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 Hog Tie My Mojo
Posts: 4847
   
Location: Opelousas, LA | What happens to kids who fight at your childs school? Are the police called?
Just wondering because my son came home today with the side of his jaw red and a little puffy. He said two sixth graders, my son is in fourth grade, jumped on him and started hitting him. My son tried to fight back until a teacher (who saw the whole thing) broke it up. One of the boys ran off and the other was made to sit out at recess, my son did not get in trouble because the teacher saw him get jumped even though he normally would because he fought back.
I am thinking something a bit harsher should be done to the kids who jumped my son. This has been an ongoing problem this year after a low performing school was integrated with my sons school. Multiple visits with the principals have done no good, the staff doesn't appear to be able to control some of the kids.
Today two girls got into a fight and one of them hit a teacher that tried to break it up, again no police were called.
We had already planned on sending him to a private school next year but I am thinking of withdrawing him and homeschooling the rest of this year.
Edited by Barnmom 2014-02-17 7:08 PM
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Member
Posts: 16
| My school has a 0 tolerance policy on fighting, as soon as there is a fight the police are called and you will get arrested whether you started it or not! |
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Hog Tie My Mojo
Posts: 4847
Location: Opelousas, LA | _lognosh_ - 2014-02-17 7:03 PM My school has a 0 tolerance policy on fighting, as soon as there is a fight the police are called and you will get arrested whether you started it or not!
Thats about what I am used to, not sure why the police are NEVER called but there are multiple fights a day.
My husband was a coach and athletic director in Texas so we are not unfamiliar with how a school should deal with these issues. This school was really good the last two years but they had about 150 new kids come in from the other school that was shut down and it has gone to hell this year.
My husband wants me to file a police report, not sure what good that will do. |
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 Miss Laundry Misshap
Posts: 5271
| Our school is no tolerance, all get in trouble, no matter who started it.
That being said, I wonder if your school doesn't want attention because they are housing the kids from the other school. I wonder if they are trying to look good and try to look like they are making things work.
I'm guessing the other school was rough and had bad stats, part of the reason of closure. Everyone wants it to be hunkey-dory and not look bad. Sucks for your kid and the others having to deal with these rough kids.
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 IMA No Hair Style Gal
Posts: 2594
| We have never called the police at our school. When handling fights it is a policy for liability reasons that information regarding any punishment for other kids, other than your own cannot be disclosed. Typically the offenders are suspended. If they are repeat offenders they would likely go to our alternative school.
However if you are concerned contact the school and state that you would like to press charges. If this is a continuous issue you give an inch and the kids will take a mile. I would not be afraid to check into pressing charges since your kiddo was jumped. Hope he is okay. |
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  Expert
Posts: 1960
Location: NW Arkansas | Call the school and ask for a written report of what happened. Then I'd call the police and press charges. Does the school have an SRO assigned to them (School Resource Officer)? The officer would be the person you'd want to talk to, otherwise get the report and call the police. I'm a school teacher and there is no way I'd let a student go home after being assaulted without an administor calling his parents and explaining what happened!
Edited to add: I teach 6th and 7th grade and we have an SRO assigned to our school-- we frequently have him step in and have meetings with kids and parents. He occasionally takes one off to JDC if parents press charges.
Edited by Arkiecanchaser 2014-02-17 7:30 PM
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Hog Tie My Mojo
Posts: 4847
Location: Opelousas, LA | Yes, the other school was right next to the government housing. Pretty much all the parents who cared enough to get thier kids out of there had already left.
I just don't get why they won't call the cops. We have police directing traffic in front of the school twice a day, I'm sure they could make time for a visit or two to the school.
I can't get him in a private school til next year but I don't remotely feel prepared to homeschool him. |
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IMA No Hair Style Gal
Posts: 2594
| Our school always tries to keep issues from going to our SRO, they want to be in control. If it is in the SROS hands they have no say.
I would make them accountable. Stand firm, press charges. If they heehaw around you, set up a time to come to the school and meet with them and the SRO.
As far as homeschooling, I would recommend trying to finish out the year and getting him to private school for the next year, only because you mention how you don't feel ready.
I have a few students that were homeschooled only to be very behind once back in school. I have an 8th grader who I got in the 6th grade who could not read. |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 1131
| We have a 3 hit rule at our high school (big difference between grade school fights and the high school fights.) We had one kid who's head was bashed into the wall. Whole hallway was blocked off while they got his blood off the walls and ceiling. The kid who started it was arrested, but the other kid wasn't in trouble because the video showed he only hit back for self defense and it was kinda those hits that he was almost unconscious so they weren't any good anyways.
