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| I'm sure someone has delt with supportive husband/boyfriend and or family. How'd you deal with it?
In my case, my parents hate the horses, didn't so much used to but I assume they thought I'd grow out of it. I pay for all my own stuff, which btw is HARD when you wanna take care of them the right way. They are ruining horses for me, because hearing them complain just is starting to not be worth it! I'm so overwhelmed.
My good horse that I just bought a yr ago is hurt, and all I hear is you ruined him, he's crippled, he sucks, he's never won you any money, sell him, you never have money, you waste all your money.
My parents are very well off, very capable of helping me out. Any time I ever need something which isn't often, if ever (example my truck transmission went out it's my only vehicle, I asked to BORROW the money so I can have something to drive and was told 'no sell your horses and pay for it') the response is 'sell those worthless horses'
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  Ms. Marine
Posts: 4641
 
Location: Texas | I'm basically a professional at removing negative people from my life. Looks like you've got some hard decisions to make, or learn to not give a rats rear end what people think. | |
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| BarrelRacing4Christ - 2017-06-04 9:55 PM
I'm basically a professional at removing negative people from my life. Looks like you've got some hard decisions to make, or learn to not give a rats rear end what people think.
I could use some pointers apparently, I normally just let it roll off my back but tonight I was so upset over it I cried and cried and I pray and pray but what can I do? They are my parents.
I finished my first semester of college they paid for, I was very appreciative, time to reenroll and I was told tonight 'sell your horses and pay for yourself to go' | |
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Go Get Em!
Posts: 13503
 
Location: OH. IO | Do you live with your parents?do you work?do you make enough to support yourself?how old are you? | |
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| jake16 - 2017-06-04 10:05 PM
Do you live with your parents?do you work?do you make enough to support yourself?how old are you?
Yes I live in our apartment, I'm 21, I have a full time job making enough to support myself and my 3 horses very well. But when things pop up like my transmission blowing up $2800 rebuild I don't have the money on hand. I don't ask for favors, I don't need hand outs but it would be nice if when I needed help I could count on my parents.
Without a truck I have no way to work, no way to barn etc.
OH AND HERES A KICKER! my mom currently keeps her horse (trail horse pasture ornament) here that I take care FOR HER with no help from her at all, says she doesn't need too, even though when she boarded it she paid $500 a month.
We moved January from a house with pastures to no house with pasture so luckily my boyfriend parents were nice enough to let me build a barn and keep my horses in their pastures. | |
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 Take a Picture
Posts: 12842
| Will try to keep this short. Grew up on a ranch. My brother always had the best show calves. I rode our ranch horses. I did well with what I had. Won a trip to the first state 4-H horse show in Texas. If it had not been for the other kid that also went, I would not have gotten to go. Married a man that knew nothing about horses and he would not let me ride. (Very controlling). He died in 2002 and my horses were very old. He even gave away my horse trailer. Had to buy new horses. My neighbor keeps telling me I am too old to ride. I am old but at a clinic at Joseys Pam told me to distance myself from negative people. Good advice. (Kind of hard when they are your parents). My trainer is the only person who has ever encouraged me. I rode at the Josey Reunion and may not have been the oldest person there but close. I was proud of my runs there. I have been riding since I was 3. I will not quit til I am in the nursing home. All I can say is that your victories are much more meaningful if you have to overcome adversity. I do have one suggestion. Find a boyfriend who wants you to be the very best you can be. I was sitting next to a very young couple. The guy knew nothing about horses but he was at least trying. He videoed her runs. He had taken her hunting and let her shoot the big buck they saw because he wanted her to be successful. There is some guy out there who will support you. Go find him. If you don't have a job, find one and then don't worry about whether others support you. Good luck. Didn't meant this to be so long. You create your own destiny. | |
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| streakysox - 2017-06-04 10:20 PM
Will try to keep this short. Grew up on a ranch. My brother always had the best show calves. I rode our ranch horses. I did well with what I had. Won a trip to the first state 4-H horse show in Texas. If it had not been for the other kid that also went, I would not have gotten to go. Married a man that knew nothing about horses and he would not let me ride. (Very controlling). He died in 2002 and my horses were very old. He even gave away my horse trailer. Had to buy new horses. My neighbor keeps telling me I am too old to ride. I am old but at a clinic at Joseys Pam told me to distance myself from negative people. Good advice. (Kind of hard when they are your parents). My trainer is the only person who has ever encouraged me. I rode at the Josey Reunion and may not have been the oldest person there but close. I was proud of my runs there. I have been riding since I was 3. I will not quit til I am in the nursing home. All I can say is that your victories are much more meaningful if you have to overcome adversity. I do have one suggestion. Find a boyfriend who wants you to be the very best you can be. I was sitting next to a very young couple. The guy knew nothing about horses but he was at least trying. He videoed her runs. He had taken her hunting and let her shoot the big buck they saw because he wanted her to be successful. There is some guy out there who will support you. Go find him. If you don't have a job, find one and then don't worry about whether others support you. Good luck. Didn't meant this to be so long. You create your own destiny.
Thankfully, I have a great boyfriend who isn't a horse person but he supports me 110% I honestly think if it wasn't for him I'd have a mental break down! He helps me when he can, i am very thankful for him. | |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 509
| I have dealt with this my whole life just stick with the ultimate goal keep your dreams to yourself if it's a burden financially keep one good horse.im fifty now my parents don't say negative things anymore they go along with it.i have really struggled all my life to show and ride. My husband doesn't even ask how I did at a show when I come home! I didn't show for five years my horses that were good got to much age one filly died one crippled up and one was a junker my mom never noticed I wasn't showing lol I just set my goals and keep it to myself! | |
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 Fact Checker
Posts: 16575
Location: Displaced Iowegian | Barrelhorsehelp1 - 2017-06-04 10:14 PM jake16 - 2017-06-04 10:05 PM Do you live with your parents?do you work?do you make enough to support yourself?how old are you? Yes I live in our apartment, I'm 21, I have a full time job making enough to support myself and my 3 horses very well. But when things pop up like my transmission blowing up $2800 rebuild I don't have the money on hand. I don't ask for favors, I don't need hand outs but it would be nice if when I needed help I could count on my parents. Without a truck I have no way to work, no way to barn etc. OH AND HERES A KICKER! my mom currently keeps her horse (trail horse pasture ornament ) here that I take care FOR HER with no help from her at all, says she doesn't need too, even though when she boarded it she paid $500 a month. We moved January from a house with pastures to no house with pasture so luckily my boyfriend parents were nice enough to let me build a barn and keep my horses in their pastures.
When you say "our" apartment, do you mean WITH your parents or your own ??? If you live on your own, I know that they are your parents, but the first thing I would do is give my mother written notice to either move her horse or start paying for it's care. Of course, if you live with your parents that scenario will not work. Then, if you have a full time job, etc, apply for a loan to get your truck fixed. There are times that you do have to make HARD decisions....do you REALLY need three horses? | |
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 Money Eating Baggage Owner
Posts: 9586
Location: Phoenix | NJJ - 2017-06-05 6:36 AM
Barrelhorsehelp1 - 2017-06-04 10:14 PM jake16 - 2017-06-04 10:05 PM Do you live with your parents?do you work?do you make enough to support yourself?how old are you? Yes I live in our apartment, I'm 21, I have a full time job making enough to support myself and my 3 horses very well. But when things pop up like my transmission blowing up $2800 rebuild I don't have the money on hand. I don't ask for favors, I don't need hand outs but it would be nice if when I needed help I could count on my parents. Without a truck I have no way to work, no way to barn etc. OH AND HERES A KICKER! my mom currently keeps her horse (trail horse pasture ornament ) here that I take care FOR HER with no help from her at all, says she doesn't need too, even though when she boarded it she paid $500 a month. We moved January from a house with pastures to no house with pasture so luckily my boyfriend parents were nice enough to let me build a barn and keep my horses in their pastures.
Agree with NJJ here.....3 horses is quite a handful when you are trying to get through school. When I was in college and working full time I would get done with school, come home and ride/practice at home and then run off to work. My mom frequently cooled out my horse for me and took care of him afterwards so I could get to work on time and I am SO grateful she was there for me.
You may need to reorganize your priorities, especially if you depend on your parents for housing. You may need to sit down with them and determine how college is getting paid for. Everyone needs to know who is accountable for what. Lay out the options and get everything on the table. Hopefully that will clear up any tension and give you a clear mind on how to proceed going forward (selling g a horse? Cutting parents out of your life?) | |
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 BHW Resident Surgeon
Posts: 25352
Location: Bastrop, Texas | Obviously you and your folks prioritize differently, when it comes to horses. In my opinion, those differences shouldn't drive a wedge between you and them. You sound very young. To me, they sound realistic.
Owning horses obviously is an expensive hobby/passion. Unexpected expenses will always pop up randomly, sometimes involving horses.
If you are going to own horses, you need to be prepared for things like a $5K bill for colic surgery at the drop of a hat. Your folks see your owning not one, but 3 horses that drain your finances every month, and those horses don't earn you anything, so I can identify with their sentiments, even though you find the comments hurtful. You say that your parents are very well off. There's a reason for that, and maybe this is one way for them to show you how to get ahead, just like they did. Whether they can afford to loan you money for unanticipated expenses is none of your business. I don't look at their lack of willingness to loan you money for unanticipated expenses as not being " supportive". In this case, " supportive" is a warm and fuzzy way of saying "enabling", because it sounds that their unwillingness to loan you that $2800 is their way of getting a message across to you. If you are a self-reliant adult, determined to own horses, then I think you need to be able to be truly self-reliant. Just because you work, pay the rent, and pay for your own food, gas, insurance, utilities, doesn't necessarily mean you are independent and supporting yourself.
You asked for advice on how to deal with an "unsupportive" boyfriend and family. Here's my advice: figure out a way to make some extra money. Sell one or two horses. Take on a second job, maybe for 10-20 more hours a week. Put that money away so you can deal with the unanticipated expenses, whether it's your pickup or the horse(s). It won't take long to build up a nice emergency fund, and maybe at some point you can go back to working only at your regular job.
After all of that, the real benefit to you will be the awesome feeling you get from hard work, saving, and real independence. Trust me.....that can be very contagious.
Edited by Bear 2017-06-05 9:42 AM
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 Expert
Posts: 2097
Location: Deep South | Your family is "unsupportive" because they won't give you money?? My god, and we wonder why they call us the entitled generation....
I sold every horse I owned to pay for college. And my parents COULD afford it. They didn't OWE me that. They should have to forego vacations and things they want to do/buy so that I can keep barrel racing/rodeoing while attending college? No, if anyone should be making a sacrifice at this point in my life, it's me. It is a privilege to attend college, not a right.
And when I sold those horses, I bought a dink prospect, finally got him going decent and was able to start going to barrel races again. Needed money for a house down payment, guess what was put up for sale first?
I think your parents are trying to give you a dose of reality. Horses are a luxury item. A vehicle you drive daily is a necessity. Priorities.
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| It's the apartment on the property. I don't live in the house with them but yes I live under one of there roofs, for free.
1 horse isn't mine, I have a 2 yr old that is getting sent off end of this month for 30 days then coming home and being sold, then I have my open horse. The funds to care for my two and even my moms isn't the problem, the problem is I can't stand to go home or have any kinds of problems and try to vent to my parents or ask for help and I'm told 'sell the worthless horses' | |
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 That's White "Man" to You
Posts: 5515
| In my opinion you are being a little unrealistic. I've had to sell horses I really didn't want to sell to pay for unexpected expenses. Its part of being an adult. Your parents don't owe you anything. Sometimes in life, we temporarily live like we have to so later on we can live like we want to. | |
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 A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | BamaCanChaser - 2017-06-05 10:25 AM Your family is "unsupportive" because they won't give you money?? My god, and we wonder why they call us the entitled generation.... I sold every horse I owned to pay for college. And my parents COULD afford it. They didn't OWE me that. They should have to forego vacations and things they want to do/buy so that I can keep barrel racing/rodeoing while attending college? No, if anyone should be making a sacrifice at this point in my life, it's me. It is a privilege to attend college, not a right. And when I sold those horses, I bought a dink prospect, finally got him going decent and was able to start going to barrel races again. Needed money for a house down payment, guess what was put up for sale first? I think your parents are trying to give you a dose of reality. Horses are a luxury item. A vehicle you drive daily is a necessity. Priorities.
You young lady have a very good head on your shoulders, your parents did very good.. You have your priorities in order and your parents must be very very proud of you.. | |
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BHW Resident Surgeon
Posts: 25352
Location: Bastrop, Texas | Barrelhorsehelp1 - 2017-06-05 10:30 AM
It's the apartment on the property. I don't live in the house with them but yes I live under one of there roofs, for free.
1 horse isn't mine, I have a 2 yr old that is getting sent off end of this month for 30 days then coming home and being sold, then I have my open horse. The funds to care for my two and even my moms isn't the problem, the problem is I can't stand to go home or have any kinds of problems and try to vent to my parents or ask for help and I'm told 'sell the worthless horses'
Ok, so you are still living off them. They are trying to teach you a lesson. They are literally paying your rent.
Adulting is hard. | |
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 Expert
Posts: 5293
| The way I read it, its NOT the OP is asking for money or handouts,its the fact that the parents are being NEGATIVE when it comes to horses by calling them worthless and other things. I am not against a parent teaching someone a lesson, but you don't have to be an A$$-H doing it!!! You can advise someone that horses may not be a good financial choice WITHOUT making it a personal insult. | |
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BHW Resident Surgeon
Posts: 25352
Location: Bastrop, Texas | FLITASTIC - 2017-06-05 11:03 AM
The way I read it, its NOT the OP is asking for money or handouts,its the fact that the parents are being NEGATIVE when it comes to horses by calling them worthless and other things. I am not against a parent teaching someone a lesson, but you don't have to be an A$$-H doing it!!! You can advise someone that horses may not be a good financial choice WITHOUT making it a personal insult.
I'm sure we've all experienced parents being ass hats (from our perspective) from time to time. Even great parents are sometimes perceived that way.
Actually, she is already getting money and handouts, and she's miffed that they made comments about the horses when she wanted help with the $2800 bill. | |
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| FLITASTIC - 2017-06-05 11:03 AM
The way I read it, its NOT the OP is asking for money or handouts,its the fact that the parents are being NEGATIVE when it comes to horses by calling them worthless and other things. I am not against a parent teaching someone a lesson, but you don't have to be an A$$-H doing it!!! You can advise someone that horses may not be a good financial choice WITHOUT making it a personal insult.
THANK YOU!!! This is my entire point!
My boyfriend pays rent for the apartment, granted it's not $800 but we still have the responsibility of paying!
I'm sorry if I'm not willing to sell my 40k horse, when I KNOW I will NEVER be able to afford and have paid off a horse of that price and caliber. I'm not trying to sound bratty but I've dreamed of having this barrel horse my entire life! Why would I give that up to go to college for a year to be a vet tech and still scrub by, and wish of having the open horse I have now??
I only have one other horse to sell, which I already planned on selling to make some money but I'm sorry if it's selfish of me to want to keep my once in a life time horse.
I do everything else on my own I don't see why I can't have ONE thing for me?? Just one!! That's all I ask! | |
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| FLITASTIC - 2017-06-05 10:03 AM
The way I read it, its NOT the OP is asking for money or handouts,its the fact that the parents are being NEGATIVE when it comes to horses by calling them worthless and other things. I am not against a parent teaching someone a lesson, but you don't have to be an A$$-H doing it!!! You can advise someone that horses may not be a good financial choice WITHOUT making it a personal insult.
I agree with you! No matter what they feel they should not approach it with those types of comments which can be very hurtful. | |
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 Shelter Dog Lover
Posts: 10277
| Whiteboy - 2017-06-05 10:38 AM In my opinion you are being a little unrealistic. I've had to sell horses I really didn't want to sell to pay for unexpected expenses. Its part of being an adult. Your parents don't owe you anything. Sometimes in life, we temporarily live like we have to so later on we can live like we want to. Agree, and minimal rent and free board for your horses are definitely high expenses that you currently don't have to cover so not sure you are really supporting yourself. That said, kudos to you for working full time. All of our kids were required to work thru college. When one daughter quit to go follow her boyfriend across the country, she left her cell phone and car keys on the table, she knew we would not support her. There are strings attached, our money, our rules. Just a little perspective from a parents point of view. They are definitely not "unsupportive" parents if they bought you a 40K horse. My question is at what age do you expect your parents to quit bring financially responsible for you?? If I understand your posts, you are not in school. I suggest getting another part time job to cover the unexpected. The unexpected is part of life and until you have enough savings to cover those, you really aren't making it.
