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| Does anyone else feel like they really have no true friends? This is a new login. I know lots of people. Have hundreds of folks on FB. But I'm not real sure I'd consider anyone close. I have not received a phone call from any person other than my parents for IDK how long. I've had people call me back, but no one takes the first step.
Sort of beginning to wonder why. | |
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I just read the headlines
Posts: 4483
 
| I have 2 people I consider close friends other than family. Sometimes we don't talk for a month due to busy lives, but when we do, it's like we talked yesterday. Sometimes I call first, sometimes they do. I have noticed the more time I put in with them, the more time they put on with me. I chalk it up to busy lives. There are several ladies on here that if I lived closer too, I would probably be that annoying friend to, haha.
You have to work at friendship just like a marriage or family.
If you want to talk or need advice there are some great people on this site. | |
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 A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
 
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | NoFriends - 2017-03-28 10:37 AM Does anyone else feel like they really have no true friends? This is a new login. I know lots of people. Have hundreds of folks on FB. But I'm not real sure I'd consider anyone close. I have not received a phone call from any person other than my parents for IDK how long. I've had people call me back, but no one takes the first step.
Sort of beginning to wonder why.
I have a few select friends, I dont like sitting on a phone and I dont do FB but Hubby has one but never gos on there, I check it out to see what is happening to others sometimes but all the friend request I see I dont even know who in the heck they are they are mosely friends of a friend of a friend of another friends so to me all the friends you see on other peoples FB they dont even know 85% maybe 90% of them, lol..
I think everybody is busy with life and FB so many dont have the time to call anyone now adays but Texting is the in thing so Texting takes up alot of time too, lol.. So why are you logged under a different name whats the big Deal?!!! I have just a few true friends and that dont embarress me at all I like it that way less drama you have to deal with.  | |
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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 460
| I'm so sorry you are feeling this way...hugs for you! I feel the exact same way, I really don't have any friends that I do anything with outside of work. I keep pretty busy, so it doesn't bug me too much. But every once in a while it gets to me. The only people I do anything with is my family and boyfriend...I don't really have much advice to offer, I'm so sorry. But, as said above, with a true friend you don't need to keep close contact with. They are still with you no matter what. And if you are always having to make the effort to talk or see them, then they aren't true friends. It should be mutual. I realize that I don't have many friends because I am not a very good friend. I don't keep in touch very well, and I don't have a lot of extra time to go and do things, so I lost most of my "friends". But the real people who love and care about you will love you no matter how long. My only friend, who I have been friends with for 16 years, we would still do anything for each other. And I only see her about once a year. Hugs to you, and hope that things will turn around <3 | |
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A Somebody to Everybody
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Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | Just wanted to add here you have us to hang out with and we're all friends some not so much but mosty we are all friends, lol  | |
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A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | GLP - 2017-03-28 10:48 AM I have 2 people I consider close friends other than family. Sometimes we don't talk for a month due to busy lives, but when we do, it's like we talked yesterday. Sometimes I call first, sometimes they do. I have noticed the more time I put in with them, the more time they put on with me. I chalk it up to busy lives. There are several ladies on here that if I lived closer too, I would probably be that annoying friend to, haha. You have to work at friendship just like a marriage or family. If you want to talk or need advice there are some great people on this site.
Same here GLP I can go months maybe even a year are 2 can go by but when we see each other its like time standing still and we never miss a beat, lol..As we get older the busier we are, I thought when the kids were all grown up I would have more time on hand, nope not true, lol.. Now I'm either on a tractor, working in the yard caring for all the animals and so on, the days are so much shorter for me..  | |
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 Expert
Posts: 5293
| I have been called " Rude" for not accepting FB friend requests from people I either don't know ( Maybe we have a mutual friend and they saw I had horses and they have horses or something) or people who I know, just choose not to share events in my life with. lol I only have 30 FB friends, but they are GOOD FRIENDS. | |
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Member
Posts: 8
| I think that's just it. I DO make an effort. I call them. I'll send a text.
But it seems like I'm the only one who initiates. It's not every day either, so I don't feel like I'm hounding people by sending 99 messages and calls every hour.
Reason for new login is there is one specific person on here who would probably say they are my very close friend. That person doesn't call either! | |
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Veteran
Posts: 233
| I don't have any friends either. Then my sister died, and so now I have my husband and my mom to talk to. Mom lives 500 miles away and is giving me **** because I'm riding a western horse instead of the jumpers I grew up with. She's not even interested in how fabulous my horse is and how much I'm learning, just wanted to know if I could re-train her. ?? and I live in a rural area and have lots of horsey neighbors, but I'm just so shy and afraid they are going to judge me that I haven't reached out to any of them. So I guess it's my own fault I'm lonely, but. . . .
