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Location: TX | Since when is it okay to cut others down for their own personal style, opinions, or choices with their OWN horses. Shouldn't we be lifting others up? Encouraging them? Supporting them? I am pretty sure that no one in this sport started out as a professional, everyone began somewhere. Whether you were 3 years old on a pony, 18 years old on your first horse, or 55 and just started barrel racing, everyone started somewhere.
It blows my mind at a jackpot, rodeo, or even some people behind their computers on Facebook otters can comment and say hurtful things towards contestants. Who cares if someone wants to wear a helmet, use a hackamore, or wear shin guards....do these things affect your life so profoundly that you have to make fun of someone you may not even know???
The only way to get better is to work hard and seek advice from mentors or more experienced people. How are others ever going to feel comfortable and welcomed enough to reach out and ask for help? Im pretty sure everyone has asked for help at some point. So why not support each other? Compliment each other sincerely? Learn from one another? Why does tis sport we all love so much have to breed so much negativity and jealousy??
I guess I just don't understand..... |
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Posts: 5293
 
| Speaking as a psychologist here, often times these behaviors are defense mechanisms for the persons own short comings in life. Sometimes its jealousy. Then if you delve into the " Big 5" personality traits as we call them in the field, some people are just mean! Just like other animals. How many " little" dogs/breeds have you walked up to or by at a race and all they do is growl at you for no reason? Most of these animals have not been personally hurt by you or anyone else, its just their nature to be nasty. Sometimes ( Most of the time) its socialization. Take a look at the family they came from, you will be amazed at how many similarities you will find. A lot of these people do it to get a reaction/Attention. Even negative attention is still attention and they will say and do whatever they can to be the focus of that attention. Thats a brief explanation of how I see it from my training. |
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Member
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Location: TX | It makes me disgusted to see those same people that just cut someone down during their run be the same person they hauled with etc. |
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Expert
Posts: 1226
| brandilarsen1 - 2016-04-28 10:21 AM It makes me disgusted to see those same people that just cut someone down during their run be the same person they hauled with etc.
I see this all the time. We are adults. And should act like them. And if people are really "friends" they would lift each other up and encourage them. I feel like the people that belittle others are the most insecure. It makes them feel better about themselves. Don't get me wrong I have caught myself being negative I feel everyone had one time or another. Especially women to women. We must rise above that. I'm only out there to do my best and have fun. And if my friends have better runs and nicer horses that's great. It should be fun |
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Posts: 173
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow | One in four people are sociopaths. No empathy and no conscience. It's amazing what they will do to an individual and say about an individual that they target. There is no cure! All you can do is ignore them, that cuts off their supply. You can never say or do anything that will change them. The best last word you can have is to go ride and be successful.
Even worse is the Narcissistic Sociopath. The good news is that they are easy to spot. Lots of FB selfies and they love to blast on FB. They are so brave aren't they...they don't even know that people are laughing at them. They don't know that the people that are being nice to them are just being nice so that they aren't a target. They are clueless!
A great read is The Sociopath Next Door.
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 Experienced Mouse Trapper
Posts: 3106
Location: North Dakota | FLITASTIC - 2016-04-28 12:09 PM Speaking as a psychologist here, often times these behaviors are defense mechanisms for the persons own short comings in life. Sometimes its jealousy. Then if you delve into the " Big 5" personality traits as we call them in the field, some people are just mean! Just like other animals. How many " little" dogs/breeds have you walked up to or by at a race and all they do is growl at you for no reason? Most of these animals have not been personally hurt by you or anyone else, its just their nature to be nasty. Sometimes ( Most of the time) its socialization. Take a look at the family they came from, you will be amazed at how many similarities you will find. A lot of these people do it to get a reaction/Attention. Even negative attention is still attention and they will say and do whatever they can to be the focus of that attention. Thats a brief explanation of how I see it from my training.
