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Location: Shhh.. I'm hiding. | How do you let it go? It is taking over my life. It feels like its slowly killing me. I have lost my best friend to a selfish distgusting jerk. My mother chose a man who does not respect me, over her own daughter. A man who talks to me like an object, who makes me feel like nothing more than a piece of meat. I'm so angry. I can't let it go. please help |
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The Resident Destroyer of Liberal Logic
 
Location: PNW | First, I would pray.
The key to letting go of your anger is accepting that you can't change these people, their choice, or the circumstances - and just let it go.
I've never dealt with anger really, but I have had some bouts of anxiety and depression in the past. And letting go of the things I couldn't change is what works.
If your best friend chose a guy over you, let her go.
If your mom chose a guy over you, let her go. I know that that is a particularly tough thing to do, as I'm STILL struggling with this with MY mother - who has never seemed to be able to act much like a responsible adult.
When I hear of my mom making a less than wise choice, I let myself get angry or sad or whatever about it, and then I tell myself "but I can't change her or her choices - this is not my fault."
Focus on the fact that none of this is your fault, you can't change them no matter how angry you are, take a deep breath, and say a prayer asking God to help you let your anger go.
Good luck  |
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The Resident Destroyer of Liberal Logic
Location: PNW | And if your mom's boyfriend ever makes you feel uncomfortable or is inappropriate towards you - tell him to go fug himself.  |
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Go Get Em!
Posts: 13502
Location: OH. IO | Do you mind if I ak how old you are? It may help with advice from some of the folks on here |
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| svincent - 2014-01-04 5:01 PM First, I would pray. The key to letting go of your anger is accepting that you can't change these people, their choice, or the circumstances - and just let it go. I've never dealt with anger really, but I have had some bouts of anxiety and depression in the past. And letting go of the things I couldn't change is what works. If your best friend chose a guy over you, let her go. If your mom chose a guy over you, let her go. I know that that is a particularly tough thing to do, as I'm STILL struggling with this with MY mother - who has never seemed to be able to act much like a responsible adult. When I hear of my mom making a less than wise choice, I let myself get angry or sad or whatever about it, and then I tell myself "but I can't change her or her choices - this is not my fault." Focus on the fact that none of this is your fault, you can't change them no matter how angry you are, take a deep breath, and say a prayer asking God to help you let your anger go. Good luck
I agree prayer is the answer and if you can't do it with prayer by yourself, find yourself someone that is strong in the Word and have "hands laid on you" and have them help pray it out of you. This is kind of like an exorcism, I guess. My daughter was just telling me today that she witnessed a young lady that needed to get some major anger and hurt out of her get hands laid on her and the got totally sick, vomited but when it was over she felt peace. |
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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 468
Location: Crazy House | svincent - 2014-01-04 4:01 PM First, I would pray. The key to letting go of your anger is accepting that you can't change these people, their choice, or the circumstances - and just let it go. I've never dealt with anger really, but I have had some bouts of anxiety and depression in the past. And letting go of the things I couldn't change is what works. If your best friend chose a guy over you, let her go. If your mom chose a guy over you, let her go. I know that that is a particularly tough thing to do, as I'm STILL struggling with this with MY mother - who has never seemed to be able to act much like a responsible adult. When I hear of my mom making a less than wise choice, I let myself get angry or sad or whatever about it, and then I tell myself "but I can't change her or her choices - this is not my fault." Focus on the fact that none of this is your fault, you can't change them no matter how angry you are, take a deep breath, and say a prayer asking God to help you let your anger go. Good luck
I the OP sorry this is great advice!!! And thanks to posting this just what I needed to hear right now. I got to keep telling myself this is not my fault and I cant change her....
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 Underestimated Underdog
Posts: 3971
Location: Minnesota | Something that I very rarely share but I was in anger management for quit awhile and a few things that helped me was to rate my anger. 1 thru 10. Make a list. When blank happens I feel like my anger is at blank level and do that everytime your angry. You will start to see the things that make you feel like an anger level of 10 and you will see a common thread between those things and so is true for all the levels. Develope an idea for what to do before these said situations happen.