I guess my point is that I understand how you feel. | |
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I just read the headlines
Posts: 4483
| Southtxponygirl - 2017-03-28 11:08 AM
GLP - 2017-03-28 10:48 AM I have 2 people I consider close friends other than family. Sometimes we don't talk for a month due to busy lives, but when we do, it's like we talked yesterday. Sometimes I call first, sometimes they do. I have noticed the more time I put in with them, the more time they put on with me. I chalk it up to busy lives. There are several ladies on here that if I lived closer too, I would probably be that annoying friend to, haha. You have to work at friendship just like a marriage or family. If you want to talk or need advice there are some great people on this site.
Same here GLP I can go months maybe even a year are 2 can go by but when we see each other its like time standing still and we never miss a beat, lol..As we get older the busier we are, I thought when the kids were all grown up I would have more time on hand, nope not true, lol.. Now I'm either on a tractor, working in the yard caring for all the animals and so on, the days are so much shorter for me..
Right?! I thought time would slow back down once the kids were grown. Nope, I think it hit overdrive! | |
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I just read the headlines
Posts: 4483
| NoFriends - 2017-03-28 11:20 AM
I think that's just it. I DO make an effort. I call them. I'll send a text.
But it seems like I'm the only one who initiates. It's not every day either, so I don't feel like I'm hounding people by sending 99 messages and calls every hour.
Reason for new login is there is one specific person on here who would probably say they are my very close friend. That person doesn't call either!
Oh, I'm sorry about that. I am the wall flower type, so it is very hard for me to meet new people. The good friends I do have are very outgoing. I meet new people through them. And they are not drama mommas.
Look around you and listen to what people say and do. When you think there is someone you would like to be friends with, just start saying hello, etc. when you see them and I bet pretty soon you have a new friend. Big hugs because I've been there. | |
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I just read the headlines
Posts: 4483
| hannahbug - 2017-03-28 11:24 AM
I don't have any friends either. Then my sister died, and so now I have my husband and my mom to talk to. Mom lives 500 miles away and is giving me **** because I'm riding a western horse instead of the jumpers I grew up with. She's not even interested in how fabulous my horse is and how much I'm learning, just wanted to know if I could re-train her. ?? and I live in a rural area and have lots of horsey neighbors, but I'm just so shy and afraid they are going to judge me that I haven't reached out to any of them. So I guess it's my own fault I'm lonely, but. . . .
I guess my point is that I understand how you feel.
Use your horses to meet your neighbors. Maybe ask them who they use for vet, farrier, teeth floats. Maybe ask where they get tack, feed, Etc.
Even though you probably don't really need these things it would be an ice breaker. You know how we love to talk about our horses. Ask where they got their horse, how it's bred, what discipline they ride, stuff like that. | |
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Veteran
Posts: 291
| Where do you live "No Friends"?
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Member
Posts: 8
| GLP - 2017-03-28 11:49 AM hannahbug - 2017-03-28 11:24 AM I don't have any friends either. Then my sister died, and so now I have my husband and my mom to talk to. Mom lives 500 miles away and is giving me **** because I'm riding a western horse instead of the jumpers I grew up with. She's not even interested in how fabulous my horse is and how much I'm learning, just wanted to know if I could re-train her. ?? and I live in a rural area and have lots of horsey neighbors, but I'm just so shy and afraid they are going to judge me that I haven't reached out to any of them. So I guess it's my own fault I'm lonely, but. . . . I guess my point is that I understand how you feel. Use your horses to meet your neighbors. Maybe ask them who they use for vet, farrier, teeth floats. Maybe ask where they get tack, feed, Etc. Even though you probably don't really need these things it would be an ice breaker. You know how we love to talk about our horses. Ask where they got their horse, how it's bred, what discipline they ride, stuff like that.
I don't feel like this is about making friends. I'll talk to anyone.
It's more about having people care enough about me to make contact with me, instead of me always initiating. Maybe I'm simply too boring to spark their interest. | |
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Member
Posts: 8
| Tinker - 2017-03-28 12:07 PM Where do you live "No Friends"?
In a small town. Again, made a new name for a reason. Too many people know me. | |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 380
| This is a pretty normal thing that comes as we age. Our circle of friends gets smaller, more people are spending time working and with their children. I have found that more and more people just want you around if there is something they can get out of you so I do my best to steer clear of users and that's what a lot of people act like anymore. I told one "friend" a few years ago that if they were just going to come around once a year when they needed their computer fixed to just stop. Haven't seen them since. I only have around 45 FB friends and most of them are family or people I talk to regularly. I have 2 people on my Facebook that are what I would call friends.
Edited by SloRide 2017-03-28 12:27 PM
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 Reaching for the stars....
