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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 582
 
| Pretty sure I lost my job today, given the fact that my email access has been terminated I'd say odds are pretty good. He even un-friended me on Facebook LOL! I've been the business manager for a smallish company for 12 years. I've worked my hiney off. I have foregone vacation days, worked when I was sick and been the glue that kept the place running for 12 years! . It has been an extremely stressful job but one that I needed to support my kids, one that I took ownership of, one that I took pride in, I did my best to make sure we made money for the owner because that was my job. My boss told me I needed to make arrangements to travel out of state in the next 10 days. I asked why, (this is not part of my normal day to day). He would not give a reason just that we needed to have a meeting. I explained that I have no one to take care of my kids, their dad split 2 months ago he is not in the state, I don't have a plan b. I have no family that can spend 3 days with them, I have no one that can take them for 3 days! It is not possible with my current family situation. I respectfully decline. His response was that my job requires occaisional travel and if I could not handle the responsibility of the job, so state. I've been in the same job for 12 freakin years!
I just am bewildered. I have given 12 years of working late, working weekends, some all nighters. I have missed school plays, I have lost vacation days. I am always there to take care of whatever needs to be done. He tell's everyone that I am him when he is not there. I can honestly say I have done my best, I have always tried to do a good job and I have delivered, time and again. I can't make one trip and I'm fired or I guess I quit because I can't go and my job depends on it? I just got a huge raise!?
I am praying that this is one of those situations where God opens a door where one closes. Thanks for listening. |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 902
Location: Qld Australia | Oh horsefever hugs to you!!!!!
Is it legal in your state for dismissal in this situation? Is there a government agency to call to discuss unfair dismissal?
Hugs again.
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  Neat Freak
Posts: 11216
 
Location: Wonderful Wyoming | Is there some kind of Human resources? I would do something! I mean if you haven't had to do this in 12 YEARS!!! Sounds super fishy, do they know your situation? Maybe this was a plan to get you out?? |
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Too busy outside!
Posts: 5417
| Sounds like if you are to be terminated for only that- then your job was never valued as much by your boss as you thought it was to begin with. Maybe you should ask your fellow employees for their honest opinion. |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 582
| well, I don't know if there is any agency I can call. OK is a free will state. Thanks everyone for your hugs and kind words.
Trickster, I have been with this company since they were 4 employees including me. I helped build it. 99% of my fellow employees are out of state at other facilities, I work at Corp HQ. The rest report to me, my boss and finally the CEO. Maybe it wasn't important, maybe I was just a sucker for giving all that time and energy to a job that I valued. They knew my situation, my boss and I were good friends until today. Man it, sucks finding out I was evidently a... I don't even know what to call it. Can't say doormat.
Definitely did not want to broadcast it on FB, just needed to express my thoughts and feelings in a safe place.
Edited by horsefever 2014-03-06 11:04 PM
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Blessed 
Location: Here | He should have terminated you... You need to show up for your job in the morning. Dont' assume anything... |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 582
| SG. - 2014-03-06 11:06 PM
He should have terminated you... You need to show up for your job in the morning. Dont' assume anything...
Errr. should or shouldn't? |
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Blessed
Location: Here | If he was going to terminate you he should have done it before doing the other stuff
Not saying he was right. Just saying don't assume you are tell he gives it to you in writing |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 582
| SG. - 2014-03-06 11:12 PM
If he was going to terminate you he should have done it before doing the other stuff
Not saying he was right. Just saying don't assume you are tell he gives it to you in writing
Ah, see what you are saying. Was starting to feel even worse. LOL. Thanks for clearing that up. |
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Blessed
Location: Here | horsefever - 2014-03-06 11:13 PM SG. - 2014-03-06 11:12 PM If he was going to terminate you he should have done it before doing the other stuff
Not saying he was right. Just saying don't assume you are tell he gives it to you in writing Ah, see what you are saying. Was starting to feel even worse. LOL. Thanks for clearing that up.
