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| I have never had a problem hauling with other people, however recently the little things like stopping and eating at places I don’t like, leaving at a certain time that maybe inconvenient for me, having to ride in the back seat all the way, or having my horse tied at the worst spot at the trailer are just getting old.
I’m finding that I just prefer to take my own truck and trailer and go. No muss, no fuss, and me and my horse are always the number one priority, and we do what we want, when we want.
The problem is, the ladies I used to jump in and go with are asking me if I want to go here or there and they seem offended when I say I’ll just meet you there. I’ve tried to come up with nice little excuses not to go with them, but then they keep pushing me and making me feel guilty for not going with them.
I know part of them wanting me to go is that it cuts the cost in half, but I’ve come to the conclusion that if I cannot afford to go by myself than it’s not worth me going. Does anyone else feel this way or am I just being petty?
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 A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
 
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | Just load and go at your own pace, no fuss when to leave are where to tie out, just tell your friends that you like being able to leave when you feel like it. They can find another hauling buddy. |
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 ND Sweetheart
Posts: 3471
Location: In My Own Dream Land | I went through the same thing, only I was the one doing the driving. I hauled with bull doggers, and occasionally a barrel racer.. We split fuel by number of horses in the trailer, and if a roughie came with, they paid gate fees. Well people that hauled with me got upset when I had one horse, and they had 3, so they paid the majority of fuel.. Which they knew since they hauled with me previously, and never had an issue when it was an even split...
I've since decided unless I really really know the people I'm going with, I'll go alone.. So I agree, if I can't afford to go alone, I guess I don't need to go?  |
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 Expert
Posts: 3815
Location: The best kept secret in TX | I agree. Be honest with them. Just tell them you like going to the events and being with them there, but you would rather haul at your own pace so you're not stressed and such.  |
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Veteran
Posts: 234
| Boy howdy do I hear you!! I am the same way, I want to ENJOY my little road trip. Eat, stop when I want and park where I want. Took me lots of years to wean my friends that I liked the time to and from a race or rodeo to just let down and relax. Just tell them what you said in your post if they really are your friends they will get over it. As a matter of fact everyone makes fun of me now because I seldom even haul with my daughter very much so now they understand its just me nothing personal against them |
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 Born not Made
Posts: 2937
Location: North Dakota | See I'm in the opposite boat. I've NEVER hauled with another person. It's just me, my rig, and my two horses. And many times I think, gee, I should see if so-and-so wants to haul with and it would be fun to chat on the way there, split gas, yada yada. I think that I should be makig a better effort to have people ride with me.
Plus when I go places, people a lot of times seem amazed that I drove all by myself (like it's a bad thing?)
But then I think about how easy it is for me to leave when I want to. Take my time fussing with my horses. Stay late or leave early. Stop for gas where I want to. I don't have to worry about their horse breaking something on my trailer; or vice versa. Etc. And then I realize I very much like hauling by myself. 
If you want to haul by yourself, then haul by yourself!
Edited by r_beau 2015-05-08 2:00 PM
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 628
Location: Missouri | I've hauled with tons of different people. Sometimes it works out other times it doesn't. Be honest and do what you want to do with your horses. If they don't like it, tough cookies to them. Not your problem. |
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| Thank you all for sharing your thoughts on this! I'm glad to know I'm not totally alone in how I feel. |
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Expert
Posts: 1432
| I've hauled with a lot of different people and they were all fine.. But I prefer to haul by myself..
Edited by 3TurnsonSpud 2015-05-08 8:52 PM
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 Owner of a ratting catting machine
Posts: 2258
| Really, I haul by myself mostly, because I don't want to scare any of my friends off with my neuroses. I'm not sure that, "Yes, I hauled here with Megan! I just love her!" would happen.
More like, "Yes, I hauled here with Megan! And, honestly, her need to be up three times during the night to water horses, her inability to keep track of her **** truck keys, athsma inhaler, debit card, and sunglasses, and the ensuing panic, then the idiot got my last rubber bands, my good water bucket, needed to borrow a button up shirt, AND her dog is living in my weekend bag (literally) has me COMPLETELY over her. She tries to buy me off with food, but I'm not falling for one more Twinkie, I'm just not. I need to find a new ride home."
SO, in the interest of guarding my very important friendships, yep, I'm solo. |
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Veteran
Posts: 233
| I'm another who has never hauled with anyone else before (other than family) I am however hopping in with another gal for a jackpot tomorrow. I love hauling by myself. I do things how and when I want to. I'm someone who has to be very EARLY to everything. I also am paranoid about my mare getting kicked at in or at the trailer if there aren't dividers with strange horses. I love being able to visit with everyone once I'm there but I like having my own routine of things, I guess. Splitting fuel costs is always nice tho too! |
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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 331
Location: Loma Linda, CA | Man, all these horror stories!
