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 Undercover Amish Mafia Member
Posts: 9992
    
Location: Kansas | I hate having to post this, but I'm an emotional wreck right now. My ex (boyfriend), who is my daughters father....is taking me to court over a trailer that was registered in my name. Trailer was bought together yes, there was never a lien on it, when we split up he told me I could have the trailer....his never was on that title, ever. I was the one who paid the registration on the trailer, etc. A month after I was allowed to keep the trailer....he states I stole the trailer from him. He gets in touch with an attorney, who is attempting to work the case as if we were married, and we never were...not even common law. The relationship was under 2 years.
I retained an attorney showed him the previous copy of the title which showed the seller signature, and only MY signature and address on the back of the title, I also gave him a copy of the current title registered in my name. Now my daughters father states he has a bill of sale.....which he does, but the kicker is....nothing on that bill of sale matches anything on the title of the trailer....It stated it was a 1994 four star and no VIN number was even listed on the bill of sale. My title stated 1993 Five, I even paid to have the trailer inspected by highway patrol since it had an out of state title.
I met with him yesterday to pick up my daughter and everything hit the fan. Thankfully I was recording, but he screamed at me in front of my child (his mother was with him and did the same). He stated he is going to see me in court regarding "HIS" trailer and that I'm screwed because apparently they are having the dealership who the trailer was purchased from, come and testify in court. Mind you, we don't even have a court date set up........
What can I do? I've about had it with his harassment, and every little thing that happens...he screams at me that he is going to report me or tell the judge.
Edited by hoofs_in_motion 2015-01-12 9:58 AM
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 Cute Little Imp
Posts: 2747
Location: N Texas | Let him take you to court, he's SOL. The trailer is in your name, so he doesn't have a leg to stand on.
ETA: or you could tell him to buy out your half (or however much you paid) and let him have the trailer so he'll leave you alone.
Edited by Gunner11 2015-01-12 10:01 AM
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Undercover Amish Mafia Member
Posts: 9992
Location: Kansas | The thing is, I want him to take me to court....but his attorney keeps dragging it out further and further so we don't have to go to court. They want me to settle and pay half the cost of the trailer....as well as pay off 2 of his credit cards that my name isn't on. |
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  Warmblood with Wings
Posts: 27846
Location: Florida.. | ignore him. when you exchange child meet in public place its sad but you gotta do what you gotta do.Id just continue living your life. hes SOL on ALL accounts if he didnt pay for it. if he did pay though ,you owe him.Legally there might not be anything he can do but Morally if he paid then you owe IMHO. but thats how I am.
tell him talk to your attorney not you. and walk away. dont say anything to him.
hes mad . he cant do anything about it.
Edited by Bibliafarm 2015-01-12 10:08 AM
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 I Chore in Chucks
Posts: 2882
Location: MD | I see why he's an ex. He sounds emotionally abusive and can't seem to handle his own emotions on top of it. I would question his ability to handle a small child without supervision with that sort of behavior. I understand in these sort of situations emotions run high, but he's got to be able to get it under control at LEAST in front of your daughter.
The trailer is in your name, regardless of who paid, it's your trailer. If he paid for part of it initially he should have put it in both of your names. Bring receipts of the trailer maintenance, inspections, and your title for whenever that court date rolls around. I'd really truly doubt a judge would rule in his favor. I would also bet that he is trying to manipulate you to get the trailer without having to go to court.
Best of luck to you, don't let him stress you. |
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Undercover Amish Mafia Member
Posts: 9992
Location: Kansas | we do meet at a public place, the same place everytime for pick up and drop off. At this point, I'm not meeting him any longer, my mother said she would pick up/drop off my child because he refuses to be civil....even accuses me of facebook stalking him (which how can I since he blocked me LOL), and states that "we are over, and you just have to get over that"
I left him....not he left me, so I don't understand where he is getting that idea. |
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Cute Little Imp
Posts: 2747
Location: N Texas | hoofs_in_motion - 2015-01-12 10:01 AM
The thing is, I want him to take me to court....but his attorney keeps dragging it out further and further so we don't have to go to court. They want me to settle and pay half the cost of the trailer....as well as pay off 2 of his credit cards that my name isn't on.
Pay off two of his credit cards?? That's ridiculous. Unless he can prove those cards are for expenses for you.
I bet they're dragging it out because they know he'll get nothing if it goes to court. Don't let them bully you into doing something you're not comfortable with. If you want to buy your part of the trailer, then do it. If not, stand firm and force him to actually take you to court. |
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Undercover Amish Mafia Member
Posts: 9992
Location: Kansas | Crowned Image - 2015-01-12 10:07 AM I see why he's an ex. He sounds emotionally abusive and can't seem to handle his own emotions on top of it. I would question his ability to handle a small child without supervision with that sort of behavior. I understand in these sort of situations emotions run high, but he's got to be able to get it under control at LEAST in front of your daughter.
