|
|
 Total Germophobe
Posts: 6443
   
Location: Montana | I'm hoping you can maybe give me an idea on what you would do. I want to go to college to get a B.S. in biology, and then further schooling into another field. My issue is my parents don't want me to go to college. My mom is okay about it, but my dad is pretty adamant that college is a bad influence and has corrupted many young people, on a moral perspective not academicly. I believe there is a mixture of both good and bad, in college and the world, and you can separate yourself from certain issues. Plus the first two years of college I can do more than 50% of school online. I have talked with dad before, and dad more or less waffles back and forth between being okay with college and being adamantly against it. Its confusing to say the least.
The only reason this is kind of a problem is I still live with my parents and work with them at the family business. I don't know how to reconcile going to college, my parents not wanting me to, and how to do it while still living at home and working with/for them. I feel I wouldn't be able to afford to go to college without working for/with them and living at home. I love my parents, and do my best to honor them and please them, as I believe what the Bible says about that. But I also feel I'm old enough (I'm in my mid twenties) to make some decisions on my own and that they should be supportive of my decisions. Any advice would be most appreciated as I'm just not sure how to go about this. Thanks much.
Edited by mtcanchazer 2016-07-21 3:01 PM
|
|
| |
|
Extreme Veteran
Posts: 516
| mtcanchazer - 2016-05-11 10:49 PM
I'm hoping you can maybe give me an idea on what you would do. I want to go to college to get a B.S. in biology, and then further schooling into another field. My issue is my parents don't want me to go to college. My mom is okay about it, but my dad is pretty adamant that college is a bad influence and has corrupted many young people, on a moral perspective not academicly. I believe there is a mixture of both good and bad, in college and the world, and you can separate yourself from certain issues. Plus the first two years of college I can do more than 50% of school online. I have talked with dad before, and dad more or less waffles back and forth between being okay with college and being adamantly against it. Its confusing to say the least.
The only reason this is kind of a problem is I still live with my parents and work with them at the family business. I don't know how to reconcile going to college, my parents not wanting me to, and how to do it while still living at home and working with/for them. I feel I wouldn't be able to afford to go to college without working for/with them and living at home. I love my parents, and do my best to honor them and please them, as I believe what the Bible says about that. But I also feel I'm old enough (I'm in my mid twenties) to make some decisions on my own and that they should be supportive of my decisions. Any advice would be most appreciated as I'm just not sure how to go about this. Thanks much.
What I would do is take out loans and get out from under their wing. I'd understand if they weren't supportive of running off with your first love you just met, but this is college for goodness sake. This is bettering your future - for yourself and others. Find a school that's a good fit for you and just do it. Many kids these days don't have the drive or the want to go to college. You do - don't lose that.
Have a heart to heart discussion with both of them and explain why you want to go, why you think it will benefit you, etc but be serious about the fact you want to go. It may surprise you how parents can open up.
|
|
| |
|
 Regular
Posts: 92
Location: here there and everywhere! | To be honest your a grown **** woman! At some point you need to realize what you want to do with your own life and do it. Obviously a direction should as Biology would not later on in life involve working with your family. You must have a career in mind to want this field. Family is to support each other no matter what. If they wont help financially (which i wouldnt expect mine didnt) start small go to a community college which is way more affordable and start small. One or 2 classes here or there that you can pay off on your own. Dont let the money part scare you. There is help out there
If this is something your serious about do it because to be honest with you this is the time and the chance you need to take now. I decided out of high school to not go and I regretted it BIG TIME. Going back to college in your late twenties early 30's with a bunch of KIDS sucks! I felt like crap everytime I looked around and realized i wasted that time in my life when i should have stuck with school. Now in my career I watch people younger than me and with no experience fly up past me just because they have more schooling than I do. Dont make that mistake and not go out of a misguided loyalty. You need to live your life not theirs. |
|
| |
|
Expert
Posts: 1586
Location: west of East Texas | You definitely need to be making your own decisions by this age. You could respectfully tell the parents that you have decided that this is something you need to do. Explain that initially a portion will be online and that this would give you and them both the opportunity to get accustomed to it. Then ask them to be supportive emotionally if not financially. If they choose not to support your decision, then you need to move on on your own, both with a new job and a new home. You should not feel obligated to grant this much control over your adult life. Good luck that this can go peacefully and they realize how beneficial an education is. |
|
| |
|
Total Germophobe
Posts: 6443
Location: Montana | Thanks very much for all the input. I have talked with them before, and have had talks go smoothly and other ones go roughly. My mom went to college and acquired her teaching degree, and a lot of their opinions I think come from some of her experiences and her friends' experiences way back when (late 1960's, early 1970's). I know my parents want to protect me, and I appreciate that. I love them a lot and overall they have been extremely supportive of things I have wanted to undertake. I waited on college because I didn't know what I wanted to do when I graduated, but I was also only 17 when I finished high school. I'm not trying to make my parents sound like the bad guys (or me good), I am just not sure how to handle it all. |
|
| |
|
 Mature beyond Years
Posts: 10780
Location: North of the 49th Parallel | Go to school! And you don't need to consult your parents, you are plenty old enough. I'm in my early twenties and told my parents I was moving 12 hours away for a job, after I got said job and found a place to live, with them not even knowing I was looking for jobs out this way. Your education is something you'll never regret. I have an expensive piece of paper saying I have a bachelor's degree but I wouldn't have gotten this job if I didn't have my BA. ETA- my job isnt even in the field of my degree.
