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 My Heart Be Happy
Posts: 9159
   
Location: Arkansas | I feel selfish cause it seems like I'm always asking y'all to pray for things happening in my life. . . .So I didn't come on here this week asking for prayers when maybe I should have. But I have a miracle to give God credit for and I wanted to shout it out loud. And that's when I knew to come here and give Him the glory.
My ex husband is an alcoholic. A very bad one. He ended up in the hospital this week with NO liver function whatsoever---the doctor said his liver was completely shriveled up. (He's drank HARD for many years.) There is no way to convey to y'all how bad he looked; simply put he looked like a dead man. He was so yellow he glowed. Even his eyes were yellow. His bilirubin was unreal and they drained 20 pounds of ammonia off him Wednesday after they had the family talk to Chris about a DNR---which he did sign. Chandler is our only son, and he has been there everyday with Chris helping do things no 17 year old boy should have to do for his father. And seeing him in a shape no one should see another human in. Yesterday Chris was wild eyed and I promise I thought no one was home anymore. He wasn't as swollen or yellow but he looked even worse. I almost started to tell Chandler to get prepared for the worst.
This morning the doctor came in and said he was taking IV out and when Chris can walk unaided he can leave the hospital. Doctor had told the family the second morning it would take a miracle---and that's what he proclaimed it this morning  He told them he's never seen such high liver levels and the person live. And that he really hadn't expected him to make it through.
Prayers work and God is good. Chris has a long way to go but He gave him another chance and I feel like surely there's a reason for that. My son still has his father and I am so so thankful for that. Sorry for the book but my heart is so full right now and I knew some of my buddies on here would understand that. . .
Edited by Chandler's Mom 2016-03-07 10:33 PM
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Go Get Em!
Posts: 13503
 
Location: OH. IO | Love it!!!! I lost my brother at 41 years old to alcoholism. I pray Chandlers father will realize how lucky he is.  |
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My Heart Be Happy
Posts: 9159
Location: Arkansas | Again, I knew you'd get it!!!! Chris is 44. I have always told Chandler don't start drinking or smoking and then you don't ever have to try to stop. Same with pills or street drugs. Today's world scares me to death
Did your brother have a family, kids? I don't get how Chris doesn't see what he's doing to his son, and that he has something to live for. . . But I realize that he and I don't look at the world thru the same eyes either.
Thanks for your never-ending support Jake! |
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Go Get Em!
Posts: 13503
Location: OH. IO | my brother had three children.He was a horrible father as hard as that is to say,its the truth. I got custody of his youngest and raised him as my own.It was difficult for my whole family.He could never give up alcohol over his own family.Our story has so many twists and turns and some absolutly horrific events,I will never forget it.Always here for you my friend. |
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 Shelter Dog Lover
Posts: 10277
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My Heart Be Happy
Posts: 9159
Location: Arkansas |
That is so sad, but thank God the kids had someone to turn to. My daddy is more of a daddy to Chandler than Chris, which is why I say Chris is a father. To me there is a big difference between a daddy and a father. Maybe if he can get sober things will change. . .
So much of your situation sounds familiar.
Edited by Chandler's Mom 2016-03-05 7:06 PM
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 Take a Picture
Posts: 12841
| So glad he is OK. Maybe in that miracle he will stop drinking or at least get help. |
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 Namesless in BHW
Posts: 10368
Location: At the race track with Ah Dee Ohs | We are always here. Praise God he is going to be OK. Maybe this will be a wake up call for him. Prayers he continues to improve ànd hugs to you and Chandler. |
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My Heart Be Happy
Posts: 9159
Location: Arkansas | My barrel horse buddies----y'all make me feel warm and fuzzy. . . . And not alone |
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 A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | Prayers that he stays on the right track, hes got to want this as much as anyone else to stay healthy, God cant do it all. I grew up with alcoholism on both sides of my family and its not pretty, my grandfathers on both sides died of alcoholism and my dads older and younger bother died this way, they stop for a few weeks and then start up all over again. The younger bother had kids but his wife left him with the kids at a really young age and he never ever saw them again, they went into hiding he was a mean drunk. When he died they didnt even come to him funeral was so sad. They didnt know their dad at all. Drinking won out over everything he had in life. |
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  Keeper of the King Snake
Posts: 7622
Location: Dubach, LA | So happy that he has a chance to change. I'm watching my son do this to himself. Absolutely nothing or no one can help. Praying for you and yours right now. |
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Go Get Em!
