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  Damn Yankee
Posts: 12390
   
Location: Somewhere between raising hell and Amazing Grace | So crucify me now and get it over with, or just don't ready it, because the fact is, I have nowhere else to ask.....
Ok...this may be totally inappropriate to post here, but where else do I ask??? Are there any woman on here, or do you guys know of any woman, who never had children, didn't know whether they wanted to or not, but either way they ended up having a hysterectomy at a young age? Like 34 or so or younger? Regrets? Pros? Cons? Yes, there is a medical reason to have it done. Surgeons are all suggesting it and I know it's the best thing for my body, but dang it's such a huge decision..... |
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The Advice Guru
Posts: 6419
| I know a few who have, the biggest problem with having a complete hysterectomy is developing osteoporosis. Early menopause, hormone replacement therapy which also has a long list of side effects.
The risks lower if a partial hysterectomy is performed, leaving the ovaries.
Good luck on your decision. |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 1094
Location: Idahome | I can't help here, but many  . I can only imagine the decision to be made. |
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 Shelter Dog Lover
Posts: 10277
| That is such a personal decision as to have children or not and there is no right or wrong answer. You do not need to put your health at risk. I really posted to say that there are other ways of becoming a parent if you decide you want children. My neice is not able to have children and within 4 months of becoming approved as a foster parent she and her husband have a 2 year old little girl and twin newborns they are fostering to adopt. |
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 Dr. Ruth
Posts: 9891
Location: Blissfully happy Giants fan!!! | I haven't had it but I know it would take away a lot of issues I have. But I have yet to have ANY doctor say they would do it until I am past 35. And I have seen a lot of doctors in my short life span... |
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Damn Yankee
Posts: 12390
Location: Somewhere between raising hell and Amazing Grace | cheryl makofka - 2014-08-07 3:32 PM I know a few who have, the biggest problem with having a complete hysterectomy is developing osteoporosis. Early menopause, hormone replacement therapy which also has a long list of side effects. The risks lower if a partial hysterectomy is performed, leaving the ovaries. Good luck on your decision.
Those risks aren't as bad as the risks if I don't have it done :( |
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Damn Yankee
Posts: 12390
Location: Somewhere between raising hell and Amazing Grace | rodeomom3 - 2014-08-07 3:40 PM That is such a personal decision as to have children or not and there is no right or wrong answer. You do not need to put your health at risk. I really posted to say that there are other ways of becoming a parent if you decide you want children. My neice is not able to have children and within 4 months of becoming approved as a foster parent she and her husband have a 2 year old little girl and twin newborns they are fostering to adopt.
We already know we will foster/adopt someday. We aren't ready now, but someday |
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The Advice Guru
Posts: 6419
| Depending on your beliefs you could discuss with your doctor about harvesting a few eggs prior to surgery, then if you decide you want children later on, there are surrogate wombs available.
Last time I heard in Alberta womb rental was 10k. You never know a friend may offer to carry the child for you for free.
There are also many children who need adoption.
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Damn Yankee
Posts: 12390
Location: Somewhere between raising hell and Amazing Grace | cheryl makofka - 2014-08-07 3:51 PM Depending on your beliefs you could discuss with your doctor about harvesting a few eggs prior to surgery, then if you decide you want children later on, there are surrogate wombs available. Last time I heard in Alberta womb rental was 10k. You never know a friend may offer to carry the child for you for free. There are also many children who need adoption.
No, we wouldn't go that route. We will adopt some day when we are ready. |
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The Advice Guru
Posts: 6419
| missroselee - 2014-08-07 2:48 PM
cheryl makofka - 2014-08-07 3:32 PM I know a few who have, the biggest problem with having a complete hysterectomy is developing osteoporosis. Early menopause, hormone replacement therapy which also has a long list of side effects. The risks lower if a partial hysterectomy is performed, leaving the ovaries. Good luck on your decision.
