angelica - 2014-01-14 2:33 PM The schools now have no clue how to teach children! A kid who is known to be a bully kept pushing my son and stepping on his shoes on purpose, my son got tired of it and pushed him back. Guess what my son got in trouble for defending himself. I told the principal directly that if any kid picks on my child he has the right to defend himself. She was mumbling and chewing her words!

pinx05 - 2014-01-14 2:56 PM My son gets picked on, and he is also the one that comes running to the defense of anyone that is getting picked on, even if that means he may get his butt whooped in the process... he doesn't really seem to care. 



I got a call one day this school year from the principle. My son was in trouble because "A boy was getting picked on at recess (basically on the ground getting beat up), and (my son) pulled the kid off of him which resulted in a fight." Apparently a teacher witnessed the whole thing. They tried to put my kid in ISS for fighting. My question to them was "If the teacher that told you this story saw the kid getting picked on, why is my son the one that stopped it and not the teacher? And why is he in trouble for defending someone that wasn't able to defend themselves?" They really didn't have an answer other then he shouldn't have been fighting.



 

Thistle2011 - 2014-01-14 3:07 PM for the sake of a different point of view: I am the only one in my family that is not a teacher. not saying the teacher is right she very well could be over reacting. I was a child that would do my work...but I would only do it standing... never sitting and I did have a teacher blow things out of proportion about this habit. Anyway teachers have ridiculously high expectations and close to no pay. they teach because they love the children (or at least it starts that way) years ago these expectations for high testing results were not in place and teachers could use there god given skills to help children of many learning styles achieve knowledge (teachers have a very long list of things they are no longer allowed to use as tools in the class room or out of the class room ) so now you have teachers that MUST use a particular teaching style and cram a TON of knowledge into young minds. Along with this parents are more busy than ever both parents working 40+ hours a week and children are not followed up on as much at home is not uncommon. Thus all the responsibility of learning is put on the teachers shoulders when parents used to take a part in this. I would be excited to have a conference instead of getting defensive you should embrace your teacher still has the drive to want to understand you child and come up with way to maybe make things more interesting for him. Teachers and parents need to work together communication is the only way!

ksjackofalltrades - 2014-01-14 3:28 PM I too loved to read but there is a time and a place for it.  When someone tells you to do something and you ignore it, then that is a problem.  What if a child was ignoring a teacher and it caused them harm?  Like walking out in front of a car or something.  Getting in the habit of ignoring adults can be very dangerous and is not something I would want my child doing.   

ksjackofalltrades - 2014-01-14 3:28 PM

I too loved to read but there is a time and a place for it.  When someone tells you to do something and you ignore it, then that is a problem.  What if a child was ignoring a teacher and it caused them harm?  Like walking out in front of a car or something.  Getting in the habit of ignoring adults can be very dangerous and is not something I would want my child doing.   

Three 4 Luck - 2014-01-14 4:58 PM Speaking for myself, it's not ignoring it's that I don't hear. When I'm visually engaged, I can tune everything out without trying. This is good and bad. And I agree, he needs to learn to do better. Not going to dispute that. But it's not worth getting mad at him or overly concerned about IMO--like I said, get after his ass and move on. But that's why I posted, to get other opinions.

Just Bring It - 2014-01-14 2:57 PM

This reminds of the kid Brick from the TV show "In The Middle"....lol. His dad is always trying to get him to get his head out of his books and experience the real world. 

I guess I see the teacher's point of view. Her job is to teach a certain subject and it can be very frustrating when your students are not paying attention. Not only does she have to try to get your kid to pay attention but in doing so she is disrupting the whole classroom by having to stop and get him to pay attention. What if she is teaching something and then goes around asking the students questions and when she gets to your child who is deep into his book that she has to not only ask him more than once but  how can she expect him to have any knowledgeable answer if he was not paying attention. Of course reading is a good thing but it has its place. I find it disrespectful for a child to be doing something else while the teacher is trying to teach. I don't think reading a book is any different than playing a video game in class if it has nothing to do with what the teacher is trying to teach.

I put on a few small clinics and I find it very frustrating when some of the kids are not paying attention because I know when it comes to asking them all to do what I was explaining they will not have a clue and I will have to spend extra time with them. But they are paying me to learn what I have to say so either they listen and actually learn or they waste their money...their choice.

Go have the conference and listen to what the teacher has to say. Try to see her point of view. Reading is a good thing and should not be discouraged when done at an appropriate time. I can't imagine your place of work would be fine with you reading a book while in a business conference so I don't see a classroom as being much different. He is there to learn what is being taught. That is his job and while it may be hard to be peeled away from his book during that time he will need to learn to do that. It will show respect to his teacher and classmates.

