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 Regular
Posts: 52
| So I'll keep this short but recently I've felt pretty negative about owning horses. I've been riding for a while (several years) and lately I've had such bad luck with horses that I'm starting to resent it. I honestly don't know what to do anymore. Between the amount of money I put into them and the health issues and behavioral issues, I'm starting to feel like quitting. Not to mention every time I get a tiny bit of enthusiasm to go ride the weather stops me (I have no indoor). I've thought about selling everything and just taking lessons or finding someone to let me ride but the thought of selling my guys kills me. Even as I'm writing this its hard not to cry just thinking about it. I'm not looking for a sympathy card from anyone on here... I just felt like I needed to share/vent with people who understand the horse world. Most of the people in my life are not horse people so talking to them about it is like talking to a wall.... |
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The Advice Guru
Posts: 6419
  
| I don't have an indoor arena either to ride it, the only time I don't ride when it is -20 Celsius.
I will haul over 30 min one way to ride if I need to.
If you aren't happy, sell the horse.
Buying the horse is the cheap part, we all have vet bills, we all have behaviour issues in horses at some point. I take these incidences and learn from them, and look at it in a positive way, not a negative. |
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Location: South Dakota | I can relate to you and feel your pain and frustration. I just buried one of my horses last week, he had a tumor in his abdomen and there was no hope...it is devastating. I have had so much bad luck with horses the past few years, struggles with soundness, and loss of life to injuries, heart attacks, it just piles on...For me giving up is not an option, I love training, competing, the whole horse owning deal too much to not have it in my life...however I am ready for some good luck already, and I wish that for you as well. If you love your horses, even if they have issues, don't rush into any decision...life is full of valleys and peaks for all of us, and in time the fun and passion will return. Winter in itself is a challenge, and I can't wait for spring. |
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I just read the headlines
Posts: 4483
| I feel for ya. I have several horses I can't ride, all lameness issues and I won't sell because I had a bad experience the last time I sold one. I have one horse to ride but he is scared to death of cows so I can't help bring up the cows or check fences, water, etc. on him, all things I love to do. I started resenting the situation which made it worse. It's a hard place to be. I have decided to start all over on him and remind myself daily how much I love him and how good it felt when I tried him out to buy. I don't have any advice, just wanted you to know you are not the only one to feel this way. |
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 Texas Taco
Posts: 7499
Location: Bandera, TX | The only thing that keeps me sain(ish) is knowing that other horse owners also have these issues...
I have taken my horses to more vets than barrel races over the last couple of years. It is constantly something, and yes it is expensive and very frustrating. But they are my family and I just deal with it hoping for better times.
Hang in there - you are not alone!!!! |
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 Hog Tie My Mojo
Posts: 4847
Location: Opelousas, LA | Not to be Debbie Downer, but everytime I get discouraged about the horses I have had to bury, or the ones that just didn't pan out and everything in between (Lord knows there have been many). I just think about all the people that are gone too soon, aren't lucky enough to have good health or be born in this great country of ours and all of the others that dont have the opportunities I have, and I realize it could be much, much worse than horse problems. Maybe you need a break, maybe you just need to pin your ears and grit your teeth and go after what you want. Either way, consider yourself lucky to have that choice, many don't and never will. Hugs to you, hope things start looking better soon! |
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"Heck's Coming With Me"
Posts: 10797
Location: Kansas | Barnmom - 2017-02-07 10:38 PM Not to be Debbie Downer, but everytime I get discouraged about the horses I have had to bury, or the ones that just didn't pan out and everything in between (Lord knows there have been many). I just think about all the people that are gone too soon, aren't lucky enough to have good health or be born in this great country of ours and all of the others that dont have the opportunities I have, and I realize it could be much, much worse than horse problems. Maybe you need a break, maybe you just need to pin your ears and grit your teeth and go after what you want. Either way, consider yourself lucky to have that choice, many don't and never will. Hugs to you, hope things start looking better soon!
