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  Damn Yankee
Posts: 12390
   
Location: Somewhere between raising hell and Amazing Grace | Why it costs $23,000 plus to adopt a child in America? |
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Blessed 
Location: Here | Isn't it a shame...
Legal costs...
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 That's White "Man" to You
Posts: 5515
| Legal costs. But it is worth it...trust me! |
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Damn Yankee
Posts: 12390
Location: Somewhere between raising hell and Amazing Grace | I'm sure it's worth it if you can afford it. It's something my husband and I want to do but we just can't afford it. I'm sure we can start saving money and in a few years, but I still don't think it should cost that much. People shouldn't get rich off of helping children. |
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 Undercover Amish Mafia Member
Posts: 9991
Location: Kansas | No idea......a girl I went to high school with recently adopted because she was told she couldn't have children after trying for so many years.....finally finished the adoption process, only to find out 6 months later that she was pregnant!!!! |
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 Triple Extra-Ordinaire
Posts: 4244
Location: Okla | Consider fostering a child through your Department of Human Services. Adoption thru them isn't nearly as expensive. |
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 A Lady with Fight
Posts: 2701
Location: NC | missroselee - 2013-12-12 4:34 PM
I'm sure it's worth it if you can afford it. It's something my husband and I want to do but we just can't afford it. I'm sure we can start saving money and in a few years, but I still don't think it should cost that much. People shouldn't get rich off of helping children.
Foster. I bet you two would be great at that. Showing kids that there are good people put there. |
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 The Non Sky Diver
Posts: 9004
Location: SE Louisiana | Maybe that's why so many people go out and steal one.  |
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 "Special"
Posts: 2364
Location: in the middle of backwoods iowa | Foster parent- I have friends who have done this as they couldn't afford to adopt- they have had the same kid for 6 years now. |
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Expert
Posts: 1488
| My youngest sister and her husband are foster parents.
There is not enough money in the world to get me to what they do
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Damn Yankee
Posts: 12390
Location: Somewhere between raising hell and Amazing Grace | We looked into fostering but we would rather adopt, and it doesn't have to be an infant by no means. So it looks like back to the state we will go. We had been there once but were overwhelmed with taking care of hubbys parents. I didn't realize infant adoption was so expensive. It feels like baby selling/buying to me. |
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 Living on the edge of common sense
Posts: 24138
Location: Carpenter, WY | Seriously not having any idea why it would cost so much I had to google...seems like any time the government gets involved the cost of anything goes sky high
http://www.adoptionhelp.org/qa/why-does-it-cost-adopt
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 Accident Prone
Posts: 22277
Location: 100 miles from Nowhere, AR | I know a couple who couldn't afford private adoption and have recently become foster parents. They felt called to it and are doing an awesome job. I would have a hard time with getting attached and then having to let them go, but thank God that some people can handle that.
On private adoption, you can pour a buttload of money into legal fees and maternal support and then have the mom change her mind and you're just hung. My parents tried to adopt twice and got burned both times. It's a beautiful thing when it happens like it's supposed to, but you never know for sure until it's final.
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 A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | missroselee - 2013-12-12 3:42 PM We looked into fostering but we would rather adopt, and it doesn't have to be an infant by no means. So it looks like back to the state we will go. We had been there once but were overwhelmed with taking care of hubbys parents. I didn't realize infant adoption was so expensive. It feels like baby selling/buying to me.
You both are going to make such a great mommie and daddy when the time comes |
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That's White "Man" to You
Posts: 5515
| hoofs_in_motion - 2013-12-12 3:34 PM No idea......a girl I went to high school with recently adopted because she was told she couldn't have children after trying for so many years.....finally finished the adoption process, only to find out 6 months later that she was pregnant!!!!
Happened twice to my sister. Kids end up in the families they are supposed to be in! |
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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 494
Location: La Frontera | We just adopted our son and it cost a bit more than $23k but he's worth every cent and even more. 
As other's mentioned, fostering is an option but so is going through CPS or HHS, whatever it's called in your state. We did that too and were surprised at how quickly we could have gotten a child. I will say thought that all of the children we were considered for through CPS were older (like 6 months and up) and most were in the middle of the legal process (their birth parents' rights had not been terminated). We chose not to pursue unless the birth parents' rights had been terminated, but if you decide that's a risk you can live with then I suggest you look into that. There are MANY children who need loving, stables homes which I'm sure you can provide.
