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 Shelter Dog Lover
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| It is a complicated story but I will try to stick to the cliff notes. My neice and her husband have been fostering a now 3 year old girl for over a year, they want to adopt her. There is a 5 year old 1/2 sister who after the second removal from the parents by CPS went to live with her bio dad 10 hours away (the 3 year old has a different dad who is in jail for physically and sexually abusing both girls- both mom and dad are meth heads), because the 5 year olds dad took her, she is not a CPS case. He was fighting for full custody when he passed away, the 5 year old came back to live with family of his in the same town where the mother lives. Only the 3 years dad dad was charged with abuse but because both girls routinely say moma hurt me, they refused to let the mother see her and have been granted temporary custody and have a restraining order to keep the mother away from her. The judge ruled in favor of the family because the bio mom is pregnant with 3rd child by 3rd dad, mom is unemployed, has let known drug users and criminals live with her (has not changed how she lives- documented in CPS reports which in our case when asked this question CPS lied to the judge and were reprimanded when shown what was in thier own reports) mom failed to show for 2 drug screens in our case (CPS just rescheduled for the next month and gave her a 30 day screen instead of the required 90 day hair test). This same judge who ruled the mother has not demonstated that she has changed and is taking the 5 year old away from her, is going forward with reunification of the 3 year old. These girls have been removed from the home 3 times, the first time was voluntary and it CPS eyes, does not count as a removal, 3 removals and you automatically lose custody. Since the 5 year old is not a CPS case the measure is what is best for the child, the 3 year old is not granted that same consideration. The mother has tested clean for the drug screens she showed up for and has completed her services so the 3 year old is going back even though she is losing custordy of the 5 year old.
Edited by rodeomom3 2015-04-16 12:18 PM
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 915
Location: SE KS | i HATE the way the system "works"!
Sorry you all are dealing with this!
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 Expert
Posts: 1898
| I am so sorry. Working in the school system and hand in hand with CPS I am still baffled by the way the system works. If it ever comes about that the little girl needs foster care again will your niece and her husband be considered for her placement?
I hope whatever happens, the little girl finds a safe place to land. I thank your niece and her family for opening their hearts and home to this little girl. What a wonderful thing have done for her. So many kids in foster care are simply another paycheck to the foster "families" they are placed with. |
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 Hawty & Nawty
Posts: 20424
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Shelter Dog Lover
Posts: 10277
| cyount2009 - 2015-04-16 2:05 PM I am so sorry. Working in the school system and hand in hand with CPS I am still baffled by the way the system works. If it ever comes about that the little girl needs foster care again will your niece and her husband be considered for her placement? I hope whatever happens, the little girl finds a safe place to land. I thank your niece and her family for opening their hearts and home to this little girl. What a wonderful thing have done for her. So many kids in foster care are simply another paycheck to the foster "families" they are placed with. Yes, if there is another removal, my niece will be the first option for placement and it should move forward to adoption since it would be the 3rd official removal. It is baffling how CPS operates in some of these cases. The mom has had 2 hour supervised visits at the CPS office. CPS observes as well as the CASA volunteer, their reports read as if they were not observing the same vist. The CPS report is glowing and full of praise on how well mother and daughter play together, the CASA report is states the child is not interacting or engaging with the mother, they just play side by side, the child has meltdowns, niether the mother or CPS can console her, they have to take her to one of her foster parents in the waiting room for her to calm down. These meltdowns are left out of the CPS reports. Our CASA volunteer saids she has never seen it as bad as what we are experiencing. The judge ordered the next step which is 4 hour supervised visits that do no have to be at the CPS office, they can take the child anyhwere. The supervisor does not have to be a CPS worker, not that it would matter, but can be a family member or a friend. The woman who will be supervising the visits is the same woman who had the mom come to her house, used her computer to help her apply for welfare benefits- filled everything out as a single mom with 2 kids so she would get more $$- welfare fraud- neither child has lived with her for over 18 months but she has been collecting benefits for them this whole time, same for her housing benefits. This woman admitted to this on the stand, just shrugged her shoulders like no big deal. The mom pays $100 in rent, does not have a vehicle, yet over a 2 year period is $1000 behind in rent even with the added $$ she has been getting. Her landlord lets her keep the rental house because he gets a government check each month for her housing- he kept this going while she was in jail- so much corruption.
