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 Regular
Posts: 92
| So, almost 2 weeks ago I was riding with a very good friend, and she had a horrible, terrible accident when her horse bucked her off. She lost consciousness and suffered multiple broken bones and spent a week in ICU. Thank God she made it, as I didn't think she was going to survive the impact ( she was thrown headfirst into the metal structure of the cattle shutes.)
Since that day, I have not been able to ride my mare without a death grip on the saddle horn. And my mare has never given me any reason to be worried - its all in my head. I feel like every little jig or flinch she makes is going to turn into a bucking wreck, and im going to get badly hurt. And she's a good mare. I can ride my gelding no problem, without being anxious. but Im now scared to ride my mare.. Maybe because I was on her while watching my dear friend get so badly injured ? I have never had this mental block before, never been nervous on a horse. Our season begins in April, and I have decided to send my mare to be finished on the pattern ( she needs speed added, we've only been doing slow work, and slow loping). The trainer is also going to help me with twice weekly lessons, to help me gain my confidence back. This whole mental thing has really upset me, I have never felt this way before and the accident didn't even happen to me, so why am I "stuck" like this ??? If I cant feel like my old self again and get back on the pattern , im afraid im going to throw in the towel :( |
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Cold hands and Warm Heart
  
Location: oklahoma | Give it time and keep riding, however short of a time it is and work your way back up. Time.
We have a natural survival instinct and yours kicked in, and sometimes things get bigger in our minds, especially since you saw her get hurt. |
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 Dog Resuce Agent
Posts: 3459
Location: southeast Texas | If, you still want to ride this horse, baby steps. If you can, have someone ride your horse before you do. Watch this person put your horse thru its paces. Have a positive mental image.
When you get on have a goal that you want to accomplish for that ride.
Ex, walk five times in a medium large circle one way, then five times the other. Next ride, add some circle eights. Next set up a pole pattern, you get the idea. Each ride add a LITTLE extra to your ride. Research western riding patterns. Break it down and add those together every ride till you can go thru the pattern at a walk. With your confidence soaring, TROT at different places in your pattern. Last but not least work up to cantering! |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 319
| I think we have to forget how dangerous it can be in order to ride at all, much less run. You had a huge, unforgettable reminder. I'm glad your friend is out of ICU. I'm seriously considering a helmet this year. |
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 Reaching for the stars....
Posts: 12704
| roxieannie - 2014-01-28 6:49 PM If, you still want to ride this horse, baby steps. If you can, have someone ride your horse before you do. Watch this person put your horse thru its paces. Have a positive mental image.
When you get on have a goal that you want to accomplish for that ride.
Ex, walk five times in a medium large circle one way, then five times the other. Next ride, add some circle eights. Next set up a pole pattern, you get the idea. Each ride add a LITTLE extra to your ride. Research western riding patterns. Break it down and add those together every ride till you can go thru the pattern at a walk. With your confidence soaring, TROT at different places in your pattern. Last but not least work up to cantering!
This is what I've done when one of my youngsters has given me the scares. Do a little, very little if necessary, and then build back up. I also do put my younger friend on my guys first too sometimes if I am not sure. We even put one filly on the longe line with me riding for confidence. Just keep moving forward a little at a time and next thing you know the fear will recede and you'll be back to normal riding!
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 Expert
Posts: 2154
Location: USA | I had a bad wreck on my gelding several years ago. Gave me the worst case of whiplash my chiro had ever seen. I didn't ride for awhile and then only rode my mare. I sent him to back to the trainers for more work. He really didn't need it at the time cause it was just a freak thing but it made me feel better. Still took me awhile to gain confidence on him. Baby steps and more baby steps. Now I have full confidence in him and he's my main mount. Since she didn't do anything, I think you will find you gain your confidence in her faster than I did my gelding. But just take it step by step as you feel comfortable. |
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 Total Germophobe
Posts: 6437
Location: Montana | Really, it's okay to feel that way even just watching an accident like that happen. Here's a hug, I think you need one. 
I had a riding accident where I ended up with a severe cut on my head and fortunately nothing worse (my head hit the ground first when I landed). It takes a while for the human body to heal, so why shouldn't it take a while for us humans to heal emotionally and mentally as well? It took me a while to get over the emotional and mental part, and I still have some overcoming to do I'm sure.
