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Posts: 133
  Location: texas | So i just recently posted a thing about my third barrel and what i could do to fix it and attached some runs with it.....well i do appreciate all the advise but are yall always that not rude but just overpowering and nit pick everything? i mean YES I KNOW IM NOT A PERFECT RIDER but some of you just made me feel like im a POS rider and dont have a clue what im doing. Some that responded where just too harsh. didnt give me any good feedback or any compliemnets...all bad stuff. i can tell you now that i wont be posting anymore of my runs:) i dont mean to offend anybody but ive noticed that all you ladies do to each other when somebody post a barrel run asking a a couple tips...
Like a couple months ago somebody posted there pole and barrel run that was clean and looked like a heck of a run to me; the poster said something like "so proud of my boy running so hard for me!" then a whole bunch of people start commenting saying either
1.)sit up, look up, put you hands lower etc
2.)you need to slow down and go back to basics
3.) you need to sell that horse hes blah blah blah
Just saying ladies! lets have some words of encouragement and things that will motivate each other instead on kicking us in the gut! This wasnt meant to offend or be mean to anybody i promise just saying what ive been seeing! God Bless yall and your horses:)) |
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  Warmblood with Wings
Posts: 27846
           Location: Florida.. | My apologies if my Post was to critical It surely wasnt meant to be. Trainer mode sets in for alot of us and I think if you ask we just say what we think is the best way for you to further your riding and the horses.. advice given.. I dont feel it is a direct bash of you or your riding I think its more of a training issue and the only way you as a rider will learn is for advice.. you asked and advice was given.. I dont recall anyone being rude? or making you feel like you cant ride.. going back to basics and slow isnt a bash.. its the best way to get a horse with you.. and you with him.. again Apologies ..certainly didnt want you to feel like you cant ride.. |
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Expert
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| Just PM the good people on here, to hell with the snotty know it all types. |
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Expert
Posts: 1561
   
| Bibliafarm - 2015-10-05 11:03 PM
My apologies if my Post was to critical It surely wasnt meant to be. Trainer mode sets in for alot of us and I think if you ask we just say what we think is the best way for you to further your riding and the horses.. advice given.. I dont feel it is a direct bash of you or your riding I think its more of a training issue and the only way you as a rider will learn is for advice.. you asked and advice was given.. I dont recall anyone being rude? or making you feel like you cant ride.. going back to basics and slow isnt a bash.. its the best way to get a horse with you.. and you with him.. again Apologies ..certainly didnt want you to feel like you cant ride..
And I agree with this, people need to learn how to take constructive criticism. |
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  Warmblood with Wings
Posts: 27846
           Location: Florida.. | I dont see any one being rude. It was advice.. Maybe words typed on here sound differant then intended. http://forums.barrelhorseworld.com/forum/forums/thread-view.asp?tid=466119&posts=13&start=1 |
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Posts: 133
  Location: texas | i meant to say "yall werent rude just kinda like harsh and nit picking" my bad |
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The Advice Guru
Posts: 6419
     
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Welcome to the adult world.
Things I have learned in life
Sugar coating things will get you nowhere
Constructive criticism can seem harsh, but you need to put your ego aside and learn from what people are saying.
Out of every interaction, you should be able to learn one thing, so don't be throwing your sucker in the dirt, reflect back, and learn from the experience.
Take from the experience and learn from it. Learn how to respond to criticism. By doing this post, it isn't classy. You do something like this later on in life and it will bite you in the arse, possibly even cost you jobs, promotions. |
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  Fact Checker
Posts: 16572
       Location: Displaced Iowegian | cheryl makofka - 2015-10-05 11:09 PM Welcome to the adult world. Things I have learned in life Sugar coating things will get you nowhere Constructive criticism can seem harsh, but you need to put your ego aside and learn from what people are saying. Out of every interaction, you should be able to learn one thing, so don't be throwing your sucker in the dirt, reflect back, and learn from the experience. Take from the experience and learn from it. Learn how to respond to criticism. By doing this post, it isn't classy. You do something like this later on in life and it will bite you in the arse, possibly even cost you jobs, promotions.
^^^^^ THIS |
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 Saint Stacey
            
| I was just reading that thread. I personally didn't see anyone being harsh. You asked for advice, people gave it. The problem with the written word is that you can't hear a tone to the word. If you are sensitive then when you read something, you might read it in a tone that is totally off from what the person posting meant it to be read in. Does that make sense?