Edited by bccanchaser16 2016-05-11 11:54 PM
|
|
| |
|
 My Heart Be Happy
Posts: 9159
Location: Arkansas | mtcanchazer - 2016-05-11 10:49 PM
I'm hoping you can maybe give me an idea on what you would do. I want to go to college to get a B.S. in biology, and then further schooling into another field. My issue is my parents don't want me to go to college. My mom is okay about it, but my dad is pretty adamant that college is a bad influence and has corrupted many young people, on a moral perspective not academicly. I believe there is a mixture of both good and bad, in college and the world, and you can separate yourself from certain issues. Plus the first two years of college I can do more than 50% of school online. I have talked with dad before, and dad more or less waffles back and forth between being okay with college and being adamantly against it. Its confusing to say the least.
The only reason this is kind of a problem is I still live with my parents and work with them at the family business. I don't know how to reconcile going to college, my parents not wanting me to, and how to do it while still living at home and working with/for them. I feel I wouldn't be able to afford to go to college without working for/with them and living at home. I love my parents, and do my best to honor them and please them, as I believe what the Bible says about that. But I also feel I'm old enough (I'm in my mid twenties) to make some decisions on my own and that they should be supportive of my decisions. Any advice would be most appreciated as I'm just not sure how to go about this. Thanks much.
As a mom I appreciate so much that even at your age you care what your parents think and how your decisions still affect them. It is ultimately your decision, but I think it says a lot about you AND your parents that you want to include them in this part of your life. Good luck in what you decide. . . . |
|
| |
|
| bccanchaser16 - 2016-05-11 11:53 PM
Go to school! And you don't need to consult your parents, you are plenty old enough. I'm in my early twenties and told my parents I was moving 12 hours away for a job, after I got said job and found a place to live, with them not even knowing I was looking for jobs out this way. Your education is something you'll never regret. I have an expensive piece of paper saying I have a bachelor's degree but I wouldn't have gotten this job if I didn't have my BA. ETA- my job isnt even in the field of my degree.
Mid twenties is well past the time you should have developed your wings and learned to fly away from the parental nest.
First you must learn to live on your own and what the real expenses are vs living at home and riding the wave.
Once you have your daily life and living expenses figured out as a normal adult function .... then you can add on the responsibilities of going to college ...
GOOD LUCK .. |
|
| |
|
 Thread Killer
Posts: 7545
| WTF? Go to college. Your father's paranoia shouldn't stop you from bettering yourself. |
|
| |
|
Industrial Srength Barrel Racer
Posts: 7268
| I'll have to say this is the first time I think I've EVER heard of someone's parents NOT wanting them to go to college!
GO, move out, get a job, get student loans if you have to but GO. If you are in your mid-20s, you could have already been done with this! |
|
| |
|
 Expert
Posts: 1304
| Fill out the FAFSA so you are eligible for loans, possibly grants, and start applying to scholarships. Maybe you'd be eligible for federal work study with your school or find a job elsewhere. It may be difficult financially but it will be doable and if it's something you really want to do go for it! Don't let anyone tell you not to, especially with you being the age that you are. He may be worried but it's time for you to separate yourself and experience life. There are bad things out there but it doesn't mean you have to get involved, and some things still don't make you a bad person. I swore I'd never get into drinking when I went to college (tried it once in high school) and boy did that change. Lol. I'm graduating tomorrow with a Bachelors degree and I've changed so much, grown up so much, and become my own person and the experience is so worth it. I drink occasionally, dance, etc but it doesn't make me a bad person as we're all sinners and I'm still religious. Stick to your personal morals and values if that's what you want but don't restrain yourself or let anyone else for that matter. It may be tough and a change, but you won't regret it! |
|
| |
|
 Saint Stacey
| Is college the real issue with your dad? You said they have a small family business you help run. Reading between the lines I have to wonder if your dad maybe feels that if you go to college instead of following his plan, what he's worked so hard at dies because no one will be there to take his place. That's the only reason I can see why he's against it. The other is just his excuse for hiding his real fear.
You DO need to follow your own dreams. You also need to be prepared to do it on your own if need be. I applaud you for wanting to protect the relationship you have with your parents. As a parent, it can be really hard to let go of your only child. It isn't that you want to hold them back. They've just been such a huge focus for so long that it's hard to watch them walk away. Too many kids anymore are self centered and only think about Self. They don't stop to think what their parents are going through.