If someone else gangs up on you and you try to get away from them, but they get you cornered or something, after 3 hits it is considered assault and you are allowed to hit back in a self defense way (blocking face with one arm, randomly swinging with other kind of deal).
I think those kids that jumped your son just need taken to the principle's office and some brains wooped into them. Might just be me though. |
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Hog Tie My Mojo
Posts: 4847
Location: Opelousas, LA | Arkiecanchaser - 2014-02-17 7:27 PM Call the school and ask for a written report of what happened. Then I'd call the police and press charges. Does the school have an SRO assigned to them (School Resource Officer)? The officer would be the person you'd want to talk to, otherwise get the report and call the police. I'm a school teacher and there is no way I'd let a student go home after being assaulted without an administor calling his parents and explaining what happened!
Edited to add: I teach 6th and 7th grade and we have an SRO assigned to our school-- we frequently have him step in and have meetings with kids and parents. He occasionally takes one off to JDC if parents press charges.
I will check on that tomorrow although I am pretty sure it never went beyond the one kid sitting against the wall for the duration of recess. I am not aware of an administrator even being involved today.
My son is big for his age ( 10 years old and wears a size 10 mens shoe) and he is red headed. He has always looked out for the smaller kids in his class and that seems to make him a target. Not sure how safe he is there this year. |
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Hog Tie My Mojo
Posts: 4847
Location: Opelousas, LA | magic gunsmoke - 2014-02-17 7:41 PM Our school always tries to keep issues from going to our SRO, they want to be in control. If it is in the SROS hands they have no say. I would make them accountable. Stand firm, press charges. If they heehaw around you, set up a time to come to the school and meet with them and the SRO. As far as homeschooling, I would recommend trying to finish out the year and getting him to private school for the next year, only because you mention how you don't feel ready. I have a few students that were homeschooled only to be very behind once back in school. I have an 8th grader who I got in the 6th grade who could not read.
Thats what worries me, especially knowing he will already be playing catch up moving to a better school.
I do know the ambulance has been called to the school twice this year, was told it was due to playground injuries, not so sure I believe them now. |
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Expert
Posts: 1561
| _lognosh_ - 2014-02-17 7:03 PM
My school has a 0 tolerance policy on fighting, as soon as there is a fight the police are called and you will get arrested whether you started it or not!
Sounds like a great policy... |
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 Expert
Posts: 1218
Location: Great NW | If it were my child, I would file a police report and press charges. I would take them out and home school them for their safety. Really too bad when kids do not respect people or laws. so sad when those that abide have to pay for those that do not. Glad he is ok from this attack. |
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 Midget Lover
Location: Kentucky | _lognosh_ - 2014-02-17 8:03 PM My school has a 0 tolerance policy on fighting, as soon as there is a fight the police are called and you will get arrested whether you started it or not!
How do they arrest a child that got jumped and didn't start the fight? That is grouping that kid in with these bullies. |
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Posts: 1857
| I want to know where are the kids is parents in all this! Have you contacted them and told them what is going on. |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 1066
| I dont have kids yet (due in April), but I think if it were my kid I would sign him up for Judo (almost 100% self defence) and keep him in school, but be the pain-in-the-butt parent who when one little thing goes wrong I would demand higher punishment than a little slap on the wrist. My husband got ganged up on a lot when he was in school until about grade 9 when he was bigger and stronger than all the town kids... He is already worried about sending our kid to school so I think based on that alone we will have our son in some sort of self defense classes from a young age. |
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Expert
Posts: 1857
| Murphy - 2014-02-18 12:35 PM
_lognosh_ - 2014-02-17 8:03 PM My school has a 0 tolerance policy on fighting, as soon as there is a fight the police are called and you will get arrested whether you started it or not!
How do they arrest a child that got jumped and didn't start the fight? That is grouping that kid in with these bullies.
That's what I was thinking! That's a retarded policy, no way will someone arrest my child if they didn't start it and nor will they if they defended themselves. |
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 Accident Prone
Posts: 22277
Location: 100 miles from Nowhere, AR | Barnmom - 2014-02-17 7:49 PM magic gunsmoke - 2014-02-17 7:41 PM Our school always tries to keep issues from going to our SRO, they want to be in control. If it is in the SROS hands they have no say. I would make them accountable. Stand firm, press charges. If they heehaw around you, set up a time to come to the school and meet with them and the SRO. As far as homeschooling, I would recommend trying to finish out the year and getting him to private school for the next year, only because you mention how you don't feel ready. I have a few students that were homeschooled only to be very behind once back in school. I have an 8th grader who I got in the 6th grade who could not read. Thats what worries me, especially knowing he will already be playing catch up moving to a better school.