Just because you weren't actually physically involved doesn't mean you don't have any emotional or mental wounds that need healing. So here's a hug...get back up on that horse, and don't be afraid to have a death grip on the saddle horn for a while. And maybe get a helmet if you don't have one...I've ridden with one ever since I had my accident. It will get better.  |
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 Expert
Posts: 1432
Location: Never in one place long | I've gone through this very same thing... only it was me, I didn't even get hurt that bad but fell off hard, sprained my ankle and almost ran into a gate.. I heard my neck snap and it scared the heck out of me... it literally took me a YEAR to get all my confidence back.. I cried that I just couldn't do it anymore but little by little I DID do it and have gained my confidence back. Just take it slow and give it time. It is only normal to be scared after that happened. Ride in safe places, wear a helmet and only on very safe horses. Do some fun events...trail riding, pleasure etc to just have fun with your horse. Good luck, I know you'll do it! |
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Regular
Posts: 92
| Thank you all for the kind words & hugs - I don't feel so alone anymore ..
It's really got me upset, to the point of tears, to feel like I'm this "stuck". I have put so much time & energy into this mare, I got her last June and have done all the pattern work & slow work myself - under the guidance of a trainer who's also great friend - and I was just going to begin adding speed to her training regime, hoping to run her when our NBHA season starts in April. I'm feeling all sorts of emotions , from fear to anger to throw in the towel to just buck up an get over it. I did order a helmet, should be here this weekend. And knowing that someone else will be furthering her training *sorta* makes me feel a bit better, I guess. She's not taking her till April 1st, so in the meantime I will take baby steps and ride short rides in the arena, w/t and stuff like that.
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 "Hottie"
Posts: 1373
Location: Okemah,OK | I know exactly how you feel. I've been bucked off twice in the last year and one was pretty dang rough. I handled that one okay but the second one changed me and I'm just now starting to shake it off. I've got two of the nicest horses I've ever owned (neither of them are the ones that threw me) just didn't have the confidence to ride anymore. I've been in tears over it. Ridden all my life and never had this feeling, like any second one is gonna just bust into for no reason. The strange part is that I'm not scared to run a barrel pattern, it's the exercising at home or warming up at a race that spooks me! Work has been overwhelming the last six months so honestly, I just turned mine out. Did chores everyday and spent time with them but very little riding. Even saddled one time and then just couldn't get on. My husband was gonna ride his colt and I just knew if he acted squirrelly, mine would too and I'd have a wreck. Lately I've gotten back on a little at a time. Actually rode in the round pen some just for confidence. Last weekend, I really enjoyed my rides and started to feel like myself again. Hopefully it continues to improve for you and me both! |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 980
Location: Southwest Minnesota | I don't know if this would help you or not. But, when my daughter got dumped and was scared to ride her gelding. I put a helmet on her and put her horse on a lunge line. We did lots of slow work to rebuild her confidence. I don't know if you have someone to help you or not but would maybe be worth a shot. Good luck! |
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 I Am Always Right
Posts: 4264
Location: stray dump capital of the world | I got dumped in April and broke several bones. I am still fighting issues resulting from the bones broken in my pelvis, sacrum and coccyx and may be looking at back surgery this summer. Needless to say, I was absolutely terrified to get on a horse again. Even my steady steeds terrified me. I took baby steps and I mean teeny tiny baby steps. I have been working with a trainer with the one that threw me. I am amazed at how much change I see in him. He used to be so flippen spooky, but he is really changing and I see him trying. My confidence is coming back with him, but more importantly, I'm not afraid to ride my others at all. My balance leaves a lot to be desired due to numbness in my left leg, but I realized how much I have missed my horses. It all comes in time. I am not fully comfortable on the horse that threw me, but it is coming.
Take your time and start small. Sending you some prayers...
Edited by sophiebelle 2014-01-28 11:40 PM
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"Heck's Coming With Me"
Posts: 10794
Location: Kansas | Just goes to show you that you should be cautious what you get on, especially as you get older.
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| I had a wreck on my mare a few months ago during a run, and I’m having a heck of a time getting back to where I was confidence wise. I have ran her once since but I’m just not feeling it like I was before. She recently came up with a limp and has had some time off. Now that she’s better I have been slowly bringing her back, not only for her but for me also. I literally have not gone out of a trot with her since starting to ride her again. I am just plain scared. Granted, she is not the most friendly mare ever, she can be quite the you know what. She is cold backed and will test you and buck while warming up...this just makes things 10x's worse! So, I kinda know what you’re going through. I think all you can do is take your time, but the longer you go without riding, the worse I believe it will get. I got right back on her after our accident and really didn’t have a problem, but as soon as I wasn’t able to ride her for a while, my mind started playing tricks on me and I started to 'think' too much and now I am 'stuck', like you said. & of course, I ride my gelding just fine.
