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Expert
Posts: 2685
   
| I'm sorry for posting something like this and it's embarrassing but I'm not ok. I don't know what to do next. Truck on. I get that, but why? I would post all of the crap that has happened this month but really there is too much. I have tried to make life better for myself by looking at things differently and trying to be the person I want to be. I have spent my entire check that I received the week of my birthday (8/8) on medical stuff for 2 of my 3 horses. I broke the back glass out of my truck the day after my birthday. Tonight I go get my navicular mare out of her stall and her neck is the size of a tree trunk. My generator vibrated a hole in the top of my trailer.
This has been the hardest month I have had since I can remember. I'm sorry I'm being such a whiney baby. I texted my dad for encouragement. You don't even want to know what I got instead. He used to be my rock. Now I don't even know who he is.
I don't have anyone to turn to. I keep thinking I deserve this. I've done something to deserve this. This started a year and half ago and has not gotten better. I am waiving my white flag. I give. |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 720
| I've tried three times to type something that will help you. In all honesty, I don't know exactly what to say to make you feel better. Just know that I care enough about you to try. It does seem to all come crashing down all at once, and it does happen to most people, you are not alone. And you've certainly done nothing to "deserve" this! It does get better, it does get easier. You may have to get a second job for a while, or sell some stuff to help get those bills under control, but, sweetie, don't give up. |
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Expert
Posts: 2685
| Thank you for caring, seriously. It means a lot. My bills are good when things are t dying and crashing and breaking. I don't know how I have managed to cover it all. Maybe that's the bright side...
Thank you though really. |
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Red Bull Agressive
Posts: 5981
Location: North Dakota | Aw that does sound rough. I wish I had something to say that would make it better. Up till I moved 2 years ago, I had 5 years of pure hell. I won't bore you with my tales of woe, but I'll just say it sucked. BUT it got better! And I'm sure it will for you too! |
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 Texas Taco
Posts: 7499
Location: Bandera, TX | Always keep in mind; whats's up will come down again, and what's down will eventually come up again! The only impact you have is how you handle the ups as well as the downs.
There will be great years, and bad ones. My year is not going good either and I am very frustrated, however I know it will turn around again eventually (hopefully soon)...
Hang in there - life sucks sometimes! |
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The Advice Guru
Posts: 6419
| Happy belated birthday
It will get better, the trailer can be fixed, for now just patch it with a piece of tarp and duct tape.
Sometimes with horses you need to cut your losses, I believe the one is not your horse and your paying all vet bills, maybe it is time to send the horse back, save your money and buy a prospect.
I know we get attached and love the horses, but some things are not meant to be, maybe that horse needs a different purpose in life.
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 A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | Sorry that you are going threw a hard time in your life, prayers that things start to turn around for you real soon.. You sound really young, how old are you? You dont have to answer that question if you dont want too but just wondering, hugs  |
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Expert
Posts: 2685
| I am really young. 20. I try not to sound young though I guess a post like this kind of shows my immaturity.
Thanks to everyone by the way. I'll get agrip and be back at it tomorrow I'm sure. It just all seemed to pile up so fast. The horses, the truck, the trailer, family ugh. |
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A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | RoaniePonie11 - 2014-08-21 11:12 PM I am really young. 20. I try not to sound young though I guess a post like this kind of shows my immaturity. Thanks to everyone by the way. I'll get agrip and be back at it tomorrow I'm sure. It just all seemed to pile up so fast. The horses, the truck, the trailer, family ugh.
No you dont sound immature to me at all, you just sounded young. And yep your a young girl and I bet tomorrow you will wake up feeling better, so eat a good breakfast and shake your fist at that devil thats making you feel this way and tell that Devil to just move on, you dont have time for this kind of stuff.... Hugs |
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  Angel in a Sorrel Coat
Posts: 16030
Location: In a happy place | I really don't have a lot of advice. I pretty much have issues most days. Just hang in there and keep trying to go forward. Know that I do care about what is happening to you. You have my prayers for strength. |
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 Accident Prone
Posts: 22277
Location: 100 miles from Nowhere, AR | Without trials, we cannot grow. Without heartache, we cannot recognize joy.