 ............Very Nice............ |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 678
Location: Canada | Why don't you hire a coach to work with you. Find someone that can help you with your horses behavioral issues and get you having some good rides again. A good coach will help you build your confidence and if this horse isn't for you help you realize that and find something that is better suited to you.
Best of luck! |
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Member
Posts: 6
| I can 100% relate to this. I decided to sell my last gelding when we weren't getting along and I was sure that was what needed to be done. Sold him and bought a new one.
Brought the new one home after doing research and loving him when I tried him--he had all kinds of issues that were not disclosed to me. I feel like I want to get out and find the next one that "fits" but I also see the temperature at 30*, the wet dirt patch that I can barely ride in and the lack of space and funds after they run me dry.
I know that barrel horses are my passion and I'll get back to it but I'm taking a "break" to try to remember that. It will get better! |
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 Porta Potty Pants
Posts: 2600
| I can so relate to this. Been dealing with issues since October. Soundness, work, hot nail, work, ripping off his shoes in pasture, work, my hurt foot, work, cut back leg, work ... seems like every time I start with the light work outs to get him back in shape, something happens. It's not even comical anymore.  |
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 Expert
Posts: 2097
Location: Deep South | In the horse game, you really have to "want" it for it to all be worth it. That's why we're all "that crazy horse lady" to everyone that doesn't own horses. If you don't eat sleep and breathe this stuff, I don't know how anyone could justify it.
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Nut Case Expert
Posts: 9305
Location: Tulsa, Ok | Welcome to the reality of horse ownership!!! Every owner probably gets discouraged because for a good percentage the downs certainly out-number the ups. If you can't get past it, it may not be the hobby investment for you. |
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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 456
Location: SW MO | TimeFlys885 - 2017-02-07 7:21 PM
So I'll keep this short but recently I've felt pretty negative about owning horses. I've been riding for a while (several years) and lately I've had such bad luck with horses that I'm starting to resent it. I honestly don't know what to do anymore. Between the amount of money I put into them and the health issues and behavioral issues, I'm starting to feel like quitting. Not to mention every time I get a tiny bit of enthusiasm to go ride the weather stops me (I have no indoor). I've thought about selling everything and just taking lessons or finding someone to let me ride but the thought of selling my guys kills me. Even as I'm writing this its hard not to cry just thinking about it. I'm not looking for a sympathy card from anyone on here... I just felt like I needed to share/vent with people who understand the horse world. Most of the people in my life are not horse people so talking to them about it is like talking to a wall....
I have been riding for over 10 years. Had multiple nice 1D horses in a row, some I owned, some I didn't. I had back surgery from riding another persons horse at the JHM at ardmore, and since 2014 the horse business has been really rough for me. I have failed to keep everything I have had my hands on sound, tried 50+ horses for sale, and most I can tell they are sore or have a lameness before I even see the owner ride the horse. Thousands of vet bills and failed prospects later, I have sold all my tack, need to find a home for a horse, and the truck and trailer is next. It is ok to take a break, or never go back to riding. Just depends on what you want to spend your money on. I have been emotional over this decision for about 2 months, and have felt like I have slammed my head on a wall since 2014. If you are resenting it, maybe just give your horses a break till the weather is better. I was one of those people who would do anything, haul anywhere, and spend what ever it took to try to compete. It is hard to maintain. Sorry I feel like this isn't super helpful, but if you take a break then you will have more time for your head to clear and then make a decision that you are satisfied with. |
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 Balance Beam and more...
