NJJ - 2015-02-15 12:46 PM

Scott, someone posted this poem for me when I put my old horse down. I have it printed and mounted in a frame.....I hope it brings you peace!

  The Barrel Horse’s Heaven…….
 
As I walk along this dark path
I wonder what lies in store
I've been down long dark alleys
None as long and dark as this before.
 
There's a light at the end of this tunnel
And a man waving from the gate
This time isn't like the others..
There’s no “Hurry up”, there’s no wait
 
The ground is soft and perfect
The crowd is big and loud
This isn't like other summers
There’s no mud or dust clouds
 
Everything is perfect
I hear my riders name
He's not with me on this trip
but he's with me just the same.
 
I turn 3 flawless turns and rush home
I can hear the angels sing
The warm smile I receive from my creator
Makes this whole paradise Gleam
 
He says Welcome home old champion
You've made your last run
Then He opens the gate to the greenest pastures
And says go ahead, you've won this one
 
As I think back to the owner I left behind
I know we'll meet again.
I'll be there to take him on that final run
Where winners always win.

Bear - 2015-02-15 12:24 PM Thanks to everyone for the kind words and condolences.  Bear broke his left leg above the hock doing what he loved to do, barrel racing.  It was a beautiful sunny 75 degree day, and Carol had a friend over for a lesson.  It had been quite a while since we'd made a run, and the ground was real nice, so I warmed him up for about 20 minutes and we made a run.  As we approached the second barrel his rear end went down more than usual, and he went down on his belly on the back side.  He kept his front legs churning, but I rolled off him and he went over on his side after waiting for me to pull my foot out of the stirrup, as he'd done a number of times to save me over the years.  That was Bear.....thinking of me first.  He got back up and I knew right away it was the worst, when I saw how his leg was dangling. I led him over to the gate, hopping on 3 legs.  I stood by him for the next 2 hours until the vet arrived, doing everything I could to keep him comfortable.  I gave him Banamine, apples, alfalfa, fresh sweet grass, and let him splash water on me in the water trough.  He didn't seem like he was in a great deal of pain, but knowing Bear, Im sure he somehow knew.  The vet was a real nice guy and gave it to me straight.  I led him out of the arena and let him nibble on tha grass for a while as the vet talked to me and then got everything ready.  We stood there looking into each other's eyes, and he gently laid down.  I caressed his head, told him I love him, as he took his last breath and the life faded out of those beautiful, wise eyes.  People were kind enough to walk away as I held his head and, I have to confess, I sobbed like a child.  Dal Denton, Anna Berghede, and Alik Derma, all friends of ours, were there until Bear was buried.  Dal was so kind and thoughtful.  We went out and picked out a resting place beneath a big beautiful Cedar tree in a place in the pasture where the horses never go.  Later that night, right after sunset, I looked out toward that tree and saw the horses gathered around it.  That was Bear....teaching me things and humbling me, even after leaving this life.  

It wasn't his breeding so much that made him special to me, although Jill Moody and Britany Diaz can vouch for that; it was his heart and his personality and ability to show love. Bear was raised and trained by Karen George and was sold to Michele Mortenson after a successful futurity year. He was later sold to Michele Mortenson, and they carried that success into the rodeo arena, as they became quite a team. I bought Bear as a 12 year old and he taught me so much, I can't even begin to say.  He taught me more than horsemanship and barrel racing and we became best friends.  Nobody spent more time with Bear than me, and I tried to give him the best home possible.  He rewarded me with a treasure trove of lessons and experiences, many of which I have shared over the years on BHW.  

It's been a tough 24 hours for me.....it seems as if my grief is like a pressure cooker.  The memories keep passing through my mind, and the sadness builds up, then it's released.  Im embarassed to admit that I've cried like a kid off and on. Just when I start to feel better, the memories get re-played and the sadness builds up again, until I let it out.  I know almost all of you know what I'm talking about.  I used to say that Bear is human, and Carol was always quick to remind me, "No, he's not human....he's a lot better than that."

I sure spent a lot of time on that talented, beautiful horse.  I'm sure glad I did.  

Bear - 2015-02-18 4:02 PM Looking back, it's kinda funny how I tried to hide my red eyes from the vet. I didn't care so much what the other people thought, because they were all bawling anyway, including the two men. The vet was a real nice guy (I forgot his name), and he did a good job of reassuring me that there wasn't a realistic chance of saving Bear. He tried to make small talk when he talked about "the great ones" who always seem to be the ones who meet this kind of end. As he was getting everything set up, I tried not I make eye contact with him, because I didn't want him to see my red eyes. He talked about his real good calf roping horse, and how Bear reminds him of his gelding. I eventually looked up and saw his eyes were a little wet as well. This guy probably spent two hours or more coming and going, but he wasted no time getting out to our place from Elgin. He charged us $200 for all that. Nice fella.....so it doesn't surprise me that he was a tad overcome himself.

sophiebelle - 2015-02-17 8:44 PM

 Scott and Carol, y'all have been on my mind today and while scrolling through life's events on FB today, I came across a post of one of my friends going through a difficult time. What her uncle wrote made me think of you, so I'll repeat his words: 
Grief never ends...but it changes. It's a passage, not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith...It is the price of love.
It may be something he got somewhere, or it may be his own words. Which ever is the case, I hope it brings you peace. 

Bear - 2015-02-18 7:49 PM Ain't that the truth!? Thanks.

sophiebelle - 2015-02-17 8:44 PM

 Scott and Carol, y'all have been on my mind today and while scrolling through life's events on FB today, I came across a post of one of my friends going through a difficult time. What her uncle wrote made me think of you, so I'll repeat his words: 
Grief never ends...but it changes. It's a passage, not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith...It is the price of love.
It may be something he got somewhere, or it may be his own words. Which ever is the case, I hope it brings you peace. 

Chandler's Mom - 2015-02-17 9:39 PM


That reminded me of what one of my best friends told me when we had a scare with my old boy-----she said if we love them, they're gonna break our hearts, cause we're gonna lose them. But isn't it worth more to have known and loved them?