This is is part of being a grownup, and an opportunity to grow in your faith and as a person. Take a deep breath, pray for strength and guidance, and tackle one thing at a time. Eventually, you will look around and realize you walked through the fire and survived.
Something you will notice is that bad things, hard things, tend to come in clusters and make you go WTH is coming next? I don't know why this is, but it's one of Life's Truths. LOL |
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 Shelter Dog Lover
Posts: 10277
| This too shall pass. When things like this happen to me I try to remind myself that I am lucky these are the problems I am dealing with, I am lucky to have horses, heartaches and all. Hugs and yes, keep on trucking on. From your posts you are a strong responsible young woman, you will make it! |
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Draw the Line
Posts: 1371
Location: Too Far North | You are entitled to a pity party!!
Take a day and do something nice for yourself then get on with things! This would get anyone down. Years from now you can give someone else encouragement and say, yep, been there, done that and survived! |
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 pressure dripper
Posts: 8699
Location: the end of the rainbow | I have no words of wisdom but I do have plenty of prayers for you. |
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 Coyote Country Queen
Posts: 5666
| Awhile back someone on here posted this advice and it has stuck with me. "Hope for the best. Prepare for the worst. And deal with whatever comes your way." That has really gotten me through some tough times.
I honestly think that we all go through these things, some of us more often than others! And I'm not going to say that there aren't days that I throw my sucker in the dirt and have a pity party! But then you gather yourself back up and keep on keepin' on. Don't feel like you're alone in this, it really does happen to us all.
Keep your head up. And never forget that your BBs here on BHW are always here to listen. |
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 Playing the Waiting Game
Posts: 2304
| sorrel horse ranch - 2014-08-22 6:29 AM I really don't have a lot of advice. I pretty much have issues most days. Just hang in there and keep trying to go forward. Know that I do care about what is happening to you. You have my prayers for strength.
What she said... BUT be happy you have your health!! All that other stuff is just STUFF... Money will come and go... GOOD health when it goes THEN you have some REAL problems...
In my life I have had cancer 3 times, open heart surgery, my house burned down, and many other surgeries too numerous to mention.
Many people keep telling me that if I didn't have bad luck I'd have NO luck at all.
I tell them I have GOOD luck! I'm still here and can function pretty well most days. I am thankful that I had good health insurance for all my treatments and the Dr.s found my cancers early enough to get me in remition and there was no one people or animal injured in my house when it burned to the ground.
I'm not looking for sympathy I just want you to see what is really important. You have friends that do care. |
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 Expert
Posts: 2457
| Chin up lady! You will get through it and having a pity party occasionally helps us all bring life back into perspective.
On those days, I like to eat my favorite foods, lay on the couch with my dog, and peruse the internets. Then at the end, make a list of things I am going to accomplish the next day. You'd be surprise how rejuvenated ya feel the next day to tackle what life is throwing at you.
The hard times help us appreciate the really good times. I'll add ya to my prayer list and feel free to PM me and talk anytime. I will listen. |
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 Shipwrecked and Flat Out Zapped
Posts: 16390
Location: DUMPING CATS AND PIGS IN TEXAS :) | Just hold on. I went through a rough patch recently and I came here. The love I received was overwhelming and it pulled me back up again. Maybe, make a list of priorities and put the most absolute important thing first and keep ranking everything. Then, just concentrate on #1 first. Scratch it off and move to #2. I know it's easier said than done, but try not to let the magnitude get to you and simplify it as much as possible. Like Cheryl said, sell a horse or two if you have to.....regroup and try again.
I'm here if you need to talk......it will all be ok in the end. Just keep holding on. Hugs :) |
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 Expert
Posts: 2097
Location: Deep South | I love this picture. And keep this saying close to my heart when I'm struggling with whatever life throws at me.
I often hear people say that God will never give you more than you can handle, but I have to disagree. Sometimes I think he does give us more than we can handle alone in hopes that we will turn to Him and ask him to help share our burdens.