Posts: 12708
| I lost my mom in early Feb. She was my one true friend. I have someone in my life that I see/talk to all the time, but I've never thought of her as 'deep.' There always has to be something in it for her for her to make an effort. I also do not like talking on the phone extensively - kinda info passed on ony then done. Just not a chatty kind of person (except about horses, of course). And I don't have a smart phone so texting is a painful process for me (lol - I usually call if the text will be more than three words!)
Now that my mom is gone I feel I am completely alone. I have two or three friends from BHW that I wish I was physically closer to so I could visit in person. I know at least one has also lost her mom in very recent times. It's tough.
OP - I empathize completely with you. Sending you good thoughts and a cyber hug! | |
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 Undercover Amish Mafia Member
Posts: 9992
Location: Kansas | NoFriends - 2017-03-28 10:37 AM Does anyone else feel like they really have no true friends? This is a new login. I know lots of people. Have hundreds of folks on FB. But I'm not real sure I'd consider anyone close. I have not received a phone call from any person other than my parents for IDK how long. I've had people call me back, but no one takes the first step.
Sort of beginning to wonder why.
same here, I talk to pretty much one person on a daily basis and of course my grandparents. Kind of sucks at times | |
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A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | How old are you, married, have any children, in any horsey club, go to church? | |
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 Expert
Posts: 2135
Location: Somewhere else | First off, hugs to you. I've learned the hard way to keep your circle of close/best friends small. I have maybe 4 friends that I would trust with my life. The rest are friends, but it's the ones I see at the rodeo's, barrel races, talk to on FB. Keep your circle small and you'll be so much more happier. | |
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Member
Posts: 8
| Southtxponygirl - 2017-03-28 12:30 PM How old are you, married, have any children, in any horsey club, go to church?
Mid 30s, married, no kids, member in several saddle clubs, nbha, other barrel groups, and don't beleive in organized religion, they just want your $. I find helping people is much more rewarding when it's from the heart, not because someone wants volunteer hours met. A good person is good because they choose to be. | |
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I just read the headlines
Posts: 4483
| NoFriends - 2017-03-28 12:16 PM
GLP - 2017-03-28 11:49 AM hannahbug - 2017-03-28 11:24 AM I don't have any friends either. Then my sister died, and so now I have my husband and my mom to talk to. Mom lives 500 miles away and is giving me **** because I'm riding a western horse instead of the jumpers I grew up with. She's not even interested in how fabulous my horse is and how much I'm learning, just wanted to know if I could re-train her. ?? and I live in a rural area and have lots of horsey neighbors, but I'm just so shy and afraid they are going to judge me that I haven't reached out to any of them. So I guess it's my own fault I'm lonely, but. . . . I guess my point is that I understand how you feel. Use your horses to meet your neighbors. Maybe ask them who they use for vet, farrier, teeth floats. Maybe ask where they get tack, feed, Etc. Even though you probably don't really need these things it would be an ice breaker. You know how we love to talk about our horses. Ask where they got their horse, how it's bred, what discipline they ride, stuff like that.
It's more about having people care enough about me to make contact with me, instead of me always initiating. Maybe I'm simply too boring to spark their interest.
I am near Corpus Christi, Texas. Is that anywhere close to where you live? I know what it feels like to feel alone amongst people. I don't want you to feel that way. You can reach out to anyone of us and you can bet we will be there for you. I have an Aunt by marriage that lives a couple hundred miles away and is elderly. We text every morning. You are welcome to join us. | |
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 Good Grief!
Posts: 6343
Location: Cap'n Joan Rotgut.....alberta | Quality over quantity. ...m | |
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  Fact Checker
Posts: 16575
Location: Displaced Iowegian | I have ONE friend and a cousin that I converse with regularly. But I have many friends that I know that I could call at the drop of the hat and they would come running to help me....but I don't have regular contact with them. Some people feel the need to be more connected to friends than I do. I, also, think that, at this time of year, some people have a case of the winter blues and need the interaction of friends at horse events ! | |
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 Too Skinny
Posts: 8009
Location: LA Lower Alabama | I barely keep in good contact with family. Like others have said I know if I needed help I have a bunch who would come running but I do not feel the need to be bothered or bother others daily. I check in here and there and read through their lives on social media and will slap a comment on there sometimes. I'm not a phone talker much either but I will text all day. To each their own. Lives are full of so much that I think it is hard for people to meet up anymore. I prioritize my husband and child first and with a full time job and animals Im just plain busy. | |
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 I'm Cooler Offline
Posts: 6387
Location: Pacific Northwest | I have 3 friends, one of which is my girlfriend that I live with so does she even count? My very best friend moved to Texas, my other best friend recently had a baby and is just living a different life than I am.