Those risks aren't as bad as the risks if I don't have it done :(
There are treatments for most medical conditions, and you can always be proactive on the osteoporosis and start taking calcium and vitamin d in dosages your doctor recommends.
As you probably know there are risks to any surgery, which your doctor should discuss with you. |
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Shelter Dog Lover
Posts: 10277
| missroselee - 2014-08-07 2:49 PM rodeomom3 - 2014-08-07 3:40 PM That is such a personal decision as to have children or not and there is no right or wrong answer. You do not need to put your health at risk. I really posted to say that there are other ways of becoming a parent if you decide you want children. My neice is not able to have children and within 4 months of becoming approved as a foster parent she and her husband have a 2 year old little girl and twin newborns they are fostering to adopt. We already know we will foster/adopt someday. We aren't ready now, but someday
We love those foster babies just as much as the other babies in our family. The 2 year is smart as a whip and very articulate. She has only been part of our family for a few months but we brag on her like we had something to do with how smart she is. We just gush all over her  |
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I just read the headlines
Posts: 4483
| Please do what is best for Your health! |
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Damn Yankee
Posts: 12390
Location: Somewhere between raising hell and Amazing Grace | cheryl makofka - 2014-08-07 3:54 PM missroselee - 2014-08-07 2:48 PM cheryl makofka - 2014-08-07 3:32 PM I know a few who have, the biggest problem with having a complete hysterectomy is developing osteoporosis. Early menopause, hormone replacement therapy which also has a long list of side effects. The risks lower if a partial hysterectomy is performed, leaving the ovaries. Good luck on your decision. Those risks aren't as bad as the risks if I don't have it done :( There are treatments for most medical conditions, and you can always be proactive on the osteoporosis and start taking calcium and vitamin d in dosages your doctor recommends. As you probably know there are risks to any surgery, which your doctor should discuss with you.
I'm already on treatments. A hysterectomy will be my only option at some point so why wait if I can make the decision right now? i take Rx calcium and d3. Have been on it for a while because we knew it would come to this at some point. I'm just trying to talk about my feelings before I make one. |
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Damn Yankee
Posts: 12390
Location: Somewhere between raising hell and Amazing Grace | I guess a lil more information would be that I have been on Lupron for 60 days. It's a drug that puts you into medical menopause.
The first 30 days were rough, as I was warned they would be. The last 30 days, despite the side affects, have been amazing. |
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The Resident Destroyer of Liberal Logic
Location: PNW | My sister-in-law had a hysterectomy in her early 20s because of an insane case of endometriosis. Her and my brother-in-law didn't have kids, and decided not to adopt. She says the hardest thing was the early menopause. Even though they gave her replacements, she still struggled with her hormones for a long time. Good luck!! |
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The Resident Destroyer of Liberal Logic
Location: PNW | Surrogacy is WAY more expensive than 10k. My mother was a surrogate TWICE. The average cost to do surrogacy is around 40k. The clients pay ALL medical costs - not insurance, PLUS the "womb rental" as you called it - which goes up in cost if you end up with multiples. My mom have birth to two sets of surrogate TRIPLETS. Surrogacy is by no means a cheap or easy route.
ETA: this was in response to Cheryl. Somehow the quote function failed
Edited by svincent 2014-08-07 3:16 PM
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The Advice Guru
Posts: 6419
| missroselee - 2014-08-07 2:57 PM
cheryl makofka - 2014-08-07 3:54 PM missroselee - 2014-08-07 2:48 PM cheryl makofka - 2014-08-07 3:32 PM I know a few who have, the biggest problem with having a complete hysterectomy is developing osteoporosis. Early menopause, hormone replacement therapy which also has a long list of side effects. The risks lower if a partial hysterectomy is performed, leaving the ovaries. Good luck on your decision. Those risks aren't as bad as the risks if I don't have it done :( There are treatments for most medical conditions, and you can always be proactive on the osteoporosis and start taking calcium and vitamin d in dosages your doctor recommends. As you probably know there are risks to any surgery, which your doctor should discuss with you.