Edited by rodeomom3 2017-06-05 12:21 PM
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A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | Barrelhorsehelp1 - 2017-06-05 10:30 AM It's the apartment on the property. I don't live in the house with them but yes I live under one of there roofs, for free. 1 horse isn't mine, I have a 2 yr old that is getting sent off end of this month for 30 days then coming home and being sold, then I have my open horse. The funds to care for my two and even my moms isn't the problem, the problem is I can't stand to go home or have any kinds of problems and try to vent to my parents or ask for help and I'm told 'sell the worthless horses'
I would love to hear their (the parents) point of view here, I cant picture them being the way their sounding here, you live free in a apartment on their property, you have a 40,000 dollar horse, its not fair to be calling her parents a_holes when we really dont know the story here, theres always two sides and they must have a reason they dont support having more then 2 horses.. | |
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 Born not Made
Posts: 2937
Location: North Dakota | Barrelhorsehelp1 - 2017-06-04 9:48 PM I'm sure someone has delt with supportive husband/boyfriend and or family. How'd you deal with it? In my case, my parents hate the horses, didn't so much used to but I assume they thought I'd grow out of it. I pay for all my own stuff, which btw is HARD when you wanna take care of them the right way. They are ruining horses for me, because hearing them complain just is starting to not be worth it! I'm so overwhelmed. My good horse that I just bought a yr ago is hurt, and all I hear is you ruined him, he's crippled, he sucks, he's never won you any money, sell him, you never have money, you waste all your money. My parents are very well off, very capable of helping me out. Any time I ever need something which isn't often, if ever (example my truck transmission went out it's my only vehicle, I asked to BORROW the money so I can have something to drive and was told 'no sell your horses and pay for it') the response is 'sell those worthless horses'
It was not right of them to call your horses "worthless" if they did indeed do that (and not right of them to say you crippled/ruined your other horse, etc), but I wouldn't call them unsupportive if they give you a roof over your head for free and paid for your first semester of college. That sounds extremely supportive.
And they CAN say "no" to borrowing you money if they want to. You might not like to hear that (neither would I) but they are not obligated to borrow you money.
I suppose they see you spending money on your horses and figure you can spend money on your own college expenses and other expenses. No, they don't have to be negative about the fact they clearly don't like your horses .... but on the same token, put on your big girl pants and stand up for yourself. Don't let yourself be a doormat. Speak up when they say something nasty -- do not stoop to their level and say anything nasty (take the high road), but don't just brush it off. You stated you've just "let it roll" in the past, so the comments continue.
There will always be unexpected expenses that pop up, which is why it is important to always have some money in savings. If you don't have enough money to put into savings ....... well, that's puts you into a scary position.
No one is telling you that you have to sell your horse, but you'll have to find other means to pay for your hobbies if you want to keep said horse. Adulting is hard. Horses ARE a luxury item, no matter how you slice it. And even harder while you are trying to go to college, work, and have the horses. It can be done but it is not easy.
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A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | rodeomom3 - 2017-06-05 11:48 AM Whiteboy - 2017-06-05 10:38 AM In my opinion you are being a little unrealistic. I've had to sell horses I really didn't want to sell to pay for unexpected expenses. Its part of being an adult. Your parents don't owe you anything. Sometimes in life, we temporarily live like we have to so later on we can live like we want to. Agree, and free rent and free board for your horses are definitely high expenses that you currently don't have to cover so not sure you are really supporting yourself. That said, kudos to you for working full time. All of our kids were required to work through their college. When one daughter quit to go follow her boyfriend across the country, she left her cell phone and car keys on the table, she knew we would not support her. Just a little perspective Friday m a parents point of view.
Hugs Rodeomom its hard being a parent at times , all we want is whats best for out children  We as parents need to draw the line sometimes.. And believe me its not easy telling your child no.. We want what is best for them to grow into a responsible adult, and sometimes no has to be in a parents vocabulary and that hurt us too. And I dont think we are being A_holes we just want what is best for them. But of course the kids see it as being mean to them and non supportive.. But this is just part of being a good parent.. | |
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 Gotta Have a Gray
Posts: 899
Location: Tex. Panhandle | Gonna try to put this in perspective.I have a VERY supportive husband and family. My own parents are kinda wishy washy simply bc they dont have alot of experience but they are always supportive. I have had to sell sev amazing prospects over the last 6+ yrs bc things "came up". It's life, it happens. These were things completely beyond our control unfortunately. Now while I will honestly say I was NOT happy about having to sell any of these horses, it was what needed to be done for us and I had to put my big girl panties on and "deal with it". Life def doesnt always give us the cards we want, but we have to make the best of the hand and deal with it regardless.
Looking from the outside and being a parent, I think yours are trying to put things in perspective and possible teach you some responsibility. | |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 899
Location: Idaho | I know exactly how you feel. I am the only person that rides horses in my family. I started riding horses when I was 5 years old, only because I begged and pleaded my parents to let me ride. My parents were pretty well off financially, horses were my love and my passion. Yes, they supported me. However I remember the days when my dad was asked to hold a horse and he would just sit there with a scowl on his face.
I got my first horse when I was 11. She ended up passing away 3 months later because I was young and ignorant, had no one to teach me any better, and she coliced due to my not knowing any better and putting her away hot and wet in the middle of winter. Unfortunately I didn't have anyone there to tell or teach me any different.
So I learned very quickly, the hard way. I started reading and doing my research. Got my another mare at 13. She did not colic and I had her for 8 years before she passed away. I started focusing on slow work and foundation. My parents would always yell at me, telling me that the horses weren't worth my time, because they weren't winning they were going to sell them, that I should do something else with my life. At 15 when I got my license, my dads threw the keys at me and told me I was on my own. Not a lot of people understand that. It hurt at times going to shows, seeing other people's parents supporting them, giving them high fives, even just SHOWING UP to watch them run. My folks wouldn't do that no matter how much I asked.
I've been on my own since I was 19 years old. Its still a struggle. My father won't even let a saddle hang out in his house even if it's for a few days. I am beyond grateful I have had a supportive group of friends, because I wouldn't have made it this far without them. But it still hurts, because you want your parents approval. I also had 3 horses when I was in undergrad, but because I was single at the time, I worked, went home, ate dinner, rode my horses and did my homework and went ahead and did it again the next day. I rarely ever ask for money, and if I do it better not be for my horses! I am not allowed to ask for horse stuff from my dad for my birthday or Christmas (and yes, they still get me gifts), my mother has improved on this and is now more emotionally supportive.
But I totally get your struggle and it's really hard to let it go. I have accepted that that is the way that it is, and I now do have a supportive man in my life and he supports and is accepting of my riding habit, but I still pay for everything myself. We even are moving to another state next month, I have the opportunity to go to school and NOT work. But hey, I can't do that to my man. I still have my horses to pay for, those are not his responsibility. They are mine, and if there is ever a day I cannot afford them, I will not be asking someone else to pay for them either.
ETA: I will also say, now that I read the rest of these posts. Yes, adulting is hard. Yes, your boyfriend pays for the rent. What would happen if your boyfriend suddenly is not paying the rent? I have had to sell some nice horses because I got in a bind, it is a part of growing up. Things happen. You mention that you don't want to drop everything to go to school for a year.. well, then maybe pick a different profession and degree that will make you more money? Plus you're young right now, when I was your age I dropped out of college to go be a professional horse trainer. Made it all the way to the big top working for a World Champion, riding multi million dollar horses, and a ton of benefits to boot. But after seeing what they put their horses through to get those nice pretty paychecks, by the age of 25 I decided that it wasn't for me anymore, that I wanted to do something else. Went back home and spent 4 years of my life getting a Bachelor's degree, now I am working on my Masters so I can earn those big paychecks to support my habit. So you may feel this way now, you may be struggling with your decision, but I think with a little more time and age, you will learn from your experiences and your priorities may change.
Edited by DashNDustem 2017-06-05 4:17 PM
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Location: Not Where I Want to Be | Barrelhorsehelp1 - 2017-06-05 12:33 PM FLITASTIC - 2017-06-05 11:03 AM The way I read it, its NOT the OP is asking for money or handouts,its the fact that the parents are being NEGATIVE when it comes to horses by calling them worthless and other things. I am not against a parent teaching someone a lesson, but you don't have to be an A$$-H doing it!!! You can advise someone that horses may not be a good financial choice WITHOUT making it a personal insult. THANK YOU!!! This is my entire point! My boyfriend pays rent for the apartment, granted it's not $800 but we still have the responsibility of paying! I'm sorry if I'm not willing to sell my 40k horse, when I KNOW I will NEVER be able to afford and have paid off a horse of that price and caliber. I'm not trying to sound bratty but I've dreamed of having this barrel horse my entire life! Why would I give that up to go to college for a year to be a vet tech and still scrub by, and wish of having the open horse I have now?? I only have one other horse to sell, which I already planned on selling to make some money but I'm sorry if it's selfish of me to want to keep my once in a life time horse. I do everything else on my own I don't see why I can't have ONE thing for me?? Just one!! That's all I ask!
That part confuses me.
And like someone said earlier, Adulting is hard. If you want to be growd up, act growd up.
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Fact Checker
Posts: 16575
Location: Displaced Iowegian | Southtxponygirl - 2017-06-05 11:50 AM Barrelhorsehelp1 - 2017-06-05 10:30 AM It's the apartment on the property. I don't live in the house with them but yes I live under one of there roofs, for free. 1 horse isn't mine, I have a 2 yr old that is getting sent off end of this month for 30 days then coming home and being sold, then I have my open horse. The funds to care for my two and even my moms isn't the problem, the problem is I can't stand to go home or have any kinds of problems and try to vent to my parents or ask for help and I'm told 'sell the worthless horses' I would love to hear their (the parents) point of view here, I cant picture them being the way their sounding here, you live free in a apartment on their property, you have a 40,000 dollar horse, its not fair to be calling her parents a_holes when we really dont know the story here, theres always two sides and they must have a reason they dont support having more then 2 horses..
^^^^ THIS ..... who paid for that 40K horse? IF you don't pay the full rent on that apartment then I say they ARE being supportive of you! I don't mean to be harsh but I think they have probably supported as long as they want and are trying to get you to "man up" and take responsibility for your life including college. We ALL have had to sacrifice our "dreams" through the years. Some day, you have to realize that this is the REAL world. Calling your horses worthless is a little snarky and overboard but is this the same horse that was a 1D but now only runs 2D?
Edited by NJJ 2017-06-05 2:44 PM
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 509
| Where there is a will there is a way,I've always made it work I wouldn't sell the horse either! May never get a good one | |
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Shelter Dog Lover
Posts: 10277
| Did you work and buy the 40k horse or your parents? If you did, good for you for working hard, saving and making that happen. Unfortunately, owning horses is a constant drain on the finances and if you can't afford that you may have bit off more than you can chew.t You stated you don't want to go to school, Ok, quit, get a second job and quit looking to your parents to bail you out. Let go of them calling the horses "worthless", definitely unkind but substitute the word luxury for worthless. Horses are a luxury, a very expensive one.
Edited by rodeomom3 2017-06-05 12:53 PM
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| Southtxponygirl - 2017-06-05 11:50 AM
Barrelhorsehelp1 - 2017-06-05 10:30 AM It's the apartment on the property. I don't live in the house with them but yes I live under one of there roofs, for free. 1 horse isn't mine, I have a 2 yr old that is getting sent off end of this month for 30 days then coming home and being sold, then I have my open horse. The funds to care for my two and even my moms isn't the problem, the problem is I can't stand to go home or have any kinds of problems and try to vent to my parents or ask for help and I'm told 'sell the worthless horses'
I would love to hear their (the parents) point of view here, I cant picture them being the way their sounding here, you live free in a apartment on their property, you have a 40,000 dollar horse, its not fair to be calling her parents a_holes when we really dont know the story here, theres always two sides and they must have a reason they dont support having more then 2 horses..
Yes they bought the horse, I was more than thankful for it!! I still am. But just because they paid for him doesn't mean I deserve to hear crap about it every single day. If they didn't want me to have horses they shouldn't have bought me one in the first place.
I make good grades, I don't drink I don't smoke, I don't party, I'm not pregnant. I literally do nothing besides ride my horse(s)
I don't ask them to buy feed, I don't ask them to put gas in my truck I don't ask them for vet bill money, I don't ask for new tires.
my boyfriend or I pays for everything, we pay $200 rent for the apartment, I pay my board for my horses and HER horse which I don't complain to my mom about feeding because we only pay 200 in rent.
I PAY FOR EVERYTHING ELSE!!!! How is that not spamming on my own two feet??? God forbid I ACTUALLY need some help. Everything else includes, insurance, horses, clothes, food, phone, everything.
My parents don't like horses because they say all horse people are trash, it's not a way to make a living and it's expensive to make no money back. It's a hobby and as they say "your brothers have grown out of their hobbies it's time for you to sell your horses"
They think the entire horse Industry is all crooks, they haven't been to a rodeo or show in YEARS. Don't care to hear how i did, don't wanna hear if something went wrong. There's no money in it and it's pointless.
Even when I was 15-16 they HATED when I'd ask for horse stuff for birthdays or Christmas. It's just the way they have always been | |
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 Neat Freak
Posts: 11216
Location: Wonderful Wyoming | Barrelhorsehelp1 - 2017-06-04 9:14 PM jake16 - 2017-06-04 10:05 PM Do you live with your parents?do you work?do you make enough to support yourself?how old are you? Yes I live in our apartment, I'm 21, I have a full time job making enough to support myself and my 3 horses very well. But when things pop up like my transmission blowing up $2800 rebuild I don't have the money on hand. I don't ask for favors, I don't need hand outs but it would be nice if when I needed help I could count on my parents. Without a truck I have no way to work, no way to barn etc. OH AND HERES A KICKER! my mom currently keeps her horse (trail horse pasture ornament ) here that I take care FOR HER with no help from her at all, says she doesn't need too, even though when she boarded it she paid $500 a month. We moved January from a house with pastures to no house with pasture so luckily my boyfriend parents were nice enough to let me build a barn and keep my horses in their pastures.
Get a loan. That's what I would have to do. Once I moved out, I took on 100% of the finacial responsibility of myself and my animals. $hit happens but my dad raised me to stand on my own two feet. Need money? Sell something, get a 2nd job, ride a bike until the money is saved for the tranny. I was raised on tough love and am better off for it...and I am raising my 2 boys the same. Over 70 yrs ago men were fighting in a foreign country in conditions that would make today's 18yr olds die in, some had never been off the family farm. They were TOUGH and could handle any adversity thrown at them. Be TOUGH and don't be upset with your parents for not giving you any more handouts. You will be proud when you accomplish it on your own. | |
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Yes they bought the horse, I was more than thankful for it!! I still am. But just because they paid for him doesn't mean I deserve to hear crap about it every single day. If they didn't want me to have horses they shouldn't have bought me one in the first place.
I make good grades, I don't drink I don't smoke, I don't party, I'm not pregnant. I literally do nothing besides ride my horse(s)
I don't ask them to buy feed, I don't ask them to put gas in my truck I don't ask them for vet bill money, I don't ask for new tires.
my boyfriend or I pays for everything, we pay $200 rent for the apartment, I pay my board for my horses and HER horse which I don't complain to my mom about feeding because we only pay 200 in rent.
I PAY FOR EVERYTHING ELSE!!!! How is that not spamming on my own two feet??? God forbid I ACTUALLY need some help. Everything else includes, insurance, horses, clothes, food, phone, everything.
My parents don't like horses because they say all horse people are trash, it's not a way to make a living and it's expensive to make no money back. It's a hobby and as they say "your brothers have grown out of their hobbies it's time for you to sell your horses"
They think the entire horse Industry is all crooks, they haven't been to a rodeo or show in YEARS. Don't care to hear how i did, don't wanna hear if something went wrong. There's no money in it and it's pointless.
