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 Expert
Posts: 2128
  
| So I know there are several of you on here who have legal knowledge and/or a background in law.
Here is the situation:
My brother has an almost 4 year old son. The "baby mama" dropped him off a year or more ago and has only contacted by phone maybe 2 times. She has several other kids and is known to not care well for any of them. Shes been arrested before on child endagerment type charges. Shes a known drug user and has dated known drug users in which her children are exposed. SHES textbook unfit mother.
The problem is my brothers name is not on the birth certificate. He needs to make this happen in order to enroll my nephew in school among other reasons. He is a working class man, and cannot afford a large amount of legal bills. What is the most simple and cost efficent way for him to gain legal custody of his son? My brother takes excellent care of his son. The poor kid wouldnt stand a chance in his mothers care :(
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 Toastest with the Mostest
Posts: 5712
 
Location: That part of Texas | He really needs to go talk to an attorney in your area because state laws vary on this topic. I'm not sure if your state has some form of legal aid or otherwise he will probably be able to go through the child support office to possibly get things started. In Texas, he would qualify as someone who could file -- despite him not being on the birth certificate -- because he's had the child for over 6 months. The Court would require him to take a paternity test but his "standing" to bring suit would be good because he's had possession of the child for the requisite legal time to do so. I have no idea what state law would apply in his case but there's probably something similar. Cheapest in Texas is to go through the Attorney General's Office but don't expect it to be fast or his case being allotted a great deal of time for explanations. This may hold true for other states also. |
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 Bulls Eye
Posts: 6443
Location: Oklahoma | He needs to start with a DNA test. Prove that he is the father. Once that is done, I believe a birth certificate can be ammended. I would recommend talking to the family law facilitator at the county court house where he lives. They can help in pointing him in the right direction. I would also once paternity is established file in the courts for custody. You can google sample forms, etc. |
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Expert
Posts: 2128
| Red Raider - 2017-03-21 1:57 PM He really needs to go talk to an attorney in your area because state laws vary on this topic. I'm not sure if your state has some form of legal aid or otherwise he will probably be able to go through the child support office to possibly get things started. In Texas, he would qualify as someone who could file -- despite him not being on the birth certificate -- because he's had the child for over 6 months. The Court would require him to take a paternity test but his "standing" to bring suit would be good because he's had possession of the child for the requisite legal time to do so. I have no idea what state law would apply in his case but there's probably something similar. Cheapest in Texas is to go through the Attorney General's Office but don't expect it to be fast or his case being allotted a great deal of time for explanations. This may hold true for other states also. Thanks for the advice. He is a resident of Louisiana. I believe he is worried the state may try to take the child until they sort everything out. As long as he is providing good care is that something he should even consider?
Edited by scwebster 2017-03-21 2:04 PM
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Toastest with the Mostest
Posts: 5712
Location: That part of Texas | scwebster - 2017-03-21 2:01 PM Red Raider - 2017-03-21 1:57 PM He really needs to go talk to an attorney in your area because state laws vary on this topic. I'm not sure if your state has some form of legal aid or otherwise he will probably be able to go through the child support office to possibly get things started. In Texas, he would qualify as someone who could file -- despite him not being on the birth certificate -- because he's had the child for over 6 months. The Court would require him to take a paternity test but his "standing" to bring suit would be good because he's had possession of the child for the requisite legal time to do so. I have no idea what state law would apply in his case but there's probably something similar. Cheapest in Texas is to go through the Attorney General's Office but don't expect it to be fast or his case being allotted a great deal of time for explanations. This may hold true for other states also. Thanks for the advice. He is a resident of Louisiana. I believe he is worried the state may try to take the child until they sort everything out. As long as he is providing good care is that something he should even consider?
