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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 490
 
| I've been running barrels in my area for I guess about 11 years now. I started off on a consistent 3D-4D mare that I trained myself. And when I say consistent I mean pull a check almost everytime. She is now retired and I started another one that I raised. We started off at the very bottom. 4-5 seconds off. Then in 2013 it came together and we started making a handful of 2D runs with errors. And all of a sudden the ones that I thought were my friends have turned on me. Or maybe their true colors are showing when I give them a run for their money? I don't know. But I am so disappointed. The ones that were friendly and helpful when I was only added money or a 4D runner aren't anymore. My mare and I have a LONG WAY to go. We are bouncing back and forth between the 2d and 4d. It depends on how I ride on any given day :)
This actually happened yesterday... BUT First... we have 2 associations that produce shows in our area plus a local NBHA district. I have issues with one of the producers because she has put me down and treated me like I was beneath her on several occasions. I finally quit volunteering at her shows after I was told I had a stall at finals in exchange for me volunteering to set barrels. I drive almost 3 hrs to the show to be told she gave stalls away to all of her friends and my horse would have to stand tied for 3 days. I told her NO. Our agreement was that I would have a stall for her. I ended up borrowing panels from a friend and putting her in a holding pen along with other horses. Got through that weekend and never bad mouthed her to anyone but if asked if I was going to any of her shows I simply said No. I wont spend my hard earned money at a show where the producer treats people the way she does.
I help in the office with the other association. Several times she has came up to the office and talked down to me about this or that. Ok do it when were alone but DO NOT talk to me like Im an idiot when their are other people around. Ive let it go but pretty much made up my mind to avoid her and her click. I don't need negativity. I work with someone just like her and deal with it 5 days out of the week.
Any who.....
The association that I help with was forced Thursday to move the race scheduled for sunday (Yesterday). The rodeo that was planned for Friday night was moved to sunday and they called to tell my friend that she would have to move her show that has been booked for a few months now. So the scramble to find a pen was on. Because of the days of rain we've had all the outdoor pens were a no go. So we had the choice of 2 covered pens. They chose a pen that has been known for hard slick ground if not worked properly. I know my friend and I know what she can do with ground. So I wasn't worried. They started watering, ripping and dragging the pen early Saturday to get it ready.
I was warming my new horse up yesterday before exhibitions when the "other producer" walks into the stands. Im loping circles and called out Hey how are you to her. She very rudely asks me if the barrels are staked for exhibitions. I never stopped loping but told her I didn't know and she needed to ask the producer. She was pre entered since she had to get home early. My friend said she walked up and shoved a $5 in her face and told her she wasn't entering.
THEN this lady went around and started telling everyone that would listen that the ground was dangerous and they didn't need to run. 8 people followed her out. AND THE GROUND WAS GREAT! In 70+ runs the few slips I saw were from the riders getting in the horses way. And that happens everywhere even on ground that it perfect. The ones that left are "rodeo girls" but said that they don't want to run on that kind of ground. I was flabbergasted that she would A- start the rumors and B- that she would do that to a friend and fellow producer. Ive seen them run on ground that was treacherous before.
Then today I am told that shes saying I was a complete b*@#* to her yesterday. I said 2 things to her!!!!!! REALLY??!?!?!? I am so fed up with 2 faced lying unhappy people.
And Im to the point I don't want to run at these shows. If you don't run a $30k horse or drive a $150k rig then your treated like your beneath them. I have a few friends that we cheer each other on, we critique each other and we help each other. What happened to that mentality? Where did it go and why? I miss it. ALOT. My horse can run with them and I cannot wait until the day we pull a 1D check. Its coming. I know with dedication and time we will get it. |
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 Undercover Amish Mafia Member
Posts: 9991
  
Location: Kansas | I don't want to come off as blunt...but who cares? This lady obviously needs to grow up, no point it letting her crappy attitude towards you bother you so much. Don't run at her shows, don't bad mouth her...and when you see her in public, don't say a word...just smile at her...that will **** her off more than anything.
I deal with 2 faced people on a daily basis, hence why I have learned to keep to myself. Do what makes you happy, that should be all that matters
Edited by hoofs_in_motion 2015-03-16 10:38 AM
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Assistant to the Braun..
