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  That's White "Man" to You
Posts: 5515
 
| Over the last year or so, the community I live in has had several youth suicides. In the last 2 weeks 2 teenagers died and and 4 were attempts that did not result in the loss of thier life. For reference our community only has about 5,000 people.
There was another school about 100 miles north of us that has 6 kids commit suicide in one week. This really has me scratching my head wondering WTH is going on.
So last night, me and a guy I work with made a group of boy scouts watch the following video. Kinda a strange choice for a group of 12 and 13 year old boys, but I think the message is the same. Anyway, it is a little older but worth watching or watching again if you may have already seen it.
It is about 6 minutes long and you need to be able to hear it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=litXW91UauE
Edited by Whiteboy 2015-03-26 11:25 AM
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 Tried and True
Posts: 21185
         Location: Where I am happiest | It is very very sad indeed. Their life is just beginning! I would like to know what the few that attempted it, what they are saying now as to the why? Why would anybody that age think they have nothing to live for? I dont get it either but I do hope they start speaking out so we can all be more informed and able to help before it comes to that. | |
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  That's White "Man" to You
Posts: 5515
 
| ThreeCorners - 2015-03-26 11:35 AM It is very very sad indeed. Their life is just beginning! I would like to know what the few that attempted it, what they are saying now as to the why? Why would anybody that age think they have nothing to live for? I dont get it either but I do hope they start speaking out so we can all be more informed and able to help before it comes to that.
One of them commented to his grandma that works for me, that he just didn't fit it. He is into the theater stuff and in a small town I can understand how that would make you feel different, but really its that bad that you want to take your life. And several of these are seniors in High School. If they only realized how life changes for them in just a few short months. | |
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Industrial Srength Barrel Racer
Posts: 7264
     
| That was a NEAT video!
My hometown had a RASH of suicides back in the late 80s. The sad/weird/strange thing is, they were all kids that were in a church study group (which I was in too) - there was nothing "funny" going on with the leader and none of us even SUSPECTED this of the ones who took their lives. It will be with me forever, wondering WHY and why could NONE of us even SEE it was to come?
My dad is in a nursing home back home where one of the mothers is, who's son committed suicide. She has dementia. She came to sit with my dad, my aunt and I in the cafeteria and she talked about 3 of her kids (I went to school with all 4 of them), then she got to the son and she said, "You know David took his own life." I told her, "Yes, I remember that and it was very sad," all while thinking - that poor woman has had this on her mind and has had this cross to bear for ALL those years. It's been said that her whole family has suffered from severe depression, I don't know if that's the case with all those kids or what. It's just a terrible, sad thing no matter. | |
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 I Chore in Chucks
Posts: 2882
        Location: MD | not saying this is why but, kids are so mean. especially with the technology and the ability to remain anonymous.... and you never know what is really going on behind closed doors in their own homes... I feel very sad for kids feeling like they have nothing left to live for. | |
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  Neat Freak
Posts: 11216
     Location: Wonderful Wyoming | In my humble opinion, we have raised weak minded people. I know not all, but the crap my 6yr old son whines about my dad would have had a meltdown had I done that. We don't cater to him, but I don't think most kids of that generation 2000's could have any survival skills as a whole. They just can't think for themselves. They can't take anything disrupting their rainbows and butterflies kind of life. I guess I have no idea how to explain what I am talking about, but compare the needy kids of today to our grandparents and great grandparents generations.
Edited by wyoming barrel racer 2015-03-26 10:02 PM
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  Neat Freak
Posts: 11216
     Location: Wonderful Wyoming | Crowned Image - 2015-03-26 10:42 AM not saying this is why but, kids are so mean. especially with the technology and the ability to remain anonymous.... and you never know what is really going on behind closed doors in their own homes... I feel very sad for kids feeling like they have nothing left to live for. and this as well. Kids are so nasty to start with, but they can continue their taunting by computer or phone with todays technology.
Edited by wyoming barrel racer 2015-03-26 11:48 AM
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 1119
 
| The last week was has been very rough for my hometown community. Three young lives were lost, all for different reasons, but one of them was a suicide. He was 25, had a great job, super popular, good looking, and seemed to have everything you could want in a life. I don't think anyone has any idea why he did it. Did he hit a rough spot and just not know how to handle it because his life had been so "perfect?" Was it something he had thought about for awhile or was it a spur of the moment decision. I am heartbroken for his family. His brother and I were friends all through school and this kid was like a younger brother. | |
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 Veteran
Posts: 253
    Location: EDGE OF INSANITY | i know i young lady who is 16, that overdosed on her mothers sleeping pills last week because she is upset about her weight. Thank god her mom found her in time. I don't understand it, but i do know how cruel kids can be to one another. I guess i was lucky in the fact that i just didn't give a crap what others thought. I was that "crazy horse girl" in high school, and i actually had another girl neigh at me like a horse every time we passed in the hall-to me, it was hilarious, because i guess she was oblivious to the fact that she had a horse face, hahaha. I have a very tender hearted 9 year old and i worry about him constantly. He has come home and repeated some really ugly things that other kids have said to him (where you want to reply- "go tell that kid to f off", but thats not acceptable lol) | |
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 Knowledge is Power
Posts: 4051
    Location: wherever my daughter's running | So tragic. Our area saw an increase in teen sucides and sucide attempts a couple of years ago. It is estimated that for every successful suicide there are 250 attempts. We worked with Mental Health America to provide QPR (Question, Persude and Refer). This training is excellent for teachers, parents, nurses, girl/boy scout leaders, all school staff, mentors, churches, any group that deals with youth. QPR is something most anyone can learn to help prevent suicide which is the 3rd leading cause of death among children ages 10-24. This may be something you may want to look into - or pass this along to someone that could help with this.
