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 Magnet for Stupid People
Posts: 2775
   
Location: If I ever get back to Oklahoma..... | My oldest son is 3 (will be four in May) and the last few weeks we have been going rounds with him talking back and whining for things. Usually when he talks back, I look at him and ask sternly, what did you say? Other times, it merits some time sitting in the corner. When I let him out of the corner I always try to get him to explain why he was doing the certain behavior and if he knows why I put him there. Sometimes he will get a swat on his butt and sent to his room. I'm not sure if my methods are being effective enough. Please tell me he will grow out of this stage!
Plus, I don't have much experience around little boys of this age, so I don't know what's normal and what isn't.
I need some ideas on how to communicate with him that talking back, arguing and whining isn't the way to get what he wants. Thoughts, ideas?
Edited by ksCowgirl78 2014-11-25 11:55 AM
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  Playing the Waiting Game
Posts: 2304
| If my boys whined or screamed like a girl (politically incorrect but what I said) they were sent to thier room until the could talk like a big boy.... The time out thing didn't really work on my one son as he would rather sit facing the wall than apologize. With him I'd take the toy of the day away for the whole day.. One of the biggest mistakes young parents make is to NOT follow through..
I'll give an example: I told Travis if he did that (I don't remember what THAT was now) one more time the toy was going out the window. You guessed it he did THAT one more time I promptly sent the toy sailing. Yes I littered and I did NOT go back and pick it up. The next time I told him something similar he believed me.
Another one: My friend and I took the boys to McD's. I asked what everyone wanted and her son said "I don't care" I asked again "What do you want to eat Waylon, are you hungry?" I got no response and the kid got no McD's. He had a fit. But the next time we went to eat he KNEW exactly what he wanted!
Follow through!! |
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 Veteran
Posts: 133
Location: IN | They say the terrible twos are bad. They are nothing compared to the terrible 3's!! My grandson has turned into the whinyest, needyest child on the earth. His personality is completly different. I will agree with what Suzy said. Don't threaten, follow through. They grow out of it, but it's rough on everyone. |
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Veteran
Posts: 161
Location: Right Where I'm Meant To Be :) | Our son got soap in his mouth about that age! |
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 Veteran
Posts: 292
Location: Northeast Nebraska | ksCowgirl78 - 2014-11-25 11:53 AM My oldest son is 3 (will be four in May) and the last few weeks we have been going rounds with him talking back and whining for things. Usually when he talks back, I look at him and ask sternly, what did you say? Other times, it merits some time sitting in the corner. When I let him out of the corner I always try to get him to explain why he was doing the certain behavior and if he knows why I put him there. Sometimes he will get a swat on his butt and sent to his room. I'm not sure if my methods are being effective enough. Please tell me he will grow out of this stage!
Plus, I don't have much experience around little boys of this age, so I don't know what's normal and what isn't.
I need some ideas on how to communicate with him that talking back, arguing and whining isn't the way to get what he wants. Thoughts, ideas?
Enjoy this stage. Because when he's about 14 you are going to want to chain him in the basement and throw bread and water at him.  |
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Playing the Waiting Game
Posts: 2304
| AND if you can train a horse a lot of the same principles work with children. |
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Location: Central Florida | I am glad to see I am not the only one going through it. They weren't kidding when they said that 3 was worse than 2. I think I need a straight jacket. lol |
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 "Special"
Posts: 2364
Location: in the middle of backwoods iowa | My son is the same age- May birthday to boot. I am thinking he may be lucky to see 4. I am at wits end- my issue is when he first started this I was going thru chemo so he got away with stuff because I was too exhausted to fight. Now I am paying for it. Vinegar is good to give instead of soap. I also make him throw his toys in garbage bag if he refuses to pick up. Good Luck! |
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 A Barrel Of Monkeys
Posts: 12972
Location: Texas | Try to make everything positive, and nothing negative.
Make him a chart, put it on fridge, and list the GOOD behaviors you want from him, things like "talks pleasantly to momma", and talks like a big boy without whining", "picks up toys when asked". At the end of every day, give him a reward. At the end of the week with good behavior, give him another reward.
Try to ignore the bad stuff as much as you can.
They love the chart. It worked wonders for my strong willed kid. |
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Magnet for Stupid People
Posts: 2775
Location: If I ever get back to Oklahoma..... | Fun2Run - 2014-11-25 3:09 PM Try to make everything positive, and nothing negative.
Make him a chart, put it on fridge, and list the GOOD behaviors you want from him, things like "talks pleasantly to momma", and talks like a big boy without whining", "picks up toys when asked". At the end of every day, give him a reward. At the end of the week with good behavior, give him another reward.