Also check out Catholic Social Services (you don't have to be catholic). Their adoption fee is income based, a certain percent of your income. In AZ they have a cap on their adoption fee at $20,000 but you have to make a lot of money to hit that. |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 980
Location: Southwest Minnesota | missroselee - 2013-12-12 3:25 PM Why it costs $23,000 plus to adopt a child in America?
My nephew and his wife are looking into adoption too. They don't make a ton of money but will be great parents. I know there is grant money through different places to help finance the adoption. Try googling Adoption Grant Money...several links come up. Good luck! The world could definitely use more good parents. |
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 Reaching for the stars....
Posts: 12704
| The true legal fees are less than $5000. And the sad part is that the birth mother sees nothing. The profit is all for the attorney or agency.
Most newborn adoptions run better than $40K, btw. |
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Damn Yankee
Posts: 12390
Location: Somewhere between raising hell and Amazing Grace | lonely va barrelxr - 2013-12-12 4:51 PM The true legal fees are less than $5000. And the sad part is that the birth mother sees nothing. The profit is all for the attorney or agency.
Most newborn adoptions run better than $40K, btw.
Yea, I found that googling, that most run well over 25k, but the average minimum is 23k |
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 Expert
Posts: 1898
| It's terrible what it costs to adopt! A friend of mine's sister, who is a wonderful parent, had the money, applied and was denied. Her husband is in the military and they move from country to county, CPS said their home life was not stable enough. They ended up adopting a beautiful little girl from China and a few years later the same adoption agency contacted them about a little boy who was born with a defect and was surrendered by the same family. They adopted him as well.
Maybe check out foreign adoption? |
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"Special"
Posts: 2364
Location: in the middle of backwoods iowa | There is a tax credit for adopting- for 2013 it is a max of $12,970. |
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Damn Yankee
Posts: 12390
Location: Somewhere between raising hell and Amazing Grace | cyount2009 - 2013-12-12 4:58 PM It's terrible what it costs to adopt! A friend of mine's sister, who is a wonderful parent, had the money, applied and was denied. Her husband is in the military and they move from country to county, CPS said their home life was not stable enough. They ended up adopting a beautiful little girl from China and a few years later the same adoption agency contacted them about a little boy who was born with a defect and was surrendered by the same family. They adopted him as well. Maybe check out foreign adoption?
It's an idea, but we have already been informed that state adoption (older kids already in foster care) would definitey be an option for us no matter how many times the military PCSs us. |
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 Expert
Posts: 1432
Location: Never in one place long | missroselee - 2013-12-12 3:25 PM
Why it costs $23,000 plus to adopt a child in America?
I can't tell you but all i know is it is WRONG!!! there should be some cost to show you're commited but that is absolutely RIDICUOUS! Especially with ALL the kids that need homes... do you mean for a baby or every child??? I thought older kids were "free" |
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Expert
Posts: 1432
Location: Never in one place long | hoofs_in_motion - 2013-12-12 3:34 PM
No idea......a girl I went to high school with recently adopted because she was told she couldn't have children after trying for so many years.....finally finished the adoption process, only to find out 6 months later that she was pregnant!!!!
HAPPENS ALL the TIME! I guess the stress to get pregnant goes away and bam you're pregnant! |
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Damn Yankee
Posts: 12390
Location: Somewhere between raising hell and Amazing Grace | DLV - 2013-12-12 5:01 PM missroselee - 2013-12-12 3:25 PM Why it costs $23,000 plus to adopt a child in America? I can't tell you but all i know is it is WRONG!!! there should be some cost to show you're commited but that is absolutely RIDICUOUS! Especially with ALL the kids that need homes... do you mean for a baby or every child??? I thought older kids were "free"
Just private infant adoption. I do believe the costs for older children through the state level is very minimal. I just emailed the lady we spoke with a few months ago to restart the process. |
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 Texas Lone Star
Posts: 5318
Location: where ever my L/Q trl is parked | I have a friend that just adopted a little girl - the baby was a premie but doing good. She went to one of the best adoption agency in Tx took them over a year to adopt- anyway she said they base the cost on the new parents to be on their salary. Her little girl cost her $46,000 that included all cost.
That's a good college education....... |
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 Money Eating Baggage Owner
Posts: 9586
Location: Phoenix | My aunt has adopted 6 kids through foster/adoption.