Edited by cruise 2015-03-26 12:06 PM
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 Midget Lover
          Location: Kentucky | wyoming barrel racer - 2015-03-26 12:42 PM In my humble opinion, we have raised week minded people. I know not all, but the crap my 6yr old son whines about my dad would have had a meltdown had I done that. We don't cater to him, but I don't think most kids of that generation 2000's could have any survival skills as a whole. They just can't think for themselves. They can't take anything disrupting their rainbows and butterflies kind of life. I guess I have no idea how to explain what I am talking about, but compare the needy kids of today to our grandparents and great grandparents generations.
I completely agree with this. Parents are giving their children anything and everything they ask for. There is no such thing as "no". I have a 15 year old niece and a 6 year old nephew and they are never told "no" and they literally have anything they want. My niece threw a HUGE fit when she wasn't able to get an iPhone when she was 9 years old. Are you kidding me? I told her she doesn't know how good she has it.
Social media is a also a huge problem. Kids don't realize what they say on the internet is real and hurtful. They hide behind screen names, FB, Twitter, etc. My niece was involved in a nasty post on Instragram about her appearence. It's sickening and pathetic.
I watched the movie Fury the other night and thanked God it was the Greatest Generation that fought for our country, and not the one that we are breeding for now. Yikes. | |
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  That's White "Man" to You
Posts: 5515
 
| cruise - 2015-03-26 12:04 PM So tragic. Our area saw an increase in teen sucides and sucide attempts a couple of years ago. It is estimated that for every successful suicide there are 250 attempts. We worked with Mental Health America to provide QPR (Question, Persude and Refer). This training is excellent for teachers, parents, nurses, girl/boy scout leaders, all school staff, mentors, churches, any group that deals with youth. QPR is something most anyone can learn to help prevent suicide which is the 3rd leading cause of death among children ages 10-24. This may be something you may want to look into - or pass this along to someone that could help with this.
Thank you for that information. Much appreciated. | |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 628
   Location: Missouri | It's because parents no longer have any involvement in their children's life! They set them down in front of a tv or game system and that's how they are raised. I was raised at a dinner table with my parents actively being involved in my life. If I had bullies, troubles, grade issues, anything, my parents knew about it. They also didn't allow me to bully children less fortunate than myself. If I was heard making fun of someone my parents whooped my butt and gave me a lesson on what I should really see before I make fun of someone. This bullying craze has gone on too long! Parents need to step up and control their children! It's not the children's fault directly. Look at the parents. Where are they, what do they do, and how they handle situations such as bullying and poor behavior.
I suffer from depression and take medication from time to time and have a great support system from friends and family members who keep me going. On my rough days I talk to those who life me up or spend time with my animals. I grew up thinking I had it so tough! I had bullies and issues that caused me to think taking my own life would solve everything. Luckily, or I should say unfortunately, I had a best friend who took is own life. It OPENED my eyes. I realized that suicide doesn't stop pain, it causes more!
More education on depression, the effects of bullies, and lack of parents would help people understand that children need structure in their lives from adolescents. This country and society is getting out of control! | |
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 Expert
Posts: 3815
      Location: The best kept secret in TX | In my opinion it's social media. One rude, harsh, or snide comment about a young girl's changing body could devestate her or haunt her for life. Most young boys in the public school sector are very disrespectful to young girls and have no problem with telling the girl that is interested in them that they are not interested and giving her a whole list of reasons why. Just to make himself look cool.
Don't get my started on how mean young girls are to each other either on social media... That's a different story entirely.
it's sad.
Edited by IRunOnFaith 2015-03-26 12:41 PM
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Expert
Posts: 1432
     
| Very sad... I live on the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation and it seems like there's a suicide once a week. Just had 2 this week in the community I live in.. Makes me sick.. | |
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 Expert
Posts: 3815
      Location: The best kept secret in TX | horsepoor1 - 2015-03-26 11:55 AM i know i young lady who is 16, that overdosed on her mothers sleeping pills last week because she is upset about her weight. Thank god her mom found her in time. I don't understand it, but i do know how cruel kids can be to one another. I guess i was lucky in the fact that i just didn't give a crap what others thought. I was that "crazy horse girl" in high school, and i actually had another girl neigh at me like a horse every time we passed in the hall-to me, it was hilarious, because i guess she was oblivious to the fact that she had a horse face, hahaha. I have a very tender hearted 9 year old and i worry about him constantly. He has come home and repeated some really ugly things that other kids have said to him (where you want to reply- "go tell that kid to f off", but thats not acceptable lol)
 This made me giggle because it sounds like something I would think to say. | |
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Posts: 1898
       
| It is an incredibly tragic epidemic that in my mind is somewhat man made. Parents donet take the time to sit down and talk to their kids anymore. Both parents and children are glued to technology and that is where their time is spent after school and on the weekends.