The trailer is in your name, regardless of who paid, it's your trailer. If he paid for part of it initially he should have put it in both of your names. Bring receipts of the trailer maintenance, inspections, and your title for whenever that court date rolls around. I'd really truly doubt a judge would rule in his favor. I would also bet that he is trying to manipulate you to get the trailer without having to go to court.
Best of luck to you, don't let him stress you.
He was physically abusive as well.....unfortunately, there is honestly nothing I can do when it comes to him doing that around my child. She has come home saying some nasty little words...and even then, nothing was ever done. So I know I'm SOL on that aspect, so I don't even bother trying to say anything when she acts out. I just tell her I love her and we don't say naughty words, and her attitude from his home is down right horrible. |
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Warmblood with Wings
Posts: 27846
Location: Florida.. | can you go talk to someone and lay everything out on table. a attorney or a officer and see advise from them? sad your daughter is having to be with him if hes abusive and has anger issues. |
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Undercover Amish Mafia Member
Posts: 9992
Location: Kansas | Gunner11 - 2015-01-12 10:09 AM hoofs_in_motion - 2015-01-12 10:01 AM The thing is, I want him to take me to court....but his attorney keeps dragging it out further and further so we don't have to go to court. They want me to settle and pay half the cost of the trailer....as well as pay off 2 of his credit cards that my name isn't on. Pay off two of his credit cards?? That's ridiculous. Unless he can prove those cards are for expenses for you. I bet they're dragging it out because they know he'll get nothing if it goes to court. Don't let them bully you into doing something you're not comfortable with. If you want to buy your part of the trailer, then do it. If not, stand firm and force him to actually take you to court.
one of the cards he put $500 towards a car repair I had, so yes I know I'm obligated to that...and even told my attorney I have no issue with paying that....but the funny thing is, he had an outstand balance on that card already from having to buy new tires. It was paid down to like $489...then my $500 was added, but he won't allow me to pay on the card directly because he won't give me access to just pay on it. So right now, that card is over $1,289....and his minimum payment per month is $249 because he is only paying $30 on it per month. And he wants me to pay the card completely off.
Now the other card, nothing on that card links to me. |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 823
Location: East Texas | Did he pay for the trailer? You said it was paid for together. If so, give him the money that he paid back and you will come out looking good and can move on. |
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Go Get Em!
Posts: 13503
Location: OH. IO | Give him nothing or he will continue to bully you.I highly doubt the trailer place will waist their time.calm down but be tough! |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 1182
Location: Do I hear Banjos? |
Well...if you two bought the trailer together...married or not...when you split you guys should have either sold the trailer and divided the proceeds or bought the other out on their 1/2. If he said you could keep it...and you didn't get that in writing...well...that's not good. It's He said She said.
Is he looking at the credit card bills as joint household expenses? (I assume you were living together as a family?).
Regardless as to who is standing on the moral high ground as far as right and wrong of who owes what....he is absolutely wrong for losing his temper and making accusations/threats in front of the little girl (or at all really since he should be an adult period)
Is he required to pay child support for the daughter? (by a court decision I mean...something official?) Maybe that is part of his ire. He may see that child support payment as all you should get...and that if he sees that credit card bill as joint bills and the trailer as a joint asset...well...maybe that is where all of this is coming from.
You may not have had a piece of paper formalizing your union...but if you lived together and had a child together...it's really just semantics isn't it?
It's a shame lawyers got involved...they will be the real winners in the end. |
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Tried and True
Posts: 21185
Location: Where I am happiest | Give him the $500 you owe on the credit card. Give it in the form of a postal money order and make him sign a reciept for it. Then that one is out of the way and you have iron clad proof of payment and make sure you put in the notes what it's for. If someone else is delivering your daughter to him they can facilitate the delivery of the money order and signing of the reciept. Is he paying child support? If he is harrassing you, and has been abusive you might think about a restraining order. Has he ever been abusive towards your daughter? |
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Undercover Amish Mafia Member
Posts: 9992
Location: Kansas | ThreeCorners - 2015-01-12 10:41 AM Give him the $500 you owe on the credit card. Give it in the form of a postal money order and make him sign a reciept for it. Then that one is out of the way and you have iron clad proof of payment and make sure you put in the notes what it's for. If someone else is delivering your daughter to him they can facilitate the delivery of the money order and signing of the reciept. Is he paying child support? If he is harrassing you, and has been abusive you might think about a restraining order. Has he ever been abusive towards your daughter?