Three 4 Luck - 2014-01-14 4:47 PM  This particular teacher has a habit of taking things personally and getting emotional.  We've had a couple of meetings with her before this over minor issues, including one involving the entire class.  IMO, she is better suited to K or 1st instead of 3rd and 4th grade science/social studies/Bible.  And I'm totally backing her up to him--he has to respect her and learn to deal with the real world. I'm not saying he shouldn't get in trouble. But she wrote me a very detailed note, and when I questioned him, everything matched except he said he didn't ignore her on purpose. Which I believe. Not only because I know him (and myself!) but because he was in tears over being misunderstood.  He's a mischievous little turd--he's used to getting in trouble and deserving it.  But I can't understand why THIS is a big deal. His other teacher is more of a no-nonsense type and she does fine with him. She handles him without getting her panties in a wad. LOL.  I'm just baffled that she's upset and apparently expects me to be upset too. 

WYOracer - 2014-01-14 6:49 PM I agree a sit down with the teacher may shed some light on the other side.  There's three sides to every story :) I think teaching has gotten to be a HARD task with what teachers are allowed to do discipline wise and makes it very hard to keep control over some classrooms.

Thistle2011 - 2014-01-14 3:07 PM

for the sake of a different point of view: I am the only one in my family that is not a teacher. not saying the teacher is right she very well could be over reacting. I was a child that would do my work...but I would only do it standing... never sitting and I did have a teacher blow things out of proportion about this habit. Anyway teachers have ridiculously high expectations and close to no pay. they teach because they love the children (or at least it starts that way) years ago these expectations for high testing results were not in place and teachers could use there god given skills to help children of many learning styles achieve knowledge (teachers have a very long list of things they are no longer allowed to use as tools in the class room or out of the class room ) so now you have teachers that MUST use a particular teaching style and cram a TON of knowledge into young minds. Along with this parents are more busy than ever both parents working 40+ hours a week and children are not followed up on as much at home is not uncommon. Thus all the responsibility of learning is put on the teachers shoulders when parents used to take a part in this. I would be excited to have a conference instead of getting defensive you should embrace your teacher still has the drive to want to understand you child and come up with way to maybe make things more interesting for him. Teachers and parents need to work together communication is the only way!

Honeymoney - 2014-01-14 10:12 PM I have had to ask students to stop reading in class because it is science NOT reading. I usually tell them that it makes my heart hurt to ask them to stop reading but they do need to understand the science as TX has tests over this subject matter. Usually when they understand that I actually hate to ask them to stop reading they do understand. Pick your battles!!!! I teach in a substance abuse unit now and most of the kids are straight out of jail. Most cannot read. We have a reading period every day and I have all of them reading right now. One kid was so proud of himself because he had never finished a book in his life. (a fairly thick Harlan Coben book) I have to say that these kids are some of my greatest successes in 38 years of teaching. Again, you pick your battles. Go into the conference with a positive attitude. Listen to what they have to say and tell them that you understand that there are other subjects besides reading and your son understands the importance of all classes now and that he has to pay attention. You might explain that he gets so wrapped up in the book that he actually does not hear someone speaking to him--I do that too---that he is NOT trying to ignore the teacher, just enjoying his book. Remember--go to listen first, then respond. Sorry this is long.

sodapop - 2014-01-15 8:56 PM

Since you said teaching "Bible", I assume this is a private religious school.  I am not that familiar with the behavior policies of Christian schools, but I am thinking they would be more strict than a public school.  So....... when your name is called, you better respond immediately and pay attention at all times.  I can only assume one of the numerous reasons someone would pay to send a child to a private Christian school is because of extremely high behavior expections of students and a no tolerance policy for anything...pay attention, follow all the rules, and mind your manners...... However, when at a field trip a few years ago where several other schools attended, the local private Christian school teachers sat far away from their students and didn't manage their behavior while their students pushed the public school students out of the way and talked rudely to us all. So I could be wrong on the expectations. LOL

rollingrfarm - 2014-01-14 1:19 PM

Wow, its good to hear how many book fanatics are barrel racers and horse people. 

A teacher told me in the 4th grade that there was no way I could have read the  in-class reading assignment so fast.  I said I did and she started questioning me in front of the other kids still reading to try to prove I didn't know and hadn't read the reading assignment.  I was singled out for this impromptu oral quiz and it was very embarrassing.  It was even more embarrassing when the teacher becaem visibly angry when I answered the questions correctly proving that I did read the material.

So from 4th grade to 50 something, you can see how an experience like the one you son just has can stick with a person the rest of their life.   I would suggest a meeting with you and Wes and the teacher and principal.  Not just you and teacher because I don't want to have to bail you out of jail. 

RLB - 2014-01-14 2:51 PM

Are we the same person? Well obviously not, since I only have furry 'kids'...

I hid books behind books. I went to friends' houses to play & read books in the corner. I read books over & over & over & still do.