Sorry didn't mean to upset your or confuse you
Just saying SHOW UP! Make them give you a letter! You will need it for unemployment benefits etc |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 582
| SG. - 2014-03-06 11:15 PM
horsefever - 2014-03-06 11:13 PM SG. - 2014-03-06 11:12 PM If he was going to terminate you he should have done it before doing the other stuff
Not saying he was right. Just saying don't assume you are tell he gives it to you in writing Ah, see what you are saying. Was starting to feel even worse. LOL. Thanks for clearing that up.
Just saying SHOW UP! Make them give you a letter! You will need it for unemployment benefits etc
Thanks!!! 
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Blessed
Location: Here | Ask for a letter of reference if he does terminate you.
You might not get it but now is the time to get it if you want it...
I hate this for you. Just trying to prepare you |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 582
| SG. - 2014-03-06 11:19 PM
Ask for a letter of reference if he does terminate you.
You might not get it but now is the time to get it if you want it...
I hate this for you. Just trying to prepare you
You are very kind, thank you. |
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Blessed
Location: Here | horsefever - 2014-03-06 11:28 PM SG. - 2014-03-06 11:19 PM Ask for a letter of reference if he does terminate you.
You might not get it but now is the time to get it if you want it...
I hate this for you. Just trying to prepare you You are very kind, thank you.
Just being real... Again I am so sorry... But try and rest and just imagine that it is HE who got fired and all access has been denied until they get the system secure...
A girls gotta dream to get through nights like this |
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 Hog Tie My Mojo
Posts: 4847
Location: Opelousas, LA | I agree with SG, make someone hand you a letter or tell you you are fired to your face. Sounds like your boss has a chicken $hit way of going about things, don't abandon your job and give him an easy way out, sounds like you deserve much better.
Hopefully all is not what it seems and your employer comes to his senses, if not, hugs and prayers to you, so sorry. |
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 I Am Always Right
Posts: 4264
Location: stray dump capital of the world | I find it strange that you are being asked to go out of town even though your job has never required out of town trips. Also, he wouldn't clarify where your were going or why??? (I may have missed something) Is he trying to hit on you? It just all sounds weird. Where did your kids go when you pulled the all nighters? If you worked all night, he may assume that you have someone for the kids.
I agree, go to work. If he fires you there, ask for a letter stating the reason for your termination. Good luck to you. I'll be praying. |
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Industrial Srength Barrel Racer
Posts: 7268
| Gosh, do you work at the same place I do? - I too, work weekends, holidays, 10-12 hr days - MISSED picking up my first trophy saddle at a BBR to WORK, have always gotten good reviews, good pay raises, rated an "A" always and last year they threatened to walk me out! - WHY? - because HR told them they needed to cut "X" amount of heads to make up for the POOR contracts we are losing money on! NOW, I think twice before giving them ANYTHING - bottom line, I am a number! I'm sorry they are treating you like this - I hope if you are fired, another, BETTER door will open for you! |
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 More bootie than waist!
Posts: 18425
Location: Riding Crackhead. | Go to work and make them tell you. I was in a similar situation a little over a year ago when the company I worked for for 15 years sold and the new owner wouldn't tell me if I still had a job or not. I had anxiety attacks for weeks and it sucked. Make them tell you! Much luck to you today. |
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 Ditch the Stirrups
Posts: 5369
Location: Sorrow Not! Defending against workplace bullies | Talk to an attorney. I don't see how you can be fired for this. Do no take this lying down. |
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I Really Love Jeans
Posts: 3173
Location: North Dakota | If you did not sign a work contract that stated you will need to be available to travel he can't fire you for that reason! You soud like a dedicated worker and you boss souds like a weenie! Companies pray they can find employees like you so if he makes the mistake of letting you go then its his loss!! |
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 Tough Patooty
Posts: 2615
Location: Sperry, OK | Oh Lista! I am so sad to hear this. I pray for you that there is some kind of mix up and you have not been fired! Please let me know if Rusty and I can do anything for you!! |
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 Undercover Amish Mafia Member
Posts: 9992
Location: Kansas | O gosh, many prayers for you. I'm hoping and praying for the best outcome for you and your family |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 582
| sophiebelle - 2014-03-07 5:15 AM
I find it strange that you are being asked to go out of town even though your job has never required out of town trips. Also, he wouldn't clarify where your were going or why??? (I may have missed something) Is he trying to hit on you? It just all sounds weird. Where did your kids go when you pulled the all nighters? If you worked all night, he may assume that you have someone for the kids.