Edited by rodeomom3 2015-04-16 2:50 PM
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Veteran
Posts: 120
| Our system is broken and flawed and fails many, many children. Dare I say it is a "liberal" logic that these people deserve chance after to chance to get "clean" and develop some parenting skills. The system claims to want only whats best for the child yet continues to place them back with the same losers that continue to screw up. Why should it take three times before you lose custody? Some kids are either seriously harmed physically and emotionally or end up dead before someone actually does something. I might be harsh but if you get another chance at parenthood and you blow it....you should be done. Furthermore some situations don't even deserve a second chance. Unfortunately, just like with many other situations, when you are up against the all mighty government your hands are tied and all you can do is the best you can do. I pray for these children and pray they may end up in a stable and loving home. We wonder whats wrong with America.......this is a good start. |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 929
| banjomia - 2015-04-16 1:02 PM
Our system is broken and flawed and fails many, many children. Dare I say it is a "liberal" logic that these people deserve chance after to chance to get "clean" and develop some parenting skills. The system claims to want only whats best for the child yet continues to place them back with the same losers that continue to screw up. Why should it take three times before you lose custody? Some kids are either seriously harmed physically and emotionally or end up dead before someone actually does something. I might be harsh but if you get another chance at parenthood and you blow it....you should be done. Furthermore some situations don't even deserve a second chance. Unfortunately, just like with many other situations, when you are up against the all mighty government your hands are tied and all you can do is the best you can do. I pray for these children and pray they may end up in a stable and loving home. We wonder whats wrong with America.......this is a good start.
That is so sad. My aunt and uncle took in 2 foster kids and decided they wanted to adopt them but the state of Massachusetts wouldn't let them adopt because they are white and the kids are black. The state said that they wanted a black family to have the first option...these are older children and no one else wanted to adopt them. Really? Our system is seriously broken. I feel for any children that have to deal with this. |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 1074
| I agree our system is horrible! I know many stories as well that don't make sense and are not in the best interest of the children. Very sad! Many prayers for your situation. |
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 I Prefer to Live in Fantasy Land
Posts: 64864
Location: In the Hills of Texas | It's a broken system and the children suffer that the government always uses as pawns when they want other things done. If I hear one more politician say, "It's for the children," instead of telling the truth that it has nothing to do with children, I'm going to throw up.
So sorry. Sending prayers that they get custody before she is too damaged by being handed around like a doll instead of being treated like a fragile human being.
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Shelter Dog Lover
Posts: 10277
| Nevertooold - 2015-04-16 3:39 PM
It's a broken system and the children suffer that the government always uses as pawns when they want other things done. If I hear one more politician say, "It's for the children," instead of telling the truth that it has nothing to do with children, I'm going to throw up.
So sorry. Sending prayers that they get custody before she is too damaged by being handed around like a doll instead of being treated like a fragile human being.
With all the removals she has been away from her mother more than she has lived with her. The CASA volunteer is not recommending reunification. On 2 visits in my nieces home, she was playing dolls with the child, out of no where she will begin hitting one doll with another and sceam "B" hurt me- she refers to her mother by name. These episode always follow a scheduled visit with the mother, the visits are monitored so this is not going on now but the visits seem to bring out terrible emotions and memories for her, even at that young age. It takes about 36 hours after a visit and she is back to her sweet, easy going self. |
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I Prefer to Live in Fantasy Land
Posts: 64864
Location: In the Hills of Texas | rodeomom3 - 2015-04-16 3:45 PM Nevertooold - 2015-04-16 3:39 PM It's a broken system and the children suffer that the government always uses as pawns when they want other things done. If I hear one more politician say, "It's for the children," instead of telling the truth that it has nothing to do with children, I'm going to throw up.
So sorry. Sending prayers that they get custody before she is too damaged by being handed around like a doll instead of being treated like a fragile human being.
With all the removals she has been away from her mother more than she has lived with her. The CASA volunteer is not recommending reunification. On 2 visits in my nieces home, she was playing dolls with the child, out of no where she will begin hitting one doll with another and sceam "B" hurt me- she refers to her mother by name. These episode always follow a scheduled visit with the mother, the visits are monitored so this is not going on now but the visits seem to bring out terrible emotions and memories for her, even at that young age. It takes about 36 hours after a visit and she is back to her sweet, easy going self.
