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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 696
  
| Well this is going to be long but i really just need to vent and get things off my chest. I have been barrel racing since i was 14 (so 13 years). I started college in 2007. I continued to compete all through college but always severly looked forward to being done with school so i could focus on barrel racing (or so i thought). Well school took me longer than it should because i didn't focus. In 2012 my mom passed away and she was my biggest fan and was at every single race so that hit me hard and i took a short break. During that time end of 2012 i met my now husband. In 2013 (still in school) we bought a house with land and then immediatly found out we were pregnant with twins. Needless to say ever since that day we have seriously struggled with bills. I sold my barrel horse and quit riding all together. In 2015 (still in school) i figured i'd try again and bought a really nice horse. Well the twins were almost 2 years old so of course i just didn't have the time so i sold him. Now i'm down to just one horse that is a pasture ornament just because he is my "old faithful" that i have had since i was 14. So with all that being said... Now i FINALLY graduate with my Bachelor's in accounting in 9 days... I am working only part time (because with twins it doesn't make financial sense for me to work full time with day care) so i finally have time to ride but now we still have no money and i have no horse that can actually be ridden hard since my old faithful is 24 and has been in the pasture for years. I guess i'm just kind of depressed that this goal that i have had for so many years isn't even possible. I have worked so long and hard and i still don't have the money or means to be able to ride again.
If you have read this far, thank you! The last time i even swung a leg over a horse was in august when my house/city flooded (i'm in baton rouge, la if anyone heard about our flooding) and i had to ride him out of chest deep water. I can't even remember the last time i actually exercised a horse. For someone like me whose life was nothing but horses it's depressing to not have that anymore. |
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 Take a Picture
Posts: 12841
 
| My best suggestion is to find a young horse that you can buy reasonably, work with he horse and get it read to break. There is A Streak of Fling baby for cheap because he has one eye that I think people are overlooking. I'd grab him but he is in FL and I'm in TX. Nice horse. Personally I get a lot of satisfaction from working with babies. You may not feel this way but trying to help. There have been some other nice babies reasonably priced lately. |
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 A Barrel Of Monkeys
Posts: 12972
Location: Texas | You are doing things right. You will never regret getting your degree or making time for your kiddos. And I'm so sorry you lost your mom - you are too young to suffer such a loss.
Now to horses: I was in your position way back when, and I saved up my pennies and bought what I could afford. Believe me, some were good, some were bad and some were so so. One thing they all did was make me a better trainer and better horsewoman.
Spending what time you can with your prospect will give you some satisfaction and put you back in the game. It's not an all or nothing game - do what you can until you can do more.
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 Shelter Dog Lover
Posts: 10277
| Fun2Run - 2016-12-08 12:00 AM You are doing things right. You will never regret getting your degree or making time for your kiddos. And I'm so sorry you lost your mom - you are too young to suffer such a loss.
Now to horses: I was in your position way back when, and I saved up my pennies and bought what I could afford. Believe me, some were good, some were bad and some were so so. One thing they all did was make me a better trainer and better horsewoman.
Spending what time you can with your prospect will give you some satisfaction and put you back in the game. It's not an all or nothing game - do what you can until you can do more.
Great advice, this time in your life will go by faster than you think. |
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 I hate cooking and cleaning
Posts: 3314
Location: Jersey Girl | I'm so sorry you are going thru this and "life has gotten in the way". I can relate. I haven't been able to ride for over a year due to medical issues and have been battling depression off and on this entire time.
