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| I have a "friend" who's horse just tore a ligament and will be out for the rest of the summer. She not so subtly implied that she's going to need to borrow a horse. And of course, out of fourteen to choose from, she wants to ride the one that is not so rock solid and super easy to screw up. The girl is my mom's friend's daughter, so we obviously have to be friends too. I walked her through everything about this horse, how you don't even think about touching her mouth because she's super sensitive, all that stuff. I just gave in and let her take the horse to a youth rodeo for the sake of my mom, and I am just going to say that this girl is a terrible rider. Did the exact opposite of what I told her to and yanked her face around every barrel, and wound up hitting all of them because of it. Now she wants to borrow again this weekend, but she has never come to my house to work on drills or anything, just wants to run my horse. I have talked to my mom about this, and my mom agrees that it's not great, but is telling me to just be generous. I have also brought up using a different one of my horses but she flat out refuses because this one is a palomino. I am trying to just let it go and be kind, but I am having a really hard time with it. Should I just take the horse back and say no or try to put up with this? |
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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 310
Location: North Dakota | Always do what's right for the horse. In this case, it means NOT letting the girl ride it. |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 851
 
Location: West Texas | Take the horse back and say no. Offering another horse would be "more" than generous. If she is entitled and ungrateful, then missing rodeos would do her some good.
Edited by Tdove 2016-07-25 3:25 PM
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 It's not my fault I'm perfect
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Location: Where the long tails flow, ND | shakeit0410 - 2016-07-25 3:20 PM Always do what's right for the horse. In this case, it means NOT letting the girl ride it.
This ^ and have your mom back you up since it's her friends daugther? Not fair for the horse at all.... |
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Veteran
Posts: 234
| Offering another horse is generous but do not let her borrow the sensitive one it might take you years to undo what she does in one weekend. Sounds rather spoiled to me. I don't mean to sound cruel but have ruined more friendships over letting a friend use a horse that we have learned to just say NO if that breaks up a friendship then so be it |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 912
Location: Alabama | No. NO. NO! I would not let that kid on any of my horses again period. If she appreciated it she would ride the one you offered and she would come ride in the mean time. |
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 A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | So your saying that this girl has not taking any riding lessons on this horse and just taking it to run at rodeos? She needs to take some lessons to learn how to ride from you befor she rides any of your horses. There would be no way I would let someone just take one of my horses, dont care who they are if they cant ride they have no bussiness on your horse. So just say no. Let her go borrow someones eles horse. |
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  Fact Checker
Posts: 16572
Location: Displaced Iowegian | Just say.....NO ! |
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 Shelter Dog Lover
Posts: 10277
| Nope, no way. You can handle it in a nice way, with a big smile just say you think she would get along better with x horse, no commenting on her lack of skills. On another note, why in the world does someone borrowing a horse feel entitled to dictate which horse they borrow? I hope she appreciates your generosity. Go get the palomino.
Edited by rodeomom3 2016-07-25 4:18 PM
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 678
Location: Canada | Oh heck no. If someone is kind enough to lend you a horse you thank them profusely, and hang on every word they say about how they like their horse rode. You get as much help as possible and spend as much time as you can with that horse and their owner.
Is she going to undo the damage that is done to that horse when she's finished with it? No! If she ruins it or sours it on barrels then you're the one left holding the reins on a horse that doesn't want to do it anymore, or has more issues then you can count.
If you want to lend her a horse give her the old faithful, easy to ride, can run with a bag on it's head horse. If she doesn't want it that's her problem and she can find a horse elsewhere.
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 Off the Wall Wacky
Posts: 2981
Location: Louisiana | It is YOUR horse to do with as you please. Do NOT feel guilty about not allowing someone else to ride it.
I had a friend ask to borrow my not-so-easy to ride gelding for a weekend barrel race. She had prepaid her fees and her horse had been messing up and she didn't want to waste money.
My reasons for saying no:
1. She expected me to say yes. This bothers me.
2. She was driving 5 hours away, and I wasn't attending the race.
3. I know she can't ride him. Sorry, not sorry. I can barely ride him.
4. Her horse wasn't injured, and he didn't start messing up after she paid up. He's been running the same pattern for months.
5. I've seen her care for her own horse. After a bad run, she once loaded him up saddled, still booted up for the ride home. Nope.
