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Member
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| I've created a new account so that I can post anonymously. I have some friends on this forum and I'm still keeping these issues private at the moment. I just really need unbiased advice from some strong, experienced women and this forum just felt like the right place to go. I'll try to keep this as short as possible.
I met my now husband last spring (2016). We moved in together by fall, and I was pregnant by the end of the year, married this spring, and now have a beautiful 2 month old. I know we moved far too quickly and that's why I'm in the situation I'm in now. I didn't even know him yet.
I found out in February that he had still been talking on a daily basis with his ex, that he had gone to sleep with her one weekend he told me he was visiting his mother (she lives in his home state, far away from us). He was telling her he loved and missed her and was planning to leave me. He lied to me about all of it and I had to find out on my own via phone records. He cried, apologized, begged for forgiveness, etc. I forgave him only because I was pregnant, and we moved on to get married.
This summer, about 2 months after we were married and one month before baby was born, I found out he was still talking to this girl, every day. He had down loaded an app on his phone to contact her through so that it wouldn't show up on his phone records. I only found out because she contacted me. He got angry and violent when I confronted him, I had to call the cops out that night. (8 months pregnant)
At this point I was ready to move out and I was so done with him. The next day, again he cried and begged and again I gave in, because I was four weeks from my due date and it was the worst possible timing for me to leave him. I am states away from any family or close friends, so I would have been completely alone. I also hoped that maybe seeing him as a father would help me fall back in love with him.
Surprise, it didn't. He's not helpful with our baby at all. I have returned to work and I have to take her to the sitter before work, then I'm home on my own with her all night. I don't mind it, I love her so much and she is by no means an inconvenience, but it would be nice for him to be able to watch her while I shower or do laundry every once in a while. I don't want him alone with her because she loves to be interacted with and he doesn't do that, and doesn't console her when she gets fussy and her crying just escalates, then he gets more and more frustrated.
Not to mention, I had to return back to work early because he pulled money out of a savings account when she was born to help me pay my bills if I needed it while I was on maternity leave. I didn't need it until a couple weeks ago, I asked him for help buying some of her formula and he didn't have it. He blew through every dime of that money on fishing supplies, some stupid stand up paddle board thing, protein powders and a moonshine still. I wish I was making this stuff up ya'll. I noticed the purchases but he kept assuring me he was fine on money and hadn't spent any of the savings. So he lied about that too. He blew all of that money on toys for himself while I was struggling to support myself on my savings for maternity leave.
And last but not least, (ya'll will love this one) I just took a trip home for two weeks to visit family and let everyone meet the baby. He stayed home to take care of everything. I came home to find the horse's feed was still just as full as I had left it. He had fed them maybe once in the two weeks I was gone, so all they had was their round bales. I have one aged appendix gelding that is a very hard keeper and is ribby now going into winter. He tried to lie and tell me he fed them, but I explained to him if there is no feed missing I know he did not feed them. He just said, "ok". I didn't know how to even respond to that. (Also, there were two week old dirty bottles left for me in the sink and her laundry basket was still left full, nice welcome home present.)
We had one huge fight a couple weeks ago, about the money, and I told him I was done with him. He said if I leave him he will get full custody of the baby. I know that was a scare tactic, because he knows I would stay with him if it meant that was the only way I could keep my daughter.
I'm not sure at this point what the best next step is. I can't stand to be around him. I want to leave and take my daughter and go back home, but I don't know what I can and can't do legally. And my worst fear is that I leave him and he gets full or even joint custody, because I absolutely do not trust him alone with my daughter. He drinks, he gets frustrated easily and he has proven already he's capable of being violent.
Part of me wants to work on things with him, just because I don't want to take the chance of him getting her. My main priority right now is my daughter and I don't know what the best thing is for her. I don't know about how custody is determined.. I have a good career and can support myself and her, but if I leave I will have to leave my job also. He also has a very wealthy father who I'm sure would buy him the best lawyer out there. He is only interested in custody to avoid paying child support I know. He cares nothing about spending time with her.
I'm sorry this got so long... Sadly I left out many lies and things he has done to try to keep it short... These are just the big ones.
Would you stay to avoid the risk of him getting custody? Or leave and take that chance? I'm even willing to tell him I'll take zero child support if he will take zero custody, if I'm able to do that. Am I allowed to move states with her before divorce paper work is filed? And lastly, has anyone been through a similar experience, and do you feel you made the right decision?
Any other advice is appreciated as well. I know I've made terrible mistakes so far, but from here I just want to move in the right direction. I don't want to regret yet another decision.
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 Hugs to You
Posts: 7550
  
Location: In The Land of Cotton | I am sorry you are going through this. Even though you saw warning signs, you tried to stay and have a family. However, it is time for you to move one. One being that he became violent and you also mentioned how fustrated he becomes with the child.
At this point it is imperative you move where you have a support system. I would take the chld and leave. You as the mother/parent have that right. I doubt he will try and stop you. If you think he will, call the local sheriff office and have an officer there at that time.
I also feel that should the father want interaction with the child at some point that you allow it to happen. Unless of course he is a danger to the child.
Good luck. You have some hard decisions to make.
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Expert
Posts: 1343
 
Location: East Texas | The first thing I would do is consult an attorney in your State (I am a paralegal in Texas and know that States differ in their laws). Your attorney will be able to tell you what you can do (as in leave the State, etc.). I would bet money that if he won't even help you wash a bottle, he certainly will not want custody of the baby... he just knows it will keep you where you are. Keep records where you know he was contacting his ex and anything else showing that he is not fit to be a custodial parent. Prayers for you!! |
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 Good Grief!
Posts: 6343
Location: Cap'n Joan Rotgut.....alberta | Why would you want your daughter raised in that environment.....i wouldnt have even stayed past the 1st known cheating "sleep over".....m |
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I just read the headlines
Posts: 4483
| I would talk to some one in your state that specializes in family law. But no way would I stay with him. |
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 A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | I think you need to go talk to a attorney about this. Hugs to you, you are in a bad spot..  |
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 Guys Just Wanna Have Fun
Posts: 5530
Location: OH | First---I am a guy.
Second---Have a higher opinion of your self, don't settle, you can do better.
Third-----DUMP HIM
Fourth----NO WAY he would get the kid.
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 Miss Laundry Misshap
Posts: 5271
| A: Talk to an attorney
B: Of course he wants you there...you're his maid and he can walk all over you while still doing what he wants.
