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 No Tune in a Bucket
Posts: 2935
   
Location: Texas | One of our sons has two sets of kids by two different wives. The older two are 8 and 14 and the younger ones are almost 2 and 4. Wife #2 arranged for all of them to have family pictures taken and I thought they came out pretty good. I think they gave them to her on a flashdrive so that she could print whatever she wanted. They took pics of the older kids together and individually. I asked my son if it would be ok if I made copies for their mother and other grandmother and he said sure. When Wife #2 found out, she texted me asking if I really made copies for Wife #1 and I said yes. She texted me back that she would appreciate it if I did not make copies of pics that she gave me to give away. I then told her that I asked Son and he said it was ok to which she replied that He did not have the copyright. From that point, I did not respond. These pictures did not have any type of watermark or photographer's identifier, so I did not see a problem.
Was I wrong to share the pictures with Wife #1?
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  Fact Checker
Posts: 16575
 
Location: Displaced Iowegian | RocketPilot - 2014-11-22 3:52 PM One of our sons has two sets of kids by two different wives. The older two are 8 and 14 and the younger ones are almost 2 and 4. Wife #2 arranged for all of them to have family pictures taken and I thought they came out pretty good. I think they gave them to her on a flashdrive so that she could print whatever she wanted. They took pics of the older kids together and individually. I asked my son if it would be ok if I made copies for their mother and other grandmother and he said sure. When Wife #2 found out, she texted me asking if I really made copies for Wife #1 and I said yes. She texted me back that she would appreciate it if I did not make copies of pics that she gave me to give away. I then told her that I asked Son and he said it was ok to which she replied that He did not have the copyright. From that point, I did not respond. These pictures did not have any type of watermark or photographer's identifier, so I did not see a problem.
Was I wrong to share the pictures with Wife #1?
I am assuming that the son paid for the pictures.....and wife #2 is trying to be a selfish b*tch......I wouldn't worry about it and would give wife #1 the pictures of HER children. |
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 Expert
Posts: 1568
Location: Texas | I would tell her to get over it. It's called being a proud grandparent, no matter who the copies of the photos are given to.
Edited by Dudette 2014-11-22 4:18 PM
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No Tune in a Bucket
Posts: 2935
Location: Texas | Son and Wife#2 both work, so I am assuming they both paid for the pictures. My husband I I put our money together. After 44 years, we don't have my money and your money. I sort of threw my son under the bus, I guess, by asking him but honestly I didn't think it would be a problem. Evidently he didn't either or he would have asked her. I only gave Wife#1 the pictures of her kids for her and her mother. I see them every week at a football or soccer games. We all sit together and are friendly. |
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 Playing the Waiting Game
Posts: 2304
| You did the right thing and wife #2 will just have to deal with it. |
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 Shelter Dog Lover
Posts: 10277
| Wife #2 needs to mature and put differences aside. How immature and silly to not want to share pics of the kids regardless of whatever goes on between #1 and #2. |
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No Tune in a Bucket
Posts: 2935
Location: Texas | Thank you. I feel better. I think Wife #2 is just being petty. She has a college education but is very jealous of the older kids. Son does not favor them. I probably do, just because of the way she treats them. I think her texting me didn't set right with me but I also know she would not have had the nerve to say those things to my face. |
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 Banjo and Baby
Posts: 7259
Location: South of Canada and North of Mexico | When I had 9 month pictures done of my daughter, I picked what I wanted and she put them on a flashdrive for me to print off on my own, she also had 2 8x10's sent in to a professional digital picture place for prints. Im sure shes just using the "copyright" issue on you with no real problem. |
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 Expert
Posts: 4121
Location: SE Louisiana |
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Meanest Teacher!!!
Posts: 8555
Location: sunny california | both households should have pics of all 4! the older kids should have pics of their younger siblings. people are so screwed up. |
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No Tune in a Bucket
Posts: 2935
Location: Texas | watchpeppydoc - 2014-11-22 5:17 PM When I had 9 month pictures done of my daughter, I picked what I wanted and she put them on a flashdrive for me to print off on my own, she also had 2 8x10's sent in to a professional digital picture place for prints. Im sure shes just using the "copyright" issue on you with no real problem.
Yes, I thought the 'copyright' thing was just more of her crap. The older kids are reallly good with the little ones, but eventually her attitude is going to ruin their relationship. Dr. Phil says that you have to love the kids more than you hate the X. So true. |
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No Tune in a Bucket
Posts: 2935
Location: Texas | komet. - 2014-11-22 5:22 PM
I am afraid you are right. |
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 Worst.Housekeeper.EVER.
Location: Missouri | I guess I'll be the odd one and say that I would also be annoyed, since the other mother did not pay towards the sitting fee or copyright. Also, the step-mom probably purchased the outfits, planned the sitting, and may have had special ideas for the shoot. Pictures are not cheap, a disc can be several hundreds of dollars. The disc belongs to the parents and they should be able to control who gets copies. JMO.
eta: I know longer buy pics for my in-laws. They are just too expensive. The last time I asked if they would like some, I spent nearly $500 on theirs alone. I now give them the web address to order their own. (of course, they get school & sports pics)
Edited by just4fun 2014-11-22 6:12 PM
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Worst.Housekeeper.EVER.