Posts: 13503
Location: OH. IO | CanCan - 2016-03-06 10:33 AM So happy that he has a chance to change. I'm watching my son do this to himself. Absolutely nothing or no one can help. Praying for you and yours right now.
Im sorry you have to go through this.It is absolutly heartbreaking to watch.Prayers to you and many hugs too |
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A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | Prayers for Chandler to stay strong threw all this |
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 Total Germophobe
Posts: 6443
Location: Montana | I do believe in miracles, and your family is one. I'm glad for you and your son, and prayers for continued healing. |
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 Expert
Posts: 3782
Location: Gainesville, TX | I truly pray he may see this as a second chance too. |
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Common Sense and then some
Location: So. California | I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. May I suggest you have your son talk to someone about his feelings. A pastor, councelor or take him to an Alateen meeting. Alcoholism is a family disease, it adversely effects all members of the family unit. Talking to someone who can help your son deal with his feelings, and understand that no human power can stop his father from drinking, only he can with God's help. I pray that you both find the peace you seek.
Adding your family in my prayers. |
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My Heart Be Happy
Posts: 9159
Location: Arkansas | Chris has taken a turn for the worse. The doctor said they are going to move him to the nursing home tomorrow because they've done all they can. . . . Chandler is having a hard time so I beg of y'all to pray for my baby----he needs uplifting by God's mighty grace. As I stood by Chris' bed today watching him sleep I thought about the last time the three of us were in a hospital together, and it was when Chandler was born 18 years ago on March 13. To think he's 44 and dying is breaking my heart, not only for him but for Chandler. |
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Expert
Posts: 1586
Location: west of East Texas | So sorry for your family. Many prayers for you all. |
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Go Get Em!
Posts: 13503
Location: OH. IO | Oh im so sorry for all of you.my prayers for all three of you.Poor Chandler.please let him know he is in my thoughts and prayers. |
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Expert
Posts: 5321
Location: Texas | |
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Industrial Srength Barrel Racer
Posts: 7268
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Shelter Dog Lover
Posts: 10277
| Oh, I am so sorry to hear this. Prayers, such a difficult and painful situation for all involved but especially your son. My husband was 22 when he lost his alcoholic father to a stroke. Hugs and prayers for strength for Chandler. |
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 Expert
Posts: 1304
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 Accident Prone
Posts: 22277
Location: 100 miles from Nowhere, AR | Praying for all of you. |
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 Bulls Eye
Posts: 6443
Location: Oklahoma | many prayers for you, your family, and most of all Chandler. It's not easy watching someone we once loved do this to themselves. My ex is an alcoholic and I pray my daughter will never have to go through this. |
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A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | Oh nooo, I am sorry to hear this. Chandler needs lots of support, so sending him lots of prayers and hugs |
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Namesless in BHW
Posts: 10368
Location: At the race track with Ah Dee Ohs | Oh, I am so sorry to hear this. Many prayers for Chandler and you my friend. May god wrap his arms around both of you for comfort in this difficult time. |
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 Undercover Amish Mafia Member
Posts: 9992
Location: Kansas | Praying for you |
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 Whack and Roll
Posts: 6342
Location: NE Texas | Many prayers for you, your son, and for your ex husband. |
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 Popped
Posts: 20421
Location: LuluLand~along I64 Indiana | prayers for chandler, chandlers mom and for Chris. |
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 Balance Beam and more...
