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  Damn Yankee
Posts: 12390
   
Location: Somewhere between raising hell and Amazing Grace | I knew a small handful of members may remember well over a year ago the problems I was having with my mother in law. She was awful and evil. She convinced herself and tried to convince everyone around her that I intentionally harmed myself to cause a miscarriage, among so many other horrible evil things she did.
I somehow managed to remain kind and civil to her. But her immediate family listened to her stories and apparently believed every word she said. So they all refused to talk to me. Which didn't really hurt anything because they were already somewhat like that prior. Somehow we all still managed to be civil for gatherings and actually had some good times.
Anyways....I am so very grateful that I have learned to be kind. That I have learned that just because somebody hates me....it does NOT mean that I have to hate them back.
My mother in law tried several times in the last year to overdose on Rx meds. She was doing everything in her power to force her passing early. She got so angry at all of us when we took her to the hospital on her last attempt that she cancelled her life insurance policy. I have no idea how much it was for, we never asked because we didn't care about the money. Hubby was upset and told her that since she cancelled it, that he was going to get another one for her and pay for it so that when the time came we would have money for a funeral. She told him not to because she had already paid for the funeral expenses ahead of time to the funeral home in her town.
Well.....his mom got her wish. She refused all her medications. Nobody could force her to do anything and because of her suicide attempts and written requests, the hospital could not accept her even if we had tried.
She passed away yesterday morning.....and we found out she had not been honest about paying for anything, as there is no money for a funeral anywhere.
And the ONE person she seemed to hate most in this world......is the only person that has enough money to pay for her funeral since not a single other family member can......
Am I mad? At her, yes for being so hateful to do that to everyone. But at the same time, when I look at people around me, I am humbled and grateful to have been able to grow into the person who will pay for the funeral anyways despite how horrible she was to me........
Edited by missroselee 2015-07-28 2:11 PM
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Nut Case Expert
Posts: 9305
Location: Tulsa, Ok | I am sorry about the MIL, but congratulations on your kindness and maturity. Experience has taught me that taking the high road in these situation is something you will never regret. |
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Damn Yankee
Posts: 12390
Location: Somewhere between raising hell and Amazing Grace | SC Wrangler - 2015-07-28 3:11 PM I am sorry about the MIL, but congratulations on your kindness and maturity. Experience has taught me that taking the high road in these situation is something you will never regret.
Having to bury my mother way too young is a part of why I am who I am today. I have no regrets with my own mother. Our very last conversation I was upset at her and pretty much hung up on her. But there were no regrets because I know in my heart that she didn't care. I never had to prove anything to her. She knew. There was nothing to forgive because she was never mad at me and if she was here today, she would tell you the same thing.
But it showed me how important it is to be kind no matter what. Don't do it for anyone else. Do it for yourself. What kindness does or doesn't do to other people may not be nearly as important as what it does to you. |
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 Shelter Dog Lover
Posts: 10277
| I am sorry she was so miserable to you. You can hold your head high and have no regrets for how you dealt with her.
Edited by rodeomom3 2015-07-28 2:17 PM
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 Sorry I don't have any advice
Posts: 1975
 
Location: Sunnyland Florida |
It's very unfortunate that you had to deal with all of that over the years. However, I have heard you speak very highly of your husband, and you two seem perfect together. Your Mother-in-Law gave you him; and that was most likely one of her greatest accomplishments.
Prayers for your family. |
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 Expert
Posts: 2097
Location: Deep South | How very blessed you are that you can live the rest of your life knowing that you have zero regrets with her passing.
If my MIL died today I'm afraid that I could not say the same. I have a couple stories very similar to yours, but have not handled the situations with nearly the grace and maturity.
Thank you for sharing your story. |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 512
| So proud of you for showing that dedicated, Godly love!
You can sleep at night knowing you did your very best! |
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 Googly Goo
Posts: 7053
| Must be a very painful time for your husband. Anything you can do to make it easier is the right thing to do. |
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Expert
Posts: 5321
Location: Texas | Many prayers to you and your husband in this difficult time. I too had a MIL that was the same way until she took her life. I commend you for being a kind person through this. You won't regret it. |
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Damn Yankee
Posts: 12390
Location: Somewhere between raising hell and Amazing Grace | TXBO - 2015-07-28 3:55 PM Must be a very painful time for your husband. Anything you can do to make it easier is the right thing to do.
