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Itchy Boobs
Posts: 360
 
| Are any of you stay at home wife's? My husband and I don't have kids yet but I quit my old job a few months ago and have been looking for a new position however my husband wants me to stay home and continue to cook and clean and do laundry and barrel race and take care of all the animals. Do any of you have experience doing this? |
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 You get what you give
Posts: 13030
  
Location: Texas | no, but it sounds wonderful. I'm tired :/ |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 1096
| I quit teaching after 13 years but we have two children. I run around all over with them. Many times by myself. When I'm not doing that I'm helping my husband with the cattle and crops. There isn't much cooking and cleaning going on here, LOL |
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 Shelter Dog Lover
Posts: 10277
| Yes, it is fabulous especially considering that most working mothers/wives still do most of the cooking, cleaning and animal care. I get to do it without the demands of a job added to it. |
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I just read the headlines
Posts: 4483
| Yes, but I did it with kids. Once the kids were out of elementary school, I got a part time job. I like the part time work because that frees me up to take care of the animals/people in my life - vet/Doctor, buy and unload feed/hay, go with my elderly parents to the panhandle when they need to (that is where their brothers and sisters all live), etc. |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 889
Location: on the fine line between insanity and geniusness | Not to steal the post, BUTTTT- do those of you that stay at home have any kind of side gig to make money, or did responsibility fall solely on hubbys income? I am expecting my first pretty much any day now and really don't want to go back to work. My biggest issue right now is losing my insurance because I work for the state. I don't know that losing my income would be a hard hit as I incur quite a few expenses because of my job. (I drive 120 miles a day round trip) I was just wondering if any of you stay at home moms had a side gig that might could give me some ideas to pay for private insurance. |
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Shelter Dog Lover
Posts: 10277
| When the kids were little I worked weekends and a few evenings a week when hubby could keep them. We had 4 in 4 years so, I would not have cleared much if we had to pay a sitter. I leased apartments. When my husbands income increased I quit the part time work. |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 889
Location: on the fine line between insanity and geniusness | rodeomom3 - 2016-11-27 5:00 PM
When the kids were little I worked weekends and a few evenings a week when hubby could keep them. We had 4 in 4 years so, I would not have cleared much if we had to pay a sitter. I leased apartments. When my husbands income increased I quit the part time work.
I have highly considered going part time. |
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 Shoot Yeah
Posts: 4273
Location: Where you need a paddle... Oregon! | I did it for several years. I quit my job when we got married and didn't go back to work until our youngest entered kindergarten. Then I worked at his school, only part-time, so I could drop him off and pick him up, but I still did all the grocery shopping, cleaning, cooking, house maintenance, feeding, etc. As he got older I was able to work full-time in the school. 16 years later we divorced and I had lost all my earning potential by walking away from a job that paid better than what I make now, 16 years later, and I got to hear from all my "friends" how they didn't believe in spousal support because I CHOSE to stay home to raise our kids. I would do it all over in a heartbeat because our kids were the most important thing and I feel good knowing that I raised them. However, you really need to make sure you are covered financially. I know that sounds SO ominous, but here I am at 46 years old and making barely over 1000 per month working a really great job for the school district, but I don't have any type of college degree, so I can't make more within the school district and I'm limited on what jobs I can get outside of the schools because I have no degree. |
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  Northern Chocolate Queen
Posts: 16576
Location: ND | I'm a stay at home wife......I don't have a "real" job but help with the cattle & farm work, I run the rake during hay season, I have a barn full of really nice young horses that we've raised & are currently bringing along as ranch and mounted shooting horses, plus I do my artwork on the side....I honestly put in more hours & work a lot harder now than I ever did when I had a job in town, difference is that I love what I do now. |
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 A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | SaraJean - 2016-11-27 5:32 PM I'm a stay at home wife......I don't have a "real" job but help with the cattle & farm work, I run the rake during hay season, I have a barn full of really nice young horses that we've raised & are currently bringing along as ranch and mounted shooting horses, plus I do my artwork on the side....I honestly put in more hours & work a lot harder now than I ever did when I had a job in town, difference is that I love what I do now.
You do too have a real job, I think being a stay at home wife works harder then most that do have to work. We dont work off the clock. Our work is never ending, lol..  |
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 Own It and Move On
Location: The edge of no where | Southtxponygirl - 2016-11-27 6:37 PM SaraJean - 2016-11-27 5:32 PM I'm a stay at home wife......I don't have a "real" job but help with the cattle & farm work, I run the rake during hay season, I have a barn full of really nice young horses that we've raised & are currently bringing along as ranch and mounted shooting horses, plus I do my artwork on the side....I honestly put in more hours & work a lot harder now than I ever did when I had a job in town, difference is that I love what I do now. You do too have a real job, I think being a stay at home wife works harder then most that do have to work. We dont work off the clock. Our work is never ending, lol..
Edited by MS2011 2016-11-27 7:10 PM
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 Owner of a ratting catting machine
Posts: 2258
| rodeochick123 - 2016-11-27 3:12 PM
Are any of you stay at home wife's? My husband and I don't have kids yet but I quit my old job a few months ago and have been looking for a new position however my husband wants me to stay home and continue to cook and clean and do laundry and barrel race and take care of all the animals. Do any of you have experience doing this?
Let me know if you ever get into spouse swapping. |
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Own It and Move On
Location: The edge of no where | classicpotatochip - 2016-11-27 7:06 PM rodeochick123 - 2016-11-27 3:12 PM Are any of you stay at home wife's? My husband and I don't have kids yet but I quit my old job a few months ago and have been looking for a new position however my husband wants me to stay home and continue to cook and clean and do laundry and barrel race and take care of all the animals. Do any of you have experience doing this? Let me know if you ever get into spouse swapping.