C: What's the point of staying there to "work things out" when he hasn't lifted a pinky to do so yet??
D: Get to the lawyer FAST and run like hell and don't look back. |
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A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | Mighty Broke - 2016-10-17 2:18 PM First---I am a guy.
Second---Have a higher opinion of your self, don't settle, you can do better.
Third-----DUMP HIM
Fourth----NO WAY he would get the kid.
This^^^ What Mighty Broke just said... Run dont walk.. |
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Member
Posts: 6
| mruggles - 2016-10-17 2:10 PM
Why would you want your daughter raised in that environment.....i wouldnt have even stayed past the 1st known cheating "sleep over".....m
Thank you everyone for taking the time to read all of that and your advice. The prayers are very much appreciated.
mruggles- I would have also, I just felt like leaving him before my daughter was born was giving her zero chance at a normal, nuclear family. I felt I owed it to her to give it a shot.
I grew up in a family where my parents were high school sweet hearts and still just as happy together as they were as teens. I always felt sorry for my friends with divorced parents, and no I'm putting my own daughter in a broken family situation. I'm just trying to avoid that if it all possible.. But I'm coming to the point where enough is enough.
Edited by barrelracer1010 2016-10-17 2:32 PM
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A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | barrelracer1010 - 2016-10-17 2:27 PM mruggles - 2016-10-17 2:10 PM Why would you want your daughter raised in that environment.....i wouldnt have even stayed past the 1st known cheating "sleep over".....m Thank you everyone for taking the time to read all of that and your advice. The prayers are very much appreciates. mruggles- I would have also, I just felt like leaving him before my daughter was born was giving her zero chance at a normal, nuclear family. I felt I owed it to her to give it a shot. I grew up in a family where my parents were high school sweet hearts and still just as happy together as they were as teens. I always felt sorry for my friends with divorced parents, and no I'm putting my own daughter in a broken family situation. I'm just trying to avoid that if it all possible.. But I'm coming to the point where enough is enough.
Enought is now young lady |
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Member
Posts: 6
| To those suggesting a state attorney - Would it be the state I live in now, or the state I want to move home to?
Also, he is active duty military. Does that change anything with my wanting to leave, since he is stationed in this state and we are his dependents? I've considered seeing if there is legal help available through the military but if I went in for advice I'm not sure if they would notify him or not, and if they did it would be bad situation. |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 1074
| You need to move home with your family and get away from him. |
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 Undercover Amish Mafia Member
Posts: 9991
Location: Kansas | Only way for him to get full custody was if you were a total piece of crap by being a druggie, or the baby was not safe while in your care and that would have to be proven. Been there done that MANY times with my daughters father.
I highly doubt he would be willing to give up his custody.....this individual sounds like he has narcasistic (spelling?) tendencies, plus not to mention it's a big control thing for him. You're miserable now correct? Best thing to do.....pack your things up, move home, hire an attorney, and get the custody started immediately.
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 Accident Prone
Posts: 22277
Location: 100 miles from Nowhere, AR | You absolutely need to get out. Consult an attorney first. You want to have a good case against him having custody and it sounds like his visitation needs to be supervised. The part where you said he has a wealthy father is concerning on that point. I know a girl in Georgia who lost custody of her kids to an abusive husband when she finally go the courage to leave him, because of who his family was and what they were able to afford to do. So be as smart and thorough as you can, but most of all stay safe. |
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Expert
Posts: 1343
Location: East Texas | Most states have residence requirements. If you file in a State you move to, you will probably have a waiting period. If you file in the State where you live now, you have lived there long enough to meet that requirement. It shouldn't matter if he is in the military. He just has to be given notice (served with divorce papers). At least that is how it is in Texas. |
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 Warrior Mom
Posts: 4400
| Go see an attorney, consults are usually free. They can tell you your rights.. I do know 1 thing for certain, he cannot and will not gain full custody of your baby girl.. unless he can prove you are an unfit mother, which we all gather you are not! He's bluffing. This guy sounds toxic and you and your daughter need to be away from him. He will be responsible for paying child support and providing health insurance for her, and as i understand that will give him the right to see her and he could very well not allow you to move out of state... (my ex put a 100 mile radius on how far i could move with the kids) . Sorry you are going thru this... I went thru a divorce when my youngest was 3 months old.. I moved out, well, he told us to leave so I did and it was one of the best things that ever happened. Hang in there, be strong for your daughter and don't let him scare you into staying with the threat of him taking your baby from you... that's total chicken $__t! Document EVERYTHING! |
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 Expert
Posts: 1304
| I don't have the best advice, but agree with the others. Get a great lawyer and I would go somewhere safe depending on your means and how legal it is for you to leave the state. You don't need that and you definitely don't need to settle. From the sounds of it he doesn't have a chance in Hell of getting full custody. Be strong girl, you're putting your baby first which is the best thing you can do. Prayers  |
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Member
Posts: 6
| want2chase3 - 2016-10-17 2:42 PM
Go see an attorney, consults are usually free. They can tell you your rights.. I do know 1 thing for certain, he cannot and will not gain full custody of your baby girl.. unless he can prove you are an unfit mother, which we all gather you are not! He's bluffing. This guy sounds toxic and you and your daughter need to be away from him. He will be responsible for paying child support and providing health insurance for her, and as i understand that will give him the right to see her and he could very well not allow you to move out of state... (my ex put a 100 mile radius on how far i could move with the kids) . Sorry you are going thru this... I went thru a divorce when my youngest was 3 months old.. I moved out, well, he told us to leave so I did and it was one of the best things that ever happened. Hang in there, be strong for your daughter and don't let him scare you into staying with the threat of him taking your baby from you... that's total chicken $__t! Document EVERYTHING!