I've never had any issues riding with anyone!
I guess I'm lucky we are just all chill and good friends lol! |
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The Resident Destroyer of Liberal Logic
Location: PNW | classicpotatochip - 2015-05-08 7:02 PM
Really, I haul by myself mostly, because I don't want to scare any of my friends off with my neuroses. I'm not sure that, "Yes, I hauled here with Megan! I just love her!" would happen.
More like, "Yes, I hauled here with Megan! And, honestly, her need to be up three times during the night to water horses, her inability to keep track of her **** truck keys, athsma inhaler, debit card, and sunglasses, and the ensuing panic, then the idiot got my last rubber bands, my good water bucket, needed to borrow a button up shirt, AND her dog is living in my weekend bag (literally) has me COMPLETELY over her. She tries to buy me off with food, but I'm not falling for one more Twinkie, I'm just not. I need to find a new ride home."
SO, in the interest of guarding my very important friendships, yep, I'm solo.
This is me also. To a T. |
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Location: Texas | Quite a few years ago, five good friends and myself, use to flip-flop and haul with each other. We had a blast! I'm real laid back and easy going so the little things don't get to me much. But I do understand what your saying. If and when there was any issue we addressed it immediately and squashed it then - no hard feelings.
Now I only haul with my husband, my kids and best friend... no worries or stress. Just be honest and maybe it can work out... |
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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 518
| It should be fun for you! If hauling with other people causes you un-needed stress and you can afford to go by yourself then go for it! However if you're honest with your friends and tell them what you told us then they might make more of an effort to make things more comfortable for you too :) |
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 Am I really the Weirdo?
Posts: 11181
Location: Kansas | I have hauled with a couple girl friends, my youngest brother, our bull rider brother, a couple other roughies, and my current boyfriend who both runs barrels and rides bareback horses. Never had a big issue with anyone and I would haul with any of them again. It's pretty rare that Matt and I haul to a barrel race together but honestly I enjoy not having to drive when I can throw a horse & tack in his rig. We have been together long enough that we understand each other's neurotic habits and we've developed ways to live with them.
My bull rider brother does NOT understand the need to get to a rodeo two hours early, park in the shade near the water source (even if its at the far end of the pen from the chutes) and my desire to stop at least once during a 5 hour trip to get horses out and walk them. Plus he gets frustrated when I have to fill the truck up every 3 hours. We don't haul together very much LOL.
My youngest brother was the best hauling buddy ever when he ran barrels, and even now, he gets me. I am excited because I've helped him enough with college comp class this semester that he owes me some travel buddy help. :) He is great about hopping on a horse to warm it up, watering when I'm busy, taking polos and saddles off, etc. Some barrel racer needs to snatch him up because I have trained him well!
That said, there are times when it's nice to go on my terms, at my pace, etc., so I would tell your friends that you've got to detour somewhere on the way there or the way home - horse shoer, vet, feed store, Grandma's house etc. - or I would piggyback two races together into the same trip. |
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  Witty Enough
Posts: 2954
Location: CTX | I hear ya! Although it is nice to split the cost of diesel, I really like to do my own thing. Want to be able to leave when I want and stay as long as I want.
I also like to know where all my stuff is, and not have anyone mess up my system. I am a bit OCD about my stuff, and when it is me (and my non riding husband, but he knows my system...) I know it wont be messed with!
So, I would just tell them honestly what you wrote here, and if they are friends they will understand! |
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 I"m Jealous!
Posts: 1737
Location: Benton City, WA | Oh I hear ya. Being a financially limited individual (vet school don't come cheap) I've had to haul with a lot of different people over the years. Many of them were awesome and some were not. One gal in particular drove me absolutely nuts. I'm kind of a quiet person, and once on a 3 hour drive, I counted the minutes that she wasn't talking.....2 minutes, the entire time, about absolutely nothing. Then she would sleep the entire way home from the rodeo, while I drove and NEVER offer to drive.
I'm not much of an early bird, so I often haul alone when its close to home, just so that I can leave later. But I like to haul with my buddies whenever possible. Its just more fun, especially if the destination is a long ways away. My pet peeve is hauling with someone, and finding out their horse has never learned to back out of a trailer, or has to have a ramp, or has trouble loading if the stars aren't all aligned or this or that, OMG get the dang thing broke. I also once hauled with a bulldogger who kept losing all my little clippies that keep the latches on the door secured. Who does that?! |
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 Take a Picture
Posts: 12841
| Personally, I like having my tack in my trailer. Invariabl, I forget to load something of important like my bridle or one SMB or spurs. It is just easier to have my stuff in my own trailer. |
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 I Chore in Chucks
Posts: 2882
Location: MD | I'm this exact way. I like to do my own thing. that doesn't mean I don't like you or whatever... I just want to load my own trailer. in my own tack room. let my horse splash in his water and be on my own schedule.