LOL - no joke! I'm in line behind you! |
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You get what you give
Posts: 13030
Location: Texas | MS2011 - 2016-11-27 7:05 PM
Southtxponygirl - 2016-11-27 6:37 PM SaraJean - 2016-11-27 5:32 PM I'm a stay at home wife......I don't have a "real" job but help with the cattle & farm work, I run the rake during hay season, I have a barn full of really nice young horses that we've raised & are currently bringing along as ranch and mounted shooting horses, plus I do my artwork on the side....I honestly put in more hours & work a lot harder now than I ever did when I had a job in town, difference is that I love what I do now. You do too have a real job, I think being a stay at home wife works harder then most that do have to work. We dont work off the clock. Our work is never ending, lol..
amen... that is what I will be (working wife/working mom in the future). I know we will share responsibilities, but I'll be doing a lot at home on top of my work schedule, and on call schedule... I'll be run ragged. Actually, if anything, my fiance will probably have to do more of the parenting things whenever we have kids (after we're married), because his schedule will allow him to actually go to meetings and recitals and all that jazz.
Edited by casualdust07 2016-11-27 7:16 PM
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 Expert
Posts: 1611
Location: bring on the heat, NV | I am a stay at home ranch momma. I didnt actually stay home until I was expecting and now we have 2 under the age of five. It was hard at first for me but for different reasons. Lil kids limit to some extent what Im able to help with ranch wise but Im figuring things out. I became a distributor to promote a product I believe in and make a little on the side to pay for my horse showing but im about 100 miles one way from town... so no part time for me lol. I think itll depend on your circumstances. If its working now why not try it? It's harder for me to not have a "job" then having one at least at first now im much more settled and with my boys I dont think I would want it any other way.
Edited by moapajetrider 2016-11-27 7:26 PM
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 I'm Really Boring
Posts: 4505
| I'm not married yet but I do know that I could never be a stay at home wife simply because I cannot handle being dependent on another person. That would make me incredibly uncomfortable. However, if you think it's right for you, go for it. |
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 Dog Resuce Agent
Posts: 3459
Location: southeast Texas | Stay at home wife is great, but what if things go south,,, death of spouse, spouse not able to work, spouse walks out. Have a backup plan. |
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A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | Sorry if I offended the working women on here, I have had so many different women some friends and not, that they wanted to work away from home because they didnt want to have stay at home because it was to much stress on them being at home and dealing with the kidos. Crazy I know.. put been tolded this more then a few times.. But didnt mean to offend or rubbed in the wrong way, Sorry to the offended  |
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 My Heart Be Happy
Posts: 9159
Location: Arkansas | SaraJean - 2016-11-27 5:32 PM
I'm a stay at home wife......I don't have a "real" job but help with the cattle & farm work, I run the rake during hay season, I have a barn full of really nice young horses that we've raised & are currently bringing along as ranch and mounted shooting horses, plus I do my artwork on the side....I honestly put in more hours & work a lot harder now than I ever did when I had a job in town, difference is that I love what I do now.
Oh yes mam you have a real job----there is no one that works harder than moms (or non-moms) who stay home and take care of houses, yards, cooking, cleaning, homework, horses, cattle, kids,errands, pets, and husbands. It's always made me mad when people say "oh she doesn't work, she's a stay at home mother (or, again, non-mom). Y'all have HARD REAL jobs. |
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My Heart Be Happy
Posts: 9159
Location: Arkansas | MS2011 - 2016-11-27 7:05 PM
Southtxponygirl - 2016-11-27 6:37 PM SaraJean - 2016-11-27 5:32 PM I'm a stay at home wife......I don't have a "real" job but help with the cattle & farm work, I run the rake during hay season, I have a barn full of really nice young horses that we've raised & are currently bringing along as ranch and mounted shooting horses, plus I do my artwork on the side....I honestly put in more hours & work a lot harder now than I ever did when I had a job in town, difference is that I love what I do now. You do too have a real job, I think being a stay at home wife works harder then most that do have to work. We dont work off the clock. Our work is never ending, lol..
I don't think Roxie meant that at all. But coming from a work-at-office (and night time at home on tax returns and fish ponds) girl, I take my hat off to the "stay at homes". I don't want to trade places with them! |
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Northern Chocolate Queen
Posts: 16576
Location: ND | MS2011 - 2016-11-27 6:05 PM Southtxponygirl - 2016-11-27 6:37 PM SaraJean - 2016-11-27 5:32 PM I'm a stay at home wife......I don't have a "real" job but help with the cattle & farm work, I run the rake during hay season, I have a barn full of really nice young horses that we've raised & are currently bringing along as ranch and mounted shooting horses, plus I do my artwork on the side....I honestly put in more hours & work a lot harder now than I ever did when I had a job in town, difference is that I love what I do now. You do too have a real job, I think being a stay at home wife works harder then most that do have to work. We dont work off the clock. Our work is never ending, lol..
Dang, didn't mean to offend anyone. I've just been on both sides & I know that in MY case I work 100x harder now than I did when I had an office job. There's day's I wish I could go back to work so I could get some rest now! |
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Own It and Move On
Location: The edge of no where | SaraJean - 2016-11-27 8:21 PM MS2011 - 2016-11-27 6:05 PM Southtxponygirl - 2016-11-27 6:37 PM SaraJean - 2016-11-27 5:32 PM I'm a stay at home wife......I don't have a "real" job but help with the cattle & farm work, I run the rake during hay season, I have a barn full of really nice young horses that we've raised & are currently bringing along as ranch and mounted shooting horses, plus I do my artwork on the side....I honestly put in more hours & work a lot harder now than I ever did when I had a job in town, difference is that I love what I do now. You do too have a real job, I think being a stay at home wife works harder then most that do have to work. We dont work off the clock. Our work is never ending, lol..
You didn't.... BOTH jobs can be tough! :D
And I understand this probably wasn't meant the way it came across - home wife works harder then most that do have to work. We dont work off the clock. Our work is never ending, lol.