I personally thought the advice was spot on for the most part. But I read it in a business like manner with no emotion. All I would add is in your slow work, really reinforce rate and turn on 2nd and 3rd. Walk up to them both, stop at your rate point and stand. Then circle the barrel twice and keep the body shaped. When you are leaving both barrels, make the horse step over and overturn them slightly before straighting the body to go to your next barrel or home as the case may be. |
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 Undercover Amish Mafia Member
Posts: 9991
           Location: Kansas | Hold on......where are you getting that they were harsh? I read that thread....not once did I see anything that was negative. They were giving you advice not only on how you need to ride, but what would work for your horse as well.
Sorry but good horsemanship skills are a huge part of barrel racing.
No need to get butt hurt and make a new thread complaining when people were just trying to help you. |
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 Toastest with the Mostest
Posts: 5712
    Location: That part of Texas | Ashlen1515 - 2015-10-05 11:09 PM i meant to say "yall werent rude just kinda like harsh and nit picking" my bad
The difference between being good and being great is in those nitpicked details. Looking at those areas and changing them is what takes you higher. Instead of asking other people to change, it's easier to make a change in how you see things. You can chose to see that nitpicking as being bad and tearing down others or you can view them as actual words of encouragement -- a gift even -- being offered for free by people who know how to take you to the next level. They cared enough about you, your horse and your riding to offer those words of advice. It's up to you what you do with them. |
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 Dog Resuce Agent
Posts: 3459
        Location: southeast Texas | Something to think about. You got a lot of "free" training/riding advice many have paid hard earned $$ to get this information. Some, thru trial and error with lots of sweat and tears thrown in. I wish I could have had this information at my fingertips when I was young and starting out.
( the above is not sugar coated ) |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 929
     
| Unfortunately for a lot of the younger crowd (I am on the tail end of this as the last GenX er year) we now expect "advice" to now be warm and fuzzy with lots of "atta girl's!!!" and not so much, "LOOK UP!!! IF YOU LOOK DOWN THAT'S WHERE YOU WILL END UP!!!" type stuff.
But those of us that are in it to win it and can get past the yelling will see through to the fact that we:
1) may need to put our hands down, stop leaning, look up, etc. (If it's inhibiting my horse enough for someone to be saying the same thing over an over...maybe I should do it. Just a thought)
2) if you pay a lot of money for an Ed Wright/Sharon Camarillo/George Morris/ Steffan Peters clinic and they are yelling THE SAME THING...maybe you should do it and not think you are wasting $600 for someone to yell at you. They have been there and know how to get results
3) not everyone wins a blue ribbon or a gold buckle in the real world
4) barrel racing and most equine sports require quick movements and lots of "doing" rather than muddling over our feelings. Please do not ask for advice and then get mad when honest advice is given. I don't see anywhere where anyone said "you suck, you should unsaddle the horse and sit on the fence."
We all need to start somewhere and there are many levels of riders on this board. Some are professionals who we would be paying $60 or more to take a lesson with. I, for one, am not going to give up the opportunity to learn from them for free. Even if their criticism would be something like, if you lost 10lbs your horse could clock better and you wouldn't get left behind when she leaves the 2nd barrel." Normally this would be harsh. But if I want to seriously improve, maybe I should listen to what is actually being said and not dwell on something that I already know and make it someone else's fault. Own your shortcomings and don't allow them to own you and it will release you to move forward with your riding. Good luck!!!  |
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 Accident Prone
Posts: 22277
          Location: 100 miles from Nowhere, AR | How is "go back to basics" saying you can't ride? That's the FIRST thing a trainer does to fix a problem. Take the horse back to kindergarten, get it fixed away from the pattern, then go to the barrels and add speed. 90% of the time, the dry work fixes the pattern problem. And we as riders all get into bad habits sometimes. Monkey see-monkey do...they're contagious. If you have a good foundation in horsemanship, problems are easy to fix once brought to our attention.
Heres a secret: most pros have someone they trust critique (Nitpick!) them regularly. Because no one is perfect, and a second set of eyes might catch something that was missed. Nitpicking separates winners from also rans. |
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 Serious Snap Trapper
Posts: 4275
       Location: In The Snow, AZ | I had the AWESOME opportunity to get yelled and screamed at while attending a Connie Combs clinic. My brain is failing me, I cannot recall the woman's name who was there with Connie. But she's an ex drill Sargent. And I'll tell you what, that lady has a set of lungs on her and she will use them if you screw up. We were all being yelled at left and right. At first, I thought, I didn't spend this much $ to get yelled at.... But then it clicked. And it became motivational and pushed me to try harder and do better. It isn't all going to be "nicey nice". But you have to take the bad with the good. And vise versa. Learn and grow. |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 1037
 
| Just read your original thread and there wasnt anyone being rude, harsh, etc... they were actually giving you GREAT advice!
