|
|
 Money Eating Baggage Owner
Posts: 9586
   
Location: Phoenix | Really bummed right now. Ever since I moved away, I feel like I have no friends. I don't have any friends here, and I work a lot, but I've kept in touch with my main friends back home. But I feel like I'm the only one who tries and makes am effort. Two of my friends have gotten married and I figured I'd be a bridesmaid as we've been friends forever and we lived together....nope! Not even one of my friends who I would consider one of my closest friends. Hell, I set her up with her fiancé! It's so frustrating. I flew up for her bridal party! I'm not going to bother with the bachelorette party....And it's not like I'm a bad friend. I'd drop anything to help them....I feel like I'm a pretty loyal person. I think the main reason I don't want to plan a wedding is because I would t have any friends to put in the bridal party. So pathetic. Anyone else feel this way? Or am I the only loser? Thanks for hearing about my pity party.....
      |
|
| |
|
 Expert
Posts: 2492
| I'm right there with you. I work long hours on rotating shifts so I can hardly tell you what my plans are for tomorrow let alone a week from now. I do have friends, but not any close friends. Most of my friends that I have had for many years have moved on with their personal lives and we see each other only once or twice a year. I'm not the best friend, I'm really bad about calling and getting together all of the time, but most of my friends don't even put in that little bit of effort. I usually vacation with my parents. Thankfully I don't mind spending a lot of time alone and I am an introvert. It still sucks though. |
|
| |
|
Elite Veteran
Posts: 1064
Location: Idaho | I'm totally with you. I got engaged in October and I can only think of one friend to be my bridesmaid. I would consider her to be my best friend but she flakes out on me often. I think I might hire some girls to even it out! Lol |
|
| |
|
 Chicken Chick
Posts: 3562
Location: Texas | I have 1 friend. She has been my best friend since the 4th grade and I am 26 now.
The problem with friendships is me. I don't make many friends because I keep to myself, I am not outgoing, and I will talk to you if you talk to me but I get nervous and it is usually a short conversation so I don't make a fool out of myself.
Which is odd because on the internet I can go on and on. I think it is because I can go back and read what I write to make sure I am not sticking my foot in my mouth (usually) before I push submit. In person, everything just comes out wrong so I quit trying lol. If I am around someone enough to get comfortable, I lighten up and then I will talk their ear off... I usually don't get that far though. I am doomed to a small friend circle for the rest of my life.
Edited by pinx05 2013-12-11 10:48 PM
|
|
| |
|
 Expert
Posts: 2041
Location: home for the winter...what a dumb idea | Yup same here moved to CO two years ago have maybe 2 friends here they are both older ladys. I have not met anyone my age who wants to hang out with a 25 year old an her year old son. My SO works long hour out of town. We only see each other on weekends. I can't aford to rodeo or even jackpot.....it sucks... |
|
| |
|
Red Bull Agressive
Posts: 5981
Location: North Dakota |
I am exactly in the same boat as you. Between college, work, and horses, I have no time or desire to socialize. I keep in touch with my friends from home and spend time with my family. My sister and I are 5 years apart but we are best friends.
I've tried to make friends with coworkers but I am always the one putting all the effrt into trying to get together, and I'm just tired of it. |
|
| |
|
Money Eating Baggage Owner
Posts: 9586
Location: Phoenix | Glad I'm not the only one. I'm always down to meet up and hang out...but nobody else puts in the effort. That's how I lost best friend since childhood.
My grandma has a group of friends who have been friends since they were young adults. They meet up every Thursday, and take avacationtogether EVERY year. I WANT that soooo badly. Just doesn't seem to be in the cards..... |
|
| |
|
 Always Off Topic
Posts: 6382
Location: ND | now look at all the friends you guys have found... |
|
| |
|
Chicken Chick
Posts: 3562
Location: Texas | dhdqhllc - 2013-12-11 11:43 PM now look at all the friends you guys have found...
