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Elite Veteran
Posts: 1079
 
| Is there anyone out there that experiences INTENSE anxiety trying to buy horses?
I've found the horse that I've been waiting for and true to form I am having a heck of a time saying YES.
Although there is nothing wrong with thinking something over, I've had things in order to buy for like 4 days but the minute I want to commit I feel physically sick. I've looked around for quite awhile, I've compared, ridden some, gone thru pics, videos, talked to people, etc and I am very sure this is the one that I want but can't shake nagging doubts OR even remember why I'm buying in the first place when I get to this point ... VERY FRUSTRATING.
What if he doesn't turn out, what if he's nuts, what if he's not worth what I paid, what if I don't like him, what if my horses don't like him, what if something catestrophic happens financially and I just bought a horse, what if what if what if!
I see other people buy and sell horses just easy-peasy all the time and I have no idea how they do it. I haven't purchased a horse in 5 years and limit myself to 3.
Maybe this all sounds like self-induced drama, and maybe it is, but I can't seem to get past it. :/ Anyone have any words of advice or moral support? |
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 Expert
Posts: 5293
 
| star1218 - 2016-08-08 11:42 AM
Is there anyone out there that experiences INTENSE anxiety trying to buy horses?
I've found the horse that I've been waiting for and true to form I am having a heck of a time saying YES.
Although there is nothing wrong with thinking something over, I've had things in order to buy for like 4 days but the minute I want to commit I feel physically sick. I've looked around for quite awhile, I've compared, ridden some, gone thru pics, videos, talked to people, etc and I am very sure this is the one that I want but can't shake nagging doubts OR even remember why I'm buying in the first place when I get to this point ... VERY FRUSTRATING.
What if he doesn't turn out, what if he's nuts, what if he's not worth what I paid, what if I don't like him, what if my horses don't like him, what if something catestrophic happens financially and I just bought a horse, what if what if what if!
I see other people buy and sell horses just easy-peasy all the time and I have no idea how they do it. I haven't purchased a horse in 5 years and limit myself to 3.
Maybe this all sounds like self-induced drama, and maybe it is, but I can't seem to get past it. :/ Anyone have any words of advice or moral support?
Do a detailed pre purchase exam from a good vet. You can also have the xrays sent to YOUR VET you trust for a second opinion/eval to see if they agree with the vet who took them. Immediately get insurance on the horse to ease the financial part of your anxiety. I just paid a LOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT of money for a new horse , more than probably all my other horses I have ever bought combined. I feel your pain. Try and buy something with some resale value in case you need to sell. I now own 2 caldwell saddles. Paid more for those than I ever thought I ever would!!! But I could sell them, right now today, for what I paid. |
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Posts: 1286
Location: Mississippi | I have TERRIBLE anxiety when buying but it is usually the "trying one out" that causes me issues. Literally almost sick to my stomach! I wound up buying my last one site unseen because he was 8 hours away and I get so nervous anyway that it doesn't do me or the horse any good lol. Just be sure you do a thorough vet check and remember "life is short, buy the horse" 
Edited by turtleaut 2016-08-08 2:10 PM
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 1079
| I am definitely going to look deeper into insurance - I'm not too familiar with what you can cover?
Ya, part of my hesitation is that I know I am going to feel sick to my stomach the minute I say yes. and It's so intense I'm going to want to say "nevermind"..  |
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 Expert
Posts: 2097
Location: Deep South |
In my opinion, this has nothing to do with buying horses and everything to do with the state of your finances and whether or not you have a household budget. We follow Dave Ramsey's advice on budgeting and having an emergency fund. It allows us to spend guilt-free. When I buy a new horse, I have confidence that if that sucker drops dead the very next day, or breaks its leg in half, that we're going to be just fine financially. We have an emergency fund sitting there as a safety net. If our emergency fund ever needs rebuilding, then spending on any unnecessary items stops completely until it's replenished.
The times I am most anxious, stressed out, and just all around not a fun person to be around, and is when I'm not satisfied with the status of our finances.
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 1079
| Actually, not in my case. I am a S-A-V-E-R. Super conservative. I am from a non-horsey family who think they are fairly poor investments. Which, I guess helped shape my anxiety about spending anything on them. |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 915
Location: SE KS | The only time I felt physically ill at time of purchase, was when my husband bought a horse last spring. I told him she was "nothing I would buy & she was nothing I would ride!" I had to go sit in the truck, bc I thought i was going to throw up, it made me that ill!!!!
By fall she bucked me off, cracked my shoulder, I had a tear on the top of my shoulder & she adjusted my pelvis so that I was on crutches for 3 wks & went to the chiropractor every 3 days for 4 weeks!!!
