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boon
Posts: 2
| I am on BHW all the time, using a fake profile to protect people involved in this situation as well the reason I am using the word child instead of son/daughter, BUT I really need some help here. I am currently dating someone whose x-girlfriend (the child mother) is threatening to not allow him to see his child. We live in Mississippi. Now he is an excellent father, he's around all the time, super good with the child. He provides for his child as well as his xgirlfriend at the time. He is afraid to kick her out because she is continuously threatening to take his child away and not allow him to see his child. The house is HIS, he bought & paid for the land & house in full. It's all in his name. I may be rambling & I'm sorry if I am I'm just upset over this mess. Are there any lawyers on here that could help us out or give us some info that would be able to help us? Any other info you may need please just ask . I'm in a tissy as that child is daddy's & my heart & soul, it would absolutely kill us to not be able to see the child. Neither of us do drugs, party, or are in debt. We both have stable homes & keep our bills paid.
Edited by LegalHelp123 2014-08-04 2:58 PM
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 Expert
Posts: 2276
 
Location: ohio-in my own little world with pretty ponies :) | You may want to edit as you said "his daddy" towards the end. No advice but I hope you get it figured out!! |
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 A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
 
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | I would go find a Lawyer in your area and go talk with him/her about this, so that you can get all the right answers. |
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 Tough Patooty
Posts: 2615
Location: Sperry, OK | Most lawyers give a free consultation, if it's a money issue. |
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  Fact Checker
Posts: 16572
Location: Displaced Iowegian | Southtxponygirl - 2014-08-04 2:44 PM I would go find a Lawyer in your area and go talk with him/her about this, so that you can get all the right answers.
^^^^ THIS........every state has different laws regarding custody, support, etc......what you get here will be in generalities which probably wouldn't help you much..... |
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 That's White "Man" to You
Posts: 5515
| To add to the above, go talk to THE VERY BEST lawyer in town. That way "She" can't use him/her.
Edited to add the 't, I'm retarded.
Edited by Whiteboy 2014-08-04 4:52 PM
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 Expert
Posts: 1568
Location: Texas | Legal advice is a must. The father would definitely have an advantage if his name is on the child in questions name is on the birth certificate. The State may request a DNA test to prove parentage. Hopefully he has kept records of all the support and assistance he has given the child. |
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 If it Ain't a Paint it Ain't!
Posts: 8519
Location: Mansfield, Tx | The best attorney in town... not just a random one out of the phone book either....
b/c more than likely it's going to get ugly... and "he" needs to be prepared and know his rights as a father and know what he needs to be ready for.
Edited by RunningOnPaints 2014-08-04 3:47 PM
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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 547
Location: Millington, TN | If you are close to Memphis, pm me. I work at a law firm but we do not practice this type of law but I can refer you to some excellent attorneys. Like everyone else has said, please seek an attorney. If I am not close to you, you can call your local bar assoc. and they can point you in the right direction. I would do this ASAP. I hope this helps.
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I Really Love Jeans
Posts: 3173
Location: North Dakota | It sounds like the father needs to take the X to court and get joint custody legally. That way when he makes the X move out he can call the police if the X trys to keep the child from him!! If he is a good father he will be given joint custody.Maybe the X doesn't have the ability to get her own place to live, maybe her income isn't good enough to move out. Maybe the father can help her get her own place by providing child support above and beyond what he provides the child. If he wasn't married to the X he should get a test to know if the child is his and take her to court period! It is not legal for the mother to keep the child from the father if he gets joint custody! sorry and good luck! On a different note are you sure he wants her to move out? |
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 No Tune in a Bucket
Posts: 2935
Location: Texas | Whiteboy - 2014-08-04 3:15 PM To add to the above, go talk to THE VERY BEST lawyer in town. That way "She" can use him/her.
^^^This. But I think you mean so that she CANNOT use that lawyer. |
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boon
Posts: 2
| He is on his way back from the attorney's office so I will know more about what was said when he gets here. He doesn't deserve this though, out of all the dead beat dads who could care less I feel terrible that he being a loving caring father has to go through this. When he found out she was pregnant he asked her Grandparents (her parents aren't in the picture) for permission to marry her. When he proposed, she threw the ring in his face. He even bought her a brand new car about a year ago trying to make sure the child & her had a safe reliable vehicle. Just seems after everything he has done for them, & beings he is a great father she would atleast try to do what is best for their child & not be spiteful. The situation turns my stomach. |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 1182
Location: Do I hear Banjos? |
If she is making threats its time to lawyer up. If she is using the child to extort the ex it's time to call her bluff. She cannot be allowed to keep him on eggshells in order to preserve his "privilege" to see his own child.