That's terrifying to me that he will be able to keep my daughter and I from going back home to my family. I didn't realize he would have that power.  |
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 Shelter Dog Lover
Posts: 10277
| Get out now, don't waste anymore of your time and energy on him. It will be difficult and stressful but you will wake up one day and know it was the best decision you ever made, you just have to soldier through. Prayers and hugs, there are good men out there, you and your daughter deserve that. I dated several jerks, put up with cheaters and liars till I said no more. I decided I would not tolerate any questionable behavior, I cut them loose. Instead of being tied up with losers I met the most wonderful man who I am absolutely nuts over 30 years later. Good luck, happiness is out there. |
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Warrior Mom
Posts: 4400
| barrelracer1010 - 2016-10-17 2:49 PM
want2chase3 - 2016-10-17 2:42 PM
Go see an attorney, consults are usually free. They can tell you your rights.. I do know 1 thing for certain, he cannot and will not gain full custody of your baby girl.. unless he can prove you are an unfit mother, which we all gather you are not! He's bluffing. This guy sounds toxic and you and your daughter need to be away from him. He will be responsible for paying child support and providing health insurance for her, and as i understand that will give him the right to see her and he could very well not allow you to move out of state... (my ex put a 100 mile radius on how far i could move with the kids) . Sorry you are going thru this... I went thru a divorce when my youngest was 3 months old.. I moved out, well, he told us to leave so I did and it was one of the best things that ever happened. Hang in there, be strong for your daughter and don't let him scare you into staying with the threat of him taking your baby from you... that's total chicken $__t! Document EVERYTHING!
That's terrifying to me that he will be able to keep my daughter and I from going back home to my family. I didn't realize he would have that power.
I didn't mean to scare you. That's just what happened to me after he moved us from California, where my family is, to Texas and we had another child before he decided to hook up with the office floozie and left us for her. He may not even want that option. .. just wanted you to know that could be a possibility. My husband now has a 50 mile radius on his ex for his daughter. |
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Member
Posts: 6
| want2chase3 - 2016-10-17 2:54 PM
barrelracer1010 - 2016-10-17 2:49 PM
want2chase3 - 2016-10-17 2:42 PM
Go see an attorney, consults are usually free. They can tell you your rights.. I do know 1 thing for certain, he cannot and will not gain full custody of your baby girl.. unless he can prove you are an unfit mother, which we all gather you are not! He's bluffing. This guy sounds toxic and you and your daughter need to be away from him. He will be responsible for paying child support and providing health insurance for her, and as i understand that will give him the right to see her and he could very well not allow you to move out of state... (my ex put a 100 mile radius on how far i could move with the kids) . Sorry you are going thru this... I went thru a divorce when my youngest was 3 months old.. I moved out, well, he told us to leave so I did and it was one of the best things that ever happened. Hang in there, be strong for your daughter and don't let him scare you into staying with the threat of him taking your baby from you... that's total chicken $__t! Document EVERYTHING!
That's terrifying to me that he will be able to keep my daughter and I from going back home to my family. I didn't realize he would have that power.
I didn't mean to scare you. That's just what happened to me after he moved us from California, where my family is, to Texas and we had another child before he decided to hook up with the office floozie and left us for her. He may not even want that option. .. just wanted you to know that could be a possibility. My husband now has a 50 mile radius on his ex for his daughter.
No thank you for sharing your experience! So you got stuck in TX, away from your family? I'm so sorry. If he is given that option he will do everything he can to make me miserable, I'm sure. |
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Warrior Mom
Posts: 4400
| Oh trust me, I was scared to death at the time... but I got thru it with a 2 yr old and a 3 month old... I was a stay at home mom too, so I had to put my kids in daycare and got a job. I got tons of amazing support from this forum during that time. I figured things out miraculously. .. I had a few close friends I made out here and a few friends from church that helped me too. You can do it... someone told me "you never know how strong you are, until you have to be"! |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 912
Location: Alabama | Whatever you do, consult with a local attorney first! Do not just flee the state! That can be considered abandonment and will not reflect well on you if he does decide to pursue custody.
That said, get out. Get away and be done. Raising a child in a terrible home is much worse than raising a child in a broken home. Do you want your daughter to grow up thinking that his treatment of you and she is ok? No. Save your pennies, get an attorney, document every little thing. Then get out and make a life for you and your child. |
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 Looking for Lady Jockey
Posts: 3747
Location: Rodeos or Baseball games | Whatever you do please do not stay in that situation. Not healthy for anyone!
Sending prayers. |
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 Expert
Posts: 2128
| I would make an appointment with an attorney. HAVE YOUR EVIDENCE OF HIS ADULTRY, and police records of the call out that night. This will help move things faster and could allow you to go home. Move out and have him served with divorce papers. I would leave when he was not home if he is known to be violent. Your attorney can consult you about leaving the state. Will you be able to get good employment back home? You need your support system in a time like this. You cant trust this man and you shouldnt have to live like this. Let him make his threats about taking custody, youd have to be a horrible mother for him to taker her. And I am pretty sure that is not the case. Do what you know is right.
Edited by scwebster 2016-10-17 3:32 PM
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Addicted to Baseball
Location: Where the stars at night are big and bright, TX | He is not going to get full custody. You need to get yourself a GOOD lawyer (not the only half-hearted loser who'll take your money). Interview various attorneys and get those conversations started with them and sorted out in your head. Hubby is a loser, he should have been acting like father before the child took it's first breath. You may not feel confident enough to live without a man, but would you want your daughter seeing how ths man treats her mother. How he keeps house/cares for animals/his family/himself/the lady down the street/is violent and drinks?
Throw your shoulders back, take your time to interview some attorneys, slow down your worries until you have facts, then start making some decisions on ridding yourself of this guy - you may have to share custody and when two people are so different it won't be easy but the alternative will likely be worse for your daughter over the long run. Don't hold back in telling the attorney's how he behaves. Drinks. Violent. Dirty home. If you try to white wash it, it'll bite you later when you do need to do something about it because your daughter has come home uncared for or seen things she shouldn't. |
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Member
Posts: 6
| Tilt The Kilt - 2016-10-17 3:50 PM
He is not going to get full custody. You need to get yourself a GOOD lawyer (not the only half-hearted loser who'll take your money). Interview various attorneys and get those conversations started with them and sorted out in your head. Hubby is a loser, he should have been acting like father before the child took it's first breath. You may not feel confident enough to live without a man, but would you want your daughter seeing how ths man treats her mother. How he keeps house/cares for animals/his family/himself/the lady down the street/is violent and drinks?
Throw your shoulders back, take your time to interview some attorneys, slow down your worries until you have facts, then start making some decisions on ridding yourself of this guy - you may have to share custody and when two people are so different it won't be easy but the alternative will likely be worse for your daughter over the long run. Don't hold back in telling the attorney's how he behaves. Drinks. Violent. Dirty home. If you try to white wash it, it'll bite you later when you do need to do something about it because your daughter has come home uncared for or seen things she shouldn't.
Thank you.