I will get a certified bank check and just get it over with, and that way I will have proof that I paid him luckily. My mom can give him the check when she drops her off. He is suppose to pay a certain amount of child support per month, but he only pays half of what is owed....which is fine, financially it is taking a hit to my paychecks, but I would rather go knowing that I'm taking care of my child. So right now there is back child support owed at over $1,200 from just 6 months.
I spoke with another BB and I'm going to speak with a friend who is a police officer and see what he thinks I should do. i'm going to show him the video as well.
I cant accuse him of ever being abusive around her, because she is a typical 2 year old.....bumps, bruises, scrapes, it happens. I do know he got very upset at me because she told him to "leave her alone," so upset he threatened to call the daycare because he felt she was "acting up" I even told him she is 2 and she is currently going through a stage, I have no control over it....but still continued to throw it back in my face.
At this point, I don't even want to have to deal with him. We have to sit down for concilliation, and I'm honestly dreading it at this point. |
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 Fact Checker
Posts: 16575
Location: Displaced Iowegian | ThreeCorners - 2015-01-12 10:41 AM Give him the $500 you owe on the credit card. Give it in the form of a postal money order and make him sign a reciept for it. Then that one is out of the way and you have iron clad proof of payment and make sure you put in the notes what it's for. If someone else is delivering your daughter to him they can facilitate the delivery of the money order and signing of the reciept. Is he paying child support? If he is harrassing you, and has been abusive you might think about a restraining order. Has he ever been abusive towards your daughter?
NO....do NOT do this.....at this point in time, ALL transactions, etc should be done through YOUR lawyer. He will put the money into an "escrow" account to be paid out at the time of resolution of the case. Additionally, find any and all paperwork (checks or receipts of money paid, repairs, licensing, etc) that you have paid out for the trailer. Since it is in your name, I highly doubt that the courts will give him anything unless he can PROVE that he paid a certain amount. If they do, they will deduct your monetary contributions. |
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 Damn Yankee
Posts: 12390
Location: Somewhere between raising hell and Amazing Grace | Who actually paid money for the trailer? If he put his own money into it, then I think he's owed that money. However, I believe it is in your best interest to let this get settled in court or through a lawyer. Don't just go giving him money. Not for the trailer, not for anything. And I don't care how ugly he and his mother get. YOU need to be the bigger person, be nice, be civil. You can no longer just do whatever you want to do about anything. You kind of gave up that right when you become a mom. You need to do whatever is best for your child, which is never getting into a battle with her father in front of her. Shame on him for doing that to her.
Do YOU have an attorney? If not, get one. Every state, jurisdiction is different. Only an attorney in your area will have the best legal advice. |
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 Expert
Posts: 1857
| It was a gift! That's all you have to say! It's in your name, he gifted it to you... end of story! My MIL got scammed that way. a quarter of a million dollars!
Edited by FlyingJT 2015-01-12 11:23 AM
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Expert
Posts: 1857
| hoofs_in_motion - 2015-01-12 10:14 AM
Gunner11 - 2015-01-12 10:09 AM hoofs_in_motion - 2015-01-12 10:01 AM The thing is, I want him to take me to court....but his attorney keeps dragging it out further and further so we don't have to go to court. They want me to settle and pay half the cost of the trailer....as well as pay off 2 of his credit cards that my name isn't on. Pay off two of his credit cards?? That's ridiculous. Unless he can prove those cards are for expenses for you. I bet they're dragging it out because they know he'll get nothing if it goes to court. Don't let them bully you into doing something you're not comfortable with. If you want to buy your part of the trailer, then do it. If not, stand firm and force him to actually take you to court.
Now the other card, nothing on that card links to me.
The repair was a gift to you, you are not obligated to pay it back.... don't negotiate, make him take you to court! |
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The Advice Guru
Posts: 6419
| As already said do not pay him anything. Let your lawyer handle everything.
Concerning your daughter you need to get a different lawyer one who is good with custody as if he isn't paying you what the court has ordered you need to go after him for this.
Also next time your daughter is scheduled to come him have an assessment by a child psychiatrist/psychologist done. Emotional abuse, neglect, verbal abuse are all abuse and your child may be acting out due to this. Depending on the assessment you may be able to stop visitation due to imminent harm.
Again you have two different things going on, I suggest getting the best lawyers for both don't use the same one.