Sorry you didnt like what they had to say. |
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  Living on the edge of common sense
Posts: 24138
        Location: Carpenter, WY | cheryl makofka - 2015-10-05 10:09 PM Welcome to the adult world. Things I have learned in life Sugar coating things will get you nowhere Constructive criticism can seem harsh, but you need to put your ego aside and learn from what people are saying. Out of every interaction, you should be able to learn one thing, so don't be throwing your sucker in the dirt, reflect back, and learn from the experience. Take from the experience and learn from it. Learn how to respond to criticism. By doing this post, it isn't classy. You do something like this later on in life and it will bite you in the arse, possibly even cost you jobs, promotions. I agree. This is NOT directed to the orginator of this thread, but you can almost tell the age of the poster on here or FB or wherever, by their use of the English language and the expected sugar coating when asking for a critique when they post a video or ask for a critique. I read the thread also and didn't see any rudeness. Going back to basics is never a bad idea in any discipline. That's why ropers may score 20 head of cattle to every one they actually rope when training or a barrel racer may spend a month walking around a barrel before attempting a run at it. If you can't get it down going slow or before adding speed you're always going to have problems plus every horse is different with a different set of problems or learning curve. I did read the OP's profile and the 'hate people who can afford automatic horses' prompts me to maybe offer the suggestion that with enough time spent training you can make your own automatic horse and don't have to harbor that envy :) Shoot, you should have seen some of the comments 10 years ago if the OP thought this was bad LOL
Edited by teehaha 2015-10-06 12:16 PM
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 Own It and Move On
      Location: The edge of no where | Whiney much? I went back and read the original post - there was a lot of kind constructive advice on how to fix the issue. IF you want a look at the OP's personality...... this came straight off her profile. Love & peace, y'all.... Love & peace....
Things I Hate - People who can afford automatic horses
Edited by MS2011 2015-10-06 12:20 PM
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 pressure dripper
Posts: 8696
        Location: the end of the rainbow | ~BINGO~ - 2015-10-06 8:54 AM
I had the AWESOME opportunity to get yelled and screamed at while attending a Connie Combs clinic. My brain is failing me, I cannot recall the woman's name who was there with Connie. But she's an ex drill Sargent. And I'll tell you what, that lady has a set of lungs on her and she will use them if you screw up. We were all being yelled at left and right. At first, I thought, I didn't spend this much $ to get yelled at.... But then it clicked. And it became motivational and pushed me to try harder and do better. It isn't all going to be "nicey nice". But you have to take the bad with the good. And vise versa. Learn and grow.
if you ever do a clinic with Dolli Lauteret don't get your feelers hurt if she tells you you're riding like crap do xyz. Except the list of things she tells you to do is about a mile long. She is awesome. I love having that kind of motivation every now & then. |
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 Bulls Eye
Posts: 6443
       Location: Oklahoma | All the advice offered on the original thread is being offered FREE... not many places you can go and get free advice. It may hurt reading what you don't want to see, but at the end of the day... you are getting advice that you can choose to use or not use. |
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 BHW New Catch of the Day
Posts: 9883
          Location: Missouri | First I just want to say, your 3rd video was by far your nicest run. Your horse finished the 2nd and set you up for a better 3rd. I also read everyones replies and while hearing those things can sound discouraging and harsh to you, because they are about you and your horse, I didn't read anything that sounded like it was meant to be hurtful, just helpful.
We all strive to be better and sometimes it's just down right hard to accept we are not doing our best.
Keep your chin up, keep trying. I agree with slowing down and getting better barrels. I agree with a few posters that stated you never really "sat" and asked your horse to turn.