I'm sure you've had hard times before now. Do you think you would be the person you are today without them?
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Expert
Posts: 2097
Location: Deep South | LRQHS - 2014-08-22 9:46 AM
Just hold on. I went through a rough patch recently and I came here. The love I received was overwhelming and it pulled me back up again. Maybe, make a list of priorities and put the most absolute important thing first and keep ranking everything. Then, just concentrate on #1 first. Scratch it off and move to #2. I know it's easier said than done, but try not to let the magnitude get to you and simplify it as much as possible. Like Cheryl said, sell a horse or two if you have to.....regroup and try again.
I'm here if you need to talk......it will all be ok in the end. Just keep holding on. Hugs :)
I'm so glad you are feeling better. You have been on my heart as well. Really enjoy your positive attitude. :) |
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Shipwrecked and Flat Out Zapped
Posts: 16390
Location: DUMPING CATS AND PIGS IN TEXAS :) | BamaCanChaser - 2014-08-22 9:54 AM LRQHS - 2014-08-22 9:46 AM Just hold on. I went through a rough patch recently and I came here. The love I received was overwhelming and it pulled me back up again. Maybe, make a list of priorities and put the most absolute important thing first and keep ranking everything. Then, just concentrate on #1 first. Scratch it off and move to #2. I know it's easier said than done, but try not to let the magnitude get to you and simplify it as much as possible. Like Cheryl said, sell a horse or two if you have to.....regroup and try again.
I'm here if you need to talk......it will all be ok in the end. Just keep holding on. Hugs :) I'm so glad you are feeling better. You have been on my heart as well. Really enjoy your positive attitude. : )
Thank you, Bama. I really, really appreciate you and everyone else that lifted me when I was feeling so horrible :) |
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 Neat Freak
Posts: 11216
Location: Wonderful Wyoming | I'm right there with you. For me it has been going on 3 years-horse problems at least. I try and look at the positives and try and put things in perspective. My dad was a turd this week too. I called him the night we put our stud down and he just said something about him not costing anymore money!?! really!!! he put $7,000 THOUSAND dollars in a dog because she blew out both her knees within a few months of having her. Sorry for the rant, but don't think it is you, or anything you are doing wrong. It just happens. In the words of Joe Dirt, keep on keepin on. |
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A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | Checking up on you this morning RoaniePonie, hope that you have a good start to this day |
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Shipwrecked and Flat Out Zapped
Posts: 16390
Location: DUMPING CATS AND PIGS IN TEXAS :) | Listen to Alabama Shakes song Hold On. It helps me :) |
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A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas |
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Expert
Posts: 2685
| thank you thank you everyone.
I feel better this morning. I worked all night but I got to nap from 3a-5a lol. My tree trunk necked horse seems a little better. Still not sure what that's all about. My child, Sister, the bone spur and cannon bone/splint bone horse is feeling wonderful and her lump on her leg is down. Honestly the best part of this morning was coming into the barn to find that they didn't destroy their stalls like pigs like they usually do. |
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Playing the Waiting Game
Posts: 2304
| RoaniePonie11 - 2014-08-22 12:05 PM thank you thank you everyone. I feel better this morning. I worked all night but I got to nap from 3a-5a lol. My tree trunk necked horse seems a little better. Still not sure what that's all about. My child, Sister, the bone spur and cannon bone/splint bone horse is feeling wonderful and her lump on her leg is down. Honestly the best part of this morning was coming into the barn to find that they didn't destroy their stalls like pigs like they usually do.
SEE you found a positive for today!!! YAY... WE do all care... |
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 Half-Eaten Cookies
Posts: 2076
Location: Fort Worth / Springtown | I love the picture posted that says to kneel when life gives you more than you can stand. I was thinking about your year and a half time frame for rough times, and I was wondering about God's concept of time, and it is not the same as it seems to you and I. This too shall pass, it just may take longer than you would like. It's been over 3 years that I seem to have been in a slump, but that's nothing to God or even the span of my life - and a lot of blessings have came in those 3+ years, also. These are challenges - embrace them - you can learn lots and conquer them - and don't let the devil get you down!