So if this is the kinda "ill" you mean DO NOT buy the horse!!!! |
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Posts: 1304
| I'm very good at saving, but any specific books by him you recommend? Thanks! Sorry to hijack the thread, I just was curious because I feel the same way when thinking about buying a horse in the future. |
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Expert
Posts: 2097
Location: Deep South | star1218 - 2016-08-08 2:24 PM
Actually, not in my case. I am a S-A-V-E-R. Super conservative. I am from a non-horsey family who think they are fairly poor investments. Which, I guess helped shape my anxiety about spending anything on them.
If that's the case then I say just dive in! Lol! You sound like you've done your research and taken all of the precautions. I'd rather fix something later if it just so happens to not work out, than to not do it and always wonder.
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 Not Afraid to Work
Posts: 4717
| I'm glad I am not the only one! So no, you are not alone. No advice here. |
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 No Tune in a Bucket
Posts: 2935
Location: Texas | turtleaut - 2016-08-08 2:09 PM I have TERRIBLE anxiety when buying but it is usually the "trying one out" that causes me issues. Literally almost sick to my stomach! I wound up buying my last one site unseen because he was 8 hours away and I get so nervous anyway that it doesn't do me or the horse any good lol. Just be sure you do a thorough vet check and remember "life is short, buy the horse"
Where can I buy that t-shirt? |
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| I get so nervous and nauseated when spending any large sum of money no matter what is on. And no we are not tight on money I just like seeing it in the bank lol!
my advice is get someone else's opinion u trust to add to your own and make your own final decision. I had my hubby and close friend/trainer guide me on the last one and she is AmAzInG! And I almost walked away because the purchase price was more than i had ever spent on a horse before and made me absolutely sick |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 1079
| Kgirl - 2016-08-08 10:12 PM
I get so nervous and nauseated when spending any large sum of money no matter what is on. And no we are not tight on money I just like seeing it in the bank lol!
my advice is get someone else's opinion u trust to add to your own and make your own final decision. I had my hubby and close friend/trainer guide me on the last one and she is AmAzInG! And I almost walked away because the purchase price was more than i had ever spent on a horse before and made me absolutely sick
Yep! I'm alot like you. My hubby is on boaRd but again, he's not horsey either. This would be the most I've spent but no where near what a lot of girls spend. It's a miracle this horse hasn't sold in my feet dragging..so I feel like it's meant to be. Just gotta pull that trigger!!!! Blah. |
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Regular
Posts: 68
| I get super anxious about buying horses too! I am a very conservative saver and sometimes I feel like I miss out on the joy. I am obsessed with making sure if the horses isn't what I desire once I get it home that I wont loose money selling it. I make sure its very marketable. Weird things work me up. Just know your not alone when it comes to spending money on a horse. I had an experience recently where I was going to make a purchase, I went to bed happy and woke up totally sick the next morning and decided against it. So there ya go. |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 1079
| Reester - 2016-08-09 8:07 AM I get super anxious about buying horses too! I am a very conservative saver and sometimes I feel like I miss out on the joy. I am obsessed with making sure if the horses isn't what I desire once I get it home that I wont loose money selling it. I make sure its very marketable. Weird things work me up. Just know your not alone when it comes to spending money on a horse. I had an experience recently where I was going to make a purchase, I went to bed happy and woke up totally sick the next morning and decided against it. So there ya go.
I'm so glad to hear these stories.
I still haven't made my move but just knowing I'm not the only person who is a little more conservative is nice.
When I feel so uncomfortable I wonder how everyone else does it and I think I must be doing something all wrong. I don't have kids to mount on horses or their entry fees to pay and I don't go to near as many runs as some... no idea how they do it.
And it still isn't all about money but I do think about this often.
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Posts: 275
| I am the same way. It took me two years to find my current horse. I think it is I just wanted a horse I really enjoyed again. I must have been way too lucky with my first horse, then suffered through two horses I kind of liked. I am not good at selling horses, they do become family and I care about where they end up.
It also seemed like no matter how many questions I asked, or even videos, people still didn't tell the whole truth about the horse. I felt that if I bought one and didn't like it, or found the bad habits, I am too honest to cover them up and get my purchase price back. I began to look at photos and videos and pretty much ignore what the ad said. There were a few horses I didn't even get on. One of the owners even said that was why he was for sale (of course after I had asked on the phone and driven out to see it) because she was too nervous to ride him. The number one trait I wanted was willing, I already have two crabby ones, just wanted one that enjoyed life!