I think this sounds like the plan for now.. As much as I want to move back home right now, slowing down and getting my ducks in a row is the smarter option, as long as he doesn't find out.. I don't want to move and take a chance on him being able to get me in trouble for leaving the state with her.
Someone else asked if I can get a job back home and yes thankfully I can. I work in health care and have been blessed enough to easily find jobs when I move. I have already browsed openings back home and looked into state license requirements, and getting on my feet up there will not be an issue.
I just have to make sure I do it correctly. If he has the power to not let me out of a 50-100 mile radius like some have said, he WILL exercise that power.. I know him. He's not going to be cooperative at all if I make the decision to leave. |
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 Bulls Eye
Posts: 6443
Location: Oklahoma | First off hugs. I was in your shoes. You have described my situation to a tee with my ex husband. I ended up filing for divorce and have full custody with no contact. My daughter is now almost nine and hasn't seen that douche since June 2009. Feel free to pm me. I can tell you how I handled min.y situation but I don't need to broadcast it |
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  Witty Enough
Posts: 2954
Location: CTX | 1 of all, sorry you and your babygirl are going through this.
2nd, you say he is active military. Make sure that if you have proof of the cheating and keep it safe. He is comitting adultery and that is a major nono for soldiers.
3rd, get a lawyer that knows about military laws. I don't know if going to JAG will help you, but you can also go to his command. The will help you if he becomes aggresive again.
4th, GO, leave his sorry a$$. Get yourself and your baby to safety, he sounds like a powder keg, ready to blow at any time.
and 5th, document EVERYTHING!!! Texts, emails, call logs, his facebook, take pics of it if needed, but get as much proof as you can. it will help you in a court should he fight you for custody.
and 6th, hugs and good luck. |
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 Hog Tie My Mojo
Posts: 4847
Location: Opelousas, LA | I don't have time to read all the responses but if everything you are saying is true, start making plans now to leave. Do it very quietly, don't rock the boat, get a bada$$ lawyer, document everything and when you have all your ducks in a row, get help from your family and leave. Sorry you are going thru this, prayers you can find your way to a better life. |
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 Loves to compete
Posts: 5760
Location: Oakdale, CA | Southtxponygirl - 2016-10-17 12:25 PM Mighty Broke - 2016-10-17 2:18 PM First---I am a guy.
Second---Have a higher opinion of your self, don't settle, you can do better.
Third-----DUMP HIM
Fourth----NO WAY he would get the kid.
This^^^ What Mighty Broke just said... Run dont walk..
Dr. Laura would say take your baby and go home to your mom or dad or any family that will take you him......
God Bless |
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The Advice Guru
Posts: 6419
| Hugs, I would also suggest speaking with a lawyer in the state your parents are in, as I thought I heard somewhere you can file divorce in any state, then he would have to appear in that state, if he is a dead beat, he may not show.
Good luck |
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Veteran
Posts: 155
| Sounds exactly like my life 22 years ago. I documented everything, got a kick ass lawyer, and was patient. I also was super composed anytime I had to meet with him, I let him blow up, get ****ed, and show everyone his true colors.
I too wanted to move when I left. I was awarded joint custody at first, but I still kept documenting when he wouldn't show up for visitation, or sent threatening lettets, ect. Eventually I was able to move, but I had to transport my daughter every other weekend for visitation. I still kept documenting and eventually he hung himself with drugs/alcohol and I was awarded full custody. I haven't seen him in about 15 years.
It's scary, he will try to make you feel like a horrible person, he will threaten, beg, and threaten some more. Be strong, it sounds like you have a great family for support, you know what's right for your daughter, and you deserve to be happy! |
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Industrial Srength Barrel Racer
Posts: 7264
| Get a lawyer and get out. He has blown his chances time and time again. If he can't even feed the horses, he could NEVER take care of a kid either. |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 678
Location: Canada | I'm so sorry you're going through this. As others have said do this smartly. Find a good lawyer and get their advice. Start planning for you and your daughters future and make sure that when you leave you can comfortably support the two of you.
You CAN do this. You WILL do this and you will find someone who will love you, want you, need you, and make your life better. Don't give up and don't give in to doubts. You deserve a better life and only you can change it. |
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Regular
Posts: 81
| If you are on an active duty base there should be a family readiness center there that can help assist you. You probably had contact with them when you first moved on base (assuming you live on base), or at the very least when he joined his unit.
You could also reach out to the local JAG (judge advocate general) office to look for options. They do not represent individuals, but can provide legal advice.
Also, if he is an officer this will be considered a UCMJ action and he could potentially get in serious trouble for the infidelity. Make sure you stay strong through this!!
As his wife you are entitled to all the benefits he receives so I would take as much as you can and then get out of dodge and back to family. I, also, come from a family of lovebirds for parents and had a very cloudy idea of what that looks like and was married too quickly. Fortunately we did not have kids but this is a very tough situation and all my prayers are with you!! |
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 Expert
Posts: 3782
Location: Gainesville, TX | Get a lawyer, get a lawyer, get a lawyer. Like today, this afternoon.
Would you mind sharing what state you are in? |
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I just read the headlines
Posts: 4483
| cranky B4 10am - 2016-10-17 4:37 PM
1 of all, sorry you and your babygirl are going through this.
2nd, you say he is active military. Make sure that if you have proof of the cheating and keep it safe. He is comitting adultery and that is a major nono for soldiers.
3rd, get a lawyer that knows about military laws. I don't know if going to JAG will help you, but you can also go to his command. The will help you if he becomes aggresive again.
4th, GO, leave his sorry a$$. Get yourself and your baby to safety, he sounds like a powder keg, ready to blow at any time.
and 5th, document EVERYTHING!!! Texts, emails, call logs, his facebook, take pics of it if needed, but get as much proof as you can. it will help you in a court should he fight you for custody.
and 6th, hugs and good luck.
^^This^^ The military advice is probably the most important advice you have received so far. |
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| oija - 2016-10-18 12:17 PM
Get a lawyer, get a lawyer, get a lawyer. Like today, this afternoon.
Would you mind sharing what state you are in?
YES, YES, YES.
LAWYER IN CURRENT STATE, RIGHT NOW.
Depending on what they say, you can consult a later in the other state later. You don't want to move and then find out that you are in trouble. Get the information before you make your move. |
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 Popped
Posts: 20421
Location: LuluLand~along I64 Indiana | i havnt read any replies.
get in a fight... a big one. call the cops. put that on his record. that along with the prior removal of him before the baby was born should be all the ammo you need. then pick up and move home with your family. let a lawyer ( a good one ) sort it out from there.