Children are not made to be uncomfortable anymore. They are handed everything they want and not made to work anything so they can "fit in" or leave their parents alone. They are not taught how to shrug things off or allowed to stand up for themselves. If someone makes them slightly uncomfortable they are told they need to tell an adult. I understand this to a certain extent but not everything that is said to them or about them in a negative way is bullying
We have also stressed being tolerant so much, their is a large of children who don't understand that not everyone is tolerant and they don't understand who to deal with it.
AND in my opinion, good old fashion ass whooping should not be handled as an assault. Charges should not be pressed because Bobby had enough of Billy crap and finally popped him in the nose over it. Working in a school, talking to students involved in bullying only goes so far especially if they come from homes with little morals or regard for human life. Last year we had a fight start between two 7th grade boys. The bigger boy had picked on the little one all year, we had counseling, police intervention, talks on end and even suspensions for it. Finally the littler one had enough and handled it on his own. One good right hook to the nose and it was all over. He didn't have problems with the bigger student the rest of the year but the bigger one pressed charges for assault. I think the judge throw out the charges but still the very fact that it was considered was crazy in my mind.
Edited by cyount2009 2015-03-26 1:12 PM
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 Expert
Posts: 4121
   Location: SE Louisiana | I sat down the other day and did some numbers that make me want to do the same thing. Maybe some of these kids were thinking about the same thing.
Is there anybody here that has NOT seen 2001 A Space Odyssey? Remember the opening clip? A bunch of Cave Men sitting in a circle. If you go out and spend one million dollars a day... for an entire year.. at the end of that year you have spent 365 million dollars... In order for you to pay off our 17 trillion dollar national debt at this rate it will take you over 46,500 years. JESUS CHRIST was born a smidgeon over 2000 years ago.... Mesopotamia and the cradle of human civilization was ..what?? 6 or 7 thousand years ago?? If you go back 30,000 years you're into the last ice age... Trip on back 46,000 years and you get to star in that opening clip of 2001 ASO.... Stone Age stuff...
...and all this has been done right under our noses.... WITH our blessing... I don't know about anyone else but it's enough to make me want to kill myself.. | |
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 Knowledge is Power
Posts: 4051
    Location: wherever my daughter's running | Whiteboy - 2015-03-26 1:06 PM cruise - 2015-03-26 12:04 PM So tragic. Our area saw an increase in teen sucides and sucide attempts a couple of years ago. It is estimated that for every successful suicide there are 250 attempts. We worked with Mental Health America to provide QPR (Question, Persude and Refer). This training is excellent for teachers, parents, nurses, girl/boy scout leaders, all school staff, mentors, churches, any group that deals with youth. QPR is something most anyone can learn to help prevent suicide which is the 3rd leading cause of death among children ages 10-24. This may be something you may want to look into - or pass this along to someone that could help with this. Thank you for that information. Much appreciated.
You are very welcome. Hope it is helpful. Thank you for your efforts to address a very tragic part of our society. | |
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What Name?
Posts: 1994
        
| So.. I had horrible depression as a teen. Just one huge emotional raging mess in all honesty. Suicide crossed my mind a lot, and you know... when I think back there is seriously no rim or reason for it. I'm quirky as all get out, even more today than I was then. Have had the same great friends for years. 16 years now. No one EVER picked on me... I was the one NO ONE messed with, and no one messed with my brother either. I am intelligent, witty, and super bubbly. but for some reason, I feel like it's a stage of life for some people. Like a personal demon that comes after a select few. It takes things that really, aren't all that bad in the grand scheme of things, like over due homework, someone being hateful at school, arguments with mom and dad, little snide comments only a sibling can make that digs... and turns those things into something someone can chew over for hours and torment themselves with.
After those years passed for me, I look back and saw how stupid and honestly selfish I was being. But because of it, I'm very emotionally aware and in tune with others. I can tell by someones eyes now when they're fighting that demon. And have intervened several times when someone needed help. The thing is, to remind them even after a fight that it's going to be okay. AND GOD... because in my darkest hours.. I always cried out for his help. God always listens. If children have God, he will see them through. | |
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  Whack and Roll
Posts: 6342
      Location: NE Texas | I have a few theories, and maybe my final opinion is cumulative to all of these theories, but I feel like parents today are putting so much pressure on their kids to be successful and living vicariously through their children instead of letting kids be kids. It seems as though parents today measure their own success through the success of their child at their given hobby (baseball, football, rodeo, etc.). It's a constant competition between parents as to whose child is the most successful and it saddens me. Parents are pushing 8 YO's to play 70 baseball games a year, they are pushing babies to put on pads and hit each other like grown men and pushing these kids until they are literally puking, we are strapping our babies on high powered barrel horses that they aren't ready for. This is not a problem with our children, it is a problem with our parents! When we were kids, my mom took me to the horse show on whatever horse was available and turned me loose. She let me play softball, basketball, cheerleading, take dance, etc, but there was never any pressure on me to be the BEST at any of it. She let me figure out who I was as a person and what I enjoyed doing the most, and because of that I grew into a well rounded adult.
