equussynergy - 2015-09-10 2:05 PM Well let me tell you a little story. I grew up in a small poor little town. My Mom got hurt badly at work and had to go on assistance so we wouldn't be homeless. When I turned 18 I couldn't stay with my mom anymore but I was caring for her and helping her with things she couldn't do. So we went down to social services and talked to my mom's case worker about what we could do, I was working but not making enough to pay all our bills. That Lady looked straight at me and asked, "Are your pregnant" Shocked I said No!, I was a size 1 Lol. She asked me again and then add that if I were pregnant she could just sign me up for benefits, add me to my moms rental agreement and even get me signed up to go our community college. I told her again there was no way I was pregnant and she said well then you'll have to move out, but come in if anything changes. We walked out of that office stunned at what had just happened and what we were told. She basically told me, get knocked up and we will give you all these free stuff. My sister did go down that road, She got free housing, reduced utilities, $600 in food stamps, medical,  and went to school to be a nurse pretty much for free all because she had two kids out of wedlock. It is disgusting to me.

Nevertooold - 2015-09-10 2:15 PM This is how it is in the ghettos. It is their lifestyle and has been for generations. Another great liberal policy that came back to bite us all. 

equussynergy - 2015-09-10 2:05 PM

Well let me tell you a little story. I grew up in a small poor little town. My Mom got hurt badly at work and had to go on assistance so we wouldn't be homeless. When I turned 18 I couldn't stay with my mom anymore but I was caring for her and helping her with things she couldn't do. So we went down to social services and talked to my mom's case worker about what we could do, I was working but not making enough to pay all our bills. That Lady looked straight at me and asked, "Are your pregnant" Shocked I said No!, I was a size 1 Lol. She asked me again and then add that if I were pregnant she could just sign me up for benefits, add me to my moms rental agreement and even get me signed up to go our community college. I told her again there was no way I was pregnant and she said well then you'll have to move out, but come in if anything changes. We walked out of that office stunned at what had just happened and what we were told. She basically told me, get knocked up and we will give you all these free stuff. My sister did go down that road, She got free housing, reduced utilities, $600 in food stamps, medical,  and went to school to be a nurse pretty much for free all because she had two kids out of wedlock. It is disgusting to me.

GLP - 2015-09-10 3:25 PM I sat in the stands in Refugio when my son's freshman basketball team played them. I was shocked at how many of the varsity players at Refugio had MULTPLE baby mommas! Those girls AND the girls' mommas were SO proud their kid/grandkid was fathered by these young deadbeats. These kids were the celebrities of their school. The girls had stature because an athlete had gotten them pregnant.

hoofs_in_motion - 2015-09-10 7:09 PM  Why does it matter? I was 20 when I was pregnant with my daughter......and no it wasn't on purpose. I don't think you need to generalize all those who are young getting pregnant on purpose to all young women. Crap happens