lol Give me a minute... I can mess that up quick style  |
|
| |
|
 Bit O Holic
Posts: 6448
Location: hot, humid and dry...Gulf coast East of Houston.. | I have very few people I talk to on a personal basis that I would say are friends. I keep to myself. Someone told me that I am a cyber butterfly/ reality loner.. and its somewhat true. Most people annoy the crud out of me, and I have a way of acidentally piffing people off by my bluntness... It gets mistaken for rudeness. I just cant help it sometimes, if I think it, it comes out before I have a chance to put it in a more gentle term.. |
|
| |
|
 Sunflower Seed Addict
Posts: 1416
Location: Amarillo, Texas | I am definitely with you! I moved away from home to go to school and it seems like my two very good friends don't make any effort to keep in touch. I call probably 6 times to every 1 time they call me. I know this happens when we "grow up", but I go to a very small small school with a lot of cliques due to sports and that makes the pickins slim to find some good girl friends! Although recently, I started my Mary Kay business and I'm meeting SO many neat women in my area!
Edited by BarrelBombshell 2013-12-12 12:22 AM
|
|
| |
|
 Elite Veteran
Posts: 1118
Location: The South | I'm the same way. I had friends in school, and I have friends that I ride with, but no one that I would call a 'best friend'. I've always been an introvert and I'm fine just hanging out with my husband at home. He has his hunting buddies, but he doesn't go hang out at people's houses so I guess he's an introvert too.
As for the bridesmaid situation...here's what we did...didn't have any!!! No groomsmen either. The area we stood at during our ceremony was kind of tight quarters so there was just room for us and the officiant so it worked out great. My school friends said they were so relieved to just go to a wedding and eat and be merry without having to buy a dress they'll never wear again. So that's always an option :)
Good luck with your planning, try not to get too stressed out  |
|
| |
|
Chicken Chick
Posts: 3562
Location: Texas | BarrelBombshell - 2013-12-12 12:19 AM I am definitely with you! I moved away from home to go to school and it seems like my two very good friends don't make any effort to keep in touch. I call probably 6 times to every 1 time they call me. I know this happens when we "grow up", but I go to a very small small school with a lot of cliques due to sports and (lucky me  ) there are hardly any girls on our rodeo team! It makes it very hard to make friends and I'm getting tired of being one of the guys! Although recently, I started my Mary Kay business and I'm meeting SO many neat women in my area!
I would rather hang out with the guys any day. That is what is awesome about my best friend, I am really the only girl she hangs out with... all the rest are guys. Not much drama with guys, I like it that way lol. Well a couple of drunken fights but back to being buddies when they sober up. |
|
| |
|
Sunflower Seed Addict
Posts: 1416
Location: Amarillo, Texas | pinx05 - 2013-12-11 11:21 AM BarrelBombshell - 2013-12-12 12:19 AM I am definitely with you! I moved away from home to go to school and it seems like my two very good friends don't make any effort to keep in touch. I call probably 6 times to every 1 time they call me. I know this happens when we "grow up", but I go to a very small small school with a lot of cliques due to sports and (lucky me ) there are hardly any girls on our rodeo team! It makes it very hard to make friends and I'm getting tired of being one of the guys! Although recently, I started my Mary Kay business and I'm meeting SO many neat women in my area!
Lol! That is so true, but sometimes it is nice to have at least one girl friend to talk about..... welll... girl stuff! All the boys call me "Momma Jane" because I'm always the voice of reason, keeping them in line, and cooking "family dinners"- I draw the line at doing their laundry though! |
|
| |
|
Chicken Chick
Posts: 3562
Location: Texas | BarrelBombshell - 2013-12-12 12:26 AM pinx05 - 2013-12-11 11:21 AM BarrelBombshell - 2013-12-12 12:19 AM I am definitely with you! I moved away from home to go to school and it seems like my two very good friends don't make any effort to keep in touch. I call probably 6 times to every 1 time they call me. I know this happens when we "grow up", but I go to a very small small school with a lot of cliques due to sports and (lucky me ) there are hardly any girls on our rodeo team! It makes it very hard to make friends and I'm getting tired of being one of the guys! Although recently, I started my Mary Kay business and I'm meeting SO many neat women in my area!