Even when I was 15-16 they HATED when I'd ask for horse stuff for birthdays or Christmas. It's just the way they have always been
its not that I can't afford my horses I get by fine, but it's the fact they are ruining jorses
for me in general it's not worth hearing them say the things they do! I'd much rather them not say anything and not go to the races instead of complain and go out of their way to say the horses are using all my money and that's why I can't 'buy a new transmission' or whatever other reason
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Shelter Dog Lover
Posts: 10277
| Barrelhorsehelp1 - 2017-06-05 12:54 PM Southtxponygirl - 2017-06-05 11:50 AM Barrelhorsehelp1 - 2017-06-05 10:30 AM It's the apartment on the property. I don't live in the house with them but yes I live under one of there roofs, for free. 1 horse isn't mine, I have a 2 yr old that is getting sent off end of this month for 30 days then coming home and being sold, then I have my open horse. The funds to care for my two and even my moms isn't the problem, the problem is I can't stand to go home or have any kinds of problems and try to vent to my parents or ask for help and I'm told 'sell the worthless horses' I would love to hear their (the parents) point of view here, I cant picture them being the way their sounding here, you live free in a apartment on their property, you have a 40,000 dollar horse, its not fair to be calling her parents a_holes when we really dont know the story here, theres always two sides and they must have a reason they dont support having more then 2 horses.. Yes they bought the horse, I was more than thankful for it!! I still am. But just because they paid for him doesn't mean I deserve to hear crap about it every single day. If they didn't want me to have horses they shouldn't have bought me one in the first place. I make good grades, I don't drink I don't smoke, I don't party, I'm not pregnant. I literally do nothing besides ride my horse (s ) I don't ask them to buy feed, I don't ask them to put gas in my truck I don't ask them for vet bill money, I don't ask for new tires. my boyfriend or I pays for everything, we pay $200 rent for the apartment, I pay my board for my horses and HER horse which I don't complain to my mom about feeding because we only pay 200 in rent. I PAY FOR EVERYTHING ELSE!!!! How is that not spamming on my own two feet??? God forbid I ACTUALLY need some help. Everything else includes, insurance, horses, clothes, food, phone, everything. My parents don't like horses because they say all horse people are trash, it's not a way to make a living and it's expensive to make no money back. It's a hobby and as they say "your brothers have grown out of their hobbies it's time for you to sell your horses" They think the entire horse Industry is all crooks, they haven't been to a rodeo or show in YEARS. Don't care to hear how i did, don't wanna hear if something went wrong. There's no money in it and it's pointless. Even when I was 15-16 they HATED when I'd ask for horse stuff for birthdays or Christmas. It's just the way they have always been
Well then, they have made their point of view quite clear. They won't give you "crap" about it if you don't give them the opportunity. You are far better off than many on this site who will never have the opportunity to own a 40K finished horse. Horses are a luxury, a want, not a need, they are not wanting to continue to fund it, you are going to have to do it on your own. Get a second job. | |
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A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | Well for parents to spend 40,000 on a horse for their daughter to run on sounds like pretty supported parents at one time, what changed their minds? Sounds like they just bought this horse for you a year ago. | |
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Fact Checker
Posts: 16575
Location: Displaced Iowegian | rodeomom3 - 2017-06-05 1:01 PM Barrelhorsehelp1 - 2017-06-05 12:54 PM Southtxponygirl - 2017-06-05 11:50 AM Barrelhorsehelp1 - 2017-06-05 10:30 AM It's the apartment on the property. I don't live in the house with them but yes I live under one of there roofs, for free. 1 horse isn't mine, I have a 2 yr old that is getting sent off end of this month for 30 days then coming home and being sold, then I have my open horse. The funds to care for my two and even my moms isn't the problem, the problem is I can't stand to go home or have any kinds of problems and try to vent to my parents or ask for help and I'm told 'sell the worthless horses' I would love to hear their (the parents) point of view here, I cant picture them being the way their sounding here, you live free in a apartment on their property, you have a 40,000 dollar horse, its not fair to be calling her parents a_holes when we really dont know the story here, theres always two sides and they must have a reason they dont support having more then 2 horses.. Yes they bought the horse, I was more than thankful for it!! I still am. But just because they paid for him doesn't mean I deserve to hear crap about it every single day. If they didn't want me to have horses they shouldn't have bought me one in the first place. I make good grades, I don't drink I don't smoke, I don't party, I'm not pregnant. I literally do nothing besides ride my horse (s ) I don't ask them to buy feed, I don't ask them to put gas in my truck I don't ask them for vet bill money, I don't ask for new tires. my boyfriend or I pays for everything, we pay $200 rent for the apartment, I pay my board for my horses and HER horse which I don't complain to my mom about feeding because we only pay 200 in rent. I PAY FOR EVERYTHING ELSE!!!! How is that not spamming on my own two feet??? God forbid I ACTUALLY need some help. Everything else includes, insurance, horses, clothes, food, phone, everything. My parents don't like horses because they say all horse people are trash, it's not a way to make a living and it's expensive to make no money back. It's a hobby and as they say "your brothers have grown out of their hobbies it's time for you to sell your horses" They think the entire horse Industry is all crooks, they haven't been to a rodeo or show in YEARS. Don't care to hear how i did, don't wanna hear if something went wrong. There's no money in it and it's pointless. Even when I was 15-16 they HATED when I'd ask for horse stuff for birthdays or Christmas. It's just the way they have always been
^^^^ THIS ..... I don't think you are going to get the sympathy that you are seeking. I would bet that almost EVERY person on this forum has worked their butt off to get where they are today and didn't have parents to buy them a 40K horse..... simple solution....MOVE! and don't ASK for anything from them. If my parents had shelled out 40K for a horse for me, there would have been no way on God's green earth that I would have EVER even asked them to pay for my college or pay for anything for me! | |
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| Sorry. I may be the odd man out here but aren't we there to help our kids out when we can?
I'm a mom of 3. My oldest is 21. She went for 2 years and graduated with an associates in accounting, works full time, rents of home of her own, drives a new to her car and .....she has a horse..... GASP! 
I'm very proud of her for being the person she is. She is trying and if she is being responsible and needs some help from time to time I am there for her. No, I will not let her sell her horse. We all go through tough times and lord knows my parents have helped me out enough, and it's my job to help mine when they need it.
To the OP, please try to understand your parents view a little. I do agree with some of the others in that if they bought you that expensive of a horse they can not be completely against what you are doing. Maybe you can sit and have a good heart to heart with them and find out if there is some reason why they feel they need to take a stand at this time. | |
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| Years and years and of nagging and begging! They never wanted the buy the horse but I guess they just got tired of hearing it. All I heard was this will be the last time, the last time! And now all I hear is, why'd I do that? That was the stupidest thing I could have done'
My mom is pregnant with another girl I have 5 brothers, I'm the only girl until now and I'm not kidding when we went to find out the sex the first thing out of munch dads mouth when the doctor said it was a girl was "and I'll make sure this one hates horses"
Exact. Words.
This isn't about the money spent or anything like that. It's about me wanting parents who support me even if I suck or my horses suck. It makes me so unbelievably happy, adult or not. If they don't support it the least they can do is keep it to themselves. I know horses are expensive they don't have to tell me everyday | |
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 Undercover Amish Mafia Member
Posts: 9992
Location: Kansas | If you're sick of hearing your parents complain, move. I'm a few years older than you and I pay for absolutely everything myself, along with my daughter and my horses. Personally, if I were you I would go ask the bank for a loan, get a second job, or sell that 40K horse you seem to rub in everyone's face lol. | |
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| hoofs_in_motion - 2017-06-05 1:27 PM
If you're sick of hearing your parents complain, move. I'm a few years older than you and I pay for absolutely everything myself, along with my daughter and my horses. Personally, if I were you I would go ask the bank for a loan, get a second job, or sell that 40K horse you seem to rub in everyone's face lol.
I'd love to know how I'm rubbing my horse in everyone's face?? Lmao. I busted my ASS through high school for this horse, I made ALL A's. I worked a job and did everything that was asked of me with 110% effort to have this horse. I'm sorry, actually I'm not, but your wrong.
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Undercover Amish Mafia Member
Posts: 9992
Location: Kansas | Barrelhorsehelp1 - 2017-06-05 1:31 PM
hoofs_in_motion - 2017-06-05 1:27 PM
If you're sick of hearing your parents complain, move. I'm a few years older than you and I pay for absolutely everything myself, along with my daughter and my horses. Personally, if I were you I would go ask the bank for a loan, get a second job, or sell that 40K horse you seem to rub in everyone's face lol.
I'd love to know how I'm rubbing my horse in everyone's face?? Lmao. I busted my ASS through high school for this horse, I made ALL A's. I worked a job and did everything that was asked of me with 110% effort to have this horse. I'm sorry, actually I'm not, but your wrong.
I seem to have hit the butthurt ****y side lmao | |
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| Far from 'Butt-hurt' but assuming will make an ass out of both of us. | |
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Fact Checker
Posts: 16575
Location: Displaced Iowegian | Barrelhorsehelp1 - 2017-06-05 1:38 PM Far from 'Butt-hurt' but assuming will make an ass out of both of us.
^^^^ uncalled for ........ | |
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 Serious Snap Trapper
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 Witty Enough
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 Good Grief!
Posts: 6343
Location: Cap'n Joan Rotgut.....alberta | I think your best course of action is to find your own place and keep your horses if you can...that way nobody can tell you what to do....i have been very lucky to have a supportive mom..she hauled me to every rodeo and still loves to come and watch. ....m | |
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Ms. Marine
Posts: 4641
Location: Texas | Barrelhorsehelp1 - 2017-06-05 11:31 AM
hoofs_in_motion - 2017-06-05 1:27 PM
If you're sick of hearing your parents complain, move. I'm a few years older than you and I pay for absolutely everything myself, along with my daughter and my horses. Personally, if I were you I would go ask the bank for a loan, get a second job, or sell that 40K horse you seem to rub in everyone's face lol.
I'd love to know how I'm rubbing my horse in everyone's face?? Lmao. I busted my ASS through high school for this horse, I made ALL A's. I worked a job and did everything that was asked of me with 110% effort to have this horse. I'm sorry, actually I'm not, but your wrong.
If you consider making good grades in high school and having a job busting your rear... wait until real life hits you. The more I'm reading through this post I'm seeing years and years of experienced advice being given to you yet you're just not having it. You're coming across like a spoiled brat who's seeking attention. We can't change your parents for you, so what are you expecting, exactly?
Edited by BarrelRacing4Christ 2017-06-05 2:43 PM
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A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | BarrelRacing4Christ - 2017-06-05 2:41 PM Barrelhorsehelp1 - 2017-06-05 11:31 AM hoofs_in_motion - 2017-06-05 1:27 PM If you're sick of hearing your parents complain, move. I'm a few years older than you and I pay for absolutely everything myself, along with my daughter and my horses. Personally, if I were you I would go ask the bank for a loan, get a second job, or sell that 40K horse you seem to rub in everyone's face lol. I'd love to know how I'm rubbing my horse in everyone's face?? Lmao. I busted my ASS through high school for this horse, I made ALL A's. I worked a job and did everything that was asked of me with 110% effort to have this horse. I'm sorry, actually I'm not, but your wrong. If you consider making good grades in high school and having a job busting your rear... wait until real life hits you. The more I'm reading through this post I'm seeing years and years of experienced advice being given to you yet you're just not having it. You're coming across like a spoiled brat who's seeking attention. We can't change your parents for you, so what are you expecting, exactly?
BINGO  | |
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Hungarian Midget Woman
Location: Midwest | When I was 21, I inherited some money. I bought a house and paid for my own living expenses and my horse, mortgage, and remodeled that house.
My parents have helped me when I needed it. They did buy me a horse when I was 18, but he was not finished. And he was certainly not 40k. They would come to one show a year, but they paid for my horses for years. While I would have liked to have that family cheering squad there for me, and I was envious of those that did, I was appreciative of what they did to support me financially (and still am grateful for those years).
It seems to me that they are trying to show you some tough love. You do need to learn to stand on your own two feet. Finish college, take out loans, and sell that 40k horse and pick up a prospect. Use the difference in money to get yourself back on track. Your boyfriend is paying your rent and boarding your horses right now (it sounds like, it's a bit unclear as some of the posts are confusing to me). You really are not self sufficient if you think about it.
I know you probably feel that your your relationship with your boyfriend is secure. I was married once and I thought my marriage was too, until I found out that it wasn't. Always be able to support yourself. Sometimes that means making sacrifices.
I dont agree with the disparaging comments about your horses. Honestly without tact is cruelty. But perhaps they are frustrated. If you were my daughter, I would be concerned that you could not survive financially on your own without the help of your boyfriend. Maybe they are going about it the wrong way, but it seems to me they are trying to get you on the right financial path and show you that sometimes things need to take priority over our hobbies. | |
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BHW Resident Surgeon
Posts: 25352
Location: Bastrop, Texas | I'd be willing to bet that, on balance, your parents care an awful lot about you and are pretty good folks. Like most parents who love their kids and want the best for them (including expensive horses), they make mistakes and sometimes say hurtful things. Those of us who like to think we are good parents all too often look back and we all have regrets, whether it's something we said to our kids, or whether it was an error in judgement. On balance, it sounds like they must have done a few things right. You don't drink, smoke, run around, etc.... You are an A student.......good for them, and, more importantly, even better for you. Obviously, they haven't been perfect. A lot of parents who are conscientious about their child's upbringing would not be happy with their daughter living with her boyfriend out of wedlock. I only bring this up because I'm wondering if that doesn't enter in to this picture. Do they frown upon your shacking up? Is your boyfriend unsupportive? In what way?
You asked for opinions on dealing with an "unsupportive" significant other or family. You should have anticipated a lot of honest opinions, and sometimes those opinions aren't what you were looking for. Hopefully, for your sake, you will benefit from this thread. | |
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 A Barrel Of Monkeys
Posts: 12972
Location: Texas | Bear - 2017-06-05 3:53 PM I'd be willing to bet that, on balance, your parents care an awful lot about you and are pretty good folks. Like most parents who love their kids and want the best for them (including expensive horses), they make mistakes and sometimes say hurtful things. Those of us who like to think we are good parents all too often look back and we all have regrets, whether it's something we said to our kids, or whether it was an error in judgement. On balance, it sounds like they must have done a few things right. You don't drink, smoke, run around, etc.... You are an A student.......good for them, and, more importantly, even better for you. Obviously, they haven't been perfect. A lot of parents who are conscientious about their child's upbringing would not be happy with their daughter living with her boyfriend out of wedlock. I only bring this up because I'm wondering if that doesn't enter in to this picture. Do they frown upon your shacking up? Is your boyfriend unsupportive? In what way? You asked for opinions on dealing with an "unsupportive" significant other or family. You should have anticipated a lot of honest opinions, and sometimes those opinions aren't what you were looking for. Hopefully, for your sake, you will benefit from this thread.
Yes, from this mom - boyfriend would not be living w/ my daughter on my property.
We all have to make choices. I sold my horses when I was 21. I was married, in school and had a baby on the way. I didn't have another horse for 7 years and I sure didn't compete much. I didn't have the time or the money.
You really don't know your parents' financial status right now. Maybe they're not as well off as you think.
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Take a Picture
Posts: 12842
| I was an honor student in high school. Paid my way through college, was on the rodeo team. When I got my first job. I bought my own horse, a two year old for $1500. I have bought everything I own that has wheels. My old 1D horse was off the track, paid $3000 for him. Trained him myself. (Have trained all of my horses until recently. Got old and lazy). At the Josey reunion this year, I am sure I had the two cheapest horses there, which I bought as babies. One was 750, the other was 850. I want taking a chance, I knew what I was getting. My young horse ended up 11th out of 428 runners. The horse that I rode is a world champion.
You live in an apartment on your parent's property and your boyfriend's parents built you a barn and let you keep your horses there. Sounds to me like you have way more support than I ever got. I appreciate what I have because I worked for it.
Be an adult. Go get a loan to get your truck fixed and be thankful for what you have.
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 Expert
Posts: 1718
Location: Southeast Louisiana | I think there is more to the story, but unless your parents create an account and log on, it's hard to say exactly what is going on.
It's very hard for some parent to give a kid the things they want and you seem to take it for granted that those handouts are a given. They don't have to help you.
So your parents aren't supportive in the way you want them to be. Maybe you aren't exactly showing your gratitude in the way that they want you to either.
They are most likely saying, "a 40k horse and a place to live and she doesn't even offer to help pay for her own college. Just asks for more." Which can be hurtful for them when they're bending over backwards to make you happy and you still find something wrong with the way they do it. | |
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 Forever Young
Posts: 6768
Location: relocated to Texas | I have a really hard time relating to a "problem" like this. I moved away from home at 19 when I graduated high school. It was up to me to support myself, had a full time job and went to night classes. My parents paid for NOTHING. I did not expect them too. I came from a big family, it was all my mother could do to pay for our home and put food on the table. When I got married, I paid for my own SIMPLE wedding, my Mother made the bridesmaid dresses. it was what she could afford at the time. What she did do was teach us how to WORK for the things we wanted. This was more valuable than anything she could have given me because at he age of 28 my ex husband and I started a business that took a tremendous amount of work and sacrifice. i had been taught both of those things, and it was that work ethic that made the business a success. You are 21, going to school and expect your parents to be "supportive" by giving you money to support your horse habit. Your parents see you working and spending your money on your horses. Meanwhile, they are still providing a roof over your head (your boyfriend paying $200 in rent is not REALLY paying rent). You expect them to pay for something unexpected like a vehicle repair. Welcome to the real world kid...unexpected bills will become a way of life. You better learn to cut down on your WANTS to pay for your NEEDS. Horses are fun, but they are not a necessity. If you cannot pay your monthly bills and put aside some in savings for those unexpected items while paying for the horses, then I agree with your parents. Maybe you need to sell them until you can be in a financial position to truly afford them. The best thing your parents can do for you to prepare you to be an independant adult, is to NOT give you the money. You will then have to figure out a way on your own, to truly be on your own. Welcome to adulthood.
Edited to add: I am guessing your parents are not supportive of the horses any longer because they want you to focus on a future for yourself. Horses are a HOBBY, and a very expensive one. You are obviously making the horses a priority over planning for your future. They know this will not serve you well in the long run. The fact that you mention that you get good grades and don't smoke or drink (as though they owe you something for this) is very telling. That might be something you would say when you were a child, but as an adult...guess what? Those things are to YOUR BENEFIT, not your parents.
Edited by Hollywood's Fan 2017-06-05 5:06 PM
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BHW Resident Surgeon
Posts: 25352
Location: Bastrop, Texas | This comment really sums everything up for me:
"I'm sorry if I'm not willing to sell my 40k horse, when I KNOW I will NEVER be able to afford and have paid off a horse of that price and caliber. I'm not trying to sound bratty but I've dreamed of having this barrel horse my entire life! Why would I give that up to go to college for a year to be a vet tech and still scrub by, and wish of having the open horse I have now??"
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Take a Picture
Posts: 12842
| Bear - 2017-06-05 4:57 PM
This comment really sums everything up for me:
"I'm sorry if I'm not willing to sell my 40k horse, when I KNOW I will NEVER be able to afford and have paid off a horse of that price and caliber. I'm not trying to sound bratty but I've dreamed of having this barrel horse my entire life! Why would I give that up to go to college for a year to be a vet tech and still scrub by, and wish of having the open horse I have now??"
Think you could be right. | |
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Expert
Posts: 1718
Location: Southeast Louisiana | streakysox - 2017-06-05 5:12 PM
Bear - 2017-06-05 4:57 PM
This comment really sums everything up for me:
"I'm sorry if I'm not willing to sell my 40k horse, when I KNOW I will NEVER be able to afford and have paid off a horse of that price and caliber. I'm not trying to sound bratty but I've dreamed of having this barrel horse my entire life! Why would I give that up to go to college for a year to be a vet tech and still scrub by, and wish of having the open horse I have now??"
Think you could be right.
