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 Underestimated Underdog
Posts: 3971
    
Location: Minnesota | Last summer I sold my mare to a very good friend of mine. My friend is pretty new to horses but I figured since this horse was so well behaved and easy going that they would do good together. Fast forward to now and this horse is so different I don't even recognize her. She has a horrible attitude, bites, won't stand for my friend to get on her and when she finally does get on she won't listen at all. I'm trying to be the supportive friend but it honestly makes me pretty upset that this horse went from such a well mannered horse to a complete brat. I've suggested lessons, ground work videos, books. I've offered to ride her horse for awhile and get her back going in the right direction but my friend says no every time. I don't want to be mean and tell her she can't ride and is ruining this horse but I don't like seeing this horse act like this. Any thoughts? |
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  Sock eating dog owner
Posts: 4557
Location: Where the pavement ends and the West begins Utah | Go ahead and rude. Tell her she is not doing the horse any favor and is need of serious profession help in the lesson department. |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 1074
| Your friend needs to realize there is a problem before it can be fixed. In my opinion, it won't help to be rude. Until she sees that there is a problem with the horse, you are wasting your time. |
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 Expert
Posts: 1857
| Tell her you can't sit back and watch anymore, that you fear for her safety if she doesn't do something and then tell her everything that is wrong. That way your advice and knowledge will be coming from a good place and not attacking. |
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Underestimated Underdog
Posts: 3971
Location: Minnesota | She can see that the horse is acting up and she knows she doesn't know what she is doing but she won't let me help her. She won't take any suggestions that I offer. This horse is literally so soft in the mouth and she yanking on her and it just makes me cring. |
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 Good Grief!
Posts: 6343
Location: Cap'n Joan Rotgut.....alberta | Why do ppl always feel like they have to sugar coat everything....tell this nit that she is ruining a once good horse....and that if things keep going like they are the poor horse will up on a meat truck......i sure hope not but you get the meaningM |
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 A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | Offer to buy the horse back, tell her you hate seeing a once well behaved horse being ruined.  |
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Expert
Posts: 1857
| Yep, sounds like hurtful is where she is going to make you go.. Or video her while she is riding and make her watch it. Maybe once she sees herself she'll understand |
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 Expert
Posts: 3815
Location: The best kept secret in TX | I have an aquaintance that has been through 5 very well mannered horses. She has ruined every single one of them and her mom keeps buying ehr more... They sit in her pasture as skinny as can be now and she says they all were sold as barrel horses but the sellers lied.... Really? All five lied?
She see's no problem and blames the horse for her inability to ride a TRAINED barrel horse... We've tried to talk to her, called her out, been nice, been rude. Nothing helps. Until she realizes SHE is the problem, nothing will help... All of our words are just beating a dead horse to her and she no longer talks to any of us.  |
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Expert
Posts: 3815
Location: The best kept secret in TX | FlyingJT - 2015-04-27 2:54 PM Yep, sounds like hurtful is where she is going to make you go.. Or video her while she is riding and make her watch it. Maybe once she sees herself she'll understand
Very good Idea!  |
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 pressure dripper
Posts: 8699
Location: the end of the rainbow | One of the many reasons not to do horse deals with friends. In the long run someone always gets their feelings hurt. |
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Expert
Posts: 1857
| willrodeo4food - 2015-04-27 2:58 PM
One of the many reasons not to do horse deals with friends. In the long run someone always gets their feelings hurt.
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Expert
Posts: 1343
Location: East Texas | Sounds a lot like an alcoholic. Until THEY decide they have a problem and seek help, there is not much you can do, and probably the more you push, the more she will resist. As hard as it may be, you may just have to stand back. I pray it doesn't come to her or the horse being hurt before she hits the bottom!!! |
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Underestimated Underdog
Posts: 3971
Location: Minnesota | IRunOnFaith - 2015-04-27 2:56 PM
FlyingJT - 2015-04-27 2:54 PM Yep, sounds like hurtful is where she is going to make you go.. Or video her while she is riding and make her watch it. Maybe once she sees herself she'll understand
Very good Idea!
That is a really good idea! I'm going to do that tonight. |
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 Expert
Posts: 5293
| IRunOnFaith - 2015-04-27 12:55 PM
I have an aquaintance that has been through 5 very well mannered horses. She has ruined every single one of them and her mom keeps buying ehr more... They sit in her pasture as skinny as can be now and she says they all were sold as barrel horses but the sellers lied.... Really? All five lied?
She see's no problem and blames the horse for her inability to ride a TRAINED barrel horse... We've tried to talk to her, called her out, been nice, been rude. Nothing helps. Until she realizes SHE is the problem, nothing will help... All of our words are just beating a dead horse to her and she no longer talks to any of us.
I would love to find some of these skinny ruined horses and take them off their hands |
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Helpful without being hurtful.