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Veteran
Posts: 225
Location: Montgomery TX | Ask your attorney to put in the papers that you can move back to your home state where you have family, that's what I did and the judge approved it. So don't freak out too much about that, I know its scary - especially with him being military with the possiblity of numerous moves in his future.
My heart goes out to you, i've been in your situation, where you're away from family and friends and it all goes really really bad. |
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 Cute Little Imp
Posts: 2747
Location: N Texas | If your daughter were dating a man like her father, what would you tell her? |
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 Ms. Marine
Posts: 4627
Location: Texas | First off, sorry you're going through this. Second, forgive me for being brutally honest but I think you can handle it and need to hear it.
The speed of your relationship progressing I don't believe is the cause. I was with my husband for 8 months before we were married and we are going on four years and we are happier than we were in the very beginning. He has been lying to you from the very beginning and I find it hard to believe that you didn't somehow sense something wasn't quite right. Staying with a man after he did something that should be unforgivable simply because you're pregnant with his child shouldn't even be a thing. You HAVE to do what's best for the child, and he obviously wasn't invested from the very get go. You forgave him a second time for the same thing, so now he knows that he can just walk all over you and manipulate you. He has gotten physically violent with you, he WILL do the same with you child. I've seen it time and time again (law enforcement). He may tell you he's so sorry and won't do it again, but he will which he's proven already with the cheating. He's not going to get custody of your child. You have proof that he's unstable and doesn't contribute. Make sure you're documenting these things. Your next step should be to kick his hiney out and get divorce paperwork started. If you feel uneasy, get a lawyer. As far as moving before you're divorced, I believe that depends on what state you're from in regards to the child. You don't deserve to be treated as an option. Get out of that toxic relationship for your sake and your child's. |
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Meanest Teacher!!!
Posts: 8552
Location: sunny california | Any chance he is such an @$$ that his parents really do not like him? I mean maybe they care more about a grandchild than the spoiled little A hole they raised. If my son pulled that crap I would tell him to shut up and let the kid get raised right then i would go visiting as much as I could! |
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 My Heart Be Happy
Posts: 9159
Location: Arkansas | Lawyer is your first step. Like everyone said, document EVERYTHING. From app on the phone with the ex, the sleepover, dirty house, not feeding animals, etc. . . My ex was abusive and was having an affair. He was also an alcoholic. Chandler was 8, and Chris threatened me with taking my baby from me. He said he would do anything needed to hurt me, and he said he could bring me and my parents to our knees by taking Chandler. I was doing nothing wrong (no men, no drugs, didn't drink) but I was terrified he would make up lies and get Chandler. I am an AK amputee, and I take one medicine daily for the nerve damage. He told his lawyer I stayed drugged out and never got off the couch. I cannot make you know how terrified my parents and I were. He had 4 DWIs so it was documented he drank and drove. This helped us get supervised visitation; he had to be at his mother's to see Chandler and could not leave with him. Nor could the other woman be there. But I was still scared so when we went to court, I paid him thousands of dollars and took ALL of the debt from our marriage. I got our house, but there was plenty still owed on it. Looking back now, I was such a total idiot----I had a horrible lawyer and he couldn't have taken my child. But Chandler is my world, and I would have given Chris every penny I had and pecked crap with the chickens before I took a chance he could have got Chandler. My baby turned 18 in March, 2 days after Chris died from drinking himself to death. We had basically made peace by that time. I know how scared you are for your baby---get a GOOD lawyer and keep every tiny piece of evidence showing what he's done and/or is doing. Good luck and many many prayers and hugs. Sorry for the book, but your story touched a chord with me. . . Please PM me if you ever want to talk. |
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Accident Prone
Posts: 22277
Location: 100 miles from Nowhere, AR | Chandler's Mom - 2016-10-19 2:23 AM Lawyer is your first step. Like everyone said, document EVERYTHING. From app on the phone with the ex, the sleepover, dirty house, not feeding animals, etc. . . My ex was abusive and was having an affair. He was also an alcoholic. Chandler was 8, and Chris threatened me with taking my baby from me. He said he would do anything needed to hurt me, and he said he could bring me and my parents to our knees by taking Chandler. I was doing nothing wrong (no men, no drugs, didn't drink) but I was terrified he would make up lies and get Chandler. I am an AK amputee, and I take one medicine daily for the nerve damage. He told his lawyer I stayed drugged out and never got off the couch. I cannot make you know how terrified my parents and I were. He had 4 DWIs so it was documented he drank and drove. This helped us get supervised visitation; he had to be at his mother's to see Chandler and could not leave with him. Nor could the other woman be there. But I was still scared so when we went to court, I paid him thousands of dollars and took ALL of the debt from our marriage. I got our house, but there was plenty still owed on it. Looking back now, I was such a total idiot----I had a horrible lawyer and he couldn't have taken my child. But Chandler is my world, and I would have given Chris every penny I had and pecked crap with the chickens before I took a chance he could have got Chandler. My baby turned 18 in March, 2 days after Chris died from drinking himself to death. We had basically made peace by that time. I know how scared you are for your baby---get a GOOD lawyer and keep every tiny piece of evidence showing what he's done and/or is doing. Good luck and many many prayers and hugs. Sorry for the book, but your story touched a chord with me. . . Please PM me if you ever want to talk.
"I would have given Chris every penny I had and pecked crap with the chickens before I took a chance he could have got Chandler."
That made me tear up. I am so so so thankful that I didn't have a child with my POS first husband or that could have been me. Bless you for protecting your child the best you could. |
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 Not Afraid to Work
Posts: 4717
| To repeat, get an attorney. Speak to one in your current state. You would be amazed at some of the laws. For example, in MN - if a child is born out of wedlock, the "father" has ZERO rights. Even if he signed the recognition of parentage and/or the birth certificate. It means nothing. He has to go through the courts to obtain right to his children. Again this is in MN.
Speak to multiple attorneys and find one that is familiar with both the military and family law. I would start planning and looking for places to live temporarily. Save enough money for rent and damage deposit. And leave when he isn't home and have him served with divorce papers the same night if you can make it happen. Keep your location a secret until your attorney says you need to reveal it. Protect yourself and baby first and foremost. Maybe arrange to have your horses sent back home until you have less on your plate.