Just make a joke about yourself, hopefully they will get over it. If you keep getting overrun on decisions and getting the short end of the stick it's not a bad idea to put yourself first for awhile at least. |
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 Sorry I don't have any advice
Posts: 1975
Location: Sunnyland Florida |
I totally agree with you - don't feel guilty for wanting to enjoy your time at a barrel race! I quit hauling with friends several years ago. Occasionally, I do haul with someone but I'm very picky! To me, it's worth the peace of mind to pay the extra diesel. I figure I have a better shot at winning money and making a good run without all of the stress of hauling with others.
Enjoy!
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Veteran
Posts: 113
| I don't like people so I haul alone |
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 I Prefer to Live in Fantasy Land
Posts: 64864
Location: In the Hills of Texas | I've hauled by myself for years. Too much hassle to haul with someone. I like meeting friends at the barrel race. |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 629
| I'm so glad to know that I'm not the only one, too! I hauled locally by myself for a while, but usually hauled with a friend to farther away places. It was nice to split fuel, have someone to talk to on the late, dark drive home. But now that I've got a truck and trailer I feel comfortable hauling longer distances with, I'm heading out on my own. Like the others said, I have always forgotten a breast collar, a boot, a hoof pick, a jacket when the sun goes down, and feel bad having to borrow. But, my favorite thing about hauling alone, is I can tie my horse wherever I want! I'm real laid back too, and want to enjoy my weekends with my horse. I do not want to stress about all that crap every weekend when hauling my own crap in my own rig would solve it. It's not worth 1/2 the fuel. |
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 Undercover Amish Mafia Member
Posts: 9992
Location: Kansas | I have found....that there can be quite a bit of butthurt on the haul home....especially if one or the other wins, and the other doesn't place.....not a fun ride home lol. I haul alone, I like it that way. |
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 Good Grief!
Posts: 6343
Location: Cap'n Joan Rotgut.....alberta | i haul by myself...for a couple reasons..i take my dogs and half my barn..lol..and i dont live close to anybody...........
m |
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 Dog Resuce Agent
Posts: 3459
Location: southeast Texas | My dog doesn't like many people. Safer to haul alone.
Thats my excuse and I'm sticking with it. |
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Rad Dork
Posts: 5218
Location: Oklahoma | I always haul my horse by myself, but I have a friend that has LQ (I currently do not) and when we go (in different rigs) to bigger races I bunk with her. The sleeping on a popup bed sucks big time, but when you have two people doing the unloading process at big shows it helps a ton! She settles the horses in the stalls and I tote the tack and feed. Then in the mornings (I'm an earlier riser) I go off and do the feed/hay/watering and she stays back and makes coffee and gets whatever we're having for breakfast ready. It's a perfect set up for now... but I probably won't my mind alone time when I have my own LQ!
It would have to be someone that I'm really, really good friends with and can make easy conversation with to haul with. I'm a talker and silence for long periods of time starts to make me uneasy... and you better be able to handle my singing.
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I Prefer to Live in Fantasy Land
Posts: 64864
Location: In the Hills of Texas | hoofs_in_motion - 2015-05-11 2:15 PM I have found....that there can be quite a bit of butthurt on the haul home....especially if one or the other wins, and the other doesn't place.....not a fun ride home lol. I haul alone, I like it that way.
I've always been a cheerleader for my friends and have never been an ahole to any of them when they would do good and I did squat. I would actually be happy for them.
I had 2 friends that hauled together all the time and I would meet them there. One had a lot of money and was always mounted and very seldom didn't bring home a check. The other lady started barrel racing late in life and just kept getting better and better and then it happened...she won a saddle at a big race and the other did squat. The normal winner had a hissy fit and wanted to pack up and leave as soon as she made her last run. Told the other lady that she could pay to have them send the saddle if she won it. I told my friend to tell the other lady to go ahead and go home and I would stay and take her home. I guess it guilted the other friend and she did stay but the winner said it was the longest ride home ever and she felt guilty looking at the first saddle she won sitting in the back seat...People can really suck.. |
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Veteran
Posts: 120
| I hauled with a gal once.......never again...she drove 90 mph the whole way on a two lane road while looking at facebook on her phone......I thought I was going to die, along with my most precious equine partner. Then when we got there it took her an hour just to do her hair in the morning and then another hour to do her makeup. I was way over that. lol |
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 Expert
Posts: 1482
Location: on my horse | Longneck - 2015-05-11 2:34 PM
I always haul my horse by myself, but I have a friend that has LQ (I currently do not) and when we go (in different rigs) to bigger races I bunk with her. The sleeping on a popup bed sucks big time, but when you have two people doing the unloading process at big shows it helps a ton! She settles the horses in the stalls and I tote the tack and feed. Then in the mornings (I'm an earlier riser) I go off and do the feed/hay/watering and she stays back and makes coffee and gets whatever we're having for breakfast ready. It's a perfect set up for now... but I probably won't my mind alone time when I have my own LQ!
