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Elite Veteran
Posts: 672
  
| How do you stay focused on your own journey and not others? I have been struggling with comparing myself to others which causes some major anxiety. I know it is not right and I try not to, but it happens so quickly! Before I know it, I’ll see something/someone and think why am I not doing that? Why am I not that good? How can I retrain my mind to not think like that? I have really been fighting my head on this lately and I can’t figure out why. | |
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 A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
 
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | Dont be comparing yourself to others, God created us different from one another, if we were all the same we would be really boring to each other and no body could tell us apart. You matter in your life  | |
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I just read the headlines
Posts: 4483
| I have always worried about looking like an idiot when competing and comparing myself to every other competitor at the barrel race and finding myself wanting. I still struggle with this but it is getting better. What helps me is hanging around with a very good friend who REALLY DOES NOT CARE what other people think about her. She is the first one to make fun of her self and the first one to praise her friends. this lady is a WPRA money winner and a 1D/2D winner. The reason why I bring this up is because so many girls think that these caliber of riders are not nice, but my friend is golden in my book and one of the funniest people I have ever met. She will tell you what she thinks, no doubt, but is always meant to help you.
I try to not take myself so serious and try to laugh hard every day. Frankly, I am tired of myself, so I have decided to laugh like my friend and be less serious and more open to trying new things and meeting different people.
But I have also started giving thanks every day for what I have - family, horses, jobs, weather, vehicles, everything in my life. It sounds  but it has really helped me quit thinking about other people and focus on where and how I want to get where I need to be. I stay away from negative people and if they are family, then I ask for protection from their negativity so that I can still be with them. I try to direct them toward more positive talk and that has slowly started to take with some of them. I ask God for help and I give him thanks everyday. I don't know if this was what you were talking about, but I felt like it might help.
Bottom line - don't take yourself so seriously, and surround yourself with positive, good humored people. give thanks for all that you have and work to be the person you want to be.
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 Expert
Posts: 1304
| I've gone through periods of times comparing myself to others, and it's negative and unnecessary but I understand it can be hard to kick! Look at the unique parts of yourself and see the leaps and bounds YOU have made and the obstacles YOU have overcome. Also, I stumbled upon this article awhile ago and thought it had some good information in it! You are wonderful and awesome the way you are 
http://www.positivityblog.com/index.php/2011/10/05/7-habits/ | |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 672
| GLP - 2016-08-01 11:04 AM
I have always worried about looking like an idiot when competing and comparing myself to every other competitor at the barrel race and finding myself wanting. I still struggle with this but it is getting better. What helps me is hanging around with a very good friend who REALLY DOES NOT CARE what other people think about her. She is the first one to make fun of her self and the first one to praise her friends. this lady is a WPRA money winner and a 1D/2D winner. The reason why I bring this up is because so many girls think that these caliber of riders are not nice, but my friend is golden in my book and one of the funniest people I have ever met. She will tell you what she thinks, no doubt, but is always meant to help you.
I try to not take myself so serious and try to laugh hard every day. Frankly, I am tired of myself, so I have decided to laugh like my friend and be less serious and more open to trying new things and meeting different people.
But I have also started giving thanks every day for what I have - family, horses, jobs, weather, vehicles, everything in my life. It sounds but it has really helped me quit thinking about other people and focus on where and how I want to get where I need to be. I stay away from negative people and if they are family, then I ask for protection from their negativity so that I can still be with them. I try to direct them toward more positive talk and that has slowly started to take with some of them. I ask God for help and I give him thanks everyday. I don't know if this was what you were talking about, but I felt like it might help.
Bottom line - don't take yourself so seriously, and surround yourself with positive, good humored people. give thanks for all that you have and work to be the person you want to be.
Thank you for your words! I am a very positive person and I "know" I shouldn't compare myself to others or think that way and that I have so much to be thankful for, but sometimes my mind starts comparing before I get a chance to check it and then doubt, anxiety, and unhappiness start creeping in.. I am usually one not to care what others think, but this year has been really hard for me for some reason and I have been struggling quite a bit with this. I don't know if it is growing pains or what!  | |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 672
| blccwgl55 - 2016-08-01 11:07 AM
I've gone through periods of times comparing myself to others, and it's negative and unnecessary but I understand it can be hard to kick! Look at the unique parts of yourself and see the leaps and bounds YOU have made and the obstacles YOU have overcome. Also, I stumbled upon this article awhile ago and thought it had some good information in it! You are wonderful and awesome the way you are
http://www.positivityblog.com/index.php/2011/10/05/7-habits/[/quote...
Thank you for the great article!! I am a perfectionist and honestly, the idea of "good enough" and setting deadlines freaks me out quite a bit! I always worry that my "good enough" wont be good enough so I have to strive for that extra % so that maybe (in my mind ) I'll be close to everyone else...augh why do I do that?!
I like the idea of deadlines, which I don't like having because what if I don't make it and whatever it is is not perfect?! But then I think about all the times I have had deadlines and turned something in or whatever, and it has always been good, if not great, and more than enough..
I wish I didn't doubt myself so much and let the fear of imperfection/failing hinder me as much as I let it..
Anyway, thank you again for that article. I have a list of do's and don'ts based on some of those points. | |
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 The Bling Princess
Posts: 3411
Location: North Dakota | Stop making it about yourself and make it about your horse and what he/she needs you to do for them to be successful. | |
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Expert
Posts: 1280
Location: Texas | Your exact question is addressed in the book " Mind Gym". I havent finished reading it yet, but it's a great starting place in your mental preparation. I think you need to seriously think about how much time, effort, money, blood, sweat, tears, etc. that you have invested in your horse, his training, your own training & ask yourself why would you let these negative thoughts interfere with what you want most? Do the mental work with as much dedication that you have done the physical work & you WILL stop sabotaging your game. You are as deserving as anyone else, but you HAVE TO prepare mentally just as well as physically. Raw talent will not take you far without mental toughness.
Edited by tracies 2016-08-01 2:53 PM
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How do you stay focused on your own journey?