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Regular
Posts: 68
| ..INSIST meaning JUST DOES help... helping, helping helping, doing doing doing for you and seems so excited, then cries and moans about exhaustion and they make the person they INSISTED on helping feel so bad. Its not horse related, its father - in - law related. He ALWAYS helps (not momentarily) but I truly feel he does it to be manipulative and to play hero, to look good, to ask us what WE did. He does it to trump everyone else, for domination reasons? Please help me understand... what is this type of person considered and how are they dealt with? Do they naturally live like feeling they are not valued? I just don't understand... its NOT a take take take situation at all, for cripes sake we are all career adults and are capable. I'm struggling with this, have for 6 years, and I'm becoming intolerant. | |
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 Serious Snap Trapper
Posts: 4275
 
Location: In The Snow, AZ | Possibly a form of Narcissism? I know someone, my mother in law, who is a lovely person. She truly has a good heart. But everything is taken to such extremes. It's either "I'm so great", "everyone loves me", "everyone comes to me for help", "I'm so good at (insert whatever here)". And she will do anything in her power to make the statement true. But the second she's not akmowledged for whatever it is, it's "nobody cares about me", "I'm never good enough", "Nobody appreciates what I do".
I'm not sure if that relates to your situation, but it does sound like there may be similarities... | |
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Regular
Posts: 68
| ~BINGO~ - 2016-06-10 9:33 AM
Possibly a form of Narcissism? I know someone, my mother in law, who is a lovely person. She truly has a good heart. But everything is taken to such extremes. It's either "I'm so great", "everyone loves me", "everyone comes to me for help", "I'm so good at (insert whatever here)". And she will do anything in her power to make the statement true. But the second she's not akmowledged for whatever it is, it's "nobody cares about me", "I'm never good enough", "Nobody appreciates what I do".
I'm not sure if that relates to your situation, but it does sound like there may be similarities...
I think you are on to something, Bingo. He does have a son who we have always said is a narcissist. Thanks for the input. Just like your MIL, he is also an outrageous extremist. Sometimes I just want to tranquilize him lol. Thanks again.
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 878
Location: "...way down south in the Everglades..." | I call them a PITA!
But seriously I think it is actually a form of narcissism. I think he probably actually feel superior and has such a high self image that when he isn't met with immediate praise he feels others undervalue him. Truth though is he's likely very insecure and "needs" the rush of praise and the feeling of playing hero. Unfortunately these people usually do not feel they have a problem and would likely never admit it as that would show weakness, which is what they try so above and beyond to display that they are anything but weak. | |
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 Expert
Posts: 1395
Location: Missouri | Reester - 2016-06-10 9:38 AM
~BINGO~ - 2016-06-10 9:33 AM
Possibly a form of Narcissism? I know someone, my mother in law, who is a lovely person. She truly has a good heart. But everything is taken to such extremes. It's either "I'm so great", "everyone loves me", "everyone comes to me for help", "I'm so good at (insert whatever here)". And she will do anything in her power to make the statement true. But the second she's not akmowledged for whatever it is, it's "nobody cares about me", "I'm never good enough", "Nobody appreciates what I do".
I'm not sure if that relates to your situation, but it does sound like there may be similarities...
I think you are on to something, Bingo. He does have a son who we have always said is a narcissist. Thanks for the input. Just like your MIL, he is also an outrageous extremist. Sometimes I just want to tranquilize him lol. Thanks again.
Yes to a form of narcissism, and definitely controlling. I feel like I'm the past, my in laws have done a lot of helpful nice things just to point it out in public later, ('this is what we did for them!' Or 'we gave them this!') or bring it up to us later, etc etc. it's a control thing with them at least. Sorry you're dealing with this. In law relationships can be...interesting. To say the least. | |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 929
| A Martyr. "I sacrificed my OWN well being/time/whatever to help YOU, and you are so ungrateful/unappreciative and now I'm sick/injured/exhausted." I CAN'T STAND that type! | |
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  Keeper of the King Snake
Posts: 7622
Location: Dubach, LA | RodeoCowgirl4u - 2016-06-10 2:47 PM A Martyr. "I sacrificed my OWN well being/time/whatever to help YOU, and you are so ungrateful/unappreciative and now I'm sick/injured/exhausted." I CAN'T STAND that type!
THIS. My mother is president of that club... | |
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