I'd recommend coming up with a list of why college will better your future and why this path is what you want to do with your life. Let your dad know you love him and appreciate all he's done/sacrificed, but you need to find your own goals and dreams. |
|
| |
|
Elite Veteran
Posts: 788
| I pretty much agree with everyone else. If I could talk everyone into going to college, I would. It was the best experience of my life! I went to a small public university. I would actually suggest Not doing the community college thing first because I seen many many people that had went that route before going to the university and a lot of the classes they had paid good money for didnt count and it took them twice as long to graduate. But if you want to go to college, please do. They are your parents, they will come around. They love you no matter what.
With that being said, if you want to go into biology, you do need to make sure that you have all your ducks in a row so to speak. There isnt a whole lot of jobs that you can do with just a biology degree, so you need to have a plan for what is to come after that. It is an excellent field and everyone that I know that did it makes great money now but they went on to bigger schools and finished doing whatever it is they were setting out to do.
Also, I want to say that my parents did not help with a single dime of money when I was in college. Go to the Financial aid office first thing! They can give you info on grants (money you dont have to pay back) and other scholarships you may not have known about as well as loans if you must have them. But, if you can avoid loans with a job and such then that is the best thing you can do for yourself. They do give you time to pay your loans back and your payments dont start until after you graduate, but you dont want to owe the government money for the rest of your life!
Good luck! and prayers! college can be rough but so worth it! |
|
| |
|
 Elite Veteran
Posts: 1182
Location: Do I hear Banjos? | You mentioned the bible....perhaps your dad needs a refresher on Proverbs 22:6 ("Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.")
He needs to have faith that his teaching in your youth will carry you down the right path as an adult.
|
|
| |
|
Elite Veteran
Posts: 729
Location: south central usa | SKM - 2016-05-12 5:37 AM
Is college the real issue with your dad? You said they have a small family business you help run. Reading between the lines I have to wonder if your dad maybe feels that if you go to college instead of following his plan, what he's worked so hard at dies because no one will be there to take his place. That's the only reason I can see why he's against it. The other is just his excuse for hiding his real fear.
You DO need to follow your own dreams. You also need to be prepared to do it on your own if need be. I applaud you for wanting to protect the relationship you have with your parents. As a parent, it can be really hard to let go of your only child. It isn't that you want to hold them back. They've just been such a huge focus for so long that it's hard to watch them walk away. Too many kids anymore are self centered and only think about Self. They don't stop to think what their parents are going through.
I'd recommend coming up with a list of why college will better your future and why this path is what you want to do with your life. Let your dad know you love him and appreciate all he's done/sacrificed, but you need to find your own goals and dreams.
this is what I would think as well...whether it be the "business/family plan" or that you are also work in the family business and you would probably be difficult to replace...someone who has a vested interest will work harder/care more than your typical lay person hired off the street |
|
| |
|
 Shelter Dog Lover
Posts: 10277
| Agree with the above. Tell them they raised you right and you are old enough to think for yourself and not let others influence you. |
|
| |
|
 Veteran
Posts: 178
| I think it is awesome that you have so much respect for your parents. You are obviously a very close family. Having said that, I think it's time you may need to leave the nest a little. Change is uncomfortable, but it is how we grow as a person and learn.
I most definitely think you should go to college, and it is great if you can make your family feel like they are part of the decision and will hopefully support your goals. If not, then it's time to put your big girl panties on and step out into the real world and learn to be independent. The money, place to live, and job would all just be excuses for not going. There are so many programs to help you, and some hard work will get you through no problem...how do you think (most of) the rest of us had to do it? I got a job waiting tables and bar tending to pay for my living expenses, and took out loans to pay for my schooling. My college years really helped me to grow and shape me as a person. I really hope you give it a try, I think you'll be glad you did! |
|
| |
|
 Undercover Amish Mafia Member
Posts: 9992
Location: Kansas | Well....you can always do online classes and just not tell your parents  |
|
| |
|
 Take a Picture
Posts: 12841
| As I drove to school the other morning, I thought about some choices that I have made in the past. By far the best choice that I have ever made was finishing college. I got married and lived overseas two years and only lacked 24 hours finishing college. Summer school and fall and I was finished when I came home. Education is about the only thing that no one can take away from you. You feel a sense of accomplishment when you finish. I understand that you are close to your parents but this is a control issue. You can be morally corrupted anywhere not just college. You need to create your own life. You never know when circumstances will change and you have to support yourself. Good luck. |
|
| |
|
 Born not Made
Posts: 2937
Location: North Dakota | mtcanchazer - 2016-05-11 10:49 PM I'm hoping you can maybe give me an idea on what you would do. I want to go to college to get a B.S. in biology, and then further schooling into another field. My issue is my parents don't want me to go to college. My mom is okay about it, but my dad is pretty adamant that college is a bad influence and has corrupted many young people, on a moral perspective not academicly. I believe there is a mixture of both good and bad, in college and the world, and you can separate yourself from certain issues. Plus the first two years of college I can do more than 50% of school online. I have talked with dad before, and dad more or less waffles back and forth between being okay with college and being adamantly against it. Its confusing to say the least.