Just because some of use have a job away from home, doesn't mean that we don't also take care of everything at home as well. I haven't located that magic wand or fairy godmother that does all the home stuff for me just because I'm at work. LOL |
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 Expert
Posts: 2258
| I have been at home since we got married, I really have no talents besides the horses so I probably couldn't make enough money to make it worth working. It isn't easy either my husband works out of town a lot so it is all up to me. We have a stud, small band of mares, foaling, breeding, training , selling ect and years like this one were really hard. I spent two months feeding an orphan filly and I know I didn't sleep more than 3 hrs a day/night and she went to every horse event we went to so she wouldn't miss feedings. I was so exhausted but so worth it at the end of the day. I wish I could contribute more money to our family but I do put in a lot of hours, of course there are days or even months when things slow down. |
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Industrial Srength Barrel Racer
Posts: 7268
| I can't IMAGINE not having to go to a job! I've worked since I was probably 12. I think I would get bored but I'd sure like to give it a try although it would make me nervous being so dependent on somebody else. |
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 Bulls Eye
Posts: 6443
Location: Oklahoma | I've worked since I was 16. We just had our 2nd daughter and I spent 8 weeks at home with her. I honestly enjoyed my time home with her and now that I'm back at work it's tough. I'm independent and didn't think I'd like staying home. But, I learned to relax. Now that I'm back working, there doesn't seem to be enough hours in the day to get everything done especially with an infant in the mix. |
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 Hawty & Nawty
Posts: 20424
| I'm a stay at home something or other. I'm an author, so that helps. Hubby works odd and long hours, so at least this way we see each other when we can. |
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 Expert
Posts: 1286
Location: Mississippi | I "tried" to quit my job a few years ago and they talked me into working from home with less hours. I feel extremely blessed although I do feel like I work harder than I did in an office setting. I rarely actually sit down and rest during the day. I work about 4 or 5 hours in the morning and after that, I am either cooking, cleaning or taking care of animals. I will say though that my stress level has gone to basically zero and my shoulder/back pain has subsided from not sitting at a desk 40 hours a week. I love being a stay at home wife - I feel like it has always been my calling. I actually enjoy cooking and secretly really like cleaning/laundry  . |
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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 495
Location: Washington | I live this "luxury". Both kids are in school this year, ages 8 and 5. Husband is self employed running two companies. Some times I wish I could go back to work and have some consistency, only thing consistent in my day is dropping off and picking up kids from school. It's a running joke with friends what my day looks like and if my husband has called with my To-Do list. NOW I give kudos to moms that work and come home and do the daily wife/mother job when they get home! How you all fit it in, I have NO clue!
We have buffalo, cattle and horses that need tended so this time of year sucks, short days, bad weather and MUD. I am a busy body and actually cried my last day of "real" work. I did find a hobby of sewing to keep me busy on "quiet" days, when I'm not going and getting feed, rounding up loose cows, riding (which can be a chore when you have to scrape mud off three horses so kids can ride too), running errands for two companies, etc.......
There is only so much house cleaning a person can take day in and day out! LOL
ETA: In laws have flat out made comments to me when I said I have no time, "What better do you have to do?!" But when I offer to let them hang out with me for a day they pass! We get no vacations, rarely eat out. Our horses/livestock and kids are our lives. (Not necessarily in that order! lol)
Edited by Lopin' Leopard 2016-11-28 7:26 PM
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 Serious Snap Trapper
Posts: 4275
Location: In The Snow, AZ | I'm a stay at home mama that didn't go back to work. My husband handles the finances. He works dang hard to keep the wheels turning, but he wants me at home... and I love it. Just as everyone else has said, that doesn't mean I sit around and watch tv. There's laundry and dishes to do, horses to be rode, stalls to be cleaned, waters to be filled, bills to be paid, errands to run, homework to help with, kid activities, etc. Personally, I don't know how people go to work and handle domestic duties. I wish I could contribute more to the financial side, especially since he pays for, and encourages me to race. But I couldn't imagine going back to work, and still taking care of home duties. |
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Veteran
Posts: 276
| Look around for something from home or part time from home. I found a position 30hrs per week and most of it is from home, after we had our daughter. The cut in pay for me is no where near what I would spend driving to/being in town everyday. I love it. Just enough of a break from being home, yet I have so much extra time to get things done around the house. Best of both worlds I think. |
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Expert
Posts: 2531
Location: WI | I couldn't do it, the financial dependency part of it. Just make sure you are covered financially if anything happens to your hubby. Once you leave the workplace it can be challenging to get back in. |
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 Undercover Amish Mafia Member
Posts: 9992
Location: Kansas | MS2011 - 2016-11-27 7:05 PM Southtxponygirl - 2016-11-27 6:37 PM SaraJean - 2016-11-27 5:32 PM I'm a stay at home wife......I don't have a "real" job but help with the cattle & farm work, I run the rake during hay season, I have a barn full of really nice young horses that we've raised & are currently bringing along as ranch and mounted shooting horses, plus I do my artwork on the side....I honestly put in more hours & work a lot harder now than I ever did when I had a job in town, difference is that I love what I do now. You do too have a real job, I think being a stay at home wife works harder then most that do have to work. We dont work off the clock. Our work is never ending, lol..
shoot I hear you. I don't have a husband or boyfriend, but I work 8-4:30...come home take care of all the animals, cook, pick up the house, do laundry, take care of kiddo, and STUDY on top of that lol |
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Industrial Srength Barrel Racer
Posts: 7268
| hoofs_in_motion - 2016-11-28 10:53 AM
MS2011 - 2016-11-27 7:05 PM Southtxponygirl - 2016-11-27 6:37 PM SaraJean - 2016-11-27 5:32 PM I'm a stay at home wife......I don't have a "real" job but help with the cattle & farm work, I run the rake during hay season, I have a barn full of really nice young horses that we've raised & are currently bringing along as ranch and mounted shooting horses, plus I do my artwork on the side....I honestly put in more hours & work a lot harder now than I ever did when I had a job in town, difference is that I love what I do now. You do too have a real job, I think being a stay at home wife works harder then most that do have to work. We dont work off the clock. Our work is never ending, lol..