The pressure that is being put on these kids at such a young age isn't fair to them. We are teaching them to feel entitled and that if we aren't "winning" we are "failing", which is absolutely not the case. I had a great coach (who is now a top college football coach) tell me one time, "You have to learn how to lose before you learn how to win!", and there is alot of truth to that statement! No child should feel that kind of pressure until they are mature enough to put it on themselves, IMO. A child is mentally capable of handling that kind of stress, pressure, and when the expectations aren't met of what they think their parents are wanting, they do feel like failures and disappointments. We never teach our kids to loose, we praise them and tell them how perfect and great they are at everything instead of teaching them that there is always going to be someone better and someone worse at everything than you. We don't pick and laugh at our kids anymore and they are never taught humility, I think, so they can't take criticism of themselves or from others.
I do believe that social media is a huge problem.....and not only for children. I see the same going on with adults and have seen alot of lives ruined by social media sites like Facebook. It does give people a sense of anonymity and makes them feel more empowered to say nasty things to each other, be sneaky, or take a stand. I recently heard a staggering statistic that stated over 30% of todays youth will have to legally change their name before entering the job market due to what they have posted or been tagged in on social media. How scary is that! How sad is that to have to completely create a new person and life to be employable!!! I see it all of the time on the one social media site I do peruse from young people and I just wish I could shake them and say WAKE UP!!!!
I think we will continue to see this trend increasing unfortunately. There is definitely a problem, but I don't believe it's our children. Children are the same, it's the parenting and the things available to them before they are mature enough to handle the situation (pressure of success, inappropriate things on the internet that kids have access to through their phones, Facebook, and just the overall pressure of living up to the expectations the parents have set forth for them) that is plaquing our youth.
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 Knowledge is Power
Posts: 4051
    Location: wherever my daughter's running | Whiteboy - 2015-03-26 12:41 PM ThreeCorners - 2015-03-26 11:35 AM It is very very sad indeed. Their life is just beginning! I would like to know what the few that attempted it, what they are saying now as to the why? Why would anybody that age think they have nothing to live for? I dont get it either but I do hope they start speaking out so we can all be more informed and able to help before it comes to that. One of them commented to his grandma that works for me, that he just didn't fit it. He is into the theater stuff and in a small town I can understand how that would make you feel different, but really its that bad that you want to take your life. And several of these are seniors in High School. If they only realized how life changes for them in just a few short months.
So very true --- but youg people live in the here and now and it is so hard to get them to understand there is a whole new world after high school. I watched both my girls, neither of who "fit in" at school, struggle. They were bullied and had few friends. Girls are the worst of the worst when it comes to being mean to other girls. They grew up - got out of high school - found that whole new world and are leading very happy lives. It was an awful road to walk when they were younger. | |
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Red Bull Agressive
Posts: 5981
         Location: North Dakota | wyoming barrel racer - 2015-03-26 11:42 AM
In my humble opinion, we have raised week minded people. I know not all, but the crap my 6yr old son whines about my dad would have had a meltdown had I done that. We don't cater to him, but I don't think most kids of that generation 2000's could have any survival skills as a whole. They just can't think for themselves. They can't take anything disrupting their rainbows and butterflies kind of life. I guess I have no idea how to explain what I am talking about, but compare the needy kids of today to our grandparents and great grandparents generations.
I see what you're saying. Not that I'm old, I'm in my 20's but my sister was born in '99 and can not LIVE without constantly being on a computer. She gets upset with even the slightest criticism and gets mad if my parents don't cater to her every whim. She also was bullied throughout elementary and middle school and has astonishingly low self esteem. I turned out nothing like her! I had confidence and I think kids could tell. I would have been an easy target but nobody bullied me and I had a lot of friends. Kids these days need to toughen up. When somebody is mean to you you stand up with good posture, and walk away. Block them on Facebook. Be tougher. | |
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  That's White "Man" to You
Posts: 5515
 
| This ^^is why I like Herbie. | |
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| Political correctness, drugs used for ADHD etc , school rules constantly berating our kids and police intervention at the slightest excuse towards parenting or any kind of kid fights or arguments.
Dumbing down our education system to the level of the zombies in classrooms, attack on our flag and American culture and the constant bombardment on our kids to be tolerant of others that intend serious harm to our country and the invasion of their privacy constantly on a tattle tale basis when at school or on their own personal time.
In schools, there is no allowance for creativity and individuality, which is leading to a culture of bullying and even suicides.
Parents no longer have the rights to parent their kids without fear of jail or total financial and personal lives destroyed!!
Do you see anything that is familiar to the schools your children attend??
https://youtu.be/b-dbbX847g4
Think about the few things I have mentioned and ask yourself .. WHO IS BULLYING WHO AND WHY ARE PARENTS ALLOWING IT??