Do what you want. You don't have to share.
My response to my friend? Sorry, but I don't let anyone ride my horses. If she wouldn't pushed, I would've started naming off reasons mentioned above. |
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Expert
Posts: 1314
Location: North Central Iowa Land of white frozen grass | I don't loan my wife or daughters out to my friends and I don't expect I don't loan out my horses ether. |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 889
| No, nope, nada, no way, don't even think about it. This coming from the gal who has a mild panic attack when her husband has to do the chores. |
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 Witty Enough
Posts: 2954
Location: CTX | Nope, no way no how.
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 Famous for Not Complaining
Posts: 8848
Location: Broxton, Ga | NJJ - 2016-07-24 5:10 PM Just say.....NO !
Exactly.......... |
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Regular
Posts: 62
| I let a friend use my old rodeo horse to use for our local barrel club and a few races here and there this year. She rode with me, listened to what I had to say and is trying very hard to ride him like I tell her. Now he is older, hauled a lot, can take a lot of rider errors (I know, I make tons all the time). She rides him awesome, to be honest, a lot better than I do. Now, I just sold a horse to a gal and she started off great with him, was only about a half second off of where I was with him (He has a great pattern on him but not finished). Then she started changing bits and headgear and his style. I feel she listens to others about him and what to try but not me. I know this horse, I put the long tough hours on him so it is very frustrating to me to see her take others advice over mine. I am not perfect but I know the horse and feel my advice should at least be considered, and maybe it is but I don't feel it. I sold this horse so I can't take him back but sometimes I wish I could. I have offered to ride with her to help her and it just doesn't seem to work out where we can. I need to let go but I know this horse has so much potential to be a super nice 2D horse if not faster. Anyways, my point is if she isn't interested in at least trying to learn and ride more to the horses style then maybe the generous thing for you to do is offer the other horses you have that may fit her better. IMO. |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 695
Location: Windoming | I feel she listens to others about him and what to try but not me. I know this horse, I put the long tough hours on him so it is very frustrating to me to see her take others advice over mine.
Isn't that frustrating? I see it all the time, and I don't understand why people listen to someone who doesn't even know the horse....... |
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 Expert
Posts: 1304
| I haven't read the other responses, but her just not being gracious and taking whatever one YOU want to let her ride tells me she's being spoiled.. and then not wanting that horse because it's a palomino is immature. I'd talk to her and her mom and just tell them you're not comfortable with her using this horse, and that she can use this horse or this horse, etc. If they don't like that then that's tough. She should be thankful you're even letting her use one!!
Edited by blccwgl55 2016-07-26 12:09 PM
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Regular
Posts: 62
| Silly Filly - 2016-07-26 11:49 AM
I feel she listens to others about him and what to try but not me. I know this horse, I put the long tough hours on him so it is very frustrating to me to see her take others advice over mine.
Isn't that frustrating? I see it all the time, and I don't understand why people listen to someone who doesn't even know the horse.......
Maybe she does take my advice but feels it doesn't help or work. To me it just seems like she takes others advice over mine. I don't know why. I want her to be successful on this horse. I feel she is trying to change his style as where I like to give them a great foundation and then let them go with their style. Maybe that's wrong I'm not sure. |
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 I hate cooking and cleaning
Posts: 3310
Location: Jersey Girl | I would take the horse back.
Due to health issues I have not been able to ride since Thanksgiving. Met a girl at my barn, decided to let her start riding my horse. I figured it was better then having him stand around while I can't ride. This girl is a decent rider BUT she ended up making his back sore because of how she positions herself at the trot. My horse started bucking with her. And he is NOT a bucker. Had him chiro'd and massaged and he was sore in areas consistent with her riding style. So now he will have to stand around until I can ride......
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 929
| Tell her no. That's just plain rude, IMO. And for your mom and her friend to pressure you...also not cool.
