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 I hate cooking and cleaning
Posts: 3310
  
Location: Jersey Girl | I have just about lost all my confidence in myself when it comes to running the pattern.
Nothing catastrophic has happened. I got a new horse almost a year and a 1/2 ago, completely different style then what I am used to but I have been doing my best to try and ride him.
I know what I am supposed to be doing but it just doesn't always happen once I get out there.
Suggestions?
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 No Name Nancy
Posts: 2715
Location: never in the right place | no suggestions, but I am in the same boat but I no longer have the horse that shook my confidence, but I just can't get it back. I have been trail riding and avoiding barrels. |
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 Take a Picture
Posts: 12838
 
| Go to a clinic where you get a lot of saddle time. I went to Josey's because it is close. We spent all day riding. I had fun and it really helped. I put on my registration form that I was the one that needed help. Go, listen carefully and learn as much as you can, have fun. This is what helped me. I ride with a magic seat too. That sure is a confidence builder, too. |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 1037
| I am just now gaining confidence to start running again after getting bucked off really bad 2 years ago. I have always been one to just jump on anything and go and now I cannot even fathom getting on a horse I dont know. I bought a head horse in April, pretty much kid gentle thinking he would help and I had a serious anxiety attack on him and he wasnt even doing anything wrong. I have only walked around on him in the round pen since then.
I did find a kid horse that the people didnt want anymore to start running barrels on. He is exactly what I needed and is helping me find my way back to barrels. I am still nervous everytime I step on him, but its getting better.
Find a horse that you are totally comfortable with. Lots of round pen time. I do lots of just walking around the arena just to get that fear of one blowing up out of my mind. I hardly ever even put mine on the pattern at home. Hugs to you. I never thought I would have any fear, but its there and its real. |
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 Serious Snap Trapper
Posts: 4275
Location: In The Snow, AZ | Hubby and I have bought, worked with, and sold quite a few horses over the past few years. I have NEVER had any issue getting on a horse I didn't know or that hadn't been ridden in several years. I actually quite enjoyed it.
Then we bought a gelding named Rugar. He was a dream for 6 months. Then became a rank SOB. Bucked every time i put a leg over him. Reared up and flipped over on me. Finally sold him off. (I just found out that the gal who we bought him from was aware of his tendencies) BUT I am now gun-shy of new horses. I trust my mare completely and have no issue with her at this point. But I just bought a new gelding, and although he is super nice and easy to ride, I still have a flutter in the pit of my stomach saying "don't you remember when..."
I am hoping to attend a clinic in the summer with him, once I get him started on barrels. I was able to attend a Connie Combs clinic this past summer with my mare, and it helped us so much. My mare is typically easily rattled, super high energy and can get scatterbrained if I do too much. But that two day clinic showed me just how far I can push her and still trust her to not get upset. I believe that a clinic would be great for your confidence.
GOOD LUCK! |
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| Only suggestion I have is to remember why you are out there anyway. It should be to have fun, right? Don't put so much pressure on yourself. Make one goal SIMPLE goal each time you run and slowly everything will piece itself back together again. Sometimes we focus too much on making the puzzle come together all at once that we become our own worst enemy. Don't pay attention to the clock, go out and make smooth pretty runs - you don't have to whip and spur all the way! Go a pace you feel is going to break it down for you to figure out your new horse.
I feel for you - I have a mare I purchased as a broodmare, but after she foaled I just had to put her back on barrels because she had a successful futurity year. I had never really rode someone elses finished product before, so it took a lot of getting used to. I quit trying to ride her the way I'm used to riding the rest - it took some time but we have climbed from the 3D times last winter/spring to recent 1D times this fall. That's almost an entire year - but it was so worth it.
Another tidbit of advice: when you practice/are doing slow work, make sure you are carrying out the same motions EACH and EVERY time you go through the pattern. Repetition, repetition....keep your horses feet in the same spot, keep your body position in the same spot.