I was talking post surgery
Hormone replacement therapy, depending on your medical history you may want to discuss with your doc if this is an option, as my understanding is it can increase your chance of heart attack or stroke in some individuals.
Weight gain
Osteoporosis, there is didrocal, not many side effects to that, but doesn't work for all
You might become at risk for heart disease, this you will need to speak to your doc about as I cannot remember what the literature was saying.
Your emotional well being you are going to go through the stages of loss, this will be normal, you may need to speak to a professional to help you get through the stages, and how to deal with the emotions.
Hot and cold flashes
The other thing is you may feel like a million bucks after and have very few side effects and wonder why you didn't do it sooner. |
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 Expert
Posts: 1440
Location: Texas | I would not hesitate to do it. I am 44 and never had kids and it was my decision for a lot of reasons. If a doctors told me that I needed a hysterectomy I would do it to improve the quality of my life. Yes, you will have issues due to changes in hormones etc but it is better than being sick or miserable all the time. I guess I wonder what makes you hesitant to have the operation? If doctors say you need it and have exhausted all other options why not have it. |
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 Angel in a Sorrel Coat
Posts: 16030
Location: In a happy place | I guess I am going to sound blunt but here goes. I would get the hysterectomy. I have read enough of your posts that in my opinion I think you would be better off doing it. You and your husband would make wonderful parents and later if you want to adopt it would be a super option.
You need to take care of you. |
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 Husband Spoiler
Posts: 4151
Location: North Dakota | I think you have made your decision but you want a support system for encouragement. I say go for it! If you are miserable and think it is the only way to feel better and for a chance to get healthy once again then absolutely do it. |
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Damn Yankee
Posts: 12390
Location: Somewhere between raising hell and Amazing Grace | I think you guys are right. I know I want it. I just have never had to make a permanent decision like this. I have always preached to folks who are torn about change, that if they don't like it, they can always go back or change it again. Well....this is the first time that won't work |
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 I Prefer to Live in Fantasy Land
Posts: 64864
Location: In the Hills of Texas | I had a complete Hysterectomy when I was 30 years old and I would do it again in a heartbeat. I used the hormone patches for 2 years and then quit.
We had one child and I went to 3 different doctors before I found one that what do it as most thought I should suffer through because I might change my mind about wanting another child.
Quit letting peopletry to decide what is good for you.
I find it interesting, that in polls, the happiest couples are childless. To be blunt...there is no way I would want to bring a child into the world today so it would all be a no brainer.
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Damn Yankee
Posts: 12390
Location: Somewhere between raising hell and Amazing Grace | Well on the plus side, nobody is pushing me one way or the other :) In fact, everybody that knows me personally, husband and docs and family, are trying to gently encourage me to have it done. When I say gently, I mean they want me to, but they also know that I am struggling a bit with the decision and they don't want me to feel like I'm being pushed into it.
My biggest thing is not the idea of not being able to have children. I know josh and I will be perfectly fine with or without kids.
My biggest concern is my health afterwards. Are the benefits really worth it? Do they outweight any possible side affects? And from this thread, and the PMs I am getting, I am hearing positive stories have ladies who are very very happy that they chose to have it done, and that is helping tremendously.
I just don't want to commit to it, have it done, and then hate the side affects so bad afterwards that I can't stand it.
However, like I said, I'm on Lupron. Medical menopause. And I am in love with it....so does that mean there is a very good chance that I will feel the same with a hysto?
I know, I have to ask my doc that question, but I haven't seen him in four weeks since the second injection and the last four have been the best. I do need to see him again for the third shot in 60 days and we will talk more about it. He's just a guy though. And my best friend is my husband. So I don't really have any females that I can confide my feelings with. Except you guys :) |
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Blessed 
Location: Here | sorrel horse ranch - 2014-08-07 3:33 PM I guess I am going to sound blunt but here goes. I would get the hysterectomy. I have read enough of your posts that in my opinion I think you would be better off doing it. You and your husband would make wonderful parents and later if you want to adopt it would be a super option.
