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 Money Eating Baggage Owner
Posts: 9586
   
Location: Phoenix | So 2 months ago I moved my horse to a smaller, private residence because he would be getting more personalized care and lots of turnout. And I loved having him there. But yesterday, apparently the barn owner wanted me to come up and hang out but I didn't realize she wanted me to do that that badly and I said I was going to go home because I had to work later. So then she calls me later that night, drunk and is saying how I am disrespectful, cold, have an attitude, and have no grace. WTF? I keep to myself while I'm there, try to stay out of their way, am friendly....I don't want to be a nuisance....that's my mentality. I try not to overstay my welcome. The farrier wanted to come out in the morning to shoe my horse and she said it was too early. She could have left it at that but instead she launched into insulting me.
She's resorted to insulting me with every text she sends. I went out today to try and move my horse to a new facility I found within 4 hours of this drama and she has all my stuff locked up. So even if I wanted to ride or heaven forbid groom my horse, I couldn't. I told her I was blocking her number until Tuesday when she said I could pick up my stuff. I couldn't take the insults any longer!! I SO would have taken my horse today but I didn't want to risk not getting my belongings back. I don't think she'll hurt my horse--she loves him.
I think she wanted me to be best friends with her but I wasn't. She was mad that I didn't come out so much but before said she didn't mind because that's what she was there for (and that's what I was paying her for). Long story short--don't board with "friends."
Any tips? I am so beyond done with this. I start shaking everytime she texts me. I don't need this type of negativity in my life!!!! She's clearly unstable and very unhappy. I try to remember that. But still. The words hurt, especially since they are untrue. It'll be a long 48 hours. Please pray for me!!
Edited by hammer_time 2017-05-29 12:33 AM
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 My Heart Be Happy
Posts: 9159
Location: Arkansas | Oh my goodness, how horrible for you. This makes me sooo thankful we have our own land for our little herd. . . |
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Money Eating Baggage Owner
Posts: 9586
Location: Phoenix | Chandler's Mom - 2017-05-28 10:37 PM Oh my goodness, how horrible for you. This makes me sooo thankful we have our own land for our little herd. . .
We have no $$ to put down but I've never waned my own property more than I do right now!! This lady is NUTS. Fiancé said he wouldn't have proposed to me if I was actually like what she's describing. So that's comforting. Hah!! |
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 Expert
Posts: 1718
Location: Southeast Louisiana | Yeah, sounds like she is unstable. Without knowing the other side of the story (and not saying you've done anything wrong here) I'd say your best move is to remove this toxic person from your life. Sorry it didn't work out.
i.e.: from the limited info available, people (especially crazy ones) will fill in the voids with what they want to see. She could have taken your actions to mean more than they did. You were friendly, then stayed out of her way. That is when her own mind took over. When she realized that she implied the wrong intentions to your actions, she could have become defensive. Alcohol intensifies that effect.
(Much like dog training) you could have sent messages without realizing it. Also, without realizing the level of crazy you were dealing with.
Hope your horse is ok. Don't worry too much about her. You can't control other people's actions. It's not your fault. You trusted another person and that person turned out to not be trustworthy. Lesson learned. Moved on. |
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Money Eating Baggage Owner
Posts: 9586
Location: Phoenix | At this point, my fiancé is thinking about grabbing everything and not having me even come on the property. That may be a good idea. I have no idea how she'll be in person. She won't shut up text message wise. She's been blocked since 7 pm. |
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 Take a Picture
Posts: 12838
| Easier said than done but take a deep breath and calm down. Wait until Tuesday, take your boyfriend and get your stuff. Hopefully she will be sober by then. There is nothing worse than dealing with a drunk. Until then, keep calm and carry on. Good luck. I feel for you |
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  Fact Checker
Posts: 16572
Location: Displaced Iowegian | hammer_time - 2017-05-29 1:18 AM At this point, my fiancé is thinking about grabbing everything and not having me even come on the property. That may be a good idea. I have no idea how she'll be in person. She won't shut up text message wise. She's been blocked since 7 pm.