Posts: 1249
Location: Texas | It is everywhere!! People are just snotty and mean. I would just let the haters be your motivators. I have taken a path very similar to yours. I show up run early , get my work points in and leave. I just do not have the time anymore or the patience to put up with small minded people. Karma will get them in the end and I will not sink to their level. Chin up and keep the eye on the prize!! |
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I Really Love Jeans
Posts: 3173
Location: North Dakota | Just be very careful who you associate with. I have a very small circle of friends because I refuse to be friends with or deal with ANYONE who is negative! |
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I just read the headlines
Posts: 4483
| If she is rude to you, why even speak to her before she speaks to you? If someone is rude/uppity to me, I don't speak to them unless they talk first. If they are rude/uppity when speaking to me, I reply briefly only to answer their question. I am not going to waste my word/time on hateful people. I don't care if they think I am rude. They aren't on my radar. I have been known to walk by people and not acknowledge them if they are rude to me. I'd just as soon they do the same with me. I hate talking to people I don't like and who don't like me. I have helped produce barrel races and rodeos and it is not just barrel racers who do this. For that matter, any activity is going to have those kind of people any more. Kids' sports are the worst! Just ignore her and her friends, you sure don't need them. |
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  Fact Checker
Posts: 16572
Location: Displaced Iowegian | Personally, your title disturbs me more than anything that you wrote....WHY blame ALL barrel racers? That being said, I agree with Hoofs....WHO CARES........when you let other people impact your life, you are the one to blame. Not them.......Ignore the haters and move on with your life....... |
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 Own It and Move On
Location: The edge of no where | hoofs_in_motion - 2015-03-16 10:36 AM I don't want to come off as blunt...but who cares? This lady obviously needs to grow up, no point it letting her crappy attitude towards you bother you so much. Don't run at her shows, don't bad mouth her...and when you see her in public, don't say a word...just smile at her...that will **** her off more than anything.
I deal with 2 faced people on a daily basis, hence why I have learned to keep to myself. Do what makes you happy, that should be all that matters
Exactly. There's nasty people everywhere, just ignore them. |
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 Scorpions R Us
Posts: 9586
Location: So. Cali. | To answer the question in short, Yes, it happens every where.
Smile, be proud of what you've accomplished, race where you have FUN and with whom you have fun with!
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Expert
Posts: 1694
Location: Willows, CA | I was talking to a customer this morning about his feeding program. As he was telling me about all he was going through to feed issues that he had with his horse, I was amazed that a person would go through all that to own a horse. I finally told him that this is supposed to be fun, and we needed to get his mare to a place where it could be. There is a parallel here. Most of us don't step up on that horse every day to make a living. We do it for the enjoyment of doing it. Your situation needs to be the same. Ignore the little minded people, enjoy the company of like minded people and treasure the time that you get to spend on your horse. Just ignore haters.
Edited by winwillows 2015-03-16 12:03 PM
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 669
Location: Central Texas | angelica - 2015-03-16 10:44 AM
Just be very careful who you associate with. I have a very small circle of friends because I refuse to be friends with or deal with ANYONE who is negative!
Absolutely this! |
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 A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | I agree with all the nasty people out, sounds like they are just super JEALOUS of you. Just be proud of how you and your horse is doing, And its not only barrels racers, its everywhere that is sport related. Not fair saying its the barrel racers. Edit to fix my spelling 
Edited by Southtxponygirl 2015-03-16 12:48 PM
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 Keeper of the King Snake
Posts: 7616
Location: Dubach, LA | You don't list a location, but from the description of events, I assume you live around here.  Seriously, I think it's like that pretty much everywhere. Just roll on and let them hate. |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 929
| If I didn't know any better I would say that you were dealing with hunter/jumper people like I used to. It happens in all equestrian sports...and other non-equestrian sports, too, I guess. Just ignore them. Do those people really matter? Or just use their hating on you to fuel your desire to win. I love pulling up with my $800 trailer and $1000 horse and seeing what I can do against the fancy rigs and expensive horses.  |
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 Unknown Drip
Posts: 5624
Location: Back in MT BABY!!! | It's not just barrel racers its women in general...and its everywhere you go. Is it right? No but thats the way some of them are.
People choose to run or not run for various reasons and it's their choice to do so. I try to stay out of all the drama/nonsense as much as possible. And the majority of the time this means avoiding certain people who stir the pot. Worry about you and yours and ignore the rest. |
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The Advice Guru
Posts: 6419
| Your title REALLY DISAPPOINTED IN BARREL RACERS I find offensive and petty.
It sounds like you are having a bad experience with one, but have decided all barrel racers are evil.