You need to take care of you.
I agree!!! |
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Sock Snob
Posts: 3021
| I was 40 when i had mine done and i never had any children, my other half already had a child and he was i did not want children. I started having problems at 35 my hormones said i was close to menopause and at 39 started having problems and my mother died at 50 with ovarian cancer, so i was in the doc office every six months for checkups. So, i started having peroids for months instead of days. I told him to take the stuff out never regretted it. After surgery he came upstairs and told me i had the worse case of endometosis he had ever seen and told me i should have been screaming. I asked him what difference what it what it made. All he could do is drop his head. All the ultrasound never showed any of that only the fibroid cyst that they did surgery for. I believe the surgery saved me from a bad diagnosis. |
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 Worst.Housekeeper.EVER.
Location: Missouri | I am 35 and have three children. I had an ectopic pregnancy in May and had to have emergency surgery. They did a bilateral salpingectomy, and although I knew we were done having children, the part where you have to sign on the line pre-op that you will be infertile forever really got to me. Of course, I lost my baby too, and the whole thing was a nightmare.
At my follow-up, my OB informed me that I needed a hysterectomy. I'm struggling horribly with the decision, and it's not b/c of the infertility issue anymore. My mom had a complete hysterectomy at a young age (early 30's) after having all three of us. My life as a child was HELL. Every day was spent walking on egg shells, wondering if mom's hormones were "balanced" or not. She had to rotate patches, injections, creams, etc. I have told my doctor that I will only do it if he promises not to touch my ovaries. I will NOT put my children through that! I know everyone reacts differently, but considering my genetics, I need my ovaries in order not to be a lunatic. Also, there's something about losing my uterus that makes me feel like less of a woman, less of a human, imcomplete, scarred, and honestly, unloveable. (yikes, that's the first time I've confessed that part...)
I know it's a tough decision, and hearing stories might make it harder for you. Just talk to you doctor, get second and third opinions, and do what your heart tells you. (Easier said than done, I completely understand!!! I'm right there with you!)
Hugs and prayers! |
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I'm a Cry Baby
Posts: 3781
Location: n.c. | Both of my sisters had hysterectomies in their twenties. Both would not change a thing. They are healthy and happy.
Another friend had it done later in life due to endometriosis attaching to other organs. It was do the surgery or; well, you know.
Do the surgery. You are a healthy enough person to offset the normal side effects. And you will feel much, much better. |
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"Heck's Coming With Me"
Posts: 10797
Location: Kansas | I had a hysterectomy at 36. Not much choice. I had fibroid tumors and endometriosis. ......was in pain and my moods swings were absurd. After the surgery I felt sooooo much better. No more periods either (yippee). 30 years later I do have osteoporosis but whose to say I wouldn't have it anyway. |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 596
Location: Somewhere in the middle of nowhere | I had my hysterectomy when I was 35...it was a very difficult decision for me even though I had already had my children and did not want more, this was just....final.....it did take me 2 years for finally start feeling better but my case was rare, my doctor had been practicing for more than 40 years and he said he had never seen so much scar tissue. To this day, it is the best decision I have made and yes I got to keep my ovaries. |
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 I Am Always Right
Posts: 4264
Location: stray dump capital of the world | I had a hysterectomy when I was 26. I had horrible endometriosis and was told I'd never have children. I became pregnant 2 months after I was married and then had my second son at 25. In a weird sort of fate, I became pregnant again at 26 on birth control. (For someone who was to never have kids, I turned out to be a pretty fertile Myrtle.) The last pregnancy ended in a miscarriage at 5 months and the insane amount of blood loss during the miscarriage resulted in an emergency hysterectomy. I didn't even realize it was going to happen. I thought I was going in for a DNC, but the blood loss was too severe. Nonetheless, while I constantly mourn the loss of my last child, the hysterectomy was by far the best thing that could have happened. I was horribly miserable from the time I started my cycle as a senior in high school until the age of 26. I literally bled all the stinking time and the cramping was horrid. I only had a menstral cycle for ~10 years, but it was pure hell. I am now 52 and never suffered any of the terrible side effects I was warned about due to the hysterectomy. I only began using a compounded hormone called tri-est due to my gyno's suggestion. I've only been on it about 15 years and honestly, I can't tell a difference if I'm on it or not.