Too bad she wants to ride the horse because it's a pretty color. I want to be a size 2 and be a billionaire. Both are not gonna happen. I can't believe the gall of some people. |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 812
Location: north mississippi | NO NO get your horse back! |
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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 382
| I would tell her NO!! but since she is a "friend" and seems a little spoiled lol try to convince her to ride another one (it will run faster...) or when she gets the horse if she still wants the palomino say the horse is off or sick or you don't have it's coggins or health papers... I am guilty of doing this a couple times but for different reasons and it has worked but IDK Good Luck!! |
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Veteran
Posts: 110
| Thank you all for the responses. I told her to get off when I saw her warming up in a tie down, which I have never ever used on this horse and never plan to. She told me she needed one because she wouldn't listen and I told her that I have ran this horse in just a tie down with the strap wrapped her neck as "reins" when my bridle fell apart. The girl was pretty upset because she had already payed her entry fees and because I had convinced her to sign up for all of the events that she could, including two fifty dollar jackpots, without knowing I was going to take my horse back. 
Edited by camillamarie 2016-07-27 4:29 PM
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 929
| sounds like a spoiled brat. She needs a good old fashioned spanking...not a pick of several horses. Uggh. |
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Expert
Posts: 1304
| I don't know if I read it right so correct me if I'm misreading!! Did you say you encouraged her to sign up and pay for all of these classes, knowing you were taking your horse back? |
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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 434
Location: Northwest Florida | I'm with everyone else... say NO! |
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Fact Checker
Posts: 16572
Location: Displaced Iowegian | blccwgl55 - 2016-07-27 2:32 PM I don't know if I read it right so correct me if I'm misreading!! Did you say you encouraged her to sign up and pay for all of these classes, knowing you were taking your horse back?
^^^^ THIS ??????
IF you did, she has every right to be PO'd....notice I said "IF" !!! |
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Veteran
Posts: 110
| No sorry guys, I meant to put a "without" in there. It was supposed to say without knowing. I was hoping maybe they would get to know each other with a few more runs, but then she put the tie down on without even consulting me. I felt bad because I made her spend over $100. Sorry for the confusion. I should have made my response clearer. |
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Fact Checker
Posts: 16572
Location: Displaced Iowegian | camillamarie - 2016-07-27 4:28 PM No sorry guys, I meant to put a "without" in there. It was supposed to say without knowing. I was hoping maybe they would get to know each other with a few more runs, but then she put the tie down on without even consulting me. I felt bad because I made her spend over $100. Sorry for the confusion. I should have made my response clearer.
To be fair, I think you should re-pay her some of the entry fees or provide a different horse for her to use. JMO |
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Veteran
Posts: 119
Location: NeverLand | Defiantly NO!! do what is right for the horse! years of hard work and training can be undone in a matter of seconds. Its not worth it for the sake of the horse. or all your hard work |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 999
Location: Sunny So Cal | I wouldn't pay anything back to her. Putting stuff on your horse and not consulting first or even trying to get to know the horse. To me that is over stepping the boundaries. You were being nicer than I would have been. I don't loan out my horses. I did that once before and it took me a year to get him close to normal again and the woman only leased him for 2 months. |
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A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | camillamarie - 2016-07-27 4:28 PM No sorry guys, I meant to put a "without" in there. It was supposed to say without knowing. I was hoping maybe they would get to know each other with a few more runs, but then she put the tie down on without even consulting me. I felt bad because I made her spend over $100. Sorry for the confusion. I should have made my response clearer.
LOL. now I'm confused, you felt bad because you made her spend over 100.00?  On what...  |
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Fact Checker
Posts: 16572
Location: Displaced Iowegian | Southtxponygirl - 2016-07-27 5:53 PM camillamarie - 2016-07-27 4:28 PM No sorry guys, I meant to put a "without" in there. It was supposed to say without knowing. I was hoping maybe they would get to know each other with a few more runs, but then she put the tie down on without even consulting me. I felt bad because I made her spend over $100. Sorry for the confusion. I should have made my response clearer. LOL. now I'm confused, you felt bad because you made her spend over 100.00? On what...
Because she didn't tell her that she couldn't use the horse until after she had paid that amount in entry fees...... |
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A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | NJJ - 2016-07-27 6:04 PM Southtxponygirl - 2016-07-27 5:53 PM camillamarie - 2016-07-27 4:28 PM No sorry guys, I meant to put a "without" in there. It was supposed to say without knowing. I was hoping maybe they would get to know each other with a few more runs, but then she put the tie down on without even consulting me. I felt bad because I made her spend over $100. Sorry for the confusion. I should have made my response clearer. LOL. now I'm confused, you felt bad because you made her spend over 100.00? On what...