Want good legal advice...get a good attorney that specializes in protecting a father's rights. |
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A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | This sounds like a mess, so she and child are still living with this fella and you are dating him too? If so watch your heart 
Edited by Southtxponygirl 2014-08-04 4:03 PM
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 Works Hard For The Money
Posts: 4469
Location: Memphis, TN | I do not know MS law but in Tennessee if the father and mother were never married the mother has FULL custody of the child regardless if the fathers name is on the birth certificate or not. In order for the father to have LEGAL rights he must go through court and establish custody and visitation. In TN child support is completely separate from custody. I agree get the best lawyer you can. If you are close to Memphis I can give you my lawyers name and number. He just won our case to terminate the parental rights of my sons birth father. You need to be keeping detailed phone records for each month, copies of text messages if you can keep those. keep in mind phones can die at any time so emailing copies or some sort of back up is recommended. Keep track of every single payment and whatever you do don't pay in cash. Journal/log any visitation dates and times, also any time spent extracurricular (sports, church, parties). My sons birth father couldn't provide any of the above because there was none but if there had been the proof was needed in documentation. He said/she said is NOT good. Dates must correspond or any GOOD lawyer will use any tripping over yourself to show doubt/deceit. In TN parental rights can be terminated after 4 months of no contact (token visitation does not count) and/or 4 months of no financial support. If he can prove she DENIED him contact and intentionally refused money you can win your custody case and it looks very very bad for her in court. In my case I provided years of phone records showing where every call and text was returned and showing where he did not contact at all leading to willful neglect on his behalf. Be prepared to spend money but it is something that needs to be fixed legally as soon as you can. |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 1182
Location: Do I hear Banjos? | Southtxponygirl - 2014-08-04 3:58 PM This sounds like a mess, so she and child are still living with this fella and you are dating him too?
See...that's what I got from reading this as well. I sure hope not. If he lives with her still in a house he owns...and he bought her a new car....something weird sounding about all of that for the OP he is dating... |
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 Cute Little Imp
Posts: 2747
Location: N Texas | TrailGirl - 2014-08-04 4:02 PM
Southtxponygirl - 2014-08-04 3:58 PM This sounds like a mess, so she and child are still living with this fella and you are dating him too?
See...that's what I got from reading this as well. I sure hope not. If he lives with her still in a house he owns...and he bought her a new car....something weird sounding about all of that for the OP he is dating...
So what happens if OP and this guy decide to get married? He can't let the ex live there forever! This poor kid...mommy and daddy are living together but don't like each other, and daddy has a girlfriend on the side that I guess can't even come over, but they all still spend time together. Geez, I hope you make him get his stuff straight and get the ex out before you get even more serious. |
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Tough Patooty
Posts: 2615
Location: Sperry, OK | Gunner11 - 2014-08-04 4:26 PM TrailGirl - 2014-08-04 4:02 PM Southtxponygirl - 2014-08-04 3:58 PM This sounds like a mess, so she and child are still living with this fella and you are dating him too? See...that's what I got from reading this as well. I sure hope not. If he lives with her still in a house he owns...and he bought her a new car....something weird sounding about all of that for the OP he is dating... So what happens if OP and this guy decide to get married? He can't let the ex live there forever! This poor kid...mommy and daddy are living together but don't like each other, and daddy has a girlfriend on the side that I guess can't even come over, but they all still spend time together. Geez, I hope you make him get his stuff straight and get the ex out before you get even more serious.
I am thinking maybe the dad lives with the girlfriend and the ex is in his house alone... could be wrong, but that is the feeling I got. |
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Cute Little Imp
Posts: 2747
Location: N Texas | ACEINTHEHOLE - 2014-08-04 4:31 PM
Gunner11 - 2014-08-04 4:26 PM TrailGirl - 2014-08-04 4:02 PM Southtxponygirl - 2014-08-04 3:58 PM This sounds like a mess, so she and child are still living with this fella and you are dating him too? See...that's what I got from reading this as well. I sure hope not. If he lives with her still in a house he owns...and he bought her a new car....something weird sounding about all of that for the OP he is dating... So what happens if OP and this guy decide to get married? He can't let the ex live there forever! This poor kid...mommy and daddy are living together but don't like each other, and daddy has a girlfriend on the side that I guess can't even come over, but they all still spend time together. Geez, I hope you make him get his stuff straight and get the ex out before you get even more serious.
Oh ok, that would make it a LITTLE better. This ex has some real nerve, living in someone else's house, presumably for free and then threatening to keep his child away if he makes her mad. I can't stand people who use their kids as pawns to manipulate each other. |
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Tough Patooty
Posts: 2615
Location: Sperry, OK | Gunner11 - 2014-08-04 4:39 PM ACEINTHEHOLE - 2014-08-04 4:31 PM Gunner11 - 2014-08-04 4:26 PM TrailGirl - 2014-08-04 4:02 PM Southtxponygirl - 2014-08-04 3:58 PM This sounds like a mess, so she and child are still living with this fella and you are dating him too? See...that's what I got from reading this as well. I sure hope not. If he lives with her still in a house he owns...and he bought her a new car....something weird sounding about all of that for the OP he is dating... So what happens if OP and this guy decide to get married? He can't let the ex live there forever! This poor kid...mommy and daddy are living together but don't like each other, and daddy has a girlfriend on the side that I guess can't even come over, but they all still spend time together. Geez, I hope you make him get his stuff straight and get the ex out before you get even more serious. Oh ok, that would make it a LITTLE better. This ex has some real nerve, living in someone else's house, presumably for free and then threatening to keep his child away if he makes her mad. I can't stand people who use their kids as pawns to manipulate each other.