A calm box is also a good idea. Get a box and fill it with things that make you feel calm. Some examples of what I have in my calm box are peppermint candies, a rainforest CD, my baby blanket, pictures of my horses and my favorite lotion. When you are feeling angry go to your calm box and pick something from it.
You are not alone. Please feel free to PM me if youd like. You can always call me as well. :) |
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  Ms. Marine
Posts: 4626
Location: Texas | I have also struggled with my anger in the past. As others have said, pray. That's the number one thing to do. Along with that, go to the gym, go for a walk, jog, pad up and hit some stuff. |
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Expert
Posts: 2270
Location: Shhh.. I'm hiding. | Thank you so much for the replies. I do not believe in God, but perhaps this is the time for me to give it a shot. I'm really at a loss. Your replies brought tears to my eyes, thank you all so much. I am 25 years old. I also deal with depression, which is why I moved into my mothers house. But her husband says things and does things that are inapropriate. Not to the extreme, but enough to make me feel uncomfortable in my own home. I feel like a piece of meat, the feeling you would get at a bar. Moving home has not helped with my depression, it only added anger. I've been keeping these emotions bottled up inside for about 3 months now. Yesterday I exploded with full force. I said very mean things to my mother about him. I know I was wrong about how I went about it. I said things I regret saying, and some that I don't. I wish I could have gone at it another way. But things are worse than they should have ever gotten. The real issue (the way he treats me) has been swept under a mat, and all the focus is on how I reacted, but the problem has not been addressed. In turn, I was punished for speaking my mind. They shut off my phone. Yes I know, I'm 25 I should pay for my own phone. And you better bet I plan on getting my own plan, I will never give them that kind of control over me again. I am moving out asap, had been planning it for a few months now. Just have a little over a week to finish at my current job, have another job lined up and a place to live. But the anger, and the hurt is all still there. I just want to break something. I've never in my life been so mad, its taking over my life. |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 929
| Elisa2007 - 2014-01-04 7:22 PM
Thank you so much for the replies. I do not believe in God, but perhaps this is the time for me to give it a shot. I'm really at a loss. Your replies brought tears to my eyes, thank you all so much. I am 25 years old. I also deal with depression, which is why I moved into my mothers house. But her husband says things and does things that are inapropriate. Not to the extreme, but enough to make me feel uncomfortable in my own home. I feel like a piece of meat, the feeling you would get at a bar. Moving home has not helped with my depression, it only added anger. I've been keeping these emotions bottled up inside for about 3 months now. Yesterday I exploded with full force. I said very mean things to my mother about him. I know I was wrong about how I went about it. I said things I regret saying, and some that I don't. I wish I could have gone at it another way. But things are worse than they should have ever gotten. The real issue (the way he treats me) has been swept under a mat, and all the focus is on how I reacted, but the problem has not been addressed. In turn, I was punished for speaking my mind. They shut off my phone. Yes I know, I'm 25 I should pay for my own phone. And you better bet I plan on getting my own plan, I will never give them that kind of control over me again. I am moving out asap, had been planning it for a few months now. Just have a little over a week to finish at my current job, have another job lined up and a place to live. But the anger, and the hurt is all still there. I just want to break something. I've never in my life been so mad, its taking over my life.
okay...so you need to move out on your own as soon as you can. Do not look back, do not ask your parents for any help or any money no matter what you need. I have been through this same thing before, only when my step father got angry with me he tried to push me down the stairs. When I told my mother I was calling the sheriff she took his side because my "outburst" caused him to "react."
Get out of there. Live on your own and learn to live within your means. It is the most freeing experience and will help you build your self esteem and get rid of the anger and the depression. Even when you are upset that you "don't have much," remember that what you DO have is because YOU did it. Have a horse that you can't afford? Offer to clean stables or groom for someone in exchange for board. Still angry? Go running or get a punching bag. Pretty soon you will look amazing...AND you will CRAVE the workout just because it releases stress.
Not only will you learn to be your own best friend, but you won't be subjected to others telling you what you do and don't feel. From here, YOU control who is and is not allowed in your life, and to what extent.