Yes. I agree. I, too KNOW I will never be able to afford a forty thousand dollar horse. The struggle is real, yo. | |
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Shelter Dog Lover
Posts: 10277
| Nita - 2017-06-05 5:22 PM streakysox - 2017-06-05 5:12 PM Bear - 2017-06-05 4:57 PM This comment really sums everything up for me: "I'm sorry if I'm not willing to sell my 40k horse, when I KNOW I will NEVER be able to afford and have paid off a horse of that price and caliber. I'm not trying to sound bratty but I've dreamed of having this barrel horse my entire life! Why would I give that up to go to college for a year to be a vet tech and still scrub by, and wish of having the open horse I have now??" Think you could be right. Yes. I agree. I, too KNOW I will never be able to afford a forty thousand dollar horse. The struggle is real, yo.
We could afford high dollar horses for our 3 girls and did buy them nice horses but I guarantee they would be renting an apartment and paying all of their bills if they moved in with the boyfriend and/or were not going to school, the horse would no longer be available to them either. If they wanted to play house with the boyfriend, they get everything that goes along with it, bills and hard times. | |
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| BarrelRacing4Christ - 2017-06-05 2:41 PM
Barrelhorsehelp1 - 2017-06-05 11:31 AM
hoofs_in_motion - 2017-06-05 1:27 PM
If you're sick of hearing your parents complain, move. I'm a few years older than you and I pay for absolutely everything myself, along with my daughter and my horses. Personally, if I were you I would go ask the bank for a loan, get a second job, or sell that 40K horse you seem to rub in everyone's face lol.
I'd love to know how I'm rubbing my horse in everyone's face?? Lmao. I busted my ASS through high school for this horse, I made ALL A's. I worked a job and did everything that was asked of me with 110% effort to have this horse. I'm sorry, actually I'm not, but your wrong.
If you consider making good grades in high school and having a job busting your rear... wait until real life hits you. The more I'm reading through this post I'm seeing years and years of experienced advice being given to you yet you're just not having it. You're coming across like a spoiled brat who's seeking attention. We can't change your parents for you, so what are you expecting, exactly?
^^This. I'm sorry but making good grades in high school and being a good person does not entitle you to getting your parents money, support, etc. I made over a 4.0 in high school and my parents did not support me going out of town to a large university in the least. They wanted me to stay in town at a smaller college. So, I packed my bags, applied for every scholarship I could find, worked every job I could manage, and left. All throughout undergrad (and all of my other degrees), I have paid for every penny from rent to bills to tuition. I took every volunteer opportunity that I could to better my resume to get better jobs to obtain a salary in which I could afford a horse.
On the horse note of this, I wanted a horse since I was small but that was out of the question. So, when I came to college it ended up some of my friends had horses. So for eight years I learned everything I could and rode theirs because there was no way I could even imagine owning a horse. I am now 30 and I am just now in a financial and time situation that I could pay for lessons and buy my $2,500 horse and guess what I am SAVING money for a better horse.
I hardly think you can say, when you are living on your parents property at a very low rent, that you are on you own. Also, if you didn't pay the 40k for the horse or are making payments to pay your parents back for the horse, you hardly did everything to earn the horse.
Edited by EagleJess 2017-06-05 7:41 PM
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Go Get Em!
Posts: 13503
Location: OH. IO | Barrelhorsehelp1 - 2017-06-05 12:33 PM
FLITASTIC - 2017-06-05 11:03 AM
The way I read it, its NOT the OP is asking for money or handouts,its the fact that the parents are being NEGATIVE when it comes to horses by calling them worthless and other things. I am not against a parent teaching someone a lesson, but you don't have to be an A$$-H doing it!!! You can advise someone that horses may not be a good financial choice WITHOUT making it a personal insult.
THANK YOU!!! This is my entire point!
My boyfriend pays rent for the apartment, granted it's not $800 but we still have the responsibility of paying!
I'm sorry if I'm not willing to sell my 40k horse, when I KNOW I will NEVER be able to afford and have paid off a horse of that price and caliber. I'm not trying to sound bratty but I've dreamed of having this barrel horse my entire life! Why would I give that up to go to college for a year to be a vet tech and still scrub by, and wish of having the open horse I have now??
I only have one other horse to sell, which I already planned on selling to make some money but I'm sorry if it's selfish of me to want to keep my once in a life time horse.
I do everything else on my own I don't see why I can't have ONE thing for me?? Just one!! That's all I ask!
You said you lived there for free and then say boyfriend pays the rent.Also,you said they paid for first year of college but WHY SHOULD YOU PAY the second year to be a vet tech?You didn't mind spending THEIR money for the first year though did you?they paid first year then you quit.As a parent I can see why they are not so giving anymore.You have a fourty grand horse and first year of college from them and no money to fix what's broke.What have you done to show them appreciation for the money that got thrown away from them? I CAN TELL YOU THIS.You need to SAVE some of your money for things that HAPPEN.If you are so put out by them complaining about the horses,sit down and think about what they see.money going out the door and no respect .Can you go live at your boyfriend's where you built your barn??How did you get money to build a barn but you can't fix your truck?SEE WHERE YOUR PRIORITIES ARE????The horses first whatever comes next last.YOU NEED TO FIX THIS WITH YOUR PARENTS!There is no better love than momma's. | |
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Meanest Teacher!!!
Posts: 8555
Location: sunny california | I love how some people think they earned all their things by getting a job and getting A's. I did all that too and still got nothing handed to me. earning something is just that: earning it by getting a job and making the money to buy it. Not inheriting it, not getting a job in the family buisness making more than your worth simply because you are family, and not by marrying a sugar daddy. At 21 years old you have no idea what it is like to want something your whole life because you aint old enough to even know what that is...( a whole life). try getting up at 4 am and working 12-14 hours a day for 30 years. and do it fast not sitting around but moving quick and getting things done the whole time. Anyone can put in 12 hour days for a while and think they know what hard work is, but you really have no clue until you have done it for decades. that is how you earn stuff. | |
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Expert
Posts: 1718
Location: Southeast Louisiana | To go back you your original question of how to deal with it. You could try sitting down with them and letting them know how much you appreciate their support and you realize that you could never have what you have if it weren't for them and their hard work (your whole life and before). Let them know that you try and show your gratitude by doing well with what they give you, such as horses and school.
You should also let them know that you want to know how to better show your gratitude. This is something you will deal with your whole life to come. Know what someone else's "currency" is and show gratitude in their language, not yours. Be sincere in this. And, be prepared to follow through. Expect nothing in return. Just do what they ask. I strongly suspect at least some of it will be to take care of your mom's horse without complaining. She has taken care of you and your horses, so you do kinda owe her there.
You can make the statement that your horse is something you will keep and do whatever you have to do to keep it. But, be prepared for the consequences. Your parents might feel that you need to take care of other expenses, too, if that's how you feel.
Tell them often how much you love and appreciate them. After a few years of truly taking care of yourself and your horses, once you're standing on your own two feet, if you feel like they are really taking advantage of you, you will be in a position to remove yourself from the toxic environment. Sometimes, kids end up having to raise their parents. But, you're in no position right now to tell them much of anything about what they should be giving you (or additionally helping you with).
After you show them some maturity, you might just find that your parents are more open to having the conversation with you about what you need from them as far as emotional support for your love of horses. | |
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Posts: 878
Location: "...way down south in the Everglades..." | If you have a 40k horse...you shouldn't expect or even ask for a dime from anyone. Your parents are beyond generous by allowing you to live rent free. Taking care of your Mom's horse is hardly equivalant to paying rent on your own.
Sorry this is going to sound harsh, but you need some money management skills and need to re-evaluate your priorities. If you got that once in a lifetime horse, fine, no one said you need to sell it. But do you need the other two? Can you afford to save money for emergencies?
Let me ask you this...what if that 40k horse suddenly colics and you are given the option of putting it down or paying for a 10k colic surgery? Can you come up with 10k? Without asking your parents?
And as for college, you won't get any sympathy here. I paid for it all on my own despite my 4.0 high school GPA and working through high school. When I was your age I was only able to afford one POS horse and even that was a HUGE burden with paying rent and paying on a vehicle. It was the choice I made. But I never asked my parents for help for my choices. I chose to have a horse (aka luxury item). It required me working two jobs and going to school full time in order to try and get there. The world doesn't owe me, you, or anybody else anything.
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Posts: 3815
Location: The best kept secret in TX | Get a notebook and write down every single thing your parents have paid for in your life time. Every single item. Total the cost of each item.
Then, write down what they have paid for just this year. Total those items.
Now write down where YOUR money goes. Total that.
Have you thanked them? Genuinely thanked them. Have you made a plan to pay them back for every item you have asked for and gotten? Why not? If your parents are cutting you off then it's time to grow up. If you can only borrow from your parents because they don't check credit then you're doing life wrong and they're babying you.
If you go to a tote to note lot and get a loan I promise the next time you need to pay for something that horse will be up for sale faster than you can type a facebook ad. Interest rates are killer on loans. If your horse is worth 40k then sell it. Put 10k down on a new vehicle and buy a 30k horse. If you can't afford truck payments gets a better job. If you can't get a better job to support your lifestyle then buy a $5k beater, Put 5k in a savings account for parts for that beater and take the other 30k to put yourself through school. Don't want to pay that much for school? Still want to buy a horse? Go to a community college with a 20k horse and use the rest to get a degree in something that will make you enough money to put yourself though the expensive school.
If you still don't want to do all that then I'm sorry but It's time to rip the bandaid off.
Edited by IRunOnFaith 2017-06-06 9:20 AM
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Fact Checker
Posts: 16575
Location: Displaced Iowegian | IRunOnFaith - 2017-06-06 9:18 AM Get a notebook and write down every single thing your parents have paid for in your life time. Every single item. Total the cost of each item.
Then, write down what they have paid for just this year. Total those items.
Now write down where YOUR money goes. Total that.
Have you thanked them? Genuinely thanked them. Have you made a plan to pay them back for every item you have asked for and gotten? Why not? If your parents are cutting you off then it's time to grow up. If you can only borrow from your parents because they don't check credit then you're doing life wrong and they're babying you.
If you go to a tote to note lot and get a loan I promise the next time you need to pay for something that horse will be up for sale faster than you can type a facebook ad. Interest rates are killer on loans. If your horse is worth 40k then sell it. Put 10k down on a new vehicle and buy a 30k horse. If you can't afford truck payments gets a better job. If you can't get a better job to support your lifestyle then buy a $5k beater, Put 5k in a savings account for parts for that beater and take the other 30k to put yourself through school. Don't want to pay that much for school? Still want to buy a horse? Go to a community college with a 20k horse and use the rest to get a degree in something that will make you enough money to put yourself though the expensive school.
If you still don't want to do all that then I'm sorry but It's time to rip the bandaid off.
Through the four pages, a lot of the older generation has given the OP advice because we have lived it and raised our children to be self sufficient....but it is REALLY refreshing to see you and several of the younger generation, here on BHW, giving the same advice....Kudos to you and to all of your parents. | |
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BHW Resident Surgeon
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Location: Bastrop, Texas | I'm not old, Norma. I'm in my prime. You are old. | |
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Fact Checker
Posts: 16575
Location: Displaced Iowegian | Bear - 2017-06-06 10:22 AM I'm not old, Norma. I'm in my prime. You are old.
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A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | NJJ - 2017-06-06 10:33 AM Bear - 2017-06-06 10:22 AM I'm not old, Norma. I'm in my prime. You are old.
This is I how I picture how Scott looks in his prime, lol..
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BHW Resident Surgeon
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Location: Bastrop, Texas | Southtxponygirl - 2017-06-06 10:55 AM
NJJ - 2017-06-06 10:33 AM Bear - 2017-06-06 10:22 AM I'm not old, Norma. I'm in my prime. You are old.
I look like Gaston. | |
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A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | Bear - 2017-06-06 10:58 AM Southtxponygirl - 2017-06-06 10:55 AM NJJ - 2017-06-06 10:33 AM Bear - 2017-06-06 10:22 AM I'm not old, Norma. I'm in my prime. You are old. I look like Gaston.
This fellow
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Expert
Posts: 1477
Location: In the land of peanuts and cotton | We're in the same boat.... kinda. Instead of my parents wanting me to sellout and quit and me not wanting to. I want to sell out and quit and they're not letting me. I've almost grown to hate it because of the comments my dad makes about how I'm not doing enough and nit picking everything. But when I do try to do something to help one of the horses then it cost too much money and I don't need to do it. Really can't win no matter what I do. | |
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 Expert
Posts: 1304
| Just deleted everything I wrote because I want to make it shorter and sweeter.
If you're looking for your parents support emotionally, tell them how you feel but you don't need it if you support yourself.
If you're looking for your parents support financially, they don't owe it to you but if your parents are ones to help with things like that then consolidate your horses and show you're worthy of their help.
Unfortunately prioritizing may suck but it'll be worth it in the long run, trust me. I've prioritized work, school, supporting myself and can't have horses right now and have posted the past three years on here looking for one to ride near by. Lol. (and have one to ride once a week now may I add  )
But my decisions now will pay off in the long run and will allow me to have a horse and what I want later on!
Prayers you get it all figured out
Edited by blccwgl55 2017-06-06 1:17 PM
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I just read the headlines
Posts: 4483
| blccwgl55 - 2017-06-06 12:51 PM
I didn't read everything and maybe I should have. My parents have helped me in the past (with the understanding I've always had to and wanted to keep a job) but I still got scholarships and grants to cover most of undergrad and worked for 90/95% of expenses in the beginning of undergrad. I've completely supported myself for the past few years and completely put myself through grad school. I'm not trying to be like oh look at me and what I've done. BUT I'm saying this because I think a lot of us can relate to that and that we've had to give up a lot of things and prioritize. Unfortunately I don't have the resources to have a horse right now so I've posted the last three years always looking for one I can ride (and pay for, do chores for, do whatever, etc) for my horse fix. Lol. I had horses in high school but had to sell them when I got into college. As much as it sucks looking at others barrel racing and having horses at their disposal, I've had to prioritize school, work, and paying off my older truck before I can ever have a horse. My parents would help me at the drop of a hat, but I wouldn't let them pay for my hobby if I couldn't support myself. Nor let them if I could support myself anyway like I do now. I'll say again..as much as it SUCKS some days to not completely have what I want..horse DING DING DING..I am extremely thankful and feel rewarded that I've earned the means now (an education, my first real job, etc) to be able to do that in the future. I do have to say your parents may not need to be so negative against riding, but these hard decisions and choices they're making you face I don't think you'll regret in the long run. Great great lessons.
ETA: Have a talk with your parents on how you feel, BUT consolidate your horses and show them your worthy of their help.
I bet your parents are beyond proud of you! You are a good kid and an excellent example for this young lady to look to. I hope you have a jam up good horse in your future, with a lot of success in your future. | |
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Born not Made
Posts: 2937
Location: North Dakota | Barrelhorsehelp1 - 2017-06-05 1:23 PM Years and years and of nagging and begging! They never wanted the buy the horse but I guess they just got tired of hearing it. All I heard was this will be the last time, the last time! And now all I hear is, why'd I do that? That was the stupidest thing I could have done' My mom is pregnant with another girl I have 5 brothers, I'm the only girl until now and I'm not kidding when we went to find out the sex the first thing out of munch dads mouth when the doctor said it was a girl was "and I'll make sure this one hates horses" Exact. Words. This isn't about the money spent or anything like that. It's about me wanting parents who support me even if I suck or my horses suck. It makes me so unbelievably happy, adult or not. If they don't support it the least they can do is keep it to themselves. I know horses are expensive they don't have to tell me everyday
Of course there are 2 sides to every story and we are only hearing your side, but with LIFE you will have to learn that the only person who is in control of whether you enjoy something or not is YOU.
You say that your parents are ruining horses for you.
You're letting them ruin horses for you. I get that you want their support. But if it is not there, you aren't going to make them. Take that as a life lesson. You will run across many people and many things in life, and you'll need to learn how to surround yourself with positive people -- even if that means leaving friends or family behind that don't support you.
If you are sick of hearing them complain about your horses, then move. Get your own place. Get a second job. Do what you need to do. You are in charge of your own life. You can complain about your parents (like they complain about your horses) or you can choose to do something about it.
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 695
Location: Windoming | sorry, I couldn't resist.....
I do sympathize about their negative attitude towards your horses, especially since your mom apparently likes horses. Why would they buy you such an expensive horse, and then be so negative about it, doesn't make sense.
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Expert
Posts: 3815
Location: The best kept secret in TX | NJJ - 2017-06-06 9:54 AM IRunOnFaith - 2017-06-06 9:18 AM Get a notebook and write down every single thing your parents have paid for in your life time. Every single item. Total the cost of each item.
Then, write down what they have paid for just this year. Total those items.
Now write down where YOUR money goes. Total that.
Have you thanked them? Genuinely thanked them. Have you made a plan to pay them back for every item you have asked for and gotten? Why not? If your parents are cutting you off then it's time to grow up. If you can only borrow from your parents because they don't check credit then you're doing life wrong and they're babying you.
If you go to a tote to note lot and get a loan I promise the next time you need to pay for something that horse will be up for sale faster than you can type a facebook ad. Interest rates are killer on loans. If your horse is worth 40k then sell it. Put 10k down on a new vehicle and buy a 30k horse. If you can't afford truck payments gets a better job. If you can't get a better job to support your lifestyle then buy a $5k beater, Put 5k in a savings account for parts for that beater and take the other 30k to put yourself through school. Don't want to pay that much for school? Still want to buy a horse? Go to a community college with a 20k horse and use the rest to get a degree in something that will make you enough money to put yourself though the expensive school.
If you still don't want to do all that then I'm sorry but It's time to rip the bandaid off.
Thanks Norma
My Momma had to pray a lot for me... Took a lot of Jesus and a lot of stern love before I "Got it".