The only reason this is kind of a problem is I still live with my parents and work with them at the family business. I don't know how to reconcile going to college, my parents not wanting me to, and how to do it while still living at home and working with/for them. I feel I wouldn't be able to afford to go to college without working for/with them and living at home. I love my parents, and do my best to honor them and please them, as I believe what the Bible says about that. But I also feel I'm old enough (I'm in my mid twenties) to make some decisions on my own and that they should be supportive of my decisions. Any advice would be most appreciated as I'm just not sure how to go about this. Thanks much.
There are plenty of people in this world who put themselves through college.
You can too. Might have to make some sacrifices, but I for one believe that EDUCATION is so very important. If you want to go to college, then go.
Do you think your dad doesn't want you to go to college because he wants you to take over the family business someday?? I too have rarely heard of a parent who is NOT supportive of their child going to college! Personally, I think his argument is ridiculous. There are corrupt people in life. Period. They are in the real world. Sounds like your parents raised you to have a good head on your shoulders and so you should have zero trouble navigating college, or real life.
|
|
| |
|
Total Germophobe
Posts: 6443
Location: Montana | I appreciate all the thoughts and ideas. We are a close family, and I respect my parents very much.
It has crossed my mind about my parents business and the effect it would have on it, and dad's ideas about it. I know he doesn't want me to leave the business, but I don't think his feelings on that would interfere it from other things he's mentioned as he'd like to retire in a few years.
From your inspiration I think I have come up with something to say to them. I have filled out FAFSA, so I know I'm eligible for grant aid, but I want to have peaceful relations with them. I also know that if I am able to work it all out that they will allow me to work for them and go to class when I need to.
I also realize I am older than normal to "leave the nest." But I also know that when I was younger I had no idea what I wanted to do. Thanks much for info and ideas. |
|
| |
|
 Expert
Posts: 2457
| mtcanchazer - 2016-05-12 9:45 AM
I appreciate all the thoughts and ideas. We are a close family, and I respect my parents very much.
It has crossed my mind about my parents business and the effect it would have on it, and dad's ideas about it. I know he doesn't want me to leave the business, but I don't think his feelings on that would interfere it from other things he's mentioned as he'd like to retire in a few years.
From your inspiration I think I have come up with something to say to them. I have filled out FAFSA, so I know I'm eligible for grant aid, but I want to have peaceful relations with them. I also know that if I am able to work it all out that they will allow me to work for them and go to class when I need to.
I also realize I am older than normal to "leave the nest." But I also know that when I was younger I had no idea what I wanted to do. Thanks much for info and ideas.
Chin up and hugs. God has a plan and you should too!
I understand both sides - perhaps if you sat down with a solid, well thought out list to discuss with your Dad about all the positive things you could bring back to the farm/ranch after you went to college? You wrote about his desire to retire in the future, so maybe outline how you could help him do that, how a college education can help you successfully take over, and ask for his mentorship and preparation for your take over?
Biology is applicable to many different aspects of ranch. You could minor in something like accounting too? Or even add in an animal science production minor? Maybe even look at range sciences?
I agree with others; I admire your respect for your family, but don't discredit yourself and sacrifice your future for their desires. It is hard, but many (myself included) paid for our own college education and advanced degrees.
Prayers you get it all figured out! |
|
| |
|
 Dog Resuce Agent
Posts: 3459
Location: southeast Texas | IMHO no loans for college. Get grants or a scholarship. Work your way thru college. Graduate debt free.
When you talk with your parents, tell them this is your plan, how you are going to incorporate this into your life. And do they have any ideas, input. Above all else have a plan. !!
You are still under their roof so they are a huge part of this equation. |
|
| |
|
Expert
Posts: 1304
| I agree. Grants and scholarships are best if you can get it. That's what I had. I plan on getting my Masters now and will only do it if I have a GA position, fingers crossed I'll hear about one today! Good luck and hopefully they'll see the benefits of college and that it will better your future. |
|
| |
|
 Elite Veteran
Posts: 602
| College isn't a bad influence, sounds like they want you to work for them. If you want to avoid parties and bad behavior, you can. I worked 20-30 hrs per week and went to school full time. When I was done with my bachelors, I went on to get my Masters. At that point, I worked full time and went to college full time. The experience and degrees pay off. Ive had quicker advancements at my job because I have a Master's degree. Don't be afraid to step outside of your parents' wishes, you are trying to better your future. |
|
| |
|
Total Germophobe
Posts: 6443
Location: Montana | Thank you for the encouragement and the things to think about.  I agree about no loans...my plan is to graduate with as little to no debt, if possible, and I have been working on a plan or plans to do that. My plans/hopes are to go to our community college for the first 2 years, as it is local and offers a lot of transfer options, as I will have to transfer out of town for my last 2 years.