Posts: 11511
Location: 31 lengths farms | I threw my sucker in the dirt a year and a half ago after my mom passed away. My mom was that person that made me believe I could achieve anything, even at 80 with Dementia she still would get in the truck with me or bundle up and sit out in the chair in the cold or sit in what little shade we could find to watch me ride. The "Go Nan!!!" from the stands always helped to take a few ticks off the clock ;-) Riding without her there took some shine off of it some how. My dad was drilling a well with a friend at his place, I got home and dad had moved mom's chair ( I left it there so mentally she was still there watching ) and I lost it. About 2 months later I picked myself up because I knew mom would want me to and made a half arsed try and getting back to it. Still is something I have to talk myself thru almost each and every ride. Right now I'm on a forced break from riding as my little mare is injured and my pastures are water skiing lakes. I'm a little scared as this is the first time in 45+ years I 've made it to February with out having a Winter meltdown over not getting enough riding time....hoping Spring will help some. |
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 I hate cooking and cleaning
Posts: 3314
Location: Jersey Girl | I can relate too. I haven't been able to ride since November 2015 due to health issues. Lately I wonder why I even have or sometimes wish I didn't have these beastly animals. But then I realize they are what keeps me going on tough days.
Hang in there.....as this too shall pass. |
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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 312
Location: KS | Not completely unrelated......I had a baby in August and still haven't got the chance to get back on, I was asked very nicely not to ride during my pregnancy either, so I didn't. I haven't been on a horse in over a year.....never in my life has it been that long. I have 5 of them out in the lot.....they're living the dream eating all the brome my husband has baled up. I did sell 2 colts a couple months ago that I really wanted to keep but knew I didn't have time for them, so I let them go, one of the hardest things for me but hope they found a good home, and someone that does have time for them.
So I guess I can somewhat relate, the want is still there, but finding time is hard. I have a hard time asking someone to watch my son just so I can ride, and sadly my husband isnt quite as helpful during daylight hours when it comes to watching him, so I guess I've kinda accepted that they may not get rode too much for awhile....its hard though, but I guess the costs doesn't weigh too much on me as we do bale our own hay and grow our own oats and my husband doesn't complain that he's feeding them for no reason....so this makes it easier to keep them.
Have others had a hard time getting back on after having babies? |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 929
| I feel for you. As the mom of a 2 year old boy with a 1/2 hr commute both directions, no indoor (and no lights) I have been over the horses for a while due to an unexpected move to a more rural location, hubby taking on more work, and less $$ for barrel races and other events. We have even sold two of our horses to make more time (and have more spare $) for competitions and the training of my colt. I'm still frustrated when I don't get to ride, which is much of the time.
But when I DO... I AM SO HAPPY!!!!!!  You say you don't want to sell your horses. Can you lease them out? This way they are getting the work and care they need but you won't have "lost" them and can still ride or see them occasionally. |
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 Expert
Posts: 2258
| We had the worst year last year just was hard, lost some good horses, sick horses and a vet bill I have no idea how I am going to pay off. We decided to keep some of our young stock some 2 and 3 yr olds , one broodmare who got hurt last year, and the ones we are riding and running. I am ready to take a break from breeding. I have been at it for 30 years and I tell you what last year broke me emotionally I just couldn't take one more heartache. I am still in the process of selling mares and our stud, I have one foal coming after losing a set of twins last month but I am looking forward to some down time. I am not sure if I will ever go back to raising colts. There is nothing wrong with taking a break . |
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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 432
Location: Tennessee | I felt like this too not long ago. I had a horse that I thought I loved, or at least I wanted to love him. Truth be told, I loved him on the ground but we just didn't click riding. He had thrown me a few times and I was leery of him. It wasn't fun any more. I finally bit the bullet and traded him. I lost a decent amount of money, b/c he was bred well and I traded him for a grade gelding. I've never been happier though. I've had the new guy since Christmas Eve and have done more riding in the last month and a half than in the last 2 years (and the weather hasn't even been the least bit cooperative). I've found my passion again and wish I'd talked myself into doing it so much sooner. The right horse can make all the difference in the world... |
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boon
Posts: 3
| I have gone through a very similar situation this past year. I was a successful western pleasure futurity trainer, fearless, and loved every minuet I spent in the barn. I bought a 1D barrel horse that had sat for a few years and started competing. It was a different kind of challenge and I fell in love. We became competitive very quickly.