I honestly don't know how some of you do it! I am guessing you don't sleep! I watched the grand babies last week for a couple hours (ages 1 and 8 weeks), the horses ate 2 hours late and I got NOTHING ELSE done - AT ALL. |
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 Dancing in my Mind
Posts: 3062
Location: Eastern OH but my heart is in WV | rodeochick123 - 2016-11-27 3:12 PM
Are any of you stay at home wife's? My husband and I don't have kids yet but I quit my old job a few months ago and have been looking for a new position however my husband wants me to stay home and continue to cook and clean and do laundry and barrel race and take care of all the animals. Do any of you have experience doing this?
In my book, you are a very lucky woman. You stated that your husband is encouraging you to continue your barrel racing and all the animals, so it does not sound like he is "controling" the money or holding it against you that you are not working.
I always said that I would NEVER be a stay at home mom but at 46 with 2 very active kids, I now fully realize why God designed the roles of men and women the way he did. I have a good job but my home and farm suffers. I am embarassed to have family or friends just stop by because my house is a mess, I have a lot of stress concerning home issues because I feel like I don't have enough time to get things done. We are exterme busy with the kids, I also feel like my husband and I miss out on so much family time (such dinners at the tables, horses ready when my daughter gets off the bus to go for a ride, playing catch in the yard...). I would now trade my job to be able to take care of our home but we have become to dependent on the income at this point in our lives.
Best of luck in your decision, I know it is easy to think one way when you are younger vs when you are older.  |
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 Blaines and Beauty
Posts: 1431
| I've been a stay at home mom for a few years now and I love it. I worked and was a supervisor for a fairly big city. I got sick of the politics involved and we decided that since my hubby has a good income, I would just do everything at home. I won't say it's easier BC I'm going 100 mph all the time but I love the freedom and being my own boss. I also give riding lessons and take in outside horses every once in a while to train. I do all the mowing, Bush hogging, watering and dragging the arena, feeding animals, all the upkeep outside plus all the house work. We are starting a new business (feed store, tack store) and I'm doing all the paperwork, handling of that and helping with building the interior so I'll be going back to work soon. But I have to say, being on both sides of it, I would pick staying at home any day over heading to a job where I have someone over me. Like I said, I enjoy being my own boss and I stay motivated and don't get lazy about it. |
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Married to a Louie Lover
Posts: 3303
| We have dreamed about this being reality when we have kids.
Unfortunately I provide the insurance right now so the government has to get that figured out, no way we could swing everything plus insurance, but the plan is to get a lot of our debt hammered down before kids so me taking a job closer to home or part time with insurance might be a possibility. |
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Owner of a ratting catting machine
Posts: 2258
| I guess the only other thought I had, is OP, I remember you being very young a few short years ago.
I'm now in my early 30s, and have worked hard through my life, whether it be at a job or in school. Some of my friends have walked the same path as I have, (held off having kids, gotten a college education, and a full career). Their lives are showing the benefits of this, and they are able to do more things that they want more than ever. I have been able to be a successful partner to my husband financially, and we are now able to start contemplating career choices that would put us on a slower work pace.
I just don't want you to not get a full college or technical education because you fill your life with your husband and keeping house.
Several of my friends have gone the rely on a husband route, and one is now living with her mother trying to raise her kids on minimum wage because the marriage fell apart. She is going to college part time and is nearly 40. She walked away from the marriage with nothing but child support, a nice bedroom suite, 12 alimony payments and a car. She had the opportunity to go to school on his dime, and have an open window in case a door shut, and she procrastinated. I feel like her story is too common.
I'm just saying, no matter what you decide to do, is don't get lazy. If you get lazy, you seal your fate, and life is harder later. Stay in the middle of your own life, and don't look to a man to provide it for you. He can walk away any time and leave you wishing you had a good education and work skills to fall back on and stand on your own.
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 Veteran
Posts: 206
Location: Downsouth | Been there, done that and hated it. It took four years to realize that I was suffering from depression. Most days, I stayed in my pajamas until bedtime. I would take a bath to put on another pair. I am OCD so it just didn't work for me. My house was spotless, meals fit for a king, laundry done, floors swept, beds made, bathrooms cleaned, animals fed, stalls cleaned..... and I always looked like a hot mess. I was exhausted!!! My feet started hurting after the first year. Plantars Fasciitis. Doctor said to stay off my feet as much as possible. I looked at him like his hair was on fire. 3 years later, and almost crippled, I went back to work. One of the best decisions I have ever made.
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 Strong Willed Woman
Posts: 6577
Location: Prosser, WA | In life, almost everything is about what you make of any given thing. The judgements about who works harder are kind of silly. There are hard workers and lazy people in every job out there. |
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Shelter Dog Lover
Posts: 10277
| kakbarrelracer - 2016-11-28 4:33 PM
In life, almost everything is about what you make of any given thing. The judgements about who works harder are kind of silly. There are hard workers and lazy people in every job out there.