Thats all I can offer. Worked for her that many times.....and they aren't rich by any means. All the kids help out with their rodeo act and she has the biggest heart. |
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Expert
Posts: 1488
| Aqhaczy - 2013-12-12 6:03 PM
That's a good college education.......
where?
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Expert
Posts: 1543
Location: MI | I know a really great private lawyer, and she charged around $10,000 2ish years ago. Awesome lady, great family. However, she doesn't find available kiddos (although I'm sure that she would have some ideas).
My sister tried to adopt through the legal system a few years ago, but was heartbroken with potential adoptions 2 or 3 times and they stopped. My sister-in-law is going to start fostering in late Dec/Jan, they have gone through the classes. I think fostering is awesome, would LOVE to foster special needs kids, but I know that my husband would very quickly get outraged with the politics. I know a lot of foster care parents, it's a tough job, the system is far from perfect. |
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Damn Yankee
Posts: 12390
Location: Somewhere between raising hell and Amazing Grace | hammer_time - 2013-12-12 9:27 PM My aunt has adopted 6 kids through foster/adoption.
Thats all I can offer. Worked for her that many times.....and they aren't rich by any means. All the kids help out with their rodeo act and she has the biggest heart.
I think if we go the adoption route, we will trudge through the state system with older children. There seem to be lines of people willing to spend the money on an infant and it seems like nobody wants to take the chance on an older child. Those kids deserve a chance too.......They didn't do anything to deserve the situations they are in..... |
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 How freakish is that?
Posts: 3927
Location: Oregon | Considering the price of barrel horses, I think adopting a kid is pretty reasonable. My nephew and his wife got a brand new baby boy last year - it was amazing. |
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Damn Yankee
Posts: 12390
Location: Somewhere between raising hell and Amazing Grace | crapshooter - 2013-12-12 10:29 PM
Considering the price of barrel horses, I think adopting a kid is pretty reasonable. My nephew and his wife got a brand new baby boy last year - it was amazing.
I'm not sure i would compare buying a barrel horse to adopting a child......
I'm not saying in any ways it's not worth it. Kids are priceless. No matter how you look at it. It's just surprising to me that it costs that much..... |
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Money Eating Baggage Owner
Posts: 9586
Location: Phoenix | missroselee - 2013-12-12 7:20 PM hammer_time - 2013-12-12 9:27 PM My aunt has adopted 6 kids through foster/adoption.
Thats all I can offer. Worked for her that many times.....and they aren't rich by any means. All the kids help out with their rodeo act and she has the biggest heart. I think if we go the adoption route, we will trudge through the state system with older children. There seem to be lines of people willing to spend the money on an infant and it seems like nobody wants to take the chance on an older child. Those kids deserve a chance too.......They didn't do anything to deserve the situations they are in.....
I feel like that would be the most rewarding. Especially since you have horses. These kids blossom around horses. Which is why I want to start a barn/camp with horses for troubled youth amd delinquents. |
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Damn Yankee
Posts: 12390
Location: Somewhere between raising hell and Amazing Grace | hammer_time - 2013-12-12 10:42 PM missroselee - 2013-12-12 7:20 PM hammer_time - 2013-12-12 9:27 PM My aunt has adopted 6 kids through foster/adoption.
Thats all I can offer. Worked for her that many times.....and they aren't rich by any means. All the kids help out with their rodeo act and she has the biggest heart. I think if we go the adoption route, we will trudge through the state system with older children. There seem to be lines of people willing to spend the money on an infant and it seems like nobody wants to take the chance on an older child. Those kids deserve a chance too.......They didn't do anything to deserve the situations they are in.....
That would be awesome! If we can't adopt, I want to find a way to connect with kids in need. |
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 California Cowgirl
Posts: 14973
Location: California | It is a lot .
My parents adopted me as a newborn back in 1985 and when it was all said and done it was about $65k , aside from the uncertainty , stress and headaches the process caused!
After that they had my brother through In Vitro Fertilization...now THAT was a lot of money. |
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 Night Chat Leader
Posts: 13150
Location: Home....Smiling M Farms | That's why so many people adopt out of the country. It's still expensive but not nearly as bad as in the US. Sad as it is. |
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How freakish is that?