For the most part it doesn't bother me. I have a lot of acquaintances, that I talk to on FB and share funny things with. I could probably hang out with 95% of those people and it wouldn't be weird, but I honestly don't want to. I'm a huge homebody. I like going to work, riding, and then sitting on the couch the rest of the night.
My two best friends and I have a group chat so we text literally all day, that helps a lot. | |
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 To the Left
Posts: 1865
Location: Florida | I have one friend that I talk to every day at least once. We do call each other. Another old friend I talk to every few weeks. Then family I see every weekend, then family I talk to or see now and then and it works down from there. And I am perfectly fine with this. I did have one friend who I would call alot, but she died years ago. And another I talked to all the time who moved and we haven't talked since. But I also still work so I have work friends I see every day or week or month.
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 Money Eating Baggage Owner
Posts: 9586
Location: Phoenix | You are not alone!!!!!
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A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | NoFriends - 2017-03-28 12:37 PM Southtxponygirl - 2017-03-28 12:30 PM How old are you, married, have any children, in any horsey club, go to church? Mid 30s, married, no kids, member in several saddle clubs, nbha, other barrel groups, and don't beleive in organized religion, they just want your $. I find helping people is much more rewarding when it's from the heart, not because someone wants volunteer hours met. A good person is good because they choose to be.
I dont go to Church, but my huddy does and his parents are pretty heavy into their church and they are the best hearted folks out there, will give you their shirts off their backs types, not all churches are the way you described organized religion, believe it or not theres some really awesome people that go to church and help others in need. I believe in the old Mighty Lord myself and we all help others when needed out of the goodness of our hearts, as you can tell your comment about organized religion rubbed me the wrong way, they all dont want just your money..
Thats good your in other clubs but why hide behind another name, why not be youself | |
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Member
Posts: 8
| Thank you everyone. I do think maybe I have a case of the winter blues. I've had a few frustrating incidents where I feel like I'm the only one who tries to uphold the friendship.
I don't like having to post as anonymous, but I don't want to make those who know me feel bad either. Don't like making people feel bad. Just tend to take it and bottle it up. So this is where I'm at!
Definitely feel the need to spend time with my horses! I DO talk to some of you online, so that helps. I feel like some of my BHW friends that I've never met talk to me more than people who live 10 miles away. So thank you for that too!  | |
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Location: Not Where I Want to Be | I'll be your friend. | |
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To the Left
Posts: 1865
Location: Florida | We are here any time you need to talk. You can find friends and family in the strangest of places. | |
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 On the Countdown
Posts: 2934
Location: Texas | My best friend lives 12 hours away. I don't have any friends here, besides the few I work with, they are work friends. I don't really have friends either. | |
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 Scooters Savior
Location: "Si Fi" Ville | I would be grateful to have some new friends! I would consider it an honor. If anyone wants my number just pm me! You and Hannabug sound like fabulous folks to be lucky to know. | |
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 Witty Enough
Posts: 2954
Location: CTX | I have only a handfull of real friends (they are family eventhough we are not related), and some I don't talk to for months at a time besides keeping tabs on them through social media. This might have to do that 2 of them are on a different continent, but when I go over to visit it is like old times.
The couple I have closer by, I talk to on the phone, by email and will meet up for lunch or something. Although there are weeks I might not speak to them. But we all know if we are needed (goes both ways), we drop everything to go help each other.
Everybody else I consider acquaintances. People I talk to at races, or work or whenever I bump into them, and if I am there and they need help and I will, but won't go out of my way for them. Nor do I expect that from them.
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 Bulls Eye
Posts: 6443
Location: Oklahoma | hoofs_in_motion - 2017-03-28 12:24 PM
NoFriends - 2017-03-28 10:37 AM Does anyone else feel like they really have no true friends? This is a new login. I know lots of people. Have hundreds of folks on FB. But I'm not real sure I'd consider anyone close. I have not received a phone call from any person other than my parents for IDK how long. I've had people call me back, but no one takes the first step.
Sort of beginning to wonder why.