Do NOT stay with him, not even for the baby. A few friends parents did this and their children suffered much more than if their parents had just gotten divorced. He will have a hard time getting custody of that child, do not let him scare your or manipulate you.
Play along to get along - maybe consider counseling for yourself or him if he gets suspicious. You will need to learn to get along most likely. Some parents will walk away from a child but most wont. Expect him to be involved in some way. Counseling is a good way for you two to figure out how to both be parents. |
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 Thread Killer
Posts: 7543
| luluwhit - 2016-10-18 2:02 PM
i havnt read any replies.
get in a fight... a big one. call the cops. put that on his record. that along with the prior removal of him before the baby was born should be all the ammo you need. then pick up and move home with your family. let a lawyer ( a good one ) sort it out from there.
Please don't do this. Your baby has A LOT to lose if you start a fight and it escalates beyond what he's already shown you. The police have already been involved and I hope there's a record of that event. |
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| Just Plain Lucky - 2016-10-19 11:19 AM luluwhit - 2016-10-18 2:02 PM
i havnt read any replies.
get in a fight... a big one. call the cops. put that on his record. that along with the prior removal of him before the baby was born should be all the ammo you need. then pick up and move home with your family. let a lawyer ( a good one ) sort it out from there.
Please don't do this. Your baby has A LOT to lose if you start a fight and it escalates beyond what he's already shown you. The police have already been involved and I hope there's a record of that event.
Agree. If he has gotten physical with you, I certainly wouldn't go looking for a fight.
And when you tell him your plans for divorce, I would make sure someone else is watching your child.
Edited by WrapN3MN 2016-10-19 11:26 AM
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 Expert
Posts: 3815
Location: The best kept secret in TX | There is no way a judge would grant him custody with him being active military. Trust me.
Prayers and higs for you. |
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Thread Killer
Posts: 7543
| WrapN3MN - 2016-10-19 12:25 PM
Just Plain Lucky - 2016-10-19 11:19 AM luluwhit - 2016-10-18 2:02 PM
i havnt read any replies.
get in a fight... a big one. call the cops. put that on his record. that along with the prior removal of him before the baby was born should be all the ammo you need. then pick up and move home with your family. let a lawyer ( a good one ) sort it out from there.
Please don't do this. Your baby has A LOT to lose if you start a fight and it escalates beyond what he's already shown you. The police have already been involved and I hope there's a record of that event.
And when you tell him your plans for divorce, I would make sure someone else is watching your child.
Agreed. Definitely keep the baby away from his wrath. You didn't mention your family's opinion. Do they know about your situation? If so, have someone with you (your parents etc). Don't do it alone. The police may be able to assist (keep him on his best behavior) when you're moving out. |
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 Jr. Detective
Location: Beggs, OK | I've lived this...and I am so sorry. Just reading your story is tough because it reminds me of that lost, empty, helpless, embarassed 24 year old I was then. I had a three year old and no idea what to do, when I knew that no one would believe how incredibly awful it was...not even my parents.
Find the best attorney you can find that will consult you on your rights and what you should do legally....They generally don't charge for this. Gather all of your financial records and statements for safe keeping. If you feel threatened, have an emergency protective order filed. Document EVERYTHING. Take pictures of all of your possessions. Record conversations if necessary. Understand that you have the power to change your circumstances and your life...Do not accept that this is how it's going to be or that you will even consider raising your daughter with a man like this. They don't change! It's been 11 years now since I left and that man hasn't changed a bit. He just uses his narcissism on our daughter now to manipulate her into believing he cares.
You aren't the first to make this mistake, and you won't be the last. You've gotten some good advice on this thread....sort through the silly parts and handle this with dignity. My prayers are with you and your daughter. |
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Regular
Posts: 65
| I don't even need to read your whole post....GET OUT...be smart about it, get a plan together and I'm sure you have family and friends who will help where needed. Would you want your child to grow up and be in a relationship with someone like that...absolutely NOT, think of what kind of example you will be setting if you stay. He has no regard for your feelings and he showed you that by continuing to speak to her after he begged you for forgiveness....
I got married young and quickly and 3 months after we were married his true colors came out and I left. I loved him, but I knew I could never have kids with this person...it was hard and it will be hard for you and your child....but it won't always be hard...Stay Strong and make a better life for your kid...Good Luck and I'm so sorry. |
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Porta Potty Pants
Posts: 2600
| Consult with a licensed attorney who is familiar with military divorces. If you are stationed away, where you file might depend on what jurisdiction is listed as your "home" state with the military. There is alot of advice on military.com |
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 Twin Sister to Queen Boobie
Posts: 13315
Location: East Tennessee but who knows?! | It took me 15 years to realize who I was married to this last time. There's no guarantees just because you wait. You look at all the marriages that lasted through WW2 where they knew each other a couple days in some cases and they stayed married 50 years. I've seen couples break up that knew each other for a long time before they married. Life is too short & there are no guarantees - do what is best for your mental sanity, physical health , and the mental health of your child long term. Be smart about it and plan it. You can do it. You just have to wake up every morning and tell yourself you can. |
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Ms. Marine
Posts: 4627
Location: Texas | IRunOnFaith - 2016-10-19 9:31 AM
There is no way a judge would grant him custody with him being active military. Trust me.
Prayers and higs for you.
This is true. Single parents have to sign their custody rights away during the enlistment process so no judge would award him custody of your child. Active military are deemed "too unstable" to have sole custody since there's a chance of deployment, PCS, etc. |
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My Heart Be Happy
Posts: 9159
Location: Arkansas | Three 4 Luck - 2016-10-19 10:49 AM
Chandler's Mom - 2016-10-19 2:23 AM Lawyer is your first step. Like everyone said, document EVERYTHING. From app on the phone with the ex, the sleepover, dirty house, not feeding animals, etc. . . My ex was abusive and was having an affair. He was also an alcoholic. Chandler was 8, and Chris threatened me with taking my baby from me. He said he would do anything needed to hurt me, and he said he could bring me and my parents to our knees by taking Chandler. I was doing nothing wrong (no men, no drugs, didn't drink) but I was terrified he would make up lies and get Chandler. I am an AK amputee, and I take one medicine daily for the nerve damage. He told his lawyer I stayed drugged out and never got off the couch. I cannot make you know how terrified my parents and I were. He had 4 DWIs so it was documented he drank and drove. This helped us get supervised visitation; he had to be at his mother's to see Chandler and could not leave with him. Nor could the other woman be there. But I was still scared so when we went to court, I paid him thousands of dollars and took ALL of the debt from our marriage. I got our house, but there was plenty still owed on it. Looking back now, I was such a total idiot----I had a horrible lawyer and he couldn't have taken my child. But Chandler is my world, and I would have given Chris every penny I had and pecked crap with the chickens before I took a chance he could have got Chandler. My baby turned 18 in March, 2 days after Chris died from drinking himself to death. We had basically made peace by that time. I know how scared you are for your baby---get a GOOD lawyer and keep every tiny piece of evidence showing what he's done and/or is doing. Good luck and many many prayers and hugs. Sorry for the book, but your story touched a chord with me. . . Please PM me if you ever want to talk.