I do know the ambulance has been called to the school twice this year, was told it was due to playground injuries, not so sure I believe them now.
I think a lot of us give ourselves too little credit on our ability to teach the basics. The curriculums available out there break it down into steps for you--as an educated adult, you know how to do the steps, you just don't know how to break them down and teach them without guidance. Crap, I taught my kindergartner how to multiply because she asked...I had no idea I could do that, but she totally caught on. It sounds like the learning environment has been compromised, which is the reason my kids are in private school and not public, so is he *really* getting anything out of school anyway with all that going on? If you're leaving at the end of the year, I wouldn't hesitate to homeschool him. You'll probably do a better job preparing him for the new school anyway. |
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Expert
Posts: 1857
| Three 4 Luck - 2014-02-18 12:39 PM
Barnmom - 2014-02-17 7:49 PM magic gunsmoke - 2014-02-17 7:41 PM Our school always tries to keep issues from going to our SRO, they want to be in control. If it is in the SROS hands they have no say. I would make them accountable. Stand firm, press charges. If they heehaw around you, set up a time to come to the school and meet with them and the SRO. As far as homeschooling, I would recommend trying to finish out the year and getting him to private school for the next year, only because you mention how you don't feel ready. I have a few students that were homeschooled only to be very behind once back in school. I have an 8th grader who I got in the 6th grade who could not read. Thats what worries me, especially knowing he will already be playing catch up moving to a better school.
I do know the ambulance has been called to the school twice this year, was told it was due to playground injuries, not so sure I believe them now.
What does he want to do? |
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Addicted to Baseball
Location: Where the stars at night are big and bright, TX | The anti-bullying "programs" are a complete joke. They waste time and tax payers money telling the kids what not to do but don't and won't enforce it because after all, even the heathen inflicting injury is guaranteed a public education. We don't have a rash of those problems here but when they happen, the administration won't do anything...they tell the parents to go meet with the parents of the other kids on their own time. |
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 Expert
Posts: 1898
| In our district all parties involved are sent to administration and we ALWAYS file a police report for liability.
We always contact the parents of the parties involved but we do not have authority to discuss student names or punishment of opposite parties. We usually tell parents if they question regarding the other person or persons they have to get the information from their child. We won't release names because there are the crazy parents that seek retaliation against other family members or the children themselves.
I would get a police report immediately. If the school is not willing to advocate for your child then you have to. Who's to say these other children don't already have a record or are on probation? It needs reported so there is a paper trail if and when these other children cause serious injury. If something else was to happen and these children had no prior history of violent behavior the punishment wouldn't be as fitting. It is up to you on whether you press charges but I would definitely have it documented by the police department and ALWAYS request a copy of the final report so the notes don't get "round filed" when they get back to the office. |
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 Expert
Posts: 3165
| when i was younger, my schools rule was immediate suspension for all involved.
5 days for the one who started the fight
and 3 days for the others involved, whether they threw a punch or not.
some kids were able to get In school suspension if they can prove they didn't fight back... or tried to avoid the situation.
I was jumped in 10th grade by 3 girls on the school bus. i was suspended for 38 days out of school, and then spent another 10 days in "in school suspension". By the time the attorney was able to get a meeting with the super attendant, i had already served all of the suspension, but it was ex-sponged from my record since the girls were not supposed to be on that bus, and I had no choice but to fight back.
our school rarely called the police when a fight happened, unless someone was seriously hurt.
did the school even call you to inform you of the fight? |
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Accident Prone
Posts: 22277
Location: 100 miles from Nowhere, AR | I can't imagine punishing the victim, whether they fight back or not. Good Lord! |
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Expert
Posts: 1857
| Three 4 Luck - 2014-02-18 1:12 PM
I can't imagine punishing the victim, whether they fight back or not. Good Lord!
I know, they punish them and put stuff on their record when they had no choice to be involved. The only time the attacked individual should be written up or punished is if they were taunting or egged the situation on and there is proof of such behavior! |
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 Balance Beam and more...
Posts: 11511
Location: 31 lengths farms | Sadly it seems that schools today are afraid to expel kids for any justifiable reason because of the whole Average Daily Attendance and the fact they get paid for "seats in the seats". Expelling kids takes money out of the coffers....