I just let them do what they want, then the next morning I ask "Do you think maybe you shouldn't have drank so much? Your truck wouldn't have dents in it from your head and his 4 wheeler wouldn't have gotten run over.... by your truck." Makes for fun stories later I guess. They have all grown up now and there hasn't been a fight in a long time, but we have plenty of stories! |
|
| |
|
Sunflower Seed Addict
Posts: 1416
Location: Amarillo, Texas | pinx05 - 2013-12-11 11:29 AM BarrelBombshell - 2013-12-12 12:26 AM pinx05 - 2013-12-11 11:21 AM BarrelBombshell - 2013-12-12 12:19 AM I am definitely with you! I moved away from home to go to school and it seems like my two very good friends don't make any effort to keep in touch. I call probably 6 times to every 1 time they call me. I know this happens when we "grow up", but I go to a very small small school with a lot of cliques due to sports and (lucky me ) there are hardly any girls on our rodeo team! It makes it very hard to make friends and I'm getting tired of being one of the guys! Although recently, I started my Mary Kay business and I'm meeting SO many neat women in my area!
ETA: oops sorry OP... a little OT!!
Edited by BarrelBombshell 2013-12-12 12:37 AM
|
|
| |
|
| Your best and long term friends are made in high school or college when everyone is BROKE. You will share a 6 pak, a pizza or go buy cheap burgers together. ... even a bowl of cheerios or your 10 for a dollar noodles ... lol
Once everyone graduates and gets jobs you scatter like a covey of quail ... as time passes you will find jealousy will raise its ugly head towards those that appear to be doing the best financially or made new friends in their new town or city.
I have owned real estate offices and trained lots of very nice intelligent people and found none of them knew how to be happy for someone else's success(s). I would have training classes whoop and holler, stomp their feet, clap their hands and turn to their neighbor in class and say... "I am so happy that you made that sale, closing or listing and we are all very proud of you" ..... some would mumble some would fumble and I would make them raise the volume until they sounded like they really meant it ... lol
In Houston Tx .. you could have 15-20 agents and turn them into professionals .... In Tulsa Ok .. you needed 120-150 wannabe real estate agents because each neighborhood or agent had a certain social life they adhered to of about 50-100 people ... whether it was country clubs, womens clubs, churches or work place friends that hung together.
If you look at your grandmother or others that have a number of friends ... they usually are involved with church, clubs or like the regular weekly meeting that becomes a must happen event ........ You have to do the same as grandmother to make new friends or new acquaintances you grow to like .. then invite them to meet for lunch or to go to some event together. ... etc etc ...
It used to be an after work drink ... you could call or tell anyone you knew that everyone was going to the Creek down on Greenville for happy hour and end up with 20-40 people as a group... that you barely knew ... but it gave you the chance to get to know the ones you wanted to ... and leave in an hour with phone numbers or see you next week type of thing ....... I feel sorry for you young people today on finding opportunities to meet people ...
My old friends are busy dying off or so boring with their constant details on how many pills they are taking, recent detailed surgeries, pains and aches or past and future doctor appointments ... lol ... None of us can ride the cutters, reiners, or pony horses anymore so there is no longer that belonging to a bunch of idiots having fun together anymore ...
Some of them have gotten mad at me for selling them a colt that runs out some good money for them and makes the horses they raised/bred themselves look like dinks ... I laugh and offer to sell them another one they like but end up selling them to total strangers ... then 6 months later they say they thought they had that colt bought ... .. not until you show me some money ... lol ...
I think the way people think has really changed with Political Correctness ... it seems like to me everyone spends all their time running around trying to get their feelings hurt or dissing someone that has done them no harm ...
My horses and dawgs are always happy to see me and 2 of my neighbors wave when we see each other and people I call friends live 30 miles away .. .... so guess it all fits the times we live in ...
KEEP SMILING AND BE HAPPY AND PAT YOURSELF ON THE BACK WHEN YOU NEED TO... LOL ..
Edited by BARRELHORSE USA 2013-12-12 12:54 AM
|
|
| |
|
Elite Veteran
Posts: 1034
|
I'm sure if you asked, your friend would tell you she didn't want to burden you with travel costs and that was why you aren't part if the wedding party.