"I would have given Chris every penny I had and pecked crap with the chickens before I took a chance he could have got Chandler."
That made me tear up. I am so so so thankful that I didn't have a child with my POS first husband or that could have been me. Bless you for protecting your child the best you could.
Thank you for your kindness T4L---it's very hard to relive all this. And I want to say that Chris wasn't always this way---he was a wonderful daddy when Chandler was born. Took him on the fish ponds so I could sleep some or work on tax returns at home. But he changed and Chandler was my priority. I miss MY Chris, but that man was gone years before he actually passed away. However, I owe him so much because he gave me the greatest blessing of my life---my most precious son.
My heart breaks for the OP knowing what all is ahead of you. Be strong and just look at your daughter for inspiration to keep putting one foot in front of the other. I saw a sign at a church the other day---"If He brings you to it, He will bring you through it." Praying for you and your baby each night. |
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 Take a Picture
Posts: 12838
| You should be able to go to your county attorney to find out what your rights are. They are free. Your husband will probably never be able to get custody especially if you are in another state. You probably need to file for divorce where you are from or you are going to have to run back and forth for court dates which can get expensive. If you called the police when he got violent you have a legal record which is useful for divorce and for child custody. Good move on your part. Dump the chump and move on. Life is too short to be miserable. He has told the other girl he is getting a divorce. Make it happen. |
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Miss Southern Sunshine
Posts: 7427
Location: South Central Florida | Not knowing what state you live in I would suggest that you move near your family and get a job and establish a "life" before he can contest it in any legal way. If you live there already, he can not prevent you from moving away.
As hard as all this is, it is probably not for him. He will bow up and blow hard, but he doesn't sound like he really wants all the care dealing with a baby would involve.
Yet, she has a right to know her father and attempt a relationship through her life, but thats a little farther down the road.
Please don't try to stay and work things out. It is clearly time to go. I will be praying for you in this matter.
Also if you have police records from even 1 call, that may qualify you for some state assistance in divorce and custody legal issues.
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 1176
Location: Nor Cal | OP, any updates? I have been thinking about you. Hope everything is alright <3 |
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My Heart Be Happy
Posts: 9159
Location: Arkansas | Checking back in on you and the baby |
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 On the Countdown
Posts: 2934
Location: Texas | Any updates? Praying for you |
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Expert
Posts: 1694
Location: Willows, CA | Mighty Broke - 2016-10-17 2:18 PM
First---I am a guy.
Second---Have a higher opinion of your self, don't settle, you can do better.
Third-----DUMP HIM
Fourth----NO WAY he would get the kid.
This, dump the ass hole. Don't look back, embrace your family and friends. Sometimes life sucks. There are better days ahead. Believe in yourself, and take care of your child. |
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| Let me help a little bit on simplifying all theses posts ..
You and baby are military dependents and that can't be changed ..
Sell everything you own that you can't carry with you the day you leave
while he is gone on some military exercise or whatever.
Sell or ship your horses as soon as possible and say you sold them ...
Don't hang around packing baby clothes, beds, play pens or whatever
since they can be replaced or outgrown ... leave them there and get
you and baby to Texas ...
Also make copies of all military paperwork on your husband you deem
to be needed later on ... mail them to your future address ...
Once you are on the road for several hours .... call one of your husband's
friends and let them know you have left so you have a witness and no
missing person report will be filed. Tell his friend you are going to
California for a couple of weeks to sort things out while visiting your
aunt Lula Belle .... (fake aunt) ... just as a misdirection of where you
are really going. Just a quick message and no long chit chat ...
Once to Texas ... find a job as soon as possible so you can establish residence
in Texas ..
Get you a Post Office Box for an address for mail ...
Send a change of address to the military ... they have a form ... for your dependent check ... and get that started ...
Now .. go to your local court house to the county clerks office and tell the ladies you would like to file for divorce with a child and see if they have any forms or PDF files you can use to file for filing a divorce.
Now ask if they have the same thing for filing the final divorce decree ... these are the only two things you will present to the court at the start and after the judgement ...
On both forms .. BE SURE ... and ask for the defendant (your husband) pay all attorney fees and court costs on your behalf ... you will find the correct words on the copies you found at the court house ... it is normal for the wife filing to ask for her attorney to paid by husband ...
AND ... as for a restraining order .. you will find the words you need in the court house files .... this saves you time and money from having to do this separately ...
AND visitation rights to daughter only with a social worker present at some place other than your home .....
AND ask for child support of xxx $$$'s as a military dependent
RIGHT NOW YOU HAVE NO ATTORNEY ...
ALSO ... ask if they can show you a couple of recent divorce filings that involve a child and husband in the military .... find a couple you like and pay the $1 per sheet to take home with you. These will be your way of getting the legaleze wording to file in court on your papers .... YOURSELF!! Pay the court filing fees and a fee to have your husband served with the divorce ... very cheap ...
I would also send a copy of the filing for divorce to his commanding officer with a note to help expedite your dependent checks ... attach a copy of the previous form you sent to have them mailed to you so it is easy for him to help if he can.
And it puts him on notice that one of his soldiers is now going thru a divorce ..
YOU CAN DO ALL OF THIS WITHOUT AN ATTORNEY ... all the way to getting your final decree by just following up doing the same thing you did above to file the divorce decree ..
The reason I suggest a do it self divorce is the attorney cost and the long drag out they put a couple through ....... when you walk in the door at an attorney's office they figure out how long and how much they can get from both parties before they ever move on getting a divorce.