Do not send your fiance' out there by himself because he is NOT the owner and legally, she does not have to allow him to take anything.....take him WITH you. If you want your horse and tack before Tuesday (and, personally, I would not leave it there) have a Sheriff's deputy escort you there. She has no reason to lock it up unless you have not paid your rent for the month. |
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Expert
Posts: 1718
Location: Southeast Louisiana | hammer_time - 2017-05-29 1:18 AM
At this point, my fiancé is thinking about grabbing everything and not having me even come on the property. That may be a good idea. I have no idea how she'll be in person. She won't shut up text message wise. She's been blocked since 7 pm.
What kind of stuff is she saying in her texts? |
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 A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | What was the reason for locking your things up? |
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Go Get Em!
Posts: 13503
Location: OH. IO | IF IT WERE ME....I WOULD APPOLOGIZE FOR WHAT I DIDNT DO AND SMOOTH THINGS OVER ASAP UNTIL I GOT MY HORSE AND TACK.THEN..I WOULD HAVE NO CONTACT AT ALL.
Edited by jake16 2017-05-29 9:30 AM
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A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | NJJ - 2017-05-29 8:06 AM hammer_time - 2017-05-29 1:18 AM At this point, my fiancé is thinking about grabbing everything and not having me even come on the property. That may be a good idea. I have no idea how she'll be in person. She won't shut up text message wise. She's been blocked since 7 pm. Do not send your fiance' out there by himself because he is NOT the owner and legally, she does not have to allow him to take anything.....take him WITH you. If you want your horse and tack before Tuesday (and, personally, I would not leave it there) have a Sheriff's deputy escort you there. She has no reason to lock it up unless you have not paid your rent for the month.
All this^^^^^^^ And I would have called the Sheriff to let them know what was going on so they would have a heads up on what was going on and ask them to escort me to go pick up my tack and horse, this lady sounds really loony and not to be trusted.. |
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 Veteran
Posts: 287
| If she locked your stuff up without cause, have the police go out there with you tondo a civil standby while you remove your things. Then if she continues to.text and harass you, file a no.contact order. If she violates that, she will be thrown in jail. |
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 Mature beyond Years
Posts: 10780
Location: North of the 49th Parallel | I have a barn owner story that would beat yours lol but I agree with everyone else, have the police come out with you. She sounds cray cray! |
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 Sock eating dog owner
Posts: 4553
Location: Where the pavement ends and the West begins Utah | OMG!.,Get your stuff and horse ASP. My neighbor lived in a bottle.Never sober has no clue how to function in society.I feel for you.Bat sh$t crazy is an understatement.good luck and stay safe. Addiction is the worst. I'd change phone number. |
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Money Eating Baggage Owner
Posts: 9586
Location: Phoenix | Ok I am attaching the screenshots of the conversation. They are numbered at the top so you can go in order. Number 2 is after the 30 minutes phone call blasting my personality when she was drunk. I also apologized profusely for any misunderstandings during this call.
A couple of weeks ago the welding for the gate latch was broken. They say they saw my horse leaning on the gate and concluded that's how it broke. And maybe that's true because it's my horse and her 2 horses.
And maybe I am a snob? But I don't feel like one. I've expressed my appreciation via text messages and whenever I'm there I tell her how happy my horse is and how he seems to like it here. I've never once bad mouthed her or gotten in a verbal tiff. I've been out numerous times when she's been gone and we've missed each other. Have there been stretches of time where I didn't come out to see him? Yes! I am busy at work and that's why I pay her to take care of my horse. And she takes great care of him so I don't feel the NEED to come out as much. I even commented how I feel bad that I'm not out as much and over and over she's said how it's OK and she understands. She doesn't have an arena or roundpen so I'm stuck trail riding and often times I arrive too soon before dark and don't have enough time to get a ride in.
I think the summer sore he currently has is what started this whole thing. I had the vet out to treat that and give spring shots and apparently she hates female vets and doesn't trust vets period and think they charge too much and yadda yadda yadda. SHE offered to clean his wound when I wasn't able to make it out there. And then the shoer wanted to come early in the morning to avoid the heat and then I didn't come up to the house for the party that was apparently happening and then the phone call. The last half of the screenshot is from her husband and he is at least being reasonable.