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 Thread Killer
Posts: 7543
   
| I think Herbie summed it up pretty well. The tone between ages 13-19 was a very dark time for me. I was awkward and had few friends. I really wasn't bullied (thank goodness), and my parents were as good as they could be at the time (we were dealing with devastating deaths in the family-everyone was struggling). Still, I don't feel like I had it that hard. Even then I knew I didn't have it that bad, so why was I such a mess? I think those feelings contributed a lot to it as well. "Your life isn't hard, other people have it so much worse, so stop being such a failure" ran through my mind a lot too. I thought about suicide and how I'd do it often. I had no self esteem, thoroughly hated myself, and just wanted to die. The only thing that kept me from going through with it was what it would have done to my family, but I did grapple with the "I'm not that important" feelings too. My two attempts at reaching out were met with dismissal, and I realized that I was truly alone in fighting that battle. When I finally graduated HS and moved on to college, life gradually got better but I kept my problems to myself. I feel so much better and only now do I see how perilously close I was to the edge. I love my parents and little sister to death, they were and still are great, but every time they mention my past issues, I want to gut punch each one of them. They always said that I was trapped in my shell, but my attempts to reach out were devastating. I agree very much with the claim that a lot of parents don't talk to their kids. Mine DID talk to me, except for that one, really important thing. And I don't know why. I've forgiven them, but I will probably never talk about it with them again. I'm still trying to recover from that time. | |
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 Shelter Dog Lover
Posts: 10277
      
| Herbie - 2015-03-26 1:22 PM I have a few theories, and maybe my final opinion is cumulative to all of these theories, but I feel like parents today are putting so much pressure on their kids to be successful and living vicariously through their children instead of letting kids be kids. It seems as though parents today measure their own success through the success of their child at their given hobby (baseball, football, rodeo, etc.). It's a constant competition between parents as to whose child is the most successful and it saddens me. Parents are pushing 8 YO's to play 70 baseball games a year, they are pushing babies to put on pads and hit each other like grown men and pushing these kids until they are literally puking, we are strapping our babies on high powered barrel horses that they aren't ready for. This is not a problem with our children, it is a problem with our parents! When we were kids, my mom took me to the horse show on whatever horse was available and turned me loose. She let me play softball, basketball, cheerleading, take dance, etc, but there was never any pressure on me to be the BEST at any of it. She let me figure out who I was as a person and what I enjoyed doing the most, and because of that I grew into a well rounded adult.
The pressure that is being put on these kids at such a young age isn't fair to them. We are teaching them to feel entitled and that if we aren't "winning" we are "failing", which is absolutely not the case. I had a great coach (who is now a top college football coach) tell me one time, "You have to learn how to lose before you learn how to win!", and there is alot of truth to that statement! No child should feel that kind of pressure until they are mature enough to put it on themselves, IMO. A child is mentally capable of handling that kind of stress, pressure, and when the expectations aren't met of what they think their parents are wanting, they do feel like failures and disappointments. We never teach our kids to loose, we praise them and tell them how perfect and great they are at everything instead of teaching them that there is always going to be someone better and someone worse at everything than you. We don't pick and laugh at our kids anymore and they are never taught humility, I think, so they can't take criticism of themselves or from others.
I do believe that social media is a huge problem.....and not only for children. I see the same going on with adults and have seen alot of lives ruined by social media sites like Facebook. It does give people a sense of anonymity and makes them feel more empowered to say nasty things to each other, be sneaky, or take a stand. I recently heard a staggering statistic that stated over 30% of todays youth will have to legally change their name before entering the job market due to what they have posted or been tagged in on social media. How scary is that! How sad is that to have to completely create a new person and life to be employable!!! I see it all of the time on the one social media site I do peruse from young people and I just wish I could shake them and say WAKE UP!!!!
I think we will continue to see this trend increasing unfortunately. There is definitely a problem, but I don't believe it's our children. Children are the same, it's the parenting and the things available to them before they are mature enough to handle the situation (pressure of success, inappropriate things on the internet that kids have access to through their phones, Facebook, and just the overall pressure of living up to the expectations the parents have set forth for them) that is plaquing our youth.
Very well said. My neice and nephew have a practice to go to every night of the week, that would wear me out much less a kid. Their parents are great win or lose but they are scheduled out the wazoo- have 3 or 4 games on the weekends, miss 1/2 of one to make it to the next. I saw a great post on FB this last summer: don't deny your kids the gift of boredom- it creates imagination, it creates inginuity, it creates self reliant kids. So much is done for them today and one wrong one everyone jumps on the band wagon of political correctness. I agree about social media, too much access to hide behind screens without hte maturity to handle it. | |
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 Expert
Posts: 3782
        Location: Gainesville, TX | Suicide is very common among adolescents. But we also hear about the high suicide rates among Native Americans and Chinese workers in their factors. While with adolescents, I think Herbie sums it up pretty well (I think the hormone levels play a part too; adolescents were committing suicide before social media and even before public education was so prevalent), I think the wider problem can also be related to some genetics (less seratonin production that produces clinical depression) but also to a feeling of hopelessness. This feeling can be related to physiological processes but is often triggered in other individuals for differing reasons. The Chinese workers never got any breaks and could not get ahead because of the way the system was set up; they felt trapped. I think the Native Americans may have some of these feelings too because of their situation and poverty. Their cultures were brought up with certain ideas about honor and the reservation system hardly sponsors their values. Throw in the genetic alcoholism and you can see the hopelessness build.