I will say for me, when I found the right horse, I had no anxiety once I showed up. I could just tell from the moment I was around her that this was the horse I was going to buy. |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 878
Location: "...way down south in the Everglades..." | The older I get the more I am like this....when I was younger I'd buy quite...ummm...impulsively. But I've also figured out that I am terrible about selling...I get too attached. So I have to be careful I don't end up with a barn full of duds! Last one I got hasn't panned out the best yet for me, but luckily he's become the hubby horse (as I sold his last one). But next purchase I'm more nervous because it's the last stall to fill and I need the right one or I'll have a barn full and only one to run... |
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Not Afraid to Work
Posts: 4717
| Reester - 2016-08-09 8:07 AM
I get super anxious about buying horses too! I am a very conservative saver and sometimes I feel like I miss out on the joy. I am obsessed with making sure if the horses isn't what I desire once I get it home that I wont loose money selling it. I make sure its very marketable. Weird things work me up. Just know your not alone when it comes to spending money on a horse. I had an experience recently where I was going to make a purchase, I went to bed happy and woke up totally sick the next morning and decided against it. So there ya go.
OMG - there is two of me...  |
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 Expert
Posts: 1701
| Been down this exact same road. Tried a horse, was on him about to make a run and I about threw up. Even people around me asked if I was ok because I was looking a little pale green. I ended up buying the horse, long and the short of it, he didn't work out. 2yrs of my life I will never get back and pretty much gave him away when I sold him.
My thought, if it makes you physically sick, save your money and keep looking. You will find the one that is meant for you, I know I did. |
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Meanest Teacher!!!
Posts: 8555
Location: sunny california | Speedy Buckeye Girl - 2016-08-09 6:50 AM The older I get the more I am like this....when I was younger I'd buy quite...ummm...impulsively. But I've also figured out that I am terrible about selling...I get too attached. So I have to be careful I don't end up with a barn full of duds! Last one I got hasn't panned out the best yet for me, but luckily he's become the hubby horse (as I sold his last one). But next purchase I'm more nervous because it's the last stall to fill and I need the right one or I'll have a barn full and only one to run...
same here. It is harder to commit when you 1) work very hard for every penny and don't have win falls come your way. 2) realize that no horse is 100% sound 3) are very good at detecting soundness issues.
I have had friends want me to go look at a horse for them. I have to tell them no. I will pass on every thing and you will be horseless so depressing
sometimes you just have to close your eyes and buy it.
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 899
Location: Idaho | I guess I have formed a bit of anxiety of the past few years. I used to have 3 horses, now I am down to one. (one passed away, the other one I sold.) But I guess because the one I sold, I got royally SCREWED. I was told he was a 2D barrel Horse and a smoking pole horse. They showed me video's. He was a friend of a friend, I trusted my friend and my friend trusted her, so I said.. alright, I can do this. AND she came with a list of good references. So I said, sure! Could the horse run barrels? Yes. Could the horse run poles? Yes. I tried him on both and he did great. He was a little underweight, no problem. But what I didn't expect was.. The horse was blown up, which I found out about a month after I bought him. He had really bad ulcers. He needed a chiro. He needed his teeth done. If you put him in a situation he didn't want to be in, he would take off running.. and you couldn't stop him, until I threw a pretty big bit on him.. then he listened to a point. He would try to run you up fences If you took him to a barrel race, and if you got him to turn to the pattern.. he would stop dead in his tracks at the first barrel. I seriously think somebody starved him at one point, because he would eat his good like he would didn't know when he was getting his next meal. That calmed down after a while too. But I rehabbed him and retrained him, to the point where I could ride him in a snaffle and would have no issues. I treated him for his ulcers(which made a huge difference in his behavior), took good care of him and kept him for two years before I sold him. He was a pretty boy, outside the barrel pen he WAS a nice horse. He was an amazing trail horse. Once he got all fixed up, he was 15.3 1100 lbs. Nothing spooked him. But he wasn't a barrel horse, and that's what I paid for. That's what I was told he was. I put my faith in someone, and they lied to me. So yes.. I have anxiety, because now.. I don't know if people are being honest or not. Especially with the way the horse economy is, people will say whatever they want to get rid of a horse. Just makes me extremely weary.
I would really like to get a second one, something more further along but my baby.. which is not so much a babe anymore (he's 5) is now coming along real nice. And it comforts me to know that I raised him, that I know he doesn't have any problems, that he doesn't have any issues, that he hasn't been beat, he hasn't been abused, he doesn't have ulcers, he hasn't been ran into the ground and I just know how he is. I think if I were to get another horse, as much as I want an older one.. Unless I -know- the horse, and the people who are selling them, and know they are taking care of them, I think I'd just want to raise another baby. Because at least then.. I know what I am getting.
Edited by DashNDustem 2016-08-09 8:47 PM
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horse buying anxiety