I've NEVER been treated like this. And my feelings are hurt. I know stick and stones may break my phones but words will never hurt me.....but they sting a little. I have so much uneasiness in my stomach. :(
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Veteran
Posts: 264
| Been in this exact situation a year ago. Get your horse out of there fast. The owner I dealt with was threatening not only myself but my animals. Horse ended up with stab wound. Went to court for restraining order and nothing was done because there was no photographs/video proof. Even with text messages showing the threats.
I would ask for police escort so she doesn't say you are trespassing and really do something dangerous. Explain the situation to the police and they will go over there with you. Do not send your significant other by themselves. |
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 Famous for Not Complaining
Posts: 8848
Location: Broxton, Ga | NJJ - 2017-05-28 9:06 AM
hammer_time - 2017-05-29 1:18 AM At this point, my fiancé is thinking about grabbing everything and not having me even come on the property. That may be a good idea. I have no idea how she'll be in person. She won't shut up text message wise. She's been blocked since 7 pm.
Do not send your fiance' out there by himself because he is NOT the owner and legally, she does not have to allow him to take anything.....take him WITH you. If you want your horse and tack before Tuesday (and, personally, I would not leave it there) have a Sheriff's deputy escort you there. She has no reason to lock it up unless you have not paid your rent for the month.
^^^^^ I would go get my horse.........today........ |
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 Not Afraid to Work
Posts: 4717
| I would also go get my horse today. The fact that she mentioned him getting hurt... doesn't sit well with me. I am sure she is implying that in case of normal situation/circumstances but I don't like that one bit. I would let her know the sheriff's dept will be coming with you Tuesday and getting your belongings.
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 889
Location: on the fine line between insanity and geniusness | I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this. I agree with everyone above, GO GET YOUR HORSE. take a sheriffs officer with you, she can't hold your stuff hostage. |
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 Thread Killer
Posts: 7543
| I would get law enforcement involved, if possible, and get the heck out of there IMMEDIATELY. |
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A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | I would not wait any longer go get your horse today with a Sheriff office in toll.. And get your tack tomorrow with a Sheriff Officer.. I would not beable to sleep untill I had my horse.. |
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Expert
Posts: 1718
Location: Southeast Louisiana | She cray-cray!
Looks like she expected you to react in a very specific way. When you didn't meet her expectations, she went off the deep end. Wow. What a nut job! |
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Thread Killer
Posts: 7543
| Southtxponygirl - 2017-05-29 3:13 PM
I would not wait any longer go get your horse today with a Sheriff office in toll.. And get your tack tomorrow with a Sheriff Officer.. I would not beable to sleep untill I had my horse..
To be honest, I was thinking that maybe there really had been a misunderstanding until the comment about him getting hurt. The locking up of belongings is a red flag too. Manipulation for sure, and a possible covert threat to the horse.
Hammertime, If she were really fed up with your behavior, she'd be glad to get rid of you. But, she doesn't actually want you to leave. For whatever reason, she's zeroed in on you as her next victim. I think she just wants someone to control. You're obviously not playing her game, so now your horse and things are being held hostage. She'll continue to move goalposts ("Noooo, it's too early...Noooooo we won't be there....noooooooo fix my gate!") to delay this. She wants to either A) Have you grovelling at her feet for forgiveness or B) Drag you into a nice little fight to "prove" that you're horrible. You've done great at not playing - keep at it.
Again, law enforcement. Again, get your horse ASAP.
Edited by Just Plain Lucky 2017-05-29 2:37 PM
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A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | Just Plain Lucky - 2017-05-29 2:34 PM Southtxponygirl - 2017-05-29 3:13 PM I would not wait any longer go get your horse today with a Sheriff office in toll.. And get your tack tomorrow with a Sheriff Officer.. I would not beable to sleep untill I had my horse.. To be honest, I was thinking that maybe there really had been a misunderstanding until the comment about him getting hurt. The locking up of belongings is a red flag too. Manipulation for sure, and a possible covert threat to the horse. Hammertime, If she were really fed up with your behavior, she'd be glad to get rid of you. But, she doesn't actually want you to leave. For whatever reason, she's zeroed in on you as her next victim. I think she just wants someone to control. You're obviously not playing her game, so now your horse and things are being held hostage. She'll continue to move goalposts ("Noooo, it's too early...Noooooo we won't be there....noooooooo fix my gate!" ) to delay this. She wants to either A ) Have you grovelling at her feet for forgiveness or B ) Drag you into a nice little fight to "prove" that you're horrible. You've done great at not playing - keep at it. Again, law enforcement. Again, get your horse ASAP.