Main take away here is most people are A-holes. End of story. |
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 Undercover Amish Mafia Member
Posts: 9992
Location: Kansas | LMS - 2016-04-28 12:48 PM FLITASTIC - 2016-04-28 12:09 PM Speaking as a psychologist here, often times these behaviors are defense mechanisms for the persons own short comings in life. Sometimes its jealousy. Then if you delve into the " Big 5" personality traits as we call them in the field, some people are just mean! Just like other animals. How many " little" dogs/breeds have you walked up to or by at a race and all they do is growl at you for no reason? Most of these animals have not been personally hurt by you or anyone else, its just their nature to be nasty. Sometimes ( Most of the time) its socialization. Take a look at the family they came from, you will be amazed at how many similarities you will find. A lot of these people do it to get a reaction/Attention. Even negative attention is still attention and they will say and do whatever they can to be the focus of that attention. Thats a brief explanation of how I see it from my training. Main take away here is most people are A-holes. End of story.
Yep, people can reek sometimes |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 788
| It is sad. . . But unfortunately, it is the world we live in. There are still people who only want to help others and lift each other up. . . So find them and leave those other ppl to themselves. |
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  Warmblood with Wings
Posts: 27846
Location: Florida.. | In My humble Opinion.. There are just as many supportive people and friends... |
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Warmblood with Wings
Posts: 27846
Location: Florida.. | rule of thumb.. Dont let someone else control your emotions.. |
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 Expert
Posts: 1304
| Is there really no hope for a sociopath? This may be off topic but I feel like I am dealing with someone who may be a and I really don't know what to do as I don't want them out of my life...
Aside from that, I agree. I don't understand why we all don't lift eachother up? It takes more energy, in my opinion, to be nasty and I think it would make my life miserable. I just don't get it! |
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Posts: 1631
Location: Somewhere around here | I've been wondering this since I started really being competitive in barrel racing when I was 14. I rode up on my small Paint and stopped my horse by an older lady who has a huge horse. I smiled at her and she kind of have me a disgusted look and said "you're never going anywhere with that little thing". I was shocked and hurt, tears came to my eyes as she rode away and never really tried making friends at barrel races after that.
Over ten years later, just Tuesday night, I was fed up and finally asked for some help from a lady at the jackpot who had a nice horse and she was so nice and helped me a lot! I was so surprised that when I got into my pick-up to leave I cried a little.
Off note, I wonder if all barrel racers have RBF...(resting *witch face lol)
Edited by cecollins0811 2016-05-02 5:05 PM
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Expert
Posts: 5293
| LMS - 2016-04-28 10:48 AM
FLITASTIC - 2016-04-28 12:09 PM Speaking as a psychologist here, often times these behaviors are defense mechanisms for the persons own short comings in life. Sometimes its jealousy. Then if you delve into the " Big 5" personality traits as we call them in the field, some people are just mean! Just like other animals. How many " little" dogs/breeds have you walked up to or by at a race and all they do is growl at you for no reason? Most of these animals have not been personally hurt by you or anyone else, its just their nature to be nasty. Sometimes ( Most of the time) its socialization. Take a look at the family they came from, you will be amazed at how many similarities you will find. A lot of these people do it to get a reaction/Attention. Even negative attention is still attention and they will say and do whatever they can to be the focus of that attention. Thats a brief explanation of how I see it from my training.
Main take away here is most people are A-holes. End of story.
Correct. lol But as of today there is no Diagnostic category in the DSM for being an A-hole. lol Its not a mental illness. |
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Expert
Posts: 5293
| blccwgl55 - 2016-04-28 11:01 AM
Is there really no hope for a sociopath? This may be off topic but I feel like I am dealing with someone who may be a and I really don't know what to do as I don't want them out of my life...
Aside from that, I agree. I don't understand why we all don't lift eachother up? It takes more energy, in my opinion, to be nasty and I think it would make my life miserable. I just don't get it!
