WrapSnap - 2016-01-07 11:28 PM

All of the tips and suggestions that anyone could give you with regard to how to work through this issue with your mare would be absolutely moot until you change your attitude toward her and her issues. Impatience, anger and a lack of empathy will simply not allow you to apply any of advice you are given in a productive manner. Have you ever tried to understand why your mare seemingly becomes so upset and insecure?

FLITASTIC - 2016-01-08 6:07 AM


I read your post and saw nothing in my opinion that conveyed you had a bad attitude. Your frustrated. I totally get that. Horses are animals. They need to learn what their JOB is and what our expectations are of them. If they are pitching a fit like a small child they need to learn what behavior is acceptable and not. Once you have of course ruled out a pain or nutrition issue then it's a learned behavior and it needs to be unlearned. Sometimes that takes hours and wet saddle pads just like you mentioned. I teach high school. If I have a student pitch a fit and flip me off I could care less why they did it , and that behavior will be corrected immediately. Animals are no different. I bought a gelding that would reach over and bite you if you were paying attention to another horse. Previous owner thought it was cute and playful. Me not so much. He also learned rather quickly what my expectations of him were. Lol

pepsi97 - 2016-01-08 7:26 AM Thank you. When I wrote this I was very upset. She's been working so good and then yesterday she just acted like she couldn't calm down. I tried getting her mind on other things and working her threw it, but she just couldn't think straight. She's never been a deadhead and always up and ready to go, but yesterday just got scary for me. She thinks its okay to act like this, but its not and when she gets that way, I just don't know how to calm her down.

WrapSnap - 2016-01-08 1:28 AM All of the tips and suggestions that anyone could give you with regard to how to work through this issue with your mare would be absolutely moot until you change your attitude toward her and her issues. Impatience, anger and a lack of empathy will simply not allow you to apply any of advice you are given in a productive manner. Have you ever tried to understand why your mare seemingly becomes so upset and insecure?

barrelracr131 - 2016-01-08 8:28 AM


IME, buddy issues are typically a fear issue. Horses are herd animals. Herd instinct keeps them alive... horses that stray from others are more likely to be the ones eaten first. The comparison of this particular issue to a child throwing a tantrum may not be a good fit, as children throw these fits out of anger, not fear. The horse is not trying to irritate you, the horse (in their mind) is trying to stay alive.  If you are scared, you are adding more fear to the situation. We all know horses can feel fear from a rider. If you want to help this issue, you need to find a way to stay calm. This may just be a quirk she has, and will always have, to some degree. However, by staying calm and steady, and slowly working on this issue, you can improve her behavior. 

I think something that might help is to ride with a buddy, have them ride away a bit (within sight) on and off. Do this until she calms down some. You may have to do this frequently. As she gets better, lengthen the distance between you and the other horses. Take it slow knowing that this will take time to fix... sometimes, a lot of time. Something like this is not fixed in a ride or two. Patience is key. When you correct her, correct quickly and move on. Dwelling on it or adding emotion to the situation will just upset her more. 

I know sometimes it is frustrating when a horse backslides, but remember that horses are flight animals. They are inherently reactive. There are times when horses will cheat people, but I think this happens less than people thing. Horses take the path of least resistance. In most cases, they do not cause problems to simply "be a jerk" or upset the rider. Their reasons for acting up are typically pain or fear, or both. There are definitely some counterfeit ones out there, but it doesn't sound like your mare is one of them.

BabyJ - 2016-01-08 8:50 AM In keeping with the theme of making the right thing easy and the wrong thing hard...she has to work her rear off when she is with her buddy. Move, move move and then take her away from her buddy and let her rest. That will reinforce many issues she is struggling with. It is very frustrating but hang in there.

pepsi97 - 2016-01-08 1:57 AM

I have patience with my horse and if we have issues try to work through them. I don't start beating on her or anything like that. Have you never had a horse that when another horse leaves, throws a fit? Like I said, she's great if its just us riding by ourselves in the pasture or down the road and usually okay on trail rides but tonight was completely different. All she wanted to do was run and throw fits when she had to leave the other horse. When hauled with other horses she acts the same. And yes, I do try to understand her when she acts like this.