I'm not doing it for her....I am doing it for my husband. He doesn't need the stress of everybody fighting over who is going to pay for it or the stress of having to pay for it himself. |
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 Expert
Posts: 3815
Location: The best kept secret in TX | Good for you for being the bigger person. I find it very ironic as well that the one person she gave the most grief too is the one person who is willing and able to pay for her to rest peacefully.
(Not for her, but for your husband of course.) |
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 Money Eating Baggage Owner
Posts: 9586
Location: Phoenix | I'm sorry your husband had to grow up with a mother like that.
Funny the way it is..... |
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One Grateful Mom
Posts: 2702
Location: wolverton,mn | Wow,sounds like a tough number of years! Hope some peace can occur in your life now. |
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 I Prefer to Live in Fantasy Land
Posts: 64864
Location: In the Hills of Texas | missroselee - 2015-07-28 2:14 PM SC Wrangler - 2015-07-28 3:11 PM I am sorry about the MIL, but congratulations on your kindness and maturity. Experience has taught me that taking the high road in these situation is something you will never regret. Having to bury my mother way too young is a part of why I am who I am today. I have no regrets with my own mother. Our very last conversation I was upset at her and pretty much hung up on her. But there were no regrets because I know in my heart that she didn't care. I never had to prove anything to her. She knew. There was nothing to forgive because she was never mad at me and if she was here today, she would tell you the same thing.
But it showed me how important it is to be kind no matter what. Don't do it for anyone else. Do it for yourself. What kindness does or doesn't do to other people may not be nearly as important as what it does to you.
This is so sad as I was blessed to have a wonderful mother and I have a great relationship with our daughter. I can't imagine someone having a hateful mother. Mother's just aren't made that way.
Sending prayers.. |
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I Prefer to Live in Fantasy Land
Posts: 64864
Location: In the Hills of Texas | missroselee - 2015-07-28 4:00 PM TXBO - 2015-07-28 3:55 PM Must be a very painful time for your husband. Anything you can do to make it easier is the right thing to do. I'm not doing it for her....I am doing it for my husband. He doesn't need the stress of everybody fighting over who is going to pay for it or the stress of having to pay for it himself.
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 Can You Hear Me Now?
Location: When you hit the middle of nowhere .. Keep driving | Prayers and hugs for your family. It's hard as heck. Kudo's to you for everything. I have learned money is just money since my fathers passing and I think my brother has too. No regrets and happy memories (Even if you have to search for them) is the best thing. |
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Damn Yankee
Posts: 12390
Location: Somewhere between raising hell and Amazing Grace | hammer_time - 2015-07-28 6:42 PM I'm sorry your husband had to grow up with a mother like that. Funny the way it is.....
He didn't grow up with her like that. She wasn't like that until a few years ago. Most of it was her disease. That's a lot of why we don't resent her for her actions, because hubby said it wasn't his mother anymore, but it was the disease and depression taking over. |
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Expert
Posts: 3815
Location: The best kept secret in TX | missroselee - 2015-07-28 7:30 PM hammer_time - 2015-07-28 6:42 PM I'm sorry your husband had to grow up with a mother like that. Funny the way it is..... He didn't grow up with her like that. She wasn't like that until a few years ago. Most of it was her disease. That's a lot of why we don't resent her for her actions, because hubby said it wasn't his mother anymore, but it was the disease and depression taking over.
What a great way to look at it.
Ptayers. |
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 Bulls Eye
Posts: 6443
Location: Oklahoma | Many prayers for you and Josh. I'm happy you and he will not be tormented any longer, but my heart breaks for him and you. Hugs. |
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 Namesless in BHW
Posts: 10368
Location: At the race track with Ah Dee Ohs | I remember you saying how mean and evil she was. I'm sorry you and your husband are having to deal with all of this. Kudos to you for being the person you are. Prayers for your family in this difficult time. |
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 Expert
Posts: 2128
| May gob bless you for handling the situation with such grace. Sorry she was so horrible to you. I hope the days ahead are filled with peace. |
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So totally off topic