Peewee212 - 2015-09-10 3:36 PM

My husbands first girlfriend did this, they dated for maybe 6 months, she made friends with one of my husbands best friends(cousin) girlfriends who was a senior in high school, this girl was first year in college. They schemed up this plan to get pregnant at the same time, 9 months later they have their kids less then 10 days apart from one another. My husband had left this girl soon after he was informed what they did, his cousin married his girlfriend before she had the baby. The girl that got her wedding informed all of the family what this other girl had done (even though she did the same thing), and told them they got on the internet to find out what month they needed to get pregnant to have the babies a certain time of year ( Im not sure why they needed the internet to tell them how far away nine months is and one of them was a nursing student at the time), then that they were taking prenatals, and they were both said they were on birth control and lied about it. This was crazy to me, and the thing is both of these girls I think come from pretty good families.
And your all probably wondering how I ended up with the man who left his girlfriend. (Or not) I grew up in the same area, we were all friends growing up, never had any intentions of being in a relationship with him, I went to college and somehow he found a way to make me fall for him. We've been together for almost 8 years now, married for 4.5 years. And I have a wonderful step daughter. The thing is she's now old enough to start asking questions. She has always known me as the woman with her dad, she was 2 months old when I finally agreed to date my now husband. Her mom married when she was about 4. The relationship between her and us is barely speaking. I actually do not speak to her, we had tried to be friends in the beginning, but she was always making stuff up about me and my family (who she still does not know), telling people that her and my husband were thinking of getting back together, etc. I finally cut all ties, and haven't spoken to her in probably 3 years. My husband talks to her only if his daughter needs picked up or dropped off somewhere different than what the parenting plan states, but the rest is all in paper, we didn't actually have a parenting plan until my step daughter was 5, her mom had this thing about picking fights every few months or so (my husband is not a fighter, but shed always try really hard to bring me into it), well we both had had enough and finally decided to take her to court (they settled outside), but she now hates us even more because we get a lot more time with his daughter. We have always been really careful about things that are said, but I've always made my step daughter feel comfortable about talking about her mom, etc. I don't want her to know how much we really don't like one another, and so far I think we've done pretty good. And its not that I just completely hate her mom, because its not like that, its just we found everyones lives are better if the relationship is a minimal one, and I think its a mutual feeling. She is the facebooker type, I have never had facebook nor has my husband, but she would try to find things about us on it, she actually had the nerve to ask my husband about 2 wks after we were married if I was pregnant. I found out later she was snooping on my moms facebook and someone had said congratulations grandma (my brother was expecting), I then had my mom set her personal setting to friends only, not that that can keep her from snooping. I had to confront her via text about it, and I ask her very nicely to not bring her business in to ours, if it was something to do with her daughter it was fine to talk to my husband, but I wasn't ok with her asking us about our lives, etc. and I also explained to her that if we had news that we were expecting it would be something we as in me and my husband would want to tell his daughter. The next weekend when my step daughter came, she told me her mom told her I had a baby in my tummy.
So now that I've dragged that out, I have actually never come out and told somewhat strangers that story, something I have always kept with family and close friends, not something we try to dwell on and now why after so many years Im thinking about the decision this girl made. I guess I watch my step daughter grow up, and shes such a beautiful, smart girl, I hope that some how some way we can keep her from making the same choice her mom made. I wouldn't trade her for anything, but to me that is one of the most selfish things a woman can do. The thing is she doesn't realize how lucky her daughter is to have so many people that love her, because I know some people are in different situations and they don't have the best of both worlds, I can say I think my step daughter does. It's still hard to watch her have to share holidays (she's always missing out, we don't tell her that) and its hard to watch her get passed around. We've tried to make the best of it, but I think it hurts the children more than anything. All because some girl wanted to get pregnant to keep a man around, and do it with her best friend.....
Since then I have met about 3-4 other girls who have done the same thing, gotten pregnant on purpose. One of those is just like what someone mentioned above, for welfare, she came from a family of 10 kids, pretty much all different dads. She got pregnant and had been on welfare until about a 2 years ago, she's finally realizing what a good job and a support system does for her. I just couldn't imagine making that kind of decision, I had a goal, I wanted to go to college and get a job and support myself before anyone else was going to support me. And that's what I did. And I thank God everyday for the life he has given me, we have had our shares of ups and downs, and have been through more than most in our first 5 years of marriage, but he has a plan for us. This is just a little part of it.

Sorry about the long post, thanks to those who listen.

Nevertooold - 2015-09-10 7:34 PM We aren't talking about the opps...We are talking about the young that plan their opps...Huge difference. Whether it be for trapping a man, following a way of life that has been handed down generation to generation or for attention...young...unmarried girls getting pregnant on purpose is a problem. 

casualdust07 - 2015-09-11 7:30 AM

When I taught high school I knew several girls who wanted to get pregnant so they would keep their boyfriend. Some of them truly wanted to be a mom that early. I think its because of the environment they were raised in, that it was normal for them to get pregnant in their teens. The sad thing is, which they all find out.. rarely does having a baby with a guy lock them down.

hoofs_in_motion - 2015-09-11 7:49 AM


while yes I do completely understand that, and yes it's a problem.....being a single parent is not fun. What is thing was extremely rude was a comment made earlier on the thread that stated that having a child out of wedlock means living in poverty....that's pretty bold to say. 

hoofs_in_motion - 2015-09-11 7:49 AM while yes I do completely understand that, and yes it's a problem.....being a single parent is not fun. What is thing was extremely rude was a comment made earlier on the thread that stated that having a child out of wedlock means living in poverty....that's pretty bold to say. 

komet. - 2015-09-10 3:30 PM


All that and they can drag it in front of a judge and get court ordered child support. Ideally they can produce children by more than one father and Really get the money pouring in.

Chandler's Mom - 2015-09-10 8:47 PM


It sounds to me like your stepdaughter is a blessed young lady to have such a good stepmom. A lot of "steps" air all the dirty laundry in front of the kids and use them as a pawn, and I think it's great that you're not doing that. It will benefit all of you later, but especially that little girl. . . .

ampratt - 2015-09-11 2:14 PM


Sorry but I disagree. I have worked in child support for 27 years. Unfortanately, the fathers of these children are in the same financial category as the mothers, meaning they have no money, no education to speak of and no motivation to do anything about it. They may get court ordered child support but they don't pay so it ends up being a further drain on taxpayer money. We get to pay to keep taking them to court to establish the child support and then again and again to try and make them pay the child support at the expense of the taxpayer. It's a cycle that nevers ends because normally it continues when the children grow up and start having their own children.

komet. - 2015-09-11 2:21 PM Oh, but the things that can happen to the father if he does not pay.... Some of the most common penalties for nonpayment of child support include the following: Warrant issued for arrest, which may be criminal or civil Finding of contempt of court Fines, jail, or both Garnishment of wages, including unemployment and worker's compensation Denial of tax refunds Exclusion from receipt of certain government benefits Revocation of passport Suspension, revocation or denial of various licenses—professional, driver's, hunting/fishing/boating Having a lien placed on property to cover payment

Anniemae - 2015-09-11 4:50 PM Why?  Low self image, low self esteem, feeling they don't matter or are not enough.  Feeling unloved...  Some young ladies believe that having a baby will give them something to love and someone to love them back, without considering all the time, energy, committment and money that children require.  Calling these girls stupid, ignorant, trapping a man, etc..  does nothing for the self image of these girls, in fact it damages them further.  Not to mention there is the boy involved and he obviously didn't put a jacket on it, he's as much to blame in my book, but he receives far less finger pointing as it is much more acceptable for him to be sexually active in our society.  Double standard.