Moving sucks. I have very few friends in my 'new' town I've lived in five + years. Oh well. Happy at home! |
|
| |
|
 Accident Prone
Posts: 22277
Location: 100 miles from Nowhere, AR | LindsayJordan84 - 2013-12-12 12:21 AM
I'm the same way. I had friends in school, and I have friends that I ride with, but no one that I would call a 'best friend'. I've always been an introvert and I'm fine just hanging out with my husband at home. He has his hunting buddies, but he doesn't go hang out at people's houses so I guess he's an introvert too.
Same boat. I had several good friends in school, and we're still friends, but they moved away. We all have young families and we rarely see each other--every time we try to make plans for a get-together or vacation together, something is going on with somebody's family and it falls through. I'm sort of friends with a couple of wives of my husband's friends, but we're not close, just enjoy hanging out when the guys do something. I have some pretty good horse friends, but they are all 1-2 hours away. If I want to go to a movie or out to eat with the girls, I call my mom and sister. I have nothing in common with girls around here...totally awkward conversations when we try. |
|
| |
|
 The Bird Lady
Posts: 6440
Location: The end of the Earth, SE AR | I feel your pain, but after 30 years of being this way - since college - I guess I'm used to it. I'm not easy to get to know, I have a weird sense of humor, and I'm socially awkward at least I feel that way. My best friend is my sister who is hundreds of miles away, and the total opposite of me. I have a few friends an hour or two away but we don't see each other enough to really appreciate each other. I guess it may be my fault, I am a homebody when I don't have to work. They say "to have a friend you have to be a friend" and I'm not sure I'm good at being one. Growing up, it seemed like my friends were all takers, not givers and I got burned alot by what I didn't realize were "mean girls".
I have to say that I was totally shocked and totally overjoyed and honored by a BB who I respect but rarely comunicate with who sent me a Thanksgiving message thanking me for all I do. It was a short very unexpected message that put me on an emotional high way above the clouds. I am going to take a New Years Resolution lesson from this special person and learn to reach out to others and let them know that the things they do and the way they are is special and appreciated. And then I'll crawl back into my shell LOL |
|
| |
|
Expert
Posts: 1488
| I'm the best friend I've ever had.
|
|
| |
|
Hungarian Midget Woman
Location: Midwest | DD2012 - 2013-12-12 7:28 AM I'm the best friend I've ever had.
And now, Miss Roxie Hart and Miss Velma Kelly sing a song
Of unrelenting determination and unmitigated ego |
|
| |
|
| I too done have any friends... had one in college... the only one i could consider a BEST Friend. she moved 3 states away got married and have a baby. If i'm lucky i talk to her once in 6 months. I miss her dearly. All the gals that i used to run with all quit barrel racing to raise a family. So when i go to a barrel race now i usually just keep to myself cuz i dont know a sole.
My problem with people... I can be too blunt. lol... Sometimes the filter on me is not in place and i speak my mind. Some people can handle it some can't! but on here like another poster said, i reread what i've wrote and try to make it nice lol!! |
|
| |
|
 Miss Laundry Misshap
Posts: 5271
| I have friends, but I think my best friends list is ZERO. I haven't received a phone call from anyone but my family in months. Out of 600+ friends on FB, I got around 65 Happy Birthday wishes. I did get a text from one of the people I would consider a best friend on my birthday, but it was a day late. I talk with the people I work with, but I've never been anywhere but work with them. My best friend who was my age, passed away a few years ago from a heart attack in a pool and drowned.
So yeah, I'm right there with ya.
|
|
| |
|
 Dr. Ruth
Posts: 9891
Location: Blissfully happy Giants fan!!! | I don't really have a lot of friends that I would consider my best friend but I have some pretty good close friends. Honestly, it is me and I know it. I am being really selfish with my time and I shouldn't be. I am also HORRID with posting happy birthday on facebook. As in I don't do it. I mean to and then I don't. I am pretty sure I am making that my New Year's resolution for next year...
I do know I need to make more of an effort. I am REALLY outgoing at my job. My customers see a side of me that people in my personal life don't see very often-not even my husband. It is exhausting but I have it and I need to be that person more.
just as an ETA: my husband is my best friend. But I agree with whoever that said being involved in things does help. I don't socialize at barrel races really (I am one who likes to get in, make a run, and get out and go home) but I do at church and things like that. I have made some great friends at church and I love them dearly.