You can also PM me if you feel like it, too. I have a lot of experience with this kind of thing, as well. |
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Expert
Posts: 2270
Location: Shhh.. I'm hiding. | Looks like I'm moving out tomorrow. I don't understand why I am so self destructive. I feel like this is all my fault. Why am I so angry? For some reason I am very un-happy with my mother. No matter what the situation is. |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 319
| At 25 you have so much life ahead of you. Get some help with your anger. God believes in you whether you believe in him or not. You are smart to move on, but don't try to do this by yourself. |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 929
| Elisa2007 - 2014-01-04 9:33 PM
Looks like I'm moving out tomorrow. I don't understand why I am so self destructive. I feel like this is all my fault. Why am I so angry? For some reason I am very un-happy with my mother. No matter what the situation is.
Because your mother (and father) is the ONE person who is supposed to love you more than themselves. Or at least that's how it's "supposed" to be. As a result, you do not love yourself because your mother has inadvertently taught you that you are unlovable. So you need to get away from her, your best friend, and ANYONE who gives you that "icky" feeling whether it be anger or sadness. If someone wants to get into it with you...just leave in the middle of their ranting. It is not good for you...and sorry, with that kind of anger you need to find those people who LOVE you, who can help you calm down and see the beautiful things in life, even if one day it is only one thing, like your horse. The next day look for 2 things, like you love your horse and you love the way he sounds when he eats, or how the smell of horse mixed with the shavings or straw bedding smells. Then the next day look for 3 things. When you get angry or depressed, go back to these things you love. This is YOUR health and YOUR life. Kick all the negative people OUT!! |
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 A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | nance - 2014-01-04 11:34 PM At 25 you have so much life ahead of you. Get some help with your anger. God believes in you whether you believe in him or not. You are smart to move on, but don't try to do this by yourself.
Its time to start believing in God, you are needing to start believing, hugs to you and I will say a prayer for you |
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| Hi I want you to know the I am praying for you. I can relate to your situation a bit and try to give you the best advice from my personal experience that I can. My mother was married to a very abusive (physical and emotional) man from the time I was 2 until I was 13 when they finally divorced. He beat me my entire childhood and adolescent life and treated me differently from my younger sister and brother which he eventually told me was because I wasn't his child... When they divorced my mom had a breakdown and eventually started drinking very heavily and meeting men at bars which was a disaster. She eventually met this weird trucker guy and took off with my younger siblings leaving me behind at 16 because the boyfriend didn't want to deal with my attitude. I was homeless, but I learned how to fend for myself. BTW the few boyfriends she had, a couple of them used to stare at my young body and make sly disgusting remarks. I was a very angry young adult and I had to learn to control it. I was always very kind and quiet, but if I was angered watch out! I learned to control my anger conversating with good people, praying of course, my horse, competing, my job, school, ect. Basically I FOCUSED on everything I enjoyed and loved. Please don't let anger and negativity ruin your life. Especially only being 25 years old. The best revenge you can have is being independent and successful. Do you go to school? I'm assuming you ride and compete. I know it's hard and I used to bottle up my emotions due to fear, and I was raised that we didn't tell anyone our business. I would highly suggest that you try and talk with family or a close friend(s) since your mother will not listen. Bottling your emotions can really affect how you progress on life, I know this from personal experience. Sorry I typed so much, but your post struck a nerve. You are welcome to send me a message if you need to talk, vent, or just need an ear. I hope things get better for you, no child should be shunned from their mother over a boyfriend. I have 2 young daughters now and they will always come first. God Bless you. |
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Expert
Posts: 2270
Location: Shhh.. I'm hiding. | I feel so worthless, an all time low. My heart has never hurt so bad. |
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Expert
Posts: 2270
Location: Shhh.. I'm hiding. | Boxingqueenb - 2014-01-05 12:12 AM Hi I want you to know the I am praying for you. I can relate to your situation a bit and try to give you the best advice from my personal experience that I can. My mother was married to a very abusive (physical and emotional) man from the time I was 2 until I was 13 when they finally divorced. He beat me my entire childhood and adolescent life and treated me differently from my younger sister and brother which he eventually told me was because I wasn't his child... When they divorced my mom had a breakdown and eventually started drinking very heavily and meeting men at bars which was a disaster. She eventually met this weird trucker guy and took off with my younger siblings leaving me behind at 16 because the boyfriend didn't want to deal with my attitude. I was homeless, but I learned how to fend for myself. BTW the few boyfriends she had, a couple of them used to stare at my young body and make sly disgusting remarks. I was a very angry young adult and I had to learn to control it. I was always very kind and quiet, but if I was angered watch out! I learned to control my anger conversating with good people, praying of course, my horse, competing, my job, school, ect. Basically I FOCUSED on everything I enjoyed and loved. Please don't let anger and negativity ruin your life. Especially only being 25 years old. The best revenge you can have is being independent and successful. Do you go to school? I'm assuming you ride and compete. I know it's hard and I used to bottle up my emotions due to fear, and I was raised that we didn't tell anyone our business. I would highly suggest that you try and talk with family or a close friend(s) since your mother will not listen. Bottling your emotions can really affect how you progress on life, I know this from personal experience. Sorry I typed so much, but your post struck a nerve. You are welcome to send me a message if you need to talk, vent, or just need an ear. I hope things get better for you, no child should be shunned from their mother over a boyfriend. I have 2 young daughters now and they will always come first. God Bless you.