Please see a doctor first if you suspect sociopathic tendencies. I won't give to much detail here but its not as treatable as some other mental disorders. PM me if you want a little more detail. |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 788
| My experience has been the ones who are nasty dont usually go very far. There are always exceptions but in general if you surround yourself with people who want to go far and are more professional then you will be way better off and everyone helps one another. . . The futurities have been a good example of this. . . from what I have seen there are so many wonderful people competing against each other (to make a living) and are so helpful with each other. |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 408
| I only have been barrel racing for a couple of years but all I can say is that so far I have been very very fortunate. All the people that I have met have been nothing but encouraging and always willing to help me.
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 Shelter Dog Lover
Posts: 10277
| It saids more about the person cutting others down then who they are talking about. I have never encountered this but my kids have. I use to tell them to say I am sorry for what ever is going on in your life that makes you act this way, but I hope it gets better and walk away. I am blessed to have tremendous barrel racing friends. |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 507
Location: Lost in the corn of Iowa. | love2ridepre - 2016-04-28 2:00 PM
I only have been barrel racing for a couple of years but all I can say is that so far I have been very very fortunate. All the people that I have met have been nothing but encouraging and always willing to help me.
Give it time, you'll eventually see the nastiness. Beat out someone that usually wins one time and it will rear it's ugly head. |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 889
| I found this quote "Pay close attention to the "friends" who don't cheer when you succeed!"
It definitely got me thinking... |
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 Stinky Cat Owner
Posts: 4097
Location: Oregon | I saw this recently on Facebook and it has been my mantra lately. 
 (1141350379-inner-peace-dalai-lama-quote.jpg)
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Regular
Posts: 99
| Thank you for this thread, amen. |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 929
| love2ridepre - 2016-04-28 12:00 PM
I only have been barrel racing for a couple of years but all I can say is that so far I have been very very fortunate. All the people that I have met have been nothing but encouraging and always willing to help me.
This is what I have found, too. Although I run in the 4D, so...LOL. But as a former hunter/jumper rider who has braved several George Morris clinics and clinics with othres like them...if you have a crituque of my skills and or riding...BRING IT. SAY IT TO MY FACE!!!! Maybe I NEED the criticism to become better at the sport.
If you're just being nasty by then all means you might get your teeth knocked in...but if you HONESTLY think there is something I need to do differently or better...I am all ears and am always willing to learn from those who are more successful than I am. |
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Expert
Posts: 1207
| My X was this way ALL the time. Never could give me credit for a good run, winning a saddle, belt buckles, etc. NEVER could. Always knocked my horse, but ALWAYS wanted to rope off them because they were so broke. So much better than the horses he roped off of.
But this happens not only in barrel racing or whatever sport, also in the work place. I work with a gal like this, never says a good thing about what I do, always negative.
So through the years I have to let it go in one ear and out the other. But it really beats one self-esteem down the tubes. |
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Member
Posts: 31
Location: TX | 4D money spends the same as 1D money! |
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 Veteran
Posts: 239
| cecollins0811 - 2016-04-28 12:49 PM I've been wondering this since I started really being competitive in barrel racing when I was 14. I rode up on my small Paint and stopped my horse by an older lady who has a huge horse. I smoked at her and she kind of have me a disgusted look and said "you're never going anywhere with that little thing". I was shocked and hurt, tears came to my eyes as she rode away and never really tried making friends at barrel races after that. Over ten years later, just Tuesday night, I was fed up and finally asked for some help from a lady at the jackpot who had a nice horse and she was so nice and helped me a lot! I was so surprised that when I got into my pick-up to leave I cried a little. Off note, I wonder if all barrel racers have RBF...(resting *witch face lol)
Yes, we do!! LOL I know I do and have been told so!  |
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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 312
Location: KS | Bibliafarm - 2016-04-28 12:56 PM
In My humble Opinion.. There are just as many supportive people and friends...
I agree, there are a lot of good people in the industry as well, people willing to help and give advice, some of it might be the area or district too.