Edited by WrapN3MN 2015-11-17 9:13 AM
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 Experienced Mouse Trapper
Posts: 3106
Location: North Dakota | I agree with Wrapn3! Set one goal each run. But I want to add, that when you've been in this game for awhile we think we do everything the way we used to. Others have suggested riding in a clinic which is good, but I've found riding with a friend-especially one that knows how I "used" to ride and that is super attentive to details that I'm usually not has really helped me a lot. For example-I struggled with saddle fit for me this early summer, a gentle reminder from a friend to hold the horn-hunker down in the saddle and spur with the inside foot made a lot of difference. I also want to add that if you're not feeling too comfortable in your saddle-try something else-it really does make a difference in confidence-watch your video's are you flopping around at all?? If so, try riding in someone else's rig if they will let you-you may discover that your saddle is your own worst enemy. |
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I hate cooking and cleaning
Posts: 3310
Location: Jersey Girl | WrapN3MN - 2015-11-17 10:05 AM Only suggestion I have is to remember why you are out there anyway. It should be to have fun, right? Don't put so much pressure on yourself. Make one goal SIMPLE goal each time you run and slowly everything will piece itself back together again. Sometimes we focus too much on making the puzzle come together all at once that we become our own worst enemy. Don't pay attention to the clock, go out and make smooth pretty runs - you don't have to whip and spur all the way! Go a pace you feel is going to break it down for you to figure out your new horse. I feel for you - I have a mare I purchased as a broodmare, but after she foaled I just had to put her back on barrels because she had a successful futurity year. I had never really rode someone elses finished product before, so it took a lot of getting used to. I quit trying to ride her the way I'm used to riding the rest - it took some time but we have climbed from the 3D times last winter/spring to recent 1D times this fall. That's almost an entire year - but it was so worth it. Another tidbit of advice: when you practice/are doing slow work, make sure you are carrying out the same motions EACH and EVERY time you go through the pattern. Repetition, repetition....keep your horses feet in the same spot, keep your body position in the same spot.
Thank you! I understand the waiting but I feel like after having this horse for a year and a 1/2 I should be out of the 4D by now. It has been a tough year, this summer I was ready to give up on trying to get with this horse. Going thru the buying process did not appeal to me AT ALL, so I decided to cowgirl up, figure it out and make it work. Afterall my horse is sane, sound and young! |
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I hate cooking and cleaning
Posts: 3310
Location: Jersey Girl | LMS - 2015-11-17 11:15 AM I agree with Wrapn3! Set one goal each run. But I want to add, that when you've been in this game for awhile we think we do everything the way we used to. Others have suggested riding in a clinic which is good, but I've found riding with a friend-especially one that knows how I "used" to ride and that is super attentive to details that I'm usually not has really helped me a lot. For example-I struggled with saddle fit for me this early summer, a gentle reminder from a friend to hold the horn-hunker down in the saddle and spur with the inside foot made a lot of difference. I also want to add that if you're not feeling too comfortable in your saddle-try something else-it really does make a difference in confidence-watch your video's are you flopping around at all?? If so, try riding in someone else's rig if they will let you-you may discover that your saddle is your own worst enemy.
That is so true about not riding how we used to. I think thats part of the problem (I am 49, riding my whole life).
Funny you mentioned about the saddle. I have been having saddle fit issues with this horse and also thinking I need to move to a bigger seat size. Going to the first I do not feel secure but I am ok at the second and third (weird I know). |
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I hate cooking and cleaning
Posts: 3310
Location: Jersey Girl | streakysox - 2015-11-17 8:45 AM Go to a clinic where you get a lot of saddle time. I went to Josey's because it is close. We spent all day riding. I had fun and it really helped. I put on my registration form that I was the one that needed help. Go, listen carefully and learn as much as you can, have fun. This is what helped me. I ride with a magic seat too. That sure is a confidence builder, too.
I am going to try and go to one in the spring. Limited choices tho, either Josey or Camarillo. |
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 Balance Beam and more...
Posts: 11493
Location: 31 lengths farms | fulltiltfilly - 2015-11-18 11:45 AM
WrapN3MN - 2015-11-17 10:05 AM Only suggestion I have is to remember why you are out there anyway. It should be to have fun, right? Don't put so much pressure on yourself. Make one goal SIMPLE goal each time you run and slowly everything will piece itself back together again. Sometimes we focus too much on making the puzzle come together all at once that we become our own worst enemy. Don't pay attention to the clock, go out and make smooth pretty runs - you don't have to whip and spur all the way! Go a pace you feel is going to break it down for you to figure out your new horse. I feel for you - I have a mare I purchased as a broodmare, but after she foaled I just had to put her back on barrels because she had a successful futurity year. I had never really rode someone elses finished product before, so it took a lot of getting used to. I quit trying to ride her the way I'm used to riding the rest - it took some time but we have climbed from the 3D times last winter/spring to recent 1D times this fall. That's almost an entire year - but it was so worth it. Another tidbit of advice: when you practice/are doing slow work, make sure you are carrying out the same motions EACH and EVERY time you go through the pattern. Repetition, repetition....keep your horses feet in the same spot, keep your body position in the same spot.