That is me... My glory days were in high school, when I competed in OHSET and many other clubs and events. I was much more focused and happy. I do have a horse, but since I have moved back here I am much further away from him and the others I get to ride. I am there 0-3 days a week when I used to be there 5-7 days a week. It has really taken a toll on me.
I was also raised to not tell anyone our business. I am horrible at bottling up my emotions. I fear rejection, and I have low self esteem.
When I had the job I wanted, and the place to live and the horses, I was still depressed. I longed for my mother. I had serious issues at my job due to low self esteem. I wanted so badly to go back to school and make a better plan for my life. My mom promised to help me get emotional help, and get back into school, we never did. Now it just seems like a pipe dream to think that we could all live under one roof and get along and get back on track. I can't ask for help. But I need to find a way to have inner strength to do it by myself. And I'm extremely co-dependant. However I have been without a boyfriend since 2011, and have not wanted one at all. I have enough issues of my own that I don't need to complicate things more. |
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Expert
Posts: 2270
Location: Shhh.. I'm hiding. | Do I need to be the bigger person and appologize to him for how I reacted? Certainly feels like the right thing to do. But it also would not be coming from the heart. I'm still mad and upset. I still don't like him. and its childish, but I don't want to give in. Its hard to accept your faults. I keep asking myself if I would have felt better if I had just said "Hey, I don't like it when you do that," or "say that'. Would it have released some tension? Or would I still be a ticking time bomb around him?
edited for spelling
Edited by Elisa2007 2014-01-05 1:01 AM
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Addicted to Baseball
Location: Where the stars at night are big and bright, TX | Elisa2007 - 2014-01-05 12:34 AM I feel so worthless, an all time low. My heart has never hurt so bad.
I was just thinking of you last week and wondering how you were doing. God put you on my heart and I'm glad to see you here.
I'm sorry you're going through such a hard time. Are you no longer riding for anyone? I'm sorry to hear you feeling like this. It's never easy to see a young person struggle and feeling so alone.
Edited by Tilt The Kilt 2014-01-05 7:31 AM
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Location: Shhh.. I'm hiding. | Tilt The Kilt - 2014-01-05 7:25 AM Elisa2007 - 2014-01-05 12:34 AM I feel so worthless, an all time low. My heart has never hurt so bad.
I was just thinking of you last week and wondering how you were doing. God put you on my heart and I'm glad to see you here.
I'm sorry you're going through such a hard time. Are you no longer riding for anyone? I'm sorry to hear you feeling like this. It's never easy to see a young person struggle and feeling so alone.
Thank you for the kind words. I am still riding a couple horses here and there. But I mostly work at a restaurant. I probably wont be able to respond for a day or so. I'm moving out tonight and staying in a hotel for the night. Hope to have my phone turned on soon. |
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 Cinnamon Honey One
Posts: 6549
Location: between here and there | You have gotten some very good advice here. I have one thing to add that has worked for me. I was in a similar situation growing up with an alcoholic father that was very abusive. Choices in your life are very important right now. You must forgive those who have tormented you first and foremost. THEY are the ones that have made bad choices, and until they face that, they are the losers not choosing to stay in your life. I feel sorry for my father. He is the one that missed out on a lot. My mother made choices similar to yours after she left him. I've had a lot of forgiving to do and I know that sounds contrary to what you THINK should happen, but you need to do it. Give it to God. He alone is strong enough and understands everything about you. Then, and only then can you move forward.