same here, I talk to pretty much one person on a daily basis and of course my grandparents. Kind of sucks at times
Hmmmm... one person huh??? | |
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Bulls Eye
Posts: 6443
Location: Oklahoma | I have a few people I would consider my close friends. I've learned over the years to not care what others think. I am married, and have 2 kids. We don't have any couples friends and that is hard. | |
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 I Want a "MAN"
Posts: 3610
Location: MD | Side note I do think whenever I feel like that I look at my own self and think. Am I negative to be around? Do I talk bad about people? Do I only talk about myself? Am I nice? Am I fun and upbeat to be around? If I see anything in my own self like ugh yea gosh I wouldn't want to hang around me either if I'm mean or only want to talk about myself etc I try to turn my attitude around and tell myself. I AM nice I am funny I am cool (lol) I am kind and then try to change my attitude to fit happy thoughts. I always try to be nice to everyone compliment everyone at horse shows that kind of stuff really attracts people I think. | |
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 Experienced Mouse Trapper
Posts: 3106
Location: North Dakota | CE's wrapn3 - 2017-03-29 7:31 AM
Side note I do think whenever I feel like that I look at my own self and think. Am I negative to be around? Do I talk bad about people? Do I only talk about myself? Am I nice? Am I fun and upbeat to be around? If I see anything in my own self like ugh yea gosh I wouldn't want to hang around me either if I'm mean or only want to talk about myself etc I try to turn my attitude around and tell myself. I AM nice I am funny I am cool (lol) I am kind and then try to change my attitude to fit happy thoughts. I always try to be nice to everyone compliment everyone at horse shows that kind of stuff really attracts people I think.
This is a good post! Be the kind of friend you are looking for! With that said-I'm the type of friend that looks for reciprocation (is that a word??) of actions-if I invite you to my house-I look forward to an invite in return-if I send you a birthday wish-I look forward to the same. That is very hard for some people and I end up getting my feelings hurt. Which sucks but I get over it and move on. (most of the time there is some self deprecation involved: why am I not fun enough to want to hang out with...etc) I also have a hard time forgetting how BADLY a person/situation made me feel and won't put myself back into that spot again-which with the few friends I do have-my list is dwindling quickly. Sorry you're feeling blah hope you find a way to make things better. | |
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 Ms. Marine
Posts: 4641
Location: Texas | I have four people who I consider to be my true friends. They are my parents, my husband, and one other person whom I've been inseparable with since middle school. I don't feel the need to have a lot of "friends". I enjoy my close knit circle of people. People change and grow apart, it's just a fact of life. | |
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Too Skinny
Posts: 8009
Location: LA Lower Alabama | I have found that on average, those who need to be in constant contact have a sort of anxiety issue. They worry they are not loved or someone has moved on from them etc. Maybe try some counseling and see if there is an underlying reason you feel alone or unfriended.
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 Own It and Move On
Location: The edge of no where | Southtxponygirl - 2017-03-28 3:12 PM NoFriends - 2017-03-28 12:37 PM Southtxponygirl - 2017-03-28 12:30 PM How old are you, married, have any children, in any horsey club, go to church? Mid 30s, married, no kids, member in several saddle clubs, nbha, other barrel groups, and don't beleive in organized religion, they just want your $. I find helping people is much more rewarding when it's from the heart, not because someone wants volunteer hours met. A good person is good because they choose to be.
Thats good your in other clubs but why hide behind another name, why not be youself
Thank you - that comment really bugged me as well. The church I attend sure isn't like that at all, I know some are.....but chunking them all under the bus is really tacky. Tossing rocks at things that are important to other people doesn't come across well. | |
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 Shelter Dog Lover
Posts: 10277
| MS2011 - 2017-03-29 10:56 AM Southtxponygirl - 2017-03-28 3:12 PM NoFriends - 2017-03-28 12:37 PM Southtxponygirl - 2017-03-28 12:30 PM How old are you, married, have any children, in any horsey club, go to church? Mid 30s, married, no kids, member in several saddle clubs, nbha, other barrel groups, and don't beleive in organized religion, they just want your $. I find helping people is much more rewarding when it's from the heart, not because someone wants volunteer hours met. A good person is good because they choose to be.
Thats good your in other clubs but why hide behind another name, why not be youself
Agree, not all churches are like that. Ours has an offering plate at the back of the church but they don't say a single word about it. Volunteering is rewarding and those on the receiving end probably don't care if it is done to fulfill hours. I have seen those volunteering to fulfill hours (high schoolers) continue to volunteer their time after the hours are met, requiring hours can open a door so to speak. | |
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 Go For It!
Location: Texas | NoFriends - 2017-03-28 12:37 PM
Southtxponygirl - 2017-03-28 12:30 PM How old are you, married, have any children, in any horsey club, go to church?
Mid 30s, married, no kids, member in several saddle clubs, nbha, other barrel groups, and don't beleive in organized religion, they just want your $. I find helping people is much more rewarding when it's from the heart, not because someone wants volunteer hours met. A good person is good because they choose to be.
As I was reading your response it brought back so many memories... I remember feeling the same exact way when I was your age! I use to cry to my husband that we didn't have any friends, and people just don't want to be my friend. BUT... The closer I got to God over the years, the less I worried about what I had or didn't have. Oh what a friend I have in Jesus! Probably not the thing you're looking to hear, lol. But it's so true. Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His Righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you. What sweet Words!