Best of luck to you and I hope you can pull through it! It's not easy, but if you have the will and the want, you can do it! & prayers to your friend, glad she made it through.
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 602
| I got in an accident last june. My horse run up the fence and I hit the concrete wall. My confidence was super low after that. The only way I got passed it was to stop racing for 2 months and did alot of slow work. Come to find out his hocks were hurting and that was his reaction to the pain. Our first race back.... I was super nervous but he proved to me that he wasnt going to run up the fence again. I was just like you, I was hanging on to my horn for the longest time. Give it time. |
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 Lady Di
Posts: 21556
Location: Oklahoma | I got bucked off HARD in 2010 and I sold everything and quit running barrels. It lasted about 3 months. I was totally miserable and missed my horses and my friends. Luckily, I had one horse that was hurt, so he didn't get sold, and he was one I totally trusted. When I got back on him, I was terrified, but he's such a steady old soul, he gave me some confidence back. However, the first barrel race I went to I was 5 SECONDS off the winning time. Not tenths, SECONDS. I went back to the trailer and cried. Everyone was so supportive of me, and I gradually improved as I kept riding. I bought a Magic Seat and it did wonders for my confidence. It won't hold you on, but it will give you a little "stick" to get back in the saddle if your horse jumps or something like that. It gave me the confidence to go faster. I also bought Barbra Schulte's book "The Gift" and listened to CD's of it on my way to races. It REALLY helped my mental confidence a lot. Buy it and read it, if at all possible. It's all about building confidence. Personally, I would recommend NOT riding the horse you are unsure of until you get your confidence back. Stay on the geldings for awhile because if you are nervous on the mare, it will make her nervous, and that will not help your confidence. This CAN be overcome, but you will have to work on it. |
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 Texas Taco
Posts: 7499
Location: Bandera, TX | I got bucked off two weeks ago. While I was very lucky, I stil have a huge painful hematoma on my hip/thigh... Haven't ridden since as it still hurts too much.
The mare who bucked me off is a bit of a turd. We have fought for many years and so far I won. She has been doing very well over the past few months and I was starting to trust her a bit and hoping to take her to some exhibitions this year. When she started bucking 2 weeks ago it was different than her usual. A lot more violent and determined.... Needless to say, now my confidence is gone again and we will have to start over from scratch. Not looking forward to it. :(
I always wear a helmet when I ride her. May be you shoud get a helmet too, it might help you feel a little bit more "protected". |
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| All I can say is ... start trail riding and spending 3-4-5-6 hours in the saddle on your trusty gelding at your area lakes or equestrian trails ...... this will connect your butt back to your brain and then make the step up to go back to the arena .... lots of pretty country to see riding horseback!! GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS .. |
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Married to a Louie Lover
Posts: 3303
| Baby steps.
Glad to see you ordered a helmet. I grew up riding hunter jumpers and we had to wear one. I feel strange without it and continue to wear it today. My boy slipped around a barrel once and went down on me. Luckily I was tossed mostly clear and he only rolled on my leg, but I'm not sure if I hadn't been wearing a helmet if I would have gotten up and back on that day, my neck was sore so my head must have bounced off the ground pretty good.
I am a much more confident rider with a helmet. The timer doesn't care of I'm wearing a helmet or a hat. |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 602
| OhMax - 2014-01-29 10:28 AM
Baby steps.
Glad to see you ordered a helmet. I grew up riding hunter jumpers and we had to wear one. I feel strange without it and continue to wear it today. My boy slipped around a barrel once and went down on me. Luckily I was tossed mostly clear and he only rolled on my leg, but I'm not sure if I hadn't been wearing a helmet if I would have gotten up and back on that day, my neck was sore so my head must have bounced off the ground pretty good.
I am a much more confident rider with a helmet. The timer doesn't care of I'm wearing a helmet or a hat.
^^^^^  I started wearing a helmet after my crash. It boosted my confidence. |
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 Love Me Some Robert Redford
Posts: 2335
Location: WV | I was going to say what has already been posted so I'll just send another hug. I have been there and still there. |
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Veteran
Posts: 165
| Sometimes I think witnessing an accident can be as bad as being in the accident. I witnessed a terrible fatal car accident a few years ago, and I was terrified driving for a long time after. The image would just keep flashing through my mind while I was driving... It took a long time to get over that. Just keep at it and it will get better. |
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Regular
Posts: 92
| Thank you everyone! Makes me feel so much better reading all your posts. I spent some time just hanging out & grooming my mare today, played a game with her and just relaxed with her & my gelding. Baby steps. I called about my helmet and was told it should arrive Monday :) |
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My confidence just flew out the window....