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| Ok. I'm really not sure what to do with a situation. I have some good friends saying ignore it, others saying talk to this person and others saying tear her a new butt hole.
I'll try to make this as short as I can. I befriended a gal about 5 years ago (let's call her Sue) when she started taking riding lessons and then bought a horse at the barn I ride at. I started hauling her to horse events as she didn't own a truck and trailer. For the first few years we got a long really well even though her constant life drama wore on me. She was recently divorced and had met a guy who was bad news. We (as in everyone at the barn) warned her he was bad news and would only break her heart but she didn't listen and has spent 5 years chasing this douche bag. Sue has a good job and was receiving a pretty good monthly check from her ex in alimony and child support (1 child). As a result she lives pretty well. Drives new SUV's and has a fancy sports car. Let's just say she doesn't do without much. Anyway her ex petitioned the courts to have her monthly check from him decreased and he won.
Sue had moved her horse last fall to another barn and started taking lesson with that barn owner trainer. I defended the move at the time to all of us at the original barn saying it was financial (cheaper for her there and that's the only reason she moved), then she bought not one but two new vehicles two months later. I was ticked at the time as I felt lied to. Since then I have backed away. I felt uncomfortable with the barn she is now at and their owners and was getting tired of her constant man drama. Now she says she is being forced (by ex) to sell her horse as she just can't afford to keep him. When she first told me I actually was blunt and said 'um sell your sports car and you could afford to keep your horse'. Well she didn't really like my comment. She texted me a month ago saying her horse and tack was for sale. She has a very sweet horse and I'm really wanting the horse to go to a home where she is loved and well cared for so I told a gal that rides at the original barn where horse came from that the horse was in deed for sale. The gal contacted Sue and said I hear your horse is for sale and I'm really interested in buying her. About 2 weeks ago I had lady contact me asking about a saddle I had for sale last year. I said I sold it but that Sue had one just like it and it would be for sale at the end of Oct..
Well last week I got a very nasty text from Sue. How dare these people contact her about her horse and tack when she didn't even know until just a few days ago she was selling (ummmm I have text from over a month ago from you). She went on how this was a very hard decisions she was forced into making by her ex and she didn't appreciate all these 'vultures' circling for her horse and tack. I only told one person about the horse as I knew they had mentioned numerous times they would love to be able to buy that horse. I told one person about her saddle as they contacted me so I thought I was being nice to both parties - seller and buyer. I was livid when I got the text but decided to take the high road and simply apologized for speaking out of turn and that I meant no harm and thought I was being helpful and that I would now stay out of it. Well within minutes I got an even nastier text about how we (everyone at original barn) have turned our backs on her, blah, blah, blah. Not sure what she expected when she moved her horse to a barn where the owner makes no bones about her feelings towards those of us at original barn. It's awkward. Plus again we were all VERY tired of the man drama.
I haven't replied to the second text. I did find out another gal at our barn got the same nasty text as me, like me apologized and like me got a second text. Next week we have a final equine event and this gal will be there. It will be her last event to my knowledge as horse will be sold after. If I didn't have to see her I wouldn't care. But I hate awkwardness and this isn't a big enough event to avoid her.
1. Part of me wants to tell her exactly what I think - she's made really bad decisions which is why she is selling her horse and if she really truly wanted her horse maybe give up things like your sports car and numerous other expensive past times and you could keep your horse. I frankly don't know too many of us with horses who don't have to make sacrifices to have them. I think 98% of us sacrifice a lot of stuff to have these creatures and do what we do.
2.The other side says ignore her and try to avoid her next week as much as possible and just don't engage.
3. And the other side want's to say to her 'hey you crossed a line last week and I really didn't appreciate being the brunt of your anger, you aren't the only one that has bad days, but most of us don't take our bad days out on other innocent people'. And then leave it at that.
Suggestions? Please? I'm dreading going to the event with this hanging over my head. The people at our barn and owners are saying ignore her and it and walk away. A couple friends are saying tell her off. Husband says go with 3. What would you all do. If I don't address her prior to event my guts will be in a knot the entire time. In a way I'd like to sit down face to face and make a last ditch effort to talk some sense into her. I know she likely wouldn't listen but at least I could say I tried one last time. Truth is I think once she moved her horse she lost her support system. Those of us at original barn did try to help her and support her and were friends with her but once she moved she lost that and us and new place doesn't have the large supportive group that is at original barn. And crazily enough owners of original barn and horse would let her come back.
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 Undercover Amish Mafia Member
Posts: 9992
   
Location: Kansas | Oh geez, she sounds like a hot mess that is the crazy type that stands on the bridge as it burns. Block her number, block her from any social media account, and just ignore the drama |
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Location: South Dakota | If she behaves in a snarky manner towards you at the show....then I would do 1 and 3 with a level off ****ed off, she has not seen in a long while. If she is decent take the high road... just be cordial, detached, and polite...Most importantly..focus on your horse, your runs, and your good buddies around you. |
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 Take a Picture
Posts: 12842
| I would just drop it. If she confronts you at a show walk of and let everyone see what an idiot she is. |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 695
Location: Windoming | Be the one with class and ignore her unless she forces a confrontation. She sounds like a drama queen. |
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 A Barrel Of Monkeys
Posts: 12972
Location: Texas | You only have to see her one more time. So I'd just be polite and go on with my day. Buying into the drama just causes stress for you. |
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Married to a Louie Lover
Posts: 3303
| Be decent because it is a public place and affects your reputation in the eyes of anyone who witnesses a confrontation - even if they don’t know the whole story.
Ignore her as much as possible and go about your business. If she wants to be confrontational, I’ve found being overly polite with a dash of “well bless your heart” typically makes it hard for a person to get worked up against without making themselves look like fools. |
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 Straight Shooter
Posts: 5725
Location: SW North Dakota | OhMax - 2017-10-10 1:39 PM Be decent because it is a public place and affects your reputation in the eyes of anyone who witnesses a confrontation - even if they don’t know the whole story. Ignore her as much as possible and go about your business. If she wants to be confrontational, I’ve found being overly polite with a dash of “well bless your heart” typically makes it hard for a person to get worked up against without making themselves look like fools.
Agree with this. Distance yourself immediately. Be polite and do your own thing. Being someone who needs to speak up if I'm prodded, experience tells me to "prepare" a simple, polite and direct response, and avoid pointing fingers. IF she brings it up, be genuine and polite and simply let her know you were disappointed with the apparent misunderstanding over text messages, and would like to forgive and forget. Then step away graciously from the whole Sh*tshow. |
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Go Get Em!
Posts: 13503
Location: OH. IO | streakysox - 2017-10-10 12:15 PM
I would just drop it. If she confronts you at a show walk of and let everyone see what an idiot she is.
This,and then have no contact.WIPE THE NEGATIVE PEOPLE OUT!!! |
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What would you do? OT