It would have to be someone that I'm really, really good friends with and can make easy conversation with to haul with. I'm a talker and silence for long periods of time starts to make me uneasy... and you better be able to handle my singing.
YES the singing! I honestly think that's the reason I haul alone for the most part, nobody else can handle the singing but the dog  |
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 Living within my means
Posts: 5128
Location: Randolph, Utah | I have a very select few that I can haul with, especially for an overnight race. Most of the time I prefer to go alone or my sister and I go together. We have a system that works for us. I prefer to drive, last time I let someone I didn't know well drive she was more concerned about how much smoke she could get the truck to blow than watching the road! If my sister and I go we are usually full. But I've been known to throw in an extra horse so I'l don't have room, bad I know but sometimes it's hard to say no.
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 Chicken Chick
Posts: 3562
Location: Texas | My best friend I can go anywhere with. She has a different aproach with how she does things but we just go with it. I'm the worrier and she has no care in the world lol. We have been best friends since elementary school. Everything we do is a competition, we know it... everyone knows it. We will seriously compete at everything, from fastest times to who has the tighter grouping when shooting lol. It works for us though because the loser is never a sore loser and the winner doesn't rub it in. We are happy for the other person winning but the winner is gracious... if that makes sense. We are both the personality that if the winner started rubbing it in we would probably come to blows, we get serious lol.
When we were younger we were both competing for Queen. Me and my mom would go pick her and her horse up and we would practice the pattern together. My mom with a background in halter helped both of us get out horses looking the best they could the day of the competition. I won, she was sad but it never hurt our friendship. My point with that is we aren't against helping the other. We want to beat the other person on an even level, because we truly want to be better then the other person in what ever we are doing lol. It isn't much of a fair match if the other has tons of practice or an advantage of some sort.
Now that being said. Once I was running late so she offered for her and her boyfriend to swing by my house and pick up me and my horse. It was only about a mile trip, I didn't think anything of it. Well her idiot boyfriend beat the snot out of my horse with the trailer ride. I knew he was a moron but I had no clue how big of one. This dude gave my poor horse the roughest trailer ride of his life in a 1 mile span. I backed my horse off the trailer and he was missing hair all over his head. I'm surprised he didn't come out of the trailer knocked silly. The horse was missing a few screws already, he didn't need any help lol.
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 929
| I just use the excuse that I haul mares who are hormonal or a stallion who is 3. (Even though he stands tied quieter than the dingbat mares do.) Keeps most people from begging me to be their hauling buddy. |
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Take a Picture
Posts: 12841
| banjomia - 2015-05-11 3:42 PM
I hauled with a gal once.......never again...she drove 90 mph the whole way on a two lane road while looking at facebook on her phone......I thought I was going to die, along with my most precious equine partner. Then when we got there it took her an hour just to do her hair in the morning and then another hour to do her makeup. I was way over that. lol
If someone drove 90 while on Facebook I think I would have ridden my horse home. |
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Industrial Srength Barrel Racer
Posts: 7268
| Nevertooold - 2015-05-11 3:40 PM
hoofs_in_motion - 2015-05-11 2:15 PM I have found....that there can be quite a bit of butthurt on the haul home....especially if one or the other wins, and the other doesn't place.....not a fun ride home lol. I haul alone, I like it that way.
I've always been a cheerleader for my friends and have never been an ahole to any of them when they would do good and I did squat. I would actually be happy for them.
I had 2 friends that hauled together all the time and I would meet them there. One had a lot of money and was always mounted and very seldom didn't bring home a check. The other lady started barrel racing late in life and just kept getting better and better and then it happened...she won a saddle at a big race and the other did squat. The normal winner had a hissy fit and wanted to pack up and leave as soon as she made her last run. Told the other lady that she could pay to have them send the saddle if she won it. I told my friend to tell the other lady to go ahead and go home and I would stay and take her home. I guess it guilted the other friend and she did stay but the winner said it was the longest ride home ever and she felt guilty looking at the first saddle she won sitting in the back seat...People can really suck..
This is sad - women can sure be b*tches.
I haul alone, I don't want to pack all my crap into somebody else's trailer and I like to arrive early, park where I want to, stop when I want to, etc. |
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Hauling with other people