Knowing my parents, I think they are honestly are trying to do their best to look out for my welfare, and I agree I can avoid the parties (I'm not a partier any ways) and the bad stuff. To me school is to learn, not to party. I don't think they are doing deliberately against college to try to keep me in the business, I couldn't believe that of them. I think some of the issues of "back then" they think could happen now, and they want to protect me from that. Their objections have nothing to do with the academics and education, i.e. if I could complete a degree entirely online (which I can't with biology) I think they would be fine with that.
Thanks very much all!
Edited by mtcanchazer 2016-05-12 11:28 AM
|
|
| |
|
Industrial Srength Barrel Racer
Posts: 7268
| Good luck with whatever you decide and keep us posted! |
|
| |
|
Veteran
Posts: 285
| Here's the way I look at it. I too am in my mid 20s and still live at home. If I did move out, there would be no way I could afford my hobbies (horses) on a one person income and still pay all the bills that come with living on your own. I went back to school this past yr. I wanted to better myself and one day be able to afford things. My mom has always said I have a place with her as long as I want it. But I realized my parents won't always be here and I need to be able to make enough to support myself. For me, with out a degree, that would never happen. I think maybe you should tell your dad that. Maybe he would understand more of the college thing if you told him that you need to be able to take care of yourself if something was to happen. It sounds like he is wanting you to run the family business? If that's the case and you might want to, you could still go to school to have a backup plan in the future. Good luck to you |
|
| |
|
Total Germophobe
Posts: 6443
Location: Montana | pepsi97 - 2016-05-12 11:31 AM Here's the way I look at it. I too am in my mid 20s and still live at home. If I did move out, there would be no way I could afford my hobbies (horses) on a one person income and still pay all the bills that come with living on your own. I went back to school this past yr. I wanted to better myself and one day be able to afford things. My mom has always said I have a place with her as long as I want it. But I realized my parents won't always be here and I need to be able to make enough to support myself. For me, with out a degree, that would never happen. I think maybe you should tell your dad that. Maybe he would understand more of the college thing if you told him that you need to be able to take care of yourself if something was to happen. It sounds like he is wanting you to run the family business? If that's the case and you might want to, you could still go to school to have a backup plan in the future. Good luck to you
You and I could are pretty much in the same boat as I couldn't afford my hobbies (horses as well) either if I didn't live at home. And my parents are happy to have me at home. My dad would like me to take over the business, but also understands that while I'm good at it, it may not be for me. I too realize my parents won't always be here, and I won't always have their security. Thank you so much as you, along with others, understand where I am at and have given me some good ideas. |
|
| |
|
 Expert
Posts: 3782
Location: Gainesville, TX | Oh for heavens sakes! I know what they are talking about in the sense that you may be exposed to new ideas, especially liberal ones. I work in an English department at a school, a community college, in a very rural conservative area. Personally I am a moderate but many of my colleagues are quite liberal. Many people in this area think if you are exposed to these ideas you will go to hell, especially older people.
What you might find out is that there are plenty of people who happen to be liberal that are nice enough. You can buy into their ideas or go your own way. Guess what, I went my own way. Some of the ideas made sense to an extent and some didn't. I ended up with a mix of opinions based on the issues. But I will tell you this, I know exactly what I think about the issues and it is because college TAUGHT ME TO THINK ABOUT THEM. I will not give you an opinion that is NOT my opinion but my parents. You are entitled to your own opinion or to at least develop your own opinion too. Guess what, you may still end up having your parents' opinions on a ton of issues BUT you will be able to give your own reasons why you agree.
You are old enough to make up your own mind. And being exposed to things that are new and different and having experiences is all part of college. Being exposed to people who are different from us helps keep us from wanting to kill other groups we don't understand. It is very easy to make sweeping statements about 'kill the enemy' or the 'infidel' when you know nothing about them, their hopes, their dreams, their kids snotty noses. When you understand that others are just as human as you, it makes you more understanding and an easier person to work with. It is easy for extremists to want to kill us because they have not gotten to know us. We have been dehumanized by them. Don't let your parents dehumanize people at college. They are not evil moral monsters. They are simply people like you doing the best they can.
Many conservative parents see college professors as 'evil liberals' bent on world destruction, domination, and brainwashing of their precious babies. They believe they are protecting you. What they may not see is that protection at a certain age and level is actually not protection but stifling. I have a little girl now. I want to protect her from all the world's evils too but it is impossible.
DO NOT the minute you get to college go on drunken binges and wild orgies and you should be fine. If somehow you come up with different conclusions about what is right and wrong than your parents have, then keep it to yourself. I do not agree with my parents' and other radically conservative family members on MANY things. But I know when to keep my mouth shut and ask about other things so as not stir up trouble. I still have great relationships with all of them.