I think you have been given some great advice. Try getting a cheap horse and bring it along yourself. Before you know it those kids will be grown and you will be able to do as you please. |
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 Bulls Eye
Posts: 6443
Location: Oklahoma | I hear you. I sold everything except one horse over the past year... including my once in a lifetime. I loaded him on the trailer to his new home the day after I found out I was pregnant. We moved to a nice house in a subdivision and I board my one horse. She is coming 4 and I haven't broke her yet. Now, I have an almost 9 year old daughter and a 3 month old daughter and no time. I won't sell this horse because she is my sanity. She may not get broke right away, but I need her for me. My husband understands. Yes, money is tight and if an offer came I might let her go, but I know we can get through this... |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 507
Location: Lost in the corn of Iowa. | So sorry to hear about the loss of your mom, always a tough time no matter how old you are.
But with that being said, I myself took a 15 year break from any form of competition so I could focus on raising my kids. When my youngest was 12 I decided it was time for me again. I always had horses, but I just changed my focus and took up trail riding and camping instead. Which, even though kinda sucked at times because I missed competing it was a compromise. I could enjoy horses, and spend time with my family and let my kids grow up with an amazing life around horses. Plus, you learn some neat tricks to camping that you can still use when you do overnight shows later on. And the people I met along the way are wonderful. I'm back into barrel racing and like others have posted, I have bought what I could afford and just have the most fun I can with it. |
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 Owner of a ratting catting machine
Posts: 2258
| Honestly, I don't think you should worry about buying a horse right now. It doesn't sound like you can handle the added stress or financial burden. I think you need to be there for your kids, and focus on getting a good job so you can use your education you worked so hard for. You are a mother and a wife, and they need you first.
However, I understand the horse bit. Why couldn't you find a really good place to take lessons several times a week? Barrel racing, reining, cutting, sorting, jumping? It doesn't matter, because you need someone to help you get back into riding shape, and get on decent horses that are ready to roll, so that then you can walk back out to your car and go home. Then when you're financially, physically, logistically, and mentally ready, you can dive back in cheerfully knowing that you can do it!
Edited by classicpotatochip 2016-12-08 7:57 AM
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Married to a Louie Lover
Posts: 3303
| I think if you have a place in the area for lessons that's a great option.
I also think looking at a reasonably priced, middle aged, solid little jackpot horse might be something to consider. Given everything going on in life right now, owning the 1D rodeo champion and hitting the road for the super show jackpot every weekend probably isn't going to happen.
But some thing that is safe and sane and can get you back out to the local events, PLUS will be ideal as a first horse for the twins when they are a little bit older might be just the ticket right now, and can be found pretty reasonably priced depending on your location. |
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 A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | classicpotatochip - 2016-12-08 7:55 AM Honestly, I don't think you should worry about buying a horse right now. It doesn't sound like you can handle the added stress or financial burden. I think you need to be there for your kids, and focus on getting a good job so you can use your education you worked so hard for. You are a mother and a wife, and they need you first. However, I understand the horse bit. Why couldn't you find a really good place to take lessons several times a week? Barrel racing, reining, cutting, sorting, jumping? It doesn't matter, because you need someone to help you get back into riding shape, and get on decent horses that are ready to roll, so that then you can walk back out to your car and go home. Then when you're financially, physically, logistically, and mentally ready, you can dive back in cheerfully knowing that you can do it!
Very good advice  Its great to hear a young mom with a good head on her shoulders and putting her family first. As time gos by things will start falling into place and you will get back to what you love doing.  |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 602
| I understand not barrel racing anymore, Ive been on a 3 year break due to kids. Riding horses is therapeutic and its hard to let that go when life changes. Keep your goals and don't be afraid to go jump on old faithful in the pasture. I think getting out and going on a trail ride will help change your mood. I had severe post partum with my first kid and the only thing that helped me get through it was my old horse. I didn't ride for the first 6 months but I went out every day (10-15 mins) brushed, hugged, and kissed my horse. Having a few minutes by yourself surrounded by something you are passionate about will help get ya out of the funk. Give the barrel racing thing some time, you will get back into it but being mom is priority at moment. Before you know it, your kids will be riding next to you.  |
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I just read the headlines
Posts: 4483
| Southtxponygirl - 2016-12-08 8:36 AM
classicpotatochip - 2016-12-08 7:55 AM Honestly, I don't think you should worry about buying a horse right now. It doesn't sound like you can handle the added stress or financial burden. I think you need to be there for your kids, and focus on getting a good job so you can use your education you worked so hard for. You are a mother and a wife, and they need you first. However, I understand the horse bit. Why couldn't you find a really good place to take lessons several times a week? Barrel racing, reining, cutting, sorting, jumping? It doesn't matter, because you need someone to help you get back into riding shape, and get on decent horses that are ready to roll, so that then you can walk back out to your car and go home. Then when you're financially, physically, logistically, and mentally ready, you can dive back in cheerfully knowing that you can do it!