Never realize what your parents do for you until they take it away.  | |
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Fact Checker
Posts: 16575
Location: Displaced Iowegian | Barrelhorsehelp1 - 2017-06-05 1:23 PM Years and years and of nagging and begging! They never wanted the buy the horse but I guess they just got tired of hearing it. All I heard was this will be the last time, the last time! And now all I hear is, why'd I do that? That was the stupidest thing I could have done' My mom is pregnant with another girl I have 5 brothers, I'm the only girl until now and I'm not kidding when we went to find out the sex the first thing out of munch dads mouth when the doctor said it was a girl was "and I'll make sure this one hates horses" Exact. Words. This isn't about the money spent or anything like that. It's about me wanting parents who support me even if I suck or my horses suck. It makes me so unbelievably happy, adult or not. If they don't support it the least they can do is keep it to themselves. I know horses are expensive they don't have to tell me everyday
And you wonder WHY they have the attitude towards horses that they do? | |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 899
Location: Idaho | IRunOnFaith - 2017-06-07 7:18 AM
Get a notebook and write down every single thing your parents have paid for in your life time. Every single item. Total the cost of each item.
Then, write down what they have paid for just this year. Total those items.
Now write down where YOUR money goes. Total that.
Have you thanked them? Genuinely thanked them. Have you made a plan to pay them back for every item you have asked for and gotten? Why not? If your parents are cutting you off then it's time to grow up. If you can only borrow from your parents because they don't check credit then you're doing life wrong and they're babying you.
If you go to a tote to note lot and get a loan I promise the next time you need to pay for something that horse will be up for sale faster than you can type a facebook ad. Interest rates are killer on loans. If your horse is worth 40k then sell it. Put 10k down on a new vehicle and buy a 30k horse. If you can't afford truck payments gets a better job. If you can't get a better job to support your lifestyle then buy a $5k beater, Put 5k in a savings account for parts for that beater and take the other 30k to put yourself through school. Don't want to pay that much for school? Still want to buy a horse? Go to a community college with a 20k horse and use the rest to get a degree in something that will make you enough money to put yourself though the expensive school.
If you still don't want to do all that then I'm sorry but It's time to rip the bandaid off.
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Ms. Marine
Posts: 4641
Location: Texas | The OP got called out for expecting handouts on a silver spoon and is now MIA... interesting.  | |
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A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | BarrelRacing4Christ - 2017-06-06 2:20 PM The OP got called out for expecting handouts on a silver spoon and is now MIA... interesting.
And wanted to add that alot of us were not born with a silver spoon feeding us, we work for what we got and need.. 
Edited by Southtxponygirl 2017-06-06 2:44 PM
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Expert
Posts: 1304
| Aww thank you so much for your kind comment GLP!! They are and I'm thankful for them and the help they have given me in the past. Like I said, they would help me if I absolutely needed it but I don't like to rely on them. They definitely raised me right and I do owe it to them on my self sufficiency. I really hope I have an awesome horse someday too, that's all I've ever wanted and can't wait!
Edited by blccwgl55 2017-06-06 2:45 PM
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Undercover Amish Mafia Member
Posts: 9992
Location: Kansas | BarrelRacing4Christ - 2017-06-06 2:20 PM The OP got called out for expecting handouts on a silver spoon and is now MIA... interesting.
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Expert
Posts: 3815
Location: The best kept secret in TX | BarrelRacing4Christ - 2017-06-06 2:20 PM The OP got called out for expecting handouts on a silver spoon and is now MIA... interesting.
You know, the ones who riot in the street for 15/hour to flip burgers? The ones who want free healthcare, free school, and free everything? Oh, and don't forget the safe zones. Can't forget those.  
Edited by IRunOnFaith 2017-06-06 4:02 PM
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BHW Resident Surgeon
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Location: Bastrop, Texas | .
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Veteran
Posts: 119
Location: NeverLand | I cant even wrap my head around this. Sounds like a huge case of spoiled brat! this Girl has what people only dream of. And she is complaining?! What is this world coming too?! Such a shame.. if she only knew how lucky she really was.. | |
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Go Get Em!
Posts: 13503
Location: OH. IO | I sincerely hope she is really thinking about all of this.It will only prove to make her a better person if she soaks all of this in. | |
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| BarrelRacing4Christ - 2017-06-06 2:20 PM
The OP got called out for expecting handouts on a silver spoon and is now MIA... interesting.
Didn't go MIA, I read every single comment and took everything into consideration. I've talked to them about it and of course the conversation went nowhere
Sold the 40k for today to a nice coming freshman in High school. That has rode in our 'circle' for a while.
Her parents came with her and were more supportive in the 2 hours they tried the horse than mine have been in my entire riding career.
No amount of money they spent or will spend on me is enough for the lack of MENTAL support. I would give it all up for them to just support my dream, even if they knew it was unattainable for one day.
Thanks for all replies!
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Didn't go MIA, I read every single comment and took everything into consideration. I've talked to them about it and of course the conversation went nowhere
Sold the 40k for today to a nice coming freshman in High school. That has rode in our 'circle' for a while.
Her parents came with her and were more supportive in the 2 hours they tried the horse than mine have been in my entire riding career.
No amount of money they spent or will spend on me is enough for the lack of MENTAL support. I would give it all up for them to just support my dream, even if they knew it was unattainable for one day.
Thanks for all replies!
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 To the Left
Posts: 1865
Location: Florida | What? I can't understand the lack of support. She sounds like a good kid. Her parents are trying to control her. Yes, God bless the child who has her own, but really a little help wouldn't kill her parents and it would be an investment in their future realtionships, like with their grandchildren. | |
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Expert
Posts: 1718
Location: Southeast Louisiana | Barrelhorsehelp1 - 2017-06-06 9:48 PM
Didn't go MIA, I read every single comment and took everything into consideration. I've talked to them about it and of course the conversation went nowhere
Sold the 40k for today to a nice coming freshman in High school. That has rode in our 'circle' for a while.
Her parents came with her and were more supportive in the 2 hours they tried the horse than mine have been in my entire riding career.
No amount of money they spent or will spend on me is enough for the lack of MENTAL support. I would give it all up for them to just support my dream, even if they knew it was unattainable for one day.
Thanks for all replies!
That might never happen. I'm in my 40's and, on the rare occasion that my parents bother to come to a barrel race, they show up late, usually missing my run, walk away to the concession stand when my run is coming up (it's always "oh, sorry I missed it...") complain about the heat and dirt ("filth") the whole time, make stupid jokes, and are just generally... well, they're just who they are. That's never going to change. I still get hopeful every time they say they're coming and disappointed, even though I know not to expect them to act supportive. I do my horses on my own. I always have. They made it known that if they had to start paying for anything with my horse (when I was a kid), that I'd have to sell it. Still, they provided the basics for me and if not for that, I would never have been able to use "my money" for my horse. That realization came when I turned 18 and had to start buying my own groceries, toilet paper, etc.
Selling your good horse won't be the first hard decision you'll have to make. In this case, it was probably the right thing to do at the right time. | |
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Go Get Em!
Posts: 13503
Location: OH. IO | Just wondering if your parents got any of the money back from you selling the horse? | |
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| I was gonna write that at the end as a 'P.S' but figured if I posted what happened I'd be the spoiled sliver spoon fed brat that isn't grantful for anything
But yes I gave them every dime, cash. They replied with "about time, he was crippled and never won any money. Where's the other 5k at"
I sold him for 5k less than what we paid
Him being crippled is he had a abscess btw | |
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A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | So he was sound enought to ride, what about the hairline fracture he was on stall rest for, and I thought the farrier made him dead lame? | |
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| We suspected a hairline, once he had gotten to the vet and x rays were done it proven nothing more than a bruise with a abscess.
If you must know.
She also had him vetted, where he was 100% sound.
Regardless why does that have to do with my issues with my unsupportive parents?
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I just read the headlines
Posts: 4483
| I am sorry you got no emotional support from your parents, I can't imagine not supporting my kids emotionally for all the activities they did. You just did some growing up and that is almost always painful. You are learning how to be independent and that is really important for your well being. Just know you did the right thing selling the horse and giving the money back to your parents. Now continue gaining your total independence by finding your own place to live, fixing/selling your truck and put yourself through whatever schooling you choose. Good luck to you sweetheart, you can do this. | |
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 Expert
Posts: 1612
Location: Cocoa, Florida | 40k horse and $200 rent..... id take the bit**ing any day!!!!!
I call that more then supportive parents! | |
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Fact Checker
Posts: 16575
Location: Displaced Iowegian | Barrelhorsehelp1 - 2017-06-06 11:05 PM I was gonna write that at the end as a 'P.S' but figured if I posted what happened I'd be the spoiled sliver spoon fed brat that isn't grantful for anything But yes I gave them every dime, cash. They replied with "about time, he was crippled and never won any money. Where's the other 5k at" I sold him for 5k less than what we paid Him being crippled is he had a abscess btw
Sorry.....no way you sold a crippled problem horse for 35K ..... Here are your own posts about this horse.....
6 yr old gelding, hasn't been hauled consistently till this year. (I bought him in February) vetted clean in all aspects. I know everyone thinks they have the next world champion but this gelding really is a Diamond in the rough. One minute he's winning rodeos and barrel races against tough people, bottom of the 1d at super shows with 600/800+ and the next he's bowling for barrels.
He's ALWAYS been a worker, I've never seen him run past his second and third barrel. But here lately he's just shutting down before he gets to his barrels AND cheating! Normally you could feel him quick a couple strides before he turned and get kick him that extra step up, but now he's shutting down AND cheating.
Uused a psychic (Toni) and all is fixed ....
Needs a bit that will work for him
NOW....you can't catch him ....
He won't eat and probably has ulcers
He is off in the front.....
And ages fast ......bought him as a 6 year old in 2016 ....now......
My 8 yr old gelding has stopped running.. which isnt like him to say the least. quick back ground info... bought him in Febuary 2016.. he was patterned well and hauled to small local jackpots where, he ran in the 1D pretty consistently, but CREAMED barrels. couldnt leave a barrel up.
Just change his head gear .....
D*MN .... the farrier ruined him ........
Alas ...... Hairline fracture to pastern bone. It's a 4-8 week lay up but vet has me on stall rest till Monday so we can get better x rays.. he's been on stall rest for almost a week and the swelling started yesterday morning.
Please don't try to BS us here....... | |
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I just read the headlines
Posts: 4483
| I've been really b*^#ched at and NO amount of money was worth it to me. I would rather sell the horse, move out and support myself. Come to find out, my Dad really respected me after that. It wasn't horses that caused the friction, though. Our strong personalities and my lack of focus for my future was the problem. Maybe this is the true friction for the OP, but she isn't seeing it and the whole family doesn't communicate well. Mine didn't. | |
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 Owner of a ratting catting machine
Posts: 2258
| This entire thread has made me chuckle and shake my head, all at the same time.
Delusions of grandeur hit us all so hard when we're trying to be cool online.
As to your unsupportive parents, you need to get a grip. You're grown. You have a roof over your head. You have the ability to go get a job and pull your own weight.
Your mother is PREGNANT. SHE'S GOING TO HAVE A BABY. You are not a priority. Sorry pal. You should make HER a priority and think about HER for a minute. You should be asking what you can do to help, she probably feels like crap and is exhausted. You are being a spoiled brat. It doesn't matter one freaking second if you don't think she should be having a baby. It's her life, not yours. She wants to have a baby, or whether she doesn't, isn't actually your business. At all. She's an adult. You're an adult. Get off the nipple and go stand on your own two feet. Don't take another dime from them, or even think for a moment that they owe you squat.
There are literally millions of Americans that make their own way. Make yours, or shut up and put up. Take better care of the people that are taking care of you. Whine and moan and complain all you want, but I'm not buying it. If you want "emotional" support, go to a safe room and get a coloring book.
I won't even bother to give you examples from my life, well maybe I can't help it.
My father has seen me run barrels once in my life. Once. After the hundreds of runs I have made, once. He's seen me once.
My mother 'loves' to go watch me run, but then has something snide to say. Sometimes she mixes things up and is sulking in the pickup when I get done running because we've been there longer than she wanted.
When I wanted a 'barrel horse' in highschool, I got handed a $600 weanling and was told to get after it. I loved that horse, she was mine. When I was a sophomore, my grandfather got me a two year old that I trained and took to college rodeo with me as a five year old. He was a grade Hancock bred hot mess, but I loved him so much and he ran 2D times for me as fast as he could go. You've had the opportunity to get on a good horse from the get go. You should be able to make one yourself now without nearly as much guinea pigging, because you know how a good one is supposed to feel.
You have been handed more opportunity in your life then I can fathom. I moved in with my boyfriend in college, and promptly got a huge dose of cold air from home. No money for school, no vehicle, no money horses, no money for food, no money for rent. I lost 25 pounds because we just didn't eat. When it looked like I was determined to stay in school and have my horses going, the folks softened up and helped me, but that was two hard years later. Two hard years of 45 hour weeks at two jobs and full time college courses.
So please, get a grip, get some grateful into your brain, and go hug your mama and ask if you can clean her house. It doesn't even matter if in the long run she doesn't seem "appreciative" enough. Maybe then you'll know how it feels to give someone some effort, and end up feeling taken for granted.
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Expert
Posts: 3815
Location: The best kept secret in TX | NJJ - 2017-06-07 7:21 AM Barrelhorsehelp1 - 2017-06-06 11:05 PM I was gonna write that at the end as a 'P.S' but figured if I posted what happened I'd be the spoiled sliver spoon fed brat that isn't grantful for anything But yes I gave them every dime, cash. They replied with "about time, he was crippled and never won any money. Where's the other 5k at" I sold him for 5k less than what we paid Him being crippled is he had a abscess btw Sorry.....no way you sold a crippled problem horse for 35K ..... Here are your own posts about this horse.....
6 yr old gelding, hasn't been hauled consistently till this year. (I bought him in February ) vetted clean in all aspects. I know everyone thinks they have the next world champion but this gelding really is a Diamond in the rough. One minute he's winning rodeos and barrel races against tough people, bottom of the 1d at super shows with 600/800+ and the next he's bowling for barrels.
He's ALWAYS been a worker, I've never seen him run past his second and third barrel. But here lately he's just shutting down before he gets to his barrels AND cheating! Normally you could feel him quick a couple strides before he turned and get kick him that extra step up, but now he's shutting down AND cheating.
Uused a psychic (Toni ) and all is fixed ....
Needs a bit that will work for him
NOW....you can't catch him ....
He won't eat and probably has ulcers
He is off in the front.....
And ages fast ......bought him as a 6 year old in 2016 ....now......
My 8 yr old gelding has stopped running.. which isnt like him to say the least. quick back ground info... bought him in Febuary 2016.. he was patterned well and hauled to small local jackpots where, he ran in the 1D pretty consistently, but CREAMED barrels. couldnt leave a barrel up.
Just change his head gear .....
D*MN .... the farrier ruined him ........
Alas ...... Hairline fracture to pastern bone. It's a 4-8 week lay up but vet has me on stall rest till Monday so we can get better x rays.. he's been on stall rest for almost a week and the swelling started yesterday morning.
Please don't try to BS us here.......
I was thinking the same. No way she sold the horse that fast with all those problems. No vet would make that horse 100% sound and no one would spend 35k on a horse that was "dead lame".
Not buying it. Either OP was lying the whole time about everything, or parents put the horse up for sale for her and she was whining about it on here.
OP: Twisting the story to poor pitiful me is not how you win in life. Lying gets you no where but found out.
If your parents bought the horse, your parents own the horse and you were simply a jockey for their horse. If their horse sells then they get the money. That's how it works. Welcome to Barrel Racing.
No way you sold him. If you're posting that you sold him to try and redeem yourself then shame on you. The only way you can even possible start to redeem yourself is if you actually tell the truth. Welcome to adulthood. | |
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Expert
Posts: 3815
Location: The best kept secret in TX | classicpotatochip - 2017-06-07 7:54 AM This entire thread has made me chuckle and shake my head, all at the same time. Delusions of grandeur hit us all so hard when we're trying to be cool online. As to your unsupportive parents, you need to get a grip. You're grown. You have a roof over your head. You have the ability to go get a job and pull your own weight. Your mother is PREGNANT. SHE'S GOING TO HAVE A BABY. You are not a priority. Sorry pal. You should make HER a priority and think about HER for a minute. You should be asking what you can do to help, she probably feels like crap and is exhausted. You are being a spoiled brat. It doesn't matter one freaking second if you don't think she should be having a baby. It's her life, not yours. She wants to have a baby, or whether she doesn't, isn't actually your business. At all. She's an adult. You're an adult. Get off the nipple and go stand on your own two feet. Don't take another dime from them, or even think for a moment that they owe you squat. There are literally millions of Americans that make their own way. Make yours, or shut up and put up. Take better care of the people that are taking care of you. Whine and moan and complain all you want, but I'm not buying it. If you want "emotional" support, go to a safe room and get a coloring book. I won't even bother to give you examples from my life, well maybe I can't help it. My father has seen me run barrels once in my life. Once. After the hundreds of runs I have made, once. He's seen me once. My mother 'loves' to go watch me run, but then has something snide to say. Sometimes she mixes things up and is sulking in the pickup when I get done running because we've been there longer than she wanted. When I wanted a 'barrel horse' in highschool, I got handed a $600 weanling and was told to get after it. I loved that horse, she was mine. When I was a sophomore, my grandfather got me a two year old that I trained and took to college rodeo with me as a five year old. He was a grade Hancock bred hot mess, but I loved him so much and he ran 2D times for me as fast as he could go. You've had the opportunity to get on a good horse from the get go. You should be able to make one yourself now without nearly as much guinea pigging, because you know how a good one is supposed to feel. You have been handed more opportunity in your life then I can fathom. I moved in with my boyfriend in college, and promptly got a huge dose of cold air from home. No money for school, no vehicle, no money horses, no money for food, no money for rent. I lost 25 pounds because we just didn't eat. When it looked like I was determined to stay in school and have my horses going, the folks softened up and helped me, but that was two hard years later. Two hard years of 45 hour weeks at two jobs and full time college courses. So please, get a grip, get some grateful into your brain, and go hug your mama and ask if you can clean her house. It doesn't even matter if in the long run she doesn't seem "appreciative" enough. Maybe then you'll know how it feels to give someone some effort, and end up feeling taken for granted.
