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Location: Gainesville, TX | I suppose I'm not the only person who has laid awake on a New Year's day morning and wondered what opportunities and challenges the upcoming year may present. I have had a particularly good reason for wakefulness this morning too as my husband and I are expecting a little girl in the next month or so, and she will undoubtedly shape the rest of our future. So as I think about the new year, I think about what is one of the most important lessons I wish to teach my new daughter, a lesson that is NOT the kind of thing people say often but that I think is important for people.
What 'new message' do I have for this new year and this new life: BE BETTER THAN SOMEONE ELSE.
I'm sure some of you read that and went, "Whoa, wait a minute. Isn't that the sort of message that only privileges competition? Isn't that the sort of message that encourages arrogance? Isn't that the sort of message that creates divisions between people?"
I am going to tell you that I have a VASTLY DIFFERENT view on what constitutes TRUE HUMILITY and what God may have intended for us when he ordered us to avoid pride and embrace that humility.
So let me explain . . .
First of all, I am a person that frequently gets accused of arrogance. I constantly get accused of thinking 'I am better than everybody else.' I will not hide this fact not will I pretend to be something I am not. I believe this accusation frequently gets applied to me because the majority of society has developed a definition of what they consider humility that has to do with being entirely self-effacing and self-denying, the more extreme the better. If someone says they are not good at something or will not put themselves forward at all, well then that must make them humble. Anyone who acknowledges their gifts or skills openly must then be arrogant. As I am also a teacher, I see this frequently in the classroom. "I'm no good at this writing stuff." I hear this even from students who will go on to make all As in my class and may even have made excellent grades before. Trust me, I hear a gutful of what I consider FALSE HUMILITY day in and day out. In fact, I would go so far as to say that a number of people will actually artfully deny themselves and their abilities just to have other people praise them more. To me it can even seem like someone is digging for flattery and praise, which is not humble at all.
So let me present a radically different view on this and see if I can convince you to reconsider your definition of humility and of 'being better than someone else.' First of all, let me just say, I am better than a number of people. A number of you went, "whoa, now I see why people call her arrogant." Ah, but let me finish my statement. I am better than a number of people at what many people will call 'book smarts.' I'm smart, no ifs, ands, or buts about it. Grades I have made throughout my life, IQ tests, general conversation--if you are around me for long, you'll probably come to the same conclusion. And I came to that conclusion a long time ago. I used to try to hide it, to be 'humble' about it until I realized something that is very very important. I am better than a number of people at being smart BECAUSE GOD MADE ME THAT WAY.
So what is so important about that distinction? When we acknowledge those beautiful gifts that God has given us we also acknowledge him and his power in our lives. If I told you I wasn't smart, I WOULD BE INSULTING GOD. I WOULD BE SAYING THAT AS GOD'S CREATION I AM NOT EVERYTHING HE CREATED ME TO BE. God made me smart and he did so for a reason. He wanted me to serve others. I cannot tell you how many people I see with amazing gifts that God has given them who will not use those gifts in service of others like he meant for them to do. I see other people with amazing book smarts who will not do everything in their power to make excellent grades and come up with new theories and do research. They do what they have to do get by. After I acknowledged the gift God had given me, it became paramount to me that I not squander it, that I not essentially tell God, "I don't care what you have given me I'm going to do my own thing." I worked my butt off in school. I used every iota of smarts he gave me to go above and beyond. And what have I done with that gift? I became a teacher. I try and turn that gift into inspired students and teaching them new skills. I apply myself constantly to coming up with new ways to present information so they understand it easier. I also want them to embrace their own gifts, to believe in themselves. God gave us this message in the parable of the talents, for those servants who increased their talents were praised and that one who buried his had it taken away and given to the first servant who doubled his.
So yes, it's okay to be better than someone else at something because chances are pretty high they are better than you at something too. Trust me, there are mother elephants giving birth who have better singing voices than I have. I know the strengths God has given me; I know what weaknesses I have too. God gives each person a variety of abilities so we can accomplish different things in His name in this world. By acknowledging our strengths and gifts, and our weaknesses too, we can work not only to help others but to become better people.
So the next time you are at church, if you know you have the skill necessary to design the new poster for Vacation Bible School or if you know you are a good organizer and would be a great person to direct a fundraiser, then speak up, volunteer. Say "Hey, I can do that! I'm even good at it!" And then do it to the very best of your ability. Give it all you've got. Glorify God and acknowledge that gift he has given you. Develop it. Don't just let it be a latent talent. Turn it into a full blown skill.
And if someone calls you arrogant for using your gifts to try and make the world a better place, turn to them and say, "If you've got a problem with it, take it up with God. He gave me the gift and I'm using it." And encourage others who struggle with their self esteem to discover their own gifts. Not everyone is always aware of what amazing gift God has given them. I even know that one of the most amazing gifts I have seen was held by a young woman with Down Syndrome. I have never in my life seen a soul who could make other people laugh and be happy like that young woman. Her smile was her gift.
So go be better than someone else. Remember that believing in yourself is actually believing in God and his amazing power!
Happy New Year! |
A new message for a new year . . .