In Dante's Inferno, he visits the seventh circle of hell where the wood of the suicides are. In that place, you see the people who have committed the only unforgivable sin. And its not suicide. Its despair. When someone finds themselves in such despair, without hope, they also lose their faith in God to make things better. They have fallen into a dark pit. It's hell on earth so why not just end it. I'm not actually trying to make a religious judgment here. I'm just pointing out that even earlier cultures had the root issue of hopelessness/despair figured out. Unfortunately since so many different populations suffer from this, and each one has different triggers, we can only try to address them as best we can. Identifying the causes and working to overcome them is the best hope we have. Thank you for helping to be a part of bringing hope to our youth. | |
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 Veteran
Posts: 141
  Location: Centerville, TN | I'm not a young person but I have tried to kill myself three times. The pressures of life today is not very nice. I was molested as a child, I've had weight issues, I felt that my husband didn't love me any more, I've had a number of things going on. And you only want to be loved, showed that your loved and that you do matter. My husband and I talk with our pastor once a week, I've been in mental hospitals four times. There are days I feel that I can't move. I just pray and do the best I can. | |
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 Shelter Dog Lover
Posts: 10277
      
| Mimi barrel racer - 2015-03-26 7:00 PM I'm not a young person but I have tried to kill myself three times. The pressures of life today is not very nice. I was molested as a child, I've had weight issues, I felt that my husband didn't love me any more, I've had a number of things going on. And you only want to be loved, showed that your loved and that you do matter. My husband and I talk with our pastor once a week, I've been in mental hospitals four times. There are days I feel that I can't move. I just pray and do the best I can. This makes me sad reading this. I hope you find peace and comfort. You are valuable whether you feel like it or not.
Edited by rodeomom3 2015-03-26 7:27 PM
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Cold hands and Warm Heart
      Location: oklahoma | Mimi barrel racer - 2015-03-26 7:00 PM I'm not a young person but I have tried to kill myself three times. The pressures of life today is not very nice. I was molested as a child, I've had weight issues, I felt that my husband didn't love me any more, I've had a number of things going on. And you only want to be loved, showed that your loved and that you do matter. My husband and I talk with our pastor once a week, I've been in mental hospitals four times. There are days I feel that I can't move. I just pray and do the best I can.
I'm happy that you know Him. He is the only one that won't let us down. Your husband is very supportive and that's so important.  | |
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I AM being nice
Posts: 4396
        Location: MD | When I was like 16, I had a friend who used to call me all of the time crying, freaking out. She would tell me that she wanted to kill herself, was about to kill herself, how she was going to do it. She had a rather stable home life, loving parents, I never understood. I also never believed her. I would talk to her, give her the attention that I felt that she was seeking, make her laugh, hang up and go about my day. The one day, she called and I was super busy. I answered, she told me that she was about to take a bottle of pills and I said "Honey, let me call you back when I get done here.". Her mother called me an hour later. When she got home from work, she found her daughter face down in the middle of the living room floor, dead. I carried that guilt with me for a long time.
I went to a very Ag based High school. We actually had what was called the Academy of Agritechnology. It was essentially a school within a school. The classes all tied in with our huge Ag program. My Freshman year in the Academy would have been rough for just about anyone. I have always been a rather confident person. Like me, or hate me, I don't really care. That first year, about the only students who interacted with me were the girls and a few guys who I had gone to Middle school with. I never let it get to me though. My Sophomore year, I was on the Academy Recruiting team and travelled to other schools to discuss the program. Many students raised a fuss, as they didn't want me representing what the program was about. I did my job well, held my head high and there was never thought of my being removed from the team.
By my Junior year, I was President of the Academy. I managed all of the Academy property, met with visiting schools and guided tours with then Governor Jeb Bush and former Comissioners of Agriculture. There were obviously still some students who had major issues with a gay kid representing the program and things were definitely brought to my attention. At the end of my Jr year, I chose to run for President of our FFA chapter, having held offices the two previous years. My opponent was a very well like girl, who's father was the President of our County Fair. The smear campaign that she launched against me was brutal! Having been highly involved with the FFA through the State level in Horse and Livestock Judging and Extemp speaking, I had made quite a few friends with members throughout the state. I started receiving calls from members of other chapters within our District letting me know that she was calling around complaining about how bad it would look for us to have a faggot for President. When the night came, 75 active members voted. I won 73 to 2. The only votes that she received were her own and mine.
Two days before Senior Prom, a good friend of mine called me and asked if he could come over. It was very late, but he sounded like he needed a friend. When he got to the house, he looked horrible. This kid was the epitome of rugged, farm boy good looks. He was always happy go lucky with his friends, but never happy with his relationships. He sat in my living room for about 20 minutes before he broke down crying. When he was finally able to speak again he simply said "I don't know how you do it. I could never be that brave.". After a while of talking, he came out to me. He said that he had just finally made himself deal with the fact that he was gay and that just before calling me, he had been sitting there with a gun in his hand, about to kill himself. The next day, he went home and came out to his parents. I ended up going to pick him up, as his parents disowned him. He was not allowed to remove any belongings from their home. He and I walked into Prom together and he came out to all of our friends. We were never an item, but he lived with me for some time, until he got things together.
