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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 408
| I have this new amazing horse that I bought in February. He has only been worked on barrels for a year, not run much. He is a total gentleman at the gate, can walk in and walk out, doesn’t get excited about much! I know I should be able to RUN him but all I can bring myself to do right now is lope him at the barrels.
I confess, sometimes I am scared to pieces, even with my seasoned barrel horse. I had my share of bad accidents and although I do try not to let them get to me, sometimes they haunt me! I do TRY SO HARD not to think about them and look confident and look like I know what I am doing but inside I am scared poopless ! Both my horses are nothing less than awesome, my seasoned horse can get in the muscle but nothing that I cannot handle and my new one so far is a saint so WHY OH WHY I can’t shake it off? I don’t let this fear stop me, not just no but HELL NO! But I would love to ease it, be more relaxed and trust my guys. I get so mad at myself, ughhhhhh I truly wish I was braver ?
I know, I am having a pity party but I do get very frustrated and disgusted with myself. I can’t be the only one that feels this way, right? Anyone else out there? What do you guys do to overcome it?
I guess if it is true that courage is being scared and saddling up anyways, I should be a very the epic of courage then!
Rant and pity party over! Thanks for listening :-(
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Industrial Srength Barrel Racer
Posts: 7268
  
| I feel EXACTLY the same way! I do notice that the more I ride, the more comfortable I am - that said, I haven't hauled in over a YEAR - my dad was in a nursing home, then he passed away last month, so I'm dealing with his house (100 miles away), paperwork, etc. but I about panic just thinking about riding. I'm a big fraidy cat! I never USED to be but after a bad wreck, it's almost like I have PTSS! |
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 No Tune in a Bucket
Posts: 2935
Location: Texas | I think you have it just right. Keep saddling up and pushing thru. If you don't have a helmet, that might be a good investment. Or even the hated Magic Seat. Whatever it takes to make you feel more comfortable and keep going. |
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 Scorpions R Us
Posts: 9586
Location: So. Cali. | You are not alone, by a long shot.
My coming 6yr old gelding whom I've owned since day one, bred his parents, launched me twice last year. No reason. First time was no warning in my own backyard. Couple months later it was at a race between first and second barrel. Never offered the whole time he was being started undersaddle, etc. He's always been a brat, my fault, but not to that extent. Last launch was July last year. He tried to pull it one other time in my backyard after but I was able to stop it and get after him. Hasn't offered since.
He is one of the most talented & powerful horses I've swung a leg over, but I no longer trust him. I am still hauling him, and donating money at the races while cruising thru as I know it's the only way I'm ever going to get over my fear. He's been doing very well and each race we've improved our times, that is my only goal right now.
Defiantly not alone!
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 Total Germophobe
Posts: 6443
Location: Montana | It's okay, I promise! If you look at one of my most recent posts, I had an accident 3 years ago that really shook my confidence. It took me over a year to be able to run again, even though my accident had nothing to do with barrel racing. I did get a helmet (I fell on my head) and wear it every time, except when I'm barrel racing (it gets in my way, or I think it does). But courage is being scared to death and saddling up any ways. And I know that for a fact, some days it is a challenge just getting on a horse for me (depending on the horse), and other days I'm feeling confident and it's easy. Hugs to you, it gets easier.  |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 507
Location: Lost in the corn of Iowa. | You are not alone!!! I had a mare that was bred nice, but she literally tried to kill me. She had bucked me off numerous times, kicked at me, was a pill to ride, but every once in a while she'd have her good days. I almost died last year (unrelated) and I just said enough was enough, she needed to find a new home. It's not worth it for me to keep getting hurt. Ultimately, she had broken my confidence so far down that I sold her and got a seasoned kid safe horse. Nothing fast by any means, 4D/5D to be exact. Well, we had an accident and I ended up breaking my pelvis on him because he tried to flip over with me. It may have been his fault, it may not have been but he found a new home in a hurry. I wasn't going to keep him around to find out what round 2 was like. I ended up trading him for another kid safe mare. I figured why not, give it one last chance. I didn't want to ride her because I just knew that she was gonna flip the crazy switch. Well I pushed through and just trail rode her around the place to just get together with her. I wasn't sure I wanted to keep her until 6 months of having her, then at some point the light bulb went off and we clicked. She has so much heart and try it isn't even funny. I still worry about getting hurt, I know it wouldn't be her fault because she isn't a mean mare by any means. But at the end of the day I saddle up anyway and keep going. I figure I don't want to live in the coulda shoulda woulda's and instead remember that I tried and kept going. Good luck! And know that you aren't alone. |
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 Expert
Posts: 1286
Location: Mississippi | Same here - I am a work in progress. I will tell you one thing that really helped me was that I started wearing a helmet. And riding consistently really helps also. I still get super nervous at a race but I think it's because I put way too much pressure on myself. I am only like that on one of my horses who I know is awesome but I can't seem to get with him. The other goes at the pace I am comfortable with and I don't get at all nervous with him. |
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 A very grounded girl
Posts: 5052
Location: Moving soon..... | You will know when it is time to go faster. My husband gives me a hard time because I would haul for a year and only exhibition. It's okay. |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 408
| THANK YOU GUYS!!! 
