's sisters when we were all together for a birthday party. It was very informal, because I didn't like all the hoopla that went along with it.
4. My suggestion is to book the venue/photographer/caterer and other major vendors as far ahead of time as possible. ESPECIALLY the venue. They book so fast, you want to make sure you can get in on your date. However, in order to do that, you'll need a rough idea of your budget, and a ballpark number of guests. That's the first question they'll ask--how many guests will you have? That's where it can get complicated because you may have to trim your list if you fall in love with a venue that won't accommodate a large group.
While searching for venues, find out what is included in the price. Mine included a five-hour rental of the property, bridal suite for the girls to get ready, and all the tables and chairs for both the ceremony and reception. They set up and cleaned up everything. Some places won't provide tables, or they're an extra charge, or they charge extra for clean up, etc. Know what you're getting before you pay any deposits! Ask for a written contract (which they should provide anyway) outlining everything they provide, when you can come on the property, when you have to leave, etc.
Since your date is so far off, just enjoy it right now, look online at things you like, but don't commit to anything specific right away. You've got plenty of time. I'm a major procrastinator and the thing that drove me batty was everyone constantly asking me about every tiny detail "did you pick out this yet? have you thought about this? what are you going to do about this?" I was so thankful that the wedding was finally over and I'd never have to answer another wedding question ever again!
Oh, and during the planning, I seriously wanted to scrap the whole thing and go elope, but we'd already spend a ton of money, so I didn't want to throw it away. I really wish I wouldn't have listened to everyone who said "if you don't have a big wedding, you'll regret it". Bull honky, I've been married just over a year and still wish we would've eloped. Don't do a wedding for anyone but yourself! If you want to elope, DON'T let anyone guilt you into a wedding you don't want. Especially if you're paying for it yourself. Good luck! |
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 IMA No Hair Style Gal
Posts: 2594
| I was engaged for three years, we wanted to wait until after I graduated college, but knew we were commited to each other. Just had to save money for a big wedding and put a barn on our property first.
1.) I didn't send out save the dates. We had a big wedding (300 people invited) and I was all about cutting costs when I could...sent out invites about two months before.
2.) I got my dress a year out from the date.
3.) I didn't do anything fancy. It was a given my sister would be my maid of honor, and my bridemaids I said...will you be my bridesmaid? I would love for you to...and did it when I saw them in person.
4.) I did not start planning until a year out. First thing I did was book the venue, then the church-everything else is based off of that and if you are having your venue and church at two different locations you have to make sure you can get both on the same date.
For now I would keep your eyes peeled for venues and churches and try and do a little bargain shopping. I recommend not booking or buying anything this far out in the event that you put a deposit and they close for business...then you are out money. I would keep a journal of places that seem to be the best deals so you can reference them as you get closer.
ETA- CONGRATS! Enjoy these moments!!! Don't get me wrong I am happily married, but there is no better feeling then falling in love and getting hopelessly lost in each other before reality sets in and better half is no longer perfect (again-still love him, but he can drive me crazy, now when before he couldn't!)
Edited by magic gunsmoke 2013-12-10 12:22 PM
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 Veteran
Posts: 204
| diggerdoo - 2013-12-09 9:03 PM Go to www.theknot.com It will answer every question you have and then some....
What diggerdoo said....It even has checklists, timelines, etc, etc.!
And of course...CONGRATULATIONS! 
Edited by TheMidasTouch 2013-12-10 12:50 PM
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Member
Posts: 13
| My #1 TIP .......GET A WEDDING PLANNER!!! Even if it is someone in your family who volunteers! Someone needs to keep you focused and on track!!!
1. When should we send save the dates? IMO send them a year in advance especially if your not getting married near your home town. People need to plan.
2. When should I start looking at dresses? Don't purchase your dress till the year of! I planned my wedding in three months and it went to be tailored 4 weeks before the wedding and I picked it up the week before the wedding.
3. How did yall ask your bridesmaids/maid of honor to be your bridesmaids/maid of honor?
I created a box for them that had a painted cup or wine glass, with other lotions etc with a cute card that had a ring pop in it and it said "he popped the question now its my turn, will you be my bridesmaid?" hehe
4.What all should I start planning/doing in preparation?
Location location location!!! Especially depending on the time of year you plan on having it!
I made all my decorations (well me and my girls did) and that took a lot of time. The guest list was the hard part! My hubbies family is huge and my family lives in Oklahoma so I knew onlly a few were able to come, but that was stressfull b/c they didnt want to hurt anyones feelings....but one day I put my foot down and said look its our wedding and we are only going to have the people we actually know! Not someone who baby sat him one day of his life! lol :) Find someone who will help you stay on track but won't take over your wedding and try to force their ideas on you. And make it how you want it! Last but not least make it fun!!! We planned alot but it was simple and fun! Quick reception, we rode out on stick horses to the theme song to Lone Ranger which made the reception entertaining and fun, and we danced danced danced! At the end of the day make sure you remember the day in a good way not a stressfull whew glad its over way! Make memories that you will remember for a lifetime!