In February of 2016, I slipped and fell on the ice and had a nasty concussion. Wasn't able to ride for about two-ish months. Suffered from major headaches, vertigo and some balance issues. I tried going back to training and had zero confidence and no desire to do it anymore. I was scared of my barrel horse and it was a struggle to even ride her. I was frustrated and was ready to give up everything. I didn't think I would ever get back to where I was. I gained so much weight (which added to the balance issues..) and struggled with literally everything that used to come so easy. I had fallen off/bucked off more this past year than I had my entire life. I was so close to selling off everything. I was defeated and had no interest anymore. A few months ago, my husband started riding with me and helping me get the futurity horses broke and quiet. I started working out and regaining some of my strength. I made an effort to work on my balance and improve my riding. My husband pushed me to get out and ride again and start entering again. Finally, after a year of battling myself-- I feel like I have my abilities back. I am back to enjoying all things that owning horses has done for me. |
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"Heck's Coming With Me"
Posts: 10797
Location: Kansas | All I can say is if you want to quit, then quit. In looking back at all the wonderful vacations I might have gone on but didn't because of my commitment to caring for horses, both barrel and race, it wasn't worth it. I'm a senior citizen now, still working, and have never seen a national park or Mt. Rushmore or the Grand Canyon. Wasn't worth it. |
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Porta Potty Pants
Posts: 2600
| Frodo - 2017-02-10 1:11 PM
All I can say is if you want to quit, then quit. In looking back at all the wonderful vacations I might have gone on but didn't because of my commitment to caring for horses, both barrel and race, it wasn't worth it. I'm a senior citizen now, still working, and have never seen a national park or Mt. Rushmore or the Grand Canyon. Wasn't worth it.
There is some truth to this as well. Since I've slowed down my riding (well, it doesn't exist at the moment - my horse is just recycling hay) I've been open to travel more and try new things. |
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Veteran
Posts: 103
| If you have to force yourself to do it, in my opinion it is not worth it.
Take a break and see where you are afterwards. You will either miss it like crazy and start craving it again, or figure out that you didn't really miss it that much at all and you might not want to do it anymore.
Good luck! |
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 Veteran
Posts: 254
Location: Ft Worth TX via California | ?I have felt this way lately as well! I moved to Tx 10 years ago and have had to board , what a nightmare it has been, best horse broke his pelvis, another broke his leg while boarding, now where I have a new horse its costing 550.00 a month with rundown barn. All I do is work 10 hr days to pay for everything and get to ride once a week if lucky. The thought of life without horses is heartbreaking its what I live for and everyone needs a passion in life, |
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 Thread Killer
Posts: 7545
| Frodo - 2017-02-10 2:11 PM
All I can say is if you want to quit, then quit. In looking back at all the wonderful vacations I might have gone on but didn't because of my commitment to caring for horses, both barrel and race, it wasn't worth it. I'm a senior citizen now, still working, and have never seen a national park or Mt. Rushmore or the Grand Canyon. Wasn't worth it.
This.
If, after taking a break or quitting, you find yourself really missing horses, you can go back.
I'm pretty much done with horses now. Not sure if I'll ever get back into it myself, but you can bet I'll keep up with the horse world and always go to QH Congress. lol! I am deeply grateful for the opportunities I had as a child/teen. I learned so many hard, and very sad lessons that my friends (in their 20's) are only now just learning. (Responsibility, the value of a dollar, empathy, etc). I suppose you can learn these things early without the responsibility of livestock ownership, but I was always insanely jealous of my "city slicker" classmates. They always complained that they had to...take out the trash or clean their rooms. 
For me, the lows of owning horses are usually frequent and really, REALLY low. The highs are infrequent to say the least. I'll always love horses - no matter where life takes me - but that doesn't mean I want to own one again.
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 Money Eating Baggage Owner
Posts: 9586
Location: Phoenix | I think I am also at this point. Horse needs knee surgery and I can't afford it at the moment. Even if I COULD afford the surgery, I can't afford a horse trailer and what's the point of having a sound horse if I have no way of taking him anywhere? It's frustrating. I'm about to send him home and semi-retire him. |
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