Agreed! She sounds like a piece of work for sure! |
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That's White "Man" to You
Posts: 5515
| RocketPilot - 2014-08-04 3:54 PM Whiteboy - 2014-08-04 3:15 PM To add to the above, go talk to THE VERY BEST lawyer in town. That way "She" can use him/her. ^^^This. But I think you mean so that she CANNOT use that lawyer.
Yes, thanks rocketpilot!! |
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 Not Afraid to Work
Posts: 4717
| I dont mean this to sound harsh but the father should have taken her to court from the VERy beginning! You need to have a custody agreement or she can literally do whatever she wants until there is a court order defining custody (legal and physical).
In MN having his name on the birth certificate means NOTHING... you have to sign a Recognition of Parentage if the two were not married. In MN you are assumed legally the father if you are married.
I know lawyers are expensive but hire the best in town. Document everything that occurs and save all conversations if in writing. Dont feed into her fits and try and stay out of it because all your actions can be used against you as far as the best interest of the child when and if it goes to court.
good luck |
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 Expert
Posts: 1440
Location: Texas | I may be the odd person out but I'd he SURE via DNA that he is indeed the father? If he asked her to marry him and she threw the ring in his face she may just be stringing him along for a free ride. Regardless a good lawyer is in order |
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Boot Detective
Posts: 1898
| I would advise the "baby daddy" to take that baby and have it DNA tested (without her knowing) first and foremost. Then he will have the evidence he will need in court to establish visitation rights. I agree with all the other comments to go to the BEST attorney and save all records of financial support and conversations. The next advice I have (I apologize in advance but I have closely watched a similar situation) is get OUT of that relationship until he washes his hands of the "baby mama". She should not be living with him in his house if he is dating you. That is a huge disrespect for you and you can bet there is still something going on between them. I know a guy that talks SO BAD about his ex, rants on and on about how psycho she is, blah, blah, hates her, blah, blah, but then everybody sees him talking to her frequently in public and hanging out with her like that is his best friend. His fiance was so shocked to see his phone records and text msgs between him and "psycho ex". (He was deleting all his msgs and swearing he ignores all her msgs). I hope your situation is different but definitely keep both eyes wide open. |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 1182
Location: Do I hear Banjos? | I hope the OP comes back on and updates us...and clears up the questions about the living situation etc. I know it's none of our business...but she has made it a big curiosity for us. I also hope for the child's sake that the parents can get it all ironed out. The children always lose in these things...and they are the only innocent party. |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 915
Location: SE KS | angelica - 2014-08-04 3:53 PM
It sounds like the father needs to take the X to court and get joint custody legally. That way when he makes the X move out he can call the police if the X trys to keep the child from him!! If he is a good father he will be given joint custody.Maybe the X doesn't have the ability to get her own place to live, maybe her income isn't good enough to move out. Maybe the father can help her get her own place by providing child support above and beyond what he provides the child. If he wasn't married to the X he should get a test to know if the child is his and take her to court period! It is not legal for the mother to keep the child from the father if he gets joint custody! sorry and good luck! On a different note are you sure he wants her to move out?
It may not be legal for the X to keep the child away from its father, but that doesn't stop them from doing it!!!!
I know, been there done that!!!!! |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 831
| barrelracin85 - 2014-08-04 3:58 PM
I do not know MS law but in Tennessee if the father and mother were never married the mother has FULL custody of the child regardless if the fathers name is on the birth certificate or not. In order for the father to have LEGAL rights he must go through court and establish custody and visitation. In TN child support is completely separate from custody. I agree get the best lawyer you can. If you are close to Memphis I can give you my lawyers name and number. He just won our case to terminate the parental rights of my sons birth father. You need to be keeping detailed phone records for each month, copies of text messages if you can keep those. keep in mind phones can die at any time so emailing copies or some sort of back up is recommended. Keep track of every single payment and whatever you do don't pay in cash. Journal/log any visitation dates and times, also any time spent extracurricular (sports, church, parties). My sons birth father couldn't provide any of the above because there was none but if there had been the proof was needed in documentation. He said/she said is NOT good. Dates must correspond or any GOOD lawyer will use any tripping over yourself to show doubt/deceit. In TN parental rights can be terminated after 4 months of no contact (token visitation does not count) and/or 4 months of no financial support. If he can prove she DENIED him contact and intentionally refused money you can win your custody case and it looks very very bad for her in court. In my case I provided years of phone records showing where every call and text was returned and showing where he did not contact at all leading to willful neglect on his behalf. Be prepared to spend money but it is something that needs to be fixed legally as soon as you can.
Dang I wish it was like that in Texas!! Dead beat dads are heroes around here!! 
I wish I had some advice for u!! But I honestly really don't!
Edited by ready2rodeo 2014-08-05 3:00 PM
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LEGAL ADVICE NEEDED INVOLVING A CHILD