Posts: 11511
Location: 31 lengths farms | I hope and pray that Chris see's this as a second chance, to get to spend some more years with his boy, to watch him maybe one day walk down the aisle, to hold grand babies etc. Praise God ! |
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A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | Chandler's Mom - 2016-03-07 10:28 PM Chris has taken a turn for the worse. The doctor said they are going to move him to the nursing home tomorrow because they've done all they can. . . . Chandler is having a hard time so I beg of y'all to pray for my baby----he needs uplifting by God's mighty grace. As I stood by Chris' bed today watching him sleep I thought about the last time the three of us were in a hospital together, and it was when Chandler was born 18 years ago on March 13. To think he's 44 and dying is breaking my heart, not only for him but for Chandler.
More prayers being sent to Chris & family.. |
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A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | run n rate - 2016-03-08 12:20 PM I hope and pray that Chris see's this as a second chance, to get to spend some more years with his boy, to watch him maybe one day walk down the aisle, to hold grand babies etc. Praise God !
I bumped the update up for you. |
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 Looking for Lady Jockey
Posts: 3747
Location: Rodeos or Baseball games | Prayers |
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Balance Beam and more...
Posts: 11511
Location: 31 lengths farms | Hopefully this has given Chris and Chandler some time to talk about things in life that they otherwise might not have...maybe that is the real miracle in all of this. And because of those talks Chandler will be able to make better decisions for himself and his family as he gets older. Hugs to you Chandler's Mom, tells a lot about what type of person you are to ask for prayers for your ex, so often parents over look they fact that those ex's are still a part of your children's DNA. |
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Go Get Em!
Posts: 13503
Location: OH. IO | Sending continued prayers tonight. |
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Go Get Em!
Posts: 13503
Location: OH. IO | Hows your family holdin up? Thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers |
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 Georgia Peach
Posts: 8338
Location: Georgia |
I'm so sorry. Keeping both you and Chandler in my thoughts. 17 is hard enough without having to lose a parent. I pray he comes out of this. Remember the title of this thread. Miracles do happen! |
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Namesless in BHW
Posts: 10368
Location: At the race track with Ah Dee Ohs | Thinking of you and Chandler this morning. Continued prayers for all of you. |
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Go Get Em!
Posts: 13503
Location: OH. IO | Thinking of all of you today.continued prayers. |
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Namesless in BHW
Posts: 10368
Location: At the race track with Ah Dee Ohs | Keeping you and Chandler in my thoughts and prayers. |
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Total Germophobe
Posts: 6443
Location: Montana | More prayers. |
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My Heart Be Happy
Posts: 9159
Location: Arkansas | TwistedK - 2016-03-08 7:16 AM
many prayers for you, your family, and most of all Chandler. It's not easy watching someone we once loved do this to themselves. My ex is an alcoholic and I pray my daughter will never have to go through this.
I hope your daughter never does either---no one should have to see this and bear the knowledge their parent died this way. . . |
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My Heart Be Happy
Posts: 9159
Location: Arkansas | His blood pressure continues to drop and the hospice nurse told his dad that she thinks his body has started shutting down. My greatest fear is possibly coming true, and I don't know if I'm equipped to handle what I need to do to be strong for my baby. He'll turn 18 Sunday, and I can't believe that this is happening at this time of year. I don't want Chris to die until he's old and gray and played with Chandler's babies. But I so don't want Chandler to always associate his birthday with Chris being gone. I'm praying for my miracle, but I'm also praying for Chris to not suffer. He put me thru unimaginable things before we divorced, but I told him Friday that I forgave him and hoped he forgave me. I know it takes two to make or break a marriage, so I wanted him while he was still aware to know I admitted my part.