I feel as though bullying is an issue, yes. Kids can be brutal, but so can adults. As an out, gay teenager, I heard more slurs and condemnations from adults of all ages then I ever did from my peers. In my early 20's, I volunteered at a Youth program. The number of teens that came in with stories of their families disowning them for being gay, or a teenage pregnancy were baffling. It was hard enough for me to shrug off the things that were always said to me and I had a loving mother who celebrated who I was as an individual. My father and I just never went there and my Sister told me to my face that I was repulsive, but for the most part, I had amazing support. I cannot imagine how utterly alone many young people feel. Feelings are valid, be they justified, or not. If you feel as though you are all alone and nobody will ever understand you, that is a pit of misery that you can't help but to dwell in.
The answer is humanity. We need parents to have compassion for their children. We need spouses to have compassion for one another. Teachers need to not stand by and allow another student to call a child a fag, or trash. It happens. More often than not, the teacher might well have the same feelings. We need people to take an active interest in their fellow man. We must think about how we speak to one another, especially impressionable youth. I have been called just about every derogatory word that you can think of, but the one that cut the deepest... stupid. We must start early. If a child is made to feel useless, unloved, uncared for and like a burden, how are they ever supposed to develop self confidence?Sadly, sometimes even our best efforts aren't enough. I know several young men right now who are struggling with coming out to their parents. Parents who are loving, accepting, open minded people. These young men have even acknowledged that they know that there parents will accept them, but that they still don't want to disappoint them. All we can do is let them know that they are loved. | |
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  Warmblood with Wings
Posts: 27846
           Location: Florida.. | WrapSnap - 2015-03-26 10:37 PM When I was like 16, I had a friend who used to call me all of the time crying, freaking out. She would tell me that she wanted to kill herself, was about to kill herself, how she was going to do it. She had a rather stable home life, loving parents, I never understood. I also never believed her. I would talk to her, give her the attention that I felt that she was seeking, make her laugh, hang up and go about my day. The one day, she called and I was super busy. I answered, she told me that she was about to take a bottle of pills and I said "Honey, let me call you back when I get done here.". Her mother called me an hour later. When she got home from work, she found her daughter face down in the middle of the living room floor, dead. I carried that guilt with me for a long time. I went to a very Ag based High school. We actually had what was called the Academy of Agritechnology. It was essentially a school within a school. The classes all tied in with our huge Ag program. My Freshman year in the Academy would have been rough for just about anyone. I have always been a rather confident person. Like me, or hate me, I don't really care. That first year, about the only students who interacted with me were the girls and a few guys who I had gone to Middle school with. I never let it get to me though. My Sophomore year, I was on the Academy Recruiting team and travelled to other schools to discuss the program. Many students raised a fuss, as they didn't want me representing what the program was about. I did my job well, held my head high and there was never thought of my being removed from the team. By my Junior year, I was President of the Academy. I managed all of the Academy property, met with visiting schools and guided tours with then Governor Jeb Bush and former Comissioners of Agriculture. There were obviously still some students who had major issues with a gay kid representing the program and things were definitely brought to my attention. At the end of my Jr year, I chose to run for President of our FFA chapter, having held offices the two previous years. My opponent was a very well like girl, who's father was the President of our County Fair. The smear campaign that she launched against me was brutal! Having been highly involved with the FFA through the State level in Horse and Livestock Judging and Extemp speaking, I had made quite a few friends with members throughout the state. I started receiving calls from members of other chapters within our District letting me know that she was calling around complaining about how bad it would look for us to have a faggot for President. When the night came, 75 active members voted. I won 73 to 2. The only votes that she received were her own and mine. Two days before Senior Prom, a good friend of mine called me and asked if he could come over. It was very late, but he sounded like he needed a friend. When he got to the house, he looked horrible. This kid was the epitome of rugged, farm boy good looks. He was always happy go lucky with his friends, but never happy with his relationships. He sat in my living room for about 20 minutes before he broke down crying. When he was finally able to speak again he simply said "I don't know how you do it. I could never be that brave.". After a while of talking, he came out to me. He said that he had just finally made himself deal with the fact that he was gay and that just before calling me, he had been sitting there with a gun in his hand, about to kill himself. The next day, he went home and came out to his parents. I ended up going to pick him up, as his parents disowned him. He was not allowed to remove any belongings from their home. He and I walked into Prom together and he came out to all of our friends. We were never an item, but he lived with me for some time, until he got things together. I feel as though bullying is an issue, yes. Kids can be brutal, but so can adults. As an out, gay teenager, I heard more slurs and condemnations from adults of all ages then I ever did from my peers. In my early 20's, I volunteered at a Youth program. The number of teens that came in with stories of their families disowning them for being gay, or a teenage pregnancy were baffling. It was hard enough for me to shrug off the things that were always said to me and I had a loving mother who celebrated who I was as an individual. My father and I just never went there and my Sister told me to my face that I was repulsive, but for the most part, I had amazing support. I cannot imagine how utterly alone many young people feel. Feelings are valid, be they justified, or not. If you feel as though you are all alone and nobody will ever understand you, that is a pit of misery that you can't help but to dwell in. The answer is humanity. We need parents to have compassion for their children. We need spouses to have compassion for one another. Teachers need to not stand by and allow another student to call a child a fag, or trash. It happens. More often than not, the teacher might well have the same feelings. We need people to take an active interest in their fellow man. We must think about how we speak to one another, especially impressionable youth. I have been called just about every derogatory word that you can think of, but the one that cut the deepest... stupid. We must start early. If a child is made to feel useless, unloved, uncared for and like a burden, how are they ever supposed to develop self confidence?Sadly, sometimes even our best efforts aren't enough. I know several young men right now who are struggling with coming out to their parents. Parents who are loving, accepting, open minded people. These young men have even acknowledged that they know that there parents will accept them, but that they still don't want to disappoint them. All we can do is let them know that they are loved.