Its just when someone comes across that one bad apple it makes the good ones look bad too. Don't let them ruin it for you... |
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 Expert
Posts: 1395
Location: Missouri | I've been out of competition for a few years focusing on my family. Honestly I doubt many people in this area will remember me once I get back into it except my 15ish or so FB friends who barrel race.
Sad to say it but...I'm totally ok with that....  |
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Veteran
Posts: 285
| cecollins0811 - 2016-04-28 1:49 PM
I've been wondering this since I started really being competitive in barrel racing when I was 14. I rode up on my small Paint and stopped my horse by an older lady who has a huge horse. I smiled at her and she kind of have me a disgusted look and said "you're never going anywhere with that little thing". I was shocked and hurt, tears came to my eyes as she rode away and never really tried making friends at barrel races after that.
Over ten years later, just Tuesday night, I was fed up and finally asked for some help from a lady at the jackpot who had a nice horse and she was so nice and helped me a lot! I was so surprised that when I got into my pick-up to leave I cried a little.
Off note, I wonder if all barrel racers have RBF...(resting *witch face lol)
I was about 15 and got done running my horse. Cooled her down and everything and went to go get her water. Brought it back to her and she split it on me. I later went to see what run she was on and there were a group of women standing around talking. One looked at me nasty and asked if it was raining out. Maybe I was to sensitive but it did hurt my feelings. I try to be nice to everyone. Its a sport we love and we should all encourage it other. I know when someone hits a barrel sometimes I let out a 'oh no'. I enjoy watching other riders and their horses run. |
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Veteran
Posts: 285
| 2H~QH - 2016-05-02 3:28 PM
cecollins0811 - 2016-04-28 12:49 PM I've been wondering this since I started really being competitive in barrel racing when I was 14. I rode up on my small Paint and stopped my horse by an older lady who has a huge horse. I smoked at her and she kind of have me a disgusted look and said "you're never going anywhere with that little thing". I was shocked and hurt, tears came to my eyes as she rode away and never really tried making friends at barrel races after that. Over ten years later, just Tuesday night, I was fed up and finally asked for some help from a lady at the jackpot who had a nice horse and she was so nice and helped me a lot! I was so surprised that when I got into my pick-up to leave I cried a little. Off note, I wonder if all barrel racers have RBF...(resting *witch face lol)
Yes, we do!! LOL I know I do and have been told so!
Lmbo!!! I know I have it. I try to remember to smile but if I'm nervous or concentrating I just look mean. |
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 Expert
Posts: 1273
Location: South Dakota | Bibliafarm - 2016-04-28 12:56 PM In My humble Opinion.. There are just as many supportive people and friends... I agree. I think most people are good. The bad ones are just more......memorable!
Edited by Timber Creek 2016-05-03 8:20 AM
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 Witty Enough
Posts: 2954
Location: CTX | pepsi97 - 2016-05-02 9:26 PM 2H~QH - 2016-05-02 3:28 PM cecollins0811 - 2016-04-28 12:49 PM I've been wondering this since I started really being competitive in barrel racing when I was 14. I rode up on my small Paint and stopped my horse by an older lady who has a huge horse. I smoked at her and she kind of have me a disgusted look and said "you're never going anywhere with that little thing". I was shocked and hurt, tears came to my eyes as she rode away and never really tried making friends at barrel races after that. Over ten years later, just Tuesday night, I was fed up and finally asked for some help from a lady at the jackpot who had a nice horse and she was so nice and helped me a lot! I was so surprised that when I got into my pick-up to leave I cried a little. Off note, I wonder if all barrel racers have RBF...(resting *witch face lol) Yes, we do!! LOL I know I do and have been told so! Lmbo!!! I know I have it. I try to remember to smile but if I'm nervous or concentrating I just look mean.
Lol, I remember when riding English 30+ years ago, I always got asked why I was so angry....... |
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