Then today my parents' house flooded. . . . Chandler has been up since 3 am poly piping and pumping, but around 6:30 pm the water started coming in. He has so much on his shoulders right now, and this just devastated him. Here I go again---please pray for my entire family and Chris'. I had a very low moment when they told me about the water (we hadn't been gone 30 minutes from dropping their groceries off), and I wanted to scream and ask God WHY??? Why so much at once??? And then I had to talk sternly to myself and remember He never leaves us or forsakes us. He has a purpose and a reason for all things. So please pray that I dig deep and pull my faith back to the forefront. My God is awesome and can use bad things for good. I just need some prayer warriors to have my back. Thank you thank you thank you for being here for us. . . . |
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Industrial Srength Barrel Racer
Posts: 7268
| I am so very sorry for everything going on in your life - many prayers from Kansas and I hope things look up a little today! |
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Shelter Dog Lover
Posts: 10277
| Continued prayers, lifting you and Chandler up. |
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Namesless in BHW
Posts: 10368
Location: At the race track with Ah Dee Ohs | So much all at once...we have your back and so does our God. Keep the faith, I continued to think of all of you daily. All of you are in my thoughts and prayers. |
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Bulls Eye
Posts: 6443
Location: Oklahoma | Many more continued prayers for you and your family. |
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Accident Prone
Posts: 22277
Location: 100 miles from Nowhere, AR | Chandler's Mom - 2016-03-11 12:06 AM His blood pressure continues to drop and the hospice nurse told his dad that she thinks his body has started shutting down. My greatest fear is possibly coming true, and I don't know if I'm equipped to handle what I need to do to be strong for my baby. He'll turn 18 Sunday, and I can't believe that this is happening at this time of year. I don't want Chris to die until he's old and gray and played with Chandler's babies. But I so don't want Chandler to always associate his birthday with Chris being gone. I'm praying for my miracle, but I'm also praying for Chris to not suffer. He put me thru unimaginable things before we divorced, but I told him Friday that I forgave him and hoped he forgave me. I know it takes two to make or break a marriage, so I wanted him while he was still aware to know I admitted my part. Then today my parents' house flooded. . . . Chandler has been up since 3 am poly piping and pumping, but around 6:30 pm the water started coming in. He has so much on his shoulders right now, and this just devastated him. Here I go again---please pray for my entire family and Chris'. I had a very low moment when they told me about the water (we hadn't been gone 30 minutes from dropping their groceries off), and I wanted to scream and ask God WHY??? Why so much at once??? And then I had to talk sternly to myself and remember He never leaves us or forsakes us. He has a purpose and a reason for all things. So please pray that I dig deep and pull my faith back to the forefront. My God is awesome and can use bad things for good. I just need some prayer warriors to have my back. Thank you thank you thank you for being here for us. . . .
God be with you and your family. We can't do it alone, but it's possible to walk through fire to the other side with His help. |
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Go Get Em!
Posts: 13503
Location: OH. IO | Chandler will be ok because he has a great and strong mom.Your entire family will remain in my prayers.KEEP THE FAITH |
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My Heart Be Happy
Posts: 9159
Location: Arkansas | Chris died about 7 Friday night. It was horrible for Chandler to see him that way, but we're both glad we went one last time before he was gone. I'm depending on God now to help me help Chandler. I am grateful beyond belief for all the support we've received on here. Please keep holding us up in prayer. |
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Common Sense and then some
Location: So. California | Chandler's Mom - 2016-03-11 10:13 PM Chris died about 7 Friday night. It was horrible for Chandler to see him that way, but we're both glad we went one last time before he was gone. I'm depending on God now to help me help Chandler. I am grateful beyond belief for all the support we've received on here. Please keep holding us up in prayer.