Also speak to your lawyer and ensure you were not living in common law and see what your lawyer recommends |
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 Loves to compete
Posts: 5760
Location: Oakdale, CA | just curious how much is the trailer worth?? How much is he fighting over?? I might just sign it over to him and let him have it. I don't think its worth payin an attorney for......................... |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 915
Location: SE KS | hoofs_in_motion - 2015-01-12 10:08 AM
we do meet at a public place, the same place everytime for pick up and drop off. At this point, I'm not meeting him any longer, my mother said she would pick up/drop off my child because he refuses to be civil....even accuses me of facebook stalking him (which how can I since he blocked me LOL), and states that "we are over, and you just have to get over that"
I left him....not he left me, so I don't understand where he is getting that idea.
One thing to note on the pickup & drop off, he can rightfully refuse to "exchange" your daughter to anyone but you! So be careful on that idea. My husband did this to his ex, as she was causing issues about meeting me to exchange the kids, and thought nothing of sending her husband to be to pick them up!! |
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 Googly Goo
Posts: 7053
| cheryl makofka - 2015-01-12 11:35 AM..... Also speak to your lawyer and ensure you were not living in common law and see what your lawyer recommends
Yep. There is no minimum requirement for cohabitation in many states. If there is proof that you held yourselves out as married then common law is established. Living together, having a child together, aquiring assets and debts together are a good start in many states. I don't know the big picture but so far it sounds like in the split, he got all the debt and you got the assets. If common law was established, that won't be the settlement in court. |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 915
Location: SE KS | hoofs_in_motion - 2015-01-12 10:11 AM
Crowned Image - 2015-01-12 10:07 AM I see why he's an ex. He sounds emotionally abusive and can't seem to handle his own emotions on top of it. I would question his ability to handle a small child without supervision with that sort of behavior. I understand in these sort of situations emotions run high, but he's got to be able to get it under control at LEAST in front of your daughter.
The trailer is in your name, regardless of who paid, it's your trailer. If he paid for part of it initially he should have put it in both of your names. Bring receipts of the trailer maintenance, inspections, and your title for whenever that court date rolls around. I'd really truly doubt a judge would rule in his favor. I would also bet that he is trying to manipulate you to get the trailer without having to go to court.
Best of luck to you, don't let him stress you.
He was physically abusive as well.....unfortunately, there is honestly nothing I can do when it comes to him doing that around my child. She has come home saying some nasty little words...and even then, nothing was ever done. So I know I'm SOL on that aspect, so I don't even bother trying to say anything when she acts out. I just tell her I love her and we don't say naughty words, and her attitude from his home is down right horrible.
I have mixed concerns about the route I am suggesting, as you never know how things will go.
If you have any concern about her safety when with him, contact SRS or a child counselor, & set up
an appointment to have her see them. |
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Undercover Amish Mafia Member
Posts: 9992
Location: Kansas | TXBO - 2015-01-12 12:23 PM cheryl makofka - 2015-01-12 11:35 AM..... Also speak to your lawyer and ensure you were not living in common law and see what your lawyer recommends Yep. There is no minimum requirement for cohabitation in many states. If there is proof that you held yourselves out as married then common law is established. Living together, having a child together, aquiring assets and debts together are a good start in many states. I don't know the big picture but so far it sounds like in the split, he got all the debt and you got the assets. If common law was established, that won't be the settlement in court.
O not trust me I have about $5,000 worth of debt from him as well....I just don't throw it out to my attorney trying to get the jerk to pay for it. I would rather just deal with it and pay it off myself so I don't have hear him complain he doesn't owe a dime on it.
No common law, I never once, EVER would consider myself married to him. We never told people we were, no joint accounts, file taxes separate...so common law doesn't apply to that past relationship. Trust me I've already looked it up LOL.
But his attorney is trying to work the case as if we were married....and we never were. |
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 More bootie than waist!
Posts: 18425
Location: Riding Crackhead. | No advice but I'm sorry you're going through this.  |
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Googly Goo
Posts: 7053
| hoofs_in_motion - 2015-01-12 12:33 PM O not trust me I have about $5,000 worth of debt from him as well....I just don't throw it out to my attorney trying to get the jerk to pay for it. I would rather just deal with it and pay it off myself so I don't have hear him complain he doesn't owe a dime on it.
No common law, I never once, EVER would consider myself married to him. We never told people we were, no joint accounts, file taxes separate...so common law doesn't apply to that past relationship. Trust me I've already looked it up LOL.
But his attorney is trying to work the case as if we were married....and we never were. Sounds messy. I wish you the best. As stressed and unsure as you are, I would challenge your choice of attorneys. Make sure you have a good one.
By the way, don't hold out information like your debt to your attorney. All that is important in negotiation.