If you don't like it find something different to do
Also there is the another side to the story we don't know, your personality may have changed subtly when you started doting better, you may be acting like you are better then them, non verbals can tell a lot. One example you wouldn't take time to stop your horse and have a discussion with the person, you continued to lope circles, this shows that you think she is beneath her, as you couldn't stop and give her your focus.
It isn't always the other people's fault on why they are no longer "your friends" you may need to reflect back on your own behaviours.
You may also need to reflect back on how you choose your friends, as this may be flawed.
As with everything there are bad apples in everything, what makes a person is how they deal with these situations.
You choose to lump all barrel racers, and if you barrel race this includes you too. So as your title says you are DISAPPOINTED IN ALL BARREL RACERS, INCLUDING YOURSELF.
You are the only one who can change it |
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 Expert
Posts: 1857
| It happens every where, in everything, and to every one! Unfortunately there is always "that person" around! We have one that trolls all of our events and talks nonsense.... Just ignore and kill'em with kindness! I found a meme that fits very well for me that said, "I smile at people that don't like me because i'm an a$$hole!" |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 490
| cheryl makofka - 2015-03-16 2:06 PM
Your title REALLY DISAPPOINTED IN BARREL RACERS I find offensive and petty.
It sounds like you are having a bad experience with one, but have decided all barrel racers are evil.
If you don't like it find something different to do
Also there is the another side to the story we don't know, your personality may have changed subtly when you started doting better, you may be acting like you are better then them, non verbals can tell a lot. One example you wouldn't take time to stop your horse and have a discussion with the person, you continued to lope circles, this shows that you think she is beneath her, as you couldn't stop and give her your focus.
It isn't always the other people's fault on why they are no longer "your friends" you may need to reflect back on your own behaviours.
You may also need to reflect back on how you choose your friends, as this may be flawed.
As with everything there are bad apples in everything, what makes a person is how they deal with these situations.
You choose to lump all barrel racers, and if you barrel race this includes you too. So as your title says you are DISAPPOINTED IN ALL BARREL RACERS, INCLUDING YOURSELF.
You are the only one who can change it
Ive read a lot of your posts and I find you closed minded and offensive.
NO I have not changed because my horse keeps me humble. We'll have a good run and then 5 not so good runs. Its an up and down ride with us. I am thru with the drama and bull**** pettiness that certain riders have. I am here to have fun. And better my riding.
NO I did not stop warming my horse up to talk to her. I will not go out of my way to talk to her after the way she has treated me for the past 6 months. I will say hi but that's it. I wasn't rude in my answer. I didn't know if they were staked yet.
I hang with some of the most humble down to earth people you will ever meet. They challenge me to be a better rider. Yes there is a healthy competition between us but we all want each other to do well.
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Assistant to the Braun..
Posts: 1249
Location: Texas | Personally I think its petty to pick apart a title. Geez people just lighten up. You wonder why no one wants to ask a question or have an opinion. I really think she was coming here to vent and express herself and then it somehow turned on her as the bad guy. This is really unfortunate....... |
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Undercover Amish Mafia Member
Posts: 9991
Location: Kansas |  |
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 Thread Killer
Posts: 7543
| My life got about 100X easier when I stopped caring about what other people thought or said about me. By "caring", you're just adding more fuel to the dramatic fire.
My favorite thing to do is get up and walk away when drama, gossip, or other petty things make their way into conversation. I don't have to listen to their incessant whining and can get on with my life. |
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 Schnoodle Lover
Posts: 2987
Location: **Cactus Country down in South Texas*** | Its everywhere, I don't care for any local stuff where I am at. If you are not brown nosing then consider your self not welcome. I just keep to myself, say hello and ride my horse. Because who cares, at the end of the day I just want to have fun and ride. I read a really good bible verse lastnight and it speaks volumes for it self (As one piece of iron sharpens another, so friends keep each other sharp. Provb 27:17) Keep positive people in your life, and get rid of the negative. God works in seasons, he can take the negative out and bring the postive in the next. But its up to you to let him do so. |
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 Take a Picture
Posts: 12838
| First of all if this person is rude to you she is surely rude to others. She will cut her own throat and people will stop going to her shows. I don't know how old you are but I am old and don't put up with other peoples bs. I am nice to everyone but they only get one chance. Have you ever heard "Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me"? Remember that. Distance yourself from users and negative people. I am happy that you are doing well with your new horse and hope you continue to improve. There are negative people in every walk of life. Fortunately, MOST of the people who run around here are glad to see everyone do well. |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 477
Location: Lost in the swamps | It's everywhere! Some people get so jealious! they will talk you down to only build themselves up! and if they don't cheer for you during your times of glory! shame on them. They really weren't your friend to begin with! That's why I have very small circle friends that encourage and help with our troubles and cheer and congratulate each other for our victories!