I am fairly new to barrel racing, have been doing it for two years this month. I have a very strong Dressage background and as you can imagine the change from one discipline to another has not been easy (riding controlling every step of the horse to riding with what sometimes looks out of control has not been an easy transition LOL) Of course, on top of that you add all the bad experiences/accidents, it has been and still is definitely quite a challenge!
I considered myself a decent rider but my lack of self trust and confidence is my very worse enemy. I truly want to get over it, I want to trust my capabilities as a rider and believe that not matter what, I can handle both of my guys. I would love for my mind to stop playing tricks on me and stop thinking on the "what ifs".
Both of my guys are amazing horses and I feel like I need to do them justice. i am so afraid of messing them up! I have been told that with my new horse I am going to have to speed him up soon or he will just fall in the habit of not going fast, and I know that's true! But for the life of me, I can't bring myself to let him run just yet( I know it will be good to breeze him but I have to work up my courage to do so)...I know I will be able in the future, but I hope that by then I haven't ruin him 
By the way, I do try to ride both of my guys about everyday if I can, and not just in the arena but in the fields etc. I like to keep their minds fresh! I even feel a bit anxious riding in an open area (big wrecks happened out of the arena) but I ride them out anyways. Also, I do ride with a helmet. I have considered wrapping myself on bubble wrap but I thought that might be overkilling it
Thanks again for all the encouraging words.... It is good to know that I am not alone out there! |
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 Expert
Posts: 1304
| It may sound odd but maybe you could have a trainer or someone you trust speed up your new horse first. Maybe watch them too so it takes away some of the what-ifs and also shows you that he's fine and you can do it too! Good luck! |
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 Gotta Have a Gray
Posts: 899
Location: Tex. Panhandle | You are def not alone! I have a gelding now that is literally cruising 2d/3d times at big races. He has so much talent. He sat for sev years only being rode and come back running 1 sec off top horses. He got me off about 3 months ago, I havent hit the ground in over 15 years. A friend has been hauling him bc I'm pregnant. I'm so torn between keeping him and working him through his little fit throwing issue or just selling and starting with something completely new after the baby. I want to get my cofidence back!! Sometimes that means sticking things out that scare you, but it also means knowing when to be smart and walk away. That line seems very thin at times to me.  Best of luck!!
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 Shelter Dog Lover
Posts: 10277
| Hang in there! I did not start barrel racing till I was 49-talked about scared, my stomach would burn so bad I wondered why I was doing this. I was doing it because I did not want to sell my girls rodeo horses. They moved on to college and I loved these guys, they happily slowed down for me but talk about intimidating. I took my time to get where I felt a tiny bit confident on them. My husband came to watch and I gritted my teeth and kicked and let him go, went 2 handed between each barrel and by golly we made a great 1D run and I was with him every step of the way. That was my aha moment that I was better than I thought I was and it became fun. I am by no means a great rider but I am better than I thought I would ever be. It took me about 4 years to work up to that run. |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 408
| love it! that is my goal as well. hopefully I will have that kind of a run someday SOON! lol |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 408
| That sounds like a great idea and I am truly considering it, but can you believe that at the same time I am like "my horse, my responsibility. I am the one that ought to step up to the plate and get it done!" I am such a mess |
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| You are not alone at all. Like the others have said, more saddle time helps with this. My horse bucked me off when I was starting him (over 3 years ago!) and I still struggle with trust.
This weekend we went to our first barrel race of the season and for whatever reason there was numerous wrecks. By the time I ran I was about sick to my stomach and I totally rode like it. I made a horrible run and if my horse could talk he would have stopped have way through and said "what the heck are you doing?"
So I came back Sunday and trusted him. I figured if the worst happens at least I can say I was trying. I gave him his head and hustled him along and He made a beautiful run. |
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 Born not Made
Posts: 2937
Location: North Dakota | The MENTAL game is the hardest game to overcome.
Realize that you do have to push yourself out of your comfort zone in order to progress to wear you want to be, but only you can decide how quickly (or slowly) you make that progress. It is YOUR timeline and no one else's!