Very good advice Its great to hear a young mom with a good head on her shoulders and putting her family first. As time gos by things will start falling into place and you will get back to what you love doing.
This is great advice. I was were you are now 30 years ago. It gets better but not as soon as you would like it to. Hang in there and dote on those twins, these years never come back. Feel free to come on here to vent, though. I would have. |
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Take a Picture
Posts: 12841
| I guess I am different from the rest of you guys. Horses are what helps me keep my sanity. I am the only person, including my young nieces, who does not have high blood pressure and I attribute that to being able to get out and brush my horses. If I can't ride I do groundwork or groom. |
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| Do what you can with what you have. Find a few inexpensive local divisional barrel races or fun shows that you can go to with old faithful and have fun. I know it is frustrating to have a dream in your heart and and not be able to pursue it but you have to keep in mind that it wont be long and your kids will be grown. Trust me this time will fly by and you do not want to miss it. There will be plenty of time to run barrels later. Mary Burger and June Holeman are both examples that you can do it as long as you choose.
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 I Don't Brag
Posts: 6960
| Well heck, I wish you were a little *make that a LOT) farther North. I would love to find some one near me to help me ride my "colts" to get them finished being broke and get them started on job skills. Hubby is OTR truck driver and rarely home so I have no one to ride with. In my advancing years I find myself reluctant to get on these "babies (5 yr olds) with no one else around even though they have done nothing wrong (getting dumped on my head awhile back also doesn't help). I am willing to get on them more readily if I have a good, sane horse being ridden with them, just in case. It would also be a plus to have someone with me to haul them, along with finished horses, to get them started on the way to becoming barrel horses, instead of prospects.
Maybe you could start attending some local jackpots to start networking to find someone like me, who could use some help. This would allow you to ride without a big investment, gaining some more experience along the way, that might help you when you can afford to buy you own. |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 696
| Thank you all so much for your kind words. That is exactly what I needed. I know my kids and family are definitely my priority as they should be. I just need to start spending some quality time with the one I have and I'm sure just that little bit will make me feel better. |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 696
| streakysox - 2016-12-09 7:12 AM
I guess I am different from the rest of you guys. Horses are what helps me keep my sanity. I am the only person, including my young nieces, who does not have high blood pressure and I attribute that to being able to get out and brush my horses. If I can't ride I do groundwork or groom.
You know it's funny you say that.... I developed high blood pressure when I was pregnant 3 years ago and it has never gone away. I no longer spend time with my horse or do anything horse related so that's what I'll blame the blood pressure on!! |
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Take a Picture
Posts: 12841
| runnin.on.dreams - 2016-12-08 12:25 PM
streakysox - 2016-12-09 7:12 AM
I guess I am different from the rest of you guys. Horses are what helps me keep my sanity. I am the only person, including my young nieces, who does not have high blood pressure and I attribute that to being able to get out and brush my horses. If I can't ride I do groundwork or groom.
You know it's funny you say that.... I developed high blood pressure when I was pregnant 3 years ago and it has never gone away. I no longer spend time with my horse or do anything horse related so that's what I'll blame the blood pressure on!!
Buy your horse a new brush for Christmas. Both of you will enjoy it. Laughing.