Meanwhile, if you go to college, so many opportunities open up for you in terms of networking and career paths. You can go to a community college, work part time and probably pay all of your tuition out of pocket without having to rack up a ton of debt. If you want to go, go. Your dad should understand that is your life to lead. |
|
| |
|
 A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | mtcanchazer - 2016-05-11 10:49 PM I'm hoping you can maybe give me an idea on what you would do. I want to go to college to get a B.S. in biology, and then further schooling into another field. My issue is my parents don't want me to go to college. My mom is okay about it, but my dad is pretty adamant that college is a bad influence and has corrupted many young people, on a moral perspective not academicly. I believe there is a mixture of both good and bad, in college and the world, and you can separate yourself from certain issues. Plus the first two years of college I can do more than 50% of school online. I have talked with dad before, and dad more or less waffles back and forth between being okay with college and being adamantly against it. Its confusing to say the least.
The only reason this is kind of a problem is I still live with my parents and work with them at the family business. I don't know how to reconcile going to college, my parents not wanting me to, and how to do it while still living at home and working with/for them. I feel I wouldn't be able to afford to go to college without working for/with them and living at home. I love my parents, and do my best to honor them and please them, as I believe what the Bible says about that. But I also feel I'm old enough (I'm in my mid twenties) to make some decisions on my own and that they should be supportive of my decisions. Any advice would be most appreciated as I'm just not sure how to go about this. Thanks much. Awww you sound like a awesome kid and wants to do whats right by your parents and for yourself... so no advice from me, just wanted to give you a big fat hug  And just wanted to add, sounds like your dad is having a hard time letting his baby go.
Edited by Southtxponygirl 2016-05-12 6:48 PM
|
|
| |
|
Total Germophobe
Posts: 6443
Location: Montana | Southtxponygirl - 2016-05-12 5:46 PM mtcanchazer - 2016-05-11 10:49 PM I'm hoping you can maybe give me an idea on what you would do. I want to go to college to get a B.S. in biology, and then further schooling into another field. My issue is my parents don't want me to go to college. My mom is okay about it, but my dad is pretty adamant that college is a bad influence and has corrupted many young people, on a moral perspective not academicly. I believe there is a mixture of both good and bad, in college and the world, and you can separate yourself from certain issues. Plus the first two years of college I can do more than 50% of school online. I have talked with dad before, and dad more or less waffles back and forth between being okay with college and being adamantly against it. Its confusing to say the least.
The only reason this is kind of a problem is I still live with my parents and work with them at the family business. I don't know how to reconcile going to college, my parents not wanting me to, and how to do it while still living at home and working with/for them. I feel I wouldn't be able to afford to go to college without working for/with them and living at home. I love my parents, and do my best to honor them and please them, as I believe what the Bible says about that. But I also feel I'm old enough (I'm in my mid twenties) to make some decisions on my own and that they should be supportive of my decisions. Any advice would be most appreciated as I'm just not sure how to go about this. Thanks much. Awww you sound like a awesome kid and wants to do whats right by your parents and for yourself... so no advice from me, just wanted to give you a big fat hug And just wanted to add, sounds like your dad is having a hard time letting his baby go.
Love ya, Roxie! Thanks. I think you are right about dad letting me go. According to mom, I'll always be their baby girl, as I'm the youngest, so I think you are right that is part of it. |
|
| |
|
Veteran
Posts: 285
| mtcanchazer - 2016-05-12 3:00 PM
pepsi97 - 2016-05-12 11:31 AM Here's the way I look at it. I too am in my mid 20s and still live at home. If I did move out, there would be no way I could afford my hobbies (horses) on a one person income and still pay all the bills that come with living on your own. I went back to school this past yr. I wanted to better myself and one day be able to afford things. My mom has always said I have a place with her as long as I want it. But I realized my parents won't always be here and I need to be able to make enough to support myself. For me, with out a degree, that would never happen. I think maybe you should tell your dad that. Maybe he would understand more of the college thing if you told him that you need to be able to take care of yourself if something was to happen. It sounds like he is wanting you to run the family business? If that's the case and you might want to, you could still go to school to have a backup plan in the future. Good luck to you
You and I could are pretty much in the same boat as I couldn't afford my hobbies (horses as well) either if I didn't live at home. And my parents are happy to have me at home. My dad would like me to take over the business, but also understands that while I'm good at it, it may not be for me. I too realize my parents won't always be here, and I won't always have their security. Thank you so much as you, along with others, understand where I am at and have given me some good ideas.