Oh heck, hope that she can help the girl get back the paid entry moneys..I guess the girl thought she had the use of the mare, well that just bites.. |
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Go Get Em!
Posts: 13503
Location: OH. IO | camillamarie - 2016-07-27 3:25 PM
Thank you all for the responses. I told her to get off when I saw her warming up in a tie down, which I have never ever used on this horse and never plan to. She told me she needed one because she wouldn't listen and I told her that I have ran this horse in just a tie down with the strap wrapped her neck as "reins" when my bridle fell apart. The girl was pretty upset because she had already payed her entry fees and because I had convinced her to sign up for all of the events that she could, including two fifty dollar jackpots, without knowing I was going to take my horse back.
Did you mess up here too or did I read wrong????you said she put a tie down on and you said you never would put a tie down on this horse however your next sentence says you used the tie down and strap when your bridle broke.im wondering who the spoiled selfish one is here in this situation. |
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The Advice Guru
Posts: 6419
| jake16 - 2016-07-28 8:53 PM
camillamarie - 2016-07-27 3:25 PM
Thank you all for the responses. I told her to get off when I saw her warming up in a tie down, which I have never ever used on this horse and never plan to. She told me she needed one because she wouldn't listen and I told her that I have ran this horse in just a tie down with the strap wrapped her neck as "reins" when my bridle fell apart. The girl was pretty upset because she had already payed her entry fees and because I had convinced her to sign up for all of the events that she could, including two fifty dollar jackpots, without knowing I was going to take my horse back.
Did you mess up here too or did I read wrong????you said she put a tie down on and you said you never would put a tie down on this horse however your next sentence says you used the tie down and strap when your bridle broke.im wondering who the spoiled selfish one is here in this situation.
From how I read what got you confused.
Is after her bridle broke, she put the tie down but used it as a bosal and ran her that way. Sort of like running a horse in a halter and lead shank. |
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Go Get Em!
Posts: 13503
Location: OH. IO | cheryl makofka - 2016-07-28 10:03 PM jake16 - 2016-07-28 8:53 PM camillamarie - 2016-07-27 3:25 PMThank you all for the responses. I told her to get off when I saw her warming up in a tie down, which I have never ever used on this horse and never plan to. She told me she needed one because she wouldn't listen and I told her that I have ran this horse in just a tie down with the strap wrapped her neck as "reins" when my bridle fell apart. The girl was pretty upset because she had already payed her entry fees and because I had convinced her to sign up for all of the events that she could, including two fifty dollar jackpots, without knowing I was going to take my horse back. Did you mess up here too or did I read wrong????you said she put a tie down on and you said you never would put a tie down on this horse however your next sentence says you used the tie down and strap when your bridle broke.im wondering who the spoiled selfish one is here in this situation. From how I read what got you confused.Is after her bridle broke, she put the tie down but used it as a bosal and ran her that way. Sort of like running a horse in a halter and lead shank.
Edited by jake16 2016-07-28 9:55 PM
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A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | jake16 - 2016-07-28 8:53 PM camillamarie - 2016-07-27 3:25 PM Thank you all for the responses. I told her to get off when I saw her warming up in a tie down, which I have never ever used on this horse and never plan to. She told me she needed one because she wouldn't listen and I told her that I have ran this horse in just a tie down with the strap wrapped her neck as "reins" when my bridle fell apart. The girl was pretty upset because she had already payed her entry fees and because I had convinced her to sign up for all of the events that she could, including two fifty dollar jackpots, without knowing I was going to take my horse back. Did you mess up here too or did I read wrong????you said she put a tie down on and you said you never would put a tie down on this horse however your next sentence says you used the tie down and strap when your bridle broke.im wondering who the spoiled selfish one is here in this situation.
I read it the same way as you did Jake, I'm thinking hummm a tie down? I even had to read it a few times trying to see if I was reading it right, lol..Oh well our mistake. |
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Go Get Em!