I agree, go to work. If he fires you there, ask for a letter stating the reason for your termination. Good luck to you. I'll be praying.
When I worked late and weekends, all nighters it was when their Dad was around so they had somewhere to go. Now he's gone and everyone at my office knows it. Boss just would not tell me why but I know where. Don't think I was being hit on. We are a pretty small group at HQ, it's like living in a small town everybody knows everybody's business.
Thank you for your kind words and prayers. |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 582
| ACEINTHEHOLE - 2014-03-07 8:08 AM
Oh Lista! I am so sad to hear this. I pray for you that there is some kind of mix up and you have not been fired! Please let me know if Rusty and I can do anything for you!!
Thanks Shannon! XO |
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 Looking for Lady Jockey
Posts: 3747
Location: Rodeos or Baseball games | |
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Porta Potty Pants
Posts: 2600
| In right to work states, you can terminate for no reason but you cannot terminate for an illegal reason. Thus they need to give you some information. Plus, normally when terminated, they have to pay your wages and all accrued benefits within a certain number of days. In addition, you have to receive information regarding your right to continue certain benefits under COBRA laws. They can't just not tell you something.
Your state should have an Industrial Commission that monitors workplace issues. Also, look up the National Labor Relations Board if you suspect they terminated you for retaliation. |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 984
Location: Southwest Minnesota | Thinking of you today...hope all is okay in your world.  |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 582
| azsun - 2014-03-07 10:10 AM
In right to work states, you can terminate for no reason but you cannot terminate for an illegal reason. Thus they need to give you some information. Plus, normally when terminated, they have to pay your wages and all accrued benefits within a certain number of days. In addition, you have to receive information regarding your right to continue certain benefits under COBRA laws. They can't just not tell you something.
Your state should have an Industrial Commission that monitors workplace issues. Also, look up the National Labor Relations Board if you suspect they terminated you for retaliation.
Thank you very much for the information. |
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 Expert
Posts: 1898
| Prayers for you and your kids. I couldn't imagine being in your shoes right now. |
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The Advice Guru
Posts: 6419
| Any update today,
Hoping you still have your job |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 1117
Location: MI | Hoping for a positive update! Hugs  |
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 Expert
Posts: 1218
Location: Great NW | Prayers |
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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 352
Location: Texas | If you are terminated, could your boss have done something and needed someone to blame? Then used the travel thing as an excuse? I know that's more like a soap opera but I've seen such stuff happen.
Either way, many hugs and prayers. When I was hiring I would have loved to found an employee like you. |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 582
| batkitty - 2014-03-07 12:45 PM
If you are terminated, could your boss have done something and needed someone to blame? Then used the travel thing as an excuse? I know that's more like a soap opera but I've seen such stuff happen.
Either way, many hugs and prayers. When I was hiring I would have loved to found an employee like you.
Thank you for that.
No update but the day is not over yet. He has not spoken a word to me. |
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 Expert
Posts: 1857
| horsefever - 2014-03-07 12:49 PM
batkitty - 2014-03-07 12:45 PM
If you are terminated, could your boss have done something and needed someone to blame? Then used the travel thing as an excuse? I know that's more like a soap opera but I've seen such stuff happen.
Either way, many hugs and prayers. When I was hiring I would have loved to found an employee like you.
Thank you for that.
No update but the day is not over yet. He has not spoken a word to me.
Maybe he's just having himself a little tantrum! Hopefully it blows over. Hugs and Prayers! |
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 The Original Cyber Bartender
Location: Washington | He doesn't want to officially terminate you because he doesn't want you to go get unemployment.Hope I am wrong! |
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The Advice Guru
Posts: 6419
| horsefever - 2014-03-07 12:49 PM
batkitty - 2014-03-07 12:45 PM
If you are terminated, could your boss have done something and needed someone to blame? Then used the travel thing as an excuse? I know that's more like a soap opera but I've seen such stuff happen.
Either way, many hugs and prayers. When I was hiring I would have loved to found an employee like you.
Thank you for that.
No update but the day is not over yet. He has not spoken a word to me.