You are welcome. :) I hope it all works out. I'm for education and I just know I would regret it if I never went to school. I waited a awhile to go back but glad I did. I want kids some day and know I can't support them on a minimum wage job. If you ever need to talk you can pm me :) |
|
| |
|
Total Germophobe
Posts: 6443
Location: Montana | pepsi97 - 2016-05-12 8:45 PM mtcanchazer - 2016-05-12 3:00 PM pepsi97 - 2016-05-12 11:31 AM Here's the way I look at it. I too am in my mid 20s and still live at home. If I did move out, there would be no way I could afford my hobbies (horses) on a one person income and still pay all the bills that come with living on your own. I went back to school this past yr. I wanted to better myself and one day be able to afford things. My mom has always said I have a place with her as long as I want it. But I realized my parents won't always be here and I need to be able to make enough to support myself. For me, with out a degree, that would never happen. I think maybe you should tell your dad that. Maybe he would understand more of the college thing if you told him that you need to be able to take care of yourself if something was to happen. It sounds like he is wanting you to run the family business? If that's the case and you might want to, you could still go to school to have a backup plan in the future. Good luck to you You and I could are pretty much in the same boat as I couldn't afford my hobbies (horses as well) either if I didn't live at home. And my parents are happy to have me at home. My dad would like me to take over the business, but also understands that while I'm good at it, it may not be for me. I too realize my parents won't always be here, and I won't always have their security. Thank you so much as you, along with others, understand where I am at and have given me some good ideas. You are welcome. : ) I hope it all works out. I'm for education and I just know I would regret it if I never went to school. I waited a awhile to go back but glad I did. I want kids some day and know I can't support them on a minimum wage job. If you ever need to talk you can pm me : )
Thank you so much, that is very kind of you.  |
|
| |
|
Nut Case Expert
Posts: 9305
Location: Tulsa, Ok | I figure every parent has a max of eighteen years to instill your children with values, morals, common sense, teach them to think for themselves and prepare them to deal in the adult world. If you fail to succeed in that time frame I seriously doubt that sheltering from outside influences (including college) is going to further that goal. |
|
| |
|
 Loves to compete
Posts: 5760
Location: Oakdale, CA | I would continue working for the family business and go to school online. Get your 2 year degree first. You can disagree with them respectfully. If I were you I would pay for every red cent at a community college yourself. Even if you have to go to night courses just don't let it interfere with your job. They don't have to agree with you.... |
|
| |
|
 Elite Veteran
Posts: 1062
Location: Probably On the Road to the Next Barrel Race! | sent you a pm |
|
| |
|
  Fact Checker
Posts: 16575
Location: Displaced Iowegian | You have received a lot of GOOD advice so I won't repeat...... But Thank You for being the respectful and caring daughter that your parents have successfully raised. I just wish that more young people were like you. Good Luck !  |
|
| |
|
Total Germophobe
Posts: 6443
Location: Montana | I'm thankful for all the advice, and I'm also thankful of those that see me respectful as a daughter and understand where I'm at. I appreciate all you have said and the advice given. 
CrossCreek: I didn't receive a PM from you.  |
|
| |
|
Total Germophobe
Posts: 6443
Location: Montana | Update: Since some of you wanted an update, I thought I would. I took the plunge, and spoke with my dad, and I couldn't have had a better response! It seems like I worried all for nothing. So I plan on taking some classes this fall, and I'm very excited, quite a bit nervous, and a little scared (it has been about 7 years since I've gone to school). I've been planning for a long time on how to do all this and setting things up to work the smoothest, and it is such a weight off my shoulders to say what I wanted to say (and I did it nicely), and I'm so happy. THANK YOU all for all your help and advice!
Edited by mtcanchazer 2016-07-21 3:02 PM
|
|
| |
|
Go Get Em!
Posts: 13503
Location: OH. IO | WAY TO GO!!!!! Good luck in school and keep the communication open with your parents:) |
|
| |
|
A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | mtcanchazer - 2016-07-21 3:00 PM Update: Since some of you wanted an update, I thought I would. I took the plunge, and spoke with my dad, and I couldn't have had a better response! It seems like I worried all for nothing. So I plan on taking some classes this fall, and I'm very excited, quite a bit nervous, and a little scared (it has been about 7 years since I've gone to school). I've been planning for a long time on how to do all this and setting things up to work the smoothest, and it is such a weight off my shoulders to say what I wanted to say (and I did it nicely), and I'm so happy. THANK YOU all for all your help and advice!
Awesome
|
|
| |
|
 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 434
Location: Northwest Florida | Good to hear you are getting it worked out! I understand wanting to keep peaceful relations with your family, but you should not ever let that hold you back from what you want to get out of YOUR life. It is on them to support you.
I just want to comment on the degree you're seeking - you said a BS in biology then move into another field. If it sparks your interest I highly highly highly recommend looking into becoming a medical technologist. There are so few of us, every hospital in my area is short handed and I am constantly receiving job offers. I have a coworker with a BS in Bio that is a Med Tech. Pay is good, jobs are plenty, and it's a job where you learn something every day!
Good luck to you! |
|
| |
|
Take a Picture
Posts: 12841
| One of the things that I feel is most valuable in my life is my college degree. Follow through on this. |
|
| |
|
 Namesless in BHW
Posts: 10368
Location: At the race track with Ah Dee Ohs | Good for you! Good luck. |
|
| |
|
Shelter Dog Lover
Posts: 10277
| Good luck! Enjoy your new adventure! |
|
| |
|
 Ms. Elvis
Posts: 9606
Location: Running barrels or watching nascar | I returned to community college after a seven-year hiatus because I finally found a career I wanted, other than horses. Out of HS and my first year of college, I didn't know what I wanted to do. It has been tough but I'm not that far from finishing associates, and I'm doing it online so it's not in a classroom full of 'kids'. Whether I go for a bachelor's depends on if the company I want to work for thinks I'm talented enough but I have to prove myself behind the keyboard. I write sports stories. It has been difficult but I still think it's worth it. |
|
| |
|
Total Germophobe
Posts: 6443
Location: Montana | BigStarBound - 2016-07-21 2:13 PM Good to hear you are getting it worked out! I understand wanting to keep peaceful relations with your family, but you should not ever let that hold you back from what you want to get out of YOUR life. It is on them to support you. I just want to comment on the degree you're seeking - you said a BS in biology then move into another field. If it sparks your interest I highly highly highly recommend looking into becoming a medical technologist. There are so few of us, every hospital in my area is short handed and I am constantly receiving job offers. I have a coworker with a BS in Bio that is a Med Tech. Pay is good, jobs are plenty, and it's a job where you learn something every day! Good luck to you!