Edited by sassy&tessa 2013-12-12 8:37 AM
|
|
| |
|
"Heck's Coming With Me"
Posts: 10794
Location: Kansas | Just to lighten the moment.......
" I consider myself a pretty good judge of people......that's why I don't like any of um."
Roseanne Barr
|
|
| |
|
 Undercover Amish Mafia Member
Posts: 9991
Location: Kansas | I have one friend who is a really good friend....the other is my horse trainer. Other than that I have absolutely no friends, not that I'm a bad person....just weeded out the people who take about me behind my back.
|
|
| |
|
Hungarian Midget Woman
Location: Midwest | hoofs_in_motion - 2013-12-12 8:17 AM I have one friend who is a really good friend....the other is my horse trainer. Other than that I have absolutely no friends, not that I'm a bad person....just weeded out the people who take about me behind my back.
I would have to say my husband is my best friend (I am lucky in that way), and I have a few close friends I keep in touch with. I am however horrible at calling people and scheduling things (due to the fact that we are all busy with work and/or family).
Also when you get out of you "roaring 20s" you tend to lose touch with those people you used to go out drinking with and not much else. I think that part of growing up and moving on is normal. Your priorites change. |
|
| |
|
 Three in a Bikini
Posts: 2035
| Ummm I am in the same boat.
I moved across America and now I have no one to talk to except my poor fiance who has got to be sick of me by now.
My lifelong best friend is getting married. Am I a bridesmaid? No. Obviously I am expected to fly back and forth to attend all of her events. *sigh
And now I have to ponder who to put in my bridal party. Do I include her? I want to but now my feelings are hurt and it seems unfair. Talk about Drama Rama!!! LMAO
But back to the original topic, yes I am friendless and I cant think of any clubs to join or social networks to dive into so I will continue to feel sorry for myself and peruse the interweb.
|
|
| |
|
Miss Laundry Misshap
Posts: 5271
| Someone mentioned their husband is their best friend. I can say I am lucky enough to have that. And my mom.
But as for getting away once in awhile...doesn't happen. |
|
| |
|
Accident Prone
Posts: 22277
Location: 100 miles from Nowhere, AR | rollingrfarm - 2013-12-12 7:22 AM
I feel your pain, but after 30 years of being this way - since college - I guess I'm used to it. I'm not easy to get to know, I have a weird sense of humor, and I'm socially awkward at least I feel that way. My best friend is my sister who is hundreds of miles away, and the total opposite of me. I have a few friends an hour or two away but we don't see each other enough to really appreciate each other. I guess it may be my fault, I am a homebody when I don't have to work. They say "to have a friend you have to be a friend" and I'm not sure I'm good at being one. Growing up, it seemed like my friends were all takers, not givers and I got burned alot by what I didn't realize were "mean girls".
I have to say that I was totally shocked and totally overjoyed and honored by a BB who I respect but rarely comunicate with who sent me a Thanksgiving message thanking me for all I do. It was a short very unexpected message that put me on an emotional high way above the clouds. I am going to take a New Years Resolution lesson from this special person and learn to reach out to others and let them know that the things they do and the way they are is special and appreciated. And then I'll crawl back into my shell LOL
I consider you my friend. We may not see each other much, but I know if I called and said I needed you, you'd be there. And I'd do the same. |
|
| |
|
 Ms Bling Bling Sleeze Kitty
Posts: 20904
Location: LouLouVille, OK | When I moved 13 hrs from "home" 9 yrs ago, I felt pretty alone for a while.. and the only friends I really had were the few people I worked with and one neighbor that I didn't give a choice, she was going to be my friend like it or not! lol
now, 9 yrs later, I am blessed with a wonderful group of friends... met a few at races, met some through work, some through other friends and some online (three 4 luck ;) and they are all stuck with me... I have also had a friend for some 38 years... :) I find good ones and I hang onto um... the trick is weeding out the crappers LOL
Don't worry, strike up conversatins at the farm stores, wally where ever you are... eye contact is a big thing and you never know where it will go :) |
|
| |
|
Accident Prone
Posts: 22277
Location: 100 miles from Nowhere, AR | cindyt - 2013-12-12 9:15 AMWhen I moved 13 hrs from "home" 9 yrs ago, I felt pretty alone for a while.. and the only friends I really had were the few people I worked with and one neighbor that I didn't give a choice, she was going to be my friend like it or not! lol
now, 9 yrs later, I am blessed with a wonderful group of friends... met a few at races, met some through work, some through other friends and some online (three 4 luck ;) and they are all stuck with me... I have also had a friend for some 38 years... :) I find good ones and I hang onto um... the trick is weeding out the crappers LOL
Don't worry, strike up conversatins at the farm stores, wally where ever you are... eye contact is a big thing and you never know where it will go :) I love our text conversations. You never know where those suckers are going. Hehe
And I agree about eye contact. And smile. Ask people about themselves. I have a hard time with that because I feel nosy but most people love to talk about themselves.