Edited by TXBO 2015-01-12 12:42 PM
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I Chore in Chucks
Posts: 2882
Location: MD | NJJ - 2015-01-12 11:55 AM
ThreeCorners - 2015-01-12 10:41 AM Give him the $500 you owe on the credit card. Give it in the form of a postal money order and make him sign a reciept for it. Then that one is out of the way and you have iron clad proof of payment and make sure you put in the notes what it's for. If someone else is delivering your daughter to him they can facilitate the delivery of the money order and signing of the reciept. Is he paying child support? If he is harrassing you, and has been abusive you might think about a restraining order. Has he ever been abusive towards your daughter?
NO....do NOT do this.....at this point in time, ALL transactions, etc should be done through YOUR lawyer. He will put the money into an "escrow" account to be paid out at the time of resolution of the case. Additionally, find any and all paperwork (checks or receipts of money paid, repairs, licensing, etc) that you have paid out for the trailer. Since it is in your name, I highly doubt that the courts will give him anything unless he can PROVE that he paid a certain amount. If they do, they will deduct your monetary contributions.
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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 554
| hoofs_in_motion - 2015-01-12 10:08 AM
we do meet at a public place, the same place everytime for pick up and drop off. At this point, I'm not meeting him any longer, my mother said she would pick up/drop off my child because he refuses to be civil....even accuses me of facebook stalking him (which how can I since he blocked me LOL), and states that "we are over, and you just have to get over that"
I left him....not he left me, so I don't understand where he is getting that idea.
I was in your shoes, same type of person. Only he stalked me for several years and probably is following me around some now. I would say Ignore him. It is hard, that type of person feeds off of others emotions. JMHO |
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 Expert
Posts: 3815
Location: The best kept secret in TX | Went through something similar. Keep a paper trail. Print out every text message he sends you and put it in a three ring binder. The judge will realize he is the one harassing and will punish him. Keep records. bring them to court and be sure you maintain your same attitude you have now. He hasn't a leg to stand on.
As far as the court deal, save up the money for the court cost and take him to court. Make sure your attorney puts in the papers that you want compensation for the court cost from him. Also, if he has a small request other than the trailer be sure you give it to him This seems stupid yes, but later you can tell the judge that you have been cooperative and he has not. Because it doesn't sound like he will be waivering anytime soon and will come up with something else that you supposedly owe him. And he'll try and get it since he can't have you. The judge will eventually reward you with whatever it is you are ultimately asking for because you were cooperative.
Be sure you document everything. Say things in texts like I would appreciate if you would not yell in front of the child as this scares him or her. Let him text back and print it out. Then when he continues to text and harass simply say Please do not contact me unless this about our child. The judge will see you are keeping it civil and have only your precious child's interest at heart.
Good luck!
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Undercover Amish Mafia Member
Posts: 9992
Location: Kansas | TXBO - 2015-01-12 12:39 PM hoofs_in_motion - 2015-01-12 12:33 PM O not trust me I have about $5,000 worth of debt from him as well....I just don't throw it out to my attorney trying to get the jerk to pay for it. I would rather just deal with it and pay it off myself so I don't have hear him complain he doesn't owe a dime on it.
No common law, I never once, EVER would consider myself married to him. We never told people we were, no joint accounts, file taxes separate...so common law doesn't apply to that past relationship. Trust me I've already looked it up LOL.
But his attorney is trying to work the case as if we were married....and we never were. Sounds messy. I wish you the best. As stressed and unsure as you are, I would challenge your choice of attorneys. Make sure you have a good one.
By the way, don't hold out information like your debt to your attorney. All that is important in negotiation.
So right now, my attorney sucks...I have no money left to pay another retainer fee, and I just want to crawl into a little hole and stay there.
ETA: I've given my attorney all of the bank statements from when I paid on his truck when he lost his job, as well as copys of the insurance statements from when I paid his insurance on it as well....truck was $3,500, and insurance equaled up to be $439.
Edited by hoofs_in_motion 2015-01-12 4:55 PM
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Googly Goo
Posts: 7053
| Hoofs, has a criminal charge or a civil suit been filed?
Is his child support court ordered?
Edited by TXBO 2015-01-12 5:25 PM
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The Advice Guru
Posts: 6419
| Honestly I would ask your parents for help to get a great lawyer actually two one for the custody and child support I would also ensure you sue for all court costs as if he is not paying you this is in violation.
Where I live if they don't pay the government will garnish wages and will refused to renew vehicle registration or drivers liscenses.
