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 Don't Wanna Make This Awkward
Posts: 3106
  
Location: Texas | I'm having a lot of problems with my bestfriend... We were fast friends and in 3 month of knowing eachother we signed a lease to live together out where we go to school. I've never had problems with her hanging out with other people or having other friends, I've never realy cared. Now there's this girl that we use to work with that she hangsout with everyday since we've been home and has moved into her parents home with her. The only thing that bothers me is that this girl is really rude to me and they make fun of me together and make snarky comments about me, to my face. I have tried to be nice and I try to get along, but I just can't force myself to go hangout with someone who makes me want to hate myself. I don't trust my bestfriend and honestly it's hard to even type out and call her my bestfriend. She's slept with this girls boyfriend and one of her other friends boyfriends and that really bothers me. I have a feeling she hooked up with a guy I was dating awhile ago but I don't even want to know the answer to that so I don't even bother. She also is going down a bad path with this other girl, drinking every night, there's been drugs involved, it's annoying hanging out with her and having to leave because I don't want to partake in this stuff. I have to live with her the next 4 months and I really just want to stay on good terms. I don't need her in my life and don't really want her there but I have a lease I have to follow. How do I let a friendship like this just fade out? If I don't hangout with her as much she's gonna question me and don't want to lie to her but I'm also over her trying to fix this. This friendship has been over since the summer pretty much. Some guidance would be nice, I don't want things to go out in flames and I have a hard time figuring out what's right and wrong to say or do to people. Thank you. |
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 Keep those crap slapping tails away!
Posts: 8871
  
Location: Around here somewhere... | Is your lease for a year? I say talk to your landlord. |
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Keep those crap slapping tails away!
Posts: 8871
Location: Around here somewhere... | Don't hang out with her. She is not your friend and is going to get you in trouble. It's one thing to have to continue living with her due to a lease, but there is no reason to be hanging out with her. Get a storage unit for all of your valuables, and stop spending time with her. Get a new group of friends- join the gym, find a book club, volunteer worth 4H, Big Brothers/Sisters, or a soup kitchen, do anything at all possible to stay busy so you do not fall into hanging out with her. |
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Go Get Em!
Posts: 13503
Location: OH. IO | Find a way and get out! In the meantime make sure the drugs dont get into your house.you could get into tons of trouble.And the term best friend doesnt fit.Save yourself and get out. |
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 Expert
Posts: 3815
Location: The best kept secret in TX | I've been in a situation similar to this. Luckily my name wasn't on the lease. However I paid all the bills. I moved out. She was evicted the next month because she couldn't afford rent.
We were close, and for the longest she hated me for leaving her with all the bills. But after paying all of them for 6 months I was tired of it.
She eventually appologized and we talk some now and help each other when we can but the trust is gone.
I wish you good luck. Hopefully your name isn't on the lease but if it is tallk with your landlord.
ETA: Simply let her know how you feel. And that you would like to keep things cival. Maybe she will understand. Hugs. 
Edited by IRunOnFaith 2015-01-09 5:55 PM
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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 540
Location: My own little world :) | First off...In my experience it is really hard to be roommates with a girl who is a very close friend. It just seems to always encounter some kind of conflict that takes time to get over. I think you should first in a very calm, mature, and rational matter sit her down without the other girl and tell her how you feel. Aways stay level headed and calm ;) And possibly ask her what she feels is the best solution and whatnot. Or possibly look for a different roommate and different location and kindly suggest that they live together and this other girl could sub lease your portion if you can't get out of the lease.
Then if that doesn't work or a rational resolution is not agreed upon I would then talk to your landlord about the issues and see what they suggest. And then depending on what else goes on look for something else..heck just start looking for something else right now so that you are prepared.
I commend you for wanting to rise above and not expose yourself to certain undesirable situations. Chin up, say a prayer, and continue on. Just remember to be the bigger person but also do what is good for you. I hope that helps  |
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Don't Wanna Make This Awkward
Posts: 3106
Location: Texas | Zanadoo88 - 2015-01-09 6:22 PM First off...In my experience it is really hard to be roommates with a girl who is a very close friend. It just seems to always encounter some kind of conflict that takes time to get over. I think you should first in a very calm, mature, and rational matter sit her down without the other girl and tell her how you feel. Aways stay level headed and calm ; ) And possibly ask her what she feels is the best solution and whatnot. Or possibly look for a different roommate and different location and kindly suggest that they live together and this other girl could sub lease your portion if you can't get out of the lease. Then if that doesn't work or a rational resolution is not agreed upon I would then talk to your landlord about the issues and see what they suggest. And then depending on what else goes on look for something else..heck just start looking for something else right now so that you are prepared. I commend you for wanting to rise above and not expose yourself to certain undesirable situations. Chin up, say a prayer, and continue on. Just remember to be the bigger person but also do what is good for you. I hope that helps
Thank you.. I actually have loved living with her, she's a great roommate and we had NO problems first semester. It is a dorm apartment and I will be staying there, only sunday/monday/tuesday nights, but there is no other option for that. We had discussed everything from the summer and I thought everything would just slowly get better, and it did. Until we got back home on break, she just lies to me and I feel like I have been played by a friend like she leads me on to think she's my friend but it's all really just a joke.
I do have several other good friends I will spend my time with and I have signed up for the big sister program to volunteer. I just got a job too so I think I should be pretty busy along with 19 hours of classes. I went down a bad road in high school and have been digging myself out ever since and I don't feel she is helping me, I honeslty feel we both bring out the worst in eachother.
Thank you everyone for the kind advice, it really helps |
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  Warmblood with Wings
Posts: 27846
Location: Florida.. | Shes not your friend if she treats you like that.
be nice be mature, do your thing, stay busy with good activities.smile keep your head up..
it will fly by fast.lock your bedroom door when you leave if they do drugs. |
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 Love Me Some Robert Redford
Posts: 2335
Location: WV | Bibliafarm - 2015-01-09 11:47 PM
Shes not your friend if she treats you like that.
be nice be mature, do your thing, stay busy with good activities.smile keep your head up..
it will fly by fast.lock your bedroom door when you leave if they do drugs.
This right here.. |
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 Fact Checker
Posts: 16572
Location: Displaced Iowegian | mam0329 - 2015-01-10 4:02 PM Bibliafarm - 2015-01-09 11:47 PM Shes not your friend if she treats you like that.
be nice be mature, do your thing, stay busy with good activities.smile keep your head up..
it will fly by fast.lock your bedroom door when you leave if they do drugs. This right here..
^^^^THIS....only I would tell her that IF you get caught with drugs in THIS apartment, I will testify against you and your friends! |
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Rad Dork
Posts: 5218
Location: Oklahoma | Maybe mention to the landlord there might be drugs in their possession? I'm sure that's against the lease policy! But I'd also be afraid that they'd know I was the rat and do something revengeful. Just keep all valuables in your possession if at all possible (backpack, car, parents house) and keep one eye open. I'd be afraid they'd just outright steal a locked box of they could get their hands on it. Hope it all works out!!! |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 1062
Location: Probably On the Road to the Next Barrel Race! | You risk going to jail for her actions. Your deposit for breaking your lease is probably less than $700, your half $350...it would be worth that to me to get away from Miss Bad News... I would leave immediately.
Edited to add...I am a landlord here in Texas. There is nothing really much a landlord can do if you decide to leave. Just leave!!
Edited by CrossCreek 2015-01-10 10:00 PM
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Can I get some friendship advice?