Edited by Three 4 Luck 2013-12-12 9:21 AM
|
|
| |
|
 Expert
Posts: 1432
Location: Never in one place long | When I was a teenage I remember my Mother telling me "If you have ONE friend you know you can count on no matter what, you have more than most people" She also said the older you get the fewer true friends you are likely to have.... at the time I thought she was absolutely crazy but now I totally see her point.... Jobs, kids and business seems to get in the way of friendships all too often and it's sad.
I still talk with my friends occasionaly but now that I live 16hrs from them and they live their lives and I mine it's hard to stay in touch. I know if I needed them Most would be there for me but things just aren't like they were when we were younger.
If you have good friends ALWAYS follow through on your commitments and be a GREAT friend to them, great friends are hard to come by, if you don't have good friends FIND THEM! Sometimes it takes a long time and you have to really get out and make them, join a book club, riding club, volunteer etc... that is how I made new friends when I moved and I have some really awesome ones!
|
|
| |
|
I Really Love Jeans
Posts: 3173
Location: North Dakota | I am the same way. I grew up in the middle of nowhere and didn't interact with other kids unless it was during school hours and that was usually a flop because kids tend to stick with the kids in the neighborhood they grow up in. So really I have never had a true solid friend only people that I know basically. At one point I did have a friendship building for about three years, she even baptised my daughter but that ended when she made a pass at trying to take my husband. I had another female show interest in friending me since I moved to Dallas but like always she was only interested in getting close to me to get to my husband. Yes I have a HOT husband, lol. Considering I am an old chicken now I simply do not interact with people anymore because after a life time of no friends I simply want to be alone now! I speak to people if they speak to me but I am not the bubbly oh my God bouncing off the wall so interested in you person! Anyway I stick to my horses and family. |
|
| |
|
 A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | DD2012 - 2013-12-12 7:28 AM I'm the best friend I've ever had.
 |
|
| |
|
A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | I am so busy with my own family and keeping up with my place, horses, my hubby is my best friend and just dont have the time to go hang out with anyone. My grand kids keeps me really busy. I do have friends, glad to see them when we meet up but thats not to offten. |
|
| |
|
Addicted to Baseball
Location: Where the stars at night are big and bright, TX | sassy&tessa - 2013-12-12 7:53 AM I don't really have a lot of friends that I would consider my best friend but I have some pretty good close friends. Honestly, it is me and I know it. I am being really selfish with my time and I shouldn't be. I am also HORRID with posting happy birthday on facebook. As in I don't do it. I mean to and then I don't. I am pretty sure I am making that my New Year's resolution for next year...
I do know I need to make more of an effort. I am REALLY outgoing at my job. My customers see a side of me that people in my personal life don't see very often-not even my husband. It is exhausting but I have it and I need to be that person more.
just as an ETA: my husband is my best friend. But I agree with whoever that said being involved in things does help. I don't socialize at barrel races really (I am one who likes to get in, make a run, and get out and go home ) but I do at church and things like that. I have made some great friends at church and I love them dearly.