And it doesn't just happen in the ghettos...  jeez.  Young, unmarried, single mothers come from every town, every walk of life, every income..  Though the vast majority of them are already living in low income/poverty and that is all the know or are taught.  It doesn't have to be this way!

The real question we should be asking ourselves, how do we (I) make a difference? How can we teach these young girls that waiting for the right man, growing up (maturing) and getting an education gives them a better chance at the good life?  How do we improve their self image, self confidence?  There are so many programs out there that need volunteers; Big Sister, Church youth groups, Youth activity centers, Boys and Girls clubs, etc.  It only takes a few hours of our time each week to volunteer.  Sometimes the simple act of having an adult just listen to their story, providing a hug and empathy (without being judgemental) goes a long way. 

Whatever their reasons, I just see children having children...   I find it heartbreaking... 

 

Peewee212 - 2015-09-11 2:37 PM


Thank you. I appreciate that.

Nevertooold - 2015-09-11 8:54 PM Just for the record..this is what this thread is about..

"Why do young girls get pregnant on purpose?"  this is what I'm adressing and has nothing to do with mistakes...It's about young unwed girls that get married on purpose. Most of the time it is to try to trap a man or it is for money.

Nevertooold - 2015-09-11 5:33 PM I'm sure this is in my response. Facts are facts and you can't change them. This doesn't only happen in the ghettos but the majority does. It's time for the black community to step up and change what is happening. Families make a huge difference and so many black families never know what it is to have a father.



On the other side...I personally know unwed single mothers that do great. They came from strong families and they went on to get a good education and good jobs that enabled them to be good caretakers. They had strong family values to push them forward instead of following in their mother's footsteps of being a welfare parent.



Racial or ethnic groupPercent of births considered "non-marital"Asian Americans and Pacific Islanders17 percent

Non-Hispanic whites29 percent

Hispanics53 percent

American Indian and Native Alaskans66 percent

Non-Hispanic blacks73 percent

 

wickedstepmother - 2015-09-12 1:09 AM He can volumtarily sign over his rights if he's that serious about it. I wish my ex would.

barrelracr131 - 2015-09-12 9:18 AM  How about helping these people instead of condemning them? These young women who try to get pregnant in high school on purpose could use a positive influence in their lives. 



"Be the change you wish to see in the world"

Anniemae - 2015-09-12 2:24 AM


Statistics can be found anywhere, and can be used to prove any point if you look hard enough. Though I don't doubt your stats, I certainly don't blame a single race for the problems associated with young, single women, intentially getting pregnant.  I personally know more white females, unwed, young that are single parents - This is due to my demographic area.  Doesn't change the fact that these young girls still got pregnant for the some of reasons I mentioned above.

You are right that it takes a village to raise a child and a community to change the tide!!

A third of all unintended pregnancies are to unmarried women in their 20s31 — about 60% ended in birth; 26% ended in abortion; and the rest ended in miscarriage.32
Black and Hispanic women have the highest teen pregnancy rates — 100 and 84 per 1,000 women aged 15–19, respectively; whites have the lowest rate with 38 pregnancies per 1,000.32
In 2013, 15% of the 1.6 million children born out of wedlock in the U.S. were to teenagers under age 20, 37% were to women ages 20 through 24

It's a huge problem, so how do we change the tide?  How to teach these young ladies to have more self respect for themselves? What are the solutions?  1.6 million children were born in 2013 to teenagers, children themselves.  Regardless of what stats you want to use, this is just a crying shame!  

Nevertooold - 2015-09-12 5:33 PM That's the problem. Liberal policies have been rewarding them for having kids out of wedlock for years. How about they start rewarding young girls that aren't getting paid for having kids out of wedlock? The cycle has to be broken in the ghettos where the probelm is the biggest. As long as they are getting paid for having these out of wedlock babies, nothing is going to change. It's a chosen lifestyle that they grew up with and they know nothing else. I had friends that use to go and tutor down in the Chicago projects and they said the only way these young girls could be helped is if they were totally taken out of that environment.

vjls - 2015-09-12 6:28 AM


were you talking about my post if so please elbaorate 

barrelracr131 - 2015-09-13 7:41 AM  I meant personally helping these people, not putting them on welfare. There are many opportunities to volunteer to help young women- and I'm not talking about money.