Hang in there |
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 Googly Goo
Posts: 7053
| horsefever - 2014-03-07 12:49 PM batkitty - 2014-03-07 12:45 PM If you are terminated, could your boss have done something and needed someone to blame? Then used the travel thing as an excuse? I know that's more like a soap opera but I've seen such stuff happen. Either way, many hugs and prayers. When I was hiring I would have loved to found an employee like you. Thank you for that. No update but the day is not over yet. He has not spoken a word to me.
If you value your job, go to him and tell him you will find a way to make the trip....Then do it. |
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More bootie than waist!
Posts: 18425
Location: Riding Crackhead. | Happy thoughts! |
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I Am Always Right
Posts: 4264
Location: stray dump capital of the world | horsefever - 2014-03-07 9:18 AM sophiebelle - 2014-03-07 5:15 AM I find it strange that you are being asked to go out of town even though your job has never required out of town trips. Also, he wouldn't clarify where your were going or why??? (I may have missed something) Is he trying to hit on you? It just all sounds weird. Where did your kids go when you pulled the all nighters? If you worked all night, he may assume that you have someone for the kids.
I agree, go to work. If he fires you there, ask for a letter stating the reason for your termination. Good luck to you. I'll be praying. When I worked late and weekends, all nighters it was when their Dad was around so they had somewhere to go. Now he's gone and everyone at my office knows it. Boss just would not tell me why but I know where. Don't think I was being hit on. We are a pretty small group at HQ, it's like living in a small town everybody knows everybody's business. Thank you for your kind words and prayers.
Thank you for clairfying, but I'm just as stumped as before. Hope it all works out for you. Keeping you in my prayers. |
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Blessed
Location: Here | fatchance - 2014-03-07 2:22 PM He doesn't want to officially terminate you because he doesn't want you to go get unemployment.Hope I am wrong!
I agree.
Did you access to email today? Good job showing up for work!!! |
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 Always Off Topic
Posts: 6382
Location: ND | TXBO - 2014-03-07 3:54 PM horsefever - 2014-03-07 12:49 PM batkitty - 2014-03-07 12:45 PM If you are terminated, could your boss have done something and needed someone to blame? Then used the travel thing as an excuse? I know that's more like a soap opera but I've seen such stuff happen. Either way, many hugs and prayers. When I was hiring I would have loved to found an employee like you. Thank you for that. No update but the day is not over yet. He has not spoken a word to me.
agreed |
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Cold hands and Warm Heart
Location: oklahoma | dhdqhllc - 2014-03-07 7:38 PM TXBO - 2014-03-07 3:54 PM horsefever - 2014-03-07 12:49 PM batkitty - 2014-03-07 12:45 PM If you are terminated, could your boss have done something and needed someone to blame? Then used the travel thing as an excuse? I know that's more like a soap opera but I've seen such stuff happen. Either way, many hugs and prayers. When I was hiring I would have loved to found an employee like you. Thank you for that. No update but the day is not over yet. He has not spoken a word to me.
Even though I value both of you guys' opinions, this time I think you're both way off. It's far different for a man to leave town without the kids, than a woman, because normally, the wife, ex, sometime girlfriend, mil, grandma, neighbor down the street that I barely know would be left in charge with them. She's stated that there's no family or close friends, so who is she supposed to leave them with? |
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 MEOW!
Posts: 4477
Location: High heels in the air... | No, Go tell him you are working on it. Ask for an itinery and travel dates...Call his bluff...Maybe HE is getting fired and needs support at HDQ...and go if you can...this could be a good thing... |
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The Advice Guru
Posts: 6419
| Hope today is going well for you |
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Googly Goo
Posts: 7053
| fatchance - 2014-03-07 2:22 PM He doesn't want to officially terminate you because he doesn't want you to go get unemployment.Hope I am wrong!