Edited by Southtxponygirl 2017-05-29 2:58 PM
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 Hog Tie My Mojo
Posts: 4847
Location: Opelousas, LA | Maybe it's just me, but even her nice texts creeped me out! She is a tried and true bunny boiler from what I have seen, I would get law enforcement and get your horse and stuff yesterday. |
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Money Eating Baggage Owner
Posts: 9586
Location: Phoenix | I was ready to take him yesterday and ride him off the property to the new facility but with my belongings locked up I wasn't sure if I'd get them back. Taking MY horse (that she loves so dearly) would have only ****ed her off and made things worse. I really, REALLY appreciate the advice. I'm trying very hard to be civil and take the high road. Law enforcement crossed my mind at one point but it was more of me thinking an officer wouldn't come out because I'm essentially just being bullied. Not releasing my property definitely warrants an officer. I'll keep you all updated for sure. I'd like to deal with the husband as he seems to have his head screwed in all the way. Do I pay the $100 for the fence? I feel like I should just so I can have a clean break. |
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A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | Just wanted to add, she sounds like a big Bully thats use to geting her way, and now your not playing her game so shes going to get you back some way some how and its dont matter how she does it, so be very careful. |
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A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | hammer_time - 2017-05-29 3:02 PM I was ready to take him yesterday and ride him off the property to the new facility but with my belongings locked up I wasn't sure if I'd get them back. Taking MY horse (that she loves so dearly) would have only ****ed her off and made things worse. I really, REALLY appreciate the advice. I'm trying very hard to be civil and take the high road. Law enforcement crossed my mind at one point but it was more of me thinking an officer wouldn't come out because I'm essentially just being bullied. Not releasing my property definitely warrants an officer. I'll keep you all updated for sure. I'd like to deal with the husband as he seems to have his head screwed in all the way. Do I pay the $100 for the fence? I feel like I should just so I can have a clean break.
Just give them the 100.00 and get your horse.. I would do that right now..When it comes to my horses being in someones else evil hands I dont screw around.. |
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 Shelter Dog Lover
Posts: 10277
| Southtxponygirl - 2017-05-29 3:06 PM hammer_time - 2017-05-29 3:02 PM I was ready to take him yesterday and ride him off the property to the new facility but with my belongings locked up I wasn't sure if I'd get them back. Taking MY horse (that she loves so dearly) would have only ****ed her off and made things worse. I really, REALLY appreciate the advice. I'm trying very hard to be civil and take the high road. Law enforcement crossed my mind at one point but it was more of me thinking an officer wouldn't come out because I'm essentially just being bullied. Not releasing my property definitely warrants an officer. I'll keep you all updated for sure. I'd like to deal with the husband as he seems to have his head screwed in all the way. Do I pay the $100 for the fence? I feel like I should just so I can have a clean break. Just give them the 100.00 and get your horse.. I would do that right now..When it comes to my horses being in someones else evil hands I dont screw around..
Edited by rodeomom3 2017-05-29 3:27 PM
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Thread Killer
Posts: 7543
| rodeomom3 - 2017-05-29 4:19 PM
Southtxponygirl - 2017-05-29 3:06 PM hammer_time - 2017-05-29 3:02 PM I was ready to take him yesterday and ride him off the property to the new facility but with my belongings locked up I wasn't sure if I'd get them back. Taking MY horse (that she loves so dearly) would have only ****ed her off and made things worse. I really, REALLY appreciate the advice. I'm trying very hard to be civil and take the high road. Law enforcement crossed my mind at one point but it was more of me thinking an officer wouldn't come out because I'm essentially just being bullied. Not releasing my property definitely warrants an officer. I'll keep you all updated for sure. I'd like to deal with the husband as he seems to have his head screwed in all the way. Do I pay the $100 for the fence? I feel like I should just so I can have a clean break. Just give them the 100.00 and get your horse.. I would do that right now..When it comes to my horses being in someones else evil hands I dont screw around.. Yes, if you damaged their property, you need to pay for it. Her bad behavior does not excuse bad behavior on your end. I would make amends, leave on a good note as you never know when this could come back and haunt you. Itis not a matter of you being right but handling the situation in a way that does not cause you problems down the road. I don't think she was threatening your horse referring to him maybe getting hurt, Just reacting to you saying you were blocking her. I agree with Jake, play nice , get your stuff and horse then be done with them.