I worked in the schools for 18 years, 6 monthsI spent in a classroom that was just for the kids that had been kicked out of their regular schools. Very interesting kids, no resources. There were anywhere from 8-14 students in the classroom, a teacher and 2 aides. While I was there the teacher got let go for encouraging/daring a student to put a pushpin threw his ear, kids came and went as they pleased. One would show up when he knew that we had to order lunches for the day, it was often the only meal he got. When the teacher threatened to call his probation officer the student was like "go ahead, Juvie means clean clothes, meals and a place to sleep at night..." When I first got there they had no sports equipment, no basketballs, nothing. Everything had gotten taken away because they ended up using them as weapons, unruly bunch of heathens for sure. I brought a basketball the second day of work and played with them, got slammed to the ground a couple times but when they figured out I wasn't gonna whine and pout about it they gave me a lot of respect. One girl walked in after being gone to juvie for a week or so when I first started. She looked at me and then at another girl in class and said "who's the Barbie?" Kathy told her my name and said "but she's cool man.." Krystal looked at me and says "My names Krystal, don't tell me what to do ..." I said "fair enough, my names not Barbie, it's Nannette and dont' tell me how to do my job, we get along fine." They had no library books, no computers, nothing but trouble to cause at their recess times, so much in fact that the district had a closing time of 2 pm for them a good hour earlier than the regular schools because in the afternoon so many snuck off after lunch anyway. After getting them involved in basketball games they started sticking around better. So I brought Monopoly and UNO to school with me, figured at least Monopoly would teach them some math skills without them knowing they were doing math and UNO just because I enjoy it, LOL!!! I made arrangements to borrow the book "Summer of the Monkey's" for them from the library at the Jr High. The first day only had 1 student that was willing to sit and read aloud with me but by the end of the first week all of them sat and at least looked at the books and some even argued who's turn it was to read the next pages. Did have to buy a book when we finished as someone stole their copy, but I figured if they bothered to steal a book at least I hoped it meant they were re-reading it at home.
There are always two sides to any "problem" and I've been in both the classrooms where you wish the would send the kids home and the classroom where you pray the kid shows up each day because its the only safe place there is for them. |
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I Really Love Jeans
Posts: 3173
Location: North Dakota | If kids fight in middle school here 6,7,8 grade they put the kid in a room which is called in school suspension until the parents or parent comes to the school to pick up the kid. They are suspended for a few days or moe depending on how severe the fight is. I would go to the school if I were you and make it clear that you want something done about your child being hit. Insist that the parents of the other two children be called to the school and let the school know if anyone touches your child again you will file a police report for assult. Make sure the other kids parents know this to. I had a group of boys who decided to target my son when we moved here, the school did nothing so I found them at the park one day and put on my ugly hat and they never even looked at my son again!! Here they have a phone directory so all the parents have access to the contact info of all the other parents, we pay $15 a year for it in the form of a booklet! One of the parents decided to mouth back so I found her kid personally and he knew I was serious so that ended the harassment!!!! |
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 Chicken Chick
Posts: 3562
Location: Texas | angelica - 2014-02-18 2:31 PM If kids fight in middle school here 6,7,8 grade they put the kid in a room which is called in school suspension until the parents or parent comes to the school to pick up the kid. They are suspended for a few days or moe depending on how severe the fight is. I would go to the school if I were you and make it clear that you want something done about your child being hit. Insist that the parents of the other two children be called to the school and let the school know if anyone touches your child again you will file a police report for assult. Make sure the other kids parents know this to. I had a group of boys who decided to target my son when we moved here, the school did nothing so I found them at the park one day and put on my ugly hat and they never even looked at my son again!! Here they have a phone directory so all the parents have access to the contact info of all the other parents, we pay $15 a year for it in the form of a booklet! One of the parents decided to mouth back so I found her kid personally and he knew I was serious so that ended the harassment!!!!
So you are tracking down kids because their parents are mouthy? |
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Hog Tie My Mojo
Posts: 4847
Location: Opelousas, LA | Thanks for all the replies. I kept him home today because he woke up with a headache and his jaw was pretty sore.
My husband is coming home tonight and he is going to the school tomorrow to see what, if anything, was done about what happened yesterday. We are most likely going to withdraw him and homeschool him for the rest of the year.
I am going to ask if we can keep in touch with his teachers and follow along with what they are doing in class. If that is not an option then we will do our own thing and probably have "school" all summer and hopefully get caught up to where he needs to be. I am not sure how much teaching his teachers are actually able to do in between trying to keep order in the classroom anyways.