I can't stress enough that every state is different on how their laws are going to operate in this situation. He really needs to go talk to an attorney in your area who can give him that specific knowledge and knowledge about other matters such as paternity and whether or not he has standing right now to bring the suit under Louisiana law. Under Texas law there are ways I could get him temporary custody quickly and work on the rest. I'm sure Louisiana has similar provisions and until he visits with an attorney, he's not going to know what's in store for his particular case. |
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Expert
Posts: 2128
| Red Raider - 2017-03-21 2:19 PM scwebster - 2017-03-21 2:01 PM Red Raider - 2017-03-21 1:57 PM He really needs to go talk to an attorney in your area because state laws vary on this topic. I'm not sure if your state has some form of legal aid or otherwise he will probably be able to go through the child support office to possibly get things started. In Texas, he would qualify as someone who could file -- despite him not being on the birth certificate -- because he's had the child for over 6 months. The Court would require him to take a paternity test but his "standing" to bring suit would be good because he's had possession of the child for the requisite legal time to do so. I have no idea what state law would apply in his case but there's probably something similar. Cheapest in Texas is to go through the Attorney General's Office but don't expect it to be fast or his case being allotted a great deal of time for explanations. This may hold true for other states also. Thanks for the advice. He is a resident of Louisiana. I believe he is worried the state may try to take the child until they sort everything out. As long as he is providing good care is that something he should even consider?
Much appreciated Red Raider. |
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 Popped
Posts: 20421
Location: LuluLand~along I64 Indiana | get a dna kit at the local cvs. shove a swab down moms throat, cause you need all three and wait the two weeks to get results. once he is dna tested it shouldnt be too hard to get his name on the birth cert. Also there should be a hospital representitive you can contact that can push you in the right direction here. |
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Expert
Posts: 2128
| luluwhit - 2017-03-21 2:27 PM get a dna kit at the local cvs. shove a swab down moms throat, cause you need all three and wait the two weeks to get results. once he is dna tested it shouldnt be too hard to get his name on the birth cert. Also there should be a hospital representitive you can contact that can push you in the right direction here.
Courts will only accept certain types of DNA tests. I believe they have to be conducted in a medical setting and signed off on by staff. Def will contact some of my friends in the medical field to check on having this done. |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 1182
Location: Do I hear Banjos? | How do illegal aliens get enrolled without birth certificates and paperwork? Seems unfair that a citizen has to prove more. |
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I just read the headlines
Posts: 4483
| TrailGirl - 2017-03-21 4:07 PM
How do illegal aliens get enrolled without birth certificates and paperwork? Seems unfair that a citizen has to prove more.
They know how to do lots of things law-abiding citizens don't. My uncle had to go on dialysis some years ago. He was a ranch manager before he died, so no benefits only SS. Luckily he could speak Spanish with the best of them, so he would sit in the Dr.'s office and listen to them tell each other how to beat the system. He never let them know he could understand them. Sure enough, he learned how to navigate the Medicare/Medicaid system by just listening to them.  |
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 Tried and True
Posts: 21185
Location: Where I am happiest | Any possability he could talk the mother into putting him on the birth cetificate? She could do so all in about an hours time.Just go down to county records and ammend the birth certificate. An attorney is probably he best bet though and he could file for custody at the same time. Basically the mom has abandoned the child. She might even just sign the child over to him without a fuss if he had the paper work all drawn up. . Win win for all if she would co-operate and do whats right for the child. |
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Porta Potty Pants
Posts: 2600
| Check with your local court that handles family court. They might have self-help forms. Your brother will probably have to go to court. He might need to seek an emergency custody or guardianship order while he's pursuing paternity and custody. Every state is different. |
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Expert
Posts: 2128
| ThreeCorners - 2017-03-21 5:41 PM Any possability he could talk the mother into putting him on the birth cetificate? She could do so all in about an hours time.Just go down to county records and ammend the birth certificate. An attorney is probably he best bet though and he could file for custody at the same time. Basically the mom has abandoned the child. She might even just sign the child over to him without a fuss if he had the paper work all drawn up. . Win win for all if she would co-operate and do whats right for the child.
I am hoping that this will be a possible route to take. The mother does not have a stable home, job, or other means to support my nephew other than what assistance she recieves from the state. I think the last thing she wants is for the law to get involved. |
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Toastest with the Mostest
Posts: 5712
Location: That part of Texas | scwebster - 2017-03-22 8:47 AM ThreeCorners - 2017-03-21 5:41 PM Any possability he could talk the mother into putting him on the birth cetificate? She could do so all in about an hours time.Just go down to county records and ammend the birth certificate. An attorney is probably he best bet though and he could file for custody at the same time. Basically the mom has abandoned the child. She might even just sign the child over to him without a fuss if he had the paper work all drawn up. . Win win for all if she would co-operate and do whats right for the child. I am hoping that this will be a possible route to take. The mother does not have a stable home, job, or other means to support my nephew other than what assistance she recieves from the state. I think the last thing she wants is for the law to get involved.