My mom got a phone call from my kindergarden student teacher. She said that I had refused to read a book she handed out to the class & when she asked me why, I said that I already knew what happened in it. She quizzed me & I answered all of the questions correctly, which didn't make sense to her since this was a book only available to schools, not individuals. She was stumped as to how I could have 'cheated' in reading in kindergarden. Turns out my Godmother (a teacher) had given me that book & I had read it so many times I got tired of it.

I would meet with the teacher & principal. There might be an underlying issue that you aren't aware of or it might be that the teacher is really just throwing a fit for nothing. You won't know unless you go & either way you'll come out the winner because if it's a legit concern you'll be able to work with her & your son but if it's bogus it'll be obvious to you & the principal both.
 

BARRELHORSE USA - 2014-01-16 1:26 AM ***************************************************************** And pay close attention to what is in his school file RIGHT NOW .... AND WHAT THEY MAY ENTER INTO IT WITHOUT YOUR KNOWLEDGE .. I would be inclined to have a cell phone or something in a purse sitting on the table or desk and record the whole thing for future use if needed!!

angelica - 2014-01-16 8:27 AM I can't believe they still use a paddle at your school. If my child came home and said he was paddled I would be in jail because I would go to the school and do the same to whoever decided they had the right to touch my child!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

angelica - 2014-01-16 8:27 AM I can't believe they still use a paddle at your school. If my child came home and said he was paddled I would be in jail because I would go to the school and do the same to whoever decided they had the right to touch my child!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

angelica - 2014-01-16 8:27 AM

I can't believe they still use a paddle at your school. If my child came home and said he was paddled I would be in jail because I would go to the school and do the same to whoever decided they had the right to touch my child!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

FlyingJT - 2014-01-16 10:18 AM The school my kids go to still paddle. You sign a consent form at the beginning of the year.

runs4fun - 2014-01-16 9:19 AM I was telling this story to a teacher friend of mine and she said, "Reading, is entertainment for many, including myself.  Having said that, many kids prefer to "play" for entertainment, "visit" for entertainment or  "doodle" on their paper for entertainment or because they are bored with what I'm teaching  I cannot chastize one child for his choice of entertainment while he ignores what's going on in class and allow it from another regardless of what it is....when I say attention up front, that's what I expect.  It's not really a problem,though, unless it's habitual, then we have a parent/teacher conference."   Apparently, it is not that uncommon of an occurence. I guess she had a point in that kids can get "caught up" in all kinds of things.  I know I certainly can and sometimes it's just my own private thoughts that diverts my attention which tended to happen a lot when I was in school (daydreaming), and, of course, I enjoyed visiting!  I liked to read but usually did most of that at home if it were library books etc.

crapshooter - 2014-01-16 11:56 AM

I would definitely say not looking at whoever is talking to you is a learned habit, not genetic.  The cycle can be broken.   You don't have to look people in the face, if you look directly below their face it is less annoying and more respectful to the speaker and not as hard on the listener if this is a problem.  A lot of people don't like to make eye contact but there are ways to fake it. 

Three 4 Luck - 2014-01-16 10:06 AM I dunno, my dad physically can't do it. His eyes start twitching back and forth. A lot of his mother's family are the same way. I can make eye contact when meeting or greeting or reaming someone out, but I can't hold it in a peaceful way. I get what you're saying about looking in the vicinity of the person tho, and that's what I do in a personal conversation. But not in a lecture or meeting type atmosphere.

crapshooter - 2014-01-16 12:26 PM where did the post about the treasure trove chest go?  lol  I was quoting it and laughing and it disappeared! 

crapshooter - 2014-01-16 12:30 PM


You can probably break this cycle though with your kid.  Learned behavior is fascinating.  Unless it's like asbergers or something I can't imagine it can't be changed. 

I am picturing you as a head bobbing twitchy anti social person reading a book under the table.  Now c'mon!  LOL     

bocephus's mama - 2014-01-14 3:36 PM Maybe you don't know her side. If it wasn't that big of a deal, she wouldn't be having a conference. Once you get there, if she lays things out to you exactly as you said, THEN make a big deal but unless you've actually talked with her at this point, I'd hear her out.  

Three 4 Luck - 2014-01-16 10:40 AM  That brings another issue to mind.  I rarely would look at teachers during a lecture.  I would look down, stare off into space, doodle on paper...totally appear that I wasn't paying attention.  But that's how I listened because I'm more of a visual learner and looking at faces is distracting to me.  Once they figured me out, it was fine, but until they got to know me, I would get fussed at a lot.  It still bothers my husband sometimes that I appear to not be listening to him when I'm actually listening the hardest.  LOL My poor boy child is the same way.  Bless him, he inherited some difficult genetics. 

Three 4 Luck - 2014-01-16 2:30 PM  I don't lack the ability. I find it distracting to hold it and can listen better if I'm not visually focused on anything.