I've tried and then back away from the "getting involved" stuff. I sit here and think geez I need to socialize out here, talk to more than the dogs, horses and chickens. Then when you do, you end up getting caught up in little town politics, personality politics, this group of people, that group of people, the ranchers wives who won't lift a finger and get dirty, the ranchers wives who are into the mud and the blood, neither one considers the other worth friending, big fish in a little pond, little fish in the little pond, wingnuts, whackos, the self-important, the entitled, the lower places type you don't want to really be considered a friend of, then I feel like I don't want to get into any of it further and play the social games and I make a quick retreat thankful I'm an unknown. Then I'm unknown and thought of as stuck up. You get involved and they're suspicious of you, you don't get involved and they're suspicious of you. I'm like you, I don't want to play the games, I just want to work and live my life without the social complications. lol It all just doesn't come easy for me I guess. Truth be told I'll complain of no social circle out here but I'm happier when I don't have all the personalities to try to appeal to or figure out. I've been told I'm a "come here not a from here" and it used to offend me, but more often than not after seeing how some of the minds work, I'm thinking THANK GOODNESS. lol |
|
| |
|
The Bird Lady
Posts: 6440
Location: The end of the Earth, SE AR | Three 4 Luck - 2013-12-12 8:56 AM rollingrfarm - 2013-12-12 7:22 AM I feel your pain, but after 30 years of being this way - since college - I guess I'm used to it. I'm not easy to get to know, I have a weird sense of humor, and I'm socially awkward at least I feel that way. My best friend is my sister who is hundreds of miles away, and the total opposite of me. I have a few friends an hour or two away but we don't see each other enough to really appreciate each other. I guess it may be my fault, I am a homebody when I don't have to work. They say "to have a friend you have to be a friend" and I'm not sure I'm good at being one. Growing up, it seemed like my friends were all takers, not givers and I got burned alot by what I didn't realize were "mean girls".
I have to say that I was totally shocked and totally overjoyed and honored by a BB who I respect but rarely comunicate with who sent me a Thanksgiving message thanking me for all I do. It was a short very unexpected message that put me on an emotional high way above the clouds. I am going to take a New Years Resolution lesson from this special person and learn to reach out to others and let them know that the things they do and the way they are is special and appreciated. And then I'll crawl back into my shell LOL I consider you my friend. We may not see each other much, but I know if I called and said I needed you, you'd be there. And I'd do the same.
I'm there for you in thick and thin except when you kids have the flu and are throwing up. When that happens I'll stand at the end of your drive and leave you cases of paper towels and anything else you ask for. (Clumbsy effort at lightheartedness)
Edited by rollingrfarm 2013-12-12 10:41 AM
|
|
| |
|
Extreme Veteran
Posts: 306
| Through high school I never had a set group of friends I hung out with. I usually just hung around with whatever boyfriend I had at the time and his friends. Or with the girls that were in whatever sport I was playing at the time. After high school I tried to keep up with some of the girls I was closest to but it always seemed as if I was the one putting in all the work.
But you have to remember that friends grow apart. They change. Now one of my best friends is a neighbor. I sometimes wish that I would have met her earlier in life because we get along so well.
Maybe you need to go out there and meet new people. I never use talk to anyone because I was shy. But with a little courage and help from social, such as facebook I got closer to people, and now I feel like a I have more friends then ever.
Also, if a new friend offers to do something with you or invites you along. Go with them. Even if it's inconvenient or you don't want to. If you start turning down offers they won't invite you to do anything. Which makes it difficult to start a friendship.
Put yourself out there you never know who your next best friend could be.
As for the wedding, from what I've heard being a bridesmaid can be a pain and expensive(dresses, gifts, parties, ets.). Maybe pick a Maid of Honor and stick with that. If your groom wants more groomsman, fill the rest in with family from both sides.
I've been where your at, but we choose to be side or we choose to be happy. But we are all entitled to a little pitty party. |
|
| |
|
 You get what you give
Posts: 13030
Location: Texas | That's what happens when you move away. My family moved away after high school and I lost almost all of my childhood friends. The fact is, they are going to live their life as normal… we are the ones that left. And I got tired of trying to make plans on holidays and no one following through- so guess what- Good Riddance.
I have a small group of friends now, and can always find someone to chat with at the races. You don't need A TON of friends, and you shouldn't compare yourself to those who have a bunch. I just need a few good friends and I am set. I am really close with my family as well.