So you think she's just going to hand over her only source of income with a smile and a thank you? I don't want to be crass, pessimistic or 20 other things but please . . . seriously have him see an attorney first. There's nothing from keeping her from walking into his house and taking that baby away from him today. He will be in the fight of his life after that trying to find her to get her served with any paperwork he can come up with later and wondering about that baby in the meantime. It's more likely that she is going to react badly to any threat of him acting against her than being thankful he's taking care of the child. I see it in CPS court all the time, especially with drug addict momma's screaming-crying in the courthouse hallways, "My baby! You're taking away my baby!" when we've just gone through 2-3 hours of testimony of how they have neglected, abused and abandoned those same kids for years before someone did something.
I would get an attorney-backed game plan in the works before you did anything. If that baby ends up not being his in a DNA test, he still may have grounds to be established as a "father" through the courts and end up with him because he's been the caretaker. Don't play around with that aspect before you know what the law is and what happens to that ability to bring suit if she does come to take him back. |
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 Hugs to You
Posts: 7551
Location: In The Land of Cotton | I keep seeing this and people telling you "what you should do".
Get an attorney. If the first consultation isn't free, it isn't going to be much considering the damages not having one could be.
The kid depends on the father getting all the help he can. Not some internet advice. |
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 Shelter Dog Lover
Posts: 10277
| Red Raider - 2017-03-22 9:20 AM
scwebster - 2017-03-22 8:47 AM ThreeCorners - 2017-03-21 5:41 PM Any possability he could talk the mother into putting him on the birth cetificate? She could do so all in about an hours time.Just go down to county records and ammend the birth certificate. An attorney is probably he best bet though and he could file for custody at the same time. Basically the mom has abandoned the child. She might even just sign the child over to him without a fuss if he had the paper work all drawn up. . Win win for all if she would co-operate and do whats right for the child. I am hoping that this will be a possible route to take. The mother does not have a stable home, job, or other means to support my nephew other than what assistance she recieves from the state. I think the last thing she wants is for the law to get involved.
I would get an attorney-backed game plan in the works before you did anything. If that baby ends up not being his in a DNA test, he still may have grounds to be established as a "father" through the courts and end up with him because he's been the caretaker. Don't play around with that aspect before you know what the law is and what happens to that ability to bring suit if she does come to take him back.
Ditto, my niece adopted through CPS, while fostering the little girl the bio mom would disappear for 5 months, visit a few times , then disappear again. She became pregnant with her 3rd child by a 3rd father who was also a meth addict. Despite all this, anytime she felt she might lose her parental rights she straightened up enough to please the courts-she knew not to go beyond 6 months of no contact. They finally agreed on shared custody with my niece and her husband having primary custody with visitation by the mother. The bio mom only agreed to this because CPS was finally going to pursue DNA testing on the 16 year old kid who is the father of her third baby -mom is 24. Agreeing to shared custody got CPS off the case.
Bio mom still disappears for months, visits a few times, we have a lawyer on retainer and are waiting for her to screw up enough to sever her rights. It is VERY stressful and confusing for the little girl who is now 4.
He needs to see an attorney, get his ducks in a row and be ready to fight for the child in the court system if mom will not give him custody. If he tips his hand without being ready to fight, he will have a hard time getting custody if he can't prove her unfit and some judges seem to have a hard time taking child away from the mother despite how terrible the situation is.
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Expert
Posts: 2128
| 3canstorun - 2017-03-22 10:19 AM I keep seeing this and people telling you "what you should do".
Get an attorney. If the first consultation isn't free, it isn't going to be much considering the damages not having one could be.
The kid depends on the father getting all the help he can. Not some internet advice.
Agree |
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Expert
Posts: 2128
| I def want him to see an attourney. He would have to do that to get paperwork drawn up for her to sign even if he did think she would do it without a fight. Ill make sure he gets a lawyer. Just wanted to get any information I could before doing so. |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 380
| He needs to petition the court for paternity, then custody. Most have a way for people to do that without having a lawyer. Here in Michigan people use the friend of the court with out an attorney all of the time and the cost is lower. Not sure if they have anything like that where you are. Also, there are other unofficial ways to test for paternity.
But honestly this sounds like a complicated situation and he should get a lawyer. Chances are good she won't even have the money to fight him in court so he may not have to spend that much.