Today, I have so many great friends. Friends that I could call on at any time and I know they would do whatever they could to help me. And that's the kind of friend I try to be. I've never been much of a social butterfly, but the older I get the more I realize how important it is to have girlfriends. People who have your back and want to see you succeed. There are plenty of them out there, just be patient and be the type of friend you want to be. It won't always work out for you, but in the long run, you'll work through the thistles and find those true friends who only want the best for you.
Keep your chin up, trust God, and keep moving forward sister! You've got plenty of time to find them.
Edited by grinandbareit 2017-03-29 11:31 AM
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Member
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| rodeomom3 - 2017-03-29 11:11 AM MS2011 - 2017-03-29 10:56 AM Southtxponygirl - 2017-03-28 3:12 PM NoFriends - 2017-03-28 12:37 PM Southtxponygirl - 2017-03-28 12:30 PM How old are you, married, have any children, in any horsey club, go to church? Mid 30s, married, no kids, member in several saddle clubs, nbha, other barrel groups, and don't beleive in organized religion, they just want your $. I find helping people is much more rewarding when it's from the heart, not because someone wants volunteer hours met. A good person is good because they choose to be.
Thats good your in other clubs but why hide behind another name, why not be youself
Around here, that's all you get. Catholic or Mormon or JW. There's one that has a big following, but they resemble a cult-like atmosphere where you have to follow certain rules or if you break them you are out completely. Happy church...not.
I would love to find some of the church's I've heard people talk about. Mostly I'll go to a cowboy church service at barrel races, but that's as close to organized as I want to get for my location. | |
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Fact Checker
Posts: 16575
Location: Displaced Iowegian | rodeomom3 - 2017-03-29 11:11 AM MS2011 - 2017-03-29 10:56 AM Southtxponygirl - 2017-03-28 3:12 PM NoFriends - 2017-03-28 12:37 PM Southtxponygirl - 2017-03-28 12:30 PM How old are you, married, have any children, in any horsey club, go to church? Mid 30s, married, no kids, member in several saddle clubs, nbha, other barrel groups, and don't beleive in organized religion, they just want your $. I find helping people is much more rewarding when it's from the heart, not because someone wants volunteer hours met. A good person is good because they choose to be.
Thats good your in other clubs but why hide behind another name, why not be youself
I'm sorry but that comment is tacky.....she was only expressing HER own views of churches in HER area of which she has had experience. And I know the churches in that area and I agree with her perception! I know this person and she is the sweetest, kindest young lady who would lay down her life for anyone. She only posted under another log-on because she didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings or make them feel bad because they haven't been in contact as much as usual. She just wanted to see if anyone else experienced the same thoughts and feelings. A simple case of the winter blues ! ! ! | |
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Shelter Dog Lover
Posts: 10277
| NJJ - 2017-03-29 11:44 AM
rodeomom3 - 2017-03-29 11:11 AM MS2011 - 2017-03-29 10:56 AM Southtxponygirl - 2017-03-28 3:12 PM NoFriends - 2017-03-28 12:37 PM Southtxponygirl - 2017-03-28 12:30 PM How old are you, married, have any children, in any horsey club, go to church? Mid 30s, married, no kids, member in several saddle clubs, nbha, other barrel groups, and don't beleive in organized religion, they just want your $. I find helping people is much more rewarding when it's from the heart, not because someone wants volunteer hours met. A good person is good because they choose to be.
Thats good your in other clubs but why hide behind another name, why not be youself
I think people would have understood her perspective better if she had expressed she was referring to what is available in her area instead of just saying she doesn't believe in organized religion. I understand her sentiments and others were just expressing that all churches are not like what she has experienced. | |
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 My Heart Be Happy
Posts: 9159
Location: Arkansas | NoFriends - 2017-03-28 3:25 PM
Thank you everyone. I do think maybe I have a case of the winter blues. I've had a few frustrating incidents where I feel like I'm the only one who tries to uphold the friendship.
I don't like having to post as anonymous, but I don't want to make those who know me feel bad either. Don't like making people feel bad. Just tend to take it and bottle it up. So this is where I'm at!
Definitely feel the need to spend time with my horses! I DO talk to some of you online, so that helps. I feel like some of my BHW friends that I've never met talk to me more than people who live 10 miles away. So thank you for that too!
Hugs to you, and know that you have us on here and also can pm any of us if you want or need to | |
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 That's White "Man" to You
Posts: 5515
| NoFriends - 2017-03-29 11:42 AM rodeomom3 - 2017-03-29 11:11 AM MS2011 - 2017-03-29 10:56 AM Southtxponygirl - 2017-03-28 3:12 PM NoFriends - 2017-03-28 12:37 PM Southtxponygirl - 2017-03-28 12:30 PM How old are you, married, have any children, in any horsey club, go to church? Mid 30s, married, no kids, member in several saddle clubs, nbha, other barrel groups, and don't beleive in organized religion, they just want your $. I find helping people is much more rewarding when it's from the heart, not because someone wants volunteer hours met. A good person is good because they choose to be.