Back when I was in high school / early college, I did a lot of colt starting. Nothing used to phase me. I'd climb on anyway; no fear ever! Then I actually got hurt pretty decent when one got me off (long story .... she had issues the owners completely LIED to me about). Ever since then which is going on 10+ years, I will hesitate when stepping onto a young horse that **could** act up. I can make myself do it but sometimes inside I am still just terrified. I don't know if that feeling will ever go away but I just tell myself those feelings of fear is what is going to keep my rump safe when on a colt, because I am not going to be lax about it. 
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 929
| You are NOT alone!! In (or was) in the same boat. After having a bad accident with a jumper some years ago and then with one of my barrel horses (I have also only been at it about 3 years- accident was the first year) I TOTALLY know what is happening. Got this AMAZINGLY TALENTED, yet smart and willful colt from Wyoming Barrel Racer and was not only apprehensive about how quickly he could move forward...but also to the side, the back, hind end or front end in the air while other parts moved elsewhere, etc. Combine this with getting pregnant his 2-year-old year and only starting lightly. Now I am aftaid that I would kill myself or become a vegetable even though I always wore a helmet. I was not aware of it...but I was really freaking my horse out.
I just came back from a clinic with Wylene Wilson and I am going to tell you...find a clinician or someone who can get your confidence back. While IN THE SADDLE. You can ground-drive and play games all you want, but you need a trainer who will push you and really get you connected to your horse. My colt has never been ridden out of the round pen. She had us doing reining patterns and loping out on the trails. Uneven ground, big, scary, rocks...past crowded soccer fields with lots of kids and cars and commotion. And both my colt and myself were...FINE. Yes, a clinic may cost a bit, but it's really worth it (especially for those of us who used to ride under the tutelage of a trainer 3-5 days a week like you do in the English disciplines.) Even if it doesn't help your times it will really help your confidence. And most of them are happy to assist after their clinic or will do "video coaching." |
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  Extreme Veteran
Posts: 403
Location: Armuchee, GA, NW section of Ga | I know what you mean. Ive not had any big accidents, but due to my age, 62 this year, i feel more careful and not inclined to take risks.
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 Whack and Roll
Posts: 6342
Location: NE Texas | You're definitely not alone. There is a book called "That Winning Feeling" by Jane Savoie (sp?) that you ought to get. It's helped me numerous times through the years when i've struggled with fear. It will help you figure out how to not let it get a hold on you. |
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 Independent Cuss
Posts: 3978
Location: Dearing, GA | Thank you for posting this. I am absolutely terrified to run now. I used to be fearless, but a couple of very painful falls have me way more nervous now. I get that dropped stomach, nauseous feeling and don't even want to run anymore. I've put my horse up for sale because its at the point where I'm interfering with his performance, which he doesn't deserve. I've decided I'm going to look for a babysitter 4D/5D horse to start gaining confidence after he sells.
I also feel like I need to get a helmet. I also need to lose a lot of weight. And I need to just suck it up. |
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 Did I miss the party?
Posts: 3864
| Definitely not alone. I was taken out of the arena on a backboard in 2011 after I was bucked off during a run due to the mare having a cyst pop on her ovary. Broke 6 bones, a punctured lung, a brain bleed, a couple surgeries to help fix things, etc. This was a mare that I ran for 8 years before she ever did anything like that. EVER. During my lifetime, I have been lucky enough to do very well barrel racing. Had some top notch horses who won me a lot of pro rodeos. I've never been the same mentally since this happened and it effects my riding ability. When you're scared, your body stiffens and you have no trust in your ability to stay on. BUT, I was able to "kind of" start riding like myself again when I was going consistently in 2013/2014. I had a young horse that started really coming on. Was in the 1D/2D consistently and kept slowly moving up. Then, I had to have emergency surgery last year and ended up being off for another 6 months. Had to sell the young horse to help cover my portion of those medical bills (even though I have health insurance my portion was pretty large). So now, I'm back to ground zero. I have a gelding that has an ongoing soundness issue (which should be better by this summer thankfully) and an up and coming 3 year old. I ride just about every day but, I've only run barrels about 10 times since the end of 2014.
I agree with what others have said, try to keep going consistently to try and build your confidence. If I take any type of break, I start all over in dealing with fear again. Like from ground zero. Seeing those 3 barrels in the arena waiting for me when they call my name gives me major anxiety. I was never like that...... And it sucks....... A LOT. But, this is all I know and what makes me happy so, I would never quit and this will not beat me. |
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I hope it's true what they say that courage is being scared and saddling anyways :-(