I stayed home with 4 kids all a year apart and as busy as I was I know I had it much easier than a working mom. Kudos to moms/wives who can do both, I know I was not capable of handling it all. Now that the kids are grown and gone there is still a lot to handle on our small hundred acre ranch but I am definitely on the lazy side :). |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 380
| I'm a stay at home mom. I get lots of comments from my family about how I need a real job. They have no idea how hard I work. They think I just laze around all day. My job is 24/7, no sick time and no vacation. Add a chronic illness that zaps all of my energy and I am not sure how I could fit anot her job into my life with two toddlers. I envy people with that much energy. But my work at home is important too. I am raising people here! |
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 No Tune in a Bucket
Posts: 2935
Location: Texas | classicpotatochip - 2016-11-28 3:46 PM I guess the only other thought I had, is OP, I remember you being very young a few short years ago. I'm now in my early 30s, and have worked hard through my life, whether it be at a job or in school. Some of my friends have walked the same path as I have, (held off having kids, gotten a college education, and a full career). Their lives are showing the benefits of this, and they are able to do more things that they want more than ever. I have been able to be a successful partner to my husband financially, and we are now able to start contemplating career choices that would put us on a slower work pace. I just don't want you to not get a full college or technical education because you fill your life with your husband and keeping house. Several of my friends have gone the rely on a husband route, and one is now living with her mother trying to raise her kids on minimum wage because the marriage fell apart. She is going to college part time and is nearly 40. She walked away from the marriage with nothing but child support, a nice bedroom suite, 12 alimony payments and a car. She had the opportunity to go to school on his dime, and have an open window in case a door shut, and she procrastinated. I feel like her story is too common. I'm just saying, no matter what you decide to do, is don't get lazy. If you get lazy, you seal your fate, and life is harder later. Stay in the middle of your own life, and don't look to a man to provide it for you. He can walk away any time and leave you wishing you had a good education and work skills to fall back on and stand on your own.
^^^^ This is so true. I know several women who relied on their husband's profession to support them and their families and then in their 40s and 50s being left without the ability to maintain a good life without a good job. They worked hard, at home, thinking that it wouldn't happen to their marriage but it happens even to good, smart people. |
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I just read the headlines
Posts: 4483
| SloRide - 2016-11-28 5:29 PM
I'm a stay at home mom. I get lots of comments from my family about how I need a real job. They have no idea how hard I work. They think I just laze around all day. My job is 24/7, no sick time and no vacation. Add a chronic illness that zaps all of my energy and I am not sure how I could fit anot her job into my life with two toddlers. I envy people with that much energy. But my work at home is important too. I am raising people here!
Amen!! |
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 Expert
Posts: 2604
Location: Texas | I am a stay at home wife, no children. I have a married step daughter and granddaughter but they live out of state. I got laid off shortly after we got married. My husband told me to take a few months off and chill. He realized that I was a much more pleasant person without the stress of a job, and that he liked coming home to a clean house, laundry and meals. He has me spoiled rotten! I keep the house clean, laundry done, in the summers I keep the lawn mowed (if he lets me, he is kind of anal about the yard and enjoys doing it himself). I cook more in the winter, but in the summer he grills a lot. Again... I am VERY spoiled and know it! |
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 Queen Bee Cat Owner
Posts: 3629
Location: Way up North | I think it is great he wants you at home! I think what most are trying to say is just to make sure you have a backup plan. You could have a great relationship and never have to worry about being divorced but unfortunately things happen. What if he is injured and can no longer work or if he passes away? I would take full advantage of being at home by looking into things like a side hustle, honing a skill or trade; anything that can help ensure your future and accomplish goals you have together. If you have a good work ethic there are always jobs out there if you decide to go back but may be you could start something from home that would be the best of both worlds. |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 507
Location: Lost in the corn of Iowa. | rodeochick123 - 2016-11-27 3:12 PM
Are any of you stay at home wife's? My husband and I don't have kids yet but I quit my old job a few months ago and have been looking for a new position however my husband wants me to stay home and continue to cook and clean and do laundry and barrel race and take care of all the animals. Do any of you have experience doing this?
Is your husband open to the idea of sister wives. LOL! I'd love for my husband to want me to quit my job and stay home and take care of the place and barrel race. |
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Veteran
Posts: 227
Location: Heart of Texas | If you have the opportunity I say try it! What's the worse thing that happens, you hate it and go back to work in 6 months. Unless you're missing out on a great job or quitting will financially keep you from still doing what you love what do you have to lose?? **But as everyone has cautioned already, keep an ace in the hole. Don't put yourself so dependent on him should he leave you're screwed. Plus your marriage will fair better if you don't feel 'trapped' cuz you have no other options. Good luck! |
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 Good Grief!
Posts: 6343
Location: Cap'n Joan Rotgut.....alberta | I love the stay at home part...its the wife thing i hated...lol...;)..m |
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Veteran
Posts: 268
| Rolling J - 2016-11-28 11:34 AM
rodeochick123 - 2016-11-27 3:12 PM
Are any of you stay at home wife's? My husband and I don't have kids yet but I quit my old job a few months ago and have been looking for a new position however my husband wants me to stay home and continue to cook and clean and do laundry and barrel race and take care of all the animals. Do any of you have experience doing this?
In my book, you are a very lucky woman. You stated that your husband is encouraging you to continue your barrel racing and all the animals, so it does not sound like he is "controling" the money or holding it against you that you are not working.
I always said that I would NEVER be a stay at home mom but at 46 with 2 very active kids, I now fully realize why God designed the roles of men and women the way he did. I have a good job but my home and farm suffers. I am embarassed to have family or friends just stop by because my house is a mess, I have a lot of stress concerning home issues because I feel like I don't have enough time to get things done. We are exterme busy with the kids, I also feel like my husband and I miss out on so much family time (such dinners at the tables, horses ready when my daughter gets off the bus to go for a ride, playing catch in the yard... ). I would now trade my job to be able to take care of our home but we have become to dependent on the income at this point in our lives.
Best of luck in your decision, I know it is easy to think one way when you are younger vs when you are older.
I am the same as Rollin J. I work full time with 2 busy boys....my husband works full time as well. My job pays more so the option of quitting is not there...my house suffers as well....I do my best as far as cleaning but it is usually a mess..... Sometimes I hire someone to clean for me. We also have cattle and of course the horses. I also believe that stay at home moms work VERY hard as well.... When I was on mat leave I wondered how I ever worked! It's all about choices....I am very independant .... If I want something, I buy it. I would hate to feel like I was dependant on my husband for everything... As some have said ..If things go bad you can only count on yourself to look after you. |
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Strong Willed Woman
Posts: 6577
Location: Prosser, WA | I'm a stay at home mom. There are days I work so much harder than I did when I was working full time but there are days it's easier. I knew a long time ago that I wanted to either work full time and see how high I could climb the latter or have kids and stay home with them. Also when my husband and I were first talking about kids I made more than him so one option was for him to stay home. By the time we had them he made more. Neither one of us wanted both of us to be working when we had kids. He always works a lot of overtime and when I still worked quite a bit of overtime was expected as well. Just part of the construction business. Now he has a new job where he is pretty much on call 24/7, he travels and has meetings 1 to 3 times a week in the evenings. It works for us for me to stay home. It takes a leap of faith to be a stay at home mom but it takes a leap of faith to get married and have kids as well. My kids also go to school out of district so I have to drive them to and from school. Even though my youngest starts Kinder next year we don't plan on me going back to work. I do raise horses, have some cattle and will help my dad on the farm this next year.