I agree - pay the $100 whether there is proof your horse caused the damage or not.
It's probably too late for saving face, but you wouldn't have won that battle anyway. Paying the $100 will keep your conscience clear but won't stop her from badmouthing you in the future. She seems like the type, anyway. |
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Money Eating Baggage Owner
Posts: 9586
Location: Phoenix | I will pay her as it is the right thing to do. I've got the direct phone line for a civil standby in the event I should need it. I will try and do it without them but I have a number on hand in case I need to call them out and if that happens I will just take my horse and come back for the rest of my stuff at another time. I may have to bill her for the stomach ulcer this is causing me; OMG this is terrible. We'll have to see tomorrow when I unblock her if she continues the harassment. If she does I will block her again and go thru her husband. Please send good vibes that this goes as smooth as possible. |
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I am your favorite rash and you know it
Location: Being pushed over the edge, NM | You shouldn't have blocked her. Just ignore her insanity, those text messages will back you up to law enforcement and in court if something happens, they would show she's unhinged. Been there, done that, put a restraining order on the drunk *****, twice. |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 380
| I board and have never had my stuff locked up. If I get my own tack trunk and lock it that's one thing but we always have access to our belongings. If she really wanted you gone she would have packed your stuff and left it where you could get vs locking it up. This woman sounds crazy confrontational.
Stick with a business and make sure you get a contract and receipt for everything you pay for at the next place. My current barn owner was not prepared for me asking for receipts for paying for board but I think itshe just a good practice. |
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 Warmblood with Wings
Posts: 27846
Location: Florida.. | just my 3 cents... sounds like she found out you were leaving and is being immature about it...
the tack room was locked to prevent thieves when they arent there but she should let you go when they were home.. period.... it could be they want to make sure you pay for gate before heading out Id not think to much about it or worry.. the INJURED is because you were going to block her.. how would she get in touch with you if your horse got sick or injured .I assume its a private barn ... I think to much is being read into it but i dont know her.. they just seem a bit upset at you and My guess is you will go get your horse and stuff and that will be that.....the texts were childish but I dont see anything threatening or scarey ..... but leave a check for gate.. |
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 Expert
Posts: 1612
Location: Cocoa, Florida | Seems like someone has a hard time separating business from personal feelings. If you're paying for full board it shouldn't matter how many days you come out, you're paying for that convenience.
As far as locking your stuff up, absolutely NOT okay! You don't owe money (except what they think you owe from the gate - but as a boarding facility the boarders should not be responsible for fixing fences, maintaining the barn etc, unless previously stated in a contract). But in the case of them slandering your name, I personally would give them the $100. And run as far away as you can!
I agree with calling local law enforcement, they have no rights to locking your personal belongings up! I wouldn't have waited until today, I would have marched my butt right up there and demanded my stuff, but that's me!
Please keep us updated and I hope you find a more relaxed place to keep your horse and enjoy him |
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 Expert
Posts: 3815
Location: The best kept secret in TX | RnRJack - 2017-05-30 6:09 AM Seems like someone has a hard time separating business from personal feelings. If you're paying for full board it shouldn't matter how many days you come out, you're paying for that convenience. As far as locking your stuff up, absolutely NOT okay! You don't owe money (except what they think you owe from the gate - but as a boarding facility the boarders should not be responsible for fixing fences, maintaining the barn etc, unless previously stated in a contract). But in the case of them slandering your name, I personally would give them the $100. And run as far away as you can! I agree with calling local law enforcement, they have no rights to locking your personal belongings up! I wouldn't have waited until today, I would have marched my butt right up there and demanded my stuff, but that's me! Please keep us updated and I hope you find a more relaxed place to keep your horse and enjoy him
This. New barn owners don't understand this. Some private barn owners don't understand this.