Whatever angers you, controls you. You will gain so much once you forgive all for what they have done to you. God Bless you and help you to move forward in your life! YOU CAN DO IT. |
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 Ditch the Stirrups
Posts: 5369
Location: Sorrow Not! Defending against workplace bullies | I am so sorry you are having to deal with this Elisa. I have always admired you in your posts - you are so beautiful and have such a great talent with horses. I remember when you took the job on the ranch and I was so jealous and thought - " I wish I could do that!":)
You should not feel bad about what you did - it was an honest reaction and built up over time to some very disrespectful behavior. Sure looking back it may have been better in some ways to have dealt with it in a calmer fashion but you DO need to get out of that house and what's done is done.
I think my late 20's and early 30's were about the hardest time I ever had. Breaking away from family, trying to earn money, and figuring out emotions is very difficult.
Really even though I am sure you have heard it a hundred times - the best thing in my opinion is to find healthy ways to deal with stress - stay away from drinking and "exploding" - do physical activities and eat healthy. Also, and this takes a long time - if you can figure out the root cause of your anger and unhappiness and then gradually forgive those whom you are angry at - it will help you.
For now please treat yourself well and know that people (like me!) care about you. You will get through this. |
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 Wide Darn Open
Posts: 2141
| I'm going through it now too so I understand the feeling of worthlessness and loneliness and heaviness and darkness depression brings...but one thing about your post really grabbed me...when you said to didn't believe in God. Depression is too big to conquer alone. I feel like without my faith I'd have no hope at all. Even though I struggle with Satan telling me I'm no good and there's no reason for me to even be here, I keep going back to what Gods word says about me. It's the only real truth and hope we have. Please pray and just lay it all out there to
God. He knows anyway and if we'll turn to Him He'll be our help in time of need. I intend to do it over and over until I get
better. Call churches until you find one that offers counseling for free...I did that last year and am considering going back now...it was more help than I would have imagined. I'm praying for you friend!! |
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Expert
Posts: 2270
Location: Shhh.. I'm hiding. | Thank you all. I did pray last night, at least to my best ability. I don't know if there is a right or wrong way to do it. But I felt a strange cooling/relaxing sensation in my neck, and I passed out like a baby. I am back here at the house. I really have no where to go, and no money for a hotel. Last night my mom had told me her and I would stay in a hotel tonight. This morning she took it back. Said I should just leave before I get myself in trouble. He said that he had spoken to an officer and that if I'm not out, he will have me removed. So I called an officer just a moment ago, told them my problem. They will be here on my behalf the moment my mom and her husband get off their plane, and we'll be waiting for them to come home. I also bought a cheap voice recorder that I can keep in my pocket in case the police to not show up. I am scheduled to work till the 15th, and my plan was to live here until then. If things get real bad I could hopefully get my shifts covered, or I guess I'll have to quit on the spot and leave my work hanging. Its hard, I have two dogs to think about too. One who is incontinent, so no buddy has jumped the gun about letting me and the dogs couch crash. |
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 Uh....never mind
Posts: 2696
Location: Midwest Farmer's Daughter: Central Illinois | It sounds like the situation has escalated. I'm sorry you're going through this & I agree that you have gotten some good advice.
The serenity prayer is the best thing that I learned. Ever. |
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 Ms. Elvis
Posts: 9606
Location: Running barrels or watching nascar | Don't mean to steal the thread but I'm kind of going through the same thing. I just turned 30. I think it was at the beginning of the 2000's that I started to get angry off n on and unfortunately it has escalated. In 2010 I was wrongfully terminated from a job I thought could be a career if the horse thing didn't work out. I went on to another job but only held for a year and a half because of schedule conflicts. I needed a break so i took an online class and rode last year. I got really down on myself when I wasn't successful and had a few outbursts, which I am not proud of. I try to control outbursts but just can't help thinking that I'm not as good as everyone else I hav to run against. I now am looking for another job and it's tough. Hard no to be down on myself right now. Really need something to turn around. It's kind of driving me up the wall. |
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The Advice Guru
Posts: 6419
| It sounds like many unresolved issues.