As for calling the police, that will depend on what my husband finds out tomorrow. I did talk to an officer yesterday and they have not been called to that school at all this year as far as he knows. I have not had the administrators contact me at all either. All the information has come from my son and what I find out when I meet with the Asst. Principal the next day.
Any good homeschooling tips or info would be appreciated. I know it will take a very disciplined schedule to work this in to what I already have to do, but at this point I don't see any other way.
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Hog Tie My Mojo
Posts: 4847
Location: Opelousas, LA | angelica - 2014-02-18 2:31 PM If kids fight in middle school here 6,7,8 grade they put the kid in a room which is called in school suspension until the parents or parent comes to the school to pick up the kid. They are suspended for a few days or moe depending on how severe the fight is. I would go to the school if I were you and make it clear that you want something done about your child being hit. Insist that the parents of the other two children be called to the school and let the school know if anyone touches your child again you will file a police report for assult. Make sure the other kids parents know this to. I had a group of boys who decided to target my son when we moved here, the school did nothing so I found them at the park one day and put on my ugly hat and they never even looked at my son again!! Here they have a phone directory so all the parents have access to the contact info of all the other parents, we pay $15 a year for it in the form of a booklet! One of the parents decided to mouth back so I found her kid personally and he knew I was serious so that ended the harassment!!!!
Honestly, I don't think some of these kids parents really give a rats rear what goes on at school. As long as the kids are at school to get thier free lunch and counted present so the parents get thier benefits they don't care what happens.
I really feel bad for some of the kids but my concern is my childs safety. |
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 Expert
Posts: 1432
Location: Never in one place long | And this my friends is what happens when parents aren't around to raise their kids or don't take time to teach them right from wrong.... most kids who act this way KNOW their parents wont' do anything and dont' get the attention they need from parents. This is very scary to me knowing thre are thousands of kids out there acting this way because their darn parents DON'T care!!!! |
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 Experienced Mouse Trapper
Posts: 3106
Location: North Dakota | Totally and completely grateful that I do not have to deal with what you are dealing with now. Maybe in HS but before middle school-OMG! You are handling things very well, pretty sure I wouldn't be doing as good as you are. Good luck, too bad your son is the one to "suffer" and have to learn that the world is full of wimps that won't stand up to bullies. (I mean the school-not you) |
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The Advice Guru
Posts: 6419
| Barnmom - 2014-02-18 2:39 PM
Thanks for all the replies. I kept him home today because he woke up with a headache and his jaw was pretty sore.
My husband is coming home tonight and he is going to the school tomorrow to see what, if anything, was done about what happened yesterday. We are most likely going to withdraw him and homeschool him for the rest of the year.
I am going to ask if we can keep in touch with his teachers and follow along with what they are doing in class. If that is not an option then we will do our own thing and probably have "school" all summer and hopefully get caught up to where he needs to be. I am not sure how much teaching his teachers are actually able to do in between trying to keep order in the classroom anyways.
As for calling the police, that will depend on what my husband finds out tomorrow. I did talk to an officer yesterday and they have not been called to that school at all this year as far as he knows. I have not had the administrators contact me at all either. All the information has come from my son and what I find out when I meet with the Asst. Principal the next day.
Any good homeschooling tips or info would be appreciated. I know it will take a very disciplined schedule to work this in to what I already have to do, but at this point I don't see any other way.
For tips on home schooling
Maybe sylvan learning
Post at the local college/university for tutors
Craigslist post for retired school teacher wanted for Tudors.
This might help you guys |
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 Expert
Posts: 3782
Location: Gainesville, TX | On the homeschooling thing. There is so much available online now, it's crazy. You can teach just about anything. There's also tons of great computer programs, even games for Wii and Xbox that teach math skills, science, and language. Find out where he's at and then just google '4th grade match curriculum' or something similar. You'll be amazed. |
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Expert
Posts: 1218
Location: Great NW | It is so sad that the victoms are the ones that suffer - they are the ones that have to change their lives. There is NO WAY a victom should be arrested or have anything on their records for trying to protect themselves. Home schooling is not that hard - just time consuming to get started. I have heard that some states even supply the Computer for the child. |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 766
Location: Texas | Just because you homeschool your son doesn't mean that he will be behind in school. You are a concerned parent so I'm sure he will be far ahead of others in his class. He will love the one on one attention that he will recieve and there will be no class distractions or fear that he will get hurt. He will be more relaxed and be able to learn quicker.
I have seen others homeschool that weren't consistent and yes their children got behind. Just make yourself a schedule and follow it. And being that it is just you and your son, he will finish each class quicker.
Don't stress, you will be awesome!!
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Fighting at school - am I overreacting?