In order to cover my hind end and avoid further misunderstandings I would take a sheriff with me. What if they say you stole property after you leave? What if they say you vandalized the place after you leave? Who;s workd would an officer most likely believe?
Take an officer or sheriff depending on the location. Seriously. Take a peace officer. It's the smartest thing you will ever do.  |
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Location: Not Where I Want to Be | Bibliafarm - 2017-05-29 11:28 PM just my 3 cents... sounds like she found out you were leaving and is being immature about it...
the tack room was locked to prevent thieves when they arent there but she should let you go when they were home.. period.... it could be they want to make sure you pay for gate before heading out Id not think to much about it or worry.. the INJURED is because you were going to block her.. how would she get in touch with you if your horse got sick or injured .I assume its a private barn ... I think to much is being read into it but i dont know her.. they just seem a bit upset at you and My guess is you will go get your horse and stuff and that will be that.....the texts were childish but I dont see anything threatening or scarey ..... but leave a check for gate..
Bingo
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 Serious Snap Trapper
Posts: 4275
Location: In The Snow, AZ | 1DSoon - 2017-05-30 7:40 AM
Bibliafarm - 2017-05-29 11:28 PM just my 3 cents... sounds like she found out you were leaving and is being immature about it...
the tack room was locked to prevent thieves when they arent there but she should let you go when they were home.. period.... it could be they want to make sure you pay for gate before heading out Id not think to much about it or worry.. the INJURED is because you were going to block her.. how would she get in touch with you if your horse got sick or injured .I assume its a private barn ... I think to much is being read into it but i dont know her.. they just seem a bit upset at you and My guess is you will go get your horse and stuff and that will be that.....the texts were childish but I dont see anything threatening or scarey ..... but leave a check for gate..
Bingo
I kind of agree here too... she does seem a little off. But her texts clearly say they love Hammer and want the best for him. Her blows at your character are her having a pity party and trying to upset you. Which is working and I'd be upset to. Just get your stuff and horse today, pay for the gate and wash your hands of it. |
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Fact Checker
Posts: 16572
Location: Displaced Iowegian | Any updates? Do you need bail money ????? LOL |
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 Born not Made
Posts: 2931
Location: North Dakota | Oh my gosh.  Crazy! I would have called the sheriff, drove their immediately and got my stuff, handed them a $100 check (paper trail) for the stupid gate, and got the heck out of there.
I'm like you -- I board my horses privately and I try to keep to myself and pretty much make myself invisible. It is their home and they are allowing me to keep my horse there. I'm friendly and will chat and such, but I want to be as respectful and appreciative as possible. .... I suppose some cray-cray people would take that as being stuck up??
Any news?
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Money Eating Baggage Owner
Posts: 9586
Location: Phoenix | ****UPDATE PART 1****
Ok, I unblocked her today to touch base. She seems to have taken her meds today.
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Money Eating Baggage Owner
Posts: 9586
Location: Phoenix | ****UPDATE PART 2***
In light of her behavior change (& the fact she would not be present while I was there) I decided against then civil escort. Her husband was there. He allowed me to look in the tack room to confirm all of my stuff was accounted for which was nice. I was a tiny bit cold but more quiet than anything. I thanked him and rode off into the sunset!!
It was a 15 minute ride to the new place and he settled right in. I forgot to take a picture but I think he'll be well cared for here as well.
Since she apologized and came around the nasty weight in my stomach has lifted and for THAT I am grateful!!!!
Thank you to ALL of you that helped me through this!!! I seriously appreciate it. :) :) |
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My Heart Be Happy
Posts: 9159
Location: Arkansas | I'm sure you are so happy to have this behind you! And also glad that your boy seems to have settled in at his new place
Good luck at the new barn. |
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Expert
Posts: 1314
Location: North Central Iowa Land of white frozen grass | Stress does some strange things to people sometimes. In someways I think your relationship with this woman was more like a mother daughter relationship. She was trying to mother you and was mad at how you were not appreciative of what she was all doing for you. I would occasionally keep in touch with her. You never know what might happen in the future |
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Take a Picture
Posts: 12838
| Always better not to burn bridges. You never know when you will have to have the woman do something for you. Never say never. |
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