Posts: 13503
Location: OH. IO | Southtxponygirl - 2016-07-28 11:07 PM jake16 - 2016-07-28 8:53 PM camillamarie - 2016-07-27 3:25 PM Thank you all for the responses. I told her to get off when I saw her warming up in a tie down, which I have never ever used on this horse and never plan to. She told me she needed one because she wouldn't listen and I told her that I have ran this horse in just a tie down with the strap wrapped her neck as "reins" when my bridle fell apart. The girl was pretty upset because she had already payed her entry fees and because I had convinced her to sign up for all of the events that she could, including two fifty dollar jackpots, without knowing I was going to take my horse back. Did you mess up here too or did I read wrong????you said she put a tie down on and you said you never would put a tie down on this horse however your next sentence says you used the tie down and strap when your bridle broke.im wondering who the spoiled selfish one is here in this situation.
Edited by jake16 2016-07-28 10:36 PM
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A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | jake16 - 2016-07-28 10:34 PM
Southtxponygirl - 2016-07-28 11:07 PM jake16 - 2016-07-28 8:53 PM camillamarie - 2016-07-27 3:25 PM Thank you all for the responses. I told her to get off when I saw her warming up in a tie down, which I have never ever used on this horse and never plan to. She told me she needed one because she wouldn't listen and I told her that I have ran this horse in just a tie down with the strap wrapped her neck as "reins" when my bridle fell apart. The girl was pretty upset because she had already payed her entry fees and because I had convinced her to sign up for all of the events that she could, including two fifty dollar jackpots, without knowing I was going to take my horse back. Did you mess up here too or did I read wrong????you said she put a tie down on and you said you never would put a tie down on this horse however your next sentence says you used the tie down and strap when your bridle broke.im wondering who the spoiled selfish one is here in this situation. lol.we all make mistakes.I will say one thing though.if that is the OPs photo on her thingy (lol.im drawing a total blank )...she is a beautiful girl and should do some modeling!!dang!
I think the thingy is called a Avatar, but could be wrong again, lol.. |
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Go Get Em!
Posts: 13503
Location: OH. IO | Southtxponygirl - 2016-07-28 11:42 PM
jake16 - 2016-07-28 10:34 PM
Southtxponygirl - 2016-07-28 11:07 PM jake16 - 2016-07-28 8:53 PM camillamarie - 2016-07-27 3:25 PM Thank you all for the responses. I told her to get off when I saw her warming up in a tie down, which I have never ever used on this horse and never plan to. She told me she needed one because she wouldn't listen and I told her that I have ran this horse in just a tie down with the strap wrapped her neck as "reins" when my bridle fell apart. The girl was pretty upset because she had already payed her entry fees and because I had convinced her to sign up for all of the events that she could, including two fifty dollar jackpots, without knowing I was going to take my horse back. Did you mess up here too or did I read wrong????you said she put a tie down on and you said you never would put a tie down on this horse however your next sentence says you used the tie down and strap when your bridle broke.im wondering who the spoiled selfish one is here in this situation. lol.we all make mistakes.I will say one thing though.if that is the OPs photo on her thingy (lol.im drawing a total blank )...she is a beautiful girl and should do some modeling!!dang!
I think the thingy is called a Avatar, but could be wrong again, lol..
Yes!!!omgosh.im just so tired I need to quit for the nite! Now...back to the original program.......  |
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Veteran
Posts: 110
| Sorry for my terrible posting job. I made this whole thing super unclear and it's kind of a mess. Sorry again. |
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Go Get Em!
Posts: 13503
Location: OH. IO | camillamarie - 2016-07-28 11:48 PM
Sorry for my terrible posting job. I made this whole thing super unclear and it's kind of a mess. Sorry again.
Don't be sorry.its like texting...you just never know how people take it.no worries. |
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A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | camillamarie - 2016-07-28 10:48 PM Sorry for my terrible posting job. I made this whole thing super unclear and it's kind of a mess. Sorry again.
Oh who cares anymore , just dont be loaning out your horses that dont appreciate what your doing for them. |
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Veteran
Posts: 110
| Thank you guys. I think I should just stick to talking to people from now on  |
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Go Get Em!
Posts: 13503
Location: OH. IO | camillamarie - 2016-07-29 12:02 AM
Thank you guys. I think I should just stick to talking to people from now on
Nope.you are fine.maybe you can just try to buddy up with the girl and have her ride at your place.perhaps give her lessons.make her ride the horse in a halter only lol.i do think she needs to prove to you she can properly ride this horse.BUT if your parents pay for the horses and the upkeep...just try to help the girl then if she can't ride that horse just be done with it. |
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Letting Someone Else Ride Your Horse