I think if it works it works, if it doesn't go back to work. LOL |
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| Ashley Lynn - 2016-11-27 4:34 PM
Not to steal the post, BUTTTT- do those of you that stay at home have any kind of side gig to make money, or did responsibility fall solely on hubbys income? I am expecting my first pretty much any day now and really don't want to go back to work. My biggest issue right now is losing my insurance because I work for the state. I don't know that losing my income would be a hard hit as I incur quite a few expenses because of my job. (I drive 120 miles a day round trip) I was just wondering if any of you stay at home moms had a side gig that might could give me some ideas to pay for private insurance.
Buckle up and KEEP THAT STATE JOB WITH STATE INSURANCE .....
make sure new little one and hubby are on it ....
People that do not have government jobs are the hardest hit on
insurance costs ... you need a 2nd job to have anything to show
for working after you pay your insurance ...
Best advice I can give on another note is child care ...
get someone as close to where you live as possible and
make the drive by yourself ...
No reason to put the kid thru a long drive all buckled up in
their little prisoners seat and with the crazy drivers out
there ... baby will be safer very close to your home..
GOOD LUCK ... right now with your insurance you are
a great asset to your family!!
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BHW's Simon Cowell
Location: The Saudia Arabia of Wind Energy, Western Oklahoma | Having a job of your own gives you so many more options. I stayed at home and did all of that but I figured out that working was so much more rewarding. The pride in bringing home your own money is really a great thing. |
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Location: in the ozone | MS2011 - 2016-11-27 6:05 PM
Southtxponygirl - 2016-11-27 6:37 PM SaraJean - 2016-11-27 5:32 PM I'm a stay at home wife......I don't have a "real" job but help with the cattle & farm work, I run the rake during hay season, I have a barn full of really nice young horses that we've raised & are currently bringing along as ranch and mounted shooting horses, plus I do my artwork on the side....I honestly put in more hours & work a lot harder now than I ever did when I had a job in town, difference is that I love what I do now. You do too have a real job, I think being a stay at home wife works harder then most that do have to work. We dont work off the clock. Our work is never ending, lol..
In SaraJean's situation, I would NOT downplay it at all!! She worded it that she doesn't have a "real" job but she DOES. Her artwork and photography ARE her "job" - the way she makes money. The thing that some of you are not remembering in a situation like this, you leave your 9-5 job (for example) & it's done ... you go on to all the other responsibilities in your life. She - & others like her that are self employed - end up working all kinds of hours, all days. And if they get behind due to other responsibilities (working on the ranch for example), then she has to make up that time in her JOB.
I've been in both situations in the past - and I'd sure rather take the "job away from home" vs the stress of my own business - plus the responsibilities of helping on the ranch, household, kids (if any), having a big garden & putting up all our food, etc.
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 I Prefer to Live in Fantasy Land
Posts: 64864
Location: In the Hills of Texas | ksjackofalltrades - 2016-11-30 12:24 PM Having a job of your own gives you so many more options. I stayed at home and did all of that but I figured out that working was so much more rewarding. The pride in bringing home your own money is really a great thing.
I totally agree. I was a stay at home mom for 5 years and I hated asking for money for anything and one day I asked for something and a remark was made about how I needed to get a job for all the crap I wanted. I had one within 3 days. It gave me self worth and I never looked back or yearned to be that stay at home wife/mother. When Momma's not happy....No body is happy..LOL
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BHW's Simon Cowell
Location: The Saudia Arabia of Wind Energy, Western Oklahoma | Nevertooold - 2016-11-30 4:05 PM ksjackofalltrades - 2016-11-30 12:24 PM Having a job of your own gives you so many more options. I stayed at home and did all of that but I figured out that working was so much more rewarding. The pride in bringing home your own money is really a great thing. I totally agree. I was a stay at home mom for 5 years and I hated asking for money for anything and one day I asked for something and a remark was made about how I needed to get a job for all the crap I wanted. I had one within 3 days. It gave me self worth and I never looked back or yearned to be that stay at home wife/mother. When Momma's not happy....No body is happy..LOL
?It is just better all around. You never know how your relationship with your husband might go downhill. Having your own job and a way to make a living is good for everything. I had a friend thats husband didn't want her work. His main reason was he didn't want her to not be dependant on him. My husband really preaches that the women need to get their own job because he is a lawyer and sees so many women that have no way to support themselves and end up staying in a bad marriage because of they have no way of making a living. |
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Shelter Dog Lover
Posts: 10277
| ksjackofalltrades - 2016-11-30 6:49 PM Nevertooold - 2016-11-30 4:05 PM ksjackofalltrades - 2016-11-30 12:24 PM Having a job of your own gives you so many more options. I stayed at home and did all of that but I figured out that working was so much more rewarding. The pride in bringing home your own money is really a great thing. I totally agree. I was a stay at home mom for 5 years and I hated asking for money for anything and one day I asked for something and a remark was made about how I needed to get a job for all the crap I wanted. I had one within 3 days. It gave me self worth and I never looked back or yearned to be that stay at home wife/mother. When Momma's not happy....No body is happy..LOL
Edited by rodeomom3 2016-12-01 6:14 AM
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My Heart Be Happy
Posts: 9159
Location: Arkansas | rodeomom3 - 2016-11-30 6:54 PM
ksjackofalltrades - 2016-11-30 6:49 PM Nevertooold - 2016-11-30 4:05 PM ksjackofalltrades - 2016-11-30 12:24 PM Having a job of your own gives you so many more options. I stayed at home and did all of that but I figured out that working was so much more rewarding. The pride in bringing home your own money is really a great thing. I totally agree. I was a stay at home mom for 5 years and I hated asking for money for anything and one day I asked for something and a remark was made about how I needed to get a job for all the crap I wanted. I had one within 3 days. It gave me self worth and I never looked back or yearned to be that stay at home wife/mother. When Momma's not happy....No body is happy..LOL
And where can we find one of those to put under the tree with a bow on his booty for Christmas?!!!!  |
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Shelter Dog Lover
Posts: 10277
| Chandler's Mom - 2016-11-30 11:30 PM rodeomom3 - 2016-11-30 6:54 PM ksjackofalltrades - 2016-11-30 6:49 PM Nevertooold - 2016-11-30 4:05 PM ksjackofalltrades - 2016-11-30 12:24 PM Having a job of your own gives you so many more options. I stayed at home and did all of that but I figured out that working was so much more rewarding. The pride in bringing home your own money is really a great thing. I totally agree. I was a stay at home mom for 5 years and I hated asking for money for anything and one day I asked for something and a remark was made about how I needed to get a job for all the crap I wanted. I had one within 3 days. It gave me self worth and I never looked back or yearned to be that stay at home wife/mother. When Momma's not happy....No body is happy..LOL
And where can we find one of those to put under the tree with a bow on his booty for Christmas?!!!!