WrapSnap - 2016-01-09 4:58 AM


To answer your question, yes, I have dealt with many horses that have exhibited the sorts of behaviors that you described. I train horses for a living and seem to have an affinity for rehabbing the ones that have all sorts of man made and psychological issues. I have an extremely short fuse, am not a patient person by nature and can be highly emotional. I have spent my entire life learning to control those things when it comes to my interaction with horses. The better I became at doing so, the better equipped I was at being able to help the horses work through their own issues. When I see you say things such as that your mare "really ****ed me off", or referring to her as "stupid", I see nothing other than a largely emotional reaction to your mare's behavior. Obviously, the feelings that you typed were even well after you had been in the situation, which should have given you time to step back, take a breath and compose yourself. If your emotions were still that high while typing that much later, I can only imagine the sort of energies that you were transferring to your horse in the moment.

pepsi97 - 2016-01-08 12:19 AM

So I've hauled my mare to a few barrel races this past month and though I didn't let her run, she did great. Had beautiful turns and really wanted to work. Now it was the first time in years we had ran so I'm slowing easing back in it. A little faster everytime. I've been so proud that she's been so calm when she is usually a nervous wreck with other horses running around.
Now that I bragged a little bit, I'm just gonna say she really p!ssed me off tonight. I decided to go ride with a friend to work some cows at her place. My mare was awful! Pranced the whole time, even just walking in the woods, through a huge fit anytime she had to leave the other horse, wanting to run and crowhopped a few times, then lost her mind when she couldn't see other horse. So as proud I have been of her, tonight really set me back. She just couldn't calm down and I absolutely hate riding her when she's like that. I'm thinking some really wet saddle pads and long rides by herself. My thing is she does good by herself but if there's another horse with her, she absolutely looses her mind if she has to leave them. She's fine at the house but in a different pasture or hauled with others, its like she acts a fool if she has to ride off without them. I've done the whole make her work around them, let her rest away, but it doesn't seem to help. Any other ideas? Tonight she really pushed my buttons and its not fun riding in the pasture when your horse decides to act like a idiot. I would really appreciate suggestions to try with her when she gets stupid like this. Thanks guys.

cheryl makofka - 2016-01-10 2:00 PM Just to build on what people have said. Wet saddle blankets only works if the person who is riding/training knows why wet saddle blankets are needed, and what that riding should entail. I had one mare when I first got her, she was so buddy sour, I would ride her out in the back forty let her go her own speed after she was warmed up, sadly this was 90. To cool her out, I would get off of her in different places in the back forty and walk the entire way home. Sadly sometimes this was a 2 mile walk. This taught her I decided when she was done, not a specific spot. After a month, she quit looking for home, she relaxed and would listen. As some have said you make the comfortable thing hard, and the problem area easy. You do need to pick your battles. You need to be mentally prepared for it to go sideways, and already have a plan on how to get the situation back under control. I do one rein circles when my horses are having a melt down. I do circles both ways. If you can go ride with an old horseman, rancher for a few days, get tips from them, as it sounds like you are out of your element.

BabyJ - 2016-01-08 8:50 AM In keeping with the theme of making the right thing easy and the wrong thing hard...she has to work her rear off when she is with her buddy. Move, move move and then take her away from her buddy and let her rest. That will reinforce many issues she is struggling with. It is very frustrating but hang in there.

cheryl makofka - 2016-01-10 1:00 PM

Just to build on what people have said.

Wet saddle blankets only works if the person who is riding/training knows why wet saddle blankets are needed, and what that riding should entail.

I had one mare when I first got her, she was so buddy sour, I would ride her out in the back forty let her go her own speed after she was warmed up, sadly this was 90. To cool her out, I would get off of her in different places in the back forty and walk the entire way home. Sadly sometimes this was a 2 mile walk. This taught her I decided when she was done, not a specific spot. After a month, she quit looking for home, she relaxed and would listen.

As some have said you make the comfortable thing hard, and the problem area easy. You do need to pick your battles. You need to be mentally prepared for it to go sideways, and already have a plan on how to get the situation back under control. I do one rein circles when my horses are having a melt down. I do circles both ways.

If you can go ride with an old horseman, rancher for a few days, get tips from them, as it sounds like you are out of your element.