Thank you! I understand the waiting but I feel like after having this horse for a year and a 1/2 I should be out of the 4D by now. It has been a tough year, this summer I was ready to give up on trying to get with this horse. Going thru the buying process did not appeal to me AT ALL, so I decided to cowgirl up, figure it out and make it work. Afterall my horse is sane, sound and young!
I've been out of and back into the 4D so many times on my little mare CC I have Vertigo from it. Yes I want to show the world what this little horse is made of but after being handed the lead rope and being told to take her home and put her down when the pain from the kidney stones she has got too bad even getting to run becomes a Win. It took a lot of good vets and Guardian Angels and God watching over us to get her back into the 4D. Don 't let someone else's measurement of "success" measure yours. I know it is hard to work and ride and do all the extra's trying to get to that next level but remember, there is always another level to reach so dont' get bogged down by just THAT one....  |
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 I Prefer to Live in Fantasy Land
Posts: 64864
Location: In the Hills of Texas | I know you won't want to hear this but your lack of confidence is probably caused from not feeling comfortable with your current horse. Most people get anxious running when they don't know what to expect or just isn't comfortable with the horse they have. If you really want to do this and have fun again...Go find a horse that fits you. |
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  Friendly horse swapper
Posts: 4122
Location: Buffalo, TX | Nevertooold - 2015-11-17 2:03 PM I know you won't want to hear this but your lack of confidence is probably caused from not feeling comfortable with your current horse. Most people get anxious running when they don't know what to expect or just isn't comfortable with the horse they have. If you really want to do this and have fun again...Go find a horse that fits you.
I'm glad I decided to read the replies before I posted because I was going to say this exact same thing....bite the bullet, cut your losses and see if you can maybe trade with someone for a horse you like and they don't.....I've done a lot of swapping over the years and in every case, both parties were happier. Nothing can shake your confidence more than a horse that you struggle with to make things happen correctly...it should be easy and fun... |
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Expert
Posts: 1255
| Same thing happened to me I lost confidence Whe a horse reared up and over on me.now I rescued a horse that was a 35,000 barrel horse and I haven't ran him yet just trail ride. |
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 Expert
Posts: 1611
Location: bring on the heat, NV | Nevertooold - 2015-11-17 12:03 PM I know you won't want to hear this but your lack of confidence is probably caused from not feeling comfortable with your current horse. Most people get anxious running when they don't know what to expect or just isn't comfortable with the horse they have. If you really want to do this and have fun again...Go find a horse that fits you.
This is my trouble... Ive definitely come to realize im much happier on a "push style" horse than my "needs a job busy minded likes to go fast" im just not sure I have the big girl panties to sell mine cause I like her otherwise... but it makes me a kinda anxious riding her not all the time but enough its not really "fun". |
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I hate cooking and cleaning
Posts: 3310
Location: Jersey Girl | Cindy Hamilton - 2015-11-17 3:13 PM Nevertooold - 2015-11-17 2:03 PM I know you won't want to hear this but your lack of confidence is probably caused from not feeling comfortable with your current horse. Most people get anxious running when they don't know what to expect or just isn't comfortable with the horse they have. If you really want to do this and have fun again...Go find a horse that fits you. I'm glad I decided to read the replies before I posted because I was going to say this exact same thing....bite the bullet, cut your losses and see if you can maybe trade with someone for a horse you like and they don't.....I've done a lot of swapping over the years and in every case, both parties were happier. Nothing can shake your confidence more than a horse that you struggle with to make things happen correctly...it should be easy and fun...