Thats good your in other clubs but why hide behind another name, why not be youself
I would love to find some of the church's I've heard people talk about. Mostly I'll go to a cowboy church service at barrel races, but that's as close to organized as I want to get for my location.
I'm Mormon, I am far from a perfect person, but I do know that because of my religion I am happy. (By the way we are not a cult and we dont have plural wives.) None of the other stuff really matters that much to me. My relationship with God is what grounds me in everything I do. I pay money to the church but only because I want to, it is asked but not required. I give service because I want to, not because it is required. There are some things the church asks us not to participate in, and all those things are a base for happy families (such as gambling, drinking and drugs). I would guess that based on your interpretation of religion you are not allowing friendships to form because you are passing judgement on the religious people, under the guise that they are passing judgement on you. | |
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 Veteran
Posts: 254
Location: Kaufman, Texas | I just said this very thing this morning! No one calls me. Two friends moved away out of state. One just dropped me. I have one friend around here but only talks about her life, if I have a problem she has to get off the phone. Guess I'll just have my husband as my friend. | |
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Go Get Em!
Posts: 13503
Location: OH. IO | I can just offer you to pm me and we can at least text:) I have another young lady on here that has become like my second daughter:)sometimes we don't text but if either one of us need someone no matter the time of day or nite we are there for each other.We live very far away from each other but it truly feels like we have been in each other's lives forever:))). I can at least be your text friend! | |
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 Underestimated Underdog
Posts: 3971
Location: Minnesota | jake16 - 2017-03-30 6:34 PM
I can just offer you to pm me and we can at least text:) I have another young lady on here that has become like my second daughter:)sometimes we don't text but if either one of us need someone no matter the time of day or nite we are there for each other.We live very far away from each other but it truly feels like we have been in each other's lives forever:))). I can at least be your text friend!
Jake16 is like my mother. A mother I have never met. Mary has been in my life for the last 5 years and has been there for me in my darkest times and just there for me whenever. She's in my phone as "Mom". I don't have a lot of friends but I know the few I have are true. | |
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Red Bull Agressive
Posts: 5981
Location: North Dakota | I hear ya. Outside my family, I have one best friend who has been my bff since 3rd grade. She lives in Tennessee though and we see each other once every year or two if we're lucky. We catch up on the phone every few months. I'm close with my coworkers but don't really hang out with them outside of work. Really my fiance, my sister, and my parents are the four people I'm with the most. If we go out in a group it's with my fiance's friends. Who I get along with well. I'm "one of the guys" with them lol. | |
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 Take a Picture
Posts: 12841
| MS2011 - 2017-03-29 10:56 AM
Southtxponygirl - 2017-03-28 3:12 PM NoFriends - 2017-03-28 12:37 PM Southtxponygirl - 2017-03-28 12:30 PM How old are you, married, have any children, in any horsey club, go to church? Mid 30s, married, no kids, member in several saddle clubs, nbha, other barrel groups, and don't beleive in organized religion, they just want your $. I find helping people is much more rewarding when it's from the heart, not because someone wants volunteer hours met. A good person is good because they choose to be.
Thats good your in other clubs but why hide behind another name, why not be youself
I have to agree with MS. Down here in the Bible belt, most of us put church pretty high on the list. I really do not remember ANY church that I have ever attended telling me I HAD to give money. I usually go for the uplift that I get and if I feel like contributing, I do, if not, I don't. Strange reason for not attending church.
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Fact Checker
Posts: 16575
Location: Displaced Iowegian | Gotta love the "true" Christians making JUDGEMENTS about a person and her own "personal" opinion relating to churches in HER area....how CHRISTIAN of you ....keep throwing rocks......I am sure that every one of your posts makes her feel so much better! | |
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 I hate cooking and cleaning
Posts: 3314
Location: Jersey Girl | I don't really? have any close friends anymore. At one time I was very close to a couple of different people. One moved away and stopped communicating with me. The other one had a life style change and she was only interested in our friendship at her convenience.
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 IMA No Hair Style Gal
Posts: 2594
| I believe you only have one or two true friends in a lifetime. I don't really go out much. I am fine with that. I have my horses, my husband, my career. As you go through life people will come and go. Chin up! | |
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Expert
Posts: 1255
| I moved away from my hometown ten years ago and never made friends I'm very shy and also live pretty secluded but It don't bother me | |
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| Get used to having no friends ...