This goes for any child .. I agree... with the way times are parents are also struggling to stay afloat and to hold it together or working more and MANY are not present in their childs lives.. they may be there but they arent there listening and asking and being actively involved.. Coming home and saying hi how are you and walking off to the other room doesnt cut it.. be a part of their life, care about their day, get off the cells, turn the tv off , interact and LOVE them . show them . Hug them.. if they get withdrawn something it wrong. Also BULLYING is huge now in school and on social sites. Id guess alot of it is school and peer pressure and lack of esteem.. we need to build their self esteem up.. and confidence.. | |
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  Neat Freak
Posts: 11216
     Location: Wonderful Wyoming | On top of what everyone else has, kids have no compassion. For animals or other people. I see it all the time. Rude little turds to adults. I was born in '80 and all my friends and myself were taught by parents and teachers to respect your elders. That included anyone about 10yrs older and above (siblings excluded of course). The sassing and smart ass comments I hear kids say to their parents in WalMart etc is just gross. My 6yr old is an opinionated little man, and he catches hell for it. I will raise a respectful man if it is the last thing I do. | |
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  Neat Freak
Posts: 11216
     Location: Wonderful Wyoming | Sorry WrapSnap, I missed your post. But I see we agree | |
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 Expert
Posts: 1526
   Location: Texas | wyoming barrel racer - 2015-03-26 11:42 AM
In my humble opinion, we have raised weak minded people. I know not all, but the crap my 6yr old son whines about my dad would have had a meltdown had I done that. We don't cater to him, but I don't think most kids of that generation 2000's could have any survival skills as a whole. They just can't think for themselves. They can't take anything disrupting their rainbows and butterflies kind of life. I guess I have no idea how to explain what I am talking about, but compare the needy kids of today to our grandparents and great grandparents generations.
I agree 100%! Weak minded! Everything is fair and even. That's not life! Get over it work harder! Be better! Kids are to sheltered and don't have a purpose in life! To many video games and not enough talking and laughing with family! | |
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 Hugs to You
Posts: 7550
     Location: In The Land of Cotton | Add to all of the above - when people get divorced and use the children as pawns. I imagine and know for a fact - which parent do/should I love, where should I turn in times of trouble? Mom says this, dad says that.
Parents make and set the tone of the home. We can't be perfect parents, but most don't even try anymore. | |
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 Expert
Posts: 1273
     Location: South Dakota | mollibtexan - 2015-03-27 12:56 AM wyoming barrel racer - 2015-03-26 11:42 AM In my humble opinion, we have raised weak minded people. I know not all, but the crap my 6yr old son whines about my dad would have had a meltdown had I done that. We don't cater to him, but I don't think most kids of that generation 2000's could have any survival skills as a whole. They just can't think for themselves. They can't take anything disrupting their rainbows and butterflies kind of life. I guess I have no idea how to explain what I am talking about, but compare the needy kids of today to our grandparents and great grandparents generations. I agree 100%! Weak minded! Everything is fair and even. That's not life! Get over it work harder! Be better! Kids are to sheltered and don't have a purpose in life! To many video games and not enough talking and laughing with family!
Oh I completely agree with this. And it is scary because with social media and the world as it is, they are the generation that are going to have to deal with many, many things. | |
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  Whack and Roll
Posts: 6342
      Location: NE Texas | Mimi barrel racer - 2015-03-26 7:00 PM I'm not a young person but I have tried to kill myself three times. The pressures of life today is not very nice. I was molested as a child, I've had weight issues, I felt that my husband didn't love me any more, I've had a number of things going on. And you only want to be loved, showed that your loved and that you do matter. My husband and I talk with our pastor once a week, I've been in mental hospitals four times. There are days I feel that I can't move. I just pray and do the best I can.
I too hope you can find peace in your heart and soul. No matter how bad things get, there is always someone who is there for you! We are a family here on BHW and I can assure you that when the going gets tough, this place gets going! Lean on us in any way you need to and know that you are never alone! Hugs to you on this Friday and my thoughts and prayers are with you!!!!!  | |
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