Can you speak to a psychologist, a priest?
Are you on medication for the depression?
Have you spoken to you doctor about your feelings?
And is there a women's shelter you can go to? |
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A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | Elisa2007 - 2014-01-05 9:16 PM Thank you all. I did pray last night, at least to my best ability. I don't know if there is a right or wrong way to do it. But I felt a strange cooling/relaxing sensation in my neck, and I passed out like a baby. I am back here at the house. I really have no where to go, and no money for a hotel. Last night my mom had told me her and I would stay in a hotel tonight. This morning she took it back. Said I should just leave before I get myself in trouble. He said that he had spoken to an officer and that if I'm not out, he will have me removed. So I called an officer just a moment ago, told them my problem. They will be here on my behalf the moment my mom and her husband get off their plane, and we'll be waiting for them to come home. I also bought a cheap voice recorder that I can keep in my pocket in case the police to not show up. I am scheduled to work till the 15th, and my plan was to live here until then. If things get real bad I could hopefully get my shifts covered, or I guess I'll have to quit on the spot and leave my work hanging. Its hard, I have two dogs to think about too. One who is incontinent, so no buddy has jumped the gun about letting me and the dogs couch crash.
I think you needs some hugs.. Is there a way to get a motel room for a few days to stay away from them untill you get things thought out? |
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Expert
Posts: 2270
Location: Shhh.. I'm hiding. | it's really hard to accept that I have a problem. The officer showed up before they got home and gave me the 411, that they could not kick me out. So the cop left and told me to call them back if I needed anything. Parents came home, and threatened to call the cops, told them I already did and here is his card go ahead see what they have to say. Cops showed up again, I overheard them (my own mother and her husband) telling the cops I'm crazy and dangerous. They are scared to be alone with me, blah blah blah. That really hurt to hear my mom say those things and do her ****dest to get me thrown in jail. After all that mom and I finally got to talk. We talked, we cried, we screamed. It was so hard to not antagonise or fight. She kept calling me crazy and saying things that made my temperature boil. But I kept it together. She also had a lot of valid things to say. I'm certainly not innocent and I know it. I don't know how to express myself before it's too late, like it was in this situation. I'm calling around tomorrow to find a counselor, and my mom will go with me, and eventually her husband will go too. God knows we all could use some help. I'm really confused about how I feel, how I should feel, what's right, what's wrong. Up and down, up and down, round and round, here we go.. |
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Expert
Posts: 2270
Location: Shhh.. I'm hiding. | I keep going over what my mom said to me. She kept antagonizing me. It was so hard not to boil over. I tried so hard. I kept telling her "stop right there. Don't say that, that doesn't help." Then I would lose it and argue back. I really hope a counselor can help us have much healthier conversations, on both ends. Thank you all so much for listening. It's so nice to be able to vent, and get help from you all. I've gone back and re-read everything several times. And it has truly helped me. You guys are wonderful. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. |
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Expert
Posts: 1543
Location: MI | I'm praying for you, it sounds like you are in a really rough position. Learning to handle my anger was one of the the hardest things (and still is) I did, and I only did it with a lot of time and a lot of prayer and reading the Bible. There is no right or wrong way to pray, talking to God is all it is, and he listens even more I think when we are humble and stumbling over our words. :) Just take your time, remember to BREATH and relax. A lot of time I take 3-5 seconds to think and breath before I talk now when I'm upset. It upsets my husband when he is angry, but if I talk before I think, I say things I don't want to. Keep working at it girl, you can do it. |
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 Expert
Posts: 2135
Location: Somewhere else | Due to circumstances beyond my control I had to walk away from the one thing I loved most in the world. It has literally taken me 5 years to work thru it....still not completely there, but I'm starting back doing what I love most and just pray that certain people have enough sense to stay away from me & my family. It's still real easy for that switch to flip and go off on somebody, but I'm doing alot better. Good Luck & yes pray, pray , pray....... |
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Addicted to Baseball
Location: Where the stars at night are big and bright, TX | I know you said you are having issues with moving out but it sounds like you need to. You need to work on your own life and set the mom thing aside. She sounds like she's got her own issues going on and neither of you are dealing with your own lives. One thing at a time, your life first. Staying in that chaos, emotion and mixed messages is making your current situation and outlook worse. IMHO Don't try to fix her, don't try to fix each other. She's got motivations outside of you, you need to find yourself outside and separate of her.  |