In many states, if you are fired for due cause, you don't qualify for unemployment benefits. Refusing to attend a required meeting could certainly be considered due cause. If she has never been asked to travel before, it's possible that the labor board would consider this a change in responsibility and grant benefits......But that's quite a risk to take if you have a good job. |
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Googly Goo
Posts: 7053
| CurlyQ - 2014-03-07 7:51 PM dhdqhllc - 2014-03-07 7:38 PM TXBO - 2014-03-07 3:54 PM horsefever - 2014-03-07 12:49 PM batkitty - 2014-03-07 12:45 PM If you are terminated, could your boss have done something and needed someone to blame? Then used the travel thing as an excuse? I know that's more like a soap opera but I've seen such stuff happen. Either way, many hugs and prayers. When I was hiring I would have loved to found an employee like you. Thank you for that. No update but the day is not over yet. He has not spoken a word to me.
Based on the dislikes, a lot of people think we're way off. LOL!
I'm not trying to be harsh or flippant. She's already dealing with the father splitting and searching to replace good employment is just adding to her burden. It should be avoided right now at all cost. Some of the advice I'm hearing is taking quite a risk with someone else's livelyhood. |
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Hungarian Midget Woman
Location: Midwest | TXBO - 2014-03-08 12:23 PM
CurlyQ - 2014-03-07 7:51 PM dhdqhllc - 2014-03-07 7:38 PM TXBO - 2014-03-07 3:54 PM horsefever - 2014-03-07 12:49 PM batkitty - 2014-03-07 12:45 PM If you are terminated, could your boss have done something and needed someone to blame? Then used the travel thing as an excuse? I know that's more like a soap opera but I've seen such stuff happen. Either way, many hugs and prayers. When I was hiring I would have loved to found an employee like you. Thank you for that. No update but the day is not over yet. He has not spoken a word to me.
I'm not trying to be harsh or flippant. She's already dealing with the father splitting and searching to replace good employment is just adding to her burden. It should be avoided right now at all cost. Some of the advice I'm hearing is taking quite a risk with someone else's livelyhood.
I was thinking this as well
Unemployment is much lower than the original salary.
I hope the email thing was just an error. However if you were told that travel was a potential part of your duties when you were hired, I *think* they could let your go legally for not being able to attend and would not need to pay your unemployment nor give you severence. If you are an at will state, they can fire you without cause at any time, though you would be privy to unemployment in that instance.
Just keep looking for a job elsewhere. Hopefully something will come up! In the meantime, I would try to not lose your current job. The job market right now is tough for office positions. |
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Cold hands and Warm Heart
Location: oklahoma | TXBO - 2014-03-08 12:23 PM CurlyQ - 2014-03-07 7:51 PM dhdqhllc - 2014-03-07 7:38 PM TXBO - 2014-03-07 3:54 PM horsefever - 2014-03-07 12:49 PM batkitty - 2014-03-07 12:45 PM If you are terminated, could your boss have done something and needed someone to blame? Then used the travel thing as an excuse? I know that's more like a soap opera but I've seen such stuff happen. Either way, many hugs and prayers. When I was hiring I would have loved to found an employee like you. Thank you for that. No update but the day is not over yet. He has not spoken a word to me.
I'm not trying to be harsh or flippant. She's already dealing with the father splitting and searching to replace good employment is just adding to her burden. It should be avoided right now at all cost. Some of the advice I'm hearing is taking quite a risk with someone else's livelyhood.
I just empathize as I was once in that spot. I started landscaping on the side after working an 8 hr day to make ends meet. Seems like he could find someone else to go besides a single mother. I see your point, and agree that she should try to stick it out since she is the sole support for her family. It stinks is all :).
Op, hoping everything is looking better today. |
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Googly Goo
Posts: 7053
| CurlyQ - 2014-03-08 1:11 PM ...... Seems like he could find someone else to go besides a single mother. I see your point, and agree that she should try to stick it out since she is the sole support for her family. It stinks is all :).
Op, hoping everything is looking better today.
I'd have to know the nature of the meeting and her role before I could agree or disagree with you. If she's going to serve coffee to employees, I'd agree. However, the fact that he hasn't told her the purpose of the meeting could be because it's confidential at this time. Mergers, aquisitions and dispositions are at the top of the list of confidential meetings that may require the knowledge of a valued 12 year office manager..... Just for example. |
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Cold hands and Warm Heart
Location: oklahoma | TXBO - 2014-03-08 1:48 PM
CurlyQ - 2014-03-08 1:11 PM ...... Seems like he could find someone else to go besides a single mother. I see your point, and agree that she should try to stick it out since she is the sole support for her family. It stinks is all :).