Annnnnnnnnnd
MIC DROP! | |
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Serious Snap Trapper
Posts: 4275
Location: In The Snow, AZ | This turned into a shat show while I was gone. | |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 899
Location: Idaho | IRunOnFaith - 2017-06-08 7:42 AM
NJJ - 2017-06-07 7:21 AM Barrelhorsehelp1 - 2017-06-06 11:05 PM I was gonna write that at the end as a 'P.S' but figured if I posted what happened I'd be the spoiled sliver spoon fed brat that isn't grantful for anything But yes I gave them every dime, cash. They replied with "about time, he was crippled and never won any money. Where's the other 5k at" I sold him for 5k less than what we paid Him being crippled is he had a abscess btw Sorry.....no way you sold a crippled problem horse for 35K ..... Here are your own posts about this horse.....
6 yr old gelding, hasn't been hauled consistently till this year. (I bought him in February ) vetted clean in all aspects. I know everyone thinks they have the next world champion but this gelding really is a Diamond in the rough. One minute he's winning rodeos and barrel races against tough people, bottom of the 1d at super shows with 600/800+ and the next he's bowling for barrels.
He's ALWAYS been a worker, I've never seen him run past his second and third barrel. But here lately he's just shutting down before he gets to his barrels AND cheating! Normally you could feel him quick a couple strides before he turned and get kick him that extra step up, but now he's shutting down AND cheating.
Uused a psychic (Toni ) and all is fixed ....
Needs a bit that will work for him
NOW....you can't catch him ....
He won't eat and probably has ulcers
He is off in the front.....
And ages fast ......bought him as a 6 year old in 2016 ....now......
My 8 yr old gelding has stopped running.. which isnt like him to say the least. quick back ground info... bought him in Febuary 2016.. he was patterned well and hauled to small local jackpots where, he ran in the 1D pretty consistently, but CREAMED barrels. couldnt leave a barrel up.
Just change his head gear .....
D*MN .... the farrier ruined him ........
Alas ...... Hairline fracture to pastern bone. It's a 4-8 week lay up but vet has me on stall rest till Monday so we can get better x rays.. he's been on stall rest for almost a week and the swelling started yesterday morning.
Please don't try to BS us here.......
Not buying it. Either OP was lying the whole time about everything, or parents put the horse up for sale for her and she was whining about it on here.
OP: Twisting the story to poor pitiful me is not how you win in life. Lying gets you no where but found out.
If your parents bought the horse, your parents own the horse and you were simply a jockey for their horse. If their horse sells then they get the money. That's how it works. Welcome to Barrel Racing.
No way you sold him. If you're posting that you sold him to try and redeem yourself then shame on you. The only way you can even possible start to redeem yourself is if you actually tell the truth. Welcome to adulthood.
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I just read the headlines
Posts: 4483
| ~BINGO~ - 2017-06-07 9:48 AM
This turned into a shat show while I was gone.
Yep, it did. | |
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Undercover Amish Mafia Member
Posts: 9992
Location: Kansas | Barrelhorsehelp1 - 2017-06-05 1:38 PM Far from 'Butt-hurt' but assuming will make an ass out of both of us.
after further into the thread.....who's the ass now? | |
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Serious Snap Trapper
Posts: 4275
Location: In The Snow, AZ |
It's hard enough to sell a sound horse for $4000 let alone a lame one who blows by barrels for $35,000.... and it's been a matter of a few days since it was stated that she wouldn't ever sell him.
Edited by ~BINGO~ 2017-06-07 10:24 AM
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 602
| Barrelhorsehelp1 - 2017-06-05 10:54 AM
Southtxponygirl - 2017-06-05 11:50 AM
Barrelhorsehelp1 - 2017-06-05 10:30 AM It's the apartment on the property. I don't live in the house with them but yes I live under one of there roofs, for free. 1 horse isn't mine, I have a 2 yr old that is getting sent off end of this month for 30 days then coming home and being sold, then I have my open horse. The funds to care for my two and even my moms isn't the problem, the problem is I can't stand to go home or have any kinds of problems and try to vent to my parents or ask for help and I'm told 'sell the worthless horses'
I would love to hear their (the parents) point of view here, I cant picture them being the way their sounding here, you live free in a apartment on their property, you have a 40,000 dollar horse, its not fair to be calling her parents a_holes when we really dont know the story here, theres always two sides and they must have a reason they dont support having more then 2 horses..
Yes they bought the horse, I was more than thankful for it!! I still am. But just because they paid for him doesn't mean I deserve to hear crap about it every single day. If they didn't want me to have horses they shouldn't have bought me one in the first place.
I make good grades, I don't drink I don't smoke, I don't party, I'm not pregnant. I literally do nothing besides ride my horse (s )
I don't ask them to buy feed, I don't ask them to put gas in my truck I don't ask them for vet bill money, I don't ask for new tires.
my boyfriend or I pays for everything, we pay $200 rent for the apartment, I pay my board for my horses and HER horse which I don't complain to my mom about feeding because we only pay 200 in rent.
I PAY FOR EVERYTHING ELSE!!!! How is that not spamming on my own two feet??? God forbid I ACTUALLY need some help. Everything else includes, insurance, horses, clothes, food, phone, everything.
My parents don't like horses because they say all horse people are trash, it's not a way to make a living and it's expensive to make no money back. It's a hobby and as they say "your brothers have grown out of their hobbies it's time for you to sell your horses"
They think the entire horse Industry is all crooks, they haven't been to a rodeo or show in YEARS. Don't care to hear how i did, don't wanna hear if something went wrong. There's no money in it and it's pointless.
Even when I was 15-16 they HATED when I'd ask for horse stuff for birthdays or Christmas. It's just the way they have always been
Easy fix.... Dont mention horse stuff to your parents. Dont ask for horse stuff for xmas or birthday. If they are too harsh, stop the conversation. You are at that age, you need to be weaned off your parents and become an adult. If you cant stand being around your parents or their negativity, move. My brother moved the day he turned 18, he didnt get along with my parents under one roof. When he moved and became independent, his relationship with them got better. If you cant afford horses, then sell them. Take a break and come back to it when you can afford it. I took 3 years off from horses because I literally couldnt afford a newborn/daycare and the maintenance of a horse. You have the opportunity to change your situation, go out and do it! | |
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 Guys Just Wanna Have Fun
Posts: 5530
Location: OH | spitzh - 2017-06-07 12:13 PM Barrelhorsehelp1 - 2017-06-05 10:54 AM Southtxponygirl - 2017-06-05 11:50 AM Barrelhorsehelp1 - 2017-06-05 10:30 AM It's the apartment on the property. I don't live in the house with them but yes I live under one of there roofs, for free. 1 horse isn't mine, I have a 2 yr old that is getting sent off end of this month for 30 days then coming home and being sold, then I have my open horse. The funds to care for my two and even my moms isn't the problem, the problem is I can't stand to go home or have any kinds of problems and try to vent to my parents or ask for help and I'm told 'sell the worthless horses' I would love to hear their (the parents) point of view here, I cant picture them being the way their sounding here, you live free in a apartment on their property, you have a 40,000 dollar horse, its not fair to be calling her parents a_holes when we really dont know the story here, theres always two sides and they must have a reason they dont support having more then 2 horses.. Yes they bought the horse, I was more than thankful for it!! I still am. But just because they paid for him doesn't mean I deserve to hear crap about it every single day. If they didn't want me to have horses they shouldn't have bought me one in the first place. I make good grades, I don't drink I don't smoke, I don't party, I'm not pregnant. I literally do nothing besides ride my horse (s ) I don't ask them to buy feed, I don't ask them to put gas in my truck I don't ask them for vet bill money, I don't ask for new tires. my boyfriend or I pays for everything, we pay $200 rent for the apartment, I pay my board for my horses and HER horse which I don't complain to my mom about feeding because we only pay 200 in rent. I PAY FOR EVERYTHING ELSE!!!! How is that not spamming on my own two feet??? God forbid I ACTUALLY need some help. Everything else includes, insurance, horses, clothes, food, phone, everything. My parents don't like horses because they say all horse people are trash, it's not a way to make a living and it's expensive to make no money back. It's a hobby and as they say "your brothers have grown out of their hobbies it's time for you to sell your horses" They think the entire horse Industry is all crooks, they haven't been to a rodeo or show in YEARS. Don't care to hear how i did, don't wanna hear if something went wrong. There's no money in it and it's pointless. Even when I was 15-16 they HATED when I'd ask for horse stuff for birthdays or Christmas. It's just the way they have always been Easy fix.... Dont mention horse stuff to your parents. Dont ask for horse stuff for xmas or birthday. If they are too harsh, stop the conversation. You are at that age, you need to be weaned off your parents and become an adult. If you cant stand being around your parents or their negativity, move. My brother moved the day he turned 18, he didnt get along with my parents under one roof. When he moved and became independent, his relationship with them got better. If you cant afford horses, then sell them. Take a break and come back to it when you can afford it. I took 3 years off from horses because I literally couldnt afford a newborn/daycare and the maintenance of a horse. You have the opportunity to change your situation, go out and do it!
BUT BUT BUT-----that sounds hard !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | |
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| How are y'all gonna tell me I didn't sell the horse????? Or that he isn't not sound?? That makes no sense?
I did sell him, he is sound. If I knew how to make the pic smaller that I'm trying to attach its from the vet the day I left stating his a bruised hoof with a abscess making it's way to the coronary band?
Even though I don't need to explain myself to ANY one you.
they girl that bought him, leased him for youth world and has BEEN wanting to buy him long before this post, they jumped on the offer when I text them. Keyboard warriors! 
This will be my last post, I'm busting selling all my other crap. Ya know adulting like everyone suggested! | |
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Serious Snap Trapper
Posts: 4275
Location: In The Snow, AZ | Barrelhorsehelp1 - 2017-06-07 9:37 AM
How are y'all gonna tell me I didn't sell the horse????? Or that he isn't not sound?? That makes no sense?
I did sell him, he is sound. If I knew how to make the pic smaller that I'm trying to attach its from the vet the day I left stating his a bruised hoof with a abscess making it's way to the coronary band?
Even though I don't need to explain myself to ANY one you.
they girl that bought him, leased him for youth world and has BEEN wanting to buy him long before this post, they jumped on the offer when I text them. Keyboard warriors!
This will be my last post, I'm busting selling all my other crap. Ya know adulting like everyone suggested!
Take things worth a grain of salt. Nobody knows your situation aside from what you have put on here. Everyone pokes and jokes and plays off one another. We are all the nicest a$$holes. No reason to be affected. Do whatcha gotta do. | |
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Expert
Posts: 3815
Location: The best kept secret in TX | Mighty Broke - 2017-06-07 11:16 AM spitzh - 2017-06-07 12:13 PM Barrelhorsehelp1 - 2017-06-05 10:54 AM Southtxponygirl - 2017-06-05 11:50 AM Barrelhorsehelp1 - 2017-06-05 10:30 AM It's the apartment on the property. I don't live in the house with them but yes I live under one of there roofs, for free. 1 horse isn't mine, I have a 2 yr old that is getting sent off end of this month for 30 days then coming home and being sold, then I have my open horse. The funds to care for my two and even my moms isn't the problem, the problem is I can't stand to go home or have any kinds of problems and try to vent to my parents or ask for help and I'm told 'sell the worthless horses' I would love to hear their (the parents) point of view here, I cant picture them being the way their sounding here, you live free in a apartment on their property, you have a 40,000 dollar horse, its not fair to be calling her parents a_holes when we really dont know the story here, theres always two sides and they must have a reason they dont support having more then 2 horses.. Yes they bought the horse, I was more than thankful for it!! I still am. But just because they paid for him doesn't mean I deserve to hear crap about it every single day. If they didn't want me to have horses they shouldn't have bought me one in the first place. I make good grades, I don't drink I don't smoke, I don't party, I'm not pregnant. I literally do nothing besides ride my horse (s ) I don't ask them to buy feed, I don't ask them to put gas in my truck I don't ask them for vet bill money, I don't ask for new tires. my boyfriend or I pays for everything, we pay $200 rent for the apartment, I pay my board for my horses and HER horse which I don't complain to my mom about feeding because we only pay 200 in rent. I PAY FOR EVERYTHING ELSE!!!! How is that not spamming on my own two feet??? God forbid I ACTUALLY need some help. Everything else includes, insurance, horses, clothes, food, phone, everything. My parents don't like horses because they say all horse people are trash, it's not a way to make a living and it's expensive to make no money back. It's a hobby and as they say "your brothers have grown out of their hobbies it's time for you to sell your horses" They think the entire horse Industry is all crooks, they haven't been to a rodeo or show in YEARS. Don't care to hear how i did, don't wanna hear if something went wrong. There's no money in it and it's pointless. Even when I was 15-16 they HATED when I'd ask for horse stuff for birthdays or Christmas. It's just the way they have always been Easy fix.... Dont mention horse stuff to your parents. Dont ask for horse stuff for xmas or birthday. If they are too harsh, stop the conversation. You are at that age, you need to be weaned off your parents and become an adult. If you cant stand being around your parents or their negativity, move. My brother moved the day he turned 18, he didnt get along with my parents under one roof. When he moved and became independent, his relationship with them got better. If you cant afford horses, then sell them. Take a break and come back to it when you can afford it. I took 3 years off from horses because I literally couldnt afford a newborn/daycare and the maintenance of a horse. You have the opportunity to change your situation, go out and do it!
I don't understand how the OP doesn't see that her parents ARE helping her out by allowing her to only pay $200 in rent. On top of that the OP is complainging about having to board her mothers horse. I remember in a previous post the OP built a barn on the Boyfriend's Parents property and is allowed to keep horsesd there for free.
Am I missing something?
How are your parents not helping you?
What would happen if you and your BF broke up ? Would you be able to support yourself? If not, why not? What are you doing in order to help support your own self?
Did you know that even if me and my husband got a divorce that I could pay my own bills with no help at all? Always plan for the worst and hope for the best.
At this point in your life, if your parents kicked you and BF out how would you pay rent? How would you pay rent if you were alone? Where would the horses go?
My Daddy always says: "Fail to Plan, Plan to Fail."
They could easily kick you and your boyfriend none the less, out and get $800 in rent. That was also stated earlier: "It's not 800 but it's rent". Which menas your parents could easily be getting $800 from someone else living in the apartment and wouldn't have to worry if they're emotionally supporting you or not. On that note, if you're worried about someone's approval I would suggest going to therapy with your mother.
So yes, they are supporting you. Not everyone has the same dreams as you kiddo and your parents clearly see that horses aren't bringin in any money for you. We all have dry spells, yes.
You want to make money at this? Train your own horse. Train someone elses horse. Jockey another 40k horse and get commision when it sells. That's how you make money in this industry. You buy a dinky 2 year old with as much cash as you can spare papers or not and you train that horse until it wins consistently. You sell it for prfit and buy a better horse. Train it. Win. Sell. It's a cycle. You'll have to ride the dinks before you can ride the greats again. Build up to that 40k dream horse, or make your own 40k dream horse out of a 5k prospect.
Winning jackpots and rodeos will not make you a millionaire. There is no money in it. Sure, you can win big. But that money is your next meal, your next entry fee, your next truck and trailer payment. It goes fast. There is money to be had in the horse industry. Your parents are right. Sure, people make profit but they work extremely hard fo rhwat little profit they make.
Until you are fully on your own, making money with horses enough to support your own self (Without Boyfriends help as well) then your parents will always want better for you. Any parent would. | |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 1079
Location: MN | I agree. Move out. Off of the property, out of their apartment. Since you sold your horse, find little things to prove to them you can do it on your own. Get a loan if you have to. Provide your parents with a check weekly, no matter the amount, but to show them that you are going to pay them back the 5k. Maybe when they see you trying their attitudes will improve? Im sorry you have such negative parents. I dont agree with quite a few things youve posted that they have said because my parents would and have never said anything like that to me. Ever. Especially the, "I'll make sure this one hates horses." That is just wrong. I would get far far away from them. Maybe time can fix your relationship with them and pray for their attitudes to change.
But for the time being, if what you are saying is true, you need to get out. Fast. Remove yourself from the negativity and live your life the way you want to live it. If that means taking out a loan, paying off your parents then having to pay that loan off. Then so be it. In the end, you need to do what makes YOU happy.
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A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | Barrelhorsehelp1 - 2017-06-07 11:37 AM How are y'all gonna tell me I didn't sell the horse????? Or that he isn't not sound?? That makes no sense? I did sell him, he is sound. If I knew how to make the pic smaller that I'm trying to attach its from the vet the day I left stating his a bruised hoof with a abscess making it's way to the coronary band? Even though I don't need to explain myself to ANY one you. they girl that bought him, leased him for youth world and has BEEN wanting to buy him long before this post, they jumped on the offer when I text them. Keyboard warriors! This will be my last post, I'm busting selling all my other crap. Ya know adulting like everyone suggested!