The "marriage" lawyer for the separation costs, you could also see if you can sue him for court costs. I would ask my parents as from my experience the person who wins may not be on the right but have the best lawyer and have the higher lawyer fees |
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Expert
Posts: 3815
Location: The best kept secret in TX | cheryl makofka - 2015-01-12 5:23 PM Honestly I would ask your parents for help to get a great lawyer actually two one for the custody and child support I would also ensure you sue for all court costs as if he is not paying you this is in violation. Where I live if they don't pay the government will garnish wages and will refused to renew vehicle registration or drivers liscenses. The "marriage" lawyer for the separation costs, you could also see if you can sue him for court costs. I would ask my parents as from my experience the person who wins may not be on the right but have the best lawyer and have the higher lawyer fees
This is so true. Our Attorney was the best in the county. HUGE Court costs. I had to sell my truck and my SO had to get a loan on his antique show truck. But the person who lost against us had to pay for everything. Well worth it to see the outcome. We got over 9,500 back so far and have put it in a bank account for us to sit on!
hugs to you, but head up. It will eventually end. |
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 The Vaccinator
Posts: 3810
Location: Slipping down the slope of old age. Boo hoo. | NJJ - 2015-01-12 10:55 AM
ThreeCorners - 2015-01-12 10:41 AM Give him the $500 you owe on the credit card. Give it in the form of a postal money order and make him sign a reciept for it. Then that one is out of the way and you have iron clad proof of payment and make sure you put in the notes what it's for. If someone else is delivering your daughter to him they can facilitate the delivery of the money order and signing of the reciept. Is he paying child support? If he is harrassing you, and has been abusive you might think about a restraining order. Has he ever been abusive towards your daughter?
NO....do NOT do this.....at this point in time, ALL transactions, etc should be done through YOUR lawyer. He will put the money into an "escrow" account to be paid out at the time of resolution of the case. Additionally, find any and all paperwork (checks or receipts of money paid, repairs, licensing, etc) that you have paid out for the trailer. Since it is in your name, I highly doubt that the courts will give him anything unless he can PROVE that he paid a certain amount. If they do, they will deduct your monetary contributions.
THIS THIS THIS -- have your attorney handle everything. Please do not cave in to his bullying! Document everything in a notebook...date, time place what occurred..... Let your attorney handle this -- I do not think you owe him a dime. |
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The Vaccinator
Posts: 3810
Location: Slipping down the slope of old age. Boo hoo. | Oh and document how much he owes you in child support -- give that to your attorney...and if he continues with this mess -- get his check garnished for your child support. Do--- not cave in. |
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 Veteran
Posts: 246
Location: OK | I would DEFINITELY be keeping track of attorney fees and court costs regarding the trailer. HIS attorney (and maybe yours) will try to stretch it out. I know more than one EX who has tried to "break" the other party with ongoing legal fees - so they will just give up and give in. If he thinks he's going to get hung with court and lawyer costs, maybe he'll drop it.
In some states, they have a child support registry where the parent must pay in to the registry and then they pay the custodial parent. That way, there is documentation and a legal record that you can go back and show he's not doing his parental duties.
As far as paying off HIS credit cards-that's a joke. No way, no how-- in most courts he would be laughed out of the courtroom. If you choose to pay him for the things that were charged for you, then so be it but I would have it delivered where he must sign for it to show this was paid-don't send it with your mom.
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Undercover Amish Mafia Member
Posts: 9992
Location: Kansas | At this current time, nothing has been filed court wise because of he wants me to pay him for everything and he wants possession of the trailer......he can take me to court for it. unfortunately my family has no money, so my mom couldn't help me even if she tried. Being disabled puts a financial strain on her. |
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 Shelter Dog Lover
Posts: 10277
| Sorry you are going through this, hope it gets worked out f or your daughters sake. |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 448
Location: lone star state | Your child deserves child support. Go to your states attorney general and ask for child support. This is done at no cost to you. They also can help establish visitation. If he is on the birth certificate he has just as much right to possesion as you without a court order meaning he can refuse to return her to you. The AG will not get involved in the trailer matter only custody and child support. |
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Undercover Amish Mafia Member
Posts: 9992
Location: Kansas | I have residential custody, and he has a battery charge.....if he doesn't return my child to me which has happened...I will contact the police just like I did last time. An officer called him and basically told him to hand her over or else he would personally come to his house and it wouldn't be good |
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 Shipwrecked and Flat Out Zapped
Posts: 16390
Location: DUMPING CATS AND PIGS IN TEXAS :) | Get a different lawyer. Enough is enough from this guy. |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 915
Location: SE KS | If you have a court ordered thru the State of Kansas child support order, "you should" be able to receive
assistance from the State of Kansas on the back child support. As I said before SRS "could" assist or at least
advise you on a route to take.
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Googly Goo
Posts: 7053
| hoofs_in_motion - 2015-01-12 7:34 PM At this current time, nothing has been filed court wise because of he wants me to pay him for everything and he wants possession of the trailer......he can take me to court for it. unfortunately my family has no money, so my mom couldn't help me even if she tried. Being disabled puts a financial strain on her. Until a suit is filled, quit wasting money on an inempt attorney. Save the money you're giving him for somebody that knows what they are doing in case a civil suit or criminal complaint is filed. Until then just say no. You've got the cart before the horse. Give them no information and do not negotiate a settlement. You have no idea what their foundation is and you may be helping them.