Op, hoping everything is looking better today.
I'd have to know the nature of the meeting and her role before I could agree or disagree with you. If she's going to serve coffee to employees, I'd agree. However, the fact that he hasn't told her the purpose of the meeting could be because it's confidential at this time. Mergers, aquisitions and dispositions are at the top of the list of confidential meetings that may require the knowledge of a valued 12 year office manager..... Just for example.
Oops, my blue collar is showing.
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10D Crack Champion
| Any updates? |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 582
| Wow thank you all for your kind words and wisdom. I think I have smoothed things over with the boss, he contacted me yesterday. It has been a rough couple of days worrying. I will have to make the trip, and I will find a way to make sure my kids are ok. I may have them spend the night with friends of theirs while I'm gone. I really could not afford to lose this job. I I am, however, going to quietly look for another job in the meantime.
I have terrible travel anxiety too! LOL! So I may be medicated for the whole trip anyway.
Again, I appreciate so very much all of the helpful information and kind words. It has been a blessing to me.
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Hungarian Midget Woman
Location: Midwest | horsefever - 2014-03-09 1:12 PM
Wow thank you all for your kind words and wisdom. I think I have smoothed things over with the boss, he contacted me yesterday. It has been a rough couple of days worrying. I will have to make the trip, and I will find a way to make sure my kids are ok. I may have them spend the night with friends of theirs while I'm gone. I really could not afford to lose this job. I I am, however, going to quietly look for another job in the meantime.
I have terrible travel anxiety too! LOL! So I may be medicated for the whole trip anyway.
Again, I appreciate so very much all of the helpful information and kind words. It has been a blessing to me.
Oh, I'm so glad you could work things out.
I would look for another job though (at home, workplaces monitor internet usage and can read your email too depending on the software they use).
I hope you find something soon. :) |
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More bootie than waist!
Posts: 18425
Location: Riding Crackhead. | I'm glad things are working out. I completely understand travel anxiety as I was horrible when my kids were small and I had to travel for my job. Now that they are 18 & 20 I enjoy getting away. LOL Where abouts are you located just in case there's a BB close by that could possibly help you out? |
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Blessed
Location: Here | horsefever - 2014-03-09 1:12 PM Wow thank you all for your kind words and wisdom. I think I have smoothed things over with the boss, he contacted me yesterday. It has been a rough couple of days worrying. I will have to make the trip, and I will find a way to make sure my kids are ok. I may have them spend the night with friends of theirs while I'm gone. I really could not afford to lose this job. I I am, however, going to quietly look for another job in the meantime. I have terrible travel anxiety too! LOL! So I may be medicated for the whole trip anyway. Again, I appreciate so very much all of the helpful information and kind words. It has been a blessing to me.
OH I am so glad you talked to him and are making the trip.
Maybe the travel anxiety was overriding the other stuff a little bit too.
But Yes Friends and sleep overs is a great idea! I bet the other parents won't mind helping you out! |
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Cold hands and Warm Heart
Location: oklahoma | horsefever - 2014-03-09 1:12 PM
Wow thank you all for your kind words and wisdom. I think I have smoothed things over with the boss, he contacted me yesterday. It has been a rough couple of days worrying. I will have to make the trip, and I will find a way to make sure my kids are ok. I may have them spend the night with friends of theirs while I'm gone. I really could not afford to lose this job. I I am, however, going to quietly look for another job in the meantime.
I have terrible travel anxiety too! LOL! So I may be medicated for the whole trip anyway.
Again, I appreciate so very much all of the helpful information and kind words. It has been a blessing to me.
Great news! I bet your kids will have a blast. |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 319
| I'm glad you've worked things out. My boss has to travel alot as part of her job. She is a single parent and her daughter is 8. It's hard for her, but part of the job & she knew this when she took it. Think quietly looking for something else is a good idea if you don't want to travel though. Good luck! |
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 The One
Posts: 7998
Location: South Georgia | I'm glad you got things smoothed over. I would have agreed to make the trip from the start if it was emphasized as being so mandatory and necessary. 12 years is a long time to throw away, especially after a "big raise." Do what you need to do to keep your job. |
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OT- Bad day