Best of luck on your decision. If my body hadn't had given out on me in that emergency situation, I don't know what I would have decided. Fortunately for me, my husband had to make the call. |
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 Reaching for the stars....
Posts: 12708
| missroselee - 2014-08-07 2:23 PM So crucify me now and get it over with, or just don't ready it, because the fact is, I have nowhere else to ask.....
Ok...this may be totally inappropriate to post here, but where else do I ask??? Are there any woman on here, or do you guys know of any woman, who never had children, didn't know whether they wanted to or not, but either way they ended up having a hysterectomy at a young age? Like 34 or so or younger? Regrets? Pros? Cons? Yes, there is a medical reason to have it done. Surgeons are all suggesting it and I know it's the best thing for my body, but dang it's such a huge decision.....
Two circumstances -
First, I had a daughter in 1986, gave her up for adoption, and had my tubes cut - burned - tied - everything to keep from conceiving again. I was 24. I always thought that technology would advance and I could do IVF if I wanted children. I was right about the technology, but I never got the strong urge to have children.
Then there's my daughter. She has been plagued with female problems since her teens. Last year she had a hysterectomy. She is 28. She is still having serious medical issues but I don't know the exact nature of them all. I will venture a guess that she will not regret the no children part either, but some day in the future it could happen. She can always complete the circle and adopt and has mentioned that in more than one conversation we've had.
If your condition puts you at high risk then trying to have/having a child could mean that you'd leave a child without a mother. If not having the hysterectomy could mean you could develop a life threatening condition even without involving pregnancy issues then you owe it to your wonderful husband to go that direction.
There is more than one way to have a child. There are worse things than not having children. I will miss not having grandchildren I think more than anything. |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 928
Location: Bigfoot Country | I had one when I was younger for medical reasons, and never had children. They left my ovaries so didn't need hormones till just recently. I use BioIdentical Hormones and I feel great! If adoption is an option for you, then by all means have the surgery! No more periods!!! yay!!
Calcium, magnesium and D3 are all important for women and bone health, regardless if you are spayed or not.
lol
I tell all my animal friends I have been 'spayed' lol |
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 Love Me Some Robert Redford
Posts: 2335
Location: WV | I am not going to be much help but the only thing some of the women I know have gone into early menopause. Many hugs to you for the rough decisions you have to make. |
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Sideways Riding Expert
Posts: 11371
Location: ND--it snows, it floods, it snows, it floods | I had one at 30 and not necessarily by choice but I'm going on 7 years cancer free because of it. We do not have kids not do I think we will but we have dogs who are spoiled and great nieces and nephews that we spoil. I know it bugs hubby sometimes that we don't have any kids but I'm fine with it I guess. I've never been the kid wanting type so I can deal with it. You can pm if you want any time. |
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Damn Yankee
Posts: 12390
Location: Somewhere between raising hell and Amazing Grace | Thank you everyone! You have helped way more then you could ever imagine! |
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 Serious Snap Trapper
Posts: 4275
Location: In The Snow, AZ | My SIL had a full hysterectomy several years back. She's in her mid 30's. I believe it was due to the fact that she kept developing cancerous lumps in her reproductive organs. She has never wanted kids. She's a teacher and says she is around kids as much as she wants to be....then they go home. LOL. So, for her, it worked. Big decision though. Good luck with whatever you choose. |
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Yes another female medical question post....