I definitively hit the husband jackpot. We met and married within 5 months and almost 30 years later still crazy about each other :). |
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Owner of a ratting catting machine
Posts: 2258
| rodeomom3 - 2016-12-01 6:18 AM
Chandler's Mom - 2016-11-30 11:30 PM rodeomom3 - 2016-11-30 6:54 PM ksjackofalltrades - 2016-11-30 6:49 PM Nevertooold - 2016-11-30 4:05 PM ksjackofalltrades - 2016-11-30 12:24 PM Having a job of your own gives you so many more options. I stayed at home and did all of that but I figured out that working was so much more rewarding. The pride in bringing home your own money is really a great thing. I totally agree. I was a stay at home mom for 5 years and I hated asking for money for anything and one day I asked for something and a remark was made about how I needed to get a job for all the crap I wanted. I had one within 3 days. It gave me self worth and I never looked back or yearned to be that stay at home wife/mother. When Momma's not happy....No body is happy..LOL
And where can we find one of those to put under the tree with a bow on his booty for Christmas?!!!!
I'm also married to a giver like that!! I'm really spoiled, even though we're equal on the earning scale. He doesn't hassle me much (mostly just to tease me!) about what I want to buy, and goes in with me regularly on the really big stuff. I know that we would be just fine if I ever needed to stay home.
I think it truly depends on the man, but I just really encourage my stepdaughter and anyone in their teens and twenties to get an education and be ready to fend for yourself.
My Mom is divorced from my Dad after 34 years of marriage. She was a stay at home ranch wife for all 34.
She has a Bachelors of Science and a teaching degree, and she didn't have any trouble relocating to a new state and find work that was satisfying to her.
Sometimes **** happens, and there's nothing you can do but smile and go to work.
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Shelter Dog Lover
Posts: 10277
| I definitely agree about getting an education then you have choices. Staying at home may not be for everybody just like working outside the home might not be for everybody. |
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A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | rodeomom3 - 2016-12-01 6:18 AM Chandler's Mom - 2016-11-30 11:30 PM rodeomom3 - 2016-11-30 6:54 PM ksjackofalltrades - 2016-11-30 6:49 PM Nevertooold - 2016-11-30 4:05 PM ksjackofalltrades - 2016-11-30 12:24 PM Having a job of your own gives you so many more options. I stayed at home and did all of that but I figured out that working was so much more rewarding. The pride in bringing home your own money is really a great thing. I totally agree. I was a stay at home mom for 5 years and I hated asking for money for anything and one day I asked for something and a remark was made about how I needed to get a job for all the crap I wanted. I had one within 3 days. It gave me self worth and I never looked back or yearned to be that stay at home wife/mother. When Momma's not happy....No body is happy..LOL
And where can we find one of those to put under the tree with a bow on his booty for Christmas?!!!!
What a great feeling that is to meet and 5 months later get married. Same with my husband, we met hung out and dated and 5 months later we had a small country wedding in my Aunt and Uncle's front yard, raised two wonderful boys now have 4 wonderful grandchildren, we will be married 37 years this coming April..I did work once to help out a friend at a fruit packing shed during the Christmas season to get Gift fruit shipped out all over the country, it was a fun job. |
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boon
Posts: 3
| I have been married to a rodeo cowboy for 16 years and have been a stay at home wife since we got married. Staying at home is definitely a full time job as well. Taking care of all the animals and trying to ride and train your own barrel horses AND take care of kids and home. HUGE kudos who have a "real" job and take care of everything at home! I recently needed to start adding financially to our family and going back to a 9-5 real job just wasn't what I wanted to do. This summer I was introduced to an amazing company who's products have helped my husbands arthritic pain and my energy and digestive issues. It's been a blessing for our health and our finances. There ARE opportunities out there that enable you to work from home!! :-) |
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Red Bull Agressive
Posts: 5981
Location: North Dakota | rodeochick123 - 2016-11-27 3:12 PM
Are any of you stay at home wife's? My husband and I don't have kids yet but I quit my old job a few months ago and have been looking for a new position however my husband wants me to stay home and continue to cook and clean and do laundry and barrel race and take care of all the animals. Do any of you have experience doing this?
Wow, no but I wish! We couldn't get by on one salary, at least at this point. |
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 Three in a Bikini
Posts: 2035
| Oi...