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 Porta Potty Pants
Posts: 2600
| I hear you. I've taken a break a few times ... I have a horse now but my son isn't into riding, so my riding really took a back seat to raising him. Now that he's 14 and taller than me, I realize that I really don't have much time left before he's off to college. Between family and work, I don't have much time to ride. My horse has been off for about 4 weeks because he got a hot nail and my saddle had to go back to circle y for repair. (at least that happened at the same time). I board my horse and just got notice that my board is going up to $400/month in January. I'm just about to that point where it's cost prohibitive for me to have a horse that I can't ride due to my schedule and having to pay as much as a car payment. My husband is concerned that I might lose my mind if I don't have a horse. However, right now, it causes me stress to have him stand there without being ridden (even though I couldn't because he was hurt). He gets turned out every other day and is well cared for, but I have stress about it. That was a long way to say, you're kids will only be little once. You won't regret the time you spend with them. Kudos to you. |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 878
Location: "...way down south in the Everglades..." | runnin.on.dreams - 2016-12-08 1:25 PM streakysox - 2016-12-09 7:12 AM I guess I am different from the rest of you guys. Horses are what helps me keep my sanity. I am the only person, including my young nieces, who does not have high blood pressure and I attribute that to being able to get out and brush my horses. If I can't ride I do groundwork or groom. You know it's funny you say that.... I developed high blood pressure when I was pregnant 3 years ago and it has never gone away. I no longer spend time with my horse or do anything horse related so that's what I'll blame the blood pressure on!!
I'm like you two...I can't go without. But I've been in your shoes OP (had a child while still in school because I didn't know what I wanted to do and drug school out by changing majors like 5 times....finally bucked down and got my degree in accounting too). I don't have much advice except try, whenever possible, to spend time grooming and loving on your old faithful. And try to see if anyone needs help exercising or training green and young ones. When I had nothing to ride I literally put an ad on Craigslist and met a lady that I helped break out her 2 year old. It wasn't barrels and it actually was a gaited horse, but it still made me so happy just to be back out riding. But I still wanted to get back to barrel racing. It depressed me to even watch anyone else compete. But all I can say is eventually things fell into place. About the time my son turned 7 I was starting to get back on track. Now I couldn't be happier...but there was about a 10 year stretch where I struggled financially, career-wise, and being a first time Mom...barrel racing wasn't in the cards at that time. Just don't give up on your dreams...someday you will look back and realize all these struggles were really blessings in disguise to prepare you to be the stronger person you will become. In the meantime, enjoy the time with your twins as they really do grow up too fast :-) |
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 Just a Yankee
Posts: 1239
Location: Some where I haven't left yet | I lost my Husband a smidge over two years ago. He was my biggest fan and strongest supporter. I was left in a financial mess when he passed. While I don't have much advise - I will say that I understand the loss of "YOU". While it's great that you are spending time with your kids, make sure that your life doesn't revolve so much around them that you lose "you". Your kids will have a valuable lesson learning from "Mom" who will be their superhero. I am in process of getting "Me" back, don't lose you for too long. As you know life is short and don't look back with regret. |
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Veteran
Posts: 220
Location: Conroe, TX 77304 | Well, I am over the hill and stopped running because my daughter was afraid I was going to get hurt. She rode our 2 1D open horses. Which I could at least go and watch her run and help (I keep the horses). This made me still be part of the game. Then 1 of our horses stifle messed up and injections did not work anymore (she is still rideable, but cannot run her anymore). So she just rode our old faithful which was 24 and still could compete and at least be in the 2D, but then she almost cut her foot off and I had to put her down. The horse we had bought to be the next horse, turned out to not make it, so my daughter just gave up and decided to just concentrate on her girls.
So now all I do is trail ride on the horse with the stifle problem. Trying to make the best of it, but it is hard. I miss the life of a barrel racer. |
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Missing the barrel racing life... Depressed