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Member
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| I hope you keep in touch on how you're doing. :) Try and get your independence going. I think you will feel much better. |
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Expert
Posts: 2270
Location: Shhh.. I'm hiding. | So I am officially moved out, and I have an appointment with a therapist next week. Feeling some relief. I got to go see my horse tonight too. I now live 15 minutes from him, yay! My dad came all the way to Seattle from Portland to help me move. It wad so nice to see him, I love him so much. |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 319
| That's great. Keep praying and keep working on you. You can't fix your mom or anyone really except yourself. I know this is a hard, hard time for you...but you're doing the right things. You have alot of people thinking and praying for you. |
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Member
Posts: 9
| Yey!!!! Great for you!! It's good to hear your father came through and helped you out. You are on a positive road to change. Keep that positivity going! I wish you nothing but the best. God Bless. |
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 The Vaccinator
Posts: 3810
Location: Slipping down the slope of old age. Boo hoo. | Wishing you the very best. So happy to read you have removed yourself from the home and have plans to work with a counselor. All sound like super positive moves for you. Keep yourself pointed forward with your plan -- work with you counselor. Know that you are not the only person who has had to work through issues with family. |
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Expert
Posts: 2270
Location: Shhh.. I'm hiding. | Thank you all for the kind words and support. It is appreciated more than you know. I felt so great when I got out of bed this morning. I can't wait to meet my therapist. I'm incredibly relieved to be away from all the negativity. I'm starting to realize I am the way I am because of the examples my mother has led. I thought about how she treats her husband's children, and thought wow is that what I look like when I'm mad. Sure is. I don't want to make others feel the way she makes my litttle sisters feel. I feel bad for them and hope they don't turn out like me.Sorry for errors, I'm posting from my phone. New house doesn't have internet. |
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The Advice Guru
Posts: 6419
| Elisa2007 - 2014-01-07 3:40 PM
Thank you all for the kind words and support. It is appreciated more than you know. I felt so great when I got out of bed this morning. I can't wait to meet my therapist. I'm incredibly relieved to be away from all the negativity. I'm starting to realize I am the way I am because of the examples my mother has led. I thought about how she treats her husband's children, and thought wow is that what I look like when I'm mad. Sure is. I don't want to make others feel the way she makes my litttle sisters feel. I feel bad for them and hope they don't turn out like me.Sorry for errors, I'm posting from my phone. New house doesn't have internet.
From reading this post I want to say.
DO NOT think less of your self!
Think about the positives. I would suggest writing on paper all the good things people say about you and when you are feeling down read them.
Start exercising if you are not already, this will help in a positive way.
Good luck with your therapist
And remember you are a wonderful person |
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A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | Elisa2007 - 2014-01-07 3:40 PM Thank you all for the kind words and support. It is appreciated more than you know. I felt so great when I got out of bed this morning. I can't wait to meet my therapist. I'm incredibly relieved to be away from all the negativity. I'm starting to realize I am the way I am because of the examples my mother has led. I thought about how she treats her husband's children, and thought wow is that what I look like when I'm mad. Sure is. I don't want to make others feel the way she makes my litttle sisters feel. I feel bad for them and hope they don't turn out like me.Sorry for errors, I'm posting from my phone. New house doesn't have internet.
So glad to see that you are feeling so much better with your self. Now all you can do it keep moving foreward with your life and dont let anybody bring you down ever again, hugs to you |
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Veteran
Posts: 161
Location: Right Where I'm Meant To Be :) | Glad you noticed your anger and glad you are taking steps to better yourself. I missed a few posts on here, but if it hasn't been said already, please continue forward on your plan to learn about God and salvation. It does not make life a bunch of roses, but it is eternal peace. There are many folks on here that can tell you how to start. God's grace is amazing !!!! |
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 Sexy Bee Yacht
Posts: 5849
Location: WA | Elisa, I sent you a PM! |
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Anger