 I am so sorry for your loss. You, your son and family are in my prayers. God bless |
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Namesless in BHW
Posts: 10368
Location: At the race track with Ah Dee Ohs | So very sorry for your loss. May god hold and comfort you and Chandler in this tragic time. I will continue to pray for strength and comfort for you and Chandler and Chris' family. |
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 Hugs to You
Posts: 7551
Location: In The Land of Cotton | Many prayers for your son and your family. Prayers also for Chris's family too. |
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Accident Prone
Posts: 22277
Location: 100 miles from Nowhere, AR | I'm so very sorry. Continued prayer for y'all. |
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 Serious Snap Trapper
Posts: 4275
Location: In The Snow, AZ | Praying for your entire family with all you are dealing with right now. God will bring you and Chandler thru. I hope you both can find some peace and comfort and can breathe a sigh of relief. |
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Go Get Em!
Posts: 13503
Location: OH. IO | Many prayers for you and especially Chandler. Just know where to look for strength and you will find it. Love and prayers to all of you |
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 Witty Enough
Posts: 2954
Location: CTX | So sorry. |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 679
Location: KS | I am so sorry for your loss. A BUNCH of hugs and prayers sent your way. |
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Shelter Dog Lover
Posts: 10277
| I am so sorry, many prayers and hugs |
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 Thread Killer
Posts: 7545
| I am so sorry for your family and especially for Chandler. Prayers and condolences. |
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Porta Potty Pants
Posts: 2600
| So very sorry .... |
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 Reaching for the stars....
Posts: 12708
| Many prayers to you and Chandler |
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My Heart Be Happy
Posts: 9159
Location: Arkansas | We made the arrangements today and I cant begin to tell y'all how proud I am of Chandler. He was so strong and mature. Respectful of both sets of grandparents, but said what he wanted and made decisions based on what he said Chris would want. It went much better than I would have ever dreamed, and I know that was God's hands at work. I thank you all for the thoughts and prayers--they're working.
Does anyone have suggestions for songs for the funeral? This is something I never dreamed I'd be doing for my 18 year old son, helping pick out songs for his father's funeral. . . I've Googled and listened and cried and now I'm overwhelmed with so many songs. I love "You Can Let Go Now Daddy" but it's written from a daughter's POV. Chris wasn't religious but we have chosen "Go Rest High" and either "Amazing Grace" or "How Great Thou Art". We need 2 or 3 more if y'all can help. . .
Edited by Chandler's Mom 2016-03-13 12:41 AM
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Go Get Em!
Posts: 13503
Location: OH. IO | I love "go rest high" we did that for my mom. Amazing grace has a somewhat newer version...or newer verse.have you heard that one? |
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Go Get Em!
Posts: 13503
Location: OH. IO | Tears in heaven...eric clapton. Or...seasons in the sun? |
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Industrial Srength Barrel Racer
Posts: 7268
| I am so very sorry for your loss. |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 762
Location: NC | So sorry Prayers |
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Bulls Eye
Posts: 6443
Location: Oklahoma | My deepest condolences to you, Chandler, and the rest of your family. Burying one's parent is not something an 18 year old should have to go through. Chandler sounds like an amazing young man. May God wrap you all in his arms and provide comfort, peace, and guidance. |
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Undercover Amish Mafia Member
Posts: 9992
Location: Kansas | very sorry for your loss |
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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 312
Location: KS | So sorry to hear this. Prayers from KS. |
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Expert
Posts: 3514
| The song by Joey and Rorey. When I'm gone. |
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Go Get Em!
Posts: 13503
Location: OH. IO | Hope you all are holding up ok.Thinking of you tonight. |
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Expert
Posts: 5321
Location: Texas | I am very sorry for your loss.Many hugs and prayers for you and Chandler |
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Balance Beam and more...
Posts: 11511
Location: 31 lengths farms | So many prayers sent your entire family's way at this time, for you and Chandler to stay strong thru this process and also for your parents. High on that Mountain is a great song, Reba McEntire has a new one out about her dad, something about "Let the Horses Run", I love The Old Rugged Cross.
Hugs and Prayers my freind |
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Go Get Em!
Posts: 13503
Location: OH. IO | Thinking of you. |
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Namesless in BHW
Posts: 10368
Location: At the race track with Ah Dee Ohs | Thinking of you this morning. |
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Expert
Posts: 3782
Location: Gainesville, TX | Many prayers. So sorry for your loss.