Good luck and keep riding |
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 Expert
Posts: 1525
  
| You know what I learned a long time ago if you are a little sensitve to critisism? DONT ASK...just dont. The best thing you can do for yourself is watch a million videos of the best of the best and be honest with yourself about the differences. They will be painfullly obvious most of the time. You will see the timing that other girls seem to have that you dont. You will see the way the others use or dont use their hands...their feet. If you dont think that person would look that good without riding such and "automatic" horse then watch some futurity girls like Molly Montgomery or Jolene Montgomery, Latricia Duke, Kay Blandford, Dena Kirkpatrick, Jana Bean, Brittney Pozzi....and watch what they have to do to react to those colts, that are not so automatic, when they screw up. Are they sitting deeper in their saddle? Are they riding more aggresive? Not everyone learns by listening...obviously some of the comments/advice hurt your feelings...I am sure that wasn't the intention...but we are all a little sensitive about certain things...dont put yourself in the position to get your confidence hurt. Find a really good friend, one that wont necessarily tell you what you want to hear but that can give you an outside perspective that wont hurt your feelings....and watch a trillion videos. That way all you can do is be honest with yourself...There are a lot of times that I know I am not doing something right...because both of my horses are making the same mistakes....and I am not quick to post a video and find out from joe-blow and every one online what it is. I get online, I watch a milltion videos, I call a couple good friends that kick my ass on the daily and know what they are talking about and I do some tuning on myself. I am sorry you got your feelings hurt, you kinda inadvertently set yourself up....from now on do some research on your own and then ask someone who keeps outrunning you that you respect. Good luck and remember to have fun!
Edited by MOTIVATED 2015-10-06 12:55 PM
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 I Prefer to Live in Fantasy Land
Posts: 64864
                    Location: In the Hills of Texas | I just read the original post and I don't see anyone being harsh. As far as nit picking....all the little things end up costing you time. Very seldom have I ever heard someone that just won a barrel race not nit pik about something in their run as letter perfect runs are a rarity and not the norm. Nit piking makes you better and faster and helps eliminate bigger problems.
Edited by Nevertooold 2015-10-06 1:10 PM
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 Employee of the month
Posts: 7657
      Location: gone crazy! | I read the Original Thread & I also agree, there wasn't anything said that was harsh or nit picky.
Im going to say this as nice as possible b/c i truly mean it from the heart. The problem with American today is people who get their feelings hurt over nothing. Your offended over nothing. Pick yourself up by the boot straps & move on. IF someone had said something rude to you (& this applies in all life situations) WHO CARES?? sticks & stones may break your bones but WORDS CAN NEVER HURT YOU.
I've been around barrel horses for a long time.....you should ALWAYS ask for opinions but know they are just that opinions. Everyone does things differently & at the end of the day you never know when something will help you. I shaved off a 1/2 a second just by taking the advice of someone screaming at me the minute I left the arena.....she's a good friend & let me tell you....i go to her every time i have something i need (along with others) & let her whip me into shape. A lot has to do with your probably very young but learn now to Stop being so sensative, you will get a lot further in life & especially the Barrel horse industy because some aren't so forgiving...they will chew you up & spit you out in a heart beat gotta have tough skin. |
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 Born not Made
Posts: 2931
       Location: North Dakota | I did not see anyone being harsh either. You said "Any help or advice would be much appreciated! ". And you got help and advice.... but you clearly don't appreciate it.
I do see a horse that needs to be taken back a step and fix a few holes in the training.
Being nit-picky is the way you take yourself to the top. I love it when people are nit-picky about my videos. It gives me things to think about and work on. |
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I AM being nice
Posts: 4396
        Location: MD | and it is because of this sort of behavior that so many people with true knowledge and an ability to convey such knowledge in a very straightforward, easy to follow way have given up and stopped being helpful.
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  Warmblood with Wings
Posts: 27846
           Location: Florida.. | WrapSnap - 2015-10-06 2:58 PM and it is because of this sort of behavior that so many people with true knowledge and an ability to convey such knowledge in a very straightforward, easy to follow way have given up and stopped being helpful.
Have to agree with you.. Many want to help critique and help .. but when they do it bites them in butt.. I know when I try to offer advice I type then retype then reword to not sound to harsh but to get a point across.. we all do things differantly.. thats why riders all go to differant clinics and take what works .. when you go to a lesson trainers tell you what your doing wrong.. come on here and your tol what possibly may be wrong.. but alot of the posters then post we are mean.. its ridicolous. you take what you want and leave the rest... trainers or riders take time out to post free advice .. thank them .. |
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 Thread Killer
Posts: 7543
   
| No one was harsh or even nitpicky in your other thread. It's the details that really count. Those little errors we all tend to make cost precious time.