Oh and go read the post about new wives...they gave me lots of great info!!! hehe |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 794
| I second the venue thing. My nephew is getting married next fall and has been trying to find somewhere to get married for almost three months now. Finally found somewhere but was worried my dad would not go it is a vineyard and him being picky about that kina of thing.
I also second doing what you want don't let anyone bully you into doing something you don't want. I did elope and I realllllllllly wish I had a wedding. I have been married 29 years and let my husband talk me out of a wedding. I still hate the way we married. I always will.
Congrats, saddle up and enjoy the ride. |
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 Buttered Noodles Snacker
Posts: 4377
Location: NC | CONGRATS!!!!!
best tip I can give....
Save the stress and money and elope!!!!  |
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 Popped
Posts: 20421
Location: LuluLand~along I64 Indiana | my son is getting married in September 2014. I suggested the other day that they send out Christmas cards with their engagement photos on them as save the dates this year. I have a busy schedule and I actually like getting them this time of year so I can plan horse shows and vacations around weddings. |
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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 545
Location: Texas | Congratulations! Glad you started this thread! I got engaged December 1st! We will be getting married in September or next March. I think I will be looking for dresses soon. I read in a Brides' magazine on the plane yesterday that save the dates should go out 6 months before, then invitations 2 months ahead of time. There was all kinds of good tips in there, plus on Pinterest I have found a ton! People may unfollow me on there because of all the wedding stuff I'm pinning but I'm excited. |
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 Namesless in BHW
Posts: 10368
Location: At the race track with Ah Dee Ohs | HorsesNHarleys - 2013-12-10 1:24 PM CONGRATS!!!!!
best tip I can give....
Save the stress and money and elope!!!!
There ya go!  |
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 Expert
Posts: 1432
Location: Never in one place long | total performance - 2013-12-10 2:56 PM
HorsesNHarleys - 2013-12-10 1:24 PM CONGRATS!!!!!
best tip I can give....
Save the stress and money and elope!!!!
Yep! I agree, my wedding was amazing but SOO stressful... my sister who has basically been the wedding planner at multiple weddings said she's never going to have a wedding... too much stress! But if you want to anyway, I'd go to a wedding website... they will all have "to do" check lists the month, week, and day to follow. Those are very helpful. |
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Money Eating Baggage Owner
Posts: 9586
Location: Phoenix | HorsesNHarleys:: What did you do for a reception? Or did you have one? Did you also do a bridal party and whatnot?
Edited by hammer_time 2013-12-10 5:24 PM
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 Veteran
Posts: 292
Location: Northeast Nebraska | We went to Vegas over a weekend. We have been married 35 years. |
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Money Eating Baggage Owner
Posts: 9586
Location: Phoenix | I enjoy reading everyone's responses! I'm not engaged, but we know we're getting married and having a wedding just seems like TOO much hassle! I want to just elope but afraid I'd regret it. The place in want to get married at is in the boonies so I worry about being so far out in the middle of nowhere. So I enjoy everyone's responses on their experiences!! Don't mean to steal the thread....just encouraging more posts about experiences!! |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 486
Location: CentralTexas | Thank yall so much! This is kinda helping my stress a bit lol. I'm just such a worry wart about big things. |
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 Veteran
Posts: 268
| I just bought my wedding dress. I was actually trying on a bridesmaid dress for a wedding I'm going to be in next summer, and saw the dress, tried it on, and fell in love with it. It is perfect for our theme! We are getting married about a year and a half from now. I believe we have the colors, and we are working on the venue. We are going to have a smaller wedding. |
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 Owner of a ratting catting machine
Posts: 2258
| I'm not much help on the wedding front, but I will tell you that our elopement was one of the most intimate, joyous moments of my life. The only ones there were my best friend and my husband's best friend, along with a JP and a fantastic photographer. I'm crowd shy, pressure shy, and every other sort of shy. We picked out a beautiful wedding venue, I had on a cute cotton summer dress, and my husband was dressed to the 9s in his starch, hat and boots. I wore Mary Jane's for the first time in my life for all of about 1 hour. It was wonderful! |
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Cute Little Imp
Posts: 2747
Location: N Texas | hammer_time - 2013-12-10 5:59 PM
I enjoy reading everyone's responses! I'm not engaged, but we know we're getting married and having a wedding just seems like TOO much hassle! I want to just elope but afraid I'd regret it. The place in want to get married at is in the boonies so I worry about being so far out in the middle of nowhere. So I enjoy everyone's responses on their experiences!! Don't mean to steal the thread....just encouraging more posts about experiences!!
What I wish I would've done is elope and then come back and have a big party, kind of like a reception, but not nearly as formal. You could still wear a pretty dress, but you won't have to worry about monogrammed napkins, fancy centerpieces, bridesmaid dresses, etc, etc. |
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