You need to go and reread all your threads that you made and see what you said and then tell us that we are being A_holes because you dont make no sense at all, you said you just bought this horse a year ago, he was a diamond in the rough, he was a barrel hitter and then not a barrel hitter, he only had a few runs when you got him, hes got a hairline fracture, hes needs a bonnet tie down, what bit for him the farrier made him dead lame so on and so on. and now your saying you had him least out to someone for the youth world, wow alot sure did happen within a year of owning him. And what Vet would pass him being 100% sound? Its real simple to go back on your threads, if you need help let us know I'm sure someone would be more then happy to help you.. So better yet we can bump them all up for you to read if you like.  | |
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Expert
Posts: 3815
Location: The best kept secret in TX | Southtxponygirl - 2017-06-07 11:57 AM Barrelhorsehelp1 - 2017-06-07 11:37 AM How are y'all gonna tell me I didn't sell the horse????? Or that he isn't not sound?? That makes no sense? I did sell him, he is sound. If I knew how to make the pic smaller that I'm trying to attach its from the vet the day I left stating his a bruised hoof with a abscess making it's way to the coronary band? Even though I don't need to explain myself to ANY one you. they girl that bought him, leased him for youth world and has BEEN wanting to buy him long before this post, they jumped on the offer when I text them. Keyboard warriors! This will be my last post, I'm busting selling all my other crap. Ya know adulting like everyone suggested!
Maybe we should bump them... I remember reading a lot about this horse on [revious threads.... | |
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Expert
Posts: 3815
Location: The best kept secret in TX | Here is a link to every post you've started. Maybe go back and read all the info you put down about this horse and other aspects of each post. When things don't add up and make sense Roxie, NJJ, myself, and many others will call you on it. Not to be mean but to get to the bottom of the matter. http://forums.barrelhorseworld.com/forum/search/query.asp?fid=1&action=search&searchforumid=1&keywords=&mode=1&author=Barrelhorsehelp1&datemode=1&days=365 | |
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Fact Checker
Posts: 16575
Location: Displaced Iowegian | Barrelhorsehelp1 - 2017-06-07 11:37 AM How are y'all gonna tell me I didn't sell the horse????? Or that he isn't not sound?? That makes no sense? I did sell him, he is sound. If I knew how to make the pic smaller that I'm trying to attach its from the vet the day I left stating his a bruised hoof with a abscess making it's way to the coronary band? Even though I don't need to explain myself to ANY one you. they girl that bought him, leased him for youth world and has BEEN wanting to buy him long before this post, they jumped on the offer when I text them. Keyboard warriors! This will be my last post, I'm busting selling all my other crap. Ya know adulting like everyone suggested!
YOU posted this June THIRD ' .......
Hairline fracture to pastern bone. It's a 4-8 week lay up but vet has me on stall rest till Monday so we can get better x rays.. he's been on stall rest for almost a week and the swelling started yesterday morning. I had a session of leader therapy this morning which took all the swelling out 'for now' but it is SOOO hot, I know the swelling will be back just wasn't sure should I sweat it out or ice it
And now you want us to believe that TWO days later you sold this horse as vet checked SOUND.....you REALLY need to go back and read your own posts ......
Additionally, you do realize that there are 40K BHW users from all over the U.S. and usually around 2000+ ONLINE every day ..... and you don't think that someone just "may" know you and your horse!
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Ms. Marine
Posts: 4641
Location: Texas |
She just wants attention. Her story continues to change over and over again. I'm done wasting my time. | |
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Expert
Posts: 3815
Location: The best kept secret in TX | BarrelRacing4Christ - 2017-06-07 2:10 PM She just wants attention. Her story continues to change over and over again. I'm done wasting my time.
I'm just here for the comments now. She isn't going to listen because she is right and everyone who has more experience and who have tried to help are just "Keyboard Warriors" now that she's been caught in her web of lies.
What's next?
I wonder if the "buyer" could find this post and sue for their 35k they just shelled out for a "sound" horse. Would be very interesting if this post and all her other posts were used against her in a court of law. If I was the buyer I'd be warning people of her shady horse deals. If the deal wasn't shady and the horse was in fact sound then why are all the other posts made about this horse? Were all the other posts lies? Or was the comment about him being sound a lie? One of them has to be a lie. They can't both be true. It's not possible.
NJJ is right. Someone knows who you are offline. A lot of us know each other offline. This community is too small of a circle for everyone to not know who you are.
BHW, If you know someone who just bought a 35k Gelding from someone named Robin, send them this way! I'd love to hear the whole story as would the rest of BHW.
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BHW Resident Surgeon
Posts: 25352
Location: Bastrop, Texas | IRunOnFaith - 2017-06-07 2:35 PM
BarrelRacing4Christ - 2017-06-07 2:10 PM She just wants attention. Her story continues to change over and over again. I'm done wasting my time.
What's next?
I wonder if the "buyer" could find this post and sue for their 35k they just shelled out for a "sound" horse. Would be very interesting if this post and all her other posts were used against her in a court of law. If I was the buyer I'd be warning people of her shady horse deals. If the deal wasn't shady and the horse was in fact sound then why are all the other posts made about this horse? Were all the other posts lies? Or was the comment about him being sound a lie? One of them has to be a lie. They can't both be true. It's not possible.
NJJ is right. Someone knows who you are offline. A lot of us know each other offline. This community is too small of a circle for everyone to not know who you are.
BHW, If you know someone who just bought a 35k Gelding from someone named Robin, send them this way! I'd love to hear the whole story as would the rest of BHW.
I wouldn't hold my breath. There's ample reason to doubt anything she says.
Everything she's said has been twisted and contradicted. | |
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Take a Picture
Posts: 12842
| Bear - 2017-06-07 5:48 PM
IRunOnFaith - 2017-06-07 2:35 PM
BarrelRacing4Christ - 2017-06-07 2:10 PM She just wants attention. Her story continues to change over and over again. I'm done wasting my time.
What's next?
I wonder if the "buyer" could find this post and sue for their 35k they just shelled out for a "sound" horse. Would be very interesting if this post and all her other posts were used against her in a court of law. If I was the buyer I'd be warning people of her shady horse deals. If the deal wasn't shady and the horse was in fact sound then why are all the other posts made about this horse? Were all the other posts lies? Or was the comment about him being sound a lie? One of them has to be a lie. They can't both be true. It's not possible.
NJJ is right. Someone knows who you are offline. A lot of us know each other offline. This community is too small of a circle for everyone to not know who you are.
BHW, If you know someone who just bought a 35k Gelding from someone named Robin, send them this way! I'd love to hear the whole story as would the rest of BHW.
I wouldn't hold my breath. There's ample reason to doubt anything she says.
Everything she's said has been twisted and contradicted.
Is this the horse that was crashing barrels in one of her threads? She also mentioned that the horse was hurt. He sure sold fast. Goodness. | |
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Serious Snap Trapper
Posts: 4275
Location: In The Snow, AZ | Nobody knows me offline. | |
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Fact Checker
Posts: 16575
Location: Displaced Iowegian | ~BINGO~ - 2017-06-07 6:47 PM Nobody knows me offline.
Really, Nancy ???? | |
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 Warmblood with Wings
Posts: 27846
Location: Florida.. | NJJ - 2017-06-07 8:53 PM ~BINGO~ - 2017-06-07 6:47 PM Nobody knows me offline.
shes so smart!!! I know shes from new jersey right?
anyone know?
Edited by Bibliafarm 2017-06-07 8:57 PM
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Serious Snap Trapper
Posts: 4275
Location: In The Snow, AZ | NJJ - 2017-06-07 5:53 PM
~BINGO~ - 2017-06-07 6:47 PM Nobody knows me offline.
LOL!!!
Darn it!!!!! Ya got me!!!
Soooo close, yet so far away. | |
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 Not Afraid to Work
Posts: 4717
| so this thread has me conflicted...
I do feel bad for anyone who is struggling and feels like they are drowning and is being dunked under by the ones they love. Selling their pride and joy has to be awful. Whether it is true or not, I don't know but that really is hard.
With that said, I agree with so many comments here. I grew up with a very horse wealthy family that started as a babysitter. They mounted me on incredible horses and taught me everything I know. I was given opportunity I cannot even describe. My family does not know horses at all. Although my parents weren't at races, they let me go wherever I wanted. They didn't force me to the cabin or to events, they let me ride. That was their support. They attended the year-end show when they could.
Since then, I am now 27 and have just bought my own farm. I work 2 jobs and have been financially supporting myself since I was 16. My parents don't have a lot of money and if it weren't for that horse family, I would never have been able to ride. It just wasn't in our means. However, my Dad bought me a 2 year old for $1500 when I was 14 once I didn't have horses to ride for this family that I could call my own. Most were no consignment and so were sold often. He also made up the difference on my first horse trailer after I had a good weekend at a race. An old gray bumper pull that I just sold a few years ago.
I remember a time, probably about 19/20 where I was so broke, I couldn't even breathe and I highly considered selling out. I didn't ask my parents for money, they didn't have it and it wasn't their responsibility. I learned to manage money differently and I learned to save better. I learned to cut costs, etc. It is so hard.... and my parents have helped me wherever they could but I am beyond grateful for it. It isn't much compared to others but it means the world to me.
I put myself through college, working full time and taking night classes. I worked hard and I finally have a piece of paradise and was able to buy a second horse now that I am no longer paying board. I also got to return the favor and my niece is now getting to live the opportunity I was given.
I tell you my story because it is hard... my parents don't get it and have made rude comments about horses because they simply don't understand it. It has gotten better with time and it helps that I did it myself. I never quit and I duh my heels in and made it work.
I don't agree with all the "sell your horse" comments because imo there are a lot of alternatives to this issue so I am sad to see you sold him. However, I think you need to remember that we all have to grow up once and some of the smallest gestures are things we should treasure. For example, living there for free or cheap rent. I also don't judge you for not going to college. Unfortunately, too many people go to school because its a society expectation when in reality it isn't for everyone and I know plenty of people who didn't go and are more successful than me and I have 2 degree but a lot of student loan debt even with paying what I could.
However, I will address that getting good grades and being a good person aren't things that make your parents owe you anything. You should do those things to feel better about yourself. Have expectations for yourself. I expect myself to work hard, be a good person, make smart decisions because I expect that from myself not because if I do, I will get something in return. | |
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I just read the headlines
Posts: 4483
| stayceem - 2017-06-07 9:05 PM
so this thread has me conflicted...
I do feel bad for anyone who is struggling and feels like they are drowning and is being dunked under by the ones they love. Selling their pride and joy has to be awful. Whether it is true or not, I don't know but that really is hard.
With that said, I agree with so many comments here. I grew up with a very horse wealthy family that started as a babysitter. They mounted me on incredible horses and taught me everything I know. I was given opportunity I cannot even describe. My family does not know horses at all. Although my parents weren't at races, they let me go wherever I wanted. They didn't force me to the cabin or to events, they let me ride. That was their support. They attended the year-end show when they could.
Since then, I am now 27 and have just bought my own farm. I work 2 jobs and have been financially supporting myself since I was 16. My parents don't have a lot of money and if it weren't for that horse family, I would never have been able to ride. It just wasn't in our means. However, my Dad bought me a 2 year old for $1500 when I was 14 once I didn't have horses to ride for this family that I could call my own. Most were no consignment and so were sold often. He also made up the difference on my first horse trailer after I had a good weekend at a race. An old gray bumper pull that I just sold a few years ago.
I remember a time, probably about 19/20 where I was so broke, I couldn't even breathe and I highly considered selling out. I didn't ask my parents for money, they didn't have it and it wasn't their responsibility. I learned to manage money differently and I learned to save better. I learned to cut costs, etc. It is so hard.... and my parents have helped me wherever they could but I am beyond grateful for it. It isn't much compared to others but it means the world to me.
I put myself through college, working full time and taking night classes. I worked hard and I finally have a piece of paradise and was able to buy a second horse now that I am no longer paying board. I also got to return the favor and my niece is now getting to live the opportunity I was given.
I tell you my story because it is hard... my parents don't get it and have made rude comments about horses because they simply don't understand it. It has gotten better with time and it helps that I did it myself. I never quit and I duh my heels in and made it work.
I don't agree with all the "sell your horse" comments because imo there are a lot of alternatives to this issue so I am sad to see you sold him. However, I think you need to remember that we all have to grow up once and some of the smallest gestures are things we should treasure. For example, living there for free or cheap rent. I also don't judge you for not going to college. Unfortunately, too many people go to school because its a society expectation when in reality it isn't for everyone and I know plenty of people who didn't go and are more successful than me and I have 2 degree but a lot of student loan debt even with paying what I could.
However, I will address that getting good grades and being a good person aren't things that make your parents owe you anything. You should do those things to feel better about yourself. Have expectations for yourself. I expect myself to work hard, be a good person, make smart decisions because I expect that from myself not because if I do, I will get something in return.
I hope she reads your reply- it's great advice. | |
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Expert
Posts: 1477
Location: In the land of peanuts and cotton | I gave her the benefit of a doubt to begin with but not anymore.
Life is hard. Suck it up buttercup. I'm 24 years old and still live at home because I didn't make the best schooling and career choices early on. I can't afford to support my self but I am trying. That's where my family comes in. They can and will support me and my horses. BUT I have to play by THEIR rules. You can't make up your own rules and expect them to be 100% supportave. Just like I don't expect them to fully support me. I pay for what I can pay for then they pick up the rest. I don't blow and waist money either. I would LOVE to be out of their house but I wouldn't be able to pay rent and have enough money left over for food. If selling is what they want you to do then do it. You can buy another one when you can afford it. I seriously would sell mine but they won't let me and they paid for them. So agin I live with them so I'm playing by their rules. Even if some of those rules are quite rediculous. Message me and I'll tell you all about those since you think your life is bad. | |
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BHW Resident Surgeon
Posts: 25352
Location: Bastrop, Texas | TessBelle - 2017-06-08 1:00 AM
I gave her the benefit of a doubt to begin with but not anymore.
Life is hard. Suck it up buttercup. I'm 24 years old and still live at home because I didn't make the best schooling and career choices early on. I can't afford to support my self but I am trying. That's where my family comes in. They can and will support me and my horses. BUT I have to play by THEIR rules. You can't make up your own rules and expect them to be 100% supportave. Just like I don't expect them to fully support me. I pay for what I can pay for then they pick up the rest. I don't blow and waist money either. I would LOVE to be out of their house but I wouldn't be able to pay rent and have enough money left over for food. If selling is what they want you to do then do it. You can buy another one when you can afford it. I seriously would sell mine but they won't let me and they paid for them. So agin I live with them so I'm playing by their rules. Even if some of those rules are quite rediculous. Message me and I'll tell you all about those since you think your life is bad.
This I find troubling, to be perfectly honest. In my opinion, I don't see your parents as doing you any favor. Not in the long run.
Not for a 24 year old grown woman. | |
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I just read the headlines
Posts: 4483
| TessBelle - 2017-06-08 1:00 AM
I gave her the benefit of a doubt to begin with but not anymore.
Life is hard. Suck it up buttercup. I'm 24 years old and still live at home because I didn't make the best schooling and career choices early on. I can't afford to support my self but I am trying. That's where my family comes in. They can and will support me and my horses. BUT I have to play by THEIR rules. You can't make up your own rules and expect them to be 100% supportave. Just like I don't expect them to fully support me. I pay for what I can pay for then they pick up the rest. I don't blow and waist money either. I would LOVE to be out of their house but I wouldn't be able to pay rent and have enough money left over for food. If selling is what they want you to do then do it. You can buy another one when you can afford it. I seriously would sell mine but they won't let me and they paid for them. So agin I live with them so I'm playing by their rules. Even if some of those rules are quite rediculous. Message me and I'll tell you all about those since you think your life is bad.
Why do you let them control you like that? There is nothing wrong with being on your own and poor. You build from there. Your situation is really unhealthy. You are the only one who can change it. I say this as a mom who would never do that to my kids. | |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 672
| Bear - 2017-06-08 8:19 AM
TessBelle - 2017-06-08 1:00 AM
I gave her the benefit of a doubt to begin with but not anymore.
Life is hard. Suck it up buttercup. I'm 24 years old and still live at home because I didn't make the best schooling and career choices early on. I can't afford to support my self but I am trying. That's where my family comes in. They can and will support me and my horses. BUT I have to play by THEIR rules. You can't make up your own rules and expect them to be 100% supportave. Just like I don't expect them to fully support me. I pay for what I can pay for then they pick up the rest. I don't blow and waist money either. I would LOVE to be out of their house but I wouldn't be able to pay rent and have enough money left over for food. If selling is what they want you to do then do it. You can buy another one when you can afford it. I seriously would sell mine but they won't let me and they paid for them. So agin I live with them so I'm playing by their rules. Even if some of those rules are quite rediculous. Message me and I'll tell you all about those since you think your life is bad.
This I find troubling, to be perfectly honest. In my opinion, I don't see your parents as doing you any favor. Not in the long run.
Not for a 24 year old grown woman.
Same. I had to work 2 full time jobs and trained horses on the side to support myself. I've been financially on my own since 16. Have I made the best decisions? No. I've made bad ones and got myself in to many binds. My parents response? Oh, that's too bad. What are you going to do about it?
I've had to sell things I loved and never dreamed of letting go. But, I learned from all those bad decisions. I appreciate my one full time job now and the fact that it pays well enough I only have to work one.
Take responsibility and initiative for yourself. Stop blaming your circumstances on what you are able to change.