I've seen some pretty savage threads/posts in the past on here. Yours was not one of them. |
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  Fact Checker
Posts: 16572
       Location: Displaced Iowegian | WrapSnap - 2015-10-06 1:58 PM and it is because of this sort of behavior that so many people with true knowledge and an ability to convey such knowledge in a very straightforward, easy to follow way have given up and stopped being helpful.
Isn’t that the truth! I don’t know very many “clinicians”, who charge large amounts to teach a person the basics of barrel racing, and will blow “sunshine & butterflies” up your butt! And to complain about good solid FREE advice makes most wonder why they even try to help anyone! |
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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 582
    Location: Wherever They Send Me | Three 4 Luck - 2015-10-06 10:48 AM
How is "go back to basics" saying you can't ride? That's the FIRST thing a trainer does to fix a problem. Take the horse back to kindergarten, get it fixed away from the pattern, then go to the barrels and add speed. 90% of the time, the dry work fixes the pattern problem. And we as riders all get into bad habits sometimes. Monkey see-monkey do...they're contagious. If you have a good foundation in horsemanship, problems are easy to fix once brought to our attention.
Heres a secret: most pros have someone they trust critique (Nitpick!) them regularly. Because no one is perfect, and a second set of eyes might catch something that was missed. Nitpicking separates winners from also rans.
Agreed!! I moved to a new facility (Alaska to Louisiana) and the barn owner is a dressage trainer. After she watched me ride, turns out Im sitting too far back in my saddle, horse isnt balanced and many more; all of which were impeding my horse's movement. Did I feel like I couldnt ride after that...HECK YES!!! What did I do about it...I went back to basics (I even did a lunge line lesson). I am happy to say my riding has improved, and my horse is more balanced and relaxed. Now we will go back to the pattern and apply what we have learned.
Im sorry you felt like people were picking on you, I dont think the implied tones were intended. |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 507
 Location: Lost in the corn of Iowa. | Oh honey, if you are gonna play with the big kids, you better put on your big girl panties. No one is necessarily rude on here, but most will tell you like it is. No one was rude to you in your last thread. |
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 Expert
Posts: 3782
        Location: Gainesville, TX | I agree with pretty much everyone else. In future I would measure ANY advice by this yardstick:
1) Who gave you the advice? Do they seem reasonable and knowledgeable? If so, then give them the time of day. You may not always agree with them but you should consider what they have to say.
2) Always look at whether the advice is ACTION FOCUSED or PERSON FOCUSED. In this particular instance, every piece of advice was ACTION FOCUSED. Nobody was person focused. They did not attack you personally, call you an idiot, say your horse was a POS, anything like that. So long as the advice is focused on something you did (and thus can fix) and not who you are (something that just makes us feel crummy), then probably you weren't being 'attacked' but 'advised.' Attacks involve insults. Advice doesn't. Attacks tear a person down and are INTENDED TO. Advice builds a person up. Now you can personally choose to be sensitive and see an attack where there wasn't one if you like . . . but that's just you being sensitive. Advice is still advice and attacks are still attacks. Learn the difference and you'll know who to ignore and who to listen to.
3) Your horse, your time, your money. But don't complain if you are given advice, choose not to follow it, and don't improve. Accept responsibility for your choices AND for the advice you take or choose not to take.
4) And for heaven's sake, go in eyes wide open. You are on a discussion board. If you post a video and especially if you ask for advice, you are going to get it!!!! Some of it is crap and some of it is great. Nobody says you have to eat all the Jolly Ranchers. For heaven's sake, eat the green ones and share the red and blue ones with your friends.
:) |
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 I Chore in Chucks
Posts: 2882
        Location: MD | I have gone through your previous thread at least 3 times trying to figure out who was harsh and if it held any bearing.... I can't find a single point in there that wasn't anything but straight forward advice, and none of them were harsh. A lot of people on here have some great advice as long as you are willing to listen. |
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  Shipwrecked and Flat Out Zapped
Posts: 16390
          Location: DUMPING CATS AND PIGS IN TEXAS :) | I love getting nit picked by these people. Peck away you old hens :) |
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 I Prefer to Live in Fantasy Land
Posts: 64864
                    Location: In the Hills of Texas | amandacamarano - 2015-10-07 9:35 AM Three 4 Luck - 2015-10-06 10:48 AM How is "go back to basics" saying you can't ride? That's the FIRST thing a trainer does to fix a problem. Take the horse back to kindergarten, get it fixed away from the pattern, then go to the barrels and add speed. 90% of the time, the dry work fixes the pattern problem. And we as riders all get into bad habits sometimes. Monkey see-monkey do...they're contagious. If you have a good foundation in horsemanship, problems are easy to fix once brought to our attention.
