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 Expert
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Location: ohio-in my own little world with pretty ponies :) | I feel like I need to rant and fb with family on there isn't a good place to do it.
My mom has always had a rough relationship with her dad. He wasn't around much when she was young and has been more in the last few years but not a lot. None of us are real close to him but we talk every so often and the family gets together every now and then too. He has a hauling business. He has semis, dump trucks and all sorts of equipment. He hauls just about anything for anyone. He gets gravel for my parents driveway and we wanted to extend our drive so we had room to park the trailers. He said no problem and I told him we didn't have a lot of extra money at this time due to moving, building stalls, fencing and all that. And even told him the driveway didn't have to happen right now just know we were wanting it done at some point. That weekend he shows up with the equipment to do everything and assures us that he is taking care of it and jokingly says "don't expect a wedding present from me" ok good it's been 3 weeks since it's been done and he calls my mom last night and tells her(he couldn't even call me) that we owe just under $1,000 for the work!!! What?!?! I am so upset and confused that he did this. Now we have to somehow come up with all this money and still afford everything else....if you can't trust someone in your family...who can you trust? I know we aren't close but he is my grandpa and he gave me his word that he was paying for it and then he does that. Ugh... |
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Hungarian Midget Woman
Location: Midwest | I'd tell them I wasn't paying for it..... But that's just me
I feel your pain. I've had this happen- someone says they will cover it, and then they back out. Lovely, isn't it? In the case I'm talking about, it was medical bills..... |
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 Cute Little Imp
Posts: 2747
Location: N Texas | Yeah, that can be tricky. When I was getting married, my husband's family promised to help pay for some stuff. We were already planning on paying for everything ourselves, but didn't want to turn down offers :) Anyways, after doing lots of shopping and spending hundreds of dollars, they brought me receipts and told me they needed a check. So they ended up contributing zero. Not that I NEEDED them to foot any of the bills, it was just really crappy that they said they would help out and then didn't. |
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  Fact Checker
Posts: 16575
Location: Displaced Iowegian | Welcome to the "real" world........Nothing is EVER free.......I personally would send him a "thank you" card for the wedding present (i.e. driveway)....... |
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Cute Little Imp
Posts: 2747
Location: N Texas | I would tell him there was a big misunderstanding and you thought he was going to cover it, since that's what he said. He never gave you a dollar amount, so you were not expecting it. Tell him if you knew how much it was going to be, that you wouldn't have gone through with it.
Or you can tell him you'll pay him out over the course of a year or so. Don't stress yourself out coming up with the money RIGHT NOW since you told him up front you didn't have the money for it. |
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 Shelter Dog Lover
Posts: 10277
| NJJ - 2014-07-22 11:46 AM Welcome to the "real" world........Nothing is EVER free.......I personally would send him a "thank you" card for the wedding present (i.e. driveway).......
This ^^^ Don't even mention that he told your mother you owe him $$$, make him address it with you. |
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Hungarian Midget Woman
Location: Midwest | Gunner11 - 2014-07-22 11:46 AM Yeah, that can be tricky. When I was getting married, my husband's family promised to help pay for some stuff. We were already planning on paying for everything ourselves, but didn't want to turn down offers :) Anyways, after doing lots of shopping and spending hundreds of dollars, they brought me receipts and told me they needed a check. So they ended up contributing zero. Not that I NEEDED them to foot any of the bills, it was just really crappy that they said they would help out and then didn't.
This happened to me too. "We will cover the bar bill" soon became oh, we are contributing XX to the bar bill.
Don't get me wrong, I am happy they gave us something, but I feel they should not have committed to do something and then turned around and backed out later. |
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Expert
Posts: 2276
Location: ohio-in my own little world with pretty ponies :) | And my moms feels bad too...somehow she thinks it's her fault bc it's her dad and that he shouldn't have done that so they are trying to scrape money to help pay and I don't want that. I knew it would cost a lot but we weren't planning on doing it for a few months and then he said he would do it and cover it so I said go ahead....this is so hard! I'm just going to have to tell him we will make payments for now bc I have a horse that needs to go to the vet and bills! |
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 Midget Lover
Location: Kentucky | Tell him to come get the gravel.... |
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 Shipwrecked and Flat Out Zapped
Posts: 16390
Location: DUMPING CATS AND PIGS IN TEXAS :) | Murphy - 2014-07-22 12:12 PM Tell him to come get the gravel....
Big ol ditto |
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Shipwrecked and Flat Out Zapped
Posts: 16390
Location: DUMPING CATS AND PIGS IN TEXAS :) | ....or, call him to set up a payment plan lol. |
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 Expert
Posts: 1857
| I'm too damn hard headed to pay it if it were me. I'd tell him to come get the gravel if he wants but your not paying....he committed to paying it and now it's his problem! People like that will continue to do stuff like that because people allow it... Good people like you and your mother get stuck with cleaning up others messes. It's his problem not yours! |
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 Expert
Posts: 2457
| rodeomom3 - 2014-07-22 12:03 PM
NJJ - 2014-07-22 11:46 AM Welcome to the "real" world........Nothing is EVER free.......I personally would send him a "thank you" card for the wedding present (i.e. driveway).......
This ^^^ Don't even mention that he told your mother you owe him $$$, make him address it with you.
Hugs lady! Family is tough ... I'd do the above and deal with it directly. |
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"Family" rant....