I have a thought or two about this topic.
Whatever you decide, be sure to consider the future.
For example:
What happens if your marriage disintegrates?
Do you have a prenup?
Do you have an education?
Do you have skills that would be favorable in a hiring situation for whatever career you choose?
Just think about it.
I hope to one day be able to stay at home when we have children, but I have made very sure that I will be able to take care of myself whatever situation I wind up in.
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 Chicken Chick
Posts: 3562
Location: Texas | My husband doesn't want me to go back to work so he doesn't have to pick up the slack and play Mr. Mom lol. When I do work, I work.. it is all or nothing with me lol. Everywhere I have worked I end up working a crazy amount of hours and it usually turns into 7 days a week. My husband's mon-fri 8-5 means he is at home first trying to get my son to do his homework, keeping the toddler contained, cooking, cleaning, laundry, school functions, dealing with my weird animals that make everything crazy if you don't do it exactly the way I do it lol. He prefers I stay home with the kids lol.
The worst part for me is I get bored.
Right now for extra money I am cleaning apartments for an apartment complex. It is super easy, after they do the make ready I go in and clean, depending on the size it might take 2 hours. The apartments I get aren't bad, some of them look like the tenant cleaned before they left. I am my own boss, I just need to get the apartment cleaned before the next tenant moves in. Sometimes I have a couple of days to fit it in, sometimes I know about it a couple of weeks in advance. |
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 Chasin my Dream
Posts: 13651
Location: Alberta | I am and we don't have kids....I do have a homebased business and work 1 day a week at a cattle sale barn. We run cattle with my folks operation so allows me to help there as well. I'm not sure how I kept up with everything when I did work fulltime. Hubby is currently unemployed which wasn't planned but we still make it all work. |
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My Heart Be Happy
Posts: 9159
Location: Arkansas | rodeomom3 - 2016-12-01 6:18 AM
Chandler's Mom - 2016-11-30 11:30 PM rodeomom3 - 2016-11-30 6:54 PM ksjackofalltrades - 2016-11-30 6:49 PM Nevertooold - 2016-11-30 4:05 PM ksjackofalltrades - 2016-11-30 12:24 PM Having a job of your own gives you so many more options. I stayed at home and did all of that but I figured out that working was so much more rewarding. The pride in bringing home your own money is really a great thing. I totally agree. I was a stay at home mom for 5 years and I hated asking for money for anything and one day I asked for something and a remark was made about how I needed to get a job for all the crap I wanted. I had one within 3 days. It gave me self worth and I never looked back or yearned to be that stay at home wife/mother. When Momma's not happy....No body is happy..LOL
And where can we find one of those to put under the tree with a bow on his booty for Christmas?!!!!
Everytime I read about you and your husband it makes me smile to know there are those kind of marriages out there still. |
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Shelter Dog Lover
Posts: 10277
| Southtxponygirl - 2016-12-01 9:25 AM rodeomom3 - 2016-12-01 6:18 AM Chandler's Mom - 2016-11-30 11:30 PM rodeomom3 - 2016-11-30 6:54 PM ksjackofalltrades - 2016-11-30 6:49 PM Nevertooold - 2016-11-30 4:05 PM ksjackofalltrades - 2016-11-30 12:24 PM Having a job of your own gives you so many more options. I stayed at home and did all of that but I figured out that working was so much more rewarding. The pride in bringing home your own money is really a great thing. I totally agree. I was a stay at home mom for 5 years and I hated asking for money for anything and one day I asked for something and a remark was made about how I needed to get a job for all the crap I wanted. I had one within 3 days. It gave me self worth and I never looked back or yearned to be that stay at home wife/mother. When Momma's not happy....No body is happy..LOL
And where can we find one of those to put under the tree with a bow on his booty for Christmas?!!!!
Yes it is, we have so much fun together. Our first grandchild is 20 months and like you, we are so enjoying thus next part of our life together. |
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I Prefer to Live in Fantasy Land
Posts: 64864
Location: In the Hills of Texas | For all of you that stay at home and have ranches, train horses etc....You have a job that allows you to stay at home instead of getting in a vehicle and driving to it. What you guys do is hard work and hats off to you. You are also taking take of kids, if any, and all the household chores.
A stay at home wife is one that stays at home and takes care of the kids, if any, and takes care of all of the household chores.
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My Heart Be Happy
Posts: 9159
Location: Arkansas | rodeomom3 - 2016-12-03 7:21 AM
Southtxponygirl - 2016-12-01 9:25 AM rodeomom3 - 2016-12-01 6:18 AM Chandler's Mom - 2016-11-30 11:30 PM rodeomom3 - 2016-11-30 6:54 PM ksjackofalltrades - 2016-11-30 6:49 PM Nevertooold - 2016-11-30 4:05 PM ksjackofalltrades - 2016-11-30 12:24 PM Having a job of your own gives you so many more options. I stayed at home and did all of that but I figured out that working was so much more rewarding. The pride in bringing home your own money is really a great thing. I totally agree. I was a stay at home mom for 5 years and I hated asking for money for anything and one day I asked for something and a remark was made about how I needed to get a job for all the crap I wanted. I had one within 3 days. It gave me self worth and I never looked back or yearned to be that stay at home wife/mother. When Momma's not happy....No body is happy..LOL
And where can we find one of those to put under the tree with a bow on his booty for Christmas?!!!!
My parents will have been married 52 years Feb 14, 2017. Both sets of grandparents were married til death separated them which was around 50 years for one and 55 for the other. So when Chris and I divorced I felt like such a failure, like I let not only Chandler down but my whole family. (Chan turned 9 14 days after Chris left.) And I worry about the repercussions to Chandler from what he saw during the last few (bad) years because Chris was mean and hateful when he drank. I worry I stayed too long and that will hurt Chandler in the future. . . I just have so much anxiety over if I did things right or not. So that's why I love your story; I want to be reassured that's still out there for my baby in the future. |
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Stay at home wife?