I don't necessarily disagree with this. I just loathe the entire process of finding another horse. Esp since I have been burnt a couple of times.... |
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I Prefer to Live in Fantasy Land
Posts: 64864
Location: In the Hills of Texas | fulltiltfilly - 2015-11-17 8:24 PM Cindy Hamilton - 2015-11-17 3:13 PM Nevertooold - 2015-11-17 2:03 PM I know you won't want to hear this but your lack of confidence is probably caused from not feeling comfortable with your current horse. Most people get anxious running when they don't know what to expect or just isn't comfortable with the horse they have. If you really want to do this and have fun again...Go find a horse that fits you. I'm glad I decided to read the replies before I posted because I was going to say this exact same thing....bite the bullet, cut your losses and see if you can maybe trade with someone for a horse you like and they don't.....I've done a lot of swapping over the years and in every case, both parties were happier. Nothing can shake your confidence more than a horse that you struggle with to make things happen correctly...it should be easy and fun...
I understand that. You need to find someone you respect and trust to help you. Life is too short not to have what will be fun to run unless you are happy and content not running barrels. I'm talking from experience and I could kick myself still today for wasting over 2 years of my life on a horse that was a lot of fun to ride but was a nightmare for me to run. I finally decided running was more important to me then having a horse that was fun to ride. I got to the point where I was making excuses not to go to a barrel race. |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 512
| I was injured also and I totally understand!!
My husband and I purchased a really safe trail horse that did wonders for me. We currently bought back my old barrel horse and I feel like we are making leaps and bounds.
My best advice would be to go buy a horse you feel comfortable riding. Even the local 4D solid kids horse. They can do wonders for your confidence.
I also recently attended a Kristin Weaver-Brown clinic and it was amazing!
Best of luck to you. YOU CAN DO IT! |
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 Expert
Posts: 2013
Location: Piedmont, OK | Prayer and lots of it! |
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| I think many deal with low confidence at one time or another. I know I did after having kids and a couple of pretty good wrecks.
I can honestly say the only thing that has helped me was to simply ride more. The more hours you spend in the saddle the more comfortable you will become again. But it does not all have to be barrels! Go to the roping pen or go sort cows. Go take some English lessons. Practice some dressage patterns with your horse. Anything you can think of to do, try it. When you start challenging yourself and your horse in different ways you will find that going around 3 barrels isn’t really as hard as we make it out to be.
Edited by LAC 2015-11-18 1:22 PM
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Expert
Posts: 1611
Location: bring on the heat, NV | mmm clinics and maybe take a break..... go to some play days and try to not pressure yourself. go as slow as you need too. |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 602
| Breeze your horse. Sometimes we focus too much on slow work and forget what fast feels like. Also, if you don't have an arena at home, go practice somewhere that has one. Practicing in open space then competing in an arena makes a difference. You will naturally safety up. |
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 Veteran
Posts: 189
| Perhaps it is not the horse for you?
Sometimes hard to do, but life is to short to spend time (i wasted 7 years) trying to get with a horse. I finally sold him and found one that fit me and i do not have any regrets! She made it fun again.. and magically.. my confidence came back too.
Edited by RunfastNTurn 2015-11-19 1:55 PM
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 Georgia Peach
Posts: 8338
Location: Georgia |
I have been dealing with this as well, so I understand what you are going through. I have been riding the same horse for over 3 years and I love her. However, her running style is very independent and I have a riding style of trying to help too much - so we clash sometimes. I find myself overthinking what I'm doing in the saddle which has killed my confidence over the years. I went through two finished horses with bad habits before I purchased her and picked up some bad habits of my own. Luckily, she is very tolerant of me and my silly riding skills but our times do reflect. She could easily be a 1D horse but we typically fall middle of the 2D or top of the 3D. But I will say that here recently I have finally just started trusting her and staying out of her way. I can't tell you what these past 3 or 4 runs have done for me. It's hard to explain but I feel hopeful that one day we may sneak back up into the 1D or at least top of the 2D.
I will also say that I run a finished 3D mare from my teen years. She is about to be 18 and I'm 24. I've been riding her since she was 7. She is solid solid solid and it's the same trip every time. Jumping on her and making some solid 3D runs helps boost me up and just feels good knowing I can still jockey a dang horse! Lol so if you have access to a horse like that, maybe take that route for a while. Good luck!
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Getting Your Confidence Back....