Posts: 3927
Location: Oregon | missroselee - 2013-12-12 7:41 PM crapshooter - 2013-12-12 10:29 PM Considering the price of barrel horses, I think adopting a kid is pretty reasonable. My nephew and his wife got a brand new baby boy last year - it was amazing. I'm not sure i would compare buying a barrel horse to adopting a child...... I'm not saying in any ways it's not worth it. Kids are priceless. No matter how you look at it. It's just surprising to me that it costs that much.....
Edited by crapshooter 2013-12-13 1:11 AM
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Industrial Srength Barrel Racer
Posts: 7264
| missroselee - 2013-12-12 9:20 PM hammer_time - 2013-12-12 9:27 PM My aunt has adopted 6 kids through foster/adoption.
Thats all I can offer. Worked for her that many times.....and they aren't rich by any means. All the kids help out with their rodeo act and she has the biggest heart. I think if we go the adoption route, we will trudge through the state system with older children. There seem to be lines of people willing to spend the money on an infant and it seems like nobody wants to take the chance on an older child. Those kids deserve a chance too.......They didn't do anything to deserve the situations they are in.....
You know what? I think I love you - this is THE sweetest thing I think I've ever read! Something will work out for you, I'm sure of that. |
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 Desert Diva
Posts: 4946
Location: The birthplace of Honest Abe | If you foster first then adopt the child usually the state pays all the costs. My husband and I have been looking into it for a few yrs now since we have no children. We were looking into an older child also. I really dont want an infant or toddler LOL.
Edited by jenijill 2013-12-13 6:02 AM
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 Bulls Eye
Posts: 6443
Location: Oklahoma | The best article I ever read was about a lady and her husband who adopted a troubled pre teen. They had horses and she said the horses turned the boy's life around.
I think you and Josh would make such a positive impact in any child's life. Dallas and I have talked about adopting a special needs child in the future. I can't wait to meet you tonight! |
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 Transplant Okie
Posts: 1206
Location: Always on call..... | missroselee - 2013-12-12 9:20 PM hammer_time - 2013-12-12 9:27 PM My aunt has adopted 6 kids through foster/adoption.
Thats all I can offer. Worked for her that many times.....and they aren't rich by any means. All the kids help out with their rodeo act and she has the biggest heart. I think if we go the adoption route, we will trudge through the state system with older children. There seem to be lines of people willing to spend the money on an infant and it seems like nobody wants to take the chance on an older child. Those kids deserve a chance too.......They didn't do anything to deserve the situations they are in.....
This is my and my husband's sentiments as well. We have talked many times about adopting an older child, I think we will eventually. Once I finish residency and all that jazz.....
BTW - I read your previous thread and want to offer sympathies for your loss. And apologies about your doctor's attitude. I do OB and miscarriages are so common that we often forget what a big deal it is for the patient. It was a good reminder to me that there is nothing "normal" or "routine" about that for the patient - that it is a tragic loss for them. |
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Veteran
Posts: 146
Location: Western Pa. | I adopted my husbands son when we got married. His mother had died. My son was 3 at the time. It cost us just as much as if he was a regular adoption. Court costs. The lawyer was a friend. No less money. I have since had 3 other children(all adults now) They thought all kids all had 3 sets of grandparents and did not understand until they were adults about all the different cousins and aunts and uncles. He is now 46. It is a shame that it is soi expensive when there are so many children that need parents. They advertise on the local TV station all the time about waiting children that need parents and a loving home4. |
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 Road Rash Expert
Posts: 5501
Location: Near San Antonio, TX | Some friends of ours got married later in life, and had a son when she was 40. During labor Angie's uterus ruptured, and baby had to be delivered via emergency c-section, and thankfully baby was ok! They wanted a second child, but the risk of her getting pregnant again was too great, so they decided to adopt. They are great parents, and both make seriously great money (she is some director/VP of our local utility company, and he is a plant engineer at the same company). So they looked into adoption. They spent $10,000 to get evaluated and on the list to adopt. Apparently you are on the list for a year? I am not sure how it works exactly. Well year was up, and they never got a "match" or whatever, so to continue another year on the list would be another $10 grand. They decided not to do it.
With all of the children out there needing loving homes, it seems like they just make it so hard for the loving home to actually get the kid! I understand that they want to make sure it is a good home, but goodness, it is so overboard! |
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Can anyone seriously explain to me.....