Never ever think an attorney is going to expedite the divorce proceedings ... they are in the business of delaying, doing nothing in order to get wife and husband to fighting so they can charge you more as time and frustration wear you both out. ... Attorney's are masters at creating feuds between people that wanted a friendly divorce and had agreed in writing on who gets what .... IT IS THE WAY THEY MAKE THEIR MONEY!!
Always keep in mind attorneys will trade your case with another attorney they may be working with in order to win the other case they have at your demise ...
If he shows up at your home address or where you are working in Texas ... just dial 911 and let the police argue with him...
If you have the restraining order per the above divorce filing .... keep a copy with you at all times until everything is over.
If you get notified of husband cross filing on your filing for divorce ... NOW IS THE TIME TO GO GET AN ATTORNEY ... and anything he writes includes the items I suggested above !!! if THERE is no cross filing then you will win by default without him being there ... just make sure you pay the service fee above for your husband to be per my comments above ... sometimes no fee ... county deputies will do the service .. since you are out of state I am sure there will be a fee and the ladies at the court house when you file will make a call and find out for you ...
DO NOT HANG AROUND AT YOUR PRESENT HOME PACKING UP STUFF PER MY COMMENTS ABOVE...... watch the movies and newspapers ... something bad always happens when they go back to pick up their favorite coat or lipstick .
GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS ...
Edited by BARRELHORSE USA 2016-11-18 1:45 AM
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I am your favorite rash and you know it
Location: Being pushed over the edge, NM | luluwhit - 2016-10-18 11:02 AM i havnt read any replies.
get in a fight... a big one. call the cops. put that on his record. that along with the prior removal of him before the baby was born should be all the ammo you need. then pick up and move home with your family. let a lawyer ( a good one ) sort it out from there.
Let's not conspire to ruin someone's career. She can file a restraining order, which will still get him in trouble with his CO, but not as much as an arrest.
From my experience in law enforcement, DO NOT pack up and leave the state, she is his child too. If he did that you'd want to hit him for kidnapping, it works both ways. If he is violent and threatens you, you need to file a police report and follow up with a restraining order and divorce papers. Do this the right way, you have to maintain composure and think properly to maintain control of the situation.
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 The Original Cyber Bartender
Location: Washington | Start with his chain of command. It truly is that simple.
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| OP I think you have stated your husbands lack of interest in the baby and
your fear of an encounter with a raging drunk ....
So.. for your and your childs safety .... get to Texas as quick as you can before
a drunk knocks your door down at 2 am in the morning ....
There is no piece of paper or CO going to be there to save you and even
if you manage a 911 call .... the police are always 10 minutes late ..
There are no kidnapping charges to be made without a previous court order
that has given him custody of the baby for you to disobey .... then it is
simple contempt of court when you are not in hiding...
Get to Texas, get a job, a texas drivers license and file for divorce in Texas
so he will be the one having to answer to an out of his state court .... and
not you ...
If he is career military he can manage to get transferred to a Texas military
base if he wants close contact with his child ...
I can't believe anyone would suggest you stick it out where you are knowing
there could be violence headed your way ...
Any police officer will tell you that a call on domestic violence can be one
of the most dangerous calls they make or most horrendous call they ever
made ...
So ... pack it up and get to rolling on your way to Texas ...
Edited by BARRELHORSE USA 2016-11-20 4:00 AM
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I am your favorite rash and you know it
Location: Being pushed over the edge, NM | BARRELHORSE USA - 2016-11-20 1:57 AM OP I think you have stated your husbands lack of interest in the baby and your fear of an encounter with a raging drunk .... So.. for your and your childs safety .... get to Texas as quick as you can before a drunk knocks your door down at 2 am in the morning .... There is no piece of paper or CO going to be there to save you and even if you manage a 911 call .... the police are always 10 minutes late .. There are no kidnapping charges to be made without a previous court order that has given him custody of the baby for you to disobey .... then it is simple contempt of court when you are not in hiding... Get to Texas, get a job, a texas drivers license and file for divorce in Texas so he will be the one having to answer to an out of his state court .... and not you ... If he is career military he can manage to get transferred to a Texas military base if he wants close contact with his child ... I can't believe anyone would suggest you stick it out where you are knowing there could be violence headed your way ... Any police officer will tell you that a call on domestic violence can be one of the most dangerous calls they make or most horrendous call they ever made ... So ... pack it up and get to rolling on your way to Texas ...
"Yes, your honor, the crazy guy from the internet told me to over-react, skip the legal process, pack up his kid and flee to another state. Totally sounded legit."
Without a documented history of serious altercations, threats, or behavior, claiming the "fear for my life" thing in court comes off as manipulative and vindictive. My father was married 5 times, I have BEEN THERE to hear many a judge's comments on exactly the actions you're advocating. The fact the husband is military brings other people into play, they have their own oversight and rules, it behooves him to clean up his act and to obey any court orders. Even having the police called to his home can get him called in to the office and paperwork. As a military member he also has access to lawyers, resources, and advocates to protect HIS rights as a father, so telling this girl to disappear with his kid will not end well for anyone and certainly will not look good when it does get to court. My first husband and I were military and we saw several situations like this and your advice is only going to cause unecessary drama, hardship, and heartache.
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Expert
Posts: 1681
| First and foremost call the Cops whenever you feel you need to.
Next call 800-799-7233 which is the Domestic Violence Hotline. http://www.thehotline.org/help/
http://womenslaw.org/gethelp_type.php?type_name=Finding%20a%20Lawyer
Please safety plan. - Make a grab bag with two days worth of clothes for you and baby.
- Medications.
- Important numbers, incase he keeps/breaks your phone. Verizon wireless has HelpLine phones.
- Where can you safely go? DV Shelters are in EVERY state.
- Keep a copy of the marriage license, SSN, checking/credit card accounts, insurance policies, W2s/paystubs, police reports, leases/deeds, ect.
Please message me if you have any questions. I've made a resource book of all the domestic violence shelters in the US.
REMEMBER LOVE DOESN'T HURT.
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My Heart Be Happy
Posts: 9159
Location: Arkansas | Has anyone heard from OP in any way since her last post on here? Kinda worried. . . . |
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Expert
Posts: 1681
| Chandler's Mom - 2016-11-20 8:03 PM Has anyone heard from OP in any way since her last post on here? Kinda worried. . . .
I checked her profile, last login date was Oct. 17th at 4:06pm.
I pray her family is safe.
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 512
| Worried about the OP. Praying for her and her family |
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OT - Needing Marriage/Parenting Advice