I think the biggest thing with me and making friends at new places… I wasn't afraid of getting shot down or looking dumb. When I got into vet school I knew ONE person out of the 133 of us. It took lots of awkward conversation starters, and I admit anytime I would hear "horse" in someone else's conversation I would jump in and run the risk of someone accusing me of eaves dropping.. but I ended up making a ton of friends and a few really close ones in this semester. It's a risk of rejection and I was okay with looking like an idiot a time or two. |
|
| |
|
Ms Bling Bling Sleeze Kitty
Posts: 20904
Location: LouLouVille, OK | Three 4 Luck - 2013-12-12 9:17 AM cindyt - 2013-12-12 9:15 AMWhen I moved 13 hrs from "home" 9 yrs ago, I felt pretty alone for a while.. and the only friends I really had were the few people I worked with and one neighbor that I didn't give a choice, she was going to be my friend like it or not! lol
now, 9 yrs later, I am blessed with a wonderful group of friends... met a few at races, met some through work, some through other friends and some online (three 4 luck ;) and they are all stuck with me... I have also had a friend for some 38 years... :) I find good ones and I hang onto um... the trick is weeding out the crappers LOL
Don't worry, strike up conversatins at the farm stores, wally where ever you are... eye contact is a big thing and you never know where it will go :) I love our text conversations. You never know where those suckers are going. Hehe
And I agree about eye contact. And smile. Ask people about themselves. I have a hard time with that because I feel nosy but most people love to talk about themselves.
LOL... Yea... you and me... we can sure venture off the beaten path on text....LOL
and I love every min of it!
When I was at my lowest point... I listened to a preacher, and she said pick your head up, make eye contact with people and smile and you would be amazed at what a bright smile and a good morning does for people. It did just as much for me as it prob did for them (prob even more for me) but I can usually start a conversation anywhere... yes... it's a gift lol
I love to talk, but I also love my alone time... so maybe its the choice I have between the 2? Idk but I do enjoy myself no matter what.
Biggest thing I think is just being approachable... smile  |
|
| |
|
 Pork Fat is my Favorite
Posts: 3791
Location: The Oklahoma plains. | I understand how you feel. My husband is my best friend. Im pretty direct and that often offends people even though that is not my intention so I just try and remain quiet which then seems aloof. I feel I cant win so Id rather be alone as far as girlfriends. When I hear how bad they talk about the people the DO like and haul with- I can only imagine what they say about me.
Our time at home is so limited that it is very hard for us to feel the need to get away. We dont have a lot in common with many people that arent horse people. So that sums it up. |
|
| |
|
 Balance Beam and more...
Posts: 11493
Location: 31 lengths farms | I have 2 friends, friends since grade school and I'm now 48. One I do my horsey stuff with and the other I do my workout and shoe shopping with ( I give her a bad time about sucking as an Indian, terrified of horses and no sense of direction, LOL, only thing she got right was the permanent tan part...) My horse buddy friend and I dont' get to see each other all that much in reality, she lives 2 hours away and has a little girl, she is on the road to races way more than I can go but I know if I need something or to just talk she's there. My workout buddy and I had quit hanging out for awhile, she got busy with her girls in HS sports and I got busy with my mom and taking care of her and my fiancé and trying to keep our relationship fresh while living at home, working and taking care of an elder ill parent, doesn't leave time for a lot of "girl time" but when her youngest went to college I knew she would need some distractions and I needed some me time so I called her up after a 5 year absence and told her we were "getting the Band back together..." LOL!!!
Basically you dont' have to have a multitude of friends but good ones never go out of style. You can call them up just like I did Chari and you are back where you were 5 years before. We have supported each other thru my loss of 2 brothers, my mom's illness, her marriage ending and the loss of her mom here a few months ago.
I know for me my horses make my life okay more so than friends do, even my fiancé recognizes that. When life starts to get to be overwhelming he always say "you NEED to go ride" and really that is what gets me on track more so than a day of shopping with Chari or even riding with Annette, just me and my horses. |
|
| |
OT....Anyone else have ZERO friends?