Heres a secret: most pros have someone they trust critique (Nitpick!) them regularly. Because no one is perfect, and a second set of eyes might catch something that was missed. Nitpicking separates winners from also rans. Agreed!! I moved to a new facility (Alaska to Louisiana ) and the barn owner is a dressage trainer. After she watched me ride, turns out Im sitting too far back in my saddle, horse isnt balanced and many more; all of which were impeding my horse's movement. Did I feel like I couldnt ride after that...HECK YES!!! What did I do about it...I went back to basics (I even did a lunge line lesson ). I am happy to say my riding has improved, and my horse is more balanced and relaxed. Now we will go back to the pattern and apply what we have learned. Im sorry you felt like people were picking on you, I dont think the implied tones were intended.
What a culture shock...Alaska to Louisiana! Welcome to the lower 48! Are you handling the heat and humidity? |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 1165
    Location: California | I read and reread as well... While yes some post may make you feel like you can't ride, ask yourself WHY they make you feel like that! Those people can in the end help you the most. I for one can be told nicely a million times to push my mare past the barrel or to sit and forget it every time. You put me in a lesson with someone who is going to scream at me when I don't push or sit, I can guarantee I wont forget for a while! Lol
Life will not sugar coat things, I prefer people to not sugar coat things either. I want blunt and honest even if the truth hurts! |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 628
   Location: Missouri | Sometimes the best advice is the blunt-est, nit pickiest, advice you can get. I grew up riding all disciplines and let me tell you this much, I got my butt chewed on a regular basis! My trainers were not mean, they were honest. The English and Cutting trainers were down right brutal! They would cuss, scream, yell, and pull me off that horse for not riding correctly.
We are in a world now were it seems no one wants to hurt each others feelings, so we sugar coat everything and no one ever learns. Do you think people in the army would listen half as good to someone blowing smoke up their rear? NOPE! Barrel racers are one of the few disciplines were we don't have trainers who haul to shows or fine tune our horses for us. We expect "free" advice and some wonder why they aren't on top. The reason the best trainers have the biggest following, they are honest and know how to push someone to their full potential. You came to everyone asking for honest advice, they gave you, FREE HONEST ADVICE, you want someone to hold your hand, go to a support group. |
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Red Bull Agressive
Posts: 5981
         Location: North Dakota | I read the whole original thread. All the answers you got were well thought out and helpful. Nobody was being harsh or rude, just completely honest. When I was a kid I was intimidated by serious, straightforward trainers. I wanted to be told I was a talented magical pony rider. As I got a little older my outlook did a 180. My latest instructor is much harsher than any answer you got here. My sister is terrified of her. She doesn't give compliments you don't deserve, and if you do something wrong you do it until it's RIGHT. Nit pickingis good. Especially with riding, it is essential to pay attention to every little detail and learn how to fix it. Remember, almost all issues can be contributed to pain or rider error. Everyone on here was helping you identify what you could do better so you can fix it. If you don't like it then don't ask, but nobody has ever gotten better at anything by being told they were doing good enough already.
Edited by cavyrunsbarrels 2015-10-09 11:45 PM
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 678
     Location: Canada | If you want warm and fuzzy ask your best friend. If you want HONEST, unbiased opinions and suggestions ask it here.
You asked for help but what you really wanted was an "atta girl" reply. There was a lot of excellent FREE advice about how to improve your riding and your skills. It doesn't matter if you've been riding one year or 60 years there is always something new to learn, a new way to try things, or a suggestion you've never heard of.
If you want to remain the same and continue doing what you're doing then carry on; however, if you want to help both you and your horse develop your potential then you need to leave your hurt feelings aside and re-read those posts and grab every little piece of advice given and help yourself out.
For the most part you can't read tone in an online forum so adjust how you read the posts and take it as positive instead of assuming everyone is out to get you.
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Veteran
Posts: 129
  Location: Sanderson, TX | Do you want to improve, or do you want to have sunshine and butterflies blown up your skirt? I don't have time right now, but I will post a run later that we analyzed to death...it was a nice run, but there is almost always room for improvement or soundness issues to be noted. |
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Expert
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 I don't pay very good attention!