Edited by TXBO 2015-01-13 11:45 AM
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Undercover Amish Mafia Member
Posts: 9992
Location: Kansas | TXBO - 2015-01-13 10:37 AM hoofs_in_motion - 2015-01-12 7:34 PM At this current time, nothing has been filed court wise because of he wants me to pay him for everything and he wants possession of the trailer......he can take me to court for it. unfortunately my family has no money, so my mom couldn't help me even if she tried. Being disabled puts a financial strain on her. Until a suit is filled, quit wasting money on an inempt attorney. Save the money you're giving him for somebody that knows what they are doing in case a civil suit or criminal complaint is filed. Until then just say no. You've got the cart before the horse. Give them no information and do not negotiate a settlement. You have no idea what there foundation is and you may be helping them.
okay, I ended up breaking down last night and left a very histeral message for the attorney asking him to withdraw. Right now my bill with him is over $1,200....he is doing absolutely nothing for me. |
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Googly Goo
Posts: 7053
| hoofs_in_motion - 2015-01-13 10:41 AM okay, I ended up breaking down last night and left a very histeral message for the attorney asking him to withdraw. Right now my bill with him is over $1,200....he is doing absolutely nothing for me.
Good. There are a couple attorneys on this board. Maybe you can get one of them to chime in. I believe RedRaider is one.
Informal settlements are reserved for reasonable people with reasonable disputes and have low risk of future legal ramifications. And they are done without attorneys. You are way past that.
Formal disputes require competent attorneys and afford you due process and rule of law. In formal disputes, you have two options. 1) Respond to a formal prayer for relief. 2) File a prayer for relief. Both should have a legal basis. Until that time, you will go in circles.
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 Forever Young
Posts: 6768
Location: relocated to Texas | hoofs_in_motion - 2015-01-13 9:01 AM The thing is, I want him to take me to court....but his attorney keeps dragging it out further and further so we don't have to go to court. They want me to settle and pay half the cost of the trailer....as well as pay off 2 of his credit cards that my name isn't on.
His attorney doesn't want to go to court because it doesn't sound like he will win the case. On the other hand, it they wear you out with threats and get you to settle, they will likely win more than they would going to court. Just don't be intimidated and let them take you to court. Don't discuss things with your ex or his mother. When you meet him to pick up or drop off your child, I would record the conversation. Try your best to keep emotions out of it. People make the wrong decisions when they get emotional. Then they start calling attorneys for every little thing and run up their legal bills. Calmer heads will prevail here, be that voice of calm. |
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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 596
| Hope all turns out in your favor |
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 Expert
Posts: 2457
| Hoofs - I've got nothing but prayers and support. I'm sorry you are dealing with a true d bag. |
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Industrial Srength Barrel Racer
Posts: 7268
| hoofs_in_motion - 2015-01-13 10:41 AM TXBO - 2015-01-13 10:37 AM hoofs_in_motion - 2015-01-12 7:34 PM At this current time, nothing has been filed court wise because of he wants me to pay him for everything and he wants possession of the trailer......he can take me to court for it. unfortunately my family has no money, so my mom couldn't help me even if she tried. Being disabled puts a financial strain on her. Until a suit is filled, quit wasting money on an inempt attorney. Save the money you're giving him for somebody that knows what they are doing in case a civil suit or criminal complaint is filed. Until then just say no. You've got the cart before the horse. Give them no information and do not negotiate a settlement. You have no idea what there foundation is and you may be helping them.
I'm glad you "fired" him, I'm sorry he basically ripped you off. I hope you can get a good lawyer and this ends up in your favor. Many positive thoughts being sent your way. |
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Good Ole Boys just Fine with Me
Posts: 2869
Location: SE Missouri | Terrible situation and prayers to you! |
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 BHW Resident Surgeon
Posts: 25352
Location: Bastrop, Texas | And the moral of the story is.....................?
At any rate, all of this crap should be handled by/through your attorney. You should at the very least know what constitutes a common law marriage in your state by now.
Good luck! |
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 Bulls Eye
Posts: 6443
Location: Oklahoma | Bear - 2015-01-14 7:30 AM And the moral of the story is.....................? At any rate, all of this crap should be handled by/through your attorney. You should at the very least know what constitutes a common law marriage in your state by now. Good luck!