Now that really makes me want to throw up. So sad. |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 448
Location: lone star state | What does the 3 year olds counselor reccommend? The 3 year old needs to under go a forensic interview to determine if there is physical abuse and by whom/ she has made an outcry of abuse.....by stating mom hurt me. Poor child :( CPS has lied causing huge crediabilty problems giving the parent even more leverage in this case. |
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 Not Afraid to Work
Posts: 4717
| My sister is dealing with something very similar. She was called to foster a newborn, 2 days old. They just had to wait until the Meth left his system before she could pick him up. This is Mom's 3rd child and she doesnt have custody of any of them. She had a warrant out for her arrest and was on the run for 5 months. She hasnt complied with any of the court recommendations. The little guy is now 7 months old. He is currently in the hospital on oxygen due to a resiratory infection. His little body isnt strong enough and they're guessing he is having some adverse effects from the chemicals he was exposed to in the womb.
Bio-mom has decided in the last month, that shes gonna try. They have already started filing for permanency but now theres a chance she will get him back. My sister has been at Children's Hospital with him for a week now and they dont know when he can go home. His Mom didnt even care enough to see him at the hospital after he was born... and somehow she has a right to him??
So sorry for your neice and her husband. Everyone's situation is different but I feel, I understand a bit on your frustration. |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 1028
| My SO is a CASA volunteer, and he can't discuss the specifics of cases with me, but I know he gets really frustrated sometimes when he does NOT recommend reunification but someone with CPS does (he thinks that that is their default answer, that reunification is ALWAYS better for the child). The last case he worked on was with an 8 year old boy who has been in state custody for about a year while they try to locate his father and/or mother (both are on the run to avoid arrest I think). My SO visited him around Christmas time last year, and the boy told him he'd give up all of his Christmas and birthday presents forever if he could just have a home.
It just breaks my heart for these little ones. Prayers sent your way rodeomom. |
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Shelter Dog Lover
Posts: 10277
| stayceem - 2015-04-17 9:05 AM My sister is dealing with something very similar. She was called to foster a newborn, 2 days old. They just had to wait until the Meth left his system before she could pick him up. This is Mom's 3rd child and she doesnt have custody of any of them. She had a warrant out for her arrest and was on the run for 5 months. She hasnt complied with any of the court recommendations. The little guy is now 7 months old. He is currently in the hospital on oxygen due to a resiratory infection. His little body isnt strong enough and they're guessing he is having some adverse effects from the chemicals he was exposed to in the womb. Bio-mom has decided in the last month, that shes gonna try. They have already started filing for permanency but now theres a chance she will get him back. My sister has been at Children's Hospital with him for a week now and they dont know when he can go home. His Mom didnt even care enough to see him at the hospital after he was born... and somehow she has a right to him?? So sorry for your neice and her husband. Everyone's situation is different but I feel, I understand a bit on your frustration.
It just does not make sense at all, she should not have any rights to him, especially when he has found a loving home and not a "foster" home. Prayers for your sister and her little baby. |
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 A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | Prayers |
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Not Afraid to Work
Posts: 4717
| rodeomom3 - 2015-04-17 10:31 AM
stayceem - 2015-04-17 9:05 AM My sister is dealing with something very similar. She was called to foster a newborn, 2 days old. They just had to wait until the Meth left his system before she could pick him up. This is Mom's 3rd child and she doesnt have custody of any of them. She had a warrant out for her arrest and was on the run for 5 months. She hasnt complied with any of the court recommendations. The little guy is now 7 months old. He is currently in the hospital on oxygen due to a resiratory infection. His little body isnt strong enough and they're guessing he is having some adverse effects from the chemicals he was exposed to in the womb. Bio-mom has decided in the last month, that shes gonna try. They have already started filing for permanency but now theres a chance she will get him back. My sister has been at Children's Hospital with him for a week now and they dont know when he can go home. His Mom didnt even care enough to see him at the hospital after he was born... and somehow she has a right to him?? So sorry for your neice and her husband. Everyone's situation is different but I feel, I understand a bit on your frustration.
It just does not make sense at all, she should not have any rights to him, especially when he has found a loving home and not a "foster" home. Prayers for your sister and her little baby.
Prayers to you also. Its hard to see the system work because everyone has so many "rights." I suppose thats why people love America but at some point, they should be stripped. |
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I just can't wrap my head around this