Edited by veintiocho 2017-06-08 9:17 AM
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A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | streakysox - 2017-06-07 6:43 PM Bear - 2017-06-07 5:48 PM IRunOnFaith - 2017-06-07 2:35 PM BarrelRacing4Christ - 2017-06-07 2:10 PM She just wants attention. Her story continues to change over and over again. I'm done wasting my time.
What's next?
I wonder if the "buyer" could find this post and sue for their 35k they just shelled out for a "sound" horse. Would be very interesting if this post and all her other posts were used against her in a court of law. If I was the buyer I'd be warning people of her shady horse deals. If the deal wasn't shady and the horse was in fact sound then why are all the other posts made about this horse? Were all the other posts lies? Or was the comment about him being sound a lie? One of them has to be a lie. They can't both be true. It's not possible.
NJJ is right. Someone knows who you are offline. A lot of us know each other offline. This community is too small of a circle for everyone to not know who you are.
BHW, If you know someone who just bought a 35k Gelding from someone named Robin, send them this way! I'd love to hear the whole story as would the rest of BHW.
I wouldn't hold my breath. There's ample reason to doubt anything she says. Everything she's said has been twisted and contradicted. Is this the horse that was crashing barrels in one of her threads? She also mentioned that the horse was hurt. He sure sold fast. Goodness.
Yep thats the one went from a hairline fracture to a abscess and the farrier may him dead lame and all the other problems that this horse has.. | |
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Take a Picture
Posts: 12842
| Southtxponygirl - 2017-06-08 10:00 AM
streakysox - 2017-06-07 6:43 PM Bear - 2017-06-07 5:48 PM IRunOnFaith - 2017-06-07 2:35 PM BarrelRacing4Christ - 2017-06-07 2:10 PM She just wants attention. Her story continues to change over and over again. I'm done wasting my time.
What's next?
I wonder if the "buyer" could find this post and sue for their 35k they just shelled out for a "sound" horse. Would be very interesting if this post and all her other posts were used against her in a court of law. If I was the buyer I'd be warning people of her shady horse deals. If the deal wasn't shady and the horse was in fact sound then why are all the other posts made about this horse? Were all the other posts lies? Or was the comment about him being sound a lie? One of them has to be a lie. They can't both be true. It's not possible.
NJJ is right. Someone knows who you are offline. A lot of us know each other offline. This community is too small of a circle for everyone to not know who you are.
BHW, If you know someone who just bought a 35k Gelding from someone named Robin, send them this way! I'd love to hear the whole story as would the rest of BHW.
I wouldn't hold my breath. There's ample reason to doubt anything she says. Everything she's said has been twisted and contradicted. Is this the horse that was crashing barrels in one of her threads? She also mentioned that the horse was hurt. He sure sold fast. Goodness.
Wow. Lot of issues going on there. It is so easy to blame someone else. Doesn't sound like there is much left of him
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Not Afraid to Work
Posts: 4717
| veintiocho - 2017-06-08 9:06 AM
Bear - 2017-06-08 8:19 AM
TessBelle - 2017-06-08 1:00 AM
I gave her the benefit of a doubt to begin with but not anymore.
Life is hard. Suck it up buttercup. I'm 24 years old and still live at home because I didn't make the best schooling and career choices early on. I can't afford to support my self but I am trying. That's where my family comes in. They can and will support me and my horses. BUT I have to play by THEIR rules. You can't make up your own rules and expect them to be 100% supportave. Just like I don't expect them to fully support me. I pay for what I can pay for then they pick up the rest. I don't blow and waist money either. I would LOVE to be out of their house but I wouldn't be able to pay rent and have enough money left over for food. If selling is what they want you to do then do it. You can buy another one when you can afford it. I seriously would sell mine but they won't let me and they paid for them. So agin I live with them so I'm playing by their rules. Even if some of those rules are quite rediculous. Message me and I'll tell you all about those since you think your life is bad.
This I find troubling, to be perfectly honest. In my opinion, I don't see your parents as doing you any favor. Not in the long run.
Not for a 24 year old grown woman.
Same. I had to work 2 full time jobs and trained horses on the side to support myself. I've been financially on my own since 16. Have I made the best decisions? No. I've made bad ones and got myself in to many binds. My parents response? Oh, that's too bad. What are you going to do about it?
I've had to sell things I loved and never dreamed of letting go. But, I learned from all those bad decisions. I appreciate my one full time job now and the fact that it pays well enough I only have to work one.
Take responsibility and initiative for yourself. Stop blaming your circumstances on what you are able to change.
I remember living in my first apartment and I was so poor. I had $7, it was Wednesday and I got paid on Friday. I have no food and no gas. So I put $3 in my gas tank to get me to work and then bough milk and cereal. I didn't ask Mom and Dad for money, I am sure they would have helped but I needed to learn!!!! How am I ever gonna learn if I didn't have to problem solve for myself.
I could blame it on the fact that my student loans had just come through and higher than expected but that really doesn't matter... I needed to budget better and clearly I had miscalculated. I was going to survive on cereal for 2 days and I did. and I have learned a lot from experiences like that. | |
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Ms. Marine
Posts: 4641
Location: Texas | stayceem - 2017-06-08 9:55 AM
veintiocho - 2017-06-08 9:06 AM
Bear - 2017-06-08 8:19 AM
TessBelle - 2017-06-08 1:00 AM
I gave her the benefit of a doubt to begin with but not anymore.
Life is hard. Suck it up buttercup. I'm 24 years old and still live at home because I didn't make the best schooling and career choices early on. I can't afford to support my self but I am trying. That's where my family comes in. They can and will support me and my horses. BUT I have to play by THEIR rules. You can't make up your own rules and expect them to be 100% supportave. Just like I don't expect them to fully support me. I pay for what I can pay for then they pick up the rest. I don't blow and waist money either. I would LOVE to be out of their house but I wouldn't be able to pay rent and have enough money left over for food. If selling is what they want you to do then do it. You can buy another one when you can afford it. I seriously would sell mine but they won't let me and they paid for them. So agin I live with them so I'm playing by their rules. Even if some of those rules are quite rediculous. Message me and I'll tell you all about those since you think your life is bad.
This I find troubling, to be perfectly honest. In my opinion, I don't see your parents as doing you any favor. Not in the long run.
Not for a 24 year old grown woman.
Same. I had to work 2 full time jobs and trained horses on the side to support myself. I've been financially on my own since 16. Have I made the best decisions? No. I've made bad ones and got myself in to many binds. My parents response? Oh, that's too bad. What are you going to do about it?
I've had to sell things I loved and never dreamed of letting go. But, I learned from all those bad decisions. I appreciate my one full time job now and the fact that it pays well enough I only have to work one.
Take responsibility and initiative for yourself. Stop blaming your circumstances on what you are able to change.
I remember living in my first apartment and I was so poor. I had $7, it was Wednesday and I got paid on Friday. I have no food and no gas. So I put $3 in my gas tank to get me to work and then bough milk and cereal. I didn't ask Mom and Dad for money, I am sure they would have helped but I needed to learn!!!! How am I ever gonna learn if I didn't have to problem solve for myself.
I could blame it on the fact that my student loans had just come through and higher than expected but that really doesn't matter... I needed to budget better and clearly I had miscalculated. I was going to survive on cereal for 2 days and I did. and I have learned a lot from experiences like that.
I thank God that my parents instilled a good work ethic in me from a very young age. I grew up doing chores and helping my dad work around the ranch. I would get an allowance once a month. If I had a barrel race I wanted to go to, I had to be able to afford the gas and entry fees for it, not to mention I had to teach myself and train both of my mares for barrel racing. There was no way that my parents could've afforded to buy me a fancy pants 40K horse. We were barely making it when I was a kid. Once I turned 16 I got on the work program in high school, so I would go to school until noon and then I went to work. I worked two jobs to help my parents out. When I turned 18, I enlisted in the Marine Corps. I am 24 now. I have a wonderful husband and two beautiful children. Together we bust our rears to provide for our family and be able to do the things we want. I get off of active duty in 17 wonderful days, we will be moving back to Texas, finding jobs and finishing our degrees. My horses aren't getting any younger, but they will have to wait until we are established and stable. OP, horses come and go, but you've got to learn to correctly prioritize your life. Stop making excuses for yourself, because that's all you're doing. Stop relying on your parents wallet to make it through your life. At some point you've got to jump out of the nest. It's not going to be comfortable and sometimes you're going to be living of ramen. Your parents hardly sound unsupportive.. You've had opportunities I've only been able to dream of. Be thankful for the things that you have and stop blaming your parents and trash talking them on the internet.
Edited by BarrelRacing4Christ 2017-06-08 1:28 PM
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 324
| This is a little out of the blue as I wasn't here for the rest of the thread and it seems to all be winding down but I wanted to say
THANK YOU to everyone who has commented on this with the 'Parents' perspective!!!
I didn't know it was something I needed to hear(read) until I read it.
I am a 19 year old Sophmore in college on a full tuition academic scholarship, I graduated high school with a 4.5 GPA and have NEVER been in trouble. I have a full time job and 3 horses of my own (yes, I pay for all of their expenses on my own ever since graduation). My parents pay for my car (it was the deal: I get the scholarship, they get me the car), let me live at home rent-free, let me keep my horses on their property board-free, give me every freedom I could want and only request that I let them know when I will be out late so they don't worry.
Before reading this ENTIRE thread (wow, that took a little time lol) I completely didn't appreciate any of that near enough. I have always been frustrated with having parents who are "over-bearing," "controlling," and "over-protective." But D*MN I really could've had it a lot worse!!!!! Granted, all my horses cost less than 2K each but that doesn't really matter, they're still good horses and they bring me a lot of happiness no matter their price tag... My parents bought the horses, land, fence, arena, tack, trailer, vet bills, feed, maintenance, entry fees, and hauled me around for a couple years until I got my license and a job and was able to take up some of the responsibility on my own. Yeah, they've absolutely gotten tired of it all and I've heard the "you should sell your horses, they aren't necessary, they are a luxury" speech time and time again--and YES I HAVE BEEN FRUSTRATED WITH THEIR OPINION. But I've never really had it put into perspective for me how much they have actually done to make sure I am successful, happy, and safe. I always thought that I deserved the privilege of having horses but I was WRONG... I never did anything that deserved having THOUSANDS of dollars and hours spent on my HOBBY. Sure, I made/make excellent grades, I don't smoke, drink, party, or run around, I stay out of trouble, etc. so basically I do what I am SUPPOSED TO DO ANYWAYS-- I never deserved a reward for that!?!?! Man, I wish I could got tell 16/17 year-old me to drop the sass and grow up.
I now feel like a spoiled little brat for every time I've ever had an attitude with them... After taking a step back and considering their perspective, I think I'm going to go home this evening, give them both one heck of a hug, make dinner, clean the house, and say THANK YOU a billion and one times to make up for every time I should've said it growing up and DIDN'T.
Edited by **Cowgirl Up** 2017-06-08 3:04 PM
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I just read the headlines
Posts: 4483
| **Cowgirl Up** - 2017-06-08 3:02 PM
This is a little out of the blue as I wasn't here for the rest of the thread and it seems to all be winding down but I wanted to say
THANK YOU to everyone who has commented on this with the 'Parents' perspective!!!
I didn't know it was something I needed to hear(read) until I read it.
I am a 19 year old Sophmore in college on a full tuition academic scholarship, I graduated high school with a 4.5 GPA and have NEVER been in trouble. I have a full time job and 3 horses of my own (yes, I pay for all of their expenses on my own ever since graduation). My parents pay for my car (it was the deal: I get the scholarship, they get me the car), let me live at home rent-free, let me keep my horses on their property board-free, give me every freedom I could want and only request that I let them know when I will be out late so they don't worry.
Before reading this ENTIRE thread (wow, that took a little time lol) I completely didn't appreciate any of that near enough. I have always been frustrated with having parents who are "over-bearing," "controlling," and "over-protective." But D*MN I really could've had it a lot worse!!!!! Granted, all my horses cost less than 2K each but that doesn't really matter, they're still good horses and they bring me a lot of happiness no matter their price tag... My parents bought the horses, land, fence, arena, tack, trailer, vet bills, feed, maintenance, entry fees, and hauled me around for a couple years until I got my license and a job and was able to take up some of the responsibility on my own. Yeah, they've absolutely gotten tired of it all and I've heard the "you should sell your horses, they aren't necessary, they are a luxury" speech time and time again--and YES I HAVE BEEN FRUSTRATED WITH THEIR OPINION. But I've never really had it put into perspective for me how much they have actually done to make sure I am successful, happy, and safe. I always thought that I deserved the privilege of having horses but I was WRONG... I never did anything that deserved having THOUSANDS of dollars and hours spent on my HOBBY. Sure, I made/make excellent grades, I don't smoke, drink, party, or run around, I stay out of trouble, etc. so basically I do what I am SUPPOSED TO DO ANYWAYS-- I never deserved a reward for that!?!?! Man, I wish I could got tell 16/17 year-old me to drop the sass and grow up.
I now feel like a spoiled little brat for every time I've ever had an attitude with them... After taking a step back and considering their perspective, I think I'm going to go home this evening, give them both one heck of a hug, make dinner, clean the house, and say THANK YOU a billion and one times to make up for every time I should've said it growing up and DIDN'T.
When do what you just said you would do, I want you to know that you will have made your parents so proud of you and they will feel all the fights and disagreements will have been worth it just to have such a wonderful daughter who now appreciates them and loves them. They might even lighten up on the you should sell the horses bit. I am a parent of 2 grown kids and when they told me they loved me and appreciated what I did for them, it made me so proud of being their mom. | |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 602
| Well if she wanted sympathy, she didnt get it.  | |
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Not Afraid to Work
Posts: 4717
| GLP - 2017-06-08 3:14 PM
**Cowgirl Up** - 2017-06-08 3:02 PM
This is a little out of the blue as I wasn't here for the rest of the thread and it seems to all be winding down but I wanted to say
THANK YOU to everyone who has commented on this with the 'Parents' perspective!!!
I didn't know it was something I needed to hear(read) until I read it.
I am a 19 year old Sophmore in college on a full tuition academic scholarship, I graduated high school with a 4.5 GPA and have NEVER been in trouble. I have a full time job and 3 horses of my own (yes, I pay for all of their expenses on my own ever since graduation). My parents pay for my car (it was the deal: I get the scholarship, they get me the car), let me live at home rent-free, let me keep my horses on their property board-free, give me every freedom I could want and only request that I let them know when I will be out late so they don't worry.
Before reading this ENTIRE thread (wow, that took a little time lol) I completely didn't appreciate any of that near enough. I have always been frustrated with having parents who are "over-bearing," "controlling," and "over-protective." But D*MN I really could've had it a lot worse!!!!! Granted, all my horses cost less than 2K each but that doesn't really matter, they're still good horses and they bring me a lot of happiness no matter their price tag... My parents bought the horses, land, fence, arena, tack, trailer, vet bills, feed, maintenance, entry fees, and hauled me around for a couple years until I got my license and a job and was able to take up some of the responsibility on my own. Yeah, they've absolutely gotten tired of it all and I've heard the "you should sell your horses, they aren't necessary, they are a luxury" speech time and time again--and YES I HAVE BEEN FRUSTRATED WITH THEIR OPINION. But I've never really had it put into perspective for me how much they have actually done to make sure I am successful, happy, and safe. I always thought that I deserved the privilege of having horses but I was WRONG... I never did anything that deserved having THOUSANDS of dollars and hours spent on my HOBBY. Sure, I made/make excellent grades, I don't smoke, drink, party, or run around, I stay out of trouble, etc. so basically I do what I am SUPPOSED TO DO ANYWAYS-- I never deserved a reward for that!?!?! Man, I wish I could got tell 16/17 year-old me to drop the sass and grow up.
I now feel like a spoiled little brat for every time I've ever had an attitude with them... After taking a step back and considering their perspective, I think I'm going to go home this evening, give them both one heck of a hug, make dinner, clean the house, and say THANK YOU a billion and one times to make up for every time I should've said it growing up and DIDN'T.
When do what you just said you would do, I want you to know that you will have made your parents so proud of you and they will feel all the fights and disagreements will have been worth it just to have such a wonderful daughter who now appreciates them and loves them. They might even lighten up on the you should sell the horses bit. I am a parent of 2 grown kids and when they told me they loved me and appreciated what I did for them, it made me so proud of being their mom.
Heck I am proud of you! Your parents should be too! | |
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Expert
Posts: 1304
| Awesome response and I'm sure they're so proud of you! I definitely have been unappreciative in the past and had some sass as well, specifically in high school, so I think this could resonate with anyone. I think this whole thread is just GOOD so we can see different experiences, perspectives, etc. Or at least it was for me. Love BHW! | |
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Veteran
Posts: 119
Location: NeverLand | Wow! Im a little late to the party, all I can say is bless her... liars in the horse world don't last long. | |
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Fact Checker
Posts: 16575
Location: Displaced Iowegian | And this thread is STILL going ...... | |
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 Sock eating dog owner
Posts: 4557
Location: Where the pavement ends and the West begins Utah | I hear this everyday from my SO friends and family. It is not advice or subject. It is there polite way of saying you are dirt under my feet and nothing more to me. So sick it up. Keep your mouth shut and move on. They are not there to help you.I'm aged been ****ed on in every way so flame away if you must.it's an ugly world we live in unfortunately. | |
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A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | This should be called The Energizer Bunny Thread, lol..
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A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas |
and going and going and going, lol.. | |
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Veteran
Posts: 119
Location: NeverLand | Southtxponygirl - 2017-06-13 11:16 AM
This should be called The Energizer Bunny Thread, lol..
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