Edited by imturnin3 2015-03-16 4:00 PM
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 490
| TxSweetie - 2015-03-16 3:05 PM
Personally I think its petty to pick apart a title. Geez people just lighten up. You wonder why no one wants to ask a question or have an opinion. I really think she was coming here to vent and express herself and then it somehow turned on her as the bad guy. This is really unfortunate.......
Its ok it's not the first time they have made me out to be the bad guy... Yes I was venting. I have ran with some of these ladies for years and really respected them. Until I started helping in the office I guess I've had rose colored glasses on. Their off now and I'm seeing them for how they really are. |
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 Dog Resuce Agent
Posts: 3459
Location: southeast Texas | (In a southern drawl)
sweetie, pull your big girl panties up and keep on keeping on.
picking up the green at the pay window is its own revenge. |
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The Advice Guru
Posts: 6419
| Jazz's Girl - 2015-03-16 2:51 PM
cheryl makofka - 2015-03-16 2:06 PM
Your title REALLY DISAPPOINTED IN BARREL RACERS I find offensive and petty.
It sounds like you are having a bad experience with one, but have decided all barrel racers are evil.
If you don't like it find something different to do
Also there is the another side to the story we don't know, your personality may have changed subtly when you started doting better, you may be acting like you are better then them, non verbals can tell a lot. One example you wouldn't take time to stop your horse and have a discussion with the person, you continued to lope circles, this shows that you think she is beneath her, as you couldn't stop and give her your focus.
It isn't always the other people's fault on why they are no longer "your friends" you may need to reflect back on your own behaviours.
You may also need to reflect back on how you choose your friends, as this may be flawed.
As with everything there are bad apples in everything, what makes a person is how they deal with these situations.
You choose to lump all barrel racers, and if you barrel race this includes you too. So as your title says you are DISAPPOINTED IN ALL BARREL RACERS, INCLUDING YOURSELF.
You are the only one who can change it
Ive read a lot of your posts and I find you closed minded and offensive.
NO I have not changed because my horse keeps me humble. We'll have a good run and then 5 not so good runs. Its an up and down ride with us. I am thru with the drama and bull**** pettiness that certain riders have. I am here to have fun. And better my riding.
NO I did not stop warming my horse up to talk to her. I will not go out of my way to talk to her after the way she has treated me for the past 6 months. I will say hi but that's it. I wasn't rude in my answer. I didn't know if they were staked yet.
I hang with some of the most humble down to earth people you will ever meet. They challenge me to be a better rider. Yes there is a healthy competition between us but we all want each other to do well.
Self awareness is a continuous thing, you may not be aware of what you are a really doing.
I never said your answer was rude, but the individual could have taken your demeanour as rude.
Why even holler out in the arena to say hi, while warming up your horse? Why not wait till after you were done warming up your horse?
If you don't like this person so much, why even say hi in the first place? By hollering out in a public place, you are drawing attention to both yourself and her, she may not have wanted this.
As for what I post to replies, you are free to think whatever you want. |
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Common Sense and then some
Location: So. California | I hear your frustration... Honestly, you are ALLOWING them to frustrate you and you are giving all your power away. This isn't about money, horses, rigs, or what not. This is about you allowing someone else to dictate how you are feeling. It's time to take your power back.
Take a deep breath and do NOT allow "them" free rent in your head. Only you can kick them out. Here is what has worked for me (mostly with work colleagues...)
I pray for the person I am frustrated with/resentful of. I pray for them to have good health, happiness and much love. ALL positive things (NOTHING to do with me), just general positive thoughts and vibes.
Pray for them every day for a month. Yes, every day!
You will be surprised at how you feel in 30 days, it works!
When they continue to gossip, let them and laugh on the inside. Can you imagine why they think your life is so fascinating? Maybe their life is so monotonous??? I've even asked a few that... "I was surpised that they found my life interesting, in fact I was flattered. Especially since I thought my life was pretty darn average" And, I thanked them for thinking of me so much! 
In the end, it's all about prayer and perception.