I am certain that by going through things like this, you are learning - these people that are able to give you advice about your trunk neck and other things, have been there, too. You will soon be able to help someone else with your experiences. Learn all you can - grow wise and don't despair. Just like the tree that gets stronger as the wind blows...
Just by having 3 horses and a trailer with a generator, you are doing alright. Stay strong! |
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 Own It and Move On
Location: The edge of no where | MS2011 - 2014-08-22 2:30 PM Keep on trucking! Just go at it one day at a time.....unfortunately it's just life. You're not doing anything wrong...
Nothing seems easy lately..I had to put my dog down 2 wks ago, congestive heart failure that I've been doing everything possible to treat. I've got a bad back but I was so upset when I brought her home that I worked on digging her grave = extreme back pain ever since and getting my SI joints injected today... more $$$$$. We have to have a new septic system put in... ins won't cover it. I've had a root canal and have to get a crown next week. I feel like a money pit and I miss my dog - she's been my shadow and best friend for lots of years. My other dog is heartbroken. I have a nice horse that I want to run at Jud's futurity.... Have to pay that by the end of this month... normally I would just stay home, but I've only got one shot to futurity her and it's this year. So we just go one day at a time and hustle our butts off.... Hang in there.
On the comical side... we just bought a new truck two months ago, ours was done. It's a base dodge, but it's a big deal to us. Hubby dented the CRAP out of the tailgate when a flatbed came unhitched and bounced up. First new thing we've had.....this is why we can't seem to have nice things...
Just stand up and laugh at the insanity of it all and know this too shall pass.
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 Making the post season
Posts: 7288
Location: your guess is as good as mine | Many prayers for you...glad today is somewhat better. After over 6 years of heartache & counting, I found a quote from Sonia Ricotti and have held onto it like a talisman...especially the last couple of months. Hopefully it will help you as much as it's helped me...
"Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be."
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 I Prefer to Live in Fantasy Land
Posts: 64864
Location: In the Hills of Texas | Sending prayers and hugs.  |
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Expert
Posts: 1586
Location: west of East Texas | Sometimes the only 'good' you can find in a day is that you had another day. Remember to feel blessed that you have horses and trailers and trucks to give you grief. Sometimes when I'm fed up, I'll go ahead and give myself a window of time to just totally be whiny and feel sorry for myself. Then I ask myself "If I didn't have deal with this problem... would I miss it (the horse, the truck, the trailer)?" If the answer is yes... I doctor it or repair it and keep on moving. Hope you feel better soon and the tides turn for you. |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 720
| Still thinking about you Roanie. Hope you had a relaxing weekend and the new week holds some happy surprises for you! |
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 Some Kind of Trouble
Posts: 4430
| I can relate to everything you are feeling and I'm much older.. sometimes we're just not okay.  Hugs and prayers for you and myself that we'll find better days soon, hang in there. |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 974
Location: In the wrong place at the wrong time | Everyone has given you some great insight and advice.
It is truly just life....sometimes it's beautiful and sometimes it really sucks but the one thing you can always count on is nothing ever stays the same.
I'm sorry you're having a tough time right now. Hugs and |
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Expert
Posts: 2685
| Thank you everybody. I feel like my outlook is better. Things haven't changed too much. Tree trunk is better. Still swollen behind ear and tried to murder herself this morning so her head is all cut up now but superficial and it could have been mountains worse than a few cuts **bright side** everyone else is better. I had lunch with dad today. Still not the man I knew and still a catastrophe but not as bad as the phone conversation or the dinner on my bday so we are headed in the right direction. I finally calmly told him how I feel without crying (score).
Sorry weird info I know but I'm too big of a wuss to attempt to tell anyone else and y'all are there for me more than most so you guys get to hear it lol.
Thanks again everyone!!! I feel better and that's what matters!! Lol |
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I Prefer to Live in Fantasy Land
Posts: 64864
Location: In the Hills of Texas | Continued prayers.
Glad today is a little better. |
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