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For the cumputer illiterate..
komet.
Reg. Jun 2012
Posted 2015-04-03 4:31 AM
Subject: For the cumputer illiterate..



Expert


Posts: 4121
20002000100
Location: SE Louisiana


Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NHL 4.3, MLB 3.0, and NBA 3.6.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, to no avail. What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate

Dear Desperate:

First, keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Try to enter the command: "C:/ITHOUGHTYOULOVEDME" to download Tears 6.2, which should automatically install Guilt 3.0. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

Remember, though, that over-use of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create Snoring Loudly 10.8. Whatever you do: DO NOT install Mother-in-Law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.

You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck,
Tech Support
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BS Hauler
Reg. Jan 2012
Posted 2015-04-03 8:28 AM
Subject: RE: For the cumputer illiterate..


Expert


Posts: 1314
1000100100100
Location: North Central Iowa Land of white frozen grass
" Priceless "
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lhighquality
Reg. Apr 2013
Posted 2015-04-03 8:48 AM
Subject: RE: For the cumputer illiterate..


Elite Veteran


Posts: 915
500100100100100
Location: SE KS

Love it!!!!
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cranky B4 10am
Reg. Dec 2009
Posted 2015-04-03 8:51 AM
Subject: RE: For the cumputer illiterate..


Military family

Witty Enough


Posts: 2954
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Location: CTX
Awesome!!
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4Horse
Reg. Dec 2014
Posted 2015-04-03 10:14 AM
Subject: RE: For the cumputer illiterate..


Military family
Veteran


Posts: 146
10025
Love it!
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Vickie
Reg. Jun 2005
Posted 2015-04-03 10:32 AM
Subject: RE: For the cumputer illiterate..



To the Left


Posts: 1865
10005001001001002525
Location: Florida
 That is great.
 
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oija
Reg. Feb 2012
Posted 2015-04-03 12:39 PM
Subject: RE: For the cumputer illiterate..



Expert


Posts: 3782
20001000500100100252525
Location: Gainesville, TX
There are two parts to that story.

Dear Tech Support:
> >
> > Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and
> > noticed that the new program began unexpected child
> > processing that took up a lot of space and valuable
> > resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in
> > the product brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself
> > into all other programs and launches during system
> > initialization, where it monitors all other system activity.
> >
> > Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Drunken Boys Night
> > 2.5 and Saturday Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the
> > system whenever selected.
> >
> > I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while
> > attempting to run some of my other favorite applications. I
> > am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the
> > uninstall does not work on this program. Can you help me,
> > please!!!
> >
> > Thanks,
> >
> > Joe
> >
> > Tech Support response:
> >
> > Dear Joe:
> >
> > This is a very common problem men complain about but is
> > mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade
> > from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0
> > is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program.
> >
> > Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator
> > to run everything. It is unlikely you would be able to purge
> > Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0.
> >
> > Hidden operating files within your system would cause
> > Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained.
> >
> > It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program
> > files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to
> > Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this.
> > Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but
> > end up with more problems than the original system. Look in
> > your manual under "Warnings Alimony/Child Support,"
> >
> > I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the
> > situation. I am thinking of having Wife 1.0 installed
> > myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section
> > regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). You must assume
> > all responsibility for fault and problems that might occur,
> > regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be
> > to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE.
> >
> > In any case avoid excessive use of the Esc key because
> > ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command
> > before the operating system will return to normal. The
> > system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for
> > all the GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high
> > maintenance.
> >
> > Consider buying additional software to improve the
> > performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and
> > Chocolates 5.0. Do not, under any circumstances, install
> > Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported
> > application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible
> > damage to the operating system.
> >
> > Best of luck,
> >
> > Tech Support
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komet.
Reg. Jun 2012
Posted 2015-04-03 12:47 PM
Subject: RE: For the cumputer illiterate..



Expert


Posts: 4121
20002000100
Location: SE Louisiana
oija.....
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rach.k
Reg. Nov 2012
Posted 2015-04-03 12:56 PM
Subject: RE: For the cumputer illiterate..


Extreme Veteran


Posts: 307
100100100
Location: Florida
These are great :)
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total performance
Reg. Nov 2007
Posted 2015-04-03 3:52 PM
Subject: RE: For the cumputer illiterate..



Namesless in BHW


Posts: 10368
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Location: At the race track with Ah Dee Ohs
 
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cow pie
Reg. Nov 2009
Posted 2015-04-03 9:42 PM
Subject: RE: For the cumputer illiterate..


Military family

Sock eating dog owner


Posts: 4557
200020005002525
Location: Where the pavement ends and the West begins Utah
Peaches and cream
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Frodo
Reg. Jul 2004
Posted 2015-04-04 8:06 AM
Subject: RE: For the cumputer illiterate..


"Heck's Coming With Me"


Posts: 10797
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Location: Kansas
 Definitely left out reference to the Couch Potato virus.

 
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cavyrunsbarrels
Reg. Dec 2010
Posted 2015-04-04 12:09 PM
Subject: RE: For the cumputer illiterate..


Red Bull Agressive


Posts: 5981
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Location: North Dakota
 This is the type of relationship advice that speaks to me.
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