As you get older and realize your friends are passing away before you do ..
The longer you live you will decide to enjoy your life because your days
are also numbered .. with or without friends ...... lol | |
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Take a Picture
Posts: 12841
| Whiteboy - 2017-03-30 9:04 AM
NoFriends - 2017-03-29 11:42 AM rodeomom3 - 2017-03-29 11:11 AM MS2011 - 2017-03-29 10:56 AM Southtxponygirl - 2017-03-28 3:12 PM NoFriends - 2017-03-28 12:37 PM Southtxponygirl - 2017-03-28 12:30 PM How old are you, married, have any children, in any horsey club, go to church? Mid 30s, married, no kids, member in several saddle clubs, nbha, other barrel groups, and don't beleive in organized religion, they just want your $. I find helping people is much more rewarding when it's from the heart, not because someone wants volunteer hours met. A good person is good because they choose to be.
Thats good your in other clubs but why hide behind another name, why not be youself
I would love to find some of the church's I've heard people talk about. Mostly I'll go to a cowboy church service at barrel races, but that's as close to organized as I want to get for my location.
I do not know about Morman churches everywhere but when I was growing up, we had Mormon missionaries at our house all the time. They ate with us at least once a week. We loved them. I never got the impression that they were a cult. I was taught to appreciate their devotion to their religion, but I was from a religion based family, just not Mormon. My religious beliefs make me very happy also and I feel a sense of comfort from going to church. I am very sorry that others do not feel that way. The cowboy churches have really become very popular around here and perhaps one of these would be helpful. Almost everyone there has the same interests as you. | |
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 BHW New Catch of the Day
Posts: 9884
Location: Missouri | Southtxponygirl - 2017-03-28 3:12 PM NoFriends - 2017-03-28 12:37 PM Southtxponygirl - 2017-03-28 12:30 PM How old are you, married, have any children, in any horsey club, go to church? Mid 30s, married, no kids, member in several saddle clubs, nbha, other barrel groups, and don't beleive in organized religion, they just want your $. I find helping people is much more rewarding when it's from the heart, not because someone wants volunteer hours met. A good person is good because they choose to be.
Thats good your in other clubs but why hide behind another name, why not be youself
On the subject of Church and money. The church needs money to opperate. Who pays the pastor? How to the keep the electric on, the heat, the AC? Youth group activities, shuttle service for those without transportation etc, etc. Without the church members giving money, the church would fold. | |
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Take a Picture
Posts: 12841
| Tbred - 2017-04-04 12:16 PM
Southtxponygirl - 2017-03-28 3:12 PM NoFriends - 2017-03-28 12:37 PM Southtxponygirl - 2017-03-28 12:30 PM How old are you, married, have any children, in any horsey club, go to church? Mid 30s, married, no kids, member in several saddle clubs, nbha, other barrel groups, and don't beleive in organized religion, they just want your $. I find helping people is much more rewarding when it's from the heart, not because someone wants volunteer hours met. A good person is good because they choose to be.
Thats good your in other clubs but why hide behind another name, why not be youself
I thought about these, too, but seems people do not like me picking on others. Building maintenance, communion, church bulletin, even payments on a mortage. Churches are not built for free. These are the tip of the iceberg. It even says in the Bible in multiple places that you should tithe (give 10%) I seriously doubt that most people now a days tithe but most do give willingly and never have I been at a church where you were forced to give or embarrassed because you did not give. Personally, I have gotten such great rewards that I am forever grateful. Being able to recognize them is kind of helpful.
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 Expert
Posts: 3815
Location: The best kept secret in TX | I moved to Texas from Oklahoma and had I not called no one would have called.
However, A phone works both ways.
I get busy and forget about people and when I do wonder how they're doing I look them up and send a friendly text or invite them to dinner or Lunch.
I'm sure people I know do the exact same. They just get busy.
I have a friend that lives a few counties over and we make time for each other once a month. We have a "girls day". I have another friend who lives in the same county as I do and we meet every friday for lunch just to keep up.
We don't call or text every day, but we have set times in order to catch up with each other. I wouldn't trade those two Women for anything. Friendships require work. Worrying that the other friend doesn't do as much for you as you do for them (like calling) isn't very nice in my opinion. Please take no offense to my opinion.
With that being said if you continue to give and all your friends do is take then there is a time you need to cut them off. If you stop calling and they don't call what have you lost? | |
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Take a Picture
Posts: 12841
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I have a lot of friends but I have a couple who are quite unique. One is a black coach that I worked with for years and has more character than anyone I know. The other is my ex-husband's third ex-wife. Seriously.
Do I call them? No. Do they call me? No. I do know that if they ever need something for me they will call and ask and if I ever need them I can call them. | |
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I have no friends