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 You get what you give
Posts: 13030
Location: Texas | I just don't worry about it. I say hi, and if I don't get a response back, I blow it off or make a joke out of it. If someone has a problem with me, we can deal with it.. otherwise, life is too short.
To my knowledge, I haven't lost any friends when I started doing better at the jackpots. I'm sure people talk but whatever. Can't stop people from talking. |
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| Again, when a person comes on a public forum and asks for opinions, you have to expect a wide range of opinions. When that has happened to me I reread what I wrote and can usually see where I could have done a better job of presenting my issue or position. If 10 people read the same thing you will get between 2 to 10 different interpretations.
Glad that you and your horse are coming along. I am currently without a ride and working too much to have time for one anyway. But it's really getting to me.
Good luck. The best revenge is to do well! |
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Expert
Posts: 1561
| The next time you beat them do the moon walk leaving the arena then grab your crotch Michael Jackson style. |
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Expert
Posts: 1561
| Just imagine it...
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 490
| Hahaha Itsme..... I trip over air! I can guarantee I would make everyone laugh if I attempt that! |
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 To the Left
Posts: 1865
Location: Florida | roxieannie - 2015-03-16 5:20 PM (In a southern drawl)
sweetie, pull your big girl panties up and keep on keeping on.
picking up the green at the pay window is its own revenge.
What she said. |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 600
Location: Oklahoma & Texas | Shake it off. ..whenever someone's rude to me or mean I just tell myself they're obviously having a bad day...who knows what demons their fighting of their own...and in the end you are the only one in control of your destiny...don't waste 1 more second dwelling on what they said or why they said it... |
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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 422
Location: Fort Bragg North Carolina | By reading some of your comments it's obvious who the "bully barrel racers" are-why be offended by the title it's true barrel racers are cruel and mean whether they are to your face or behind your back it's the sport it's the competitiveness. Everyone has done it! To the orginal post: it's everywhere in all associations I personally don't speak to many ppl at shows and I've been told I'm stuck up but actually just avoiding the gossip and I let the timer do the talking. Can't change people just do what you do keep your head up and remember why your running in the first place. Focus on you and your horse brush the haters off |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 490
| First of all you ASSUMED I hollered out across the pen and there were people around. Actually we were both at 1 end. And as I rode by I said hi. I say hi to everybody. Its the way I am. I didn't holler at her to draw attention to myself. So before you ASSUME and make an ass out of yourself, you need to get the facts :)
I am a friendly person. I try to hang with the ladies that are positive and challenge each other. My hauling partner is actually the one who started this association. I have a select few I will go to for advice but if someone else offers me tips I sure as heck try them out. You never know what may work. And the reason I only go to a few for advice? They are helluva good riders and their style of riding is similar to mine. Ive let 2 of them get on my mare and work her. They were able to help me even more with small issues. |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 787
Location: NE Pa-Gods Country | you obviously do not run in Pennsylvania at Diamond 7 or Keystone series. everyone is kind and friendly...no drama and 200+ run in the open. whether you are 1D or 5D....we all help and cheer for each other. it is truly a great place to run. the producers of these shows are racers also, so they are very attentive to the needs and ground conditions. So very sorry you had to deal with that. there are a few places around that are similar to your experience ....we just don't go there.
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 I Chore in Chucks
Posts: 2882
Location: MD | either call her out about it or let it go.
karma will catch up. and really the people that left probably would have b**ched about the ground anyway so don't let the door hit em on the way out. This crap is everywhere and honestly I think it is way more prevalent in the barrel industry because it's so many women crammed into one spot, and spending a lot of time and money to do this. You surround yourself with the people you want to be surrounded by. Don't drag drama into your life... let that crap carry its way out :) |
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Veteran
Posts: 264
| All I can say is I understand your frustration! I didn't realize how nasty some of the girls were until a friend accidentally caught them in one of my recorded runs. I heard some nasty comments about my weight, my horse, how I ride, how pathetic I was for trying to run with them. What was even more disappointing was the smile and "great run" comments I was getting from the same group as I walked out of the arena. It truly did hurt me. But you know what you do, use it! After that I decided to move barns, took a break from racing and I worked my *ss off. The comments were my fuel and 5 months later we set an arena record and not a single peep came from them.
Jealousy runs in the blood of the weak. It's hard, but bite your tongue and focus on yourself. They are clearly going nowhere and are threatened by you. |
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Does it happen in every association? Im really disappointed in barrel racers.