I find this post to be very unhelpful. She came on here asking for advice. No need to say "And the moral of this story is...........?" |
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BHW Resident Surgeon
Posts: 25352
Location: Bastrop, Texas | TwistedK - 2015-01-14 8:45 AM
Bear - 2015-01-14 7:30 AM And the moral of the story is.....................? At any rate, all of this crap should be handled by/through your attorney. You should at the very least know what constitutes a common law marriage in your state by now. Good luck!
I find this post to be very unhelpful. She came on here asking for advice. No need to say "And the moral of this story is...........?"
I put that comment in because I feel we all learn from our own mistakes and that of others. In my opinion, the lesson to be learned is to be mindful of what could transpire in a relationship where there is cohabitation, in the event things go south.
My comment about the attorney was to make the point that a good attorney would have clarified what constitutes a "common law marriage" in her state. It doesn't appear that he accomplished this. It sounds like she has a already concluded that she needs a new attorney. |
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Undercover Amish Mafia Member
Posts: 9992
Location: Kansas | Bear - 2015-01-14 9:22 AM TwistedK - 2015-01-14 8:45 AM Bear - 2015-01-14 7:30 AM And the moral of the story is.....................? At any rate, all of this crap should be handled by/through your attorney. You should at the very least know what constitutes a common law marriage in your state by now. Good luck! I find this post to be very unhelpful. She came on here asking for advice. No need to say "And the moral of this story is...........?" I put that comment in because I feel we all learn from our own mistakes and that of others. In my opinion, the lesson to be learned is to be mindful of what could transpire in a relationship where there is cohabitation, in the event things go south. My comment about the attorney was to make the point that a good attorney would have clarified what constitutes a "common law marriage" in her state. It doesn't appear that he accomplished this. It sounds like she has a already concluded that she needs a new attorney.
The moral of the story is.....I was an idiot to have ever met him (but thankful because I have my daughter) but nonetheless, this guy still scares me.
My attorney never said anything about common law marriage, I never ever considered anything with that man since I hated him so much in the relationship and felt trapped because of my child. But his attorney is working it as a "marriage" case when my attorney had said "no this is just a paternity case."
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BHW Resident Surgeon
Posts: 25352
Location: Bastrop, Texas | I'm sorry that you have to go through this nightmare. The good news is it will soon be history and you can move on with your little girl by your side.
In the end, you really will be stronger and wiser because of this. I'm sure you are tired of hearing those comments! A good attorney will earn his/her money by acting in your best interest and dealing with the crap. |
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Warmblood with Wings
Posts: 27846
Location: Florida.. | Go to courthouse and tell them you want to apply for child support and go from there.. leave the other crap out of it for now. if he and his attorney want to take you for court for that then let them.. if you have done nothing wrong and owe him nothing then DONT waste your time or money on a lawyer
its black and white. if indeed he paid for trailer then give it to him.
but he owes child support, he has to pay it . all other stuff is nonsense . |
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Googly Goo
Posts: 7053
| TwistedK - 2015-01-14 8:45 AM Bear - 2015-01-14 7:30 AM And the moral of the story is.....................? At any rate, all of this crap should be handled by/through your attorney. You should at the very least know what constitutes a common law marriage in your state by now. Good luck! I find this post to be very unhelpful. She came on here asking for advice. No need to say "And the moral of this story is...........?"
The only good advice is to seek competent council. Anything else is simply thread conversation.
Edited by TXBO 2015-01-14 10:14 AM
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BHW Resident Surgeon
Posts: 25352
Location: Bastrop, Texas | TXBO - 2015-01-14 10:13 AM
TwistedK - 2015-01-14 8:45 AM Bear - 2015-01-14 7:30 AM And the moral of the story is.....................? At any rate, all of this crap should be handled by/through your attorney. You should at the very least know what constitutes a common law marriage in your state by now. Good luck! I find this post to be very unhelpful. She came on here asking for advice. No need to say "And the moral of this story is...........?"
The only good advice is to seek competent council. Anything else is simply thread conversation.
Agreed |
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Shipwrecked and Flat Out Zapped
Posts: 16390
Location: DUMPING CATS AND PIGS IN TEXAS :) | I would like to say that I have some "unconventional" advise for you too. It involves a swamp, mosquitos, honey and marshmellows. |
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Hungarian Midget Woman
Location: Midwest | LRQHS - 2015-01-14 10:34 AM I would like to say that I have some "unconventional" advise for you too. It involves a swamp, mosquitos, honey and marshmellows.
and gators |
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The Advice Guru
Posts: 6419
| LRQHS - 2015-01-14 10:34 AM
I would like to say that I have some "unconventional" advise for you too. It involves a swamp, mosquitos, honey and marshmellows.
Lol
The shoot, shovel, and shut up method. |
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OT - I need advice