Try to ignore the bad stuff as much as you can.
They love the chart. It worked wonders for my strong willed kid.
I may have to try the chart...
I've heard 4 is often worse that the terrible 2's or 3's.. By the time he's raised I just may have a head full of gray hairs, as opposed to about 1/4 of a head now!
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Playing the Waiting Game
Posts: 2304
| ksCowgirl78 - 2014-11-25 3:22 PM Fun2Run - 2014-11-25 3:09 PM Try to make everything positive, and nothing negative.
Make him a chart, put it on fridge, and list the GOOD behaviors you want from him, things like "talks pleasantly to momma", and talks like a big boy without whining", "picks up toys when asked". At the end of every day, give him a reward. At the end of the week with good behavior, give him another reward.
Try to ignore the bad stuff as much as you can.
They love the chart. It worked wonders for my strong willed kid. I may have to try the chart...
I've heard 4 is often worse that the terrible 2's or 3's.. By the time he's raised I just may have a head full of gray hairs, as opposed to about 1/4 of a head now!
My experience with the chart was it was way harder to keep up with.. Working full time and trying to keep up with the house was way more energy than I ever had. BUT if it works good luck to you... |
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 You just got to get mean and mean it.
Location: Arkansas | I threw away many handful's of Lego because no one could pick them up. I also had several wooden spoon's I used as inforcer's. When the boy's got taller than me and still smarted off, I would tell them they may be bigger than me, but I'm meaner. But I did pick my battles. The one's I knew I'd win. LOL They were military brat's with smart mouth's and attitudes.
Why are girl's so much easier to raise? |
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 The Vaccinator
Posts: 3810
Location: Slipping down the slope of old age. Boo hoo. | suzy2qtee - 2014-11-25 12:59 PM
If my boys whined or screamed like a girl (politically incorrect but what I said) they were sent to thier room until the could talk like a big boy.... The time out thing didn't really work on my one son as he would rather sit facing the wall than apologize. With him I'd take the toy of the day away for the whole day.. One of the biggest mistakes young parents make is to NOT follow through..
I'll give an example: I told Travis if he did that (I don't remember what THAT was now) one more time the toy was going out the window. You guessed it he did THAT one more time I promptly sent the toy sailing. Yes I littered and I did NOT go back and pick it up. The next time I told him something similar he believed me.
Another one: My friend and I took the boys to McD's. I asked what everyone wanted and her son said "I don't care" I asked again "What do you want to eat Waylon, are you hungry?" I got no response and the kid got no McD's. He had a fit. But the next time we went to eat he KNEW exactly what he wanted!
Follow through!!
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I Need a Xanax!
Posts: 2774
| Is he getting as much exercise and outside time as he was when he was acting good? My kids are 5 and 6 and I can always tell a HUGE difference in their behavior when winter comes if I don't figure out a way for them to get tons of exercise. A tired kid is a good kid in my opinion. I also don't let mine eat junk food....no cookies, cokes, candy, pop tarts, cereal, macaroni, pizza. I believe LOTS of behavior problems can be weakened or eliminated by feeding them healthy foods and making sure they get tons of high energy playtime/exercise. Hang in there and good luck! |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 1034
| Yep, totally normal. Soon he will be playing with his penis (not being dirty, it becomes their favorite toy), will require a trip to the ER (or three), ruin all his clothes, smell like wet dog continually, and make you question your own sanity every day. Welcome to a boys' Momma's world. LOL! |
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 Accident Prone
Posts: 22277
Location: 100 miles from Nowhere, AR | I told my kids I don't speak Whinese, and wouldn't respond to their whining when they tried that out. Same goes now for mumbling or overly dramatic crap. As for terrible 2s, 3s, and 4s, there's a reason kids are usually 5-6 before they start real school.  |
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Magnet for Stupid People
Posts: 2775
Location: If I ever get back to Oklahoma..... | HorseMommyFiveO - 2014-11-25 7:06 PM Yep, totally normal. Soon he will be playing with his penis (not being dirty, it becomes their favorite toy), will require a trip to the ER (or three), ruin all his clothes, smell like wet dog continually, and make you question your own sanity every day. Welcome to a boys' Momma's world. LOL!
Oh he's already been doing that and playing with his new "toy" and I've never been around little boys so I have no clue. My husband told me it's normal, but it still bothers me! |
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Accident Prone
Posts: 22277
Location: 100 miles from Nowhere, AR | ksCowgirl78 - 2014-11-26 8:48 AM HorseMommyFiveO - 2014-11-25 7:06 PM Yep, totally normal. Soon he will be playing with his penis (not being dirty, it becomes their favorite toy), will require a trip to the ER (or three), ruin all his clothes, smell like wet dog continually, and make you question your own sanity every day. Welcome to a boys' Momma's world. LOL! Oh he's already been doing that and playing with his new "toy" and I've never been around little boys so I have no clue. My husband told me it's normal, but it still bothers me!