Thank you! That is actually one of the ideas I've thought of (about being a medical technologist) if plan A doesn't work out. My other plans were biology teacher, something in the medical field (such as what you suggested) or a job with our state. |
|
| |
|
Total Germophobe
Posts: 6443
Location: Montana | Thank you all! This has been a big decision for me, and one of many challenges I'm sure I'll face, but as John Wayne put it, "Courage is being scared to death and saddling up any ways." I think I better go check my cinch...its going to be an interesting ride. |
|
| |
|
Take a Picture
Posts: 12841
| I have a few suggestions
MAKE SURE YOU ARE TAKING COURSES FROM AN ACCREDITED SCHOOL
speak with a counselor and get a graduation plan set up. That way you won't be just taking random courses.
Take your basic or core classes fist. These will count toward any major in case you decide to change.
There are several places on line that rent textbooks. This is a good option as textbooks can cost $150 up.
Good luck |
|
| |
|
Fact Checker
Posts: 16575
Location: Displaced Iowegian |  |
|
| |
|
Undercover Amish Mafia Member
Posts: 9992
Location: Kansas | streakysox - 2016-07-21 10:03 PM I have a few suggestions MAKE SURE YOU ARE TAKING COURSES FROM AN ACCREDITED SCHOOL speak with a counselor and get a graduation plan set up. That way you won't be just taking random courses. Take your basic or core classes fist. These will count toward any major in case you decide to change. There are several places on line that rent textbooks. This is a good option as textbooks can cost $150 up. Good luck
Definitely this, or that the credits are able to be transferred to other schools.
When I started my pre-nursing classes, i found out the day after I started classes that my credits couldn't be transferred to the school I wanted to take my LPN course at. I was luckily able to get enrolled in another school for my online classes that were able to transfer to any school. |
|
| |
|
Total Germophobe
Posts: 6443
Location: Montana | I have been looking into that, and have been doing my homework to make sure that my courses transfer. I will be going to a state school that is a 2 year school only (transfer degrees and associate degrees and certificates), and the way the Montana system is set up, you are supposed to be easily able to transfer courses to any college in state; they also keep the course numbering similar or the same to make it simpler throughout all colleges in state. I will double check as I go through everything to make sure that happens, because I sure don't want to waste my time.
Thanks again! |
|
| |
|
My Heart Be Happy
Posts: 9159
Location: Arkansas | mtcanchazer - 2016-07-21 3:00 PM
Update: Since some of you wanted an update, I thought I would. I took the plunge, and spoke with my dad, and I couldn't have had a better response! It seems like I worried all for nothing. So I plan on taking some classes this fall, and I'm very excited, quite a bit nervous, and a little scared (it has been about 7 years since I've gone to school). I've been planning for a long time on how to do all this and setting things up to work the smoothest, and it is such a weight off my shoulders to say what I wanted to say (and I did it nicely), and I'm so happy. THANK YOU all for all your help and advice!
Good for you and so proud of the way you handled things. Very respectable and mature |
|
| |
|
Extreme Veteran
Posts: 434
Location: Northwest Florida | mtcanchazer - 2016-07-21 9:37 PM
BigStarBound - 2016-07-21 2:13 PM Good to hear you are getting it worked out! I understand wanting to keep peaceful relations with your family, but you should not ever let that hold you back from what you want to get out of YOUR life. It is on them to support you. I just want to comment on the degree you're seeking - you said a BS in biology then move into another field. If it sparks your interest I highly highly highly recommend looking into becoming a medical technologist. There are so few of us, every hospital in my area is short handed and I am constantly receiving job offers. I have a coworker with a BS in Bio that is a Med Tech. Pay is good, jobs are plenty, and it's a job where you learn something every day! Good luck to you!
Thank you! That is actually one of the ideas I've thought of (about being a medical technologist) if plan A doesn't work out. My other plans were biology teacher, something in the medical field (such as what you suggested) or a job with our state.
I think it's cool that you've even thought about it... Most people have never heard of us lab geeks behind the scenes.
I love it though! Good luck!!
Edited by BigStarBound 2016-07-24 1:27 PM
|
|
| |
UPDATE 7-21-16, on page 2! OT - If it were you, what would you do?