Try "Make Me No Grave" --Don Edwards
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DrEVmzNUxnM
or "If You're Going Through Hell"--Rodney Atkins (Yes, I know the name is bad but the message is so good). Maybe more to encourage you right now when you feel down.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l50L4GYhpLc |
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Go Get Em!
Posts: 13503
Location: OH. IO | Thinking of you and Chandler tonight.praying you have found some peace. |
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 Warmblood with Wings
Posts: 27846
Location: Florida.. | I am Very sorry for your loss and your sons.. I hope God can comfort you both thru this hard time.. Ill say some prayers for strength .. I know it is difficult.. |
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Go Get Em!
Posts: 13503
Location: OH. IO | Hoping you check in soon.miss ya. |
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Namesless in BHW
Posts: 10368
Location: At the race track with Ah Dee Ohs | Checking in on ya this morning. Hope all is well with you and Chandler. |
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Go Get Em!
Posts: 13503
Location: OH. IO | Hoping you are ok....thinking of you and Chandler tonight. |
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Looking for Lady Jockey
Posts: 3747
Location: Rodeos or Baseball games | So sorry you all are going though this. Prayers for all. |
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Namesless in BHW
Posts: 10368
Location: At the race track with Ah Dee Ohs | Hoping you and Chandler are doing well today. |
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Go Get Em!
Posts: 13503
Location: OH. IO | Hoping you check in soon. |
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Namesless in BHW
Posts: 10368
Location: At the race track with Ah Dee Ohs | What Jake said! Miss you |
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My Heart Be Happy
Posts: 9159
Location: Arkansas | I've felt so broken that I haven't had the heart to come check in. My baby is hurting, and I feel so helpless to do anything to fix it. But I have made the decision that is so obvious (and that some of your great ladies have reminded me)----put Chandler in His hands for comfort and strength.
The whole scenario has been surreal, but between visitation and the funeral itself, I was reminded by the outpouring of support and love what a great guy Chris was before the alcohol took over and just how many friends he had. I have never been so proud as I was of Chandler thru this ordeal. He was so mature and amazing; my heart swelled with all the compliments I received on him. He is the best thing Chris and I ever did together or separately. . . . He is my pride and joy, and my heart breaks to think of all the things Chris will miss out on in Chandler's life.
The songs were Far Away, Go Rest High, and Whiskey Lullaby. I was out voted on Whiskey Lullaby---I just wasn't sure about it. But Chandler and Chris' sister said that song was what happened to Chris, that it WAS his life. After the service, I had two or three different people come up and tell me that the song was perfect, so I'm at peace with it.
My parent's house is gutted and waiting on the contractor to begin putting it back together. They are staying at our deer camp for now, so please keep sending those thoughts and prayers for them. Everyone is stressed and on edge, but we are all safe and together---and that's all that matters. . .
I feel like "thank you" does not even begin to cover all the thoughts and prayers you BHW buddies have sent my family's way. Please do not doubt they have been felt and treasured. |
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Namesless in BHW
Posts: 10368
Location: At the race track with Ah Dee Ohs | So glad you checked in with us. I will continue to pray and keep you and Chandler in my thoughts as you go through this ordeal. |
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Whack and Roll
Posts: 6342
Location: NE Texas | Continued thoughts and praryers for you and Chandler. Many hugs and prayers for comfort and peace for the two of you! |
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Serious Snap Trapper
Posts: 4275
Location: In The Snow, AZ | Continued prayers for you, Chandler, and your parents. |
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Go Get Em!
Posts: 13503
Location: OH. IO | so glad you checked in. Things will get better,probably gonna be a slow process,but keep the faith.Im happy to see the good memories that came out during this horrible time. I was really getting worried about you,you are such a great person,always a kind word for everyone.Praying for some peace for you and your son,and your parents as well |
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Miracles still happen--Update