Oh, it gets worse. Mine is 9. He needs to lock doors, seriously. What has been seen cannot be unseen.  |
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Expert
Posts: 1543
Location: MI | Three 4 Luck - 2014-11-25 10:14 PM
I told my kids I don't speak Whinese, and wouldn't respond to their whining when they tried that out. Same goes now for mumbling or overly dramatic crap. As for terrible 2s, 3s, and 4s, there's a reason kids are usually 5-6 before they start real school.
I do this to..."I can't understand you when you're crying" gets them to snap out of it pretty quick too.
It gets better, and it gets worse...just don't take it personally and they'll learn how to act when you aren't around (not sure why, but it doesn't seem to get better when it's just family! but others all say that they listen well and are polite when we aren't around :) |
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Playing the Waiting Game
Posts: 2304
| Three 4 Luck - 2014-11-26 9:01 AM ksCowgirl78 - 2014-11-26 8:48 AM HorseMommyFiveO - 2014-11-25 7:06 PM Yep, totally normal. Soon he will be playing with his penis (not being dirty, it becomes their favorite toy), will require a trip to the ER (or three), ruin all his clothes, smell like wet dog continually, and make you question your own sanity every day. Welcome to a boys' Momma's world. LOL! Oh he's already been doing that and playing with his new "toy" and I've never been around little boys so I have no clue. My husband told me it's normal, but it still bothers me!
I told my boys to do it in the shower cuz I didn't want to clean that up!! To this day my little soldeir boy showers until the water runs cold... Not sure how they get him out of the shower in Kuwait. |
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 Dancing in my Mind
Posts: 3062
Location: Eastern OH but my heart is in WV | I honestly think someone kidnapped my son and replaced him with another between the ages of 3-5. They boy could throw a fit like no one's business. I tried all forms of punishment but only after I won a couple of battles at "time out" did his attitude start to change. It would take me sometimes almost 2 hours to get him to sit in time out for 10 minutes but after about 2 or 3 times, it was no longer the big fight. I remember a LOT of tears though and my mother and mother-in-law only added to a my insecurity if I was being a good parent. My husband is hard-headed and my son is his exact double. He is much better now, unless he is extremely tired. I only get compliments about what a good kid he is from teachers and others, so I guess we are doing something right but it does not always seem that way at home. Best of luck mom and you are not alone!!!
I personally still think girls are way harder to raise than boys, just a different set of issues. |
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 Toy Story Fanatic
Posts: 4148
Location: Oregon | My son at 3 never required a punishment. If I raised my voice or got stern with him, he was broken. He never did things to get in trouble. NOW let me tell you about my daughter. I swear she was demon spawn. Spanking, time out, nor sitting in a corner made a difference. She would gladly take it and not be bothered a bit. BUT, I finally learned that when she did things that she was not supposed to-the way to get her attention was to take things away. I can't even remember everything she lost for a period of time. Pretty sure she remembers the worst as when I warned her if she slammed her bedroom door ONE more time. She wouldn't have one. Apparently she thought I was joking. Found out I wasn't. LOL!
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 597
| My little boy is 5. I can honestly tell you that you aren't alone!! With all kids consistency is key, if you say you're gonna bust their butts you better do it. People ask me why my kids are so well behaved and I jokingly tell them that it's because God knew I couldn't handle more than what I have! In all reality all kids can be little terrorists if you let them, mine included. You just have to set a boundary and enforce it. Which sometimes is WAY easier said than done!!! Good luck mama! What's that saying? You wouldn't be doing it right if you didn't think you were doing it wrong!!!! |
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Playing the Waiting Game
Posts: 2304
| squeek - 2014-11-26 7:50 PM My son at 3 never required a punishment. If I raised my voice or got stern with him, he was broken. He never did things to get in trouble. NOW let me tell you about my daughter. I swear she was demon spawn. Spanking, time out, nor sitting in a corner made a difference. She would gladly take it and not be bothered a bit. BUT, I finally learned that when she did things that she was not supposed to-the way to get her attention was to take things away. I can't even remember everything she lost for a period of time. Pretty sure she remembers the worst as when I warned her if she slammed her bedroom door ONE more time. She wouldn't have one. Apparently she thought I was joking. Found out I wasn't. LOL!
Is exactly what I would of done had the need arose. |
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OT: 3 year old (human) boys..