Location: Missouri | Am I reading correctly? Did you photocopy the prints? If so, that is a big no-no. |
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Expert
Posts: 4121
Location: SE Louisiana | just4fun - 2014-11-22 6:16 PM
Am I reading correctly? Did you photocopy the prints? If so, that is a big no-no.
It was a gift... No strings mentioned.. |
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Expert
Posts: 4121
Location: SE Louisiana | Notice the first question was... did she give some to the OTHER one.. |
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Shelter Dog Lover
Posts: 10277
| just4fun - 2014-11-22 5:52 PM I guess I'll be the odd one and say that I would also be annoyed, since the other mother did not pay towards the sitting fee or copyright. Also, the step-mom probably purchased the outfits, planned the sitting, and may have had special ideas for the shoot. Pictures are not cheap, a disc can be several hundreds of dollars. The disc belongs to the parents and they should be able to control who gets copies. JMO.
eta: I know longer buy pics for my in-laws. They are just too expensive. The last time I asked if they would like some, I spent nearly $500 on theirs alone. I now give them the web address to order their own. (of course, they get school & sports pics)
But their dad did pay for the pictures and if he OKs sharing with their mother case closed, petty to not want their mother and grandmother to not have copies. Find reasons to get along instead of not get along.
In laws asking for $500 in pictures is a little much! |
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Common Sense and then some
Location: So. California | RocketPilot - 2014-11-22 1:52 PM One of our sons has two sets of kids by two different wives. The older two are 8 and 14 and the younger ones are almost 2 and 4. Wife #2 arranged for all of them to have family pictures taken and I thought they came out pretty good. I think they gave them to her on a flashdrive so that she could print whatever she wanted. They took pics of the older kids together and individually. I asked my son if it would be ok if I made copies for their mother and other grandmother and he said sure. When Wife #2 found out, she texted me asking if I really made copies for Wife #1 and I said yes. She texted me back that she would appreciate it if I did not make copies of pics that she gave me to give away. I then told her that I asked Son and he said it was ok to which she replied that He did not have the copyright. From that point, I did not respond. These pictures did not have any type of watermark or photographer's identifier, so I did not see a problem.
Was I wrong to share the pictures with Wife #1?
Personally, I don't see a problem with you sharing pictures of the two older children with their mother and other grandparents. What would be nice is if Wife #1 and the other grandparents would send your son and Wife #2 a thank you card for the wonderful pictures and how much they appreciate her/them taking the time to have their pictures taken. Make sure you give Wife #2 credit. That might help her get over being "upset" and realize that her efforts were noticed and appreciated by everyone. It's amazing what a simple thank you card can do.... 
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 Some Kind of Trouble
Posts: 4430
| just4fun - 2014-11-22 4:52 PM I guess I'll be the odd one and say that I would also be annoyed, since the other mother did not pay towards the sitting fee or copyright. Also, the step-mom probably purchased the outfits, planned the sitting, and may have had special ideas for the shoot. Pictures are not cheap, a disc can be several hundreds of dollars. The disc belongs to the parents and they should be able to control who gets copies. JMO.
eta: I know longer buy pics for my in-laws. They are just too expensive. The last time I asked if they would like some, I spent nearly $500 on theirs alone. I now give them the web address to order their own. (of course, they get school & sports pics)
I'll be one of the odd ones out with you... mom #1 could get her own taken anytime.  |
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 Namesless in BHW
Posts: 10368
Location: At the race track with Ah Dee Ohs | When you are mixing 2 families, you get along. Making copies with the consent of your son for the older kids mom and grandmother was the right thing to do. Who cares who paid for them. Son said yes and that's all that matters. You did a good thing. |
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Sideways Riding Expert
Posts: 11371
Location: ND--it snows, it floods, it snows, it floods | Is it possible she planned on giving the pics to the other mom as a Christmas gift from the kids? Just a thought..... |
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No Tune in a Bucket
Posts: 2935
Location: Texas | docschic - 2014-11-23 5:25 PM Is it possible she planned on giving the pics to the other mom as a Christmas gift from the kids? Just a thought..... I guess it is possible, but I seriously doubt it. I wish that were the case.
Edited by RocketPilot 2014-11-23 8:17 PM
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 Not Afraid to Work
Posts: 4717
| I also believe this is just petty. Shes already paid for the disc which she was buying regardless. It wasn't like she was "out" any money because that disc also has pictures of her children on it. I think it was thoughtful for you to think of the other parent. She may have family pictures taken of her kids too... many parents can never have enough pictures of their kids.  |
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Porta Potty Pants
Posts: 2600
| I would simply say you had permission from son and if she had issues with his "copyright infringement" she needs to take them up with him. I'd probably also warn my son. |
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 Owner of a ratting catting machine
Posts: 2258
| You did right. I always make absolutely certain to not only include a flashdrive of family pictures, but print out the best solo ones of her kid for easy framing for mama. I started that right off the bat, it's really helped pave the way to good will between all of us.
Your DIL is being catty. The only thing is now you might have a harder time getting future pictures. Might have to find a way to smooth it over to be able to keep getting them. |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 1062
Location: Probably On the Road to the Next Barrel Race! | kwanatha - 2014-11-22 5:24 PM both households should have pics of all 4! the older kids should have pics of their younger siblings. people are so screwed up.
Too true, people are just screwed up...at least, wife #2 is...children should NEVER be pawns in adult games. How sad :( |
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OT What would you have done?