Posts: 6615
    Location: The line between sanity & insanity in Oklahoma | You asked for help and advice. You were given advice. It might not have been what you were expecting and so you were disappointed. Next time don't ask for advice if you don't really want it.. |
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 How freakish is that?
Posts: 3927
        Location: Oregon | Itsme - 2015-10-10 11:08 AM 
hahahaha |
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  The Original Cyber Bartender
          Location: Washington | Your so a winner in having BHW to even come to. Back in the day many of us shared and many of us won and helped others win. Take a step back and think about how long the masses have been here, and the fact that that many gave you the time of day is a testement to how great BHW is. If you choose to come here, you may also choose to leave...don't address how your questions are answered, be thankful they were addressed.
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 Expert
Posts: 1718
    Location: Southeast Louisiana | Reading this post makes me realize that the barrel horse industry has come such a long way....
Used to be, some people would watch your run, criticize your mistakes, then the people that didn't like you (or whose circle you weren't in) would run with it, criticize you some more, watch your runs so they could see you mess up, then talk about you some more, then a friend would tell you how so-and-so said "this" about you, then you'd cry for like a week, then work on what was wrong, beat your head against the wall because nothing was working, then FINALLY receive some helpful advice because some of the nicer people had been noticing your problems and glad you finally saw it, then you fixed the problem, ran a better time and the process started all over again because someone was mad that YOU beat them (or their kid)...
The process took months. It was exhausting.
Now you can just post on the Internet and the whole thing is much faster.
Lucky girls, count your blessings.
Edited by Nita 2015-10-10 10:58 PM
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 Love Me Some Robert Redford
Posts: 2335
     Location: WV | I didn't feel any of the advice given wash harsh. Seemed like there was a lot of good advice being given out to me. |
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The Resident Destroyer of Liberal Logic
   Location: PNW | Nita - 2015-10-10 8:14 PM
Reading this post makes me realize that the barrel horse industry has come such a long way....
Used to be, some people would watch your run, criticize your mistakes, then the people that didn't like you (or whose circle you weren't in) would run with it, criticize you some more, watch your runs so they could see you mess up, then talk about you some more, then a friend would tell you how so-and-so said "this" about you, then you'd cry for like a week, then work on what was wrong, beat your head against the wall because nothing was working, then FINALLY receive some helpful advice because some of the nicer people had been noticing your problems and glad you finally saw it, then you fixed the problem, ran a better time and the process started all over again because someone was mad that YOU beat them (or their kid)...
The process took months. It was exhausting.
Now you can just post on the Internet and the whole thing is much faster.
Lucky girls, count your blessings.
This. I've probably paid a small fortune in lessons in my life (jumping, not barrel racing) - and I've learned THE MOST from the trainers that are the hardest and meanest (I swear I learned more from two George Morris clinics than from any other experiences in my life).
Be grateful that you can post on a FREE website and get DOZENS of responses from knowledgable horsemen/women for FREE. While the majority of us aren't spectacularly decorated competitors (for a variety of reasons) we are still a large group with a vast range of knowledge. Take what you want from it, leave some other stuff. You'd be surprised at some of the resumes of the people on this site. Just because somebody doesn't preface their reply with a list of their accomplishments doesn't mean they don't know what they're talking about. Just a few months ago MOLLI MONTGOMERY gave somebody advice on here. Andrea Cline is here, Joy Cameron, Jackie Jatzlau has been on a few times - it is incredible how much knowledge is offered on this site.
If you want a pat on the back, ask your non-horsey friends. They usually think it's impressive that we manage to stay on, much less actually complete a pattern. You will always be Charmayne James to them.
If you want to learn and grow and improve as a rider - ask on here. |
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 Underestimated Underdog
Posts: 3971
         Location: Minnesota | Some of the best advice I have ever received has been from the ladies and gentlemen on here. Sometimes its tough to hear the truth but in the end it only helps you and your horse improve. When I first came on here almost 4 years ago( I was 21) I was somewhat like you, I would "ask for advice" and when I would receive it I wouldn't always like what I heard but I tell you what everything they said was accurate and the truth. I set my ego aside and I am a better ride because of the help I have gotten on here. This board is full of great riders and trainers and it would be a shame to miss out on it because you feel they are being "harsh" or "rude". I even video my rides and send them to a BB on here for her to help me. Soak up all the advice you may receive on here, it's well worth it. |
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