Now if there is another man on the birth certificate he would absolutely need a lawyer. This would involve getting the other man to sign off and states just do not do that even with proof of paternity. Some states have recently just started allowing men to be taken off birth certificates once they were found to not be the biological father. But that is few and far between cases.
Edited by SloRide 2017-03-22 11:03 AM
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Expert
Posts: 2128
| SloRide - 2017-03-22 10:57 AM He needs to petition the court for paternity, then custody. Most have a way for people to do that without having a lawyer. Here in Michigan people use the friend of the court with out an attorney all of the time and the cost is lower. Not sure if they have anything like that where you are. Also, there are other unofficial ways to test for paternity. Now if there is another man on the birth certificate he would absolutely need a lawyer. This would involve getting the other man to sign off and states just do not do that even with proof of paternity. Some states have recently just started allowing men to be taken off birth certificates once they were found to not be the biological father. But that is few and far between cases.
Thanks for the info. There is no father named currently on the birth certificate. |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 380
| That will simplify matters.
Now the most the state will allow the mother to do is sever her rights or they may opt to sever her rights for her if she is as bad as you describe, but that is a big maybe. She probably will try to fight it because she risks being saddled with child support. If your brother puts the child on state medicaid, TANF or SNAP, the state will order her to pay child support.
Edited by SloRide 2017-03-22 11:08 AM
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Expert
Posts: 2128
| SloRide - 2017-03-22 11:07 AM That will simplify matters. Now the most the state will allow the mother to do is sever her rights or they may opt to sever her rights for her if she is as bad as you describe, but that is a big maybe. She probably will try to fight it because she risks being saddled with child support. If your brother puts the child on state medicaid, TANF or SNAP, the state will order her to pay child support.
He had said he would not request child support from her, in order to pursuade her to sign over custody. He has not been on any state or gov assistance. |
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Go Get Em!
Posts: 13503
Location: OH. IO | Just wondering how this is going???hoping it over and done with and your brother is happy? |
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 Peat and Repeat
Posts: 2773
Location: IN MY OWN LITTLE WORLD AT LEAST THEY KNOW ME HERE | Get a good attorney and start there.
Get the best he can afford in child custody cases.
The attorney knows the steps to take.
DNA tests?
Courts will decide and order!
Every judge in each district or parish is different.
A mother has to be a repeat offender w the legal system and pretty sorry before a child is take away.
Documentation/dates/times etc of every transaction and contact w her.
The more hard core proof he has on paper the better his case.
Heresay he said she said or she said this on the phone blah blah blah
Will not be admissible - its gossip
I'm happy to see a Dad stand up and wanna raise his baby :0)))
Edited by Yakima 2017-07-14 10:03 PM
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 Take a Picture
Posts: 12838
| I would contact the parish attorney first to see what is needed. Not too many guys want to be put on the birth cert. They are usually trying to deny paternity so a DNA test may not be needed. It actually might be easier to adopt than go through the birth certificate thing. I don't care if that is what your wants BUT take the path of lease resistance. Since the parish attorney is free he would know best what to do. (Or the district attorney). |
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 Expert
Posts: 1409
| Just to give you hope! My hubby has had full custody since his boys were 3 and 4 and this was decades ago. His first advice is always to be the one to file for custody first and have the children in your possession, but your situation is different with the birth certificate and not being married. Prayers for your family. Good guys can win!
Edited by TyE 2017-07-16 11:34 AM
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Go Get Em!
Posts: 13503
Location: OH. IO | Any updates? |
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 Gotta Have a Gray
Posts: 899
Location: Tex. Panhandle | I agree with everyone get an attorney. Most give a consultation for free if not free, they are not hugely expensive. When my husband adopted my oldest, it cost us less then 1500 to get the whole deal done.
Now ..... he needs to document EVERYTHING. I know it might sound silly, but he needs to go back and start when the kiddo was dropped off. When she brought him, if it was supposed to be temp or long term, what condidtion was the child in ect. He also needs to keep track of how often she makes contact; does she call, come by and so on. IF she makes physical contact, keep record of how SHE appears. Is she alone, does she has transport, is she high, is she with shaddy friends. He also needs to keep record of dr bills, medical, daycare anything that the mom should be paying for. This will show a) she is NOT invested in the child and is unwilling to help and b) he has the means and ability to care for the boy. All of that will greatly help any attorney and